How To Talk Yourself Out Of A Depression – Before You Talk Yourself Out Of A Relationship

Alan B. Densky, CH — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 01:30:35 +0000

Sure, everyone gets down from time to time, and their friends try to cheer them up. But what happens when you get down and just can’t be cheered up, or your friends seem to start spending all their time trying to cheer you up? Pretty soon, your friends start finding other things to do, and stop hanging out with you.

The same thing happens in a relationship. Everyone has a bad day now and then but, if you start having bad days all the time, people get tired of trying to cheer you up, and they move on to other relationships that are more fulfilling and less depressing.

Stop The Depression Before They Stop You

If you have finally found that person you’ve spent your life dreaming about, you want to learn how to get control over your moods, and stop being depressed, before that special someone decides to stop seeing you!

Wouldn’t it be phenomenal if you could control or get rid of depression just by having certain thoughts? I know that this might sound too simple, but very frequently; many types of depression are simply caused by thinking negative thoughts. If you can control the thoughts, you can control the depression. It really is that simple!

Skeptical? Try This…

Don’t believe me? Then test it out! It’s easy to try this out for yourself and see that it really works. Just imagine something that you find to be very sad or troubling. Go ahead, think about it right now! Then return to this article.

Okay, so what happened? If you did what I asked you to do, and tried to visualize the situation clearly, you started to feel unhappy and a little depressed. And the more you allow yourself to stay in that pattern of thought, the sadder you will feel. As you stay in those thoughts and continue feeling sadder, you lead yourself into a gradually intensifying depression.

Displace the Sadness With Happy Memories

The good news, though, is that if you think about a happy memory, then you will displace that sadness and depression and replace it with happy feelings.

Please pay close attention now, because here are the keys to ending your depression: Our most persistent thoughts spring forth from the unconscious mind. These are the thoughts that we find ourselves naturally thinking about throughout the day.

If the persistent thoughts that are continually recurring in your mind are about your sad experiences or problems, then you intensify your levels of depression, anxiety, and stress.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

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‘Am I Too Fat To Be Loved?’ – How Being Overweight Affects Your Relationships

Alan B. Densky, CH — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:05:23 +0000

Thanks to skimpy clothing styles and anorexic magazine models being touted as the way that people are supposed to look, in our culture, being overweight can be the kiss of death to singles trying to find a mate, as well as to couples who are trying to put the spark back into their love lives.

Everyone is trying to diet so that they can be slim, sexy, desirable, and find love. In their search for love, singles often post profiles on Internet dating sites. As part of their profile, they routinely post 10+ year old pictures of when they were much thinner. And it is also common for them to miss-state their weight by 30 or more pounds.

But none of this is much help at convincing someone to instantly fall in love with them. That’s because when they eventually meet for dinner, a drink, or a cup of coffee, the truth is revealed.

Being Overweight is a Behavior?

Being on a diet is neither a pleasant nor natural way of life. Even though scientists tell us that all of the popular diets work and will make you lose weight, no one seems to be able to stick to them, for many complex psychological reasons. What many people don’t understand is that our unconscious mind compels us into behaviors that will benefit and protect us. And being overweight can be one of those behaviors.

When I tell that to clients, most of them respond with a look of "you ain’t playing with a full deck, you must be crazy, not me!" on their faces. Then they try to lecture me that I must be wrong, because being overweight is not a behavior; it is just the result or outcome of overeating.

Unfortunately they are wrong. Often being overweight is the result of emotional eating. Emotional eating takes place when a person is motivated to make him or herself fat, because by being fat they will protect themselves in some way.

How Eating Becomes Emotional

For example, if a person got their heart broken in a relationship, their unconscious might motivate them into a behavior that would prevent them from getting their heart broken again. In this example they are motivated to get fat to keep them out of another relationship, because that will eliminate the possibility of another broken heart.

The reverse can also be true. Someone involved in an unhappy marriage might unconsciously motivate himself or herself to become fat to keep them in the marriage for the sake of the children, or because they are afraid of being alone. As a matter of fact, there are as many different possible benefits that one can obtain from being fat as there are overweight people.

What Else Affects It?

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