Your Breasts

Breasts are often served up first during foreplay, much to every single guy’s excitement. Some men are really super into breasts while others just “like” them, but there are very, very few guys (if any) that don’t like breasts at all. The thing is, a lot of women think that men only like certain kinds of breasts. For example, a man might only think a pair of breasts are sexy if they’re the right size and if they’re perky.

This isn’t true at all – it’s simply the result of social conditioning by lingerie companies. Men actually love all breasts. Any size, shape, color – it doesn’t matter. A woman with very large breasts might be unhappy that her breasts sag when she’s not wearing a bra, but her man is most likely just enjoying burying his face in them and making motorboat sounds. A woman with small breasts might want them to be bigger, but her guy is most likely just enjoying tickling and playing with her perky nipples. Men love breasts and they love every kind.

Your Butt

Your fella loves your butt. No matter what your butt looks like – whether it’s big and smackable, or a tiny little thing that looks good in a tight pair of jeans. Guys love to look at butts when they have sex, they like to grab them, smack them and sometimes even bite them. They like to watch you parade around in your underwear around the house and give you a little smack here and there. He especially likes to see it jiggle a little bit – or a lot, depending on his preferences.

Very few men have looked at a woman and said, “Wow, that ass just looks terrible. Just terrible.” In fact, what usually goes through a guy’s mind when he sees a butt that he particularly likes is how great it would look served up to him doggie style. So even if you have stretch marks or cellulite, you can bet that your guy loves your butt. Period.

Your Skin

Good foreplay involves lots of touching of your skin. Your guy loves your skin – he enjoys it so much because women’s skin is almost always softer than a man’s. It always smells good, is usually hairless in the important places and just feels great to rub, stroke, touch and grab. He’s not going to notice your stretch marks. He’s not going to be scrutinizing the quality of your skin, trying to figure out whether it’s dry and ashy and if you need to use more moisturizer or what kind you should use. He’s just enjoying touching and feeling the skin all over your body. So let him and don’t worry about it!

Your Lips

Most guys aren’t into fake lips. Ones injected with fillers, or those with lipliner drawn on so scarily that they really do look almost like a clown. Nope. He loves your soft, natural, wet lips. He especially enjoys them when you’re kissing him, or when he can feel them wrapped around his penis during a blowjob. He doesn’t like it when you put on gobs of lipstick or lipgloss – he may enjoy the way that looks in a photo or something, but he doesn’t want to come away with red or pink lips when he kisses you. And it just frustrates him if you’re wearing a lot of lip color, because then he can’t kiss you. He likes to kiss you whenever he wants!

Brush your lips with your toothbrush when you brush your teeth to remove dead skin and make them super soft. Dab on some good, organic balm and you’re perfectly kissable. He’ll love it.

Your Enthusiasm

If you are INTO sex, he’s going to be INTO you. Period. It doesn’t matter if you have rolls, cellulite, acne, droopy breasts. Doesn’t matter at all. If you are enthusiastic, excited about having sex with him and genuinely into it, he’s not going to notice all those things that you spend hours in the mirror picking apart. He’s just going to be so excited about how excited you are to be doing it with him. So next time you go to get it on with your beau, strip your clothes off, let him feel your skin, kiss him all over, rub your breasts in his face and act like you’re having the best time in the world. He won’t know what hit him.

Related Posts

1. Sexy Valentine’s Day Ideas – Sexy Games for Couples
2. Q&A: She Thinks I’m Gay! How Do I Ask Her Out?
3. What She Really Thinks About Your Big Penis
4. Sexy Things to Do With Clothes
5. Medications and Orgasm – Help! My Wife Thinks She’s the Reason I Can’t Orgasm

Give Her Space

For a girl to actually want to go after you, she has to actually have room to go after you. If smothering her with attention and asking her out on dates all the time, she’s going to get sick of you being in her space and she’s going to start running. A girl who feels smothered or trapped isn’t going to want to go after you at all – she’ll be wanting to get away from you at every possible turn. At first, this is just because she needs to “breathe” – it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you anymore. However, if you continue to smother her and stay in her space without giving her a chance to recoup, she’s going to try to get away – and stay away.

Let her develop her own life. In fact, encourage it! Make sure she spends time with her friends and you spend time with yours. Have a life outside of your friendship or relationship and make sure she does too. By giving her space, you’re ensuring that she has time to think about you and miss you – after which, she’ll start to go after you!

Let The Attraction Unfold Naturally

This is perhaps one of the most important parts of dating and getting a woman to want to go after you instead of the other way around. Far too many guys “try” too hard to win a woman’s attention and affection, which really has the opposite effect. She’s not going to be very attracted when you’re constantly in her space.

Attraction doesn’t often happen instantly – it’s something that needs to grow over time. When a man tries too hard, he stifles that natural process. The woman he’s interested in is so busy trying to get away that there’s no time for that attraction and sexual tension to develop. Enjoy being together, but don’t start out with high expectations of where the friendship is going to go or if you’re going to get into a monogamous, serious relationship any time soon. Instead, learn to enjoy the moments you have together and let nature take it’s course!

Dating Isn’t The Same As It Used To Be

Women aren’t sitting around anymore waiting for a guy to ask them out. In fact, it’s quite a bit different from the “days of old.” Women hold a lot of power in the dating scene and they’re often the ones who call the shots. The ratio of available guys to women are a bit skewed these days – about 5% of the single male population are the ones getting all the girls, and the other 95% is wondering what happened!

How To Be In The 5%

Look around and take note of all the guys out there that are getting women. What are they doing? How do they dress? How do they act? What are they saying? Chances are, they’re not offering up some cheesy pick up lines. What you’ll notice is that these guys appear strong, confident and independent to the women around them.

They have a life of their own, they have passions and they carry themselves with an aura of confidence and high self esteem. Does that mean you have to be cocky to get women to want to go out with you? Not hardly. But if you’re a wimp who is always asking “permission” for things or apologizing for things, you’re not going to get very far at all.

Learn to be that strong, confident guy. Learn to like yourself for who you are and be yourself when you go into the dating scene. You have something of value to offer – now you just have to believe it.

Develop A Magnetic Personality

For women to approach you, you’ve got to put yourself out there. Be someone who is magnetic, flirtatious, charming and really fun to be around. Have that core inner strength and happiness that radiates outward to other people. This is probably the number one piece of dating advice – if you don’t do anything else, do this. Having a personality that people want to be around is the first step to attracting friends and getting women to go after you – instead of you always having to ask them out!

Related Posts

1. Q&A: Why Do Jerks Get All The Girls?
2. How To Be A Nice Guy – And Get All The Girls
3. 5 Tips To Get Girls Who Are A “10!”
4. How To Meet More Hot College Girls
5. How To Pick Up Girls – For Smart Guys

Let Her Know That You Exist

If you really like a woman, nothing is going to happen – ever – if she doesn’t know that you even exist. Bite the bullet, go up to the girl you like and introduce yourself! She’s never going to know who you are if you don’t introduce yourself, and of course, if she doesn’t know who you are, how can you date her?

Get To Know The Woman You Like

Most guys (and gals) that like someone end up fantasizing about who this woman is, what they like and what they don’t like. In reality, however, there’s no way to actually know what this woman is like without really getting to know them. So after you introduce yourself to the girl you like, take the time to get to know her. Talk to her, find out what her interests and disinterests are, as well as what passions drive her.

This will do one of two things – you’ll either get to know her and figure out that you don’t like who she really is and that you’d rather not start dating her, or you’ll like her even more than you already did. Just don’t assume that because you like this woman that you know everything there is to know about them – because your imagination is actually what fills in a lot of the blanks. You may think that you know something about a person, when in all actuality, your imagination came up with that particular characteristic.

How To Get The Woman You Like To Want To Start Dating YOU

To attract women, whether you like them or not, you have to be the kind of guy that attracts women. Be a strong, confident guy who has passions and a drive in life. Learn to love yourself and be happy about where your life is going, so you can then radiate that happiness and confidence outward to other people. THIS is what women are attracted to! They’re not interested in weak, wimpy guys that are desperate to get a girl. In fact, quite the opposite. They want to be dating a guy who is confident in himself, and is happy and fun to be around.

• Be positive, optimistic and enthusiastic
• Enjoy social situations and meeting new people
• Be a part of the “fun” crowd
• Have goals in life
• Know where you are and where you want to be in life
• Be fun to hang out with
• Know how to have a great conversation

Access The Emotions That Make Her Addicted To Being Around You

A woman will remember you depending on the way you make her feel. If you don’t make her feel good, all the dating tips in the world aren’t going to help you. She’s either not going to remember you at all or you’ll leave her with a bad memory – which is the exact opposite of what you want to do! Instead, focus on making her feel great when she’s around you.

• Have a good time with her
• Make her feel incredibly sexy and beautiful
• Do interesting, fun, exciting and memorable things together
• Show that you’re interested in who she is
• Pay attention and listen to her

Never Change Who You Are For A Girl

Remember to never change who you are for a girl. Learn to love yourself for who you are and allow that to shine through – never change yourself to act the way a particular girl wants you to act or look the way a girl wants you to look. Changing who you are to impress someone else is going to do nothing but make you look lame – and the woman you may actually want to be with might see this and count you out because you’re too wishy washy and don’t have that self-confidence.

If the girl you’re interested in isn’t responding well to your dating efforts, let it go. It may not be a good fit, and if you keep trying to make it work with someone it’s obviously not going to work with, you’re going to be making yourself unavailable for the right woman that might come along. If you have that self confidence, you’re going to be able to let it go and move on to another girl who will appreciate you for who you are.

Related Posts

1. Peeping Tom – How Do I Turn My Fantasy Into Reality?
2. Turn Fantasies into Reality with Sexy Lingerie
3. How You Can Turn Hesitation and Fear Into Positive Dating Experiences
4. Q&A: How To Turn Down A Good Friend Who Wants To Date
5. Is Phone Dating Better Than Online Dating Or Facebook?

Women Love Romance

Almost every woman loves romance – they love to be sweet talked and told how beautiful they are or how much they mean to a guy. This is another one of those big “men are different than women” things – men don’t put as much stock into words themselves as women do. Words mean a lot to women and with the right words, you can have direct entry into a woman’s heart. If you say the right things, you’ll make a woman melt almost immediately!

Compliments To Use

When you compliment a woman, what you say goes directly into her brain and into her heart. She’ll remember what you said for weeks, months or even years and if it’s something really special, she’ll never forget it. Here are some great compliments to use when you want to make a woman swoon:

• Start any sentence with “I love it when you….” Fill in the blank with something she does that you think is cute or that makes your life easier. This can be really effective if you know she goes out of her way to do something for you. Telling her you love this shows her that a) you noticed that she did it and b) that you appreciate it. That kind of compliment is golden!
• “You make me….” Use this one to tell her about something she does to make your life better in some way. Women love to fix their guys – so tell her something that she’s done for you that makes things easier or better for you.
• Compliment her in ways that make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world. Make her feel like she’s truly unique, special and there’s no one else in the world like her. Tell her why she’s perfect for you and how she’s absolutely irreplaceable.

Old Favorites

There are some sayings that have been around for awhile that still work – in fact, these phrases are probably what you’d consider to be a “hammer” in your compliment tool belt. Nothing new or fancy, but these phrases definitely do the trick.

• Saying “I love you” is always in style. Of course, you want to make sure that you’re in that stage of your relationship before you bust out the L-word. If you just met that day, this probably isn’t appropriate to use.
• Tell her that she’s beautiful. Use the word “beautiful” – you may think that “hot” equates to the same thing, but for a woman, it doesn’t. If you tell her that she’s “hot,” she’ll think you regard her as more of an object than a person. Tell her how breathtaking she looks instead.

Being Genuine Is Everything

Don’t just say empty words when you give a woman a compliment. She will see right through it before you even finish getting the sentence out of your mouth. Make sure that you mean what you say! Because women speak in the language of emotions, it’s important to attach your emotions to everything you say. Yes, you’re making yourself a little more vulnerable this way, but it’s exactly what is going to make the difference to your woman.

Pick up lines aren’t what you want to use to give your partner or a woman you like a genuine compliment. What you say needs to come directly from your heart – not memorized beforehand. When talking to a woman, don’t over-exaggerate. Be honest and put the real you out there.

Have A Positive Focus

When wooing a woman with romance, you want to make sure that what you’re saying has a positive focus. Stay focused on talking about the things you like about your woman, not the things that you don’t like.  A great way to be positive is to be kind and appreciative of the thinks you like about your partner about of the things she does for you to make your life better.

Actions do speak louder than words, so you also want to make sure that you’re doing kind things in addition to saying nice and sweet things to your woman. If you’re saying one thing but doing another, you’re only going to confuse or upset her. Here’s how to really show a woman that she’s important to you:

• Spend time with her. If you’re on the phone, get off and talk to her instead.
• Make eye contact with her. Show her you care about her through your eyes.
• Show her that you’re grateful for her being in your life.
• Show her that she’s important to you and you’re happy she’s there with you.

If you compliment a woman and show her that you really care, you’ll make her melt in no time!

Related Posts

1. How To Touch A Woman & Make Her MELT!
2. Kissing Do’s And Don’ts (Avoid THESE & Make Her Melt!)
3. Erotic Massage: Melt Her Tension With A Head And Face Rub
4. How To Make A Girl Like You
5. Oral Sex Positions That Will Make Your Girl Beg For More!

Do you think girls frequently expose their breasts on purpose? How often do girls show it intentionally, or is it usually inadvertently?

–YouTube Viewer

It Depends On A Woman’s Mood

Whether a woman shows her breasts or not depends entirely on what mood she’s in. In fact, pretty much everything a woman does depends on what mood she’s in! Perhaps she’s dating around and feeling like flirting a little – she is probably going to be more inclined to show her breasts off in a low cut shirt. If she is not feeling as sexy, she will probably wear a shirt that doesn’t show as much.

However, if a woman’s breasts are showing, don’t assume that it is because she wanted it to.  It could possibly be unintentional as well. She may not have given it any thought at all – certainly not as much thought as many men do. Most ladies are very much into fashion and style – that’s a no brainer. So a woman might wear a shirt that is low cut and shows the tops of a her breasts simply because she likes the shirt, or it might go really well with an outfit or a favorite piece of jewelry.

Men Want To See Breasts

Girls know from experience in the dating field that men respond very well to short shorts and a little boob action. If a woman is trying to get a date, she might wear a lower cut shirt in the hopes that a guy will notice her and come up and introduce himself to her and possibly ask her out. There’s a reason that Victoria’s Secret push up bras are so popular! Chances are, if men responded as well to a long sleeve turtleneck as they did a deep v-neck top, turtlenecks would be the new “in fashion” item!

The same goes for lingerie. Lingerie wasn’t designed because ladies enjoy walking around in garter belts and crotchless panties. It’s almost never something a woman gets for herself if she doesn’t have a man who will get to see it on her. It was designed with men in mind. Men love to see girls’ bodies and lingerie was created to accent and show off certain parts of girls’ bodies that guys find attractive!

It Might Just Be Hot Out

Another reason a woman might be showing her breasts accidentally is if she’s wearing a low cut shirt or tank top because it’s hot out. Just like men take their shirts completely off or wear a tank top or thin shirt sometimes if it’s very warm out, a woman might wear a shirt that has a little less to it for comfort reasons or because she wants to get a little sun.

Also, ladies that have very large breasts get warmer up there more quickly than ladies with smaller breasts. It can get a little damp and sweaty up there if a woman has larger breasts, which can be extremely uncomfortable and even cause rashes or chafing. So it makes sense that wearing a low cut shirt would help keep a woman more cool and comfortable during the warmer months.

Are There Girls That Use Their Breasts To Entice And Manipulate Men?

There are girls out there that will use their bodies to their advantage to attract men and make them start thinking about sex from the get go. Whether they’re wearing itty bitty shorts, a low cut shirt, a backless dress or a miniskirt, they’re doing it because they know it will grab a lot of men’s attention and that’s what they’re after. But that doesn’t mean that all girls who expose their breasts are doing it for this particular reason.

While there are a portion of ladies that do expose their breasts intentionally to manipulate men, this number is far lower than the number of men who notice! Men think about it much more than girls do, so chances are, if you’re noticing a woman’s breasts in a low cut shirt, she probably didn’t do it deliberately. She probably has another reason for letting the girls out – like comfort or fashion.

Related Posts

1. Show Me You Love Me
2. Show Some Love To Trojan Man!
3. Show The Love – 5 Ways To Let Your Partner Know How You Feel
4. How To Meet More Women Than Ever Before In Just ONE Month!
5. The 3 All Time BEST Places To Meet Women

When dating, approaching girls can feel awkward and staged. When someone that is simply good with women approaches a girl, they do not have a scripted line all made up for them to say to a girl. They simply see a girl they like and they go over to talk to them. It can be frustrating to watch, but in the end, it’s something that even the most awkward guys can learn.

Have No Fear

The key to this is understanding why they have no fear to start flirting with ladies. Any fear that you have of talking to girls comes from approval seeking behavior that you also must abandon. People that are simply good with dating girls never seek or care about approval.

Related Posts

1. How To Be Naturally Good With Women
2. How To Approach Women Without Fear Of Rejection
3. How To Use Eye Contact To Approach Women
4. The 3 Deadly Mistakes Guys Make When They Approach Women
5. Dating Tips: How To Make The First Approach

What Can Be Reasonably Changed?

To be fair, are these changes in your partner something that can reasonably be fixed? If plastic surgery or expensive treatments are the only way to correct a problem, you are very likely being unreasonable. However, if the problem is that your partner’s weight has begun to rise drastically or she is actively doing something which affects her appearance (such as excessively tanning, not showering, or dressing differently), you might possibly have some sway in making a positive change. Simple suggestions like, “Remember how you used to wear your hair curly? I really liked that,” or “I think you would look just as good with pale skin as you do with orange, streaky skin” can be subtle, yet complimentary hints.

Weight issues can be trickier, especially with women. Many women will go from fine to hysterically and inconsolably crying at the mere suggestion of diet and exercise. Rather, take up hiking, bicycling or another physical hobby and ask if she would join you. Don’t pressure her, though, or she will see through your ploy. That being said, do not take up this hobby for the sole purpose of tricking her into slimming down. Do it for yourself, for your own health, and as a way to share something fun together.

How To Talk About It

As a last resort (and oh, how I emphasize that), gently point out that you have noticed a change in grooming or eating habits. Point out that you will love your partner no matter what, but you are starting to worry about what may be affecting these changes.

Nevertheless, the change that needs to take place may be your attitude. He may have decided that he wants to grow his hair long. She may feel the extra pounds accentuate her curves. People will change as they age. Love the person because of these changes, not in spite of them. Finally, cut your partner some slack; you are no Dorian Gray yourself.

Related Posts

1. Are Your Words Making You More Relationship Attractive?
2. 4 Financial Steps Towards Being More Relationship Attractive!
3. How To Manage Money Issues in a Loving Relationship
4. Dealing With Trust Issues For A Healthier Relationship
5. You Don’t Have to Wait for your Partner to Improve your Relationship

My desk is a great example of how things become so easily ignored – all around me are photos of the people who are important to me, trinkets that have some sentimental value, cards given to me by loved ones, a medallion that Mother Theresa blessed, a small statue of the Buddha, and so forth. And yet even right now, my focus will wander onto other things, and I’ll completely fail to see what’s right in front of me. However, it has to be said that I’ve come a long way – these days I don’t need the wake-up call as frequently as I used to, simply because I have stayed committed to being present and staying awake, and I’m thankful that I’ve been able to make progress on that front.

Awake!

But of course the reason I react so strongly to the familiar sirens now is because it’s personal for me – I used to be that person who stayed in the comfort zone until something came and forcibly shook me out of it from time to time. I was spiritually asleep, and these interruptions would suddenly show me the temporary and fragile nature of life. I would get a fleeting glimpse of what it was like to be awake, only to slip back into slumber again.

In the end, however, it’s these wake-up calls that have transformed me over time, and now that I know what to look for and how to respond, this has helped me stay awake for more of the time. If I have a day where I wake up feeling sore, it’s just my body telling me to take it easy for a day or so – it’s not a reason to complain or make excuses for my age. If I don’t always get what I want, rather than looking for someone to blame or playing the victim or doubting my competence, instead I just keep on living, knowing that good things are on their way, perhaps even better than what I originally asked for. When I lost my father to a heart attack, it became clear to me that I should never deny myself the opportunity to love, even when I have not been loved in the way I wanted. Unfortunately, that was a lesson learned the hard way.

I do sometimes think that I’d like staying awake to be easier, that it can be a hassle sometimes to have to constantly be vigilant and try to stay present for the important things. It’s like the old Zen tale of all the masters gathering to discuss where to hide the Key of Life. One suggests that they could hide it at the bottom of the ocean, but the others say it would be too easy to find there. Another suggests the top of a mountain, but again the others dismiss this option. Finally, after much discussion, they finally realize where the best place to hide the key is, the place where humans would never think to look - inside themselves.

Related Posts

1. Is There Such Thing As TOO MUCH Self-Help?
2. Find A Man Whose Breath Stops Short At The Sight Of You
3. Coping With Life After the Death of a Spouse
4. Don’t Let Sharing A Bed Ruin Your Relationship – Or Your Sleep!
5. Relationship Advice: How To Travel Together For The First Time

Question: What do you do when you tell her how you feel about her but she says you deserve someone better?

–YouTube Viewer

She’s Letting You Down Easy

Sometimes women find it difficult to let a guy down if she doesn’t return his feelings. She doesn’t want to hurt him, so she finds a way to blame herself instead of just saying that she doesn’t have romantic feelings for you. This may be the case if you’ve revealed your romantic feelings for her and she’s told you that you “deserve someone better.” She may be too afraid to tell you the truth.

She Has Poor Self Esteem

Many women have poor self esteem and if she’s told you that you deserve someone better than her, she may really believe it. She may feel like she’s worthless, or that she doesn’t deserve a healthy, happy relationship. There are many reasons that a woman may feel this way and it has nothing to do with you. She may have had self esteem issues for years, stemming from childhood. It may have to do with her parents or an old, abusive boyfriend. It may even be more than one issue that contributes to her self esteem issues. Regardless of where her poor self esteem stems from, the end result is the same – she can’t commit to a relationship or even begin dating someone because she doesn’t feel like she deserves it. It can be difficult though, to figure out whether she’s telling you that you deserve someone better because she has low self esteem or because she’s trying to let you down easy.

Ask Her To Be Honest With You

The only way to find out what her true motivations are in this situation is to ask her to be truthful with you. Don’t be angry or critical – just be open with her and encourage her to be open and honest with you as well. Tell her that no matter what, you won’t judge her for whatever is going on in her life. Let her know that even if she doesn’t return your romantic feelings and that’s why she told you that you deserve someone better, you’ll understand and that you can be friends if she wants or nothing at all. If she truly has poor self esteem, it’s important to let her know that you want to be there for her and that she’s worth a good relationship. She may not respond right away, but showing that you care for her may lead to a friendship which may turn into a romantic relationship at some point when she feels ready.

Related Posts

1. You Deserve The Truth…Now!
2. What Stories Are You Telling Yourself About Your Partner?
3. Q&A: What Went Wrong On The First Date
4. Break Up Confusion – Does She Really Want To Break Up With Me?
5. When Does Baggage Weigh Down Your Relationship?

Question: How do you get a girl if you don’t have much confidence in yourself? Do you think some one can find somebody if they don’t have any self confidence? How can you gain confidence to ask her out?

–YouTube Viewer

Believing In Yourself

Not having enough self confidence can be bad for you in more ways than just not being comfortable asking a girl out. Not having confidence in yourself will affect your job and your social life too. It’s important to have self confidence for a happy, successful life, in addition to having enough confidence to start dating. So it’s time to build yourself up. Start thinking about the great things about yourself rather than dwelling on all of your mistakes and wrongdoings. We all make mistakes, we’re human. Start figuring out what you like about yourself. Chances are, if you are confident enough to like something about yourself, other people will like it too.

Stop Seeking Outside Approval

People have a bad habit of seeking approval of themselves from others. Whether it’s your boss, your partner, your girlfriend or boyfriend or your spouse, people seek their approval before approving themselves. That’s absolutely backwards! You have to approve of yourself and be comfortable with yourself first before anyone else will approve of you. If you continue seeking outside approval of yourself, you’ll never get it. Start by looking within for self acceptance, so you can start to like yourself and be at peace with yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

Practice Makes Perfect

There’s nothing you have to lose if you ask a girl out and she says no. You’re just right back where you started. Frustrating as it is, it’s not a good reason to be shy and avoid asking girls out. You’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out until you practice doing it first! So maybe you don’t want to practice on the girl, but why not head up a bar or coffee shop and ask a girl out there, just to do it? She might say no, but at least you’ll have gotten some experience asking her out. You can also get over your shyness with girls by hanging out with them. Get to know the female species and what they’re all about. Girls can be difficult to understand, but by hanging out with them, you can get to know what they like and what they don’t like and you’ll get more comfortable just simply being around them. Also, if you’re too shy to ask a girl out, just go up to her and ask a question. Start a conversation. It doesn’t have to end in a date, but if you don’t go up and talk to her, it’s going to end in nothing at all. Girls love to talk and have conversations, especially if you’re the one asking her questions.

Related Posts

1. Build Self Confidence And Get The Girl
2. Easy Tips For Building Confidence
3. The Secrets Of True Sexual Confidence
4. Confidence Is Nature’s Best Aphrodisiac
5. The Attraction of Confidence – Why Women Are Attracted To Confident Men

For some of us the ritual of setting New Year’s resolutions is an attempt to temporarily assuage the harsh reality of our lifestyle, for others a gleeful renunciation of inconsequential nonsense because…we can. Yet statistics show us that an overwhelming 40% of folks who resolve to better themselves actually achieve their goals! Here are some helpful tips from an enthusiastic veteran of this annual tradition that can help you succeed, too!

 How To Succeed This Year

1) First, you may want to review your last attempt at setting your intentions. Were you successful? Why, or why not? Setting achievable goals is an art. Anyone can set them, but is a different thing all together to achieve them.

2) Want it, bad! I notice when I pick something I want to exclude, heal or change about myself or my life, I am almost always successful when I really and truly want it! Therefore, I am willing to stretch myself and do what it takes to make it happen. So you gotta ask yourself, how much do you really want it?

3) Make a public declaration! You don’t need to alert the press (unless, of course, you feel the need), but you might want to gather a few friends (one could work) and declare your resolve. Surrounding yourself with supportive people is an essential part of any success; always has been, and, as far as I can see, always will be. Got cheerleaders? If not, get some!

4) Post your goals where you can see them! For something to become a habit it takes 40 days of repetition. Put ‘em in a place you will see, until they become as habitual as brushing your teeth. Good idea, put ‘em on your tooth brush. Get creative. My girlfriend gave me a teddy bear with a timer to help me take timeouts!

5) Get back on the horse! Just do it! Look, no one is perfect, and this is never the objective. It’s about practice, about replacing self-defeating habits and behavior with juicy, practical alternatives that move you towards thriving. So, you fall off the horse, brush yourself off and get back on! The sooner, the better. Don’t waste your time beating yourself up. There is no proof that it helps, and is usually a unproductive waste of time!

6) Half time! Mark your calendar/iPhone/whatever, six months out to check in with yourself! Heck, mark your calendar every month with a pop-up, but set it up in advance. Especially if you’re like me, I love little surprises that remind me to feel good about myself!

7) Reward yourself! You deserve it! Think of something that will motivate you throughout the year. Something you want for yourself or maybe your children. Maybe start a retirement or money-market account with all the money you are saving by not buying cigarettes or by partying less. Whatever helps motivate you in healthy ways!

And, in case you were wondering, yes, I have been less judgmental, and am doing my damndest to take everything (including myself) less seriously! As I speak I am sitting in Carmel Valley just overlooking the ocean, about to take a walk with my husband and our dog, Bella, our treat to ourselves for a job well done in 2009.

Related Posts

1. How You Can Make 2007 Your Best Year Ever – Even if You Have No Idea Where to Get Started…
2. Are You Setting Yourself Up For Heartache With Unrealistic Dating Expectations?
3. Can a Relationship That Starts Out as an Affair Succeed?
4. Dating and Relationship Advice – Can You Use the Law of Attraction to Find True Love?
5. Are You In A Relationship With A Boy, A Guy Or A Man?

The Pursuit Of Happiness

To Hell with it! We say, “Life is short and I need a reward for all this vigilance and self-examination, pass the Kool-Aid.” So, we continue the search, now seeking elsewhere for guidance, and perhaps decide Popeye was right, that we are what we are, and get on with life.

We manage to skate for a while on our latest distractions: a new love interest, new job, new cosmetic procedure, sudden influx of cash, new handbag or project. Yet the gap between how we act and who we are widens, and no matter what we tell ourselves, eventually the suffering returns, most of it silent. And we wonder why. So we look for more, more, MORE! For Gods sakec THIS IS AMERICA! The pursuit of happiness is my birthright!

Doing As You’re Told

But much of it is a facade. According to scientists, our daily behavior is 90% subconscious. From years one to five a projection reel spliced with trauma, false beliefs and genetic inheritance has been cast upon our nubile brains: the reel continually spins out our reality, like the daily press, in predictable neural loops over our lifetime. It seems who we are is simply who someone else (they) told us to be. Most of us were duped and now are understandably pissed!

While you may be tired, overwhelmed and have no bandwidth right now as survival is taking its toll, here is an exercise that may help you reignite your search for freedom of being, as well as put some pep back in your step. The energy it takes to pretend to be someone you are not, to be fake, is extraordinary.

What Is Fake About Me?

1. Get a piece of paper and write down all the things that are fake about you (you may burn after reading, of course). Examples might be that you are:

• Fake skinny – you spend an inordinate amount of time watching your weight so that people will find you attractive or so you will feel loved or seen. You fear that if you were fat you would never be happy, popular, get a man, be loved or accepted.
• Fake nice – you spend much of your time trying to make people like you, manipulating your circumstances by being nice so you can get what you want, while underneath you seethe with resentment or envy of those who dont seem to care what others think.
• Fake rich – you pretend to be successful, you have mortgaged your life so others will think you are a person of worth, you lease your car that you cannot afford, buy clothes to create a false image, live in a house beyond your means, etc.

You get the idea, go ahead and explore all the fake parts: Let it out. You have an opportunity to relieve yourself of the burden of living this secret life by simply admitting it!

2. Be with it. Sit down with what’s fake about you and move deeper into it. Exaggerate it, even. Give it a voice. Let the fake part or parts have a turn telling you about themselves. You might be surprised at what they have to say!

3. Feel it. Whatever feeling or emotions come, let yourself have them. Like a wave, they will not hurt you; they will wash through you and heal you if you have the courage to feel them all the way. (It could be helpful to have an enlightened witness to share this part of the process with, someone you trust to your core.)

4. Allow it. Relaxing into this allowing, comes freedom. In the acceptance comes understanding and then compassion. Including all our parts allows us greater freedom of being. Developing unconditional love for ourselves expands our capacity for intimacy and joy.

5. Know this is not all of who you are. I feel relieved and all at once welcomed back to the human race and condition. We find our right size again. This perspective gives space for a sense of peace and well-being, room to breathe and dream forward your hearts true desires again. Your soul shines, your authentic self is free to be!

Related Posts

1. Getting Past The Fake On The Path To Self Actualization
2. Can A Guy Fake An Orgasm?
3. How To Fake An Orgasm – He’ll Never Know
4. Online Dating Question – How Can You Spot a Fake Online Profile?
5. 5 Reasons Why Women Fake Orgasms

“Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part.” – Aimee Mullins

I remember as a teenager, being so self-absorbed, hoping my Prince Charming would come along and rescue me from my life as I knew it! One day I read an article in a woman’s magazine about my very predicament. This article informed me that there was no way Prince Charming was going to come rescue me. He wasn’t going to do it because sad, pouting women are not appealing to any Prince Charming.

You Won’t Catch A Prince By Being A Sad, Pouting Princess

This was before the self-help field and resources burst upon the scene. Within a handful of years, the same article would have communicated that any man who did rescue a sad, pouting woman likely had issues of his own. The pair would create a dysfunctional union sure to self-destruct in time.

All I know is that article was one of the things I’ve read in my life that turned my life around. I wish I’d kept it so I could thank the author. I must have instinctively understood what she meant and got busy becoming a funny and flirtatious young woman, allowing my sense of humor and easy laughter to dominate my interactions with people. It didn’t make me any less serious. When I hurt, I allowed myself to process what hurt. When I was angry, I dealt with it. I simply quit taking myself so seriously that I was getting in my own way of having a fun and rewarding youth.

I have kept that advice close to my heart, allowing it to inform my life ever since. From having sweet boyfriends in high school and college to attracting my husband to making friends and getting along well with acquaintances and strangers, generally content and happy people attract good stuff from other people.

Confidence Can Help You Avoid Bad Relationships

In my early thirties, I did get into a rut with a destructive relationship that eventually found me in a low grade depression for a number of years. During that time, the happy version of me was more of a comfortable mask as the relationship tore at my self-esteem, wearing down my confidence.

Towards the end of that phase of my life, I realized something that turned my life around once again. Perhaps because the relationship wasn’t serving me, I found myself studying and admiring other men. With those who were in relationships, I’d study and admire their women as well. Whether it was a Hollywood couple or the couple next door, I think I was looking for answers to my problems in the success other seemed to find.

My observations taught me something precious that goes along with the “Prince Charming likes a happy, confidant woman” thing. I learned that confidence is sexy. I mean it is the sexiest attribute a person can own! Confidence can turn less than attractive looks and turn them into glorious imperfections that you can’t wait to get close to!

Confidence Is A Turn On

Think about it. Patricia Arquette has those adorable crooked teeth. When is her smile the most appealing? Whenever she radiates confidence. Consider Hollywood’s leading men. Any number of them you would not find nearly as handsome without their delicious confidence in tact. Will Smith has funny ears. Who cares? His confidence is so attractive! Christian Bale is a perfect example. He’s played roles where he was insecure, even a little psychotic as well as roles where he exuded confidence. As Batman he is drop dead sexy. It goes far beyond the body building. It’s the confidence. In the roles where he is convincingly insecure, he doesn’t look like someone you want to get close to.

Personally, the chemistry between my husband, Joseph, and me when one or both of us is feeling especially confident; even if we come off a little cocky, is palatably richer. Because the chemistry is good, period; the fact that I can tell that confidence still makes a difference is convincing enough to me that I’m on to something here.

Besides, remember I told you about that destructive relationship where I wound up in a low grade depression? When I began practicing confidence, both the depression and the relationship unraveled, freeing me to have a new life where I got to attract Joseph. I highly recommend confidence as an aphrodisiac and general life enhancer!

Related Posts

1. Q&A: How To Gain The Confidence To Ask A Girl Out
2. How To Ignite A Spark In Your Relationship With Confidence
3. The Secrets Of True Sexual Confidence
4. Easy Tips For Building Confidence
5. Build Self Confidence And Get The Girl

The diet I’m talking about isn’t one that’s related to food or exercise at all, but it will help build your self-esteem and miraculously make you feel better about who you are and what you have. Sound too good to be true? As I’ve said before, there’s no quick fix to create a healthy relationship with yourself or to cure all of your past ills, but there is a course of action you can take that will exponentially increase your self-health.

Are You Being Tricked?

Let me start with a story from my past. When I was younger, my girlfriends and I would spend many a summer day with our bodies slathered in Bain de Soliel (or baby oil if we couldn’t afford that), our faces buried in Cosmo or Vogue, ogling and studying our role models; the emaciated rich. Believing what we saw was real, closing the magazines feeling imperfect and fat yet determined to figure out how to get what they had. A life other than our own. It seemed possible. Why shouldn’t we trust what we saw? It was everywhere; skinny, happy, rich people who wore designer clothes and had passionate relationships.
Little did we know – or, perhaps, did we WANT to know – there was a group of people who had concocted it all, a select group of sleazy, greedy, very clever soul-sucking vampires who day in and day out preyed on people just like us.

At age 14, I put two and two together, and realized that every time I turned on the TV or opened a magazine, afterwards I felt bad about myself, however subtly. The net effect was, I was being hoodwinked or lured to believe I should be, better, cooler, prettier, skinner; something other than me. Interesting how some things never change. But I can – and here was the solution I came up with.

The Ultimate Cleanse:

The bad news may be that the soul suckers lured you in, they sold it, you bought it and you, too, are addicted to being externally referenced. The good news is: The jig is up. Yes, it’s all a big lie. But there is a cure and it’s as simple as, 1-2-3.

1. Turn off your idiot box (TV)
2. Don’t buy any more rags (trash or fashion magazines)
3. Stop paying attention to what other people are doing and focus on yourself!

Being internally referenced is the foundation for all my work. That, and a solid relationship with spirit and your inner divine guidance, and you are all set. You already have everything you need; you have been give the greatest gift of all and it’s staring you right in the face. YOU. Jim Rohn, a well-known motivational speaker, once gave me this advice: “Stop building someone else’s dream!” And I say to you, turn off the TV and shut out the media vultures. Stop taking the bait! Build your own dreams. I promise, you will be glad you did! Your own life is precious and very real. And you are indeed PERFECT as you are.

Try the ultimate cleanse for a month. You will feel better, be more focused, have more time, and be all that closer to turning your heart’s greatest desire into REALITY!

Related Posts

1. Dating and Relationship Advice – Can You Use the Law of Attraction to Find True Love?
2. Are You In A Relationship With A Boy, A Guy Or A Man?
3. Can Your Friends Or Lovers Be Holding You Back?
4. Great Relationships Begin Within!
5. The Truth About What Makes Men So Alluring

 What Neglect Really Is

As soon as the instantaneous experience ended, I knew I had to write my next article for AskDanandJennifer.com about neglect in a relationship, the various ways it can look, with encouragement for you to take a stand for yourself if you ever find yourself in the position of being neglected by someone you love. You are worthy of being loved. Neglect is not an expression of love.

I will mention straight up that I know I usually bring a certain amount of levity and humor to my articles. I think that most of us could stand to lighten up a bit and enjoy the journey called romance. This subject, however, is serious because neglect is abusive. In the scheme of abusive behaviors, it is so “soft” an abuse that it is easy to ignore.

I do not know what causes people to neglect those they love. I have only ever been on the receiving end of it. If I neglect someone, it is because I have decided I no longer want that person in my life. Chances are I have already said “good-bye” and neglect becomes a natural part of no longer attending to that relationship. However, I know that there are those who neglect the ones they love and they do it frequently. When I was on the receiving end of neglect, I clearly understood that it was the other person who held all the power in the relationship. He could make me feel small, insignificant, and incapable of defending myself by simply ignoring me.

Neglect As A Form Of Control?

So, perhaps those who use neglect as a weapon against those they love do so in order to feel powerful and in control. Neglect could even be a way for one person to dominate another. It is an insidious and ugly way to exercise control over another person. It is possible it is a tactic for domination.

I believe that there are people who use neglect as a weapon and as punishment who would fight you if you suggested they did not truly love the person they punish in this way. I believe these people are confused by and conflicted about their behavior. I believe they were badly hurt as children and youth, discovering neglect as a survival tool. They probably do not know how to love any other way. However, neglect is not an act of love and if you are on the receiving end of it, you have the right to understand and act on the truth that you are worthy of better expressed love than that.

Both women and men are inclined to remain in relationships that hurt when they do not have the self-esteem to know they deserve better. If you are on the receiving end of neglect, you likely feel the pain and know the history that drives your lover’s behavior. You likely feel sorry for him or her and would rather stay in the relationship with the hope that you can make a difference in his or her life. I challenge you to look at this way of thinking as an excuse to stay put in a relationship that reinforces your belief that you are not worthy of better love than this.

Loving Yourself As A Cure

Neglect can take on many forms. It can be a lover who looks at you in disdain whenever he or she feels disappointed by you. You experience neglect when he or she is rude or disrespectful of you on a regular basis, whether publicly, privately, or both. When he or she routinely seeks out the company of others, leaving you behind without taking your feelings or desires into account, this is neglect. If he or she withholds sex, refusing to address or acknowledge the problem, this is neglect of the worst sort.

I cannot convince you in an article to love yourself more deeply, intimately, and fiercely! There comes a day in everyone’s life when it all comes down to you. The need for love of self is one of those “it all comes down to you” things. Usually, it is the painful parts of life that drive you to your knees, forcing you to make the choice to love you no matter what.

Love doesn’t hurt. If someone is hurting you in any way, even if it is the “soft” hurt of neglect, take a good long look at the dynamics in your relationship and determine what is best for you. You cannot make your lover change. You can only change yourself. And you can only change yourself once you love yourself enough to know you deserve love that feels good, right, safe, and pure.

Related Posts

1. Understanding The Difference Between Getting Love And Sharing Love
2. Relationship Happiness When The Love Of Your Life Hasn’t Shown Up Yet!
3. Don’t Lose Yourself To Get Love
4. A Man’s Love Is Expressed Differently From A Woman’s Love
5. What the World Needs Now, is Love, Sweet Love…

Looking For Self-Help?

I had it all – from the esoteric to Far East philosophies to New Age modalities and even the dead: Kierkegaard, Swedenborg, Kant, Borges. And I didn’t stop there: I devoured books on sex, business, the inner workings of the mind and ecstatic dance. If it was nonfiction and said “help” ANYWHERE in or on the book, I READ IT! I was on a path (with frequent intermissions) to find out EXACTLY how to be free and NOT suffer unless absolutely necessary. Spoiler alert: I ended up finding what I was looking for, but not in the way I thought I would. As you might imagine, I was over-loaded, and this form of my quest came to an abrupt halt at 33. I had crossed a line.

And funnily enough, just prior to that I had asked myself—or rather, I heard that still small voice that I hear and know as the Great Divine inside of me say… “Maryanne…dear. Can it be, after so many years of relentless pursuit of the internal fortress you seek, that the answer does not lie somewhere in even one of these books?”

When Self-Help Lies Within Yourself

I was actually embarrassed, because in all this time it was like that notion had been too simple to even cross my mind. Yet in that moment, I realized how truly profound it was. When you come down to it, awakening and staying awake is not a new concept. Yes, we are complicated beings, but many great people have devoted their lives to taking on the complex material of spiritual laws and have done a really tremendous job of breaking it down for us. Yet there I was, face-to-face with a question that led me across the abyss of awareness – KNOWING all the stuff that was in all those books didn’t really help me at all! – to transformation.

It was time, at last, to take all “I knew” and actually create a practice. You see, I had become addicted to the buzz. A self-help junkie. And why not? I am pretty sure that of all my addictions this one actually paid off! But like all things the time had come for me to fish or cut bait. Change or die—well, I wanted to die, anyway.

Don’t Force It – It Will Come Naturally!

SO – I woke up! Yup. Just like that. For me it took what it took, and, like all of us on a path, it takes what it takes – we can’t force it, and we can’t expect it. It just happens.. So could it be that had I read one book fewer I would have had my awakening, being delivered from suffering? Would I not have found that which I had sought my entire life? I can never know, it seems.

What I do know is that when asked the question: “What do you want? And what are you willing to do about it?” The answer for me was simple. I wanted true freedom of being and freedom from suffering. I said a prayer. “God, please show me the way!” And I woke up. But not before I had spent almost twenty years trying everything else!

Related Posts

1. The One Thing All Women Should Know About Talking To Men
2. The People You Love – Giving The Benefit Of The Doubt Even When It Feels Like The Last Thing You Want To Do
3. Can A Break Up Actually Be A Good Thing?
4. Are You In A Relationship With A Boy, A Guy Or A Man?
5. Can Your Friends Or Lovers Be Holding You Back?

What Is A Love Map?

And I strongly recommend you learn what your love map looks like – Intimately! Otherwise you end up falling victim to the unconscious loop that most of us repeat over and over, and NOT in a good way. Here are some fateful patterns I’ve seen far too often: you always attract people who cheat, are narcissists, are abusive, have no drive, are alcoholic or addicted to pornography, or perhaps they just can’t seem to tell the truth about anything (especially when it comes to where they have been and who with); and the list literally goes on and on.

Making the distinction between who I am being (my persona or inauthentic self) and my true self (or authentic self) is the first step in the process of awakening, which leads to the eventual shift from unconsciously and reflexively choosing the same type of relationship over and over again.

Over the last 25 years of working in the personal development industry I have learned some amazing things, some absolutely life-altering truths that have become creed because they were ultimately irrefutable (true whether or not I believed them).

What Is NOT Love?

Few rival my understanding of what love is NOT:

Chemistry is not love. Chemistry is…well…chemistry.

Desire is not love. Hmmm, yeah, it’s more like being addicted to the feeling of wanting something you can’t have, so you set yourself up again and again to feel it!

Longing is also not love!

Feeling lovesick isn’t love either. Confusing this with love most likely can be traced back to a love map laced with abandonment issues.

Infatuation, often confused with love, is a strong psychological projection onto the love object.

Lust, hmmm, a biological function designed to procreate. (Period.)

Abuse, definitely NOT. Usually a direct connection to our low- or no-self-esteem!

Neglect, no, not love either. There’s always time for some loving exchange!

Indifference. Ouch. Nope. Not likely. More likely booty call, or they’re just not into you at all!

Making Better Choices

For me, making this/these distinctions saved me a whole hellavalotta heart ache. I learned to make better choices and found that I respected myself even more when I focused on what was real and authentic about myself, rather than focusing on trying to figure out who you wanted or needed me to be. At first, like with many things, I had a tough time believing this was true and still find I can get caught in that trap. But overall, this awareness makes it possible for us to attract and create a healthy, loving relationship rather than one based on deserve and reward.

Related Posts

1. Q&A: Do You Lose Your Friends When You Fall In Love?
2. How to ‘Lose’ a Taurus Man
3. Q&A: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Lose Her Virginity
4. First Time Sex Tips – How To Lose Your Virginity In Style
5. A Man’s Love Is Expressed Differently From A Woman’s Love

Related Posts

1. Is Your Single Behavior Sabotaging A Possible Relationship?
2. ‘Am I Too Fat To Be Loved?’ – How Being Overweight Affects Your Relationships
3. Relationships Don’t Have To Be Hard
4. How to Keep a “Financial 9/11” From Interfering In Your Relationships
5. Happy Relationships: How To Replace Fear And Doubt With Gratitude, Love and Trust

All too often, we react emotionally to what others say or do. If our reactions are preceded by the emotions of fear, anger, or sadness, we forfeit our ability to act with personal power and effectiveness in lieu of a knee-jerk response.

The emotional reaction

This reaction is all too often sourced in fear and low self-esteem. We may focus on what’s wrong with us and our lives, fear being controlled, hurt, or taken advantage of.

We may overlook the many things we have in our lives for which we should rightly be grateful, doubt our ability to thrive and access the abundance we see all around us in the world, reacting instead from the concern of scarcity and the expectation of failure, hurt, and disappointment.

We may see ourselves in competition for the world’s resources and the love and attention of others rather than realizing that there is more than enough of all that is good to go around. We forget that we manifest what we expect rather than needing to compete for limited resources.

Whenever we forget that we are magnificent beings and that there is plenty of wealth, happiness, fun, and fulfillment to go around, we might feel the need to protect ourselves from what we perceive to be a dangerous world. We likewise tend to forget that others operate from the same lacking self-confidence, scarcity of gratitude, and deficient self-love that we often do.

The result of not seeing ourselves as good enough

So, whenever two or more individuals see themselves as not good enough to tap into the world’s abundance and get all their needs met from a physical, social, mental, and emotional perspective, conflicts are likely to arise.

The result is broken relationships, strained communication, emotional pain, struggle, and suffering. All of these are needless and optional for those who realize their ability to detach from the struggle and master their emotional response.

When we stop to realize that everyone else suffers from the same self-doubt and fear of being dominated and cheated out of getting their fair share of love, fun, money, possessions, and security, we can break the vicious cycle of endless competition and continual striving for domination.

Breaking the cycle

We can realize that cooperation and communication is more effective in producing harmony than competition and a focus on self-interest based on fear.

We can intentionally choose to trust that others are doing the best they know how to do based upon how they see the world. We can assume that they act from good intentions, even when we fear the opposite.

Creating win-win relationships

We can hold them as worthy, competent, loving, good natured and capable of creating win-win relationships rather than fearing them as hateful, ill meaning, incompetent, unworthy, selfish opponents.

When we decide to champion others by looking for the best in them and interact with them out of an attitude of gratitude for their gifts, strengths, and positive qualities, in such as manner that they are clear that we hold them as intrinsically good and worthy of our love and respect, we provide for them a new and exciting opportunity for them to show up for us in this manner.

Our decision to hold others as great (because they really are when we strip away their anger, fears, and insecurities) allows them the freedom to rise to our expectations.

By operating from love and gratitude for the wisdom and empathy we develop as a result of our interactions with others, we see their mistakes as temporary indiscretions producing valuable lessons from which to learn and grow rather than reflections of a fundamentally defective being.

The key to bringing out the best in others is non-attachment. When we realize that we have total control over our response to any situation, and we give up our right to be invalidated by others or control them, we will possess a newfound freedom that allows us to exit the drama of conflict in favor of understanding, compassion, and love.

Decide now to be grateful for the challenges you will encounter in your life and business. See the problems that arise as opportunities for your personal development. Look for these challenges as you go about your day, be grateful when you encounter them, and seek out the gifts awaiting your discovery.

Challenges to look for

Exercise for Expanding Gratitude and Shifting Your Reactive Nature

List all the things you have decided to be grateful for in your life and business.

In your daily journal, record each time you fail to express gratitude for a challenging situation.

Catch yourself reacting emotionally to what someone says or does and shift your perception in that moment to appreciate the learning experience at hand.

In your daily life and business, who are you not holding as magnificent?

How can you champion their excellence and express gratitude for the opportunity to grow in love and wisdom that they are gifting you instead of reacting with anger, sadness, or fear?

Who are you seeking to control or avoid being controlled by? Will you take on the practice of non-attachment in your relationship with them by creating space for them to be who they are?

Do this for 30 days and record in your journal how your interactions with them evolve. Make note of something that you can be grateful for in each situation.

Related Posts

1. It’s OK to Trust: How You Can Overcome The Fear of Intimacy
2. The People You Love – Giving The Benefit Of The Doubt Even When It Feels Like The Last Thing You Want To Do
3. How Men Can Create Healthy And Happy Relationships
4. Still Living In The Past? How To Let Go Of Past Relationships And Be Happy Now…
5. Trust And Ultimatums – Can I Trust Her?

Well,  “ What can I do or say to make myself look attractive to this other person?” for one.

In words you are likely thinking more of creating an image of yourself that is other than your true authentic  self. Why is that?

Are You Comfortable With You?

If you reflect on this you may find that you’re not completely comfortable with who “you” are. It’ sad to say  but most individuals find themselves in this situation. Hence they find themselves  “putting on a mask” or another way of saying this is “playing games” that in truth are manipulative.

Why manipulative? Well, because by playing such games you are trying to get the other person to believe that you are someone other than who you are. In other words, you are lying to them as well as to yourself.

How Do You Feel?

Now stop for a moment and notice how that realization makes you feel about yourself? Not good I would imagine.

Would it therefore surprise you if I said that the negative feelings about one’s self  that cause them to pretend to be someone else in part originate in the “game playing” behavior they choose to adopt.

So it’s a bit of a vicious cycle i.e. the game playing makes one feel bad about one’s self and the feeling bad about one’s self leads to the need to pretend to be someone else and hence more game playing!

Is There A Way Out Of The Cycle

So is one forever destined to be caught in this loop or is there a way out?

Well indeed there is a way out and this will allow you to begin to feel at home in your own skin as what I call your True Authentic  Self. This is an experience of self that is associated with self confidence, self esteem, honesty, inner peace and calm, resilience, joy, contentment, clarity, feeling totally alive, spontaneity and much more.

At the root of breaking out of the negative loop I mentioned above and achieving this new state of being is a new process I developed over 10 years ago called the Mind Resonance Process®(MRP). Let me orient you to the MRP experience briefly here.

One of the reasons why game playing takes place is because of a poor self image which results from having been rejected, humiliated , embarrassed or shamed in early life. If you have had such an experience I ask you to recall it briefly right now.

The Memory

Let’s call this experience “My  Memory of Poor Self Image”.

What is the benefit to you of having this memory stored inside you? Initially you may say “nothing” however I ask you to reflect on this for a moment.  Although there may be many reasons you can come up with I will choose a common one for illustration purposes which I’m sure you’ll resonate with.

So a primary reason that might make the Memory beneficial is that it teaches you to avoid exposing yourself in ways that could potentially lead to a repeat scenario.

Hence one could conclude that the Memory has some protective purpose i.e. it protects you from getting hurt once again.

If this is so then one should be feeling safe, secure, calm, self assured, relaxed, content, peaceful and resilient in one’s interaction with others as a result of having the Memory “on board” so to speak.

Is that however the case? Well of course not because whenever you think about the Memory (and even when you don’t because it’s always inside you, isn’t it?) it makes you feel anxious, poorly about yourself, unattractive, defective or deficient, less than others, afraid of being exposed or found out,  and so on.

Hence the Memory is toxic to you, correct?

So that makes the conclusion above that “the Memory  causes you to feel safe, secure, calm, self assured, relaxed, content, peaceful and resilient in one’s interaction with others” is false.

Release The False Belief

So if you wish to release this false belief from within you (and I suggest you try this to experience the effect) then simply ask as if speaking from your heart that it be permanently released from your life now.

Next, if you wish, ask that the Memory itself be released from your life.

Finally, envision and feel how you would rather be in your interactions with others and if that feels good to you then assert to yourself that this is where you’d rather be.

Notice now how you feel. If you’ve followed me so far I know that you will be feeling better about yourself and within yourself than you have in a long time.

Related Posts

1. Playing Mind Games in Love and Sex – Should You Really Do it?
2. Are You Playing The Blame Game? Do Any Of These Situations Sound Familiar?
3. Can I Trust Her Or Is She Playing Me For A Fool?
4. Glass Sex Toys: Playing With Fire And Ice
5. My Man Plays Video Games ALL The Time! Help!