Ask Dan and Jennifer » sex advice

Q&A: MILF Fantasy – I Want To Have Sex With My Step-Mom!

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 14:00:27 +0000

A MILF fantasy is actually quite common – there are many guys out there that either have or had a really hot step-mother who they couldn’t help but be attracted to! Of course it’s inappropriate, but lots of guys experience it. Most of the time, it passes and nothing more is ever said about it. But just what do you do when all you can think about is getting it on with your stepmother?

Question: I have a fantasy of having sex with my step mom. Almost every day she wears these pants that when she bends over you can see her ass perfectly, and my urges keep getting more and more frequent! I’ve gone to many other people, all with no help. She is also about to get breast implants, so that makes it all the worse! Your videos have helped me out a lot, so please help me on this one!

–YouTube Viewer

A MILF Fantasy Is Perfectly Normal

Boys, especially those going through puberty, are going to be attracted to random hot women, possibly all hot women. If your stepmother is hot, it’s not out of the ordinary that you would have a sexual fantasy about her! Lots of guys have gone through or are going through the same thing. You’re just attracted to a hot woman who just happens to be your step-mother. You don’t have to make it any more complicated than that.

Acting On Your Fantasy

While a MILF fantasy is actually very common, it’s not one that you can act on. Even if you’re over the age of eighteen and you and your step-mother are both consenting, you’re still going to hurt a lot of people if you make that decision. Your family would likely be very hurt and feel very betrayed if you and your step-mother got it on.

If you’re under age, that’s a whole different ball game – things could be much worse if you did anything about your fantasy. Also, it’s likely that your step-mother most absolutely does not share this fantasy, and you could damage your relationship with her and the rest of your family if you tell her that you think about her sexually.

You can’t help that you’re having this fantasy, so what do you do? If you end up masturbating every day while thinking about your step-mother, you’re not going to be the first guy that has ever done that. Masturbation is an excellent relief for fantasies that you just can’t be a part of in real life. However, if you actually act on your fantasy, you could be crossing a line that you can never un-cross.

Consider Counseling

If your MILF fantasy really bothers you and you just can’t get away from it (and you really want to) consider counseling. There’s nothing wrong with seeing an unbiased counselor or third party that can help you talk through your feelings and problems. People put so much stigma on going to a therapist – especially for sex related issues – but if you want to get to the root of the problem, therapy is about as good as it gets.

Don’t think that seeing a therapist automatically makes you a weaker guy. What counseling can do is help you talk through your issues and learn the tools you need to become a better person and live a happier, more fulfilled life. On a side note, talking to your step-mother about this fantasy of yours is probably not a good idea.

Redirect That Energy Elsewhere

If counseling isn’t something you can or want to do, think about ways you can redirect this energy. Think about what it is about your step-mother that turns you on so much. Is it her physique? Perhaps she has a nice butt or legs that just won’t quit. If you can isolate just what it is about her that turns you on, you can redirect that energy to adult films and magazines that feature women with large butts, long legs, or whatever it is that you think turns you on the most.

Even if you can’t find something in particular, there is surely going to be another girl you find attractive. Exploring magazines, websites, films and art can help you find other women to look at that also turn you on. If you’re old enough and dating is an option, get more social and talk to girls.

You may be attracted to your step-mother’s personality, simply because you haven’t been close or conversed much to other women. Dating can help you redirect your energy into finding a girl that you’re attracted to that you can get to know without the repercussions that getting involved with your step-mother would bring.

The 3 Biggest Female Turn-Offs In Bed

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 14:00:18 +0000

Most sex advice will tell you how to turn a woman ON, but not what you need to avoid. Most of the time, sex advice will go on about techniques to please a woman, but they fail to tell you what not to do to keep her from throwing you off her and walking out the door. Steer clear of these three major issues women have with guys during sex and you’re home free.

Every Woman Is Different

There are tons of different turn-ons and turn offs when it comes to women. Each woman has her own set of things that turn her on, like foreplay or oral sex, and things that turn her off. These things will differ from woman to woman. However, there are some things that men do when getting it on that most women don’t like. When you’re with a girl for a period of time, you’re going to learn her specific likes and dislikes. However, you can be pretty sure that every woman isn’t going to like these three things:

Being Excessively Polite In Bed

Weak, wimpy guys do not turn women on. In fact, quite the opposite! So if you’re excessively polite in the sack, saying things like “Please can I do this,” or “What do you think about this” is going to turn her off completely. Instead, focus on being confident and assertive during sex. Girls prefer a strong, confident guy who knows what he wants to a guy who is constantly worried about what he’s doing or if he’s doing it wrong.

Examples Of What Not To Do

Asking permission for everything in bed.
Never showing any dominant, masculine energy.
Apologizing for anything while getting busy.

Just because you’re being strong and masculine doesn’t mean you need to treat a woman badly. You can still be dominant and assertive while still being loving and caring towards her. Being a jerk towards her doesn’t make you confident – it just makes you a jerk. Show girls your confidence by knowing what you want and knowing how to give a woman an orgasm.

Lack Of Emotion During Sex

Very few sex advice manuals out there talk about how to be emotional while knocking boots. They’re mostly technique driven, teaching you how to touch a woman’s clitoris or finger her g-spot. However, technique is only going to get you so far. Women are emotional creatures, and experience emotion deeply when getting busy. It’s just part of their nature. Failing to show emotion and acting like a robot while getting it on isn’t going to win you any points, even if you can touch her exactly the way the sex advice book you read told you to.

Don’t be afraid to show your emotional side when making love. Let pleasure, pain or ecstasy overcome you and let it out. Let it show on your face and in your voice. Let yourself be consumed by the moment instead of being focused on every technique you learned. A woman wants to experience that with you, and she wants to know that she’s doing a good job pleasing you.

Ways To Show Emotion

Make noises while making love.
Talk romantically to her or use dirty talk if she’s into it.
Show emotional vulnerability inside and outside the bedroom.

Going Straight For The Gold

Another big faux pas when getting it on – and perhaps the biggest complaint among women – is when a guy goes straight for the gold. He comes in, does his thing, has an orgasm and rolls over and goes to sleep. Chances are, you’re not going to get laid by this woman again. She will think you don’t care about her and only cared about yourself and your pleasure.

Instead, focus on her pleasure first. Give her oral sex before you even have intercourse with her. Read sex advice manuals and learn new techniques to bring her pleasure. Combine new techniques with being confident and emotional, and you’ll have her completely wrapped up in you. She’ll want to get busy with you all the time!

When you find new ways to turn her on and pleasure her, you’re both going to get more nookie in the end. Experimenting with new ways to have fun and mix it up is going to keep her interested in having sex with you. If you use the same techniques over and over, she’s going to get bored and want to find something – or someone – else to do. Always be learning new techniques to keep things fresh and exciting.

It Was Supposed To Be Just A Fling…Is It?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 23:00:16 +0000

Sex can be casual, or it can mean something more. What do you do if the sex wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but you start having romantic feelings?

There’s this hot guy and the office. He was a so hot, I couldn’t help myself…neither could he. We hang out, hook up, then show up at work like we can’t stand each other. It was strictly a “no strings” deal going in, but all I do is think about doing him. Am I developing feelings?

What She Said:

It sounds like you’re getting good sex, so congratulations are in order! And, given that you mentioned you’re thinking about sex all the time, it sounds like it’s the act you’re attached to – not the guy.

It reads like an ideal situation and you’re both doing everything “right.” You’ve agreed on the boundaries (you don’t spend the night and you don’t discuss it at work); as well as what kind of relationship you’d like (sex with no strings). I’m going to assume that birth control and safety from STD’s have also been discussed. An accidental pregnancy is a quick way to snafu non-attachment!

Women Naturally Develop Emotional Attachments

In broad biological terms, women are hardwired to get attached to men they sleep with – it’s released in our hormones when we mate, so there’s no getting around that reality. But there is a way to beat it. If you feel you’re falling for this guy, take a step back emotionally and physically. Journal, talk to yourself in front of the mirror, write “NO” on the back of your hand, splash cold water over your face – whatever it takes to wake up and remind yourself what you’re really getting out of this situation. You might think you’re falling in love with him, when you’re really only falling for his body.

What you’re getting out of this is valuable. Sex is a healthy and necessary part of life and it sounds like you have a good physical connection with this guy. You both knew what you wanted from the get-go, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Keep your priorities in check and treat each other with respect – you’ll be fine. If emotions are starting to surface, be honest and see what happens. In the meantime, enjoy!

What He Said:

Sounds like he just plain screwed you stupid. You got it so good, you don’t know up from down and all those orgasms have straight fried your brain. There’s nothing to be concerned about. It is, after all, called mind blowing sex for a reason. Give it time. Let the new-ness of the relationship wear off. After your body and mind have adapted to their worlds consistently being rocked by this guy, then you’ll know if it’s really more than just screwing for you.

Don’t Get Caught

Maybe it is, maybe it’s not. Time will tell. The most important thing to consider here is the workplace aspect. Never ever do it at work. Never talk dirty at work. Never send naughty emails via company email accounts. Channel your inner secret agent and you should be fine.

Why Can I Only Reach Orgasm With Clitoral Stimulation?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 23 May 2011 14:00:38 +0000

An orgasm isn’t always something that is easy for a woman to achieve. Getting to climax for a girl isn’t at all as easy or quick as it is for a guy – for a guy, it’s pretty much guaranteed that he’s going to orgasm during sex but not so much for a woman. In fact, many women can only have a climax by stimulating the clitoris. Why is this?

Question: I can’t orgasm while having sex with my partner. I have to help him by playing with myself. I cant orgasm by just having plain sex with him. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy it, I love it. But I can’t seem to get into the “zone.” Some history about this is: I was a virgin about one year ago and lost it with my partner that I am with now. He is a little worried about my not being able to reach climax without clitoral stimulation. Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

Needing Clitoral Stimulation To Orgasm Is NOT Uncommon

Over 65% of women actually require stimulation of the clitoris during sex to have a climax at all. This is the vast majority of women, and this doesn’t even count the number of girls who have never even experienced climax at all! Only a few women can have a climax with vaginal intercourse or g-spot stimulation alone. Usually, if a woman is going to have a g-spot orgasm, it is in conjunction with a clitoral orgasm.

Why The Clitoris Is So Important

The clitoris is actually one of the most important – if not THE most important – part of a girl’s anatomy when it comes to sex. The clitoris has over 8,000 ultra sensitive nerve endings in it alone, which is more nerves than are present in the entire penis! It is designed for female pleasure and pleasure alone, meaning that this part of a girl’s anatomy actually has no other purpose whatsoever that to provide a woman with sexual pleasure and bring her to climax!

G-Spot Orgasms

Having an orgasm through g-spot or vaginal stimulation is going to take a lot longer than having a clitoral orgasm and a woman has to be extremely aroused and mentally and physically “into it” for a climax to happen this way. A lot of men just don’t give a girl enough warm up time through foreplay to get her really good and turned on first, so then it seems like it’s impossible for her to climax through vaginal intercourse.

In reality, it IS going to take longer and a woman needs to be FULLY aroused before starting to stimulate the g-spot. Give yourself enough time for foreplay in the beginning, and give yourself enough time during sex to actually have a g-spot or vaginal climax. Many couples assume that just because it is taking a long time or that it’s not happening as fast as it does when stimulating the clitoris that it will never happen. Relax, have patience and have fun with it!

Why She May Not Be Able To Have A G-Spot Orgasm

As a woman becomes more and more aroused during sex, her g-spot is going to swell up and become engorged with blood. When this happens, the g-spot can feel friction during sex more and sex is more pleasurable. However, the enlarged g-spot also pushes against the bladder and for a girl, it can feel like she needs to pee. Thinking that she’s going to wet the bed during sex is enough to turn her off completely and make her want to stop.

Avoid this by having her go to the bathroom before having sex. Then, when she starts to feel like she has to urinate, you can both be confident that this isn’t a real urge to use the restroom – it’s simply the g-spot enlarging and pressing on the bladder. You can be reasonably sure that when she starts to feel this way, a g-spot climax isn’t far off. Encourage her to relax through the feeling and ride the waves of pleasure!

Bring In The Sex Toys

Lots of women put pressure on their partners to learn how to please them sexually, but they don’t have the slightest clue how to pleasure themselves. You’ll never be able to teach your partner to push your hot buttons unless you’ve figured out where they are first, so take some time to hit the sheets with some of your favorite sex toys and learn what you really like in bed.

If you want to have a g-spot orgasm, try out a few g-spot massagers or vibrators. A Rabbit vibrator is always a great choice, because it stimulates both the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time. A lot of the time, having a blended orgasm first (both a g-spot and a clitoral climax at the same time) will bridge the gap between having just a clitoral climax and a g-spot climax separately.

Kegel Exercises

Kegel exercises are a great way for a girl to strengthen her vaginal muscles and create more friction during sex. Practice squeezing your PC muscles (the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when going to the bathroom) when you’re just sitting at your desk at work or while walking around. No one will know you’re doing them! By strengthening your vaginal muscles, you can squeeze your partner’s penis during sex so you both experience more friction during intercourse. This will increase your likelihood of having a g-spot climax!

How Do I Know If I’m Bisexual?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:00:53 +0000

In sex ed, they don’t tell you how to figure out your sexual orientation. And when you’re a teenager, there are tons of sexual hormones that are taking over your body – one minute you can be feeling one way and the next minute you can be feeling the exact opposite. It can be hard to tell what your true sexual orientation is when so many emotions are going through you. How do you know if you’re really and truly gay, straight, bisexual or anything in between?

For about two years, I’ve contimplated weather or not I’m bi-sexual, and I’ve been feeling like I am a lot more now than I have in the past. I’m sort of freaked out by all this and I was wondering if you could explain some of this stuff. I’m fifteen and living with two old school catholics – so let’s just say I can’t go to the parents on this one, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

What Is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality is simply the recognition that one can be physically and emotionally to more than one gender. Many people assume that if you have sex with a member of the same gender that it automatically makes you gay or bisexual, but this isn’t true. You don’t have to have had sex at all – with anyone – or you can have had sex with both genders.

You can also be gay but have only had sex with members of the opposite sex, and vice versa. On the other hand, having a sexual encounter with someone of the same gender doesn’t make you gay or bisexual. Your sexual orientation doesn’t depend at all on who you’ve been to bed with!

What Do You Really Fantasize About?

What does determine your sexual orientation is what governs your sexual fantasies. Are you a guy who is sleeping with with women but keeps dreaming about giving a great blowjob to a guy? Are you a girl who is having sex with guys but secretly wish you were with a girl instead? If this is the case, you might want to consider that possibility that you are gay or bisexual.

Leaning One Way Or The Other

If you’re bisexual, it doesn’t mean that you have to be attracted physically and emotionally to men and women equally. Lots of people lean one way or the other – a man who is bisexual may prefer women but sometimes enjoy men, or a woman may really enjoy being with another women but think being with a man sexually is okay too.

Questions To Ask Yourself

If you’re unsure about what your sexual orientation really is, you can ask yourself some questions to dig deeper within yourself and find out what really defines your sexuality.

Do you feel attracted to both genders?
Are you attracted to men and to women sexually and emotionally?
Do you think about having sex with a woman when you’re with a man or vice versa?
Do you enjoy looking at both men and women sexually?
Do you believe that either gender could fulfill you emotionally in a relationship?

All In All, It’s Just A Label

What sex ed definitely won’t teach you is that bisexuality, gay, straight, transgender, etc. are all just labels that people put on themselves or put on others. Humans have to label everything – it comes naturally to them to place a label on people, things, ideas, and pretty much everything else they come into contact with.

You don’t have to label yourself at all if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to consider yourself bisexual or gay or straight, then don’t! There are lots of people out there that don’t meet the criteria for gay, straight or even bisexual and are somewhere in the middle – but that’s okay because when it comes to sexuality and sexual orientation, it’s all shades of gray anyways. By labeling everything, we try to make our world black and white, but it just doesn’t happen that way.

You are who you are and you don’t need a label to give yourself permission to be a certain way or enjoy certain things. You don’t have to consider yourself into BDSM just because you like the occasional spanking, or think of yourself as having a urine fetish if you enjoy a golden shower every now and again. When it comes to sex – and anything else – you don’t have to define yourself unless you want to, and it’s not up to anyone else to define you either. The most important thing is to be honest and true to yourself, and live the way you want to live.

Q&A: Sex Positions For Plus Sizes

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 14:00:11 +0000

Finding the right sex positions that not only feel great but also work with the body type of both you and your partner can be frustrating. If you or your partner are plus size, you may not get good penetration in some sex positions and others may just be downright impossible. Here are some sex positions that work well for big boned couples, because everyone deserves a satisfying sex life!

My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a while now, and we just cant seem to get it to “work,” meaning we can’t quite get a good flow going. With me being a girl, I have trouble getting it to feel really good for an extended period of time. The problem is he is very overweight and I am a mere 120 pounds.

We are only physically capable of doing the girl on top positions, and I have trouble keeping his penis in and when it stays, I have a hard time keeping thrusts going because I have to keep his belly out of the way. Please help us we really want to improve our sexual connection with one another.

–YouTube Viewer

Doggy Style

Doggy style is a great sex position to try if one or both partners are big boned. If only he is larger, it works well because he can lay his belly on her butt to keep it out of the way and allow for deeper thrusting. If she is also larger than average, it allows her to keep her own belly out of the way during sex. Traditional missionary style sex may be difficult if both partners are larger than average because their genitals don’t always touch when facing each other chest to chest. Doggy style makes penetration and thrusting much, much easier for big boned couples.

Spooning

Spooning is also a great way to overcome difficulty having sex when you’re overweight. The woman will lie in a fetal position, with the knees bent. A pillow can be put under the woman’s hips if it is comfortable. The man will kneel facing the woman and enter her, and for variety, the woman can lift her leg and place it over his shoulder.

T-Square Position

In this sex position, the woman lies on her back with legs spread apart and raised. The man lies with his hips under the arch formed by her raised legs. This allows both partners’ abdomens to be out of the way, allowing the genitals to touch without difficulty.

Try A Love Swing

A love swing – also sometimes called a sex swing – can enable you and your partner to try sex positions you never could before. Because the sex swing holds one partner up, it is easier to do more things than you can if you’re having sex on a surface like a bed or couch. Most sex swings have straps that can suspend one or both legs in different ways, allowing lots of variety for penetration and thrusting. Couples that have larger than average body types will find that g-spot orgasms are easier to achieve using a sex swing, because it holds the body at a variety of angles.

Love Swing Safety

If you do decide to invest in a sex swing, make sure they hold you and your partner’s separate weight limits, and make sure to install it correctly according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Find a sturdy place in the ceiling from which to hang the swing, such as a beam or stud – not sheet rock or drywall.

It’s Not All About Penetration

Sex isn’t all about penetration – if you and your partner have difficulty finding sex positions that are comfortable, learn to please each other in different ways. Oral sex is a great option for big boned couples that have a hard time with intercourse and thrusting. Also, try experimenting with sex toys. You can give your partner pleasure and connect with them sexually in ways other than intercourse. Don’t stress out too much about it if you and your partner can’t have sex easily. You can still have fun together!

Fun Facts

Did you know that overweight men last longer in bed? Researchers in Turkey have finished a year long study which correlates body mass index with male sexual performance. Heavier men were able to make love for an average of 7.3 minutes, while smaller men lasted only an average of 108 seconds. The study showed that overweight men had higher levels of the female hormone estradiol, which blocks male hormones and delays the climax.

Is It Safe For A Pregnant Woman To Have Sex?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 14:00:35 +0000

Sex during pregnancy is something lots of men and women wonder about after they have found out they’re going to have a baby. Is intercourse during pregnancy always safe, never safe or sometimes safe? Here’s what you need to know about sex for pregnant women and how to cope if your doctor has instructed you to abstain from sex until the baby is born.

I’d like to say once again that I love your channel and what you guys are trying to do. Well, my friend has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and he feels awkward asking for sex from her. He asked me because I was always that go-to guy for advice, but now I’m stumped. So is it safe for pregnant women to have sex?

–YouTube Viewer

During The First Trimester

The first trimester of pregnancy – that is, the first three months – the baby is very, very small. In fact, it’s too small to be harmed by even the most wild, vigorous sex. The first month or two, the baby is microscopic and even in the third month, it is only an inch or two long. Sex during this stage of pregnancy is almost always safe, unless your doctor has said otherwise.

However, this is the stage you should be more worried about what goes into the pregnant woman’s body – such as drugs and alcohol. Consuming drugs or alcohol (even smoking cigarettes) during the first trimester can do a lot of damage. Even not getting the proper nutrients during this stage of development can hinder growth and cause problems such as spinal bifida and other malformations.

Too Tired For Sex?

During the first trimester, a lot of women aren’t interested in having sex. The hormones being produced by their bodies make them feel tired and stressed, not to mention that morning sickness usually occurs during this time. And don’t assume that morning sickness happens only in the morning – some women don’t have nausea at all and some feel queasy all day. Don’t pressure your partner if she’s not feeling like having sex – there are plenty of good reasons why.

The Second Trimester

After the first trimester of pregnancy, the nausea begins to subside and a woman may feel like she’s got her “second wind.” She’s probably feeling more like having sex, and may even initiate it with foreplay. This is the part of the pregnancy that you find out the gender of the baby and when she starts to show. But is it still safe even though the baby is getting bigger?

Unless a doctor has told you otherwise, it is perfectly safe to have sex during the second trimester. She may even find it more enjoyable during this time in her life than she ever has before – after all, her genitals are becoming very sensitive now. However, the sex positions that you always use might be more difficult now that the baby is starting to get bigger.

Even though the baby is starting to show, penetration still won’t hurt it because it is surrounded by protective amniotic fluid, the uterus and muscles.

The Third Trimester

This is the trimester in which the baby really starts to put on weight. You’ll notice that your partner is getting bigger and bigger each week, and finding comfortable sex positions is becoming even more difficult. Doggy style is a popular sex position during this stage of pregnancy because it allows the belly to stay out of the way.

As a woman progresses into pregnancy and her body gets ready to give birth, getting busy may actually speed the process along. Once a baby has become “full term,” usually around the 40th week of pregnancy, the hormones in a man’s semen (and the vigorous motion created during penetration) can actually induce labor. It’s also not uncommon for this to happen during the 38th or 39th week of pregnancy.

When Sex During Pregnancy Isn’t Safe

There are going to be times when engaging in sexual activity during pregnancy isn’t safe for the woman or the baby. Usually, this is in the case of very high risk pregnancies. Ask a doctor whether the pregnancy is considered high risk and if it is okay to have sex. Don’t be afraid to get specific and ask which activities and sex positions are safe and which aren’t.

If intercourse becomes painful for a woman during the pregnancy, let the doctor know immediately. Intercourse during pregnancy may be uncomfortable at times, but it shouldn’t be painful. Many guys (and girls) are embarrassed to talk to their doctors about things of a sexual nature, but her obstetrician is going to have the best answers for you on what is safe and what isn’t.

What To Do If You Can’t Have Sex

If your girl is up to it, consider being intimate with each other in ways that don’t include penetration if your doctor has suggested you abstain from intercourse. Many guys are afraid they’re going to be left out if their pregnant partners can’t have sex, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Oral sex is a great way to satisfy her sexually and vice versa. Very rarely, if ever, is oral sex dangerous to a developing fetus.

You can also experiment with sex toys for her that don’t involve penetration, such as vibrators for the clitoris. Anal play can also be an option if she’s into it and her doctor has given the green light on it. Be creative and explore different ways to please each other sexually without engaging in actual intercourse.

If She Doesn’t Want – Or Can’t Do – Anything

If intercourse is out and she just doesn’t want to (or can’t for some reason) try oral sex or any other type of sexual activity, you’re just going to have to bite the bullet on this one. A masturbation sleeve can be your best friend during this time, because you might just have to resort to it more often than you actually get to do it with your partner.

Don’t pressure her for intercourse if she can’t or doesn’t want to. Her body is going through many changes and there’s lots of good reasons that she might not want to engage in any kind of sexual activity at all. Just grab a bottle of lube and take a few minutes to take care of things yourself. Your partner will appreciate not being hounded about having sex when she just doesn’t feel like it.

Can Lube Cause Yeast Infections?

Kaylen Jackson — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 14:00:27 +0000

Lube does a lot of things, including relieving vaginal dryness and making sex more comfortable and pleasurable for both partners. Lube is recommended for almost every sexual activity, especially during vaginal penetration and anal sex. But are there any downsides to using lube during sex? Can using lube cause vaginal discomfort or yeast infections?

What Is A Yeast Infection?

A yeast infection is simply when the pH of the vagina has been thrown off – and this can happen any number of ways.

Sex. Sexual partners can actually pass yeast infections to one another during intercourse.
Getting sick. If your immune system is lowered, you can be more susceptible to the overgrowth of yeast in the vagina.
Stress. Stress lowers the immune system and women with chronic problems are often found to be exposed to constant stress.
Hormones, pregnancy and birth control. If the hormones in the body aren’t balanced properly, a yeast overgrowth can occur.
Antibiotics. They change the pH of the vagina too, eliminating all the natural bacteria that are found in the vagina (the ones that consume excess yeast).

There are also a number of things that can help a yeast infection form, or make it much worse once it has started.

Tight clothing
Polyester or synthetic fabrics that do not allow good ventilation
Lots of sex in a short period of time
Wiping from back to front
Sweating, especially in hot or muggy weather
Douching

Is Lube A Culprit?

Some brands do contain glycerin – in fact, quite a few of them do. Glycerine is a sugar based product, which can affect the growth of yeast in the vagina. Things with high sugar content that are inserted into or near the vagina can cause an infection – which is why you always see a disclaimer when reading about having sex with chocolate or candies. Lube can certainly make a previous infection worse, and in extremely sensitive individuals, using it may bring an infection on.

However, since there are so many different factors that can cause or contribute to the overgrowth of yeast in the vagina, it is much more likely that lube isn’t the only cause of a yeast infection (although it is possible). It is formulated specifically for the vagina and is designed to mimic natural lubrication as closely as possible. It is likely that the pH balance in the vagina was off to begin with and lube tipped the scales towards an infection, causing symptoms of vaginal discomfort, burning or itching.

Some brands of lube may cause more vaginal discomfort than others. For example, warming lubes that are designed to heat up have been known to cause intense sensations, sometimes to the point of pain and discomfort in women that are very sensitive. You may have had a reaction to a new lubricant without actually having a yeast infection.

How To Buy The Right Kind Of Lube

If you’re very sensitive to yeast infections and get them frequently, look for some that is made without glycerin. Astroglide makes a glycerin and paraben free formula, which is great for women with sensitive genitals. Parabens are also chemicals that can cause an uncomfortable reaction in some women, so consider purchasing a lube that is both glycerin and paraben free.

Do not use things that you get from home – that means no vegetable oils, olive oils, lotions or anything that isn’t made to be put inside the vagina. These kinds of oils (even baby oil) can clog the pores on the inside of the vaginal walls and make the environment a great host for all kinds of unwanted yeast and bacteria. Spare yourself the trouble and spend a few bucks on a great bottle of lubricant, available anywhere from sex toy stores to your local supermarket. You’ll thank yourself for it later.

Seeing The Doctor

If it seems like you’re doing everything right and you’re still having vaginal discomfort or yeast infection symptoms, even after using over the counter remedies, it may be time to make an appointment with your doctor. You could have an STD – or just a really nasty bacterial infection that requires the use of antibiotics to get rid of.

If you’re to embarrassed to see your doctor about a possible vaginal infection, find a doctor that you are comfortable seeing. Honestly, your doctor has seen just about everything from anal sex injuries to STD’s to really strange stuff that you probably don’t want to hear about. That’s what your doctor is there for – to talk to and to find solutions to keep your body healthy.

4 Tricks To Avoid Premature Ejaculation And Last Longer In Bed

Lloyd Lester — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 01:18:55 +0000

Premature ejaculation happens to many men. Are you unable to last as long as you want during sex? Has your wife or partner hinted that she wished you could last longer? When it comes to intercourse, there is a huge disparity in the time it takes for men and women to come to an orgasm.

For the average man, 2 to 4 minutes is all it takes from start to finish. For the majority of women, anything less than 10 minutes of constant stimulation is unlikely to see her enjoy the orgasm she deserves. Thus it is easy to understand why among all the men’s health issues, the ability to last longer is the number ONE topic that most men would like more information about.

While most guys are not naturally endowed with sensational stamina, there are specific strategies you can use to avoid premature ejaculation and give your endurance a healthy boost. If you want to surprise your lover with sex that lasts much longer, these tips will help you.

Tip #1: “Muscular Conquest”

All of us have a pubococcygeus or PC muscle. Use that as a leverage to enhance your stamina. This belongs to a specific group of muscles located within your pelvic floor (between your testicles and anus). Most men are not aware of this, but you have probably noticed that prior to an ejaculation, the area between your anus and testes actually contract involuntarily.

That area is where your pelvic floor muscles are located, and are responsible for ejaculatory control. To prevent involuntary contractions from taking place (or even to delay them), these muscles need to be strong.

The good news is, there are specific exercises that guys can practice to strengthen these core muscles and keep them in tip-top condition so that they can last as long as they desire during sex. There are different variations and permutations of these exercises (called kegels), and the most basic ones involve simple contraction and relaxation techniques while more advanced routines involve more rhythmic and protracted contractions.

Tip #2: “Perineum Convergence”

This technique works really well when you are close to the point of ejaculation. Simply use your fingers to apply targeted pressure against your perineum – the soft spot between your scrotum and anus. Alternatively you can ask your partner to apply the pressure. Just make sure you give her the right signal at the right time; otherwise she may just miss the moment.

The basis behind this technique is this: When an orgasm is imminent, the prostate gland (also known as the male G-spot) will expand and contract rhythmically, before expelling semen through the urethra tube. Applying firm pressure against the perineum will suppress the impending flow.

Tip #3: “Anchor Your Breathing”

Sex can be a very exhilarating experience. As a result, in the throes of pleasure, many men end up holding their breath or breathe rapidly. Doing either one of these things will likely compel your body to ejaculate quickly. You should instead anchor the way you breathe. Allow yourself to take in slow, deep, purposeful breaths. It may seem counter-intuitive at first, but it will eventually become second nature to you. Try adding some sound to your breathing too. Some women get very aroused by this.

Here’s one specific breathing technique you can practice for enhanced stamina. When you are having intercourse, inhale slowly and count to 5. Hold your breath for another count of 5 and then exhale slowly for another 5 beats. Whenever you feel your arousal rising too quickly, repeat this breathing pattern. Such focused breathing will quickly calm your sexual nerves and help you last a lot longer.

Tip #4: “Purposeful Disengagement”

This is a tried-and-tested method of lasting longer. Pioneered by renowned sexual therapists, Masters and Johnson, this technique requires you to interrupt sex at appropriate stages to allow the intense sensations to subside. The key is to become familiar with your body and your sexual responses. You have to learn how to prevent yourself from coming too close to the “point of no return” (PNOR) – which is the stage where ejaculation becomes inevitable.

To achieve this, you have to be aware of the sensations during sex and the feelings leading up to a climax. Even as you withdraw your penis as a stop-gap measure, you should continue to rev up your partner’s arousal – for instance, by giving her oral sex or using your fingers to tease her pleasure spots. Not only does this technique help delay an orgasm, it will boost your ejaculation volume too!

My Libido Is Too High! What Do I Do?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 23:00:23 +0000

My libido is extreme! I’m a girl and when I’m in a committed relationship, I really like sex. A lot. I have a more prominent libido than any girl I know. My past boyfriends couldn’t handle it. I’m kind of insecure about my sexual needs. My current man says he’s okay with it. How much sex drive is normal for a girl?

What She Said:

How much you want is what’s right for you – there isn’t anything as “too much,” though some may argue there can be too little! It honestly sounds like you’ve got the perfect situation – you enjoy having a lot of sex with someone you love, you’re in love and your partner is happy to help you fulfill the frequency. I wish I could expand on this, but I don’t see a problem.

The misconception that a woman’s sex drive is lower than a man’s is just that – a misconception. Many women have a higher libido than their man, especially as they get older. A man comes into his sexual peak in his early twenties, while a woman doesn’t come into her sexual peak until her thirties and even forties!

It sounds like you know what you like and how much you like it, all while satiating your needs in a healthy and safe way. You may have had boyfriends in the past that judged you (perhaps because they couldn’t keep up), but now you’re with someone who’s a better match for you sexually, and hopefully emotionally. I’ll say to you what you probably say to your lucky boyfriend, “Keep it up!”

If you and your current beau break up and you end up with a guy who can’t fulfill your sexual needs (and you really like him and aren’t interested in finding someone else who can meet your sexual needs), you can consider incorporating sex toys into your routine. If your man just isn’t in the mood, light some candles, take a hot, relaxing bath and have fun masturbating by yourself! There’s nothing wrong with a woman getting it on with herself, even when she’s in a relationship. Lots of men and women enjoy masturbation in addition to a healthy, happy sex life.

What He Said:

You’re not banging random guys on the street corner, are you? (If so, call me and tell me which corner) So there’s nothing wrong with screwing your man’s brains out. I’ve often said that a football stadium full of teenage boys on Viagra couldn’t keep up with an uninhibited woman’s libido.

Guys are notorious for getting caught choking the chicken when they’re in a relationship, because so many women expect that a man must solely be satisfied with sex with his partner alone. However, men usually enjoy a combination of getting busy with their woman (a blowjob is by far better than masturbation) as well as satisfying themselves when their girl isn’t available. There’s no reason it can’t be the same for a woman – if your guy just isn’t up to it and you’re rearing and ready to go, hop in bed for a little solo session. Your man just might walk in on you and want to join the fun!

Can your man keep up with you? No, but he will have fun trying. Relax and enjoy it and for God’s sake get him a truck load of those little blue pills!

7 Titillating Tips To Unleash The Sexual Desires In Her

Lloyd Lester — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 23:00:11 +0000

Even the best sex advice in the world doesn’t shine a candle to this amazing suggestions on how to get a “good girl” to shed her own inhibitions and become a wild, sexy and sex-obsessed woman in bed. This is something that probably every guy would love an answer to. The simple truth is that most women have this dual “good girl/bad girl” characteristic in them.

You see, a normal woman, even one who appears prim, proper and pristine, will experience moments in her life when she is more or less sexually expressive. The truth is that you hold the amazing power to quickly shift a woman’s feelings and emotions about her own sexuality and sexual ability. You can make her suddenly feel a sexual connection with you and become wild and sexually adventurous. The key lies in YOU achieving a balance with your own sexuality and sexual desires.

Don’t Be Afraid To Reveal Your Own Desires To Her

By the law of reciprocity, your willingness to open up to her holds the key to bring out the more adventurous and wild streak in her. For example, if she’s a little apprehensive, try revealing your own sexual fantasies first. Tease her out of her sexual shell and heighten her anticipation of what’s to come next.

When You Are Making Love To Her, Touch Her With Confidence

Increase her desire by exercising self-restraint. For instance, refrain from heading straight for her clitoris during sex. Instead, tease her playfully. Kiss her gently, allowing your tongue to work its magic on all her sensual spots, from her ears, to her neck, down her navel (skip her vagina) and traverse down her inner thighs to her toes.

Revel In Her Sexuality

Learning to genuinely appreciate her body is extremely powerful in getting her to totally relax and be ready for your advances. Most women feel insecure about their bodies and how they look, so compliment parts of her body and make her feel hot and sensuous about herself. Women respond very well to positive reinforcement. So let her know that you appreciate her body for all its splendor and how you enjoy the things that she does to you in bed.

Know What You Are Doing In Bed

Understand the facts about female sexuality and how to give her an orgasm. Sex is not just about using tricks, tips and techniques, although these are important aspects of sensational lovemaking. It is also equally important to pay attention how you can connect with her emotionally before and during sex.

Give Her The Right Kind Of Foreplay

Talking about foreplay, you should know that women need to be adequately aroused and stimulated from sufficient amounts of pre-intercourse stimulation before they are ready. Contrary to what most men believe, touching and caressing her private parts and engaging in oral sex are not really considered proper foreplay. These are really sexual acts on their own, and not the sexual prelude that woman generally needs. Foreplay should involve mental activities that will heighten her arousal (such as talking dirty) as well as physical acts that target her non-sexual erogenous areas (e.g. massaging her back).

Address Any Performance Issues Immediately

If there are issues that hamper your performance or ability in bed, address these as soon as possible. For instance, if you find yourself ejaculating prematurely during sex or if you have problems with erectile dysfunction, make sure you get the right help and deal with these without delay. There are many effective self-help programs that improves a man’s performance and their overall sexual confidence.

Never Force Yourself On Her

Don’t pressure her to have sex when she is not in the mood. You can still connect with her in a different manner – give her a sensuous massage or cuddle together in front of the fireplace, for instance. If you get her in the right frame of mind before sex, making her climax suddenly becomes ten times easier for you. A woman’s mind is her most powerful sex organ… it is THE focal point of her orgasm. If you can make her feel completely comfortable in your presence and make out with you with total abandon, giving her a powerful climax is in most cases, just a clitoral rub away!

Believe it or not, by simply demonstrating these characteristics, you will bring about powerful and lasting changes in the way your woman views her ability to indulge in wild, adventurous and wanton sex!

How To Have Amazing Sex – Tonight!

Kaylen Jackson — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 14:00:14 +0000

The best sex advice is that sex doesn’t have to be boring – but it’s easy to get in a rut, especially when you’ve been in a relationship with someone for quite some time. But it doesn’t have to be blase – in fact, it can be completely and utterly amazing by doing just a few simple things to change up your routine a little. Check out these suggestions and start getting busy – right now!

Stop Waiting For The Right Time

Couples who have been together for awhile are no stranger to the quickie. However, when one or both partners start becoming disenchanted with sex, they may start waiting for the “perfect” time to have sex – you know, the moment when everything just clicks, you and your partner are both horny as hell and you’re both super into it.

While the “right time” may have happened more during the beginning of your relationship, it’s natural for this to taper off as day to day life gets in the way. Who’s going to be horny and want it at 9:00 at night after working all day, cooking dinner and doing homework and baths for the kids?

Instead of waiting for the “right time” to do it with your partner, just do it. Commit to sex one night, even if you’re both tired or you’d both rather be watching a movie or sleeping. You may even need to schedule it like you would schedule a date. By doing this, you’re actually giving yourself the opportunity for sex that is great because chances are, you and your partner will both get into it after things get started. If you just wait for it to happen the right way, you’ll never get busy.

Set Up A Date For Sex – During “That” Time Of The Month

Actually, not the time of the month you’re probably thinking about. Studies show that women are most receptive to sex during their ovulation time – about fourteen days after the first day of a woman’s period. During this time, women feel super sexy and confident, and may start masturbating more or making advances on their partner. In fact, studies also show that women double their chances of having an orgasm when they’re ovulating as well.

Set up a date for sex during your ovulation period. Plan for a babysitter, buy some candles and head out for a romantic dinner. Do whatever you need to do to make that night special. Planning for time in between the sheets with your partner when you’re at your sexual peak means that you’re pretty much guaranteed an incredible night with sex that is out of this world.

Just remember that you’re also more fertile during your ovulation period – so use condoms or birth control if you’re not planning to get pregnant.

Get Emotionally Close To Your Partner

One reason that couples who are in a relationship stop having great sex together because they’re arguing often, or they feel like they’re just not that emotionally close with their lover anymore. If a woman doesn’t feel emotionally and spiritually connected to her partner, she’s not going to be able to let go of her inhibitions and enjoy sex.

Plan a date where you and your partner can get away from it all and just reconnect. This doesn’t mean going to the movies or sitting in a loud, crowded bar. Plan a date that allows you and your lover to really talk – like going hiking together or having a picnic in the park. Heck, you can even have a picnic in your backyard. Ask each other the basic questions all over again (like what your favorite food or color is) because you’d be surprised at how even couples who have been together for years can forget the basic stuff that makes their lover who they are.

Get Kinky

Having plain, vanilla sex? Exchange it for trying a few new moves in the bedroom. Add a little kink by trying out some light bondage or blindfolding, or simply try a couple new sex positions next time you get busy. When couples start to know exactly what to expect during sex (because it’s been the same thing the last twenty times), it can get pretty boring.

Instead, try new things that are just a little outside of your box. You don’t have to get super crazy and try things that make you uncomfortable, but changing your routine up just a little bit can make all the difference in the world when it comes to having better sex. Tonight, try doing something just a little different like doing it on the couch or fingering her g-spot while you go down on her.

Penis Size – What About Vagina Size? Do Girls Have A Size Too?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:00:33 +0000

Sex is something every guy obsesses over – and the biggest obsession of all is how big their penis is. Guys know they’re not all the same down there, but is it the same for girls? Do women have a certain “vagina size” too? Are some women bigger down there than others? Here’s the lowdown on how what’s in a girl’s pants can be different from one woman to the next and how to handle it when it comes to having sex.

Question: My cousin masturbated with a toothbrush and she couldn’t get it all in – she only got 4 inches. It was like a wall was blocking it and when she pushed it. It didnt hurt but it wasnt pleasant either (this happened to me too). I’ve heard girls have a “size” too. Does this mean she’s extra small or is it that she’s a virgin?

–YouTube Viewer

If She’s A Virgin

If a woman is a virgin and has never had sex before, and even if she’s never inserted anything into her vagina before at all (including tampons or sex toys), her vagina is definitely going to be smaller than if she had participated in intercourse. Most virgins have a flap of skin inside the vaginal canal called the hymen, which will break when enough force is put behind penetration. Sometimes the hymen can break unexpectedly for no reason, such as during activities like horseback riding.

When something penetrates the vaginal canal and pushes up against the hymen, the hymen will resist and make it more difficult to push the object in. This will most often cause discomfort and even pain in some cases. If the hymen is broken, it can also cause light to moderate bleeding.

Once The Hymen Is Broken, Are All Vaginas The Same Size?

Just like penis size differs from man to man, the vagina size (both outside and in) can differ greatly from girl to girl. Just like no two people are the same and everyone is different in their height, weight, hair color and body type, their genitals are going to be different as well.

The vagina lays flat when there is nothing in it, and expands when a penis or object (such as a vibrator) is inserted inside. Some women are designed to accommodate objects that are thicker in width, while other women’s bodies can stretch to accommodate an object that is longer. However, this can change as a woman gets used to thicker and thicker (or longer and longer) objects.

For example, a woman who has had sex with a man that has a very big penis will be able to tolerate a larger object such as a large dildo or other sex toy, while a woman that has only been penetrated with small objects would not be able to tolerate something very large. Just remember that once stretched, not always stretched – the vagina can go back to its original shape over time.

When A Woman Has A Baby

A prime example of vagina size changing is when a woman gives birth. A baby is very large in comparison to how large a vagina is, but the vaginal canal and opening is made to stretch to accommodate a baby when it is born naturally.

While the vagina may tear or be cut when a woman gives birth, it generally goes back to the way it was before the baby was born, in both width and length.

How Genetics Come Into Play

How high the cervix is up inside a woman’s body is entirely dependent on genetics. This refers to the length of the vaginal canal, because the cervix is where the vagina stops and the uterus begins. Just like some women are shorter and taller than one another, their vaginas can be shorter or longer depending on the genes they were born with.

Sex Before Marriage?

Many religions suggest waiting until marriage to have sex and while that can be the right choice for many individuals, it does prevent the couple from figuring out whether their sexual anatomy is compatible with one another. For example, a woman may find out on her honeymoon right after they get married that her husband’s penis is eight inches long and her vagina will only fit four or five inches.

If you and your partner don’t fit together physically, it makes it nearly impossible to have a satisfying sex life. If you and your partner decide to take your genitals out for a “test drive” to see if you are sexually compatible, remember to make safe sex your priority.

How To Tighten The Vagina

Many women desire to tighten their vaginal canals to give their partner (and themselves) more pleasure during sex. Many women want to reduce the gap between their partner’s penis size and their vagina, creating a tighter fit and more friction during intercourse. Exercises that help tighten these muscles – called the PC muscles – are called kegel exercises and are performed by squeezing your PC muscles as though you were stopping the flow of urine. Repeat the squeezing over and over to strengthen the muscles and make the vagina tighter.

How To Stretch The Vagina

Experiment with sex toys of different sizes, starting small and working your way up. This is especially true if you’re new to sex, have never experienced a large penis size or just have a very small vagina. You can work with your vaginal muscles to stretch them out and make it more comfortable for you to be penetrated by larger and larger objects.

Remember when using sex toys or even while having sex to always use lube, especially if you’re experimenting with an object that is larger than you’ve ever tried using before. Lube will make everything go much smoother!

7 Lovemaking Mistakes That Couples Make And How To Avoid Them

Michael Webb — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 23:00:29 +0000

Did you know that people who try to spice up their lovemaking, often make their experiences LESS fulfilling? It’s true. Over the years, I’ve seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives, and I’d like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems.

Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making them?

Mistake #1: Feeling Scared Or Embarrassed About Trying New Things

Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think? Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they’re just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.

And you don’t need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That’s nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring kink and variety to your passionate play that aren’t crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.

Mistake #2: Trying To Convince Your Partner To Have Sex

If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works. On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical ’adrenaline’ into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy for lovemaking. So here’s how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if they’re tired.

Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him a blowjob or a handjob between 9 and 10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He’ll like that.

Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest ’turn-ons’ for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck – it will drive her wild. But don’t rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.

MISTAKE #3: Neglecting Foreplay To Enjoy Intercourse Sooner

People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy lovemaking sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms? That’s right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying.

So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.) If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they’ll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.

Mistake #4: Using Sex Toys Or Porn To Make Your Lovemaking Better

When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof. Wrong! While sex toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.

Why? Because you don’t want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses’ body parts before introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.

Mistake #5: Trying To Make A Woman Orgasm With Penetration Only

Men often feel “unmanly” if they can’t satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can’t achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.

Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there’s no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).

Mistake #6: Trying To Orgasm At The Same Time

Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first. Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.

Mistake #7: Sticking To A “Set Routine”

You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar? No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years. And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get “too routine,” which can begin to affect your relationship.

The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal. That’s the secret.

In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even do it more often.

When Is A Woman Physically Ready To Have Sex?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 14:00:07 +0000

Sex ed programs in schools and all over the country can leave a lot to be desired when it comes to learning about sex and when the right time to do it is. How do you know your body is prepared to have sex for the first time? How do you know your body is primed? How do you know that you’re emotionally prepared for it and are prepared to deal with the consequences that having sex (even protected) can sometimes bring? Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you really are prepared – or if you should wait.

Question: I feel ready to have sex. I know it and I have no doubts about it. So emotionally, I’m more than OK. But physically, when is the right age for a woman to have sex? I got my period 2 years ago and I am WELL informed on birth control and STD’s. I even know how to put on a condom.

–YouTube Viewer

Being Emotionally Ready For Sex

It’s easy to think you’re emotionally prepared for it because this is something that pretty much every sex ed program in the country doesn’t discuss. In fact, with the far majority of sex ed programs discussing how to say “no” and the benefits of abstinence, very few of them actually do approach the topic of when the right time actually is.

There are many consequences that having sex can bring, and thinking through the consequences before actually doing it is an important part of becoming emotionally prepared to do it for the first time.

Thinking Through The Consequences

Before you make the decision to have sex, take some time to imagine the different consequences that could arise from having sex right now. Think about what you might do in a given situation, and don’t be afraid to talk to your partner and get on the same page with them about what actions you both would take if one of these situations would arise.

What Will You Do If You Get Pregnant?

Even if you take steps to protect yourself during intercourse (such as using condoms), the risk of an unwanted pregnancy still exists. In fact, even with condoms, spermicide, birth control and pulling out, there still is a tiny, tiny chance that an egg could become fertilized. Having safer sex is all about reducing your risks, however, you must realize that the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy is to abstain from it completely.

That said, take some time to think about what would happen if you actually did become pregnant after having sex. What options are available to you? Would you consider abortion, or adoption? Would you consider rearranging your life to raise a baby? Think about the steps you would take if you were to get pregnant so you have a plan of action if the situation would actually come up.

What Will You Do If You Get A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

Any sex ed program will tell you – even if you use condoms during sex, it is possible to contract an STD from a partner that is infected. Before committing to have sex, think about what protection you’re going to put into place to reduce your risk of getting an STD. Will you use condoms? Will you get regular STD and HIV testing done? Will you require your partner to have an STD test?

You may also want to do some research on how different STD’s are transmitted and how they are treated. HIV is a very scary disease, but with modern technology and medical treatments, the life expectancy of an HIV positive person is almost that of a healthy person. Some STD’s are treated with antibiotics, while others cannot be “cured.”

What Will You Do If You Break Up With The Person You Lost Your Virginity To?

Condoms and birth control can reduce your risk of unwanted pregnancy and STD’s, however, they can’t reduce the risk you take of not being with the person you lost your virginity to forever. Before committing to taking this step with someone, take some time to think out how you might feel if you end up breaking up with the person you lost your virginity to. Are you going to be emotionally or mentally scarred? Will you be able to move on with your life and still have healthy relationships with others?

When Your Body Lets You Know You’re Ready For Reproduction

This is basic sex ed – a girl’s body is prepared for reproduction when she begins having her period. This simply means that the ovaries are dropping eggs and because they’re unfertilized, a girl has her period and sheds the lining of the uterus. It actually has nothing to do with whether a girl is really prepared for it or not, because just because your body is saying that it is primed to make a baby, doesn’t mean that it’s time for you to go there.

More and more girls are starting to get their periods at a younger age, sometimes even as young as ten or eleven (and in rare cases, even younger than that). This solidifies the fact that just because a girl has started her period, it does not mean she is ready to have sex with a man.

No One Can Decide For You

Remember that deciding to have sex (or not to have sex) is something that only you can decide for yourself. Your parents may not want you to do it yet and your friends may be urging you to do it, but only you and your partner can decide when the right time to have intercourse really is. And even if your partner decides that he’s prepared, the ultimate decision is really up to you and you alone. Don’t let anyone try to take your decision away from you.

Make Sure You’re With The Right Person

While you may feel emotionally and physically ready to have intercourse for the first time, stop and think about if you’re really with the right person. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to lose my virginity to this person?” Make sure your partner is someone that you care deeply about (and who also cares deeply about you) and that they’re someone you can truly trust and depend on. Don’t just do it for the sake of doing it, because you could be making a huge mistake.

If you wait until you’re really prepared to have intercourse and you wait until you’re in the right relationship, it is going to be much better and much more rewarding than if you had simply given in to someone you really didn’t care about just to get it over with.

Keep The Laws In Mind

While the last thing you’re probably thinking about is when you’re legally okay to have sex, if you’re younger than eighteen, it’s important to think about the legal aspect of things. Statutory rape is not something your partner wants on his record (if he’s older than you). It’s also something that you don’t want on your record if you’re older than eighteen and your partner is younger. Keep in mind that the legal age to give sexual consent is usually eighteen and is actually seventeen in some states. Play it safe and make sure you’re keeping everything legal.

Get Informed

Don’t assume that your local sex ed program is going to give you all the information you need to know on having intercourse and how to do it safely, especially if the only sex ed program offered in your area is an abstinence only course. Take some time to research the different aspects of sex, how to enjoy it, how to make your partner enjoy it and how to keep it safe, fun and clean. Think about oral and anal sex too, and how to stay safe during those activities too. Remember that knowledge is power.

How To Give Her An Emotionally Supercharged Orgasm

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 14:00:54 +0000

An orgasm can be absolutely amazing or it can be a huge letdown – and it can also be anywhere in between, from mediocre to almost great. For women, an orgasm becomes incredible when she feels strong emotions during sex and climax – even more so than using the best techniques. For a woman, the ultimate orgasm comes from feeling amazing both physically and emotionally. Here’s how you can give your lover a wall-shaking orgasm, leaving your lover completely blissed out and feeling great inside and out.

Feeling Strong Emotions During Sex Can Make It More Intense

Of course, women respond much better than men to emotional stimuli, but experiencing strong feelings during sex can make it great for both you and your partner.

Why It’s Great For Her

Women are emotional creatures, to put it simply. They attach emotion to everything, whether positive or negative. When they remember things, they remember more about how they felt about what happened rather than remembering exactly what happened in a play-by-play. Women will also react differently to things based on how they feel – whether they’re happy, angry, upset, sad or frustrated.

Use this to your advantage by manipulating your lover’s emotions during sex and getting your woman to experience everything you’re doing while she’s feeling loved, cherished and emotionally close to you.

Why It’s Great For You

While guys get a bad rap for only caring about the physical aspect of sex, experiencing strong feelings during sex can make it better for a man too. Since guys can pretty much tune into sex and oral sex at the drop of a hat, it’s easier to play into a man’s emotions during sex than any other time because his guard is down.

For a man, feeling emotionally close to their partner during sex can give them the confidence they need to really let go and get into it, as well as have an incentive to give their partners pleasure. A man that doesn’t feel emotionally close to his partner during sex isn’t going to care as much about making your girl feel good too – and she won’t return the favor. A woman who feels safe and loved during sex is going to want to give her partner a blowjob or do other things to make him feel extra special physically.

How To Use “I Love You” To Make Her Orgasm Amazing

A woman wants to feel loved and cherished by her man – period. She wants to feel safe with him and that he cares very much about what she thinks and how she’s feeling. You can make your lover feel this way during sex – right before orgasm – by asking your partner to say “I love you” right before she’s about to climax. Then, have your partner say it over and over again until she’s lost herself in the throes of a sheet soaking orgasm.

If the phrase “I love you” doesn’t work for your girl, you can also ask her to use other phrases such as “I want you” or “I need you” over and over again as she’s reaching climax.

Make Her Feel Blissed Out Afterwards

This is really a two part sex technique, because you’re not going to stop after just getting your woman to say “I love you” (or whatever other phrase you have chosen) while she’s having an orgasm. You’re also going to follow up with a super sweet, soft kiss after she’s finished, and you’re going to tell your partner that you love her while looking deeply into your lover’s eyes. Bonus points if you cuddle with your lover for a few minutes afterward.

To break it down, what you’ve done when asking your partner to tell you that she loves you over and over while she’s having an orgasm, you have made your lover realize how much she really does love you at the moment that she’s experiencing a physical release. This will make your girl feel more emotionally close to you than she ever has before.

When you follow it up with a sweet, soft kiss and an “I love you” of your own, you’re making your partner feel loved and safe – all while she’s experiencing all of these other positive, wonderful emotions and at the same time, while she’s feeling all of the amazing physical sensations of orgasm.

This is an incredibly powerful way to bond with your partner both sexually and emotionally. When done correctly, this technique will make you and your partner feel closer than ever.

Using This Technique During Oral Sex

You can also use this technique during cunnilingus to make your woman feel even more special – since you’re only giving her physical pleasure and getting none yourself.

What makes using this technique during oral sex so powerful is because you’re focused completely on your partner and her pleasure. Then, after she’s had an orgasm, you’re going to do the same thing – give your lover a soft, sweet kiss and tell her you love her while looking deeply into her eyes. She will feel absolutely incredible and so in-tune with you that she’ll want to immediately return the favor.

How Many Dates Should You Wait Before Going All The Way?

Andrew Wang — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 19:05:40 +0000

When you have sex with someone for the first time, it can be a wonderful new experience. It can also be a bit of a disaster, especially if you rush into things without thinking. Sometimes it can be hard to decide when the timing is right to become physically intimate.

In addition to the pressure you feel from within yourself, you may also be feeling pressure from your new love interest, along with the pressures of societal norms. So how can you tell when to make that next move? A little introspection, a discussion or two with your partner, and the ability to go with your gut can all help.

When Is The Right Time To Have Sex?

There is a lot of conventional wisdom out there about when to have sex. Some people think you should hold off until marriage, and others think you should just hold off until the third date. Tempting as it can be to take an established rule as your own, the truth is that you’ll only really be happy if you go for it when you feel that you’re ready.

That means that you need to do some serious thinking. Review your past sexual experiences. Do you feel that you’ve jumped into having sex too quickly before, to the detriment of your past relationships? Or has your experience shown you that there’s no need to put things off? Of course, if you have no past experience because this is your first time ever, you’ll have to turn to other methods of determining your readiness.

Deciding What Is Right For YOU

Whether you’re experienced or not, you’re going to want to further check in with yourself. As far as introspection goes, you should do a little pros and cons analysis. What are all of the good things that you’ll get from sleeping together at this particular point in time, and what are the possible negative consequences? If the negatives outweigh the positives, you should probably hold off a bit longer.

You also need to acknowledge that, once you’ve finally had sex, it may not be as spectacular as you’d hoped it would be. If it goes poorly, that could be the end of things. If you’re not ready to run that risk, you may not be ready for sex with this person, either. Some people are into casual sex, and others feel they need to be in love before they can engage in it.

It’s important for you to truthfully acknowledge which side of the line you fall on. Trying to go against your true feelings is a mistake, particularly if you’re someone that needs to be in love. You may feel regret after the fact, which will sully the experience for you.

How Does Your Partner Feel About When To Have Sex?

Once you’ve established how you feel about it and decide that you’re ready, you need to have that conversation with your S.O. Tell them you’re hoping to take things to the next level, but want to know how they feel about it. Plus, as non-romantic as it may be, you should discuss birth control and STD prevention with them.

If one of you isn’t prepared to take the appropriate measures, that person also isn’t ready to be having sex. Once the two of you are on common ground, let things happen as they may. When the mood is right, you’ll both know it. Don’t let yourself worry about what anyone other than you and your partner think, whether you sleep together on your first date or your wedding night. Clear up all of your worries in advance, and you’ll have that much more energy to focus on enjoying your first time.

9 Handjob Techniques That Will Make Him Beg For More

Kaylen Jackson — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 14:00:29 +0000

A handjob is often severely underrated by both guys and gals. Guys assume that if they can masturbate, why do they want to have their woman do it for them? Especially if he can have a blowjob or have sex instead? Girls often assume that guys don’t want a handjob for the very same reason. However, a handjob can be absolutely divine if done correctly. Here are nine handjob techniques that will make your man beg fore more.

Hold His Scrotum Right Before He Is About To Orgasm

Right before your man is about to have an orgasm, lightly grab hold of his testicles, cupping them in your palm. If he enjoys firmer pressure, feel free to grasp more firmly or tug a little, depending on what feels best for him. Having this extra stimulation on his scrotum will intensify his orgasm, as well as allow you to feel his ejaculation from beginning to end.

Have Him Thrust With His Pelvis

Instead of moving your hands alone while your partner sits or lies and receives his handjob, have him thrust with his pelvis while you hold your hands still. Not only does this make getting a handjob feel much different for him, it will also make him feel more in control of his climax. He may be able to reach orgasm faster this way, and it may be a technique you want to use if he takes a long time to reach climax through manual stimulation.

Form “Rings” With Your Thumb And Forefingers

Take your thumb and forefinger and touch them together, forming a “ring” with your fingers. Apply a generous amount of lube to your partner’s penis, and slip the “ring” over his shaft, moving it up and down. Tighten your fingers together as much as is pleasurable to your man. Doing this softly or firmly will change the sensations and you can mix it up between the two for different feelings. You can also increase the pleasure factor of this technique by using both hands – two “rings” instead of one.

Rub Only The Tip Of His Penis

This works well if your partner is uncircumcised or has a very sensitive penis. If he doesn’t and requires firm stimulation of his shaft or scrotum to reach climax, this technique will not work as well. To do this, place a dollop or two of lube in your hand and rub your palm in circular motions over the head of his penis. Hold his shaft with your other hand (or have him hold it for you) so that his penis stays in place. This technique can also be applied to a blowjob as well by simply keeping your mouth on the tip of the penis.

Use Both Hands

Instead of using one hand to give your lover a handjob, why not try using two? Rub the tip of his penis with one hand as indicated above, while massaging his scrotum or stroking his shaft with the other. He’ll love the sensation of two hands on his penis, because the majority of men only use one hand on themselves during masturbation.

Blindfold Him

While it’s true that men are visual creatures (duh – that’s why porn exists), sensory deprivation can be just as hot. Bring this element in to a handjob to make it extra sensational by blindfolding him when you start. The idea of not knowing what is coming next or exactly what you’re doing to create the sensations he’s feeling will get him hotter than ever.

Masturbate – With His Penis

To give yourself pleasure while you’re pleasuring him, try rubbing his penis against your clitoris. You can rub the length of the shaft on it or simply just rub the head of it against you. Either way, it will feel absolutely divine for both you and him. Just make sure you use lots of good lube so everything is nice and slippery.

Describe The Handjob To Him As You’re Doing It

Dirty talk is a great way to spice up just about any sex act, especially a handjob. Describe what you’re going to do to him before you do it, what you’re doing as you do it, what it feels like for you and how much you love it. Use lots of sensual, descriptive language like “hard” or “throbbing.”

Bring In Props

Don’t be afraid to bring a few sex toys into the bedroom when giving your partner a handjob. Male masturbators feel absolutely amazing for guys when used with lube, and cock rings can prolong his erection and make each sensation much more powerful. Experiment with different sex toys to change up the different styles of pleasure you can give him with your hands.

7 Ways To Be A Naughty, Dirty Girl – And Drive Him Wild!

Kaylen Jackson — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 14:00:07 +0000

When it comes to sex, every guy wants a naughty girl in bed – even if he insists you act like a lady in public (and he probably does). You’ve probably heard of the phrase, “a lady in the living room and a freak in the bedroom.” Here are seven ways to let your inner dirty girl out and surprise him with these salacious moves that will have him all but tearing your clothes off.

Give Him Oral Sex – While He’s On The Phone

Next time he’s on the phone with his boss or a business partner, surprise him by unzipping his pants and giving him an impromptu blowjob. He’ll love the unexpectedness of it, and it will definitely be difficult for him to hide his pleasure on the phone. In fact, his inability to concentrate on what he’s saying to the person on the other end of the phone is part of what makes this daring move oh-so-sexy. Just keep your cool when he’s on the phone with his mother – that could be creepy.

Wear A Wig To Bed

Almost every guy dreams of getting the green light from his girl to get it on with another woman, even if he is committed to being completely monogamous. Indulge his fantasies by purchasing a wig (and a new outfit if you have the funds) and wearing it to bed. If he likes Asian girls, try slipping on a short, dark bob with bangs. If he likes redheads, grab the fieriest one you can find. He’ll love the idea of going to bed with “someone else.”

Bend Over And Let Him Take You – When He Least Expects It

When you’re feeling a little frisky and you and your man are alone, bend over and tell him to take you from behind. If you do this out of nowhere, when he least expects it, it will make him hotter than blacktop in August. Take his hand and lead him to the couch, the washer or the kitchen table (anywhere but the bedroom ups the naughty factor) and allow him to slip your panties off as you bend over for some doggy style lovin’.

Surprise Him With Naughty Pictures Of You

We know that guys are visual creatures – but even with all that porn he watches, what he really wants to see is you. Grab your digital camera and have a friend snap a few pics of your goods for your man to marvel when he’s alone. You can also do it yourself if you’re really shy – but honestly, having someone else take the photos will give you a much, much better end result.

If you have the money and are comfortable being nude in front of a professional, spring for some high end nude photos done by a professional photographer. A professional will make the lighting just right (which is super important for hiding flaws) and make sure the photos are taken at just the right angle. Any blemishes or imperfections can also be edited out. Professional is the way to go if you really want to give him a sultry, sexy keepsake gift. However, any nude photos of you will be enough to fuel his masturbatory fantasies for weeks.

Let Him Wrestle You Into Bed

Next time you and your love are getting ready to do it, give him a “hint” that you’re going to pretend that you actually don’t want to do it. Giving him a hint ahead of time is important, because he may get the wrong signal if you just pretend not to want it. Tell him that you want him to be a little forceful when wrestling you into bed as you squirm and try to get away. Then he can pin your hands or tie them up (if you like bondage) as he has his way with you.

This plays into the “rape” fantasy somewhat, but you and your partner definitely don’t have to take it so far as to make it feel like actual rape. A little bit of resistance from you and a little bit of force from him is all it takes to make you and your man feel like you’re doing something really taboo and naughty.

Let Him Catch You Masturbating – Then Ask Him To Join The Fun

Start masturbating just a few minutes before he gets home from work – just long enough to get yourself really aroused and ready for sex, but not long enough to actually give yourself an orgasm. Leave the bedroom door cracked open (or do it on the couch where he’ll see you full on as soon as he walks in – if you’re really brave) and make some noise so he doesn’t have to wonder what you’re doing in there for long.

When he “catches” you doing your thing, let him watch for a few minutes and then ask him to join in and finish you off. He’ll be more than happy to oblige!

Take Off Your Panties – In Public

When you and your love are out on a date, head to the bathroom to “freshen up.” In the bathroom, remove your panties and slip them into your purse. You will of course, want to make sure that you either bought or wore special panties for the occasion – “granny panties” just won’t do. When you head back to your table, make sure you make eye contact with your man and give him a big, naughty smile.

He’ll wonder what you were up to in there and when the waiter isn’t looking, slip him your panties under the table. Whisper in his ear that you’re not wearing anything now. Tell him that he turned you on so much that your panties were too wet to wear anymore. Bonus points if you can make it believable by rubbing your clitoris and actually getting yourself wet in the bathroom before you slip your panties off.

Sex – What Guys REALLY Want (And What They’re Afraid To Tell You)

Kaylen Jackson — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 14:00:16 +0000

When it comes to sex, every guy has their preferences. However, there are some things that pretty much every guy wants a woman to do. The thing is, there are so few guys that actually want to tell their lovers what they want! Ladies, while reading his mind is pretty much impossible, take these cues to find out what your guy likes – and then surprise him with his secret sex fantasy!

They Want A Girl Who Will Masturbate (In Front Of Him)

Some women feel that it’s the guys’ job to make her feel good. Most guys don’t have any problem providing their partner with a mind blowing orgasm, however, sometimes they wish that a girl would take charge of her own sexual pleasure. Ladies, it requires at least a little effort on your part to get yourself in the mood, so why not take it a little further?

A lot of guys (okay, most) would love to watch their girl masturbate, especially if she had no idea he was there watching. What is so hot about this is that during female masturbation, he gets to watch you touch yourself exactly how you like to be touched. There’s no guessing if it’s the right thing or it feels good. He gets to see first hand what really turns you on and it will turn him on like wild fire!

They Want To Watch – In The Mirror

Guys are visual creatures – that’s pretty much a given. A lot of men enjoy watching porn for that specific reason, but does that mean that they enjoy watching the other women because they’re hotter than you or because they turn him on more than you? Absolutely not! In fact, your guy would probably give his eye teeth to actually watch you and him getting it on!

Filming a naughty video together is great fun, but there’s always the risk that it will get out, especially if you and your man don’t work out in the end. Instead, surprise him by installing a full length mirror in your bedroom – the bigger, the better. Allow him to watch you getting it on – he’ll love getting to watch it in real time, as it’s happening and he’ll love getting to feel exactly what he’s seeing. Try lots of different sex positions so he can see you from every angle.

They Want A Girl Who Is Not Afraid To Get Dirty

Let’s face it – guys don’t want to get it on with a prude. If all you’re into is the missionary position, he’s probably not going to be that into you. Almost every guy wants to get busy with a girl who isn’t afraid to bring on the kink! Try out a little light bondage to get started, and then move into something a little naughtier.

Whether you’re indulging his secret sex fetish or coming to bed wearing nothing but tall, black stilettos and a rhinestone necklace, he’s going to love that you’re showing off your naughty girl side.

They Want A Girl To Take Control

Sometimes guys want to have the reigns, but other times they want the girls to be in control over what happens and when. They just want to lie back and relax, while you savor every inch of their body. Surprise him one night by tying him up (this is optional if he’s not into bondage) and having your way with him! Let him lie there and get a good look at you while you give him oral sex, then go for the woman-on-top or reverse cowgirl sex position, depending on what he likes to look at best – your breasts or your butt.

They Want A Girl Who Will Give A Blowjob – And Likes It

Sure, most girls will give a guy a blowjob. Some won’t. The true gem, however, is the girl who loves giving a guy a blowjob! Blowjobs are probably in the #1 spot on the list of “Sex Acts That Guys Can’t Live Without.” Think about this – how enjoyable is it when a guy goes down on you like it’s a chore and like he really doesn’t want to be down there? It kind of puts a damper on the whole thing, doesn’t it?

Give your guy a blowjob like you never have before. Act like you’re starving to death or it will be the end of the world if you don’t get him in your mouth right now. Make sure that he knows you’re really enjoying going down on him by making pleasure noises while you lick and suck him, and making eye contact with him. He’ll really appreciate your enthusiasm and he just very well might return the favor!

They Want Rough Sex

Every guy wants to pound a girl into orgasmic frenzy, but very few men will actually tell their partners that. This is usually because he’s afraid to hurt her. If you enjoy rough sex, don’t be shy about it with your lover. Next time you have sex with your man, assume the doggy style position and tell him that you want it fast and you want it hard. He’ll happily oblige!

Sometimes rough sex can become unsafe, so it’s important to take a few precautions first. Decide beforehand on a safe word so that if it becomes too much, you can use the word to let your partner know that you want it to stop immediately. Don’t forget to use lots of lube!

They Want A Girl Who Has Confidence

Confidence is sexy! Unfortunately, lots of women – no matter how hot or how beautiful they are – are insecure about themselves and the way they look and have low self esteem. However, what your guy sees when he looks at you (especially when he looks at you naked) is not the same as what you see in the mirror. Let go of your insecurities and inhibitions and look at yourself the way your partner looks at you. See what he sees and show it off! Men love women who have the confidence to show their bodies off during sex, because men love naked women – period.

Public Displays Of Affection: Where Do You Draw The Line?

Andrew Wang — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 23:00:55 +0000

Public displays of affection aren’t at all uncommon. Love and amazing sexual chemistry can be like blinders on a horse. You’re out with your significant other, and all you can see or focus on is them. That’s a wonderful feeling to be sure, but you have to be careful about just how far you go when you’re out in public. This is not only because no one really wants to be that inappropriately gross couple, but also because you never know who might be around.

If you’re dry-humping on a blanket in the park and your boss or your grandmother happens to stroll by and see you, you are going to be in for some major embarrassment. Consider your surroundings and the likelihood of such a scenario occurring before you start getting hot and heavy.

Location, Location, Location

Engaging in appropriate levels of PDA is not unlike purchasing real estate—it’s all about location, location, location. There are loads of questions to ask yourself when you’re out with your S.O. and feeling frisky.

Are you somewhere that relatives or co-workers of yours often frequent?
Is the location the kind of place where lots of children will be around, like a playground or amusement park?

In these scenarios, it’s probably best to go no further than some hand-holding and the occasional kiss or two. Your company’s friends and family picnic is hardly the appropriate place to make out with your boyfriend or girlfriend for an hour.

On the other hand, if you’re out dancing at a club, you’ll be much more likely to get away with lots of kissing and getting handsy. If you’re on some tropical getaway where you don’t know anyone, you can feel free to indulge yourselves as well. As long as you’re not doing anything that might get you arrested if you get caught, there’s really no need to worry.

Even if someone walks down the beach at night and sees you fooling around on a lounge chair, the odds that you’ll ever encounter that person again are slim-to-none.

How Dark Is It?

Light levels are another important factor to take into consideration. If you’re out in broad daylight or in a well-lit room surrounded by people, everyone will know exactly what you’re up to. If you’re in the last row in a dark movie theater or the back corner booth at a bar with low-lighting, most of your antics will be obscured from the general population’s view.

It’s even better if you can make sure that you’re located out of the sightline of most of the people in the space you’re in. Again, the last row in a dark theater works if there’s really no one sitting near you. If the theater is packed, you might want to keep your activity to a minimum. You probably wouldn’t want to be sitting directly next to a strange girl giving her guy a handjob if the situation was reversed, so show the people sitting near you the same respect.

The Defining Question….

Perhaps that’s the most important factor to consider. If you were out and about and saw a strange couple doing what you’re about to do, how would you feel about it? When we’re head-over-heels, it can be difficult to keep a grasp on what’s acceptable or not.

It’s easy to feel that we’re different—an exception to the rule. So pull yourself out of the situation for a minute and imagine if you were the accidental observer of the movie theater blowjob or the heavy makeout session at the mall. Showing others the courtesy that you would expect will typically help you from going too far when it comes to PDA.

How To Make After-Sex Moments Romantic

Kaylen Jackson — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 14:00:35 +0000

After sex, guys are notorious for rolling over and going to sleep. Girls, on the other hand, may get up and rush to the bathroom to get cleaned up right after a man ejaculates inside her. However, these activities can absolutely kill any romantic mood you had going and make the sex seem less than amazing. Try these tips to bask in the after-sex glow and turn up the romance after getting busy.

Get Unplugged

In the age of technology, hardly anyone goes anywhere without their laptops, Kindles or iPhones and this includes the bedroom. Your guy may want to flip on the game after doing it, while you may want to text your best friend to tell her the amazing new thing your man did during oral sex.

Instead of turning on the television, checking your email or uploading a book to your e-reader, take some time to get unplugged after having sex. If you have to, turn everything off before you get busy so you’re not tempted. You may want to even go so far as to turn off your phones so that no one can bother you while you enjoy some quiet time with your partner after an amazing orgasm or two.

Soap Down With An After-Sex Shower

You and your lover may both want to clean up after sex, but that doesn’t mean you have to make it all business and no fun. Shower sex is great, but you can make having a shower after sex just as much fun! Light some candles or use dimmer switches if you have them and create a little ambiance before you start the water. You can also use your favorite scented body wash or soap and make an event out of it.

Relish the feel of your partner’s skin underneath your hands as you lather up, taking special care of his package to show your partner how good it made you feel just minutes earlier. Wash each other’s hair, giving each other a nice scalp massage in the process. After your shower, put on some comfortable pajamas and head to bed. You’ll both feel amazing after having great sex, great orgasms, a long hot shower and slipping into something that feels nice!

Do A Reverse Strip Tease

After having morning sex, it’s often depressing to watch your partner put their clothes on to get ready for the day. Instead of letting it bum you out, give your partner a sexy, reverse strip tease by putting their clothes on for them. Slowly put your partner’s underwear and socks on, kissing their stomach and legs as you go.

Then, button his shirt up slowly, looking him directly in the eyes as you do it. Finish by putting on his tie for him. He’ll love feeling your hands all over him as you put his clothes on, and you’ll really make him feel like you love him. Make it even sexier by doing a reverse strip tease for him, by slowly putting your clothes on while he watches. Make sure it’s something sexy!

Have A Romantic Meal Afterwards

Most big dates are planned with the romantic dinner at the start of the date and sex afterwards. Instead of going the cliche route, mix it up a little by having sex first and then heading out (or staying in) for a romantic meal! It’s a great way to keep things fresh and exciting without going too far outside your box.

If you don’t feel like going out, order in your favorite meal and have it delivered (and eat it off each other if you like!) or serve something simple like wine and cheese or hors d’oeuvres. Top it off with a relaxing nightcap for the perfect evening!

Make Out

Making out is often what preludes sex, but why not make it the follow up event? Instead of simply going to sleep, heading off to work or doing other mundane things after having mind blowing sex with your lover, try spending several minutes just kissing him deeply and enjoying the feel of each other.

Part of what makes making out less fun when you’re in a relationship with someone is that you pretty much know where it’s going to lead. Pretty soon, you’ll feel a hand on your breast or butt and the game will be on. By making out with your lover after sex, you bring back the element of surprise that made just kissing so much fun when you and your partner first got together!

Sex Acts That Will Scare Her Away – For Good

Kaylen Jackson — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 14:00:32 +0000

Sex with your girl can be super fun – or it can be super scary for her if you aren’t careful to keep things from going too far. It may seem like common sense to stay away from anal sex or rape fantasies the first several times you have sex with a girl, but you’d be surprised at what guys will try without thinking about how a girl will react to it. While some chicks dig a little BDSM in the bedroom, there are a few things that you’ll want to avoid if you don’t want to scare her away for good.

Scary Looking Sex Toys

Some sex toys are fine to use with a woman you haven’t been with for very long, such as slender or bullet style vibrators, lubes and feather ticklers. These are fairly benign and probably won’t freak a girl out or offend her, even if she’s never used sex toys before. What a girl doesn’t want to see in your bedroom are huge dildos, anal beads or whips. Large contraptions that look like they could service several people at once will definitely scare your girl off. Until you really get to know her and talk to her about what sex toys she likes, keep the scary stuff in the drawer of your nightstand.

Forced Sex

It’s true – some girls have rape fantasies. Granted, they are few and far between but there are women out there who enjoy the idea of forced sex. However, these women are generally only comfortable having fun with their fantasies with someone they know well, trust a lot and have been with for a long time. Don’t assume that any girl will enjoy forced sex, because it’s much more likely that she won’t – and she may assume that you’re really trying to date rape her. At best, your partner is going to be scared away – and at worst, you may face rape charges.

Dirty Talk That Goes Too Far

Most girls like to know that they’re pleasing the guy they’re with. That means, don’t be shy on the sexy moans, noises and gasps that let her know you’re really into what she’s doing. Even a little dirty talk can be acceptable for many women, if you’re telling her what a good job she’s doing sending you over the edge to orgasm. What is not okay when it comes to dirty talk is when you call her names (such as “bitch” or “slut”) or when you talk about doing really strange or scary things (such as wanting to pretend she’s your sister or that she’s an animal).

Anal Sex – If She’s Not Expecting It

While a lot of girls are into anal sex and anal play, it’s definitely a line you don’t want to cross until you talk to the girl you’re with about how she feels about anal sex. Some guys think that it’s hotter if they surprise a girl with a finger up her bum, but in truth, it will probably just freak her out and may make her want to stop having sex with you all together. If you really want to try anal sex with a girl, wait until you’ve done it with her several times and talk to her about it beforehand.

Hitting Or Choking Her

It is almost never acceptable to hit or choke a woman during sex. Light slapping is sometimes okay if you get permission first, but actual hitting is something just about every girl is going to find absolutely detestable. The same goes for choking – erotic asphyxiation is dangerous and will definitely scare your woman and possibly hurt her if she’s not expecting it. Hitting and choking are just two things that need to be kept off limits for you and your partner’s safety.

Fetish Play That You Haven’t Talked About First

While pretty much everyone has a fetish of some kind or another, some people find other fetishes (ones beside their own) very strange and weird. Don’t break out your fetish supplies until you’ve discussed them with your partner, and definitely don’t spring them on her without asking her permission first. Avoid dirty talk about your fetish, and keep it under wraps until you’ve been with her several times and have gotten to know her well. For her to want to try a fetish with you, she’ll need to trust you and feel very comfortable around you sexually. It usually takes a while for girls to warm up to guys this way, so cool your heels on introducing her to your fetish for awhile.

8 Sex Fantasies That She’s Absolutely Dying To Try

Kaylen Jackson — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 14:00:30 +0000

Every woman has secret sex fantasies that she wants to try, but many girls are too shy or nervous to introduce their sex fantasies to their boyfriends or husbands. Here are eight sex fantasies that almost every woman wants to try at one time or another and how you can gently lead her into playing along with you in the sex fantasies of her dreams!

She Wants To Teach You A Lesson

It’s a good bet that your partner wants to teach you a sexy lesson. The teacher/student fantasy is one that a lot of women (and men) have and it’s an easy one to do. You don’t have to have any special costumes or spend money on anything to get started. Call her “Mrs. ____” and ask her to “teach” you how to give her oral sex or finger her. See if she gives you “detention” for being a bad boy!

She Wants To Do It With Someone She’s Never Met

Sex with a stranger is something every woman fantasizes about at one time or another. While you probably don’t want to see her go out and bang someone she’s never met before, you can play into her fantasy with just a little bit of dirty talk. When she comes home from work and the two of you sit down for dinner, introduce yourself to her and tell her that you’ve been eyeing her from across the room and would love to meet her. If she plays along, lead her to the bathroom for a quick and dirty romp.

She Wants You To Pull Her Hair

In many cultures, women are taught to be submissive to men. In fact, the desire to be submissive to a man stems from generations and generations ago when women had to rely on men for many more things than they do now. Play into your partner’s desire to be dominated by you and tug her hair a little when she gives you a blowjob. If she likes it, make a point to spank her a little when you start getting busy!

She Wants To Tie You Up

A part of her wants to be dominated by you, but the other part of her wants to dominate you. Chances are, she’s fantasized at one point or another about doing bondage with you and tying you up while she has her way with you. Since this is probably something you would love her to do as well, introduce her to it by wearing a blindfold to bed (a silk tie or scarf works well) and handing her a pair of handcuffs or a tie for your hands. This also works well if you do it on her first and then let her do it to you!

She Wants To Have Sex In Public

Most women dream about having sex in public, but they’ve never taken the chance in real life to actually do it. Satisfy her desire for exhibitionism by taking her somewhere you can have sex (check out these amazing sex places) or surprising her next time she’s in the dressing room at the mall.

She Wants To Play With Your Prostate

Sure, she’s given you an amazing orgasm by just giving you a blowjob or a handjob. But she’s probably read about the “male g-spot” or a man’s prostate and how much better an orgasm can be for a guy with a little prostate massage thrown in. She’s most likely fantasized about being the first one to touch you there, or about being the woman that can give you the most amazing orgasms. Let her insert her finger next time she goes down on you and see what happens!

She Wants You To Rim Her

A lot of women fantasize about their partners going down on them, but her idea of great oral sex and your idea of giving great oral sex may be very different. Lots of girls imagine their guys going down on them and putting their tongue everywhere and exploring places that have never been licked or sucked before. Satisfy her craving for amazing oral sex by spreading her legs and letting your tongue go places it has never gone before instead of just licking her clitoris.

She Wants You To Talk Dirty To Her

Almost every woman has fantasized about dirty talk at one time or another. She wants to hear exactly how good it feels when she touches you, licks you or gives you a handjob. She also wants to hear how much you love doing things to her!

Q&A: I Want Him To Touch Me More When We Make Out

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:00:31 +0000

When kissing your lover, you may want to move on to some heavy petting but he may not seem ready to – at least, on the surface. Is it because he really doesn’t want to go that far or because he’s afraid he’s going to touch you the wrong way and upset you for going too far? Chances are, it’s the latter. Here’s how to get him to try a little foreplay while you’re making out!

Question: I want my boyfriend to touch me more when we’re making out. Can you help me on how to encourage that?

–YouTube Viewer

Is He Afraid To Make The First Move?

A lot of guys – especially guys who have been in relationships before – have been chastised for doing something wrong or touching a woman in the wrong way while making out or using foreplay. He may be unsure where to touch you or how you like to be touched, so he may just be afraid to make the first move in fear of doing something wrong or touching you in a way that might offend you or turn you off.

If you think he’s afraid to make the first move, try talking to him about it when you’re not making out, such as over lunch or a romantic dinner. Let him know without criticizing him that you love kissing him and making out with him, but you would love it even more if you could feel his hands on your body. Be sure to let him know how far is too far though – if you’re not ready for sex, let him know where you’re going to draw the line. It will only make things worse if you give him the go ahead to touch you while you’re kissing each other but you have to reprimand him as soon as he goes “too far.” Make sure he knows ahead of time what is okay and what makes you uncomfortable.

Gently Guide Him Verbally

When you’re in the moment, it’s super sexy to whisper into your lover’s ear what you’d like him to do next. Guys really love this for two reasons – because your hot breath in his ear turns him on and because your guidance means that he doesn’t have to guess at what to do and when to do it. This will help him to learn what you like and when you like it, because a lot of guys (actually, most guys) aren’t sure when to move forward because they just don’t want to cross that line without the go-ahead from you.

This is also a great time to introduce dirty talk! Guys love dirty talk and it’s a great way to really heat things up while you’re making out. Tell your partner in a sexy way what you want him to do – such as saying, “I love it when you pinch my nipples” or “I’d like you to touch my ____.” Also include descriptive words such as “hard, soft, slow, etc.” that not only lets him know where to make his next move, but also how you’d like it. This gives him confidence to actually make the moves, because he’s not scared he’s going to do something that will upset you or turn you off.

Give Him Positive Reinforcement

When he does something that you really enjoy, make sure you praise him and let him know that you liked it. You definitely want to let him know that you like something while he’s doing it by making noise or showing him with your body language that he hit the right spot, but you also want to follow that up with verbal encouragement as well. Men need to hear what they’re doing right if you want them to keep doing it – chances are, if you don’t give him that positive reinforcement, he’ll assume that he’s doing it wrong and stop, even if you absolutely love what he’s doing. Remember to keep the comments positive too – a negative comment will stick with him for a long time and negate all of the nice things you said. If you must redirect him, don’t tell him he’s doing something wrong – instead, let him know that you liked something else even better.

How To Show Him What You Like

Use chocolate sauce to highlight the areas you want him to lick and suck
Use a feather tickler to trace the path you want his mouth or hands to take around your body
Bring home a book on erotic massage and read it together – try the techniques on him first and then let him try them on you
Use your imagination to give your partner visual aids on where and how you want him to touch you!

Sexting: How To Use Curiosity Texts To Turn Her On Like Crazy

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:00:40 +0000

While sexting is a great way to get your partner turned on enough to rip your clothes off and jump your bones as soon as you walk in the door from work, getting started is no easy feat if you’re not sure how to break the ice. A racy text that talks about explicit sex isn’t something that you want to send if you haven’t gotten her to engage you in a sexy conversation first – in fact, it may very well offend her. Here’s how you can word the first “sexts” to get her thinking about more and open the door for racier conversation.

How To Get Started

Sending your partner a text that explicitly details everything you want to do to her tonight (or what you want her to do to you) without building her curiosity will most likely backfire and only serve to offend her and put her off the whole idea for good. Easing into sexting the right way is one of the most important things you need to do, especially if you want to be able to use sexting in the future to revv your lover’s sex drive and send her into a horny frenzy before the two of you even touch each other.

While not all of your sexts have to be PG-13, it’s very important that the first ones you send are. Just like you would want to use foreplay in the bedroom to turn her on and get her warmed up for sex, you want to flirt with her a little through your texts to get her ready to talk about more.

How To Engage Her Curiosity

Start by sending her texts that spark her curiosity and make her wonder just what exactly is going through your head. Your first text should be something she’s going to have to respond to, simply because it makes her that curious! If you start out by describing exactly how you want her to give you a blowjob later, that leaves no room for her to think and wonder and let her imagination run wild – because you definitely want to let her imagination run wild.

Examples Of Great Curiosity Building Sexts

To get started, try some of these steamy but not too revealing sexting examples to get her wondering what you’re thinking about and engage you in sexting. These examples will get her mind going, which is exactly what you want to happen. If her mind isn’t involved, she’s not going to get turned on!

“I can’t stop thinking about you….”
“Do you remember that amazing night we had awhile back?
“Tonight….”
“I can’t wait to see you….”
“I need to feel you….”
“When I think of you, everything gets harder”
“Do you know what I want to do?”
“Do you know what would look good on you?”
“Thinking of you is driving me crazy!”

Once your girl responds to the first text (which she will if you’ve piqued her interest), follow up by leading her in the direction you want to go – a subtle but steamy conversation that plays with her imagination and gets her mind thinking and fantasizing about YOU. This is how you can use sexting to turn your girl’s cell phone into an erotic novel – which is of course, way more effective for a woman than any other kind of stimulation. Women respond much better to anything that stimulates their brains and their imaginations – such as an erotic book – than they will to visual stimulation like pictures or videos.

You say: “I can’t stop thinking about you….” She says: “Why?” You say: “Because you turn me on sooooo much!”
You say: “Do you remember that amazing night we had awhile back?” She says: “Yes, why?” You say: “I’ve been wanting to do that again sooo bad.”
You say: “Do you know what would look good on you?” She says: “No, what?” You say: “Nothing….”

As you can see from these examples, the “….” in the text is probably one of the most important parts of the text itself. It’s what allows her imagination to roam and fill in the blanks. She’ll wonder what you’re really thinking, because you made it appear as though your thoughts weren’t finished. After you build her interest in playing the sexting game, you can start making your sexts hotter by suggesting what you’d like to do to her later – whether you want to see her wearing her sexiest lingerie or you want to surprise her with oral sex by lifting up her skirt as soon as she gets home.

Sexting: The Truth About Your Wife’s Sex Drive – And Why It’s Higher Than You Think

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 14:00:24 +0000

Sexting is an easy, convenient tool you can use to turn your partner on. A cell phone is something that you have on hand almost all the time, and it’s a way to have a hot, steamy conversation between you and your partner without anyone ever knowing about it. But if you assumed that your lover’s sex drive has decreased as she’s gotten older, quite the opposite is true. A man’s sex drive peaks out much, much earlier than a woman’s does and your wife’s libido has actually increased as she’s aged! You can access that libido with the simple push of a button and turn her on like never before. Here’s how!

Debunking The Myth That Women Don’t Like Sex

A common myth about women is that they don’t like sex. How many jokes have been made at a woman’s expense, suggesting that she’s frigid in the bedroom? Fortunately, the myth is just that – a myth. The truth of the matter is that women enjoy sex very, very much. In fact, a woman’s body was built specifically to enjoy sex and if stimulated correctly, women can reach amazing orgasms over and over again. A woman’s clitoris has no other function than to receive sexual pleasure and to give a woman an orgasm. While some women have never achieved an orgasm through sex or masturbation, the far majority of females enjoy sex with – or without – their partners to the fullest.

A Woman’s Sex Drive Goes Up As She Ages

While a man’s libido peaks out at about age eighteen, a woman doesn’t reach her full sexual potential until she’s reached her 30′s, 40′s or even her 50′s. What gives women the bad rap, however, is that increased sex drive isn’t as prominent as a horny guy’s is. Her libido lies beneath the surface. Because an older woman is an adult, society teaches her that she must remain professional and composed as often as possible. While she desires sex much more than she used to when she was younger, it is much more difficult for her to truly let go without the right provocation.

How To Access Her Sex Drive

It’s easy to turn a man on – usually all he needs is a little nudity and a naughty thought or two and he’s pitching a tent in his pants. Men are visual creatures and respond very well to visual stimuli such as videos and pictures of naked women or sexual acts. Women, of course, are wired differently and it takes a much different approach to really get underneath a woman’s skin (especially an older woman) and get her turned on and ready for sex. Ladies are more easily aroused when they are intellectually stimulated, such as through erotic stories or fantasies. They’ll get more turned on by reading a steamy, detailed description about oral sex than they will by watching someone perform it.

Use Sexting To Turn Her Cell Phone Into An Erotic Novel

So you know that to really turn your wife on, you have to stimulate her brain before her body will follow. You don’t need anything other than what you already have to do this – no special sex toys, outfits or anything that will cost you a lot of money. You can turn your wife on at the push of a button by sexting her. Sexts are texts that you send to your lover that describe sexy things you want to do to her, or what you want her to do to you. You can tell her how much she turns you on or what your fantasies with her are – with sexting, the possibilities are pretty much endless! By sending her a series of naughty, dirty texts, you’re basically turning her cell phone into her own personal erotic novel – one that is tailored just for her.

Why Does Sexting Turn Her On So Much?

Beneath her cool, professional exterior is a sultry sex goddess waiting to get out. By sexting her, you’re cracking that tough exterior and getting right to her sexual core. You’re speaking her language and having a secret, sexy conversation with her that no one else can see or hear. It’s a secret between you and her only, and it’s incredibly arousing for her. Sending her dirty texts throughout the day while she is at work or at home taking care of the kids or the house is extremely effective at getting her to want sex with you before you even walk through the door.

Sex Tips: Penetration – How Far Is Too Far?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 14:00:07 +0000

Sex positions like doggy style and some versions of the missionary position can angle the vagina for deeper penetration during sex, but this isn’t always something that is desirable. Sometimes, deep penetration during sex can hurt, especially if her vagina is smaller than your penis or she’s a virgin the first time you have sex with her. Here’s how to tell how far is too far when it comes to penetration and how to make it more comfortable for her when you want to go deeper.

Question: Hey guys, I was wondering when having sex, is there a certain amount of penetration you can go? Or if it doesn’t matter? For example, me and my girlfriend of 2 years were having sex in the doggy style position and when I stuck it in, she yelled and said it hurt. I’m thinking because I stuck it in to far! But really don’t know…please answer!

–YouTube Viewer

Vagina Size Matters

Just like penis size – both length and width – can differ greatly from guy to guy, vagina size can differ greatly from woman to woman. While the vagina is designed to stretch to accomodate a wide variety of penis sizes, every woman’s vagina is shaped and sized differently. Some women have vaginas that are longer but thinner, and others have vaginas that are smaller and shorter. Couple that with the effects that having a baby can have on vagina size and shape! If your girlfriend has a small sized vagina, deep penetration during different types of sex positions can cause discomfort and pain, especially if she’s not aroused. The vagina will stretch more to accomodate a larger penis and different angles of penetration during sex if she’s completely aroused and well lubricated. However, if your partner simply has a small vagina, you may want to try different sex positions that allow for more shallow penetration so you and her can both get off.

Why Sex Can Hurt Sometimes – And How To Prevent It

For a woman, sex can sometimes hurt – but this is not always because your penis is too large for her or her vagina is too small for your penis. Often, pain or discomfort during intercourse is caused by lack of arousal and not enough foreplay time. When a woman is not fully aroused before penetration, her vagina is tight and constricted, not to mention drier and less accomodating to an entering object. Think of an unaroused vagina as having a “Keep Out” sign on it. While you may feel some discomfort trying to get in there if she’s not turned on and wet, for her it will be downright painful. This is true regardless of which sex positions you use, so it is definetly to your girlfriend’s benefit to spend some time turning her on. Give her oral sex or finger her gently while kissing her deeply to get her turned on. Spend enough time on her to make sure that she is good and ready for sex. As she gets more aroused, her vagina will become relaxed and start to lubricate itself. Even after she is turned on, you may think she is wet enough for sex - but she’s probably not. Don’t forget to use lots and lots of good, water based lube! It never hurts to have lube on hand and many manufacturers make lube in easy to use bottles with a pump dispenser so you never have to fumble around for it.

Sex Postions That May Go Too Far If You’re Not Careful

Even if your partner is totally and completely turned on, there are still quite a few sex positions that may cause you to penetrate her vagina deeply enough to cause her pain or discomfort. Doggy style is probably one that will cause the deepest penetration, while missionary with her legs over your shoulders comes in a close second. Some women enjoy short bursts of deep penetration (especially if she likes a little bit of pain) but thrusting too deeply for long periods of time may be too painful for her. That doesn’t mean you have to stop using these sex positions all together though – all you have to do is modify your thrusting technique so you don’t push your penis in quite as far. This may be difficult to do when you’re approaching orgasm though, because once you’re in the throes of an orgasm, you may no longer be able to control yourself so you don’t thrust too deeply and hurt your partner. You may want to try a different sex position if you’re close to climax.

Q&A: My Husband Says I’m Too Fat Too Have Sex With Me

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 14:00:29 +0000

It’s not uncommon for a man to have a reduction in his sex drive as he gets older, but he may try to blame it on you. He may suggest that you are overweight and not attractive, or come up with some other reason as to why he doesn’t want to have sex with you – and it will probably end up being something that he consideres “your fault.” The truth is, however, that there are many reasons that a man can lose his sex drive as he gets older, including being a new parent among other things. Here’s how to find out the truth of the matter and whether it’s really you or something else.

Question: My husband is 30 & I’m 20 – he absolutely seems to hate having sex! We do it about 2 times a month, IF I’m lucky! He said it’s because I need to lose weight. (I’m 5 foot 5 inches and 165 pounds) He’s really rude about it. Is there a way to get him more turned on to where he’ll want to have sex despite how I look? I just had a baby 9 months ago. I’ve tried giving him a blowjob or a handjob, but when it comes to returning the favor he just won’t do it. Can you give me any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

Try To Find Out What Is Really Going On

You may be taken aback at first when he suggests that his lowered libido is a result of your being overweight, but don’t take it to heart right away. There may be other things that are responsible for his reduced sex drive that he just doesn’t know about and the only thing he can think to blame it on is the way your body looks and that he considers it “unappealing.” A change in his lifestyle – such as a new job or a new baby – could be the culprit, as well as other things like certain medications and even his diet and exercise habits. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether it really is about you or if there might be some deeper issues going on that your partner just isn’t aware of.

When did this start?
Have you always had the same weight-to-height ratio or have you recently gained?
Have you always had sex just a few times a month, or is this something new that has started happening?
Did you just have your first baby?
Is he having job stress or other types of stress in his life?
Has he started taking medication of some kind?
Is he eating a healthy, nutrient rich diet?
Is HE exercising and maintaining a healthy weight?

Talking To Him About It

It’s important to talk to him about what is going on in your sex life (or lack thereof) but picking the right time and place is absolutely essential in getting through to him. Don’t try to talk to him about the issue right after you’ve either had sex or you’ve initiated sex and he’s declined. You also don’t want to do it when he’s stressed out, like right after work or when the baby is fussy. Hire a babysitter, set aside some time for you and your partner to go to dinner and initiate the conversation in a casual and non-critical way. The best way to get through to your partner about what is really going on with him is to avoid being critical of him and what he says. This can be difficult because he’s coming at you with accusations that can really hurt your feelings, but try your best to maintain a level head or the only thing that will come out of it will be a huge, ugly argument. If you can’t work through these issues on your own, consider couples counseling. Find a counselor that you and your partner are both comfortable with and talk to them about the problems you and your partner are having. A good counselor will not blame either of you for what is going on (because let’s face it, the blame game will get you absolutely nowhere) and will help you and your partner find the tools to change what you need to change in your relationship to have a better sex life.

Changing Your Body

If you’ve just gained weight from having a baby, relax a little and be confident that your body will return to its normal size and shape if you maintain a healthy diet and exercise plan. If you’ve always been overweight though, consider taking what your partner is saying to heart (at least a little bit). It may be hard to hear, but being overweight just doesn’t make you unappealing to him, it also places hazards on your health. Overweight people are more at risk for high blood pressure and heart disease, as well as diabetes and other life threatening conditions. Consider losing weight for you. Think about how great you’ll feel afterwards! There are lots of ways to lose weight, but one of the most fun ways is through sex. Perhaps if you tell your partner about some new sex positions that you’ve learned help lose weight, he’ll be interested in joining the cause!

Q&A: Condoms – What Size Do I Need?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 14:00:19 +0000

Condom shopping isn’t always easy because condoms come in a variety of different shapes and sizes. Condom sizes also differ from manufacturer to manufacturer, so it can be difficult to determine the best size for you in a particular brand. Getting the right size for you is important, because an ill fitting condom can reduce pleasurable sensations during sex at best or slip off and increase the risk of transmitting STD’s and unwanted pregnancy. Here’s how to find out what size YOU need!

Question: According to a condom size chart I’m 5 inches long erect. What condom size do I need?

–YouTube Viewer

Basic Condom Size Guidelines

If you look on the back of a condom box, each manufacturer provides basic guidelines on how large a condom is, in both length and width. You’ll also be able to find out what material it is made from and whether it comes lubricated or not. They may also provide information on how thick it is, so you can choose the thickness that provides the best and most pleasurable sensations. Most people will choose the thinnest condom that is available because this tends to allow both partners to feel more friction than their thicker counterparts. While getting a thin condom may help make sex better for you and your partner, it is much more important that you get the correct size, as this will make the biggest difference. Looking at the manufacturer’s specifications will give you a general idea of how large it is, and you can compare it to how large your penis is after you’ve measured it. Like most things though, the size of a condom will differ somewhat between manufacturers. An XL in one brand is not going to fit the same as an XL in another brand. Accurately measuring your penis and purchasing the correct size for it is an important part of having safer sex and preventing sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

Making Sure The Condom Fits Comfortably

When a condom is stretched lengthwise, it is much more stretchy and resilient than if it is stretched widthwise. Keep this in mind when going shopping – unless you have a very long penis, you’ll want to judge it mostly by its width, since there won’t be much give in that respect. You will be much more comfortable in one that fits the width of your penis properly! A condom that fits well lengthwise should actually be a little longer than your penis, with enough space at the tip to hold your semen when you orgasm. A condom that fits comfortably is going to benefit you and your partner during sex in many more ways than you would think. You (and your partner) will enjoy sex more, because one that doesn’t fit right will either hug you too tightly and cause discomfort or be too loose and decrease the pleasurable sensations from having sex.

Giving Condoms A Test Drive

A great way to find out which condoms fit you well and which don’t is to purchase a variety of them and give each one a test drive. Once you have a basic idea of how they should fit, you’ll be able to decide which one fits best on you and feels better for your partner. Many stores that sell sex toys also offer several different types of “variety packs” which give you one or two of each type of condom for you to try. It may seem silly, but don’t be afraid to take notes about which ones feel better than others and which condoms your partner seems to like the best. Once you determine which one is the right one for you, it will become your “go to” condom. Keep a good supply of your favorite one available, but don’t keep them in your wallet, your jeans pockets or your car. Women should not keep condoms in their purses unless they are protected by a hard case of some kind. The friction caused by a pair of pants or a wallet can cause the wrapper to degrade, possibly making holes in the wrapper and compromising the integrity of the condom. Keeping it in your car will expose the material to extreme heat and cold, possibly causing the latex or polyurethane to degrade, thereby decreasing it’s effectiveness at preventing pregnancy and reducing the risk of transmitting STD’s. Your best bet is to keep condoms stored in a cool, dry place to keep it “fresher” longer. Always inspect the wrapper thoroughly before using it for tears or holes.

Q&A: Dating Tips – How Do I Know If He’s Just In It For The Sex?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Guys love sex. It’s just a fact of life. But if you’re with a guy who only seems to want to have sex or make out, you might be wondering if he’s only in the relationship for the sex. If you think he only cares about getting in between the sheets with you, there are some questions you can ask yourself to better understand the situation and his true motives. Here’s what to do if you think he’s only interested in sex, so you can figure out if that’s really what is going on or if he’s just a normal guy who can’t stop thinking about it.

Question: How do I know if a guy really loves and respects me, or if he is just into sex and making out?

–YouTube Viewer

All Guys Are Into Sex And Making Out – Don’t Hold It Against Him

If you think he’s only in the relationship for sex just because he wants to have sex or make out all the time, you could be very, very wrong. Most – if not all – guys are very into sex and making out and it’s constantly on their minds. He may really enjoy being in a relationship with you and may care a lot about you, but he may not be able to control his mind when it comes to thinking about you naked. Don’t hold it against him just because he loves sex, oral sex, kissing, making out and anything with you that involves getting to feel you up. Many girls think that if they want to find out if their guy only cares about the sex, they can withhold sex and see if he still enjoys hanging out with her. This is totally unfair to him! Don’t punish him – instead, there are some questions you can ask yourself that will give you a better handle on the situation without hurting your guy unnecessarily.

How To Tell If He’s Only In It For The Sex

If you’re really beginning to think that he only wants to be with you because he likes having sex with you, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Do you engage in other activities with him?
How does he treat you outside the bedroom?
How does he treat you in front of friends and family?
Do you hang out together with his friends and your friends?
Is he truly interested in what you have to say or what is going on in your life?
Do you communicate outside the bedroom?
Does he call you late at night, only for booty calls?
Does he come by only for sex?

If he does ok on most of these questions, then he probably enjoys both being in a relationship with you or dating you and having sex with you. Guys that only want sex will tend not to hide it very well at all – men are definitely not masters of hiding their motives by nature. If that’s his game, he’ll basically meet up with you only for sex. He won’t try to fake it by alternating a nice date with a booty call – he’ll go straight for the booty call at 2 a.m. after he’s been partying with his friends all night. He won’t want to hang out with you in front of his friends, or hang out with yours at all. He won’t call or text you just to “chat.” He’ll almost always, if not every time, suggest sex right away. If you’re not up for hitting the sheets, he’ll make up an excuse later as to why he can’t hang out. No, Grandma really isn’t sick – he just found something better to do because you didn’t want to “do it.” If he spends time with you outside of the bedroom, hangs out with your friends and his (with you) and sometimes calls you just to say “hey,” he is probably not only in it for the sex – he’s just an ordinary guy who loves it and loves it with you!

What To Do If He Only Cares About Sex

If your guy fits the bill of someone who wants sex and only sex, stop and think about where you’re willing to go with this. Is the sex great and would you otherwise be single without any sex? Why not keep him as a booty call while you continue to date and look for the real deal? If you’re not into that, consider breaking it off with him. You don’t have to waste your time with someone who wants only sex unless that’s what you want too.

Q&A: Masturbation – Does It Make Sex Better?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 14:00:58 +0000

Just about everyone masturbates, starting from when they’re a teenager and continuing on into their adult life. It is perfectly healthy and normal for both men and women to masturbate regularly, but the question is, does it help improve your sex life? Does masturbating when you’re young make sex better when you’re older and does it also help make your sex life better when you’re alternating between having sex and pleasuring yourself?

How Masturbation Can Make Sex Worse – For Guys

When guys are growing up, they tend to learn how to masturbate and give themselves an orgasm in secret. In many cultures, where masturbation is taboo or considered “wrong,” nobody talks about how to masturbate or when to masturbate. As a result, many young men learn how to masturbate the wrong way and end up teaching their body the wrong things – and this will actually make your sex life worse when you do start to have sex. Usually, young men will masturbate in secret and do it quickly for fear of being caught – quite literally – with their pants down. This trains the body to reach orgasm too quickly, and can lead to problems with premature ejaculation when a man gets older and begins having sex. This can cause problems in a sexual relationship, because the sex just isn’t lasting long enough and his partner will often have to go without sexual satisfaction because there just wasn’t enough time before he reached climax.

How Guys – And Girls – Can Use Masturbation As A Sexual Training Tool

When done correctly, masturbation can be a great sexual training tool for both girls and guys. For guys, masturbating the right way can help him learn when he’s about to reach climax and teach him how to control his orgasm. When a man learns how to control his orgasm through masturbation, it will also allow him to control his orgasm during sex and better please his partner. To do this, go slow when masturbating. Get close to orgasm and back off a bit. Do this again and again until you’ve lasted as long as you can. Female masturbation will also help a woman learn more about her body and her sexuality. When a woman explores masturbation freely, she will learn how she likes to be touched and exactly where her hot spots are. This will help her to reach orgasm more easily during sex! Many girls who have never masturbated have actually never had an orgasm – simply because she’s not quite sure of how to get there. Guys in relationships with girls who have never masturbated can be equally as frustrated, because if she doesn’t know where and how to touch herself to have an orgasm, how is he supposed to know? If as a young guy or girl, you didn’t learn how to masturbate the right way, don’t worry too much about it. You can actually teach yourself to masturbate the right way right now!

Masturbation Is A Great Stress Reliever

Of course, having an orgasm is a huge stress reliever. That’s why people enjoy sex so much! Not only does it feel good while you’re doing it, but the body produces so many feel good hormones during sex that you’re definitely going to ride a “sex high” well after you’ve finished getting it on. Does this mean that if you’re single or aren’t having much sex with your partner that you are going to miss out on all the great benefits of having sex? Not hardly! Masturbation will create the same great after-sex feelings that sex does, because it’s simply a physiological response to the body having an orgasm. Masturbation will relieve stress much the same way that sex does, and can make you feel more confident in yourself and super sexy. Instead of using masturbation to “get off quickly” though, spend some time with yourself making yourself feel good. This will not only make your sex life better, it will also help get you in tune with your own sexuality. Make masturbation better by watching your favorite porn flick, or reading a steamy, erotic novel that really turns you on. Girls, touch your clitoris slowly, or use more lube if that is what feels good. Guys, the more lube you use, the better. Water based lube functions much better for masturbation than lotion or other substances. If you use masturbation to your advantage, you can make your sex life much, much hotter – whether you’re waiting to have sex or in a sexual relationship right now.

Q&A: Swinging & Threesomes – When Things Go Bump In The Night

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 14:00:06 +0000

Lots of male/female couples are interested in swinging or having a threesome, but many guys are worried about having a threesome with another guy. That’s why most of the time, threesomes end up being between a guy and two girls, rather than a girl and two guys. Being nervous about a MFM threesome is common, but sometimes there may be pressure on you from your girl or the other guy to be ok with it. Before you jump into something you’re not sure about, there are a few things that come into play when discussing a threesome with your partner, from whether you’re comfortable with something to what’s ok and what’s not ok.

Question: (paraphrased from German-English…)

Hope we get the points correctly… I’ve been with my girlfriend for 1 ½ years and we’ve always been into fetishes and stuff. We’ve been going to a fetish club for a while and it’s really nice and the people are great. We thought about getting with another girl or a couple but the last time we tried to be a bit voyeuristic, a ‘guy’ tried to get with us. Since then I’m not sure what to think. I’m still interested in another girl or couple – but not sure about the guy thing?

–YouTube Viewer

Communication Is Key

Communicating with your partner about having a threesome or a foursome is absolutely essential before you – and whoever else you’re planning on having sex with – step foot in the bedroom. Sit down and talk with your partner about how you feel about having a threesome or swinging and encourage them to open up about how they feel about it too. Keeping feelings and thoughts about having an open marriage is often what ends up causing trouble down the road after things have already gotten started and you can’t really go back. If you’re uncomfortable with something, or don’t want certain things to happen during the threesome, make your concerns known and talk about them with your partner. Talk about feelings of jealousy or trust issues and make sure you and your partner are both on the same page when it comes to having a threesome.

Define What You’re Uncomfortable With

When talking with your partner about what is ok and what is not ok during the threesome, don’t be afraid to define exactly what you’re comfortable with or uncomfortable with. Is kissing others on the mouth ok, or would you prefer to only kiss your partner on the mouth? Is oral sex or anal sex ok, or are those things you’d like to steer clear of? This is where you want to speak up if having another man in the equation is not something you’re comfortable with. If you’d prefer a MFF threesome instead of a MFM – or you’re totally against having a MFM threesome – let your partner know. Define exactly what you’re uncomfortable with (as well as what is ok) so there are absolutely no questions later.

Nobody Takes One For The Team

In a threesome situation, there is no such thing as “taking one for the team.” It is not ok to pressure someone to try to like something or be okay with something just so you can enjoy yourself and the same goes for if you’re uncomfortable with something – you don’t have to “try” to like something or pretend you’re ok with something during a threesome so your partner and whoever else is involved can have fun. If you’re not into anal sex, don’t let someone pressure you into “just trying it out” to see how you like it. Make it clear that it’s something that is not ok, before heading to the bedroom. Hopefully, you’ve had a chance to not only talk to your partner about what you aren’t ok with, but also with the other person or couple who will be joining you. If you’ve done this already, chances are, things you’re not ok with (and things other people aren’t ok with) won’t even come up during the situation. On occasion, couples will go to sex clubs and end up meeting someone that they want to take home with them that night, and there’s not really time to discuss the ins and outs of what you want to happen during the threesome. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to speak up during sex and say, “This is not something I’m comfortable with, can we try something else?” Your partner should have your back, especially if you’ve already talked with them about the threesome.

Q&A: Masturbation – How Do Virgin Girls Masturbate?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 14:00:37 +0000

Most women masturbate, but do all women do it the same way? Do all women enjoy the same things during masturbation? Of course not. Each woman has her own preferences when it comes to what feels good during masturbation. However, a seemingly big difference to the way girls masturbate is whether they’re a virgin or not. But is this really a difference, or is it just a common misconception? Do virgin girls masturbate differently from girls who have had sex before, or do they do it the same way?

Virgin Girls Masturbate The Same Way Non-Virgin Girls Do

Masturbation is actually pretty simple. You do whatever feels good and you keep doing it until you reach orgasm, or multiple orgasms. So in a nutshell, almost every woman masturbates similarly, whether they’re a virgin or not. However, the specifics may differ depending on what each woman likes, but the end goal is really the same regardless of virginity status (or any other status, really). Since every woman likes to be pleasured differently, each woman will use her own techniques or sex toys to pleasure herself. Some girls who are virgins choose to masturbate by stimulating and touching their clitoris only and choosing not to use any type of vaginal penetration, while other virgins do both. Some women who are not virgins will still stimulate their clitoris only during masturbation (because that’s what feels good to them) while others will use vaginal penetration only or both. Still other women, both virgins and non-virgins alike, will also incorporate anal stimulation into their masturbation if that’s what they enjoy. How you masturbate depends only on what you enjoy, not whether you’ve had sex before or not.

How Masturbating Can Help You With Great Sex Later In Life

Masturbation now, whether you’re a virgin or not, will help you have better sex later in life. Masturbation also helps women with active sex lives have better sex too! Through masturbation, women learn what feels good and what doesn’t – essential information that they definitely need to pass on to their guy when they have sex. Women who don’t masturbate have a more difficult time figuring out what they like and don’t like during sex and often this will frustrate their partner to no end. Many women who don’t masturbate have never had an orgasm and aren’t able to with their guy! Masturbation isn’t something to be embarassed about, because it’s a completely natural way to learn more about your body and what you like and don’t like. If you’ve never tried masturbating before – whether you’re a virgin or not – there are lots of resources that can help you get started. Women who masturbate notice that they’re often in a better mood and can handle stress more easily than if they weren’t sexually satisfied. Women who masturbate also say that their men enjoy sex with them better too, because it’s not as difficult for their guys to pleasure them in bed!

What To Do If It Hurts

Both sex and masturbation can hurt or be uncomfortable, especially if you’re a virgin, but that doesn’t mean that it is completely normal or that it is always going to hurt or be uncomfortable. If you’re masturbating for the first time and notice some discomfort during vaginal penetration the first few times, that’s probably nothing to worry about. The same goes for first time sex – it may be uncomfortable or slightly painful the first few times. It is also common for women to bleed the first time they experience vaginal penetration, be it through sex or masturbation. You can also bleed slightly during sex or masturbation if you’re getting ready to start your period or are having particularly rough sex or masturbation. However, if you continue to experience bleeding or discomfort during either of these activities, it’s important to talk to your doctor. If you’re too embarassed to see your doctor about masturbation or sex, it’s essential that you find a doctor that you are comfortable enough to talk to about your body. Don’t stress too much about it, because doctors have seen and heard just about everything and there’s really nothing to be embarassed about when it comes to taking care of your body. Your doctor is there to help you! Be sure to let your doctor know that you’ve been masturbating or having sex and how you’ve been doing it or what you’ve been using to masturbate so your doctor can accurately assess what is going on with your bod.

Q&A: How To Give A Better Blowjob

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 14:00:26 +0000

It’s no secret that guys love getting a blowjob. Getting head is probably one of your guy’s favorite ways to be pleasured sexually, so you should definitely learn how to give great head if you don’t already know how. And chances are, even if you’re a blowjob pro, you could use a few tips to spice up your routine. Giving a guy head sounds simple, but there are a lot of things that girls miss when they’re going down on their guy. Here are some simple tips to help you give a better blowjob.

Be In A Comfortable Position

Being uncomfortable is one of the main complaints that women have about going down on their guy. Many women avoid giving their guy a blowjob at all just because they can’t find a comfortable position to do it in. If you’re not in a good position while going down on your guy, you’ll find that you tire more quickly and easily, your neck will start to cramp and your jaw and hands may get tired fast. You can give much better head if you find a position in which you can be comfortable during the blowjob. The best sex positions for pleasing your guy orally are usually if you are on your knees with him either sitting or lying down.

Start By Slowly Licking Him Up And Down

Most women don’t like it when their partners perform oral sex on them and just dive right in. They’d prefer if their guys started a little slower, kissing and licking lightly before starting the real show. Guys are the same. Your man doesn’t just want you to put his whole penis in your mouth and watch you start sucking like a madwoman. He’d love to see you lick slowly up and down his penis, getting him warmed up before you start going fast and using your hands as well as your mouth.

Tongue, Mouth, Hand And Fingers

Most girls’ mouths aren’t wide or long enough to completely take in all of their partner’s penis, especially if he has a big penis or a very long or wide one. So when giving your guy oral sex, use your hands and fingers in addition to your tongue and mouth to really make the blowjob great. Since you probably can’t take him completely into your mouth when he’s erect, keep your mouth on the head (which is one of the most sensitive parts of his penis) and use your hands and fingers to caress his lower shaft and testicles. Experiencing all the different sensations your hands and mouth create during a blowjob will make it truly amazing for him!

Show Him You’re Really Into It!

Guys don’t want to see a girl giving a blowjob like it’s a chore. So show your man that you’re really into it and you’re getting something out of it too. Make eye contact with him occasionally and don’t forget to make some noise. He doesn’t want to hear only himself! You can also touch yourself during the blowjob, but do so only as you’re getting him warmed up. When he gets close, all your focus needs to be on him. If you don’t mind his hands on your head, he’d love to put them there. If you do, just let him fondle your breasts during the blowjob instead. Afterwards, let him know how much you enjoyed giving him pleasure with your mouth!

Communicate With Your Partner

There are lots of things that men enjoy when getting head, and there are a few things that will make him cringe – such as using your teeth, for one. Don’t be afraid to communicate with your partner about what he likes and what he doesn’t like when you’re giving him a blowjob, because not all guys like the same thing when recieving oral sex. If you’re too shy to ask, pay attention to his non-verbal cues instead. If he really likes something, his eyes may roll back in his head or he may start breathing faster or moaning louder. He may grasp the sheets or the arms of the chair, or he may buck his hips towards you. When that happens, just keep doing whatever you’re doing! If you stop or change to doing something different, he’ll stop exhibiting these behaviors and he’ll come right back to the real world. When you find something he really likes, whether he told you or showed you that it was great, keep doing it! Chances are, it won’t be long before he reaches orgasm.

Q&A: How To Tell If She Wants To Have Sex With You

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 14:00:13 +0000

If you’re wondering whether a girl wants to have sex with you or not, you’re not alone! Many guys are in the dark when it comes to communicating with a girl, especially when it comes to a topic as delicate as whether she wants to have sex or not. Some girls just come right out and say if they want to have sex with you, but other girls are a little more subtle about it. Here’s how to pick up on the little things that she might do that will let you know that she’s interested in getting down and dirty with you.

Question: How EXACTLY do you know when a girl wants you to have sex with her, because I don’t want to pressure her or anything. I’m just waiting on her to give me a sign!

–YouTube Viewer

What Her Body Language Will Tell You

Lots of women communicate with their body language rather than telling you exactly what they want you to know. Sure, it may seem frustrating at first, but once you learn how to read body language, you’ll be appreciative of the unspoken gestures that let you know what she wants and how she’s feeling. Women who want to have sex with men will automatically gravitate towards them physically, so she may stand very close to you and be facing you most of the time you and her are around each other. She may rub her body against you on “accident,” for example, if she’s passing by you or leaning over you to get something. She may accidentally brush her butt or breasts and nipples up against you if she’s near you. She also may touch you a lot when you’re talking with her, for example, laying her hand on your knee or arm.

When She Makes Eye Contact With You

Eye contact is a biggie for women and most, if not all, women will make some serious eye contact with a guy they want to get into bed with. She may look you directly in the eyes when you and her are talking, or she may watch your lips as you’re talking. This may mean that she wants to kiss you, or of course, do other things with your lips than just talking. She may also look up and down your body or very obviously check you out when you walk away. Eye contact, along with body language, is one of the easiest ways to tell that she’s into you sexually. If she keeps looking at you and her attention doesn’t seem to be elsewhere, it’s a pretty safe bed that she wants something more.

If She Compliments You

Sure, women will complement your clothes or your hair, but if a woman wants you sexually, she’ll complement more than that. She’ll complement your body parts, such as how big and strong your arms or legs are, or how great you look in a swimsuit. She may put her hands on your shoulders or neck and exclaim how firm they are, or even compliment your hands or lips.

If She Wants Alone Time With You

If you and your girl are hanging out with friends and her friends are ready to go, she may be fine with letting them go and staying to hang out with you. She may try to get you alone every chance she gets! When a girl goes out of her way to try to get alone time with you, she’s trying to find a window in which she can make a move on you or prompt you to make a move on her.

If She Brings Up Sexual Topics

A woman that wants to have sex with you may not come right out and say it, however, she may have nothing on her mind but sex and that will definitely come out in the conversation. She may bring up sexual topics such as breast enlargement, sex tips, funny sex stories or anything to do with sex at all. She may start a friendly debate about whether or not girls can have a libido as high as a man’s, or she may ask you what you like in the bedroom! Either way, if she’s talking about sex, she’s most likely wanting sex with you.

When She Comes Right Out And Tells You

While most guys have to interpret body language and eye contact to figure out if a girl wants to hop in bed with them, there are a few women who will just come right out and say it. She may invite you back to her house for “drinks” or suggest going over to yours after hanging out with friends. Of course, if your girl does, lucky for you!

Q&A: What To Do If She’s Only In It For The Sex

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 14:00:16 +0000

Men often get a bad rap for being in a relationship only for the sex and women get stuck being the “booty call.” But truth be told, some women will actually do the same thing to men and turn the man into the “booty call” instead of wanting a real relationship. It’s actually not that uncommon for a single, independent woman to want to be with a man simply for the great sex. What are the signs that she is, in fact, only in it for the sex and what should you do if she is?

Question: What should I do if it looks like the girl I’m dating is with me just for sex?

–YouTube Viewer

What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

If you suspect that your girl is with you simply for the sex, stop and think about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Are you looking for a relationship that is sex only, or are you looking for something more serious? Do you want a long term relationship or do you want a casual relationship that involves a friendship in addition to sex? Stopping to define what you want in a relationship at this stage in your life is essential in figuring out if you want to stay in this particular relationship or not. If your girl is in it only for the sex and you want a deeper, more emotionally fulfilling relationship, you might want to consider moving on and dating other people. On the other hand, however, stop and consider that while you’re not getting what you want out of a relationship with your current girl, are you satisfied for the time being? If you would end up being single anyways and spending your time masturbating instead of having sex, why not continue to stay in a sex-only relationship until you meet someone you are interested in starting a real relationship with? If your girl really is in it only for the sex, she won’t mind you keeping your eyes peeled for someone who can better meet your needs.

Signs That She’s Just Looking For Sex

If you’re not sure that she’s just in it for the sex but you have your suspicions, there are many ways to find out. The way she acts towards you and her behaviors will definitely clue you in if she just wants sex from you and nothing else. In fact, these are the same types of behaviors that guys exhibit when they’re with a girl that they just consider to be a “booty call.” Your girl may not call you for days after having sex with you, but will call you again out of the blue if she wants more. She may call you only at night, or very late at night if she’s been out partying or hanging out with friends. She won’t want to hang out with you and may make excuses if you want to take her to dinner or take her to a game. She may hide her relationship with you from her friends, acting like she is “just friends” with you when you and her are together in front of them. When you are alone with her, however, she may act completely different towards you. She may bring up sex a lot in conversations with you and her, or she may just flat out put the moves on you when you first walk in her door. She may ask you to leave after sex instead of offering to let you stay the night or she may leave your house rather than asking to stay.

What To Do If You Want More Than Just Sex

If you are really wanting more out of this relationship than sex, talk to your girl. Let her know that you’re not getting what you need. Let her know that you really like her and that you want to be more than just a “booty call” to her. In some cases, a girl will assume that the man just wants sex with her so she tries to be what he wants. She may be surprised to hear that you want more than just sex and that you actually want a relationship! Don’t break up with her or end the relationship before talking to your girl and being completely honest with her. If you really like this girl, it would be a shame to let her go because of a simple miscommunication! If she really does want just sex though, and you’re not into that, move on because there are lots of other girls that would love to have an emotionally fulfilling relationship along with a sexual one.

Q&A: The Best Condoms of 2010

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 14:00:27 +0000

Condom shopping isn’t exactly easy. With literally hundreds of different styles, sizes and materials available, it can be really hard, so to speak, to find the right one for you and your partner. While we have our personal favorites, we went to the pros at Condom Depot for the answer to this question. So here are the world’s best condoms for 2010!

Question: What are the best condoms and the best flavors?

–YouTube Viewer

The Truth About Flavored Condoms

Flavored condoms, such as strawberry, mint or chocolate, are made to both taste and smell good. However, anyone who has ever used flavored condoms for oral sex will notice that these condoms taste a little bit like flavored plastic – because they are! Flavored condoms aren’t ever going to taste so great that you will want to eat them up, but they do make giving a blowjob a little nicer. Perhaps the best part about using a flavored condom is that they smell absolutely divine! If you’ve never tried a flavored condom before, don’t expect great things when you put it in your mouth. You and your partner will, however, really enjoy the different scents! Buy a sampler pack of different flavors so you can find the ones you and your partner like the best.

Crown Skinless Skin Condoms

Crown Skinless Skin Condoms, manufactured in Japan, is the clear winner of Condom Depot’s 9th Annual Condom Awards. In fact, this particular condom has won first place all nine years in a row! This condom is favored by the adult film industry and is tinted a slight pink that makes it look like you have nothing on. The best part? They’re so thin, you don’t even feel like you have anything on! This condom clocks in at a mere 0.00185″ and is officially the thinnest condom available. Plus, no latex smell!

Durex Extra Sensitive Condoms

Durex Extra Sensitive Condoms have ranked second place in the Condom Depot awards, however, it actually ranked first place five years in a row in the Consumer Report. This is Durex’s thinnest condom, and is made to help both partners feel more sensations during sex than any other condom made by Durex. The official thickness of Durex Extra Sensitive Condoms are 0.019.” Even though this condom takes second place in the awards, it is actually about 10 times thicker than Crown Skinless Skin Condoms!

Beyond Seven Condoms

Made by the same company that manufactures Crown Skinless Skin Condoms, Beyond Seven Condoms rank third place in the 9th Annual Condom Awards by Condom Depot. This condom is made from a special latex material called “Sheerlon” and are made thinner and stronger than most condoms. They’re the same thickness as Durex Extra Sensitive Condoms, but they’re a tad narrower at the top to fit the penis like a glove.

LifeStyles SKYN Condoms

For those with latex allergies, it’s time to chuck your non-stretchy and irritating polyurethane condoms. LifeStyles SKYN Condoms are made from a revolutionary new material called “polyisoprene” and is thin and can stretch to accommodate different penis sizes just like latex. It is thinner than polyurethane condoms and transfers heat unlike latex. This condom has been FDA approved to help prevent pregnancy and the transmission of STD’s so if you’re allergic to latex but still want great feeling protection, try LifeStyles SKYN Condoms.

Impulse Bare Pleasure Condoms

Impulse Bare Pleasure Condoms are ribbed for her pleasure, so sex ends up feeling great for both him and her. A two time Condom Depot Annual Condom Award winner, this condom is very popular among fans of textured condoms. This condom, however, is considered “average” in size, but will stretch to accommodate a variety of penis sizes. Impulse Bare Pleasure Condoms also offer a low latex odor for people who just don’t like that “condom” smell.

These are only the top five best condoms in the world – the list goes on! Visit Condom Depot to learn more about the best condoms of 2010 as determined by the 9th Annual Condom Depot Annual Condom Awards. You’ll find many more condoms on the “best of 2010 list,” including condoms for larger sized men. Condom Depot is actually an excellent website for finding the best condoms to use, because you can search for condoms several different ways, including by condom manufacturer, style or size. Each condom on the website includes a picture of the actual condom, size specifications (including how thick it is) and actual consumer reviews for each condom.

Q&A: Condoms – Should You Flush Them?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 14:00:07 +0000

Disposing of a condom can be tricky. You want to be discreet about it, so putting it in the trash might make leave it visible to whoever uses the bathroom after you. Flushing it seems like a great idea, but can flushing a condom ruin the toilet or cause an overflow? Here’s why you shouldn’t flush a condom and how you can dispose of your condom properly.

Question: Can you flush condoms down the toilet???

–YouTube Viewer

Flushing Condoms Is Tempting

Of course flushing a condom down the toilet is tempting. It’s quick, easy and leaves absolutely no evidence behind! Instead of messing with a used condom after you’re done having sex, you simply slip it off, toss it in the toilet water and away it goes without a second thought. Flushing a condom down the toilet makes cleaning up after sex a breeze, right? Wrong! Flushing a condom down the toilet can cause a lot more problems than you originally bargained for.

Why You Shouldn’t Flush Condoms Down The Toilet!

Best case scenario, your condom goes down the toilet no problem and you never see it again. Of course, this doesn’t always happen. In fact, it actually rarely happens. A condom may not flush down the toilet the first time, and you may get stuck flushing over and over again only to watch the condom spin around the bowl in happy little circles. Of course, an even bigger problem is if the condom actually does go down the toilet and then comes back up…with everything else that is in the depths of the toilet. If you’re in your own house and aren’t trying to be discreet about having sex, this can be a definite inconvenience. However, if you’re trying to hide your condom and it comes bubbling up with the rest of the toilet contents, your cover is absolutely blown! And whoever you’re trying to hide your condom (and your safe sex) from is going to be even more mad that you caused the toilet to back up, on top of finding out that it was a condom that did it. Your condom may flush the first time and even the second time, but the more you flush your used condoms, the greater chance something not so great will happen afterwards. Not to mention that most condoms aren’t biodegradable and may end up choking some poor animal that thought it was lunch.

How To Properly - And Discreetly – Dispose Of A Condom

You may think that throwing condoms the trash isn’t discreet at all, but it can be if you do it right. It’s actually very simple. Wrap your condom in a wad of toilet paper or tissue and then throw it away. Usually, this looks like you’ve simply blown your nose in a wad of tissue and threw it away! Girls have been doing it for years and years with used female hygiene products such as sanitary napkins or tampons. If you really want to make sure no one will find your used condom, wedge your wad of toilet paper into the middle or bottom of the trash. Someone would really have to dig to find it and it’s extremely unlikely that whoever throws the trash out is going to want to get into that mess.

Q&A: Shaving – Should Men Trim Or Shave Completely?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:00:04 +0000

Genital hygiene is a big issue for both men and women. Of course you want to be clean and fresh for your partner before sex, but what about pubic hair? Is it better to let it all grow wild or shave your genitals off bald? Or is it even better to do the in-between and use a trimmer for a close but still fuzzy trim? Here’s the downlow on pubic hair and whether to shave or not to shave.

Question: Should men trim or shave completely?

–YouTube Viewer

What Is Your Personal Preference?

Whether you shave your pubic hair, trim it with a trimmer or leave it completely hairy is completely a matter of personal taste and preferences. Of course, you want to think about your partner and their tastes and preferences too! If your partner doesn’t like giving a blowjob to a very hairy guy, consider giving yourself a trim or a shave. If your partner really digs your bush, let it grow. Also, do what is most comfortable for you. If your pubic hair is constantly getting caught in your zipper but your partner really likes a lot of pubic hair, consider a medium trim to still please your partner but also keep yourself from getting hurt!

The Benefits Of A Trim Or Shave

Even if you and your partner like it hairy, there are some definite benefits to trimming your pubic hair or shaving it off completely. Hair easily traps sweat and bacteria, which can cause a strong odor. You can wash regularly, but the odor often tends to hang out if you’ve got a lot of hair. Men who trim their pubic hair short or shave it will notice that they have less of an odor down there, and almost none if they wash up often. Of course, the other benefits include not finding long, curly hairs everywhere when you’re peforming oral sex on your partner or when you’re cleaning up after sex.

Things To Think About

If you are hairy all over, with lots of chest hair and leg hair, it’s going to look a little strange if you have a completely shaved groin area. Men who are very hairy all over may find that a pubic hair trim looks a little more natural than a complete shave! Alternatively, if you are a very hairless man, shaving completely may look and feel better to you. Also think about how much time you are willing to spend on pubic hair maintenance. Do you have a lot of time to devote each week or even every few days to shave your genitals completely? If not, consider trimming because a quick trim can only take a few minutes each time and doesn’t have to be done as often as shaving.

If you’re really stuck deciding whether to shave, trim or be hairy, try them all and see which you like best! Ask your partner which she likes best when she’s giving you oral sex. You can always grow your pubic hair back after you shave it off, and you can always trim it down once it gets really hairy. Nothing is permanent when it comes to your pubic hair (even if you get it waxed off) and you can change your mind later if you decide you want a different look and feel down there.

Q&A: How Do I Stop Day Dreaming During Sex?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:00:55 +0000

Going from a busy, stressful day to sex without some time to wind down may leave you thinking about everything during sex but sex! If you find this happening to you, you’re not alone. Here’s how you can stop thinking about your to-do list, chores, television and bills and start thinking about having great, satisfying sex!

Question: When my bf and I have intercourse, I always find myself thinking about things non related to sex. How do I focus more about what’s going on rather than something like a tv show?

–YouTube Viewer

Sex On The To-Do List

Many women have a difficult time turning their brains off when it comes time to get in the mood for sex. A woman’s brain, emotions and physical sensations are all interlinked and if her brain is going haywire, her body and emotions aren’t going to sync up either. Many women feel as though sex is actually a chore on their to-do list instead of something they find relaxing and enjoyable. So if you find your mind wandering when you’re trying to have sex and reach climax, you are most certainly not alone. Some women think they can’t do anything about it, but the truth is, you can!

How To Relax

Make a conscious decision to stop what you’re doing, put away everything from the day, and focus on getting ready for sex. Get yourself to relax by listening to whatever music gets you in the mood, reading a book (erotic novels are a great way to get your mind and body ready for sex) or taking a hot bath with a glass of your favorite wine. Putting your thoughts about the day behind you and the day ahead of you isn’t going to be easy, but it is most certainly not impossible. It will require effort though, and determination on your part to make sex a priority in your life. Turn off the television or computer, and do what gets you turned on the most. Give yourself time to warm up though, because getting in the mood for sex may not happen right away.

Is He Pleasuring You?

A lot of women don’t reach orgasm through sex and the culprit could be one of two things. A woman who can’t relax enough to let sex take over her body and mind will have a difficult time reaching orgasm no matter how hard her partner tries. On the other hand, a completely relaxed woman won’t orgasm if her partner simply rushes to reach his own climax. Encourage your partner to do some research on female orgasms and how he can help pleasure you better. Everyone has something to learn about sex, even if they feel like they’re a seasoned pro. During sex, don’t be afraid to let your partner know if you like something or if something feels good. If you give him lots of vocal reassurance about what he’s doing right, he’s going to want to keep doing that! With you relaxed and ready for sex after you’ve put the day’s activities behind you and your partner taking the initiative to pleasure you, you’ll find that you think about sex and how much fun you’re having way more than you’re thinking about television or bills!

Q&A: What Is A Soulmate?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 23:00:53 +0000

Couples in love may wonder if they’ve met their soul mate. Everything is perfect and it even seems like this person finishes your sentences for you. But how do you really know if you’re with your soul mate and what happens when the initial “love at first sight” feeling wears off and you’re experiencing day to day life with someone you have a soul level connection with?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, my question for you what are both of your opinions on the concept on “soul mates,” and can you put that concept into what it’s like on a daily basis?

–YouTube Viewer

What Is A Soul Connection?

A soul connection is described differently by a lot of people. There are many different opinions on what a soul mate is and if soul mates even exist. Everyone has their own opinion on whether soul mates exist or don’t, as well as what a soul connection is like when you experience it. Some people who have never experienced a soul connection are very doubtful that soul mates are possible, while someone who has experienced that deep level of love and trust will never doubt its existence. The most common description of a soul connection between two people is when both people just “know” that they need to be in each other’s lives, be it at that moment, for that week or for life. Some people feel like it is “love at first sight,” but what each person seems to agree upon is that it is a feeling about someone that goes very deep, possibly deeper than you’ve ever felt before.

Who Can You Have A Soul Connection With?

People can have a soul connection with just about anyone. Gender, social status, money or life experiences have nothing to do with whom you have a soul connection with. You may have a soul connection with a friend or a lover, or more than one person. There isn’t just one “soul mate” for each person out there on the planet. A soul connection can be had with anyone, or more than one person at a time. One soul mate doesn’t trump another, although different types of soul connections can exist. You may have a deep connection with an old friend, but you may also have a very deep connection with your partner. Both are equally important to you and nurture your soul in different ways.

What Is Day To Day Life Like With A Soul Mate?

Even if you’re in a long term relationship with your soul mate, your relationship and day to day life may not always be smooth sailing. Day to day issues are going to get in the way, such as bills and kids, and you and your partner may not always be in agreement about everything. You and your partner may not see eye to eye on everything, but the important part about soul mates is that after the storms blow over at the end of the day, you and your partner still feel that deep love between each other and still feel like you’re playing on the same team.

Q&A: How To Make Sex Better For Her

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:00:28 +0000

Making first time sex special is a concern for many couples who ready for sex but haven’t taken that big plunge yet. Many guys are worried that their girlfriend won’t find the first time pleasurable, and they’re afraid of sex being uncomfortable for her. Here’s how you can make the first time – or any time - better for her.

Hey, my question is - this will be mine and my girlfriends first time, and I would like to know how to make this very special for her. I’m a little worried it will be too short and I would like to know the best way to keep it going to satisfy her.

–YouTube Viewer

Make Sex About Her

If you want to ensure your partner enjoys sex, make the sex all about her. Focus on her pleasure instead of your own. This is where foreplay can really become handy, because instead of rushing into penetration (which likely will be uncomfortable at the very least if it’s her first time) you can focus on getting her aroused through foreplay. Start out by helping her to relax with an erotic massage, and make sure you take your time. Don’t rush into anything, even if you are tempted to hurry up and get your own pleasure. Taking the time to pleasure your partner is well worth it, because in the end sex will be more pleasurable for the both of you.

Give Her Oral Sex

Women love oral sex. That’s a fact! Most women, actually, can’t climax through vaginal stimulation alone and require some degree of clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Helping your partner reach orgasm through oral sex before the actual act of penetration will help get her aroused and more physically receptive to your penis. This is especially helpful if your partner is having sex for the first time, as it will be more comfortable and pleasurable for her if she’s naturally lubed up. Another benefit of oral sex is that your women actually find it emotionally fulfilling as well. She’s going to love the fact that in that moment, even if it is just for a few minutes, she is the complete and total focus of your efforts. She gets to lie back, relax and enjoy receiving your efforts to please her!

How To Make It Last Longer

Many guys who haven’t had sex before or who haven’t had sex in a long time are worried about reaching climax too quickly once they start having sex with their partners. This is definitely a common concern, because many guys report they reach the brink of orgasm more quickly than they would like. To make sure you don’t climax too soon the first time, try masturbating often before the big event. Masturbation will help relieve pent up sexual tension, so you don’t feel the need to climax right away. This will give you more time to spend with her focusing on her pleasure and ensure that first time sex doesn’t go too quickly. These are actually all great tips that you can use beyond the first time as well, to make each and every time as amazing for her as it is for you.

Q&A: Is Sex Good For The Body?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 14:00:55 +0000

Sex feels great, so it’s natural to wonder if sex does any more than just feel good. The good news is that it does! Sex can help just about every aspect of your life including physically, mentally and in your relationship. Here’s how great sex can be great for your body and why you need to start having more of it!

Question: Is having sex regularly good for the body?

–YouTube Viewer

How Sex Benefits The Body

Sex actually does lots of great things for your body! Not only does it feel good, but it will help make you healthier all the way around. Sex boosts the immune system and helps more oxygen travel to the brain when your heart starts pumping and your breathing gets faster and faster. By boosting the immune system, sex can help you fight off diseases like the common cold or the flu. Couples that have sex often are generally healthier and have to visit the doctor less. Very vigorous sex will burn lots of calories and work your thigh, leg and abdominal muscles even better than weightlifting reps at the gym! Many women have used regular, vigorous sex as a way to exercise and lose weight. Sex sends endorphins throughout the body that help relieve pain, including headaches. Forget using a headache as an excuse to getting out of having sex on a particular night! Sex can actually be a great cure for headaches. And of course, everyone knows that sex will help you sleep like a baby! Many men and women use sex instead of sleep aids to help them fall asleep faster and sleep deeper, so they feel refreshed and ready to go in the morning.

How Sex Benefits Your Relationship

Having sex often with your partner helps build an intimate sexual bond that carries throughout your relationship. You’ll feel closer to your partner even when you’re just hanging out. With regular sex, your attitudes will be better towards each other and you’ll fight less! Sex will also help improve your self esteem and help you to feel loved and emotionally close to your partner. Sex also relieves stress, so if you’re having a tough day at work, it’s a great way to “cool off” and relax. If you don’t feel like you have enough sex in your relationship, try as best you can to have sex more often. Sex will snowball and if you have more, you’ll start to want more. Having more sex increases your libido so you can have more sex!

How Sex Benefits You

So sex can boost your immune system and help you fight diseases, help you feel better about yourself and your relationship, and help make you healthier! Different sex positions can also help you lose weight! On top of all this, sex feels great and satisfies one of our basic desires as human beings. After all, humans are indeed sexual, no matter how society tries to suggest that we ought to hide it or pretend that we don’t want it or like it. So enjoy sex and have lots of it, because it will definitely improve your life in many more ways than you thought!

Q&A: Premature Ejaculation – How Can I Last Longer In Bed?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 23:00:17 +0000

Premauture ejaculation is a common issue for many men, both young and old. There’s nothing wrong with reaching orgasm quickly during sex, although, it can definitely put a damper on a couple’s sex life if he’s going too fast for her. Here’s how you can slow it down and last longer in bed so she can reach orgasm too!

Question: I have a problem, when me and my girlfriend have sex it’s like 5 minutes into it or so then I’m ready to cum. Is that normal to go that fast? How do I keep it together longer so it’s more pleasurable for her as well?

–YouTube Viewer

Masturbation Can Help

Masturbating can actually help a premature ejaculator to last longer in bed. Many men who have girlfriends, wives or regular sex partners feel like they don’t need to masturbate, however, they end up reaching orgasm within just a few minutes of having sex with their partner. By masturbating, men can somewhat “desensitize” their penis so they don’t feel the urge to climax as soon as they start receiving pleasure. You won’t desensitize yourself to sex completely, but you will program your penis to be able to withstand pleasure for longer. Practice getting close to orgasm when you masturbate and then back off a little before you actually climax. Do this several times in a row to practice holding and controlling your orgasm.

Take A Break During Sex

It’s not bad to take a break during sex when you feel like you’re almost on the brink of having an orgasm. Back off and let your partner know that you’re close, but you’re not ready for the sex to end. Do something else, such as light foreplay or pleasure for her. This coud be a great time to give her oral sex or finger her and give her an orgasm too! When you no longer feel like you’re ready to blow, resume intercourse with your partner. You can do this more than once during sex – in fact, you can actually do it as many times as you want until you just can’t control yourself anymore! Many men report that doing this during sex helps their partners to reach orgasm as well, and makes their orgasm more powerful and pleasurable when they finally do reach climax. If you don’t trust yourself to stop when you’re close to having an orgasm, try sex positions that put your partner in charge.

Practice Makes Perfect

The more sex you have, the longer you’ll last each time. Just like any other activity, if you want to be really good at it, you have to practice at it! Instead of going a week or a few days between having sex, try having sex every other day or even every day if you need to at first! Adding masturbation into the mix as well will really help you to become a master of controlling your own orgasms. You won’t have to do this forever either – as you become more accustomed to controlling yourself, you’ll eventually be able to do so even if you haven’t had sex for weeks. Even though premature ejaculation is a common problem for me, there are lots of ways you can fix it if you just put the effort in.

Q&A: How To Find The Clitoris

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 14:00:16 +0000

The clitoris is known to be elusive to many men, however, finding it and stimulating it is one of the greatest pleasures you can give a girl. Many women aren’t even able to orgasm without clitoral stimulation! Here’s how to find the clitoris, how best to stimulate it and how you can avoid the #1 mistake guys make when they finally find it!

Question: Dear Dan and Jen – How do you find the clitoris? I want to play with my girlfriend, but I do not know where to find it and I don’t want to ask her cause it would make me look like a fool…please help!

–YouTube Viewer

Why The Clitoris Is Important

The clitoris is packed with thousands upon thousands of nerve endings that will send waves of pleasure throughout a woman’s entire body. The clitoris is the only human body part that was designed specifically for pleasure and pleasure alone! Even a man’s penis performes other functions, such as urination and procreation. The clitoris, however, does absolutely nothing except provide female orgasm when stimulated. It serves no other purpose! So it’s safe to say the clitoris is pretty darn important and well worth your time to become acquainted with it.

How To Find The Clitoris

The clitoris is located above the vaginal opening but below the pubic area. The visible area of the clitoris is a small “bud” like formation that gets bigger when a woman is aroused. The clitoris is actually way bigger than what you see on the outside and is hidden underneath the vaginal skin and muscles, but the most sensitive part is the actual “bud” above the vaginal opening. The clitoris is actually tucked underneath hood of skin called the “clitoral hood” and will peek itself out more as a woman becomes aroused. However, right before a woman reaches climax, the clitoris may suddenly shrink in size and go back underneath the hood. Don’t worry though, because if you stimulate the area where the clitoral hood is, you’re going to stimulate the clitoris as well and many women prefer this type of indirect stimulation.

The Best Way To Stimulate The Clitoris

The first rule of thumb when beginning to stimulate the clitoris is to go slow and soft! Many men make the mistake of getting excited once they find it and start pressing, rubbing, licking or sucking too hard at first. This can actually cause a woman discomfort and pain! Instead, start out soft and slow, and gradually build up pressure and speed as your partner becomes more and more aroused. You can also start out using your fingers our tongue on the hood of the clitoris to give your partner indirect clitoral stimulation to get her aroused and allow her clitoris to become engorged and “hard” before you start using any other moves or techniques. Many women will derive great pleasure from stimulating the clitoris from outside the clitoral hood, while mixing in a few strokes directly on the clitoris as well. There are many different techniques you can use to stimulate the clitoris, such as clitoral circles, however, no matter what technique you decide to use, make sure you don’t start off hard and fast.

Q&A: Does A Woman’s Vagina Get Looser After Having Babies?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 14:00:53 +0000

A woman’s body goes through several monumental changes when she becomes pregnant and has a baby. Not only does she have mood swings and weird food cravings, she’s also going to have larger breasts and – eek! – a looser vagina if she gives birth naturally. Is this something that is permanent or is everything going to go back to normal?

Question: Is it true that the more babies a woman has had the less pleasure she feels from sex, because she is ‘loose’?

–YouTube Viewer

Does Everything Go Back To Normal?

While some women take longer to “bounce back” after having a baby than others, almost every woman’s body returns back to normal after having a child. The breast size will reduce after she stops breastfeeding, and the vagina will firm back up in the months after she’s given birth. A vagina does stretch a great deal when accomodating a the size of a baby, but the skin and tissue down there is very elastic and most of the time will return to it’s normal size and shape after everything is said and done. This certainly doesn’t happen right away, however, and it may even take several months to a year before her body is fully back to normal.

How She Can Take Care Of Herself

Exercising and eating a healthy diet is one of the best things she can do to help her own body return to normal as quickly as possible. To help her vagina return to normal after birth, she can regularly do kegel exercises. Kegels involve squeezing the PC muscles (the same ones used to stop the flow of urine) and holding them several times in a row. The PC and pelvic floor muscles are what are weakened during pregnancy and the birthing process, so exercising them regularly will help them firm up. Remember to follow all doctor’s orders for exercise, diet and sex after pregnancy. Most doctors recommend waiting at least six weeks after a natural, uncomplicated birth to release a woman for exercise and sex. This time frame may be longer if the birth was complicated or a c-section was performed.

Will Some Changes Be Permanent?

Typically, no. A woman’s body is designed to be with child and to give birth – it’s a completely natural process. The biggest changes you may notice after a woman gives birth are that she carries weight in different places than she did before or is heavier now, but of course, exercise and a healthy diet will help some with that. Her breasts may be a little saggier, but then again, gravity affects most women at some point in their lives! A woman’s vagina may be very different after giving birth if she had an episiotomy or tore during the birthing process. An episiotomy is where the skin between the vagina and anus is cut to make more room for the baby, and the incision is stitched up afterwards. Some doctors will repair vaginal tears and some won’t, depending on the doctor’s preference and the severity of the tear. This may change the way her vagina looks and feels, but it won’t stop her or you from receiving sexual pleasure and more often than not the changes are small and easy to overlook.

Q&A: Condoms – Magnum, Magnum XL, or XXL?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 14:00:49 +0000

Finding the right size condom for your penis can be difficult, especially if you’re a little larger than average in girth or length. There are a variety of larger condoms available, but some are better for wider penises and others are better for penises that are longer. Also, you want to make sure that the condom isn’t too loose and still fits well around the base of the penis. Here’s how to measure your penis and find the right condom for you.

Question: Hey I have a question, since you said on one of your videos Magnum is wider and XXL is longer, what about Magnum XL?
Is that REALLY REALLY wide or is it the longer version of Magnum?

–YouTube Viewer

Magnum vs. Magnum XL vs. Durex XXL

How do you tell which condom is the biggest or which condom is the longest? It’s not written right on the box, but here’s what Trojan has to say about the size differences between condoms. A Magnum condom is 15% larger than a standard condom. The Magnum XL condom is 30% larger than standard condoms. The Durex XXL is longer than both standard condoms and all Magnum condoms, but not as wide as the Magnum XL.

Width vs. Length

Most of the time, men who have a large penis feel uncomfortable in standard condoms because they feel too tight. This is usually a girth issue rather than a length issue, however, it’s possible to be both too wide and too long for standard condoms. Comfort, however, is not the only issue here. A condom that is too large may feel comfortable, but it is much more likely to slip off during sex and fail at protecting you and your partner from pregnancy and STD’s. Measure your penis and if your girth is below 5.5 inches, use a standard condom. If your girth is between 5.5 to 6 inches, use a regular Magnum condom. If your girth is 6 inches or more, use a Magnum XL. If your penis is exceptionally long, use a Durex XXL. Remember that for condoms to be effective, they must fit snugly at the base of the penis and maintain the semen reservoir at the top.

How Do You Measure Your Penis?

To accurately measure your penis to determine the correct condom size, get your penis as big as you can. You can do this with your partner or without, but it can certainly be more fun with a partner! If you have a fabric ruler (you can get them at sewing stores or at most superstores in the sewing and crafts section) you can use it, or you can also simply use a piece of string that is several inches long with a standard ruler. A tape measure may work to measure the length of your penis, but you won’t be able to accurately measure your girth with a tape measure. Wrap the string around your penis at the very widest part and mark where the string meets itself. Lay next to the ruler to find out how many inches wide your penis is. The same can be done for length. Take one end of the string and put it at the very base of your penis up against your groin and stretch the other end to the very tip of your penis. Measuring both the length and girth of your penis will help you find the best fitting condom for your penis size. In addition to getting the correct size condom, you can also grab a few of each style of condom and try them out to find out which one feels the best!

Q&A: Having A Baby – Will Her Vagina And Breasts Be Bigger?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 14:00:05 +0000

Many changes happen to a woman’s body during pregnancy. It’s definitely an eye opening process for a woman, however, it can be downright scary for their partners. Many guys want to know what happens to his lady’s special parts when she gets pregnant and has a baby, and if the sex will feel different for him after it’s all said and done. Here’s the downlow on how a woman’s body might change during the next 9 months.

Question: I heard from a friend that if a girl has a baby that her vagina will be wider than before and her breasts will be bigger is this true?

–YouTube Viewer

What Happens To Her Body During Pregnancy

A woman’s breasts usually do get bigger during pregnancy and especially after she has the baby. During pregnancy, a woman’s blood volume actually increases by up to 40%, and much of this blood is used to simply nourish the body’s growing reproductive organs. It also goes to the breasts and vagina and can make both look much bigger and even swollen. After the baby is born, her breasts will become even bigger as her milk comes in. They will stay large if she chooses to breastfeed, or they will reduce in size several days after discontinuing breastfeeding. If she decides to breastfeed, you will even notice that her breasts change sizes several times throughout the day as the milk comes in and the baby nurses. Your partner may also have hair and skin changes, where her hair becomes fuller and her skin becomes darker or blotchier. After the baby is born, her vagina may look and feel different. It may feel more loose or stretched out, or it may look larger and darker in color.

When Everything Goes Back To Normal

Usually, after a baby is born, a woman’s body goes back to it’s normal, pre-pregnancy state. After breastfeeding is stopped, the breasts should return to their original size. The body absorbs the extra fluid and blood that was created during pregnancy and skin discolorations generally start to subside a few days or weeks after the birth. The vagina is made to be elastic and resilient and even the vaginal canal and surrounding vulva will begin returning to normal at this point as well.

When Everything Doesn’t Go Back To Normal

While a woman’s body is designed to “bounce back” after pregnancy (even though this process can take some time), there are changes that take place that may be permanent. After breastfeeding, a woman may notice that her breasts are larger or smaller than they were before, and they may be droopier or less perky than they were before the pregnancy as well. She may lose the extra pounds she gained during pregnancy and return to her pre-pregnancy weight, however, the weight may be distributed in different places. She may now carry more weight on her hips and lower stomach, even if her “trouble spots” were always her thighs or buttocks before. The vagina may retain some of the changes that took place during pregnancy and birth, especially if her vagina tore at all and required stitches. Sometimes, doctors will perform a procedure called an episiotomy, where the skin is cut to make room for the baby and then stitched back up. This can make sex feel very different for both her and her partner.

Even though the body goes through monumental changes during pregnancy and birth, sex can still be very pleasurable – and sometimes even better than before!

Q&A: BDSM – How To Introduce Your Partner To Domination

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 14:00:58 +0000

Introducing your partner to BDSM and domination can be incredibly intimidating. Your partner may be shy about trying new things in the bedroom, or they may flat out think that BDSM is too freaky. Either way, it’s possible to warm your boyfriend or girlfriend up to domination and bondage if you play your cards right.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn, I want my boyfriend to try a bit of domination. But he seems a bit shy about doing it. How can I help him get over that shyness?

–YouTube Viewer

Taking Small Steps

You definitely can’t throw the idea of hardcore BDSM straight into your partner’s lap and expect them to be interested. That’s actually one of the fastest ways you can turn your partner off of the idea altogether. You really have to start slow when you’re introducing domination to your partner, so think about baby steps you can take and how you can start small. Try introducing your partner to bondage with a first time, introductory bondage kit complete with fuzzy handcuffs? Your partner will be less likely to be freaked out by the fuzzy cuffs and they’ll help your partner get warmed up to the real deal. Try doing a little light spanking or nibbling on your partner and see how he reacts to it. Introducing it a little bit at a time will allow your partner to process and accept domination as being pleasurable.

Introduce The Fantasy

Make sure to incorporate some of the fantasy in with your BDSM play. Don’t just tie your partner to the bed with the lights on (that is, unless, you’re doing an interrogation fantasy). That will most likely make your partner feel awkward and uncomfortable. Get your partner in the mood by roleplaying a little bit and working whatever you want to try that day into the fantasy you’re creating. Encourage your partner to try playing out their own fantasies with you as well. Try using a fantasy box, where each partner can contribute fantasies that get randomly selected on any given night. Getting your partner absorbed in a sexy fantasy will help him to want to try things he’s never tried before.

Don’t Be Pushy

If your partner isn’t comfortable with a certain fetish, don’t press him on it. Being pushy and making him feel like he’s being pressured into something he’s not comfortable with will likely have the exact opposite effect. You can’t force him to like exactly what you like or find what you like erotic. If he’s given domination a good try and he still isn’t into it, it may be time to let it go. However, introducing small things to your partner and working your way up to the big stuff slowly will help nudge your partner in the right direction without making it seem like you’re being pushy at all. Just remember not to be critical or try to make your partner feel guilty for something that they don’t want to do. If you find that you and your partner’s sexual needs aren’t fitting well, move on and find someone else who has sexual preferences that are more similar to your own.

Q&A: Long Distance Relationship – Alternatives To Phone Sex

Kaylen Jackson — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 14:00:30 +0000

One of the hardest things to do in a long distance relationship is achieve any real level of physical intimacy. Even arranging meeting face to face as often as possible isn’t going to cut it if you’re going long distance for any significant period of time. Phone sex can definitely get boring, so here’s how you can keep the fire alive in other fun ways.

Question: HELP! I’m in a long distance relationship, any tips on keeping the loving feeling going? My boyfriend isn’t really into phone sex. PLEASE HELP with any other suggestions!

–YouTube Viewer

Sexting

Send your partner racy texts or picture sexts throughout the day to remind him how hot he is for you. Encourage your partner to send you a few titillating texts of his own! Tell your partner what you want to do to him next time you see him, or what you’d like him to do to you. You and your partner will love getting unexpected, sexy texts at random times and you’ll always be on each other’s mind. If you and your partner see each other often, such as every weekend or every couple of weeks, sexting can definitely be a primary way of building up the tension leading up to the next face to face meeting.

Emails & Pictures

Emails are a great way to quickly send your partner a sexy little saying, and it’s also a good way to send him pictures of you (and vice versa) without having to get them developed. Read: as racy as you want. A word of caution when it comes to sending naked pictures of yourself over the internet: don’t send anything out that you wouldn’t mind being out there. The Internet is definitely not safe and a number of people may end up with their hands on your naked picture, even if all you did was email it to your boyfriend. However, this may not be a big issue for you.

Webcam Sex

Webcams really upped the game for couples in long distance relationships. Live webcam conversations are as close as you’re going to get to a real face to face conversation with your partner, and the same goes for sex too. Many couples have webcam “sex dates” and meet each other regularly for webcam sex. This is an excellent way for you and your partner both get relief from your sexual frustrations, as well as allowing you to feel sexually close to your partner and not allowing those loving feelings to subside too much.

Teledildonics

Teledildonics is the next big thing in long distance sex. Take remote control dildos and computerize them. Now you have a dildo that hooks up to your computer that your partner can control from their own computer. This is an excellent way to help your partner participate in your pleasure from far away. The downside to teledildonics is that they can be very expensive. Combine teledildonics with webcam sex for a long distance sex experience that is almost like the real thing! A cheaper way for your partner to become involved in your pleasure is to have a dildo made from a mold of your partner’s actual penis!

Q&A: Sexual Virgin – I’m Not Sure I’m Ready

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 14:00:05 +0000

Losing your virginity is a big step, and it’s one that you have to be emotionally and physically ready for. If you’re being pressured to have sex with someone and you’re a virgin, you may be tempted to lose your virginity just to get it “over with.” Fortunately, you don’t have to take that approach to losing your virginity. If you’re not ready, here’s how to be true to yourself and let your partner know what you’re comfortable with – and what you’re not comfortable with.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn,I am 14 years old and I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Recently he said he wanted to have sex and I am not sure if I do, but I am worried if I tell him that I don’t want to lose my virginity to him, he will think I am not into him anymore. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Staying True To Yourself

Being honest with yourself and staying true to yourself is the most important thing in this type of situation. If you’re not emotionally ready or physically ready for sex, there is absolutely no reason you should have to do it. Don’t try to convince yourself that having sex with your partner will make your relationship better or that your partner won’t think you like them if you don’t have sex with them. The only thing that matters here is what you’re comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable with having sex, don’t do it! There are no external factors here. It’s only about you and what you do or don’t want to do. If your partner pressures you to have sex when you’re not ready, or doesn’t respect your decision to wait, it’s definitely time to move on so you can be with someone who really loves you and respects your decisions.

Being Emotionally Ready For Sex – And The Consequences

Sex can bring great pleasure, but if you’re not emotionally ready for sex, it can bring a lot of trouble too. If you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend after losing your virginity to them (especially when you’re very young), it will most likely be more painful for you than if the breakup happened without you and your partner having had sex. You never forget your first time, so before you lose your virginity, make sure you’re having sex for the first time with the person you really want your first time to be with. Sex can also bring other consequences that make the situation more complicated, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Take some time to think it through and consider all the possible outcomes of having sex before you actually do it. You can’t go back after you’ve done it and do it differently or take more time. Once you do it, it can’t be undone, so really think it through first.

Educate Yourself About Sex

You may think you know what you need to know about sex, but you’d really be surprised at what you haven’t learned yet. Take some time to educate yourself about safe sex, condoms, the morning after pill, pregnancy and various types of sexually transmitted diseases and the different ways you can get them or pass them on. Don’t rely on someone else to tell yo what’s up when it comes to sex, and don’t wait until after you’ve had sex for the first time to find these things out. If you do decide to have sex with your partner and have decided you’re emotionally ready for it, make sure you know how to keep yourself safe too.

Q&A: Dating Tips – How Do I Make Her Like Me Even Though I’m White

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:00:48 +0000

You like someone, but they don’t like you for some silly, superficial reason. What do you do? Should you try your best to get them to see past whatever it is that makes them not want to date you (because it is silly, after all) or do you simply let go and accept yourself for who you are? Here’s what to do when someone doesn’t want to date you because of something on the outside and won’t take time to get to know you on the inside.

Question: A girl says she only likes men who aren’t white. Is there a way to get her to like me even though I’m white?

–YouTube Viewer

Everyone Has Their Own Preferences

You’ve heard the saying, “to each their own.” This applies perfectly to this situation, because the truth of the matter is, everyone likes what they like. They also don’t like what they don’t like, and very rarely does that ever change. If it does, it is usually not because someone tried to “get” them to change their minds, but because the person themselves decided to try something new. If someone you like doesn’t like white people, or blondes or people that are too fat or too thin or even nerds or jocks for that matter, it may be superficial but you have to realize it’s what they like and that’s just the way it is. You like what you like (and don’t like what you don’t like) and while you may be more open minded than other people about who you want to date, you still have your preferences. Other people have theirs too, whether it seems silly to you or not and there’s just not much you can do about it.

Why “Getting” Someone To Like You Can Backfire

Trying to get someone to like you if they don’t can really end up blowing up in your face if you aren’t careful. Often, people who are trying to make someone like them end up trying too hard and end up losing themselves in the process. If someone you like doesn’t like certain things about you such as your hair or your body build, you may feel compelled to get a hair cut or color and sign up for an expensive gym membership, spending the majority of your time working out. In essence, people end up changing themselves so much in the process of trying to make someone like them that they can’t stay in touch with their true selves. And in the end, it usually doesn’t work anyway and they still don’t like you. At the end of the day, you’re disappointed with a version of yourself that you’re not familiar with. Many people in this situation have pushed away friends and family during this time as well. Of course, this is worst case scenario. Regardless of what happens, however, trying to “make” someone like you very rarely works out to that person’s advantage.

Being Confident In Who You Are

Take a break from dating and figure out who you are, what you like and what you don’t like. Figure out things you’re willing to sacrifice in a relationship and what you’re not. Learn to be confident in yourself and love yourself for who you are, just the way you are. When you start dating again, date people who are interested in the real you and will accept you as you are. There are plenty of those people out there!

Q&A: Kissing Tips

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 14:00:20 +0000

Kissing is one of the most intimate things you can do with someone and sometimes it can be even more titillating and amazing than sex! Kissing doesn’t always come naturally though, and you definitely don’t want to be a bad kisser. Here’s how you can learn to be a great kisser, no matter who you’re kissing or how good or bad you are at it to begin with!

Question: Do you have any good kissing tips?

–YouTube Viewer

Relax And Start Slow

There’s no need to rush into kissing! Kissing is sensual and passionate, so it’s important to relax and let yourself be in the moment. If you’re too tense and nervous, you’re not going to be kissing very well and your partner will definitely notice your stiffness. Take a few minutes to breathe before you begin kissing and allow yourself to become loose and relaxed. Start slow, and work your way up to more heavy “making out.” You can, of course, continue kissing slow if you want! That’s one of the best things about kissing – it can be whatever you want it to be, whether you want to make out passionately with your partner or kiss them in a slow, delicious, sensual way.

It’s Not A Means To An End

Many couples who have already had sex treat kissing like it is a means to an end and that kissing is simply a short prelude to the actual act of intercourse. These couples need to start treating kissing like couples who haven’t had sex do, and kiss or make out with each other just for the sake of kissing or making out! For most couples that have not yet had sex don’t have anywhere to “go” at the end of the kiss, so they make the kiss last as long as possible! To become a great kisser, don’t think of kissing as first base and your goal as home base. Instead, treat kissing like it’s the only place you have to be or want to go. Let the kissing overcome you and don’t be worried about what is going to happen next.

Practice Good Oral Hygiene

Many great kissers become bad kissers not because of their technique, but simply because of their poor oral hygiene. Practice great hygiene and your partner may not notice your actual kissing ability. Instead, they’ll be thinking about how great your mouth tastes and smells! Instead of just chewing gum and using breathmints, which only serve to cover up unsavory smells and tastes, actually get your mouth clean. Visit your dentist regularly for cleanings and have any infections or cavities treated and taken care of. Brush your teeth daily or twice a day, and floss daily as well. Common dental problems like cavities, plaque and gum disease can make your breath smell and taste bad, making your partner not want to kiss you no matter how good you are. If you put your oral hygiene first, you’ll become a great kisser by proxy and then you can spend time working on your actual techniques to take being a good kisser to the next level and become a great kisser!

Q&A: Safe Sex – Using The Withdrawal Method

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 14:00:00 +0000

There are a number of different birth control methods that work well to drastically reduce the risk of pregnancy or contracting sexually transmitted diseases, but many guys insist on trying birth control methods that don’t really work at all! A lot of guys want to pull out, simply because it feels better than wearing a condom. Here’s why you shouldn’t pull out and how you can have safe sex that still feels great.

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 23. He wants to use the withdrawal method, but it’s not always effective! How do I tell him?

–YouTube Viewer

Why Pulling Out Doesn’t Work

Simply put, if a penis touches a vagina without protection, there is a risk of pregnancy involved. Even if there is no penetration, if there is genital to genital touching, the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant goes up. This risk, of course, goes up the more contact there is. Consider the penis a loaded gun. There are most likely sperm present before ejaculation, whether it is because ejaculation took place not long before, or because pre-semen or pre-ejaculate can contain sperm as well. It takes only one sperm to get a woman pregnant, although millions are present in very small amounts of semen. Not only are you taking a risk of becoming pregnant or getting an STD simply by allowing a penis to touch your vagina without some sort of protection, you are also taking a greater risk by trusting your partner to pull out at just the right time when he’s on the brink of orgasm. This usually ends in disaster! Statistically speaking, the withdrawal method has a pregnancy rate similar to having completely unprotected sex.

Other Methods Of Birth Control

Condoms, of course, are the number one form of birth control. They are easy to purchase, easy to use and protect against both pregnancy and STD’s. No other form of birth control does all those things. However, if you’d like to forgo using condoms, there are many different kinds of birth control you can use so you can still have great sex safely. First, you and your partner need to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Make a committment to each other that you will be monogamous, so once you and your partner are given the green light, you can continue to stay disease free without a condom. Do not have sex without a condom until both of your test results come back! To protect against pregnancy, talk to your doctor about different forms of birth control. Hormonal birth control, such as the pill, the patch or the shot are popular, while barrier methods such as spermicide and diaphragms are also still being used. You can also consider doubling up with a hormonal and barrier birth control method. Talk to your doctor and talk to your partner about which options are right for you.

No Glove, No Love

If you want your partner to wear a condom, he needs to wear a condom. If he doesn’t, simply put your foot down and state that there isn’t going to be any sex without a condom. If you’re not comfortable with the withdrawal method or other forms of birth control, your partner needs to respect that. There are tons of great condom styles out there, including large and small condoms, non-latex condoms for men who are allergic to latex, flavored and scented condoms, colored condoms, glow in the dark condoms and much, much more! There’s no reason that using a condom during sex can’t make it safe and fun!

Q&A: Flirting Tips – How To Deal With That Awkward Silence

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 14:00:13 +0000

It happens to everyone – you know, that awkward silence or conversation dead zone during a date where neither you nor your partner are sure what to say next. Are silences always uncomfortable, or can it be a good thing sometimes? Here’s how to enjoy the silence from time to time, but also how to plan things to ask so you and your partner can have great conversations and really get to know each other!

Question: I want to know what to say when it gets all silent when you’re talking to girl, because I really don’t know what to say next! I feel like I’ve already talked about everything. Please help, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

Silence Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Having a few quiet moments during a date isn’t so bad, especially if you’re having a meal together. You and your partner need time to actually eat! Society conditions us to be around noise all the time, through television, radio and the Internet. Most people’s homes nowadays aren’t quiet at all – there’s always some kind of noise or talking going on in the background. So naturally, people begin to feel comfortable around constant noise and are actually made uncomfortable by being in silence. Sometimes silence is good. However, there is a big difference between that good old fashioned “comfortable silence” and the awkward kind that can go on a bit too long. Here’s how to combat the latter.

Learn More About Her

While you may be tempted to talk on and on about yourself because you’re A) not really sure what questions to ask her and B) you’re afraid of letting the conversation die, talking only about yourself on the first date is the quickest way to throw away your chance at a second date. Take some time to plan out some different types of questions to ask your date so you can get to learn more about her. Ask her questions about her day, where she works, what she likes and what her favorite things are. Ask her what she might do in different hypothetical situations. Believe it or not, these types of questions can help you learn a lot about a person! Be prepared to answer the same questions yourself. You may find that a lot of questions open up new conversations!

Use A Cheat Sheet

If you’re talking to your partner on the phone, having a cheat sheet full of questions you want to ask is a great way to keep the conversation going. While some dead time is almost always acceptable during a face to face date, dead time on the phone usually isn’t. Need some help thinking of questions to ask your date to keep the conversation going? Use Michael Webb’s 1000 Questions For Couples. It’s a comprehensive guide absolutely chock full of tons of questions that you can ask your partner – and not just the usual ones that you hear all the time. These questions will really get the ball rolling on a date. They’re also great questions to ask even if you’ve been in a committed relationship with someone, because many of these questions you probably won’t know the answer to even if you’ve been with your partner for years!

Q&A: Female Orgasm – I Could Never Make My Ex Climax

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:00:44 +0000

If there’s a girl you aren’t able to give an orgasm to, you’re not alone. Unfortuately, being in the same boat with tons of other guys doesn’t exactly make being unable to pleasure a certain girl any less frustrating. So what gives? Is there really something wrong with you, or is it time to accept what happened and move on? Could she have even contributed to the problem?

Question: I recently went through a fairly rough break-up but often find myself thinking about my ex. We were together for almost two years and in this time I could never make her orgasm (a first for me). I am quite well endowed and very fit and have never had trouble making others girls climax, but my inadequacies with her have really effected my confidence. What can I do to get over my insecurities and be comfortable with my inability to pleasure her?

–YouTube Viewer

Moving On

If there’s a certain girl you can’t give an orgasm to – but have no problems with any other girls – there’s not much you can do about it. Sometimes it hit or miss, and if you’ve been lucky so far, you’ve simply come upon your dues. It’s time to move on, especially if you and this particular girl aren’t together any more and have broken up. You may want to brood over what happened and try to figure out why you weren’t able to give her an orgasm, but it’s really not going to do you much good. Many times, there is no why and things like that just happen. Sometimes two people are sexually incompatible, no matter how many other girls you were sexually compatible with. Realize that it’s time to move on and get back in the game.

Brushing Up On Your Orgasm Skills

That said, it never hurts to brush up on your orgasm skills. You may think you know all there is to know about female orgasms, but you’d be surprised at how much you probably don’t know about giving a woman a climax. Take the Orgasm Quiz and assess your orgasm skills. You’ll get the Top 25 Female Orgasm Tips after you take the quiz, which are free and include twenty five great tips on how to please a woman. Learning new tricks and techniques to use in the bedroom is a great way to make sure you know what you’re doing and can try to give every girl you’re with a mind blowing orgasm.

Was It Her?

While you may be content to blame yourself and commit yourself to learning every female orgasm secret known to man, you need to realize that part of the reason you were unable to give your partner an orgasm could be because of her hang ups, not yours. Don’t be so fast to completely blame her, but realize that it takes a lot on the woman’s part to have an orgasm. She must be relaxed, stress free and open to having an orgasm. If she was stressing about a test or work the next day, or going through some particularly stressful situations, she may have been unable to reach climax regardless of how great your bedroom skills were.

Q&A: Dating A Younger Woman Or Man

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:00:12 +0000

Age differences between a two people who are dating are becoming more and more common. As Internet dating becomes more popoular and as people become more openminded in an evolving society, age doesn’t necessarily mean a whole lot these days. However, when does age matter when dating a younger woman or a younger man? Are there ways to keep dating outside of your “age range” safe for both you and your partner?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, this girl and I have been talking and she and I both really like each other, but our age difference is substantial, however, I don’t see a problem with it. She still likes me but she is nervous to be with me. What is your advice on my situation?

–YouTube Viewer

The Older You Get, The Less It Matters

When you get older, an age difference between you and your partner matters less and less. For example, if you’re 75 and your partner is just 60, it’s less of an issue than if you’re 32 and your partner is 17. If you or your partner are currently middle age, then there is even less to worry about. If you are 40 and your partner is 55, you’ll find that people are actually surprised that you’re fifteen years apart! If you’re young, however, the age difference can easily become a big deal. Even just a few years in this case can be a problem. If you’re 16 and your partner is 18 or even 19, you’ll notice that a lot of people have something to say about dating a younger woman or man.

Take It Slow

When you’re young, don’t be afraid to take it slow if you and your partner are a few or several years apart. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow and it can pose less of an issue if you and your partner are dating without being sexually active, depending on your age. This comes into play more often if one partner is under the age of eighteen and one partner is over the age of eighteen. The younger man or woman may want to wait until they turn eighteen before the couple takes the relationship to the next level. Regardless of the age difference, however, make sure you and your partner are both ready to take that step if the time comes. If you aren’t, there’s no reason to rush it!

When It Becomes A Legal Problem

Legally, eighteen is the age in which people can give consent to have sex. If you or your partner are under the age of eighteen and one of you is over, it can become a legal issue when sex becomes involved. A vindictive parent may decide they want to press charges for “statutory rape” or “corruption of a minor” even if the “victim” is just a few weeks or even days shy of being eighteen. Parents can press charges even if the “victim” was fully consenting of the sexual act. The statute of limitations on this kind of charge is long enough that you could be in trouble well after your partner turns eighteen. If both partners are under the age of eighteen, the issue becomes less of a problem as both parties involved are considered minors. However, once one partner turns eighteen, legally you and your partner can get in more trouble than it was worth. The best thing to do in a situation like this is play it safe and wait!

Q&A: Bad Breath – How To Prevent And Treat It

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 14:00:36 +0000

A huge turn off for a lot of people is bad breath. There’s nothing that will kill a sexy mood like getting a whiff of your partner’s bad breath when you’re leaning in for a kiss or getting hot and heavy on your way to the bedroom. So how do you tell your partner they have bad breath without offending them, and how can you treat it so it doesn’t happen again?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, sometimes when I am with my boyfriend, he has bad breath. I find it a real turn OFF. How can I tell him without hurting his feelings? His oral hygiene is really good, just sometimes he has bad breath … any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

Be Honest

It’s important to be honest with your partner about their bad breath. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you if you had bad breath? Of course! Give your guy a heads up about what is going on in a kind and non-critical way. Don’t act like your breath doesn’t ever stink, either because it most certainly does! Everyone has bad breath problems from time to time, whether it’s a medical condition or simply because of something they ate. Have a laugh about it! Your guy isn’t going to get his feelings hurt unless you’re mean about the issue or unless he’s really, really super sensitive. Let him know that it’s not really that big a deal – just that you two need to fix it so you can kiss, make out and have sex whenever without having to worry about bad breath.

What Causes Bad Breath?

There are a lot of contributors to bad breath, and not all of them are just foods. Medical issues that can cause bad breath are cavities, infections in the teeth or gums and gum disease. Often, bad breath caused by these conditions is some of the worse bad breath that is out there! Vitamins, supplements and certain medications can also cause bad breath, as well as doing illegal drugs and smoking. Diseases such as diabetes can also contribute to or cause bad breath. If your partner suspects that his bad breath is a medical problem, have him speak to his doctor about things that can be contributing to his bad breath, such as medications or diseases. Your partner’s doctor can rule out any serious causes for his bad breath and even give him a few pointers on how best to handle it.

How To Handle It

Encourage your partner to have regular cleanings and to have cavities filled if they’re needed. Make sure your partner brushes at least twice daily and flosses once a day. You’ll be surprised at how big a difference these little things can make! Even skipping a six month cleaning with the dentist can contribute greatly to bad breath that can’t be fixed with gum or mouthwash. For things that can be fixed with gum and mouthwash, make sure you stock up on plenty of it! Keep it at home, in the car and in your purse so you always have it around. Lead by example and let your partner see how great your kisses can smell and taste! He’ll want to follow in your footsteps and get a minty fresh mouth of his own.

Q&A: Sex Positions – Putting A Pillow Under Her Back And Hips

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:00:34 +0000

Finding good sex positions that both you and your partner find comfortable – and pleasurable – isn’t always as easy as everyone makes it sound. In fact, many people struggle with sex positions, so if you’re trying to find the right one, you’re not alone. Are there ways to support your or your partner’s body during sex without expensive sex furniture and just using items found around the house?

Question: Say she’s laying on her back during sex. Does putting a pillow under her lower back and buttocks help with anything?

–Facebook Fan

Changing The Angle Of Penetration

Propping a pillow under your partner’s lower back and buttocks when you’re in the missionary position (whether you’re on top or she’s on top) can drastically change the sensations both you and your partner experience. Commonly, many men prefer to be on top while their partner’s are below them, with a pillow under their buttocks. This lifts the woman’s pelvis and provides for lots of different angles. Use larger or smaller pillows based on how different you want the angle of penetration to be. Experiment with different sizes of pillows until you and your partner find a position that you both really enjoy! You can also use pillows underneath her lower back and buttocks if you want to reach the g-spot more easily with your penis. The g-spot is located on the top wall of the vagina, so it is difficult to reach if you’re just in the standard missionary position.

Penetrating More Deeply

Men who have smaller penises will also benefit from using the pillow propping technique. Propping your partner’s pelvis up with a pillow will allow you to penetrate your partner’s vagina much more deeply than if you were simply having sex missionary style. This will make your partner feel like your penis is much longer than it really is and help you to reach her g-spot and other sensitive areas within the vagina. Of course, anyone who wants deeper penetration during sex can use this technique, but men with exceptionally large penises may want to go slow at first to make sure their partner is comfortable. You may be surprised at just how deep you can go with a pillow underneath your partner!

Using A Pillow During Oral Sex

Many men also prop their partner’s pelvises up on pillows when performing oral sex as well. Placing a pillow under your partner’s lower back and buttocks during oral sex doesn’t necessarily make it better for her in a straightforward manner, but most men report that it helps keep them from getting a crick in their neck. Ladies, if your man is comfortable down there, he’s liable to stay down there longer and give you an even better orgasm! Again, try using different size pillows until you find one that you are most comfortable with and gives you the best angle for oral sex.

Failing the pillow technique, you can always invest in a great piece of sex furniture. Although they can be somewhat expensive, the Tantra Sex Chair is a great way to help you and your partner get into just about any position you can imagine, and comfortably too!

Q&A: Do You Lose Your Friends When You Fall In Love?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 14:00:43 +0000

When many people fall in love, the relationships they have with other people (such as their friends) start to fade. Is this something inevitable that happens whenever people fall in love and commit themselves to a relationship with one other person, or is it something that can be avoided? Can you keep your friends after you fall in love?

Question: Do you lose your friends once you fall in love?

–YouTube Viewer

All Relationships Require Nurturing

Every single relationship requires “care” and “feeding.” Whether it’s a friendship, a committed relationship, a work relationship or other type of relationship, each one will require you to nurture it for the relationship to last. A friendship cannot last if you do not spend time with your friends or stop calling them. Each relationship requires a certain amount of give and take. If your friends are doing all of the giving and you’re not giving them anything back, your friendships are going to fizzle quickly.

Why New Relationships Cause People To Lose Friends

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. When you’re in love with someone, you naturally want to spend all your time with them. Any free moment that you get will be spent with them, while everyone else waits on the sidelines. Of course, not everyone will wait for you to find some time in your schedule for them and will soon go about their business. Pretty soon, you won’t have anyone sitting on the sidelines waiting for you. Unfortunately, this happens all to often with new relationships. People don’t take the time out they need to for their friends, instead they spend almost all of their time with their new boyfriend or girlfriend. Eventually, they’ll notice that they really don’t have any friends left. This can even happen to the deepest, longest lasting friendships. Even if you have been friends with someone since kindergarten and you have seen each other through everything, if you don’t devote some time to your friends, you stand a very good chance of losing them.

Find Time For Your Friends

While you may be tempted to spend the majority of your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend because everything is so new and feels so wonderful, it’s important that you make time for your friends too. Schedule a regular “girls” or “guys” night out once a week or every couple of weeks. Take some time to connect with your friends, talking about what is going on in your life and asking them about theirs. You may also be tempted to talk your friends’ ears off about how great your new boyfriend or girlfriend is, but make sure you listen to them talk about their lives too. You may devote plenty of time to your friends, but if all they’re doing is listening to you go on about your life, they’re going to start coming up with excuses as to why they can’t do girls’ night this week. Ideally, your friendships should stay the same no matter what type of relationships you’re going through. Whether you’re in a relationship, out of a relationship or playing the field, your friendships should be the rock you can rely on throughout everything.

Q&A: Oral Sex – My Girlfriend Doesn’t Orgasm When I Go Down On Her?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 14:00:01 +0000

If your girlfriend isn’t having an orgasm when you give her oral sex, you’re not alone. While many women love oral sex, others just can’t let go enough to get to the big “O” when their guys are going down on them. Here’s how to figure out why she’s not able to have an orgasm through oral sex and what you can do to change it.

Question: Me and my girlfriend have a good sex life but whenever I go down on her she stops me after about 5-10 minutes and tells me she’s too tired. This sounds strange to me because whenever she performs on me I don’t seem to get tired. This bothers me because she rarely reaches orgasm and she doesn’t get the full satisfaction. Is there anything I can do and is this common in women?

–YouTube Viewer

Why She’s Getting Frustrated

It’s easy for a woman to get frustrated with her partner when he’s going down on her. If she’s not getting close to orgasm, or she is getting close and just can’t seem to make it over the edge, it can easily cause frustration and make her want to stop. There could be a lot of reasons why she’s not able to reach orgasm. She might not be able to relax after her day at work or school and the stress of day to day problems might not be something she’s easily able to let go of. Another reason she may not be able to have an orgasm when you go down on her is your technique. You may actually be causing her pain instead of pleasure, because a woman’s clitoris and vaginal folds can be very sensitive to too much pressure or the wrong kind of touch.

Learning To Communicate With Your Partner

Your girlfriend may be telling you she is “too tired” to continue on with oral sex because she just doesn’t know what else to tell you. She may be embarrassed to tell you that you’re not doing it right, or she may not know how to tell you what she likes when you go down on her. As a result, she may just be settling for telling you that she’s too tired and giving up on getting pleasure from oral sex all together. If you really want to learn how to pleasure her orally, take some time to talk to her and communicate with her. Don’t do it during sex, before sex or right after. Discuss with her how she feels about it and what suggestions she has for doing it differently when you are having dinner or watching a movie.

Brush Up On Your Oral Sex Skills

Don’t assume that because your girlfriend is telling you that she’s too tired for oral sex that it’s what she really means. Don’t assume that your oral sex skills are fine and that the problem lies with her. There is always room for learning and brushing up on your oral sex skills! You’d be surprised at what you don’t know about female anatomy and how a woman likes to recieve oral sex. Take our female orgasm quiz to see if you really know how to please a woman when you go down on her!

Q&A: How Do I Ask My Girlfriend For Naked Pictures?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 14:00:45 +0000

If you’d rather look at a naked picture of your girlfriend rather than look at porn, you’re not alone. But how can you get her to take a naked picture and most of all, how can you get her to give it to you? Can you just ask her for a naked picture of herself, or is there more to it than that? Here’s what you need to know before asking your lady love for a photo of her lady parts.

Question: Can you tell me how can I ask my girlfriend for a naked picture? We have been together almost a year but I’ve never seen her naked! So how can I ask her for naked picture? Is there any special way I should ask her?

–YouTube Viewer

Have You Been Intimate Together Yet?

If you and your girlfriend haven’t had sex together yet, it’s understandable why you would want to see a naked picture of her. You’ve probably fantasized about what she would look like naked, and depending on how long you have been dating, you might be tired of waiting! However, there are many reasons why you shouldn’t ask your girlfriend for a naked picture of herself, especially if you haven’t been intimate with her yet!

When Asking For A Naked Picture Can Get Creepy

If you and your girlfriend haven’t had sex with each other yet, asking for a naked picture of her can be downright creepy and somewhat stalker-ish! For people to be comfortable enough with each other to pass naked pictures of each other back and forth, they usually have to had sex first. That doesn’t mean hurry up and have sex with your girlfriend just so you can get a naked picture of her though! Enjoy your relationship now, and intimacy will happen in its own time. There are many ways that having her take a picture of herself in the nude with her bare breasts can backfire, especially if you and her are under the age of eighteen. If you and her (or just her) are under the age of eighteen, having her take a nude photo is actually illegal and could get you in a lot of trouble. Plus, naked pictures always seem to get into the hands of people who shouldn’t have them, no matter how hard you try to keep them to yourself. Her parents may find them on her phone, or someone could put them up on the Internet without her or your knowledge! It’s better to steer clear of the potential mess that naked pictures can make entirely.

When To Ask

If you and your girlfriend are over the age of eighteen and have been intimate together for quite some time or are even possibly living together, she may be comfortable enough to provide you with a naked picture of yourself for your viewing pleasure. If this is the case, suggest a sexy photo shoot with your partner. Try clothes on at first and see what happens. Don’t push your girlfriend into doing anything she’s uncomfortable with, no matter how silly you may think it is that she doesn’t want to take a picture of herself nude. If she’s uncomfortable with it, drop it.

Q&A: Magic Eight Ball – Will I Have A Girlfriend In College?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 14:00:05 +0000

Going off to college is a huge step. You’re worried about lots of things, like your classes, your grades and definitely your dating life! College is a great place to meet people, make new friends and build solid relationships. Will you have a girlfriend or boyfriend in college? Here’s how to find out!

Question: My question is plain and simple so hopefully you will answer. I haven’t had a girlfriend in 8 months. I am currently in high school going off to college. Is there potential I will have a girlfriend in college?

–YouTube Viewer

It Depends On You!

No Magic 8 Ball can truly tell you whether you’ll have a girlfriend in college or not. If you want to have a girlfriend when you go off to college, it’s up to you to make it happen! If you’re hanging out alone in your dorm room playing video games when you’re not in class, you’re not going to meet people. There are thousands of great people at every college or university, and most of them are from out of town and have left their friends and families at home. They’re looking to meet people and develop friendships and relationships too! It’s up to you to put yourself out there so people can meet you and get to know you.

How To Meet Girls In College

When you’re not studying, make an effort to go to some of the on campus activities. Most colleges and universities offer a variety of activities such as volleyball, fooseball tournaments, pool and more. These activites are a great way to meet new people! Pick up the campus newsletter to find out when things are happening and get your studying done so you can plan to go to the activities. Colleges also post things on billboards around campus, so take a few minutes while you’re waiting for the shuttle to check out the flyers. You can also hang out at an on campus coffee shop, study hall or even the student union. Keep an open mind and a friendly, positive attitude and don’t be afraid to approach someone to say hello! If someone approaches you, be warm and receptive rather than shy. Going to college and being around so many new faces is scary but it can also be fun!

Don’t Get Discouraged

Even if you don’t meet someone right away, don’t stress out. If you continue to put yourself out there, you’ll eventually meet someone that wants to date you and vice versa. Start by making friendships and spending time with new friends. Meet them to eat at the dining hall or meet for a study group on the weekend. Friendships open doors to meeting new people as well, because you’ll get to know the friends of friends and so on. Eventually you’ll hit it off with a girl and start a fun, exciting new relationship that might turn into something that lasts! Remember that dating in college is all about having fun and learning new things. If it doesn’t work out with one girl, it doesn’t mean you’ll never find anyone. This is the time to pick yourself back up and get back in the game! When you present your best self, people will want to get to know you.

Q&A: Should I Get Married If His or Her Family Does Not Approve?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 14:00:37 +0000

It happens more often than we like – your parents don’t approve of him or his parents don’t like you. The relationship is great and you want to get married and commit to each other, but how do you handle the parental situation? Should you wait to get married or even dump your significant other because of what your parents or his parents think?

Question: I am engaged to be married. I love this guy more than anything, we are 21 and have been together for almost 5 years. However, his parents do not want him to marry me. We are of different social classes and they think I “control” his life. The reason they think this is because their son has grown up and wants to make his own decisions and they don’t like it. His family treats me fine but it’s what they say when I leave that is the problem. By the way, I have never been fond of his parents.

–YouTube Viewer

Live Your Life

Your life is not about making decisions based on what other people think. If you are happy with your fiance and you have a good relationship, focus your energy on that rather than what his parents think about you. If you dump him because his parents don’t want him to be with you, you could be throwing away a great relationship that has the potential to enrich your life for years to come. You deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship and if you already have one, don’t give it up just because someone else thinks he shouldn’t be with you. Make the decisions that better your life and deal with the rest later.

Are You Really Ready For Marriage?

It is possible to have a great long term relationship without ever getting married. So think about it. Are you really ready for marriage? Are you keen on marrying your fiance because his parents don’t want you to, so you can prove them wrong? If your motivations for marriage aren’t pure, or you aren’t completely ready to make the commitment of marriage, consider just having a great, monogamous long term relationship instead. You and your fiance can be happy together and have a healthy relationship without the marriage license if that’s what you want. Don’t tie the knot if it’s just in response to his parents’ dislike of you. You may come to regret it later.

How Will You Deal With His Family?

Before getting married, talk to your fiance about how you and he will deal with his family when the time comes. How will you arrange holidays? Will you accompany him on visits to the family? It may be fine for you to stay home before you have children, but once children come into play, it can be very difficult to have separate holidays. What does your partner think about it? Does he have any ideas on how he will handle the situation when you and he get married? These are things that you need to discuss with your partner before you tie the knot, so there are no surprises later on down the road.

Q&A: I Feel Guilty If My Girlfriend Doesn’t Climax

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 14:00:21 +0000

Getting your girl to climax can be a huge turn on for you. But you don’t want her to orgasm just sometimes, you want her to have an orgasm every single time you have sex with her! Is this a realistic expectation? Do women have orgasms as often as men? Here’s how to increase your chances of giving your girl the big O – and whether you can expect her to be able to do it every time.

Question: My girlfriend and I are both 20 and my question to you two GURU’s are if feeling bad is natural after having sex IF my girlfriend does not orgasm? About 65 % of the time she does climax, but when she doesn’t, I feel as if I HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR IT. Is it normal for girls not to climax as much as guys?

–YouTube Viewer

It Might Not Happen Every Time

Men generally climax every time they have sex, but not always. Women, however, take longer to reach climax than guys and therefore may not have an orgasm every time. It may take her even longer to climax when she’s tired or stressed out, making it even more difficult for her to reach climax in a reasonable period of time. This is normal! A woman doesn’t have to have an orgasm each time she has sex to actually enjoy it – nor does a man. Don’t pressure to have an orgasm or hold out for a long time to wait for her to come. This will make it even harder for her to reach climax!

Communicate With Her

Talk to your partner and ask her what she’s in the mood for. She may want a quickie, or may be too tired to do anything at all! She may want to have sex but she may not feel up to having an orgasm. Let’s face it – having an orgasm is tiring! Don’t stress out about it if she doesn’t want to have an orgasm or even finds that she is unable to orgasm. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you or love you, and it certainly doesn’t mean she’s not enjoying sex with you. There are a lot of external reasons why a woman might not be able to climax at any given time. Communicate with her about how she’s feeling so you’re not left in the dark when she doesn’t have an orgasm.

The Best Ways To Give Her An Orgasm

Don’t assume that your penis is all she needs to reach the big “O.” In fact, many women find that vaginal penetration is the most difficult way to reach climax! Study up on some different ways to please your partner and put them into practice. Learn how to give her an orgasm using your mouth and your hands, and practice turning her on that way before you even start having sex! Some women will actually have multiple orgasms during sex if they’ve had one before sex through oral sex. If stress is her problem, try relaxing with her first and allowing her to de-stress from the day with a beer or a glass of wine. If being exhausted is her issue, try having sex in the morning before she goes to work for the day!

Q&A: Can A Relationship That Starts As An Affair Really Last?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:00:43 +0000

People start relationships in a variety of different ways. You might meet someone at a coffee shop, a bowling alley, a bar or through a friend. Or you may have had an affair with them while you were in another relationship. Can a relationship that was once an affair really succeed or is this relationship doomed to end?

Question: What’s the chances a relationship can work when both sides lied and had affairs on their spouses? Do they normally last?

–YouTube Viewer

Statistically Speaking

Statistically, a relationship that starts out as an affair generally won’t work out. In fact, second marriages statistically have a higher failure rate than first marriages, and third marriages and so on have an even higher failure rate than that. But these are just statistics. It doesn’t mean that your particular relationship won’t work out or is doomed to fail. A relationship is made up of many, many more things than how you met. Many relationships have difficult beginnings that both partners are able to move past to create a healthy, happy relationship.

That said, two people must truly trust each other and be honest with each other if their relationship is going to last. Typically these are issues that people have with each other when the relationship starts out as an affair. You and your partner may both feel that the other is going to cheat again, since they cheated on their previous partners. While this doesn’t mean it will happen, you and your partner need to sit down and talk with each other and make a committment to be completely honest with each other and trust each other.

Repeating The Same Patterns

The biggest reason that relationships don’t work out is not because of how you met or even what went on at the beginning of the relationship. Many people carry with them the same habits and issues that made their previous relationships fail. Instead of solving the deeper issues that are at the core of the relationship problems, they assume that it is their partner’s fault and move on to find someone else without those “faults.” In reality, they are simply taking the same problems with them into a new relationship. They will repeat the same patterns over and over until they truly realize what is at the heart of the matter.

Resolve Your Own Inner Issues

For any relationship to succeed, whether it started out as an affair or not, you must solve your own inner issues before you are able to fully commit to a happy, healthy and trusting relationship. Take some time to think about what might have caused your earlier relationships to go awry, and think about how you might have contributed to those issues. Think about what your previous partners have said about you, and if there is a trend there. Are they all saying the same thing? Could there possibly be some truth to the matter? It’s not easy taking such a deep look within yourself at all your flaws and failures, but for any relationship to succeed, you need to resolve your own inner issues. Work towards bettering yourself and bettering your relationship by eliminating your contributions to problems in this relationship and past relationships.

Q&A: Oral Sex – How Do I Get Him To Go Down On Me?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 14:00:41 +0000

Girls love oral sex just as much as a guy loves blowjobs. But many guys don’t give their partners as much oral sex as they would like! If you’re really into receiving oral sex from him but only find yourself on the giving end, here’s how to get your partner to go down on YOU as much as you go down on him!

Question: I have a question that I can’t ever seem to find an answer to. I always hear advice like “how to get her to go down on you more.” But what I want to know is how do I get HIM to go down on ME more?

–YouTube Viewer

Ask Him!

Your partner may not be aware that you really love getting oral sex. He may think you love giving head more! So tell him point blank that you really enjoy it and want him to do it. Some guys need straightforward information to get a clue that you’re really into something or really want to try something. If you’re a little shy about asking him, hint around at it. Tell him how much you love the idea of oral sex period, for both men and women. Watch a sexy movie together and when a guy goes down on a girl, tell him how hot it gets you.

Find Out Why He Doesn’t Like It

There are many reasons why some guys don’t like oral sex. Find out what his reason is! Does it hurt his neck? Would sitting on a pillow or using a different position help? Or is he more receptive to trying simultaneous oral sex, better known as the sixty nine position? Find out why he doesn’t like it or isn’t doing it – without being critical towards him – and try to remedy those issues. If you’re critical towards him when he’s being open with you about why he doesn’t like giving oral sex, he’ll shut down and any chance you have of getting him to do it will fly out the window.

Hygiene And Body Chemistry

Hygiene is one of the biggest reasons guys don’t like giving oral sex. He may have had a bad experience before where smell and taste is concerned, and he may think that all girls are like that. Make sure you are clean, up to the point of taking a shower right before having oral sex. Keep an eye out for things like yeast or bacterial infections that can upset the natural pH of the vagina and cause things like odor and discharge. If pubic hair is an issue for him, consider trimming or shaving completely. It also may be a body chemistry thing. His semen has a certain taste to it, and so do your vaginal secretions. Your particular taste may not be something that jives with his own chemistry and it may not taste good to him no matter how clean you are. Body chemistry mismatches happen more often than people think. Try eating some sweet fruit like pineapple or strawberries to make your secretions taste sweeter, and avoid things like cabbage, garlic, onions or other strong foods.

Q&A: How To Turn Down A Good Friend Who Wants To Date

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 14:00:10 +0000

When a friend wants to date and you don’t return the feelings, it can make for an uncomfortable situation for both of you. You’ve turned him down, but he’s still at it and it’s starting to get a little creepy! Here’s how you can let him know that you’re not interested in being more than friends and actually get him to hear you.

Question: There is this guy that I’m friends with and he’s a nice guy but I don’t have any interest in him other than friends. He asked me out and I said no, but he is still sending me gifts and asking me out. Having to reject him constantly is getting kind of pathetic and is creeping me out! How can I get him to get over me without hurting his feelings?

–YouTube Viewer

Be Firm

One of the main reasons that people who want to be more than friends keep at it even after they’ve been turned down multiple times is because the person they like is giving them mixed signals. You may have turned him down, but you also may have given him some kind of signal that makes him think he just needs to try harder. It’s time for a sit down talk with this guy to let him know that you’re really not interested in any kind of relationship beyond just friends. Period.

Safety Tip: When telling him that you’re not into him that way, make sure you’re in a public place during the day where there are other people around. Tell a friend where you’re going and when you expect to be back. Take your cell phone with you. DO NOT meet him at his house or yours, or anywhere at night. He may just be a sweet guy who is a little too intense, or he may wig out after being rejected face to face like that. Just make sure you’re being safe and that you’re not giving him the opportunity to harm you in any way.

Don’t Answer The “Why” Questions

When you have “the talk” with him, he may ask you why you don’t like him or what’s wrong with him. Don’t answer these questions! If you do, you’re giving him the opportunity to change what you think is wrong with him and then he’ll believe that once he’s “changed” that you’ll like him. This is not what you want to have happen. Let him know that these are your feelings and this is all about you. He is perfectly dateable material and there’s nothing wrong with him, but the romantic connection between you and him just isn’t there and you’re simply not moving beyond friends.

Do You Really Want To Be Friends?

If this guy is creeping you out, stop and think if you truly want to stay friends with him after you let him down. Did you have a good friendship with him before he asked you out? Were you close friends? If not, don’t try to tell him you want to stay friends just so he won’t get hurt. It’s okay to tell someone that you don’t want to date them or be friends. You deserve people in your life that enrich it, not take away from it or stress you out. If being friends with him afterwards isn’t something that you want either, it’s okay to tell him that.

Q&A: Sex Tip – How To Get Her To Be On Top

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 13:28:54 +0000

One of the most challenging things in the bedroom is finding new sex positions to be in that you and your partner both enjoy. If you are really into a certain sex position but your partner doesn’t seem to want to try it, here are some great ways to get her to be more interested in it so you both can enjoy fun and exciting sex!

Question: My girlfriend and I are happy and in love and everything is going great. We have sex almost everyday. It’s wonderful! But she doesn’t like to change up the sex position. She knows that I like when she’s on top because we talk about it and when we “talk dirty” via phone/text she always says she’s going to get on top of me, but when we get in bed, it seems like she doesn’t want to. Do you think she wants me to throw her around and put her on top of me and stuff? I’ve thought about trying that, but I don’t want to throw her into a situation she doesn’t want to be in.

–YouTube Viewer

Trying Other Positions

So maybe your partner doesn’t want to try being on top right now, but perhaps she’ll be interested in trying some other positions that give her a little more control without giving her all the control. If your partner is very shy, especially with sex, she may be apprehensive about having all the control when it comes to having sex. Some great sex positions to warm her up to being on top are the lotus position or the spoon position. In the lotus position, you and your partner are both sitting up, with her sitting on your lap facing you. This allows her to be “on top” but then again, so are you! In the spoon position, you will enter your partner from behind while you are both lying down as though you were spooning. Although you are in control here, she can actually control the depth and speed of your penetration.

Help Her Get On Top

Your partner may want you to take the initiative to get her on top. She may be too shy to get out of her missionary position comfort zone herself, but she may like it once she gets there. During sex, gently roll over so she ends up being on top for a few minutes. If she seems to really like it, stay there! If not, roll her back over so you’re on top again. You can increase the time she spends on top as you do this more often during sex, and eventually she will be on top for the majority of the time during sex! Another thing you can do is go down on her first and get her really, really turned on. She will be more receptive to new things when she’s losing control and in the throes of passion. Help her to relax before sex with a hot bath or a glass of wine, and if she’s in a more relaxed state of mind, she’ll be more receptive to your advances.

Encourage Her!

Let her know how much you like it when she’s on top. Encourage her when she is and let her know how great she is doing. Give her the right body language too, such as making noises during sex when she is pleasing you or grabbing her harder and holding her tighter. She may be afraid of being on top because she’s afraid she won’t please you! Just let her know how great she’s doing and how much you like it and she’ll be more inclined to do what really turns you on.

Q&A: Masturbation – How Can I Make Myself Squirt?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 14:00:22 +0000

Squirting is considered by many men and women to be the holy grail of female orgasms! Some people think it’s weird or gross, but others find it incredibly hot! If you’re ready to reach that next level with your orgasms, here are some things you can try so you can learn to squirt, both when you masturbate and during sex with a partner!

Question: I’ve now been trying to get to the ‘next level’ with myself, to female ejaculation. I have read and watched videos about it (inclusively on your website), but I just wanted to know if you had any tips or advice on how I can just let go. I get very excited when I masturbate and I’ve tried penetration and clitorial stimulation at the same time. When I come, it just won’t go that far, to female ejaculation. It sometimes leaves me feeling still just a little unsatisfied, even if I’d just had a mind blowing orgasm. Please give me your take on the subject!

–YouTube Viewer

Working With A Partner

If you’ve never squirted before, you may want to try doing it with a partner at first. It’s difficult to let go and completely surrender to the orgasm when you’re controlling your own pleasure. Allowing a partner to stimulate you to the point of orgasm lets you simply sit back and enjoy the ride! You’ll be able to concentrate more on the waves of pleasure you’re feeling, rather than concentrating on doing it harder or faster. Make sure you’re comfortable and with a partner that you’re comfortable with! Don’t try to squirt for the first time if you’re with someone who you’re not completely 1oo% comfortable with and honest with. If you’re with a new partner, wait until you have been with them sexually for some time. Chances are, you won’t be able to let go enough to have female ejaculation if you’re with a new partner anyways.

Manual Stimulation

The best way to acheive squirting for the first time is through manual stimulation. Whether you’re using a sex toy or your partner is using his hands, it is much more effective for squirting than oral sex or penile penetration. Even more effective at creating squirting is both clitoral and g-spot stimulation! This often will cause you to lose control more easily than through just one or the other. However, it is the g-spot orgasms that will cause you to squirt, so if you’re not at least stimulating the g-spot, you’re not going to achieve your goal. Rabbit vibrators are excellent for squirting orgasms, as they give both the g-spot and the clitoris intense stimulation and pleasure.

What Does It Feel Like?

When you’re ready to squirt, it may feel a little like you have to urinate. You may feel the need to “bear down” as though you’re delivering a baby, but that’s because all the muscles down there do everything. They are used when you urinate, have a baby, have sex, have a bowel movement, and have an orgasm. So it may feel like you’re getting ready to do all of those things! When you feel the need to bear down, go with the flow. Instead of fighting it, which many women do because they’re afraid of doing something embarrassing, ride it out. Give it your all. Allow yourself to totally go over the edge. You may not squirt the first time or even after dozens of times trying, but as you learn how your muscles act and react and practice letting go completely, you’ll eventually learn to squirt.

Q&A: How To Ask A Good Friend To Go On A Date

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:00:50 +0000

Often, friends end up falling for other friends and want to move from a friendship to a romantic relationship. If you want ask out one of your good friends but don’t want to end up ruining the friendship, you’re not alone. Here’s how to tell if she likes you too and what you can do to get out of the friend zone.

Question: How do you know if a girl likes you and if she does, how can you ask her out? I have a very close friend I would like to date, but I do not want to lose her as a friend. The reasons why I think she likes me is because she has told me how ugly she thinks she is and how she will never find love. We are very close and I do not want to lose her as friend. Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

Let Her Know How You Feel

Honesty is the best way to go on this one. Pretending that you don’t like her as more than a friend or saying that you just want to stay friends because you think that’s what she wants or you’re afraid of ruining the friendship isn’t going to do either of you any good at all. Tell your friend how you feel about her and be completely honest. Let her know why you like her and why you want to be more than friends. Don’t ask for a response right away, because putting her on the spot to accept your romantic invitation may lead to a “no” because she just needs time to absorb the information. Just let her know that you’re telling her how you feel and you simply wanted her to be aware of it. Let her take it from there if she wants to. If she doesn’t make a move, you can continue being friends.

How To Interpret Her Body Language

You may be wondering if your friend has been showing you romantic affection for awhile and you haven’t been picking it up. If a girl likes you, she’s going to give you a lot of body language that shows that she’s sweet on you. She may touch you often, face you when you speak or constantly laugh at your jokes. She may want to be close to you all the time or may want to hang out all the time. Pay close attention to your friend’s body language, because often you will be able to tell if a girl likes you simply because of the way she acts towards you.

Show Her Affection

If you like your friend romantically, it’s important that you show her affection as well as telling her the truth about how you feel. Show her with your body language that you like her. Hug her, be close to her and compliment her. Compliments always go a long way for a woman! Laugh at her jokes and be there for her. If you’re good to her, sooner or later she will see that you’re a great choice for her. But she’ll never choose you if she doesn’t know how you feel about her!

Q&A: Is It Normal To Get Random Erections During The Day?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 14:00:39 +0000

Getting unwanted unwanted erections during the day – especially when you’re not doing or thinking about anything sexual at all – can be a burden for many boys in their teenage years. What is normal when it comes to getting frequent erections and what can you do to stop it from happening?

Question: Dear Dan and Jennifer, I was wondering if it is normal to get random erections during the school day, and is there anything I can do to prevent it? Please help. Thanks, and I love your show.

–YouTube Viewer

The Role Teenage Hormones Play

Both teenage girls and boys have an abundance of hormones that are coursing through their body at any given time. The body is going through major changes during this stage and life and teenage hormones can cause lots of strange things to happen to the body. Almost all teenagers notice an increase in sweat, odor and acne, while teenage girls may notice their breasts becoming larger and will be starting their periods. Teenage boys, on the other hand, can experience erections at a variety of different times. Many boys experience “wet dreams” where the penis becomes hard and ejaculates during the night. Boys may also experience erections during the day, even when they’re not doing or thinking about anything sexual at all. This is completely normal and due to the increased hormones that boys experience during their teenage years.

Masturbation Can Reduce The Number Of Unwanted Erections

To reduce the amount of unwanted erections, masturbation can help. By masturbating, a young boy is releasing many of the hormones that are causing his erections in the first place and this will help keep the penis from becoming hard so often. Masturbate in the morning before school to try to prevent erections during the day, or try doing it in the evening. Masturbate at a variety of different times during the day to find out which time will reduce unwanted erections the most. Just be careful not to focus too much on masturbation. If you find that you’re always thinking about masturbation or planning your activities around your masturbation times too much, you may be addicted. Other than a serious masturbation addiction, masturbation is a normal and healthy way for teenage boys to relieve sexual tension and reduce unwanted erections.

Have Patience

Being a teenager is tough. There are so many awkward emotions and body functions that are involved during the teenage years for both boys and girls. It may seem like there’s no end in sight, but these problems won’t last forever. As you grow up, your body will produce less hormones and your emotions and body functions will level out. Don’t worry so much about it, because right now, everyone is going through the same things that you are. Everyone has issues during their teenage years, and lots of teenage boys experience unwanted erections and masturbate daily or almost daily. Avoid making fun of others for something that happens to you too! Have patience and know that this is a common, normal thing that happens to almost every teenage boy. Take comfort in the fact that you know it’s not going to last forever.

Q&A: Help! I Keep Getting Stuck In The Friend Zone

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 14:00:07 +0000

Getting stuck in the friend zone is no fun, especially if you really want more than just a friendship with someone. But are you really looking for a serious relationship, or is it a case of like attracting like? Here’s how to find out if you’re ready for a relationship or you really are getting stuck in the friend zone!

Question: This is my first question to you guys, and i just got wind saying that you guys know your stuff when it comes to relationships. I got out of a 5 year relationship with my fiance, and its been 3 months. I’m talking to women, and it seems like all women want now is casual sex, no commitment. I feel like I keep getting stuck in the “friend zone” and that’s all women look at me as. Any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

Are You Really Ready For Committment?

It’s a common belief that “like attracts like” and those looking for serious relationships will actually be attracted to each other. If you’ve just gotten out of a long, committed relationship, you may subconciously just be looking for friendships right now and not know it. If you’re only attracting women who simply want to be friends and have casual sex with no strings attached, take a moment to think about if that’s really what you want too. It’s okay if you’re not ready for a serious relationship and having fun with friends is a great way to get yourself back in the dating game. Sit down and really consider what you want at this time. Are you really looking for another committed relationship or are you attracting the kind of people you subconciously want to date right now?

Don’t Rush It

There’s no rush when it comes to dating after ending a serious relationship with someone. Even if you were the one who ended the relationship, the body, mind and soul still needs to grieve for the loss and take time to adjust to a new lifestyle. Things are very different for you now, and it’s important to give yourself time to absorb it. That doesn’t mean isolate yourself, but you may want to be careful about jumping right into another committed relationship. Give yourself time to think about the relationship, but also allow yourself to think about what you want now before you take the next step.

Attracting The Kind Of Partner You Want

When you’re really ready for a committed relationship, trust that you’ll start attracting people who feel the same way you do and are also looking for a committed relationship. Focus more on having fun now, and let whatever happens happen. Time has a funny way of healing old wounds and paving the way for new and better things in your life if you let it. Constantly trying to attract a partner who wants a serious relationship when you don’t – even subconciously – will only put more stress on you and make you feel like you’re not “dateable” material. Don’t worry about it! Just have fun and build new friendships and nurture old ones. Take this opportunity to make your life what you want it to be right now and in time, the right person will come.

Q&A: How Can I Get My Wife To Have Sex Every Day?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 30 May 2010 16:25:02 +0000

Having sex more often is a big issue among guys of every age, both married and unmarried. Many guys wish they were having sex more often with their wives, girlfriends or lovers and aren’t sure exactly how to make that happen. Here’s how you can get your wife to have sex with you every day – and get her to enjoy it.

Question: How can I get my wife to have sex every day?

–YouTube Viewer

Does Her Sex Drive Match Yours?

It’s not at all uncommon for two people to have mismatching sex drives and for one person in the relationship to want or need more sex than the other. Usually, this is not an issue but when you and your partner differ greatly on how often you want to have sex, it can pose a problem in the relationship. For example, if you want sex daily or every other day and your spouse or partner is content having sex weekly or even every couple of weeks, it’s easy to become frustrated with your partner. When starting a relationship with someone, it’s important to find out if you and your partner have at least somewhat similar sex drives because it’s all part of being sexually compatible and having a future of sexual satisfaction with your partner or spouse.

Make Sure She’s Enjoying It

If you want to make your partner want sex with you more often, the most important thing you can do is make sure you are pleasing your partner and she’s enjoying it. Often, the reason behind women not needing sex as often as a man does in a relationship is because she’s just not getting as much pleasure from it as you are. Focus on your partner’s pleasure and make sure she has enough time to relax and warm up. If your partner is stressed out or under a lot of pressure, she won’t be able to receive pleasure no matter how hard you try. Focus on giving her awesome orgasms, because if your partner or spouse consistently gets great orgasms every time you have sex with her, she’ll naturally start to want and crave sex with you more.

Female Orgasm Tips

Start brushing up on your knowledge about female orgasms by checking out some of the best female orgasm tips out there. Watch as many videos and read as many articles as you can to learn how to give your girlfriend or wife absolutely mind blowing orgasms. Learning some new techniques to use in the bedroom that your partner has never experienced before with you is well worth the time it takes to study up. Without something more to offer your partner in the bedrom, there’s no reason to expect her to have sex with you many more than she already does. Making sure you’re pleasing her and giving her great orgasms is your ticket to better sex and sex more often. In fact, when you start really giving her what she wants in the bedroom don’t be surprised if she starts initiating sex with you more often than you originally wanted to!

Q&A: How Is A Vibrator Different From A Dildo?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 29 May 2010 16:53:55 +0000

There are so many different sex toys on the market today that it can be difficult to not only tell the difference between them and what they can be used for, but also which one you’ll like the best. Is there a difference between a vibrator and a dildo, or are they actually the same thing? Here’s how you can tell.

Question: How is a vibrator different than a dildo? Some of my friends say it is the same thing.

–YouTube Viewer

What Is A Dildo?

Typically, a dildo is used for insertion only. The most common type of dildos are the ones that are molded to look like real penises, but any sex toy that is used for insertion in either the vagina or the anus is a considered a dildo. Dildos can come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors and textures and range from the very small and discreet to the very large and kinky. Anal dildos have a wide, flared base at the bottom to prevent the toy from going too far inside the anal cavity, and some dildos have attachments for both anal and vaginal insertion at the same time. There are double dildos for use by two people, or dildos with strap on attachments that can be worn hands free.

What Is A Vibrator?

Dildos can also be vibrators, but not all vibrators are considered dildos. Vibrating dildos are used for insertion, but other types of vibrators exist as well. Clitoral vibrators are among the most popular type of vibrators for women, and are made to simply be placed on the clitoris. These types of vibrators are typically small, but some of them can be quite large, especially wand vibrators that are also sold as back and shoulder massagers. Other vibrators include anal vibrators and vibrating beads, bullets and ben-wa balls. G-spot vibrators are also popular for women, as they’re made for insertion into the vagina but include a special curve that allows them to reach and stimulate the g-spot.

How To Choose The Best Toy For You

There are so many different sex toys to choose from, it is sometimes hard to figure out which one you’ll like best. First, decide whether you want a toy that vibrates or not. If you don’t want anything that vibrates, you’re going to be looking mostly at dildos and can simply decide which size and texture you’d like to try. If you do want some type of vibrating toy, decide whether you want one for clitoral stimulation, vaginal insertion or both. Many vibrators come with clitoral vibrating attachements, giving you both types of pleasure at once. If you’re looking for clitoral stimulation only, try a small vibrating bullet or even a strap-on vibrator that you can wear both during sex and under your clothes that can give you hands free vibration. If you’re looking for both clitoral vibration and vaginal vibration or simply vaginal vibration, look for a Rabbit vibrator or a slim and sleek, easy to use vibrator. You may want to have more than one sex toy in your dresser drawer, because you may be in the mood for something a little different now and then!

Q&A: Losing My Erection – Am I Gay?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 25 May 2010 14:00:47 +0000

Losing your erection can be frightening, especially if you’re not sure why. There are lots of reasons that men lose their erections, whether they’re young, old, gay or straight. If you find yourself unexpectedly losing your erection, you’re probably wondering what it’s all about – and how to fix it. Here’s what to do when you start going soft.

Question: I have a problem with sex. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 months now. We’ve had sex for couple times. If we make out I get an erection, but if i want to have sex with her, my erection just goes away. If I masturbate with my friends together, I will get a really hard and long-lasting erection. Do you think I am gay?

–YouTube Viewer

Pressure To Perform

Very few men are able to get it on when they’re under intense pressure to perform. If you’re in a new relationship and you feel like your partner is really scrutinizing your every move and sizing you up (literally and figuratively) you’ll probably be a bit nervous when it’s time for the lights to go out. It is not at all uncommon for this type of sexual pressure to cause men to lose their erection or to make it difficult to achieve an erection at all.

What Do You Fantasize About?

If you’re wondering if losing your erection around a woman makes you gay, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. Going soft when you’re with a woman doesn’t make you gay and it’s not at all an indicator of whether you might be gay or bisexual at all. What you fantasize about when you’re masturbating or having sex is the best way to tell if you’re truly gay or not. If you’re with a woman and wish you were with a man or fantasize about having sex with a man, you might be gay or bisexual. Otherwise, don’t stress if you’re just having some erection issues. It doesn’t have anything to do with your sexual orientation.

Sexual Comfort

Many men experience erectile problems when they’re not in their comfort zone. If you’re with a new partner and in a new relationship, you’re not going to be as comfortable sexually than if you’re with your friends or with someone you’ve been with before and are comfortable with. Even if you’re masturbating with your friends and your friends are guys, it doesn’t mean you’re gay if you consistently achieve a long lasting erection when you’re with them. It may be solely that you’re in a comfortable situation where you’re not feeling pressured to perform and you can relax enough to focus on your own pleasure. Try getting to know your partner outside of sex. Get to know them as a person and as a friend. When you do have sex with your partner, find a place that is comfortable for you, such as your home or your bed. Going to her home or even having sex in the car may make you uncomfortable enough to lose your erection. Give your relationship time. You may find that your problem resolves itself when you get to know your partner and your relationship becomes more solid.

Q&A: Masturbation – Why Is It Taking So Long To Reach Orgasm?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 24 May 2010 14:00:16 +0000

Reaching orgasm through masturbation is often easier for both men and women than it is reaching orgasm through intercourse or oral sex. That said, when it takes longer than usual to reach climax through masturbation, you may wonder if something is wrong with you. Here’s what to do if all of a sudden you notice it’s taking you significantly longer to get off when going solo.

Question: I am 15 and I masturbate often and only a week ago it on average took about 20 minutes to reach orgasm. All of a sudden starting the other night, it takes me approximately 1.5 – 2.5 hours, I didn’t change anything about the way I go about masturbating, so I am really confused as to this sudden jump, is this normal?

–YouTube Viewer

Changes In Your Life That Can Affect Masturbation

You may not have changed the way you masturbate at all, but other changes in your life can impact your ability to reach orgasm with masturbation and through intercourse and oral sex. Are you losing sleep or are you physically ill with a cold or perhaps the flu? Have you been super stressed out about something recently, such as a big test, moving or breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend? A lot of major life changes can affect how quickly you are able to reach orgasm, if at all. Fortunately, with most life situations, they are temporary and you will probably be able to get back to your normal masturbation routine once the stressor disappears.

Reaching Orgasm

Reaching orgasm, for both men and women, requires you to be calm, relaxed and have a clear mind. If you’re busy thinking about something that happened during the day or aren’t totally focused on the pleasure you’re giving yourself, it may take quite a bit longer for you to climax, or you may be unable to orgasm. This is especially true for women, but it can happen to men as well. If you’re not currently using visual stimulation during masturbation, give it a try. A picture, magazine or video may be all you need to distract your mind from day to day junk and instead allow you to focus on the task at hand – no pun intended.

Seeing Your Doctor

If you truly suspect something is wrong with your ability to reach orgasm through masturbation, and you can’t find any reason why masturbating is taking unusually longer than it has in the past, go see your doctor. You don’t have to be afraid to talk to your doctor about sex or masturbation, because your doctor knows all about it. They’ve seen and heard everything! If you’re not comfortable with your current doctor, don’t hesitate to find a doctor you are comfortable with. Talk to your doctor about what is going on and how it is a problem in your life. Your doctor can help find the causes of your inability to reach orgasm quickly through masturbation and find out if there is a true medical reason behind it or not. It never hurts to get an opinion from your doctor when you’re having an issue with your health – sexual or otherwise.

Q&A: Dating A Younger Man – Is It OK?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 23 May 2010 18:31:21 +0000

A lot of peole have questions about age differences when dating. Is it ok to date a younger man or a younger woman? It depends. Sometimes age differences are a big deal and sometimes they’re not. Here’s how to know if the age difference between you and your beau is a big deal, and what you should do if it is.

Question: I’m 17 and have recently developed a crush on someone younger than me. He’s about 15. It sounds really bad when I think about it but he doesn’t look 14 or 15 at all. It’s not a serious crush but I like him enough to want to talk to him. He seems to act like he likes me, but I don’t really know if he does. Is it okay to date him even if he’s that young?

–YouTube Viewer

When Age Doesn’t Matter

When you and your partner are older, a large gap in age generally doesn’t matter. If you’re 65 and he’s 75, it’s not as big a deal than if you have a 10 year age gap with your partner when you’re younger. Smaller age gaps matter even less as you and your partner grow older. Age gaps when you are younger, however, matter a great deal not only because of legal issues but also because you and your partner are very different emotionally and mentally. Even a two year age difference in your teens can make a big difference in emotional maturity between you and your partner.

When Age Does Matter

Age differences matter a lot when you and your partner are young. For example, if your partner is 15 and you are 20 or even 25, age gaps are a big issue. Even small age gaps, such as your partner being 15 and you being 17 can be a problem. First, think about the legal issues that come up when you date a younger person, especially if you’re bordering on 17 or 18. The laws differ from state to state, but dating a younger person could get you slapped with a statutory rape charge even if you and your partner are only a year or two apart.

Dating Without Sex

If you really want to date someone younger than you, or if you’re the younger of the couple, you can still date – without sex. To avoid getting into trouble, simply focus on getting to know your partner. Go on group dates to the bowling alley or to the movies, or go out to dinner together. Talk about your favorite things, things that mean a lot to you and encourage your partner to do the same. Really get to know each other to find out if you really want to take this relationship to the next level when you and your partner are old enough to legally be intimate with each other. Remember that there are more ways to be close to someone than through sex. Hold hands, hug and cuddle with each other without having sex. Nowadays, even sexting and sending naked pictures of yourself to your partner’s phone can get you into trouble if your partner is under 18, so be extremely careful. Practice patience until legally, you’re both ready.

Q&A: How To Cope With A Long Distance Relationship

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 22 May 2010 18:19:43 +0000

Long distance relationships are on of the hardest things to handle when you find someone you’re really into. If they’re moving away or you are, or if they’re in the military, facing being away from your partner for an extended period of time is nerve wracking. How can you make the most of your long distance relationship?

Question: Dan and Jen, I really need your help! I’ve found the most amazing guy, and we are currently in a serious relationship. The problem is that he’s in the Navy, and will be shipped out in only a month and a half! He keeps assuring me that he’ll never let me go, but it frightens me we might ‘slip apart’. Do you know how I can cope with him leaving?

–YouTube Viewer

Stay In Contact Any Way You Can

In this day in age, it’s easier than ever to keep in contact with someone over long distances. Cell phones with text, picture and video capabilities will help you feel connected to your partner when you’re away from him physically. Send him a picture of you at the movies that says “wish you were here” or “thinking of you.” Videotape important moments and send them to him. You can also use video chat and instant messaging on your computer to have longer conversations that can even seem like you’re together in the same room. You can also use cell phones, text and video chat to keep each other as sexually satisfied as possible with racy emails or dirty sexts.

Communicate With Each Other

Being completely open and honest with each other at all times during the long distance relationship is absolutely essential to keeping the relationship stable. Often, keeping things from your partner or even telling little white lies can snowball and create a big rift between you and your partner. Tell your partner how you’re feeling and encourage him to do the same. Talk about how you’re going to handle it when the need for physical contact arises and you two aren’t together. Talk about how you can make the situation temporary and make plans in the long term to eventually be together in the same place.

See Him As Often As Possible

One of the biggest reasons that a long distance relationship don’t work out is that it can be difficult for one or both partners to make plans to see each other in person very often. Take some time to try to work out how often you and your partner can feasibly travel to see each other and try to make plans to do so as much as you can. Physical contact – with or without sex – is an important part of keeping the flame alive in your relationship. If you and your partner don’t make the effort to see each other over several months, it makes it easier for you and your partner to start drifting apart. With time, effort and honest communication, you and your partner can make the long distance relationship work until you can have a real relationship with each other.

Q&A: What’s The Best Sex Position For First Time Sex?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 22 May 2010 00:09:14 +0000

The best sex positions are often a matter of personal preference, but is it normal to be concerned about what position to use if both partners are having sex for the first time? Yes, but choosing the best sex position for first time sex isn’t difficult at all. Here’s how you can relax, find the position that works for you and your partner and have fun!

Question: What’s the best position the man should be in if they are both having sex for the first time?

–YouTube Viewer

Missionary Position

It may be cliché, but it’s a classic. The missionary position is considered the most natural, easiest position to get into. With the man on top, he can be in control of the thrusting and the woman can be in control of the angle of her pelvis to help prevent his penis from going in too deep and causing discomfort for the first time. Typically, most people use the missionary position when having sex for the first time, simply because it’s a position that is comfortable for just about everyone. You can go slow or fast with the missionary position, or start slow and build up speed as you and your partner get closer to orgasm.

Other Positions

While there are hundreds of other sex positions you can choose from for your first time having sex, it may not be the best idea. Sex positions like doggy style or woman on top will allow your penis to penetrate her vagina too deeply at first, causing extreme discomfort and pain for her. As you and your partner continue to have sex and her vagina becomes accommodated to your penis, she will be able to relax more and start to feel more comfortable with other sex positions. Some positions, however, aren’t focused so much on deep penetration, such as spooning. Talk to your partner about sex positions that she might be interested in for her first time, and ask her to be honest about her concerns. Is she afraid that some sex positions will hurt, or is she more interested in trying an advanced sex position? There’s nothing wrong with using any sex position you want to for your first time, as long as you and your partner are both comfortable with it and it feels good.

Remember To Have Fun

Great sex isn’t about the perfect position. You certainly don’t have to pick the “best” sex position to have fun, and you don’t have to have the best sex position to make your first time sex special. Relax a little and remember to have fun. Sometimes, things don’t go perfectly the first time and that’s okay. Your first time, as well as hers, will be special no matter what if you have a good attitude about it and aren’t stressed about having a flawless first time. If you try a certain position and it’s not working out for either your or your partner, don’t be afraid to try something else or get creative. There’s no certain way your first time has to be. Just make sure you and your partner are having a good time!

Q&A: I Feel Guilty Being Naked. Please Help!

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 20 May 2010 01:01:05 +0000

Sexual guilt comes in many forms. Some people feel guilty about having sex if they’re not married, and others feel guilty about being naked with their partners after sex. Being naked is natural, and something beautiful you can share with your partner and only with your partner. Here’s how you can get over your post-nookie nervousness.

Question: I’m in a relationship with a boy that I’m completely crazy about. We were both each other’s first and our sex life is great. What I do have a problem with is post-sex guilt about him seeing me naked. I know that he thinks I’m beautiful and loves me, and we’re both having fun while we’re having sex, but I can’t help but feel guilty afterwards because no one else has ever seen me completely naked before. Can you give me some advice? Thanks (and I love your videos).

–YouTube Viewer

You’re Perfect The Way You Are

No two people are created alike. Everyone is created differently, with different features and body types. Everyone is perfect and special just the way they are because there is absolutely no one that is exactly like them. Unfortunately, when it comes to being comfortable with your own body, saying is easier than believing. Many people are afraid of being naked and feel that they aren’t good enough, beautiful enough or thin enough. They are constantly comparing themselves to models and celebrities, because unfortunately society suggests that this is what is considered “beautiful.” You may not look like a celebrity or model, but you’re absolutely beautiful because you’re you.

Religious And Moral Suppression

Many religions shun nudity, or believe that being naked is “dirty.” Even though nudity with your partner is obviously allowed after marriage, a person may still carry guilt about being naked from when they were younger. Many parents will yell and get upset if their children see them naked or happen to walk in on them having sex. Many parents don’t teach their children about the beauty of the naked body or won’t allow their children and teens to view nudity at all in any form, and end up teaching their child that being naked is something that is shameful. This will often affect a relationship negatively, because it’s difficult to truly get close to your partner when you’ve been subjected to that kind of sexual repression.

Learn To Be Comfortable With Yourself

It’s time to learn to be comfortable with your own body and learn to love yourself and feel beautiful in your own skin every day. Practice standing in the mirror naked every day and find something about your body that you really like. Even if it’s something small, such as the color of your skin in the sunlight or the shape of your breasts. Find something different to like every day. You can also start a gratitude journal, where every day you write five things you love about your body. You can also write about why it’s okay to be naked, or what you like about being naked. Try spending time with your partner in the nude without having sex, such as watching a movie naked or just lying next to each other and talking without your clothes on. All of these activities will help you to become more comfortable with your own body and being naked.

Q&A: How Can I Make My Girlfriend Want To Kiss Me?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 19 May 2010 01:07:43 +0000

Your first kiss in a new relationship is an important milestone, whether you’ve had dozens of kisses before or have never kissed anyone at all. If you’re going for your first kiss in a new relationship, rushing your partner into it before she wants to can actually backfire on you. Here’s what to do if you’re ready – and she’s not.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn, I recently got a girlfriend and I really want to kiss her, but she says she doesn’t want to kiss because this is her first relationship and she doesn’t want to kiss until we are older. But I REALLY like her and I was wondering what I can do to make her want to kiss?

–YouTube Viewer

Respect Her Boundaries

Whenever someone says “no” to something, you absolutely have to respect that. Regardless of whether they’re a guy or a girl or what stage your relationship is in, you simply can’t ignore someone if they’re telling you they’re uncomfortable doing something that you want them to do. This applies to kissing, as well as sex. If your partner isn’t ready to kiss you yet, you can’t try to push her past her boundaries. Instead, learn to respect these boundaries because if you were the one who wasn’t comfortable with something, you wouldn’t want her to pressure you about it.

Practice Patience

In any situation where your partner lets you know that they’re not ready to do something or aren’t comfortable with something, it’s important that you learn to practice patience. Having patience when your partner says “no” isn’t always easy, especially if she says “no” to something you want very badly, but it’s the right thing to do. Even if you’re convinced that kissing her will take your relationship to a new and exciting level and she’ll really like it once she tries it, if she’s not ready that’s it. It’s over. Try to fill your time with your partner with other fun things, like playing baseball together or hanging out with friends. If you find yourself tempted to kiss your partner often, plan things to do with her that don’t create quiet, awkward moments alone together. Avoid going to the movies where other people are making out and try to stay busy doing fun activities together so you don’t think so much about kissing her and instead you’re focusing on just being with her and having fun with her.

Could It Harm Your Relationship?

Pressuring your partner to kiss you before she is ready can actually do harm to your relationship. At first she will be annoyed, and then she will become frustrated with you and come to resent you for not respecting her wants and needs. Trying to talk her into doing something she’s made clear she’s uncomfortable with doesn’t win you any brownie points. Even if she gives in and gives you what you want in the end, chances are she’ll remember the hurt for a long time. This definitely has the potential to damage your relationship, so if you value what you have with your partner at all, you won’t pressure her to do something she’s just not ready for.

Q&A: What Does Sperm Taste Like?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 17 May 2010 14:00:09 +0000

When giving a blowjob, you know eventually the inevitable will happen. Your man will have an orgasm and you’ll have semen in your mouth. Many people are weirded out by the idea of sperm in their mouth, especially if they’ve heard horror stories from their girlfriends. So what does sperm really taste like, and is it harmful to swallow it?

Question: What does sperm taste like? Is it okay to swallow it? If so, can it do any harm?

–YouTube Viewer

What Affects The Taste Of Sperm

Not all sperm is equal. Every man’s semen tastes different and it may even have a different texture or an aftertaste too. There are a great deal of things that affect the flavor of a man’s ejaculate, from what they eat to how healthy they are. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs or taking prescription medications are often said to give semen a bad, bitter taste, while the semen of healthy men is said to taste cleaner. Just think about it this way – whatever you put into your body is coming out, via sweat, urine and yes, semen. Eating fresh fruits and vegetables is a great way to improve the taste of your semen, and many people report that pineapples and pineapple juice can make ejaculate taste exceptionally sweet.

What Do You Like?

Not only does every man’s semen taste different from each other, each woman has her own flavor preferences as well. Some women can’t stand the texture of semen, regardless of the taste while other women love the taste of semen and can’t seem to get enough of it. You may have preferred the taste of an ex-boyfriend’s semen while your current beau’s just doesn’t do it for you or vice versa. One woman may report that one man’s semen tastes good, while another women can report that the same man’s semen is very bitter and has a bad taste to it. It’s difficult to give semen a solid thumbs up or thumbs down as far as taste is concerned, because there are so many different variables to consider. It’s perfectly normal to want him to finish in your mouth or to dislike it, or even to like one man’s semen but not another’s. You just like what you like!

It’s Ok To Swallow

Swallowing semen is not harmful in and of itself, provided something extraordinary doesn’t happen such as choking on it, etc. Some people even report that semen is good for you, as it contains a great deal of protein. The taste of semen and whether to spit or swallow is a personal choice, because neither will have any harmful side effects. Never do something that makes you uncomfortable, regardless of how much your partner wants it, and if you don’t want to swallow that’s all there is to it. Just don’t. If swallowing is something that turns you on and it’s something you enjoy doing, go for it! Just remember that semen can and will carry sexually transmitted diseases if a person is infected, which can easily spread to you if you swallow the ejaculate. If you really want to swallow, make sure you’re being safe and your partner has passed an STD test first.

Q&A: It’s My First Time With Another Female

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 16 May 2010 15:30:21 +0000

First time sex with a new partner is always nerve wracking. You don’t know what they like, they don’t know what you like and being nervous is just the icing on the cake. It can be especially nerve wracking if you’re having sex with another person of the same sex for the first time! Here’s how you can handle it and end up having a great time.

Question: Hey you two, my question would be me and my fiancé (who is also female) plans to come visit me in a few months and were planning on you know, doing adult things. Neither one of us has ever been with another female, so both of us are a little nervous about it. How do you get past the first time jitters?

–YouTube Viewer

Build An Intimate Bond

While you may be really nervous about having sex with your partner for the first time, take some time to focus on building an intimate bond when you first meet your partner. Go out to dinner, have a few glasses of wine and talk, just getting to know each other. Share stories with each other and allow yourself to get comfortable with your partner and vice versa. When you take the conversation home, play a fun sex game like 20 questions or Truth or Dare. Loosen up with your partner and allow yourself to laugh and have a good time before focusing so much on “doing it.” These kinds of sexy games are great at putting you and your partner at ease while setting the mood for a sexy evening with each other.

Remember To Have Fun

A lot of people in this situation end up taking themselves too seriously at first and that can make it even more awkward than it already is. Remember to have fun and relax, and let whatever happens happen. Take it slow, and don’t worry about putting pressure on your partner or yourself to perform. It’s not about getting it right or getting it perfect. Enjoy yourself with your partner and focus on having a good time, even if there are a few bumps along the way. Even if you don’t end up having sex right away or even the first night together, it’s ok. You’re in it for the long haul, so it’s ok to take your time and allow yourself to become comfortable with your partner and comfortable with the situation.

How To Please Another Woman

Learning how to please another woman isn’t difficult, it’s just intimidating. You already have a leg up on the competition, so to speak, because you’re a woman and you know how you like to be touched. Chances are, your partner will like something very similar. If you’re still not sure about how to please another woman, gather some resources on female orgasm and take the orgasm quiz. Read up on how exactly to please your partner move for move. Learning the specific techniques you can use in the bedroom with your partner will give you more confidence when the time comes.

Q&A: How Can I Control My Excessive Masturbation Habit?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 15 May 2010 14:40:38 +0000

Masturbation is normal for both men and women, as well as teens and young adults. It’s a healthy part of any sex life! But how often can you masturbate without it being “too much?” How do you know if you’re masturbating is getting excessive? Here’s how to control your masturbation if you find that getting off starts taking over your life.

Question: I am 17 years old and i think i am masturbating too much, like 3 times a day – 18 times a week or less! Please help me, how can I control myself?

–YouTube Viewer

Is The Indicator Of A Masturbation Addiction Really Frequency?

Many people are under the assumption that the real indicator of a masturbation addiction is how often you masturbate, but there are many people who masturbate several times per day or more and don’t have an addiction to it at all. So what is the real indicator of a masturbation addiction? Start digging deeper and asking yourself some important questions. Do you find that masturbation is taking over your life? Do you masturbate instead of doing other things that you enjoy doing, or do you masturbate instead of taking care of your responsibilities to yourself and others? The true indicator of a sex addiction is not how often you do it, but how it is affecting the other aspects of your life and the lives of those around you.

Why Do You Masturbate So Often?

Saying that you masturbate often only because it feels good or because you’re bored probably isn’t the real reason you are masturbating a lot. There are often emotional reasons behind frequent masturbation, such as being lonely or stressed, or having ended a relationship that was important to you. Daily masturbation makes a very effective escape mechanism, but it can quickly become addicting as you look to escape your problems more and more often. Think about what is going on in your life emotionally that may be causing you to masturbate excessively. Finding the actual root of the problem is one of the first steps to breaking the bad habit.

Breaking The Habit

If masturbation begins taking over your life and you fear you may have a very real sex addiction, it’s time to break the habit. Try using the “rubber band trick,” which involves wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it when you begin to think of masturbating and then immediately thinking of something else. If you find that you masturbate at certain times during the day, try making plans to do other things during that time of the day instead. It won’t be easy, and it will take some real effort on your part. But it’s not impossible. If you’ve tried breaking the masturbation addiction on your own, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a qualified therapist or counselor with whom you feel comfortable with. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s actually the opposite. It takes a lot of strength to admit you have a problem, but it’s one of the first steps to real recovery.

Q&A: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want Oral Sex

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 14 May 2010 11:20:49 +0000

Oral sex is one of the greatest sexual gifts that someone can give another person because you’re focusing only on their pleasure and theirs alone. Many people enjoy the feeling oral sex more than penetration and intercourse, but what do you do if your partner doesn’t want to give or receive oral sex?

Question: My girlfriend & I are extremely happy with each other, but she is extremely against oral sex, she refuses to give me blow jobs and “doesn’t need” me to give her oral pleasure. Is there a way to make this work, because I’ve never had oral sex given to me or vise-versa. She said she would maybe possibly consider it while she is drunk, but that is honestly worthless to me because I want it to mean something.

–YouTube Viewer

Oral Sex And Hygiene

Many people who have issues with oral sex don’t necessarily have issues with performing oral sex itself, but rather, they have issues with hygiene. They may have had a bad experience before where they performed oral sex on someone and didn’t like the way it tasted or smelled. Fortunately, hygiene issues are fixable. Make sure that you are always clean and showered, use deodorant and cologne if she likes it. Keep your genital area clean and trimmed, and if you’re uncircumcised, make sure you clean underneath the foreskin. Encourage her to lick or kiss around your thighs and tummy. When she gets close enough, she’ll know that you’re clean and fresh and may feel more comfortable with oral sex.

Getting Comfortable With Oral Sex

For a woman, being on the receiving end of cunnilingus can be emotionally uncomfortable. Essentially, she has to open herself up physically and emotionally to you, allowing you to be face to face with her most intimate and sensitive parts. This is enough to make any woman uncomfortable and it may be the reason she wants to get drunk first. If you want to perform oral sex on your partner, the first thing you need to do is get her relaxed. Draw her a hot bath, give her a massage and kiss and lick in that general area to see how she responds. Go slow and don’t rush her.

Communicate With Your Partner

An aversion to oral sex isn’t always what it seems on the surface. She may have some deep rooted issues about oral sex that makes her feel the way she does about it, such as abuse. These emotional roots may go deeper than either you or her expect, and she may not even remember why she started not liking oral sex to begin with. Communicate with her and talk about why she doesn’t feel comfortable with getting or giving oral sex. Just listen to her, and find out where her boundaries are. Don’t criticise her, and allow her to open up and feel that you are there for her. This in and of itself may be what it takes to get her to feel like you are trustworthy enough to experience oral sex with! Just remember never to push her or make her do something she doesn’t want to do.

Q&A: Tips For Talking Dirty – With Examples

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 13 May 2010 00:03:06 +0000

Talking dirty is a great way to spice up your sex life with your partner. However, many people are uncomfortable with talking dirty, are embarassed about it or aren’t sure what to say. How can you do dirty talk without sounding ridiculous? Here’s how to talk dirty in the bedroom with your partner, with some sexy examples!

Question: Hi Dan and Jenn, do you have any tips for dirty talk? My boyfriend is really into it, but I have no idea what I’m supposed to say without sounding like a washed-up porn star. Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

Talking Dirty Got A Bad Rap

Talking dirty isn’t “dirty.” Actually, it can be quite sexy and a lot of people enjoy talking during sex. Talking dirty in the bedroom got a bad rap because back in the day, it wasn’t considered “polite” or “proper” to talk that way during relations. Fortunately, society has come a long way sexually since those days but the fact that sexy talk is considered “taboo” in the bedroom is half the fun! If your partner wants to hear you talk dirty to him during sex, it’s time to learn how.

Ways To Talk Dirty

There are lots of ways to talk sexy to your partner, and not all of it has to be during the actual act of sex. You can talk sexy to your partner over the phone, or via text, called sexting. Send him a racy email to find at a random time, or leave a hot note by the coffee that he can find before he goes to work (which will get him hot for you all day!) These are also great ways to “break the ice” when it comes to dirty talk, because it’s a lot easier to send a dirty text at first than to jump right in to talking dirty during sex.

Get Comfortable With Talking Dirty

Remember that when talking dirty, your partner is going to appreciate the effort. Even if you don’t sound super sexy at first because you’re still getting comfortable with it, he’ll be glad you tried. Try practicing talking dirty to yourself in the mirror at first, because if you can’t talk sexy to yourself in the mirror, how are you going to do it to him? If you’re unsure of what to say in the bedroom, start by talking about what feels good, why it feels good or describing how it feels. Get some ideas from an erotic book. Yes, some of them are cheesy but there are a lot of good, realistic erotic novels that can give you an idea of exactly what to say. When you feel more comfortable with the idea of talking dirty in the bedroom, take a little time to find out exactly what gets your partner off. What are his fantasies when it comes to dirty talk? Does he like it a certain way? Don’t be afraid to ask him questions or use a “fantasy box.” Your efforts will be much more effective if you’re talking dirty right up his alley.

Q&A: Relationship Trouble – Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:00:53 +0000

Relationship problems can come in a variety of forms, and they differ greatly from relationship to relationship. Some relationship troubles can be worked out, but other, more serious issues can pave the way to a breakup. How do you know if your relationship problems can be fixed or if you just need to walk away?

Question: Hi Dan and Jenn. I need help with my relationship. I have a big problem with my boyfriend. We’ve been together over a year now and the problem we have is getting worse. I’ve told him how I feel and how much what he does hurts me and makes me feel insignificant, and when he says he’ll stop it, he does it again and again. The three main problems are:
1. He doesn’t talk or text for long periods of time because he’s too busy playing computer games.
2. He regularly shouts over top of me or interrupts me when I’m speaking, whether it’s a serious situation or not. I can be crying my eyes out talking to him and he will still do it.
3. Finally, he sometimes shouts at me, and not just raising his voice, he really shouts loudly, my parents worry about it and ask if I’m okay, and it honestly does frighten me sometimes.

–YouTube Viewer

He Won’t Change

If you’ve talked to your partner about the behavior that bothers you, especially if you’ve mentioned it more than once and communicated to him clearly how you feel, and he refuses to change, it’s time to consider the fact that he probably won’t ever change. You can’t force someone to change their behavior, you can only talk to them about how it affects you and hope that they see how much better the relationship can be if they change their ways. If he won’t change, the only thing you can do is change yourself. You can change how you react to his behavior, but stop and think before you do. Do you want to be ignoring his behavior forever?

Respect Yourself

An abusive relationship isn’t always one where one partner physically hits another. A lot of abuse is verbal and emotional. If you stay in an abusive relationship – no matter what kind of abuse you’re living with – you’re doing yourself a disservice and disrespecting yourself. Many times, if your partner can’t or won’t change his ways, you’ve got to take a stand for yourself. If he won’t respect you, you have to respect you – or who will? Don’t rely on other people to treat you with respect. Treat yourself with respect and don’t stand for any kind of abuse, be it physical, sexual or verbal and emotional.

You Deserve A Happy Relationship

No matter what you think or what your partner may tell you, you absolutely deserve a relationship that makes you happy. If you aren’t happy with who you’re with now, it’s time to find someone you are happy with. Life is too short and your time is too precious to spend it being unhappy with someone who refuses to respect you and be respectful to you. While no man can “make” you happy, you don’t have to be miserable with someone who treats you poorly. If your current relationship isn’t giving you what you want, it’s time to walk away. Take some time and think about what you do want in a relationship and start looking for that.

Q&A: Does Masturbation Reduce Penis Sensitivity?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 10 May 2010 14:00:03 +0000

As you get older, your body changes and mature in a variety of ways which sometimes can be a surprise. As you age, your sexual organs and libido change as well, and you might find yourself wanting more or less sex or finding that masturbation feels different than when you were younger. Other factors change genital sensitivity as well, such as medication or frequency of masturbation.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn, I’ve been masturbating since I was 9 and since I turned 18, the the sensitivity of my penis started to change and now its takes me longer to reach orgasm. I wanted to know does masturbation reduce the sensitivity of the penis or is that the intensity of orgasm changes overtime as you get older?

–YouTube Viewer

Hormonal Changes

When you hit puberty, your hormones go into overdrive and you may find that your penis is extremely sensitive and can be aroused by even the smallest trigger. As you age, your body stops producing so many hormones and you’ll find that your penis isn’t as sensitive as it was when you were going through puberty. Although this sounds like it’s a bad thing (after all, who doesn’t want a sensitive penis) it’s actually a good thing. Did you really want to be getting erections at the wrong time throughout your life, or even suffering from premature ejaculation? The reduction of penis sensitivity as you get older is preparing you for a healthy and happy sex life in the future.

Frequency Of Masturbation

How often you masturbate plays a big part in how sensitive your penis is. If you masturbate only once a week or even less, you’ll find that your penis is more sensitive to other triggers. However, if you masturbate daily or even a few times a day, your penis isn’t going to respond to every little thing that touches it. This can actually be used to your advantage. If you want a more sensitive penis, masturbate less. Frequent masturbation helps prevent getting erections at the wrong time, and can be used before a first date or other event.

Other Factors That Change Penis Sensitivity

Other things that can change your penis sensitivity and sexual desire are prescription medications, illegal drugs and alcohol. These things can change your penis sensitivity very drastically, even to the point of making it difficult to get an erection or causing you to lose your erection when masturbating. It is not at all uncommon for prescription medications to change genital sensitivity and libido a great deal and if you suspect that your medications are to blame for a less sensitive penis or a reduced sex drive, talk to your doctor about it and find out if you can make a medication switch. Penis sensitivity can also change between intercourse and masturbation, or how long it’s been since you’ve had sex or masturbated. If you find that your penis is becoming drastically less sensitive and it is causing you to have problems in your sex life or with your partner, visit your doctor to rule out any medical causes.

Q&A: Online Dating – Can You Fall In Love Without Meeting?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 09 May 2010 14:00:04 +0000

There are a lot of questions when it comes to online dating, but very few answers as online dating is still new, uncharted territory for many people. Can you fall in love online, or do you need to meet them first? How can you stay safe if you do end up meeting them in person? Here’s what you need to know about love and online dating.

Question: Hi Dan & Jenn, I have an online dating question. I signed up for a dating website last week and a man, two years older than me from California e-mailed me a day later. We’ve been e-mailing each other constantly and texting/talking ever since, and he’s just told me that he wishes to be with me until he grows old- he even mentioned flying me to California whenever I wish to visit. The problem is, is it possible for a man who’s never officially met me to develop such strong feelings for me so quickly? I’m honestly really baffled by this.

–YouTube Viewer

Possible But Not Probable

While theoretically it is possible to fall in love online without having met them first, but it’s definitely not probable. There are too many unknowns when it comes to a relationship with someone online to really say for sure if you love them or if they love you. You may really like them and even have strong feelings for them (or vice versa) but is it really love? If someone tells you they love you before you even meet them, take it with a grain of salt. Often, people are unable to accurately express strong feelings for someone and may just be using the word “love” because they don’t have any other way of explaining how they feel.

In Love With The Idea Of You

When using online dating sites, there are lots of things you and your partner don’t know about each other and it’s difficult to say you love someone without knowing these things. For example, your partner may know what your favorite color is and what you like to eat for dinner, but he doesn’t know how you smell or how your hand fits in his. He’s unaware of your mannerisms, how you move and how a hug or kiss from you feels. These are all essential components of a relationship that can’t be obtained over the Internet. Generally, when someone says they love you when they haven’t met you in person it means that they are in love with the “idea” of you. Their imagination has filled in all the blank spots, and naturally they are in love with that person. But that’s not the real you! The way you kiss or hold his hand may be completely different than the way he’s imagined it.

What To Do If You Do Meet

If you do decide to meet in person, it’s important to consider online dating safety first until you’ve met a few times and have gotten to know each other. Meet him in a public place during the day for a short amount of time. A half hour coffee is probably enough to get your feet wet and allow both of you to decide if you want to meet again. At first, pay your own way so you aren’t indebted to him in any way, and make sure a trusted friend knows where you are and when you plan to be back. Take it slow and get to know them before being alone with them.

Q&A: I Love Being On Top But He Loses His Erection!

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 08 May 2010 14:00:28 +0000

Erectile problems come in lots of different forms. Some men have erectile issues all the time, while others only have erectile issues with condoms, in certain positions, or if they’re not in control of the sexual situation. Here’s what you can do if your man has erectile difficulty in a position that you absolutely love.

Question: Dear Dan and Jen – When me and my boyfriend have sex, I just LOVE going on top. The problem is, his penis softens the minute I’m on top of him, just in a split second.When I asked about it, he said it’s because of the condom, but this doesn’t seem to be a problem in any other position. WHY is this? Aren’t men supposed to love it when the girl is on top? I’m confused – please help!

–YouTube Viewer

Everyone Likes Different Positions

If you find that your partner loses his erection in a certain position, he may just not like that position. It may be uncomfortable for him, or he may find it more difficult to be aroused. Some men really enjoy the feeling of being in control that man-on-top positions offer, and he might not be able to maintain his erection in situations where he feels like the woman is in control, such as in woman-on-top positions. Everyone likes different positions, and everyone has a favorite and if your partner doesn’t have any erectile issues with other positions, it’s likely just a preference issue.

Try Different Condoms

Believe it or not, a lot of men have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, or having an orgasm with a condom. He should still use one, but there are lots of different styles of condoms available that might help your partner keep his erection during sex and different sex positions. Try a thinner condom to allow your partner to experience more sensations, or try a ribbed or textured condom. Some condoms with lubricants can be irritating for both men and women, especially if the condom has spermicide on it. Try a variety of condoms until you and your partner find the one you like best.

Try Different Positions And Motions

If your partner loses his erection consistently in any one sex position, try varying your movements in that particular position. Try going fast or slow, harder or softer, or move from side to side instead of up and down. Communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, so you know the next moves to make. If your partner isn’t being honest with you about why something doesn’t feel good, that doesn’t give you any information about how you can please him. If all else fails, don’t give up on sex completely just because your partner doesn’t like your favorite position. There are hundreds of different positions out there and they’re only limited by your creativity. Try different positions such as spooning or sitting up face to face. You may find that there are other positions that you like even better than woman on top, and they might work better for your partner too! You’ll never know unless you try!

Q&A: Blind Date Tips

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 06 May 2010 14:00:53 +0000

Blind dates can be nerve wracking from the get go. You know your blind date will be scrutinizing everything about you from what you’re wearing to what you look like. Beauty, of course, is only skin deep. How can you get your partner to open up and get to know you instead of just paying attention to what is on the outside?

Question: I am going on a blind date and from what I know she is incredibly beautiful. I am not the best looking guy around, but I know she is almost a perfect match for me interest wise. But girls are shallow now-a-days and never look past the skin. I think if all goes right, it could be great. What do I do to get her to want to get to know me?

–YouTube Viewer

Not All People Are Shallow

While a lot of people may appear shallow at first glance, or even may seem shallow when you first start getting to know them, they might not be shallow at all. Not everyone is shallow and while feeling attracted to someone is important on a first date, many people do look past the surface and try to get to know someone for who they are on the inside. Some people really are shallow though, and it wil be impossible to know whether your date is judging you based on what you look like or if she’s actually paying attention to you. As important as it is for two people not to judge each other on looks alone, it’s just as important not to assume your date is shallow from the get go. Give her the benefit of a doubt.

Be Yourself

The best way to show your blind date who you really are inside is to be yourself. Making a good first impression is important, but don’t do it in a way that goes against who you really are. Keep an open mind and stay relaxed, remembering to just let her get to know you without having to pretend to be someone or something you’re not. If you end up going on more than one date with this person or develop a relationship with them, eventually the truth will come out. It makes no sense to try to fake it, because when she does get to know the real you, she will be upset for you having pretended from the get go.

Don’t Force It

While you may feel like you and your date have everything in common and more and will hit it off really great, sometimes that just doesn’t happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. Just focus on having a good time and being yourself, without trying to force the date to become something. If you and your blind date don’t hit it off, don’t stress and don’t automatically attribute it to your looks. Some people click and some people don’t. There are plenty of people out there that you will click with, so it’s important to keep a good attitude about it and keep dating!

Q&A: What’s That Lump Inside My Penis?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 04 May 2010 14:00:27 +0000

Many people have questions about their bodies, such as bumps on their penis, that they’re afraid to ask about or see a doctor about. It’s not uncommon to be nervous about going to a doctor for such a personal issue. But if you have something strange going on with your body and you’re not sure what it is, here’s what you need to do.

Question: I’m scared and I’m not sure what it is. I’m 18 years old and recently I have noticed on the inside of the head of my penis that there is a lump inside the head. This is completely internal. Nothing shows on the outside except for the skin around the area is turning a slight white. I’m really scared to think that it could be cancer or a tumor in my penis head? I can feel the lump in my penis and it feels like hard tissue. When I pinch it, it doesn’t hurt but over time I think its growing.

–YouTube Viewer

Lots Of Possibilities

A lump on the penis could mean anything. It could be a clogged pore, a genital wart, an infection of some kind or even a benign or cancerous cyst. Strange lumps can pop up anywhere on a man or a woman, and there’s really no telling what it is at first glance. It may be getting bigger or growing, it may hurt, or it may stay small and barely noticeable. Other things can turn up on your body, and most of the time they don’t mean anything at all. Our bodies can do strange or crazy things, but it’s all part of nature. On the other hand, some things that can happen to your body aren’t to be taken lightly at all because they could be something serious. How can you tell if that strange lump or other anomaly on your body is something you should be worried about or not?

Seeing Your Doctor

Only your medical doctor can look at you and determine what is going on with you. He or she may examine you, and they may take blood or run other scans depending on what they think it is. Don’t be nervous about going to see your doctor – it’s the only way you can find out for sure what it is. Your doctor can let you know if it’s nothing to be worried about, or if it is something that needs to be treated right away. Your doctor can help you through any kind of treatment you may need, so it’s important to trust your doctor and be comfortable with them. If you don’t like your doctor or don’t feel comfortable with him or her, find someone you do trust and feel comfortable with. Don’t worry about freaking the doctors out. Doctors have seen it all and then some. Their concern isn’t how weird your ailment is – it’s whether what you have going on is dangerous or not and how to treat it and get you well.

Internet Bunk

Lots of medical forums on the Internet now consist of people with various ailments trying to diagnose and treat each other instead of visiting the doctor. This is not a substitute for sound medical advice! Medical forums are great for talking about treatments, tests and receiving general support for whatever medical condition you’re going through but you can’t get a diagnosis in a forum or a chat room. You can only get a diagnosis and treatment from your doctor.

Q&A: 5 Tips To Make Your First Threesome More Successful

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 03 May 2010 14:00:29 +0000

If you and your partner have decided to have your first threesome, you may be wondering on how to make it successful. You may be worried about doing something wrong, or being uncomfortable with someone and not being able to do anything about it. Here are 5 must-do tips to make your first time threesome a great one.

Meet The Third Person

Don’t have a threesome with a stranger. Go on a date with your partner and the third person and get to know them a little bit. Go out for a pizza and beer, or a few drinks at a bar or club. Have fun with them, before there’s any pressure of sex involved. Make sure you and your partner are both comfortable with the third person before you actually get in the bedroom and do the deed. Getting to know who you’re going to have a threesome with will help ease everyone’s mind before getting it on.

Speak Up If It’s Not A Good Fit

If you’re having a threesome dilemma and aren’t totally comfortable with the person you and your partner are considering having a threesome with, speak up. It’s not fair if one person isn’t into another, whether it’s you, your partner or the third person. In a threesome, everyone has to click with one another and be into it. Stepping up and saying that you’re just not feeling this particular person isn’t as bad as it sounds. Just be polite and honest when making your feelings known.

Talk About The Rules Ahead Of Time

One of the best ways to make sure you have a swinging disaster is to avoid talking about what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with before heading to the bedroom. If there’s something that is off limits to you or your partner, let your third person know and encourage them to speak up about anything that makes them uncomfortable as well. Make sure kissing, hugging, fondling, intercourse, oral sex and anal sex are all covered before hopping in bed. The last thing you want during your first threesome is to find out you’re not comfortable with something after it happens.

Take Your Time

Your first threesome isn’t a race to the finish line. Take your time to enjoy it, and if you only end up going to second or third base in your first threesome or foursome, it doesn’t mean you weren’t successful. Feel free to go as slow as you need to. If you’re only ready to make out or do some heavy petting at first, stick to just that until you’re ready for more. Your first threesome is special, but it’s not a once in a lifetime shot. If you enjoy swinging, it’s something you can do at your own pace.

Talk About It Afterwards

Communicate with your partner – and your third person – after the threesome. Talk about what you liked and what you want to try next time, without being critical or judgemental. If it worked out, let your third person know how much fun you and your partner had. If it didn’t, make sure you thank you third person for giving it a go with you. Things get very weird between people when you don’t talk about swinging, because everyone’s thinking something different and worrying that everyone else is on a different page than them.

Take just a minute to check out Adult Friend Finder to meet singles and couples looking for sex near you. Read our review to find out why Adult Friend Finder is the first choice to find someone for sex tonight.

Q&A: First Threesome – Who Should It Be With?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 02 May 2010 14:00:40 +0000

Once you and your partner have reached a consensus on having a threesome together, the next tough step is finding someone to have a threesome with, because it needs to be someone you and your partner are both comfortable with. Here’s what you need to know to choose the best sex partner for your first threesome.

Question: If my boyfriend and I have decided to participate in a threesome, who should it be with? Should it be a close friend who is comfortable with the idea, or should it be a stranger, but a clean stranger of course?

–YouTube Viewer

Not With A Close Friend

While you may be tempted to try having a threesome with a close friend who you know is comfortable with a threesome because you know them well and trust them. But having a threesome with a friend who you’ve known for a long time can potentially destroy a valuable friendship. Especially since you and your partner are new at this, you’re going to have enough on your plate without having to worry about whether your friend too. Your first threesome should be a fun new experience for you and your partner, and bringing a close friend into the mix can easily cause jealousy and frustration.

Not With A Perfect Stranger

Having a threesome with a perfect stranger may seem the way to go if you’re worried about jealousy issues, but remember – you’ll know absolutely nothing about this person. You won’t know if they’re at all compatible with you or your partner, and getting naked with a perfect stranger can be intimidating and downright weird. It can be especially uncomfortable if all three of you are inexperienced at having a threesome! And it can be downright unsafe… Just like sex between 2 people, get to know the person you’re with.

Adult Dating

If not with a friend or a total stranger, than who should your first threesome be with? Fortunately, there are a number of adult dating resources with people just like you who are looking for adult fun without any strings attached.

Adult dating websites allow you to get to know someone through email and chat, so you can determine if they’re a good match for you and your partner or not. Choose someone with a little experience with threesomes or foursomes, and make sure they’re comfortable with first timers. Make sure you lay the ground rules out first, and be sure to speak up if there’s something in particular you aren’t comfortable with before you meet them.

If online adult dating isn’t your thing, try visiting a swinger club in a larger city. Swinger clubs are great for getting your feet wet, because many people just like to watch or have sex with their own partners in a swinger environment. However you choose your first time threesome partner, make sure both you and your partner are comfortable with them and you’ve discussed your preferences up front. It will help you avoid disaster later!

And we can’t say this enough: get to know the people you’re having sex with, both for safety and for just general compatibility.

Q&A: How To Fantasize Without Sounding Like A Pervert

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:00:55 +0000

In a new sexual relationship, it can be nerve wracking to share your sexual fantasies, likes and dislikes with your new partner. Will they judge you? Will you sound like a pervert if you tell them what gets you turned on? Here’s how to share your fantasies with your partner – without making yourself look bad.

Question: My girlfriend keeps asking me what turns me on. How do I say something without sounding like a pervert?

–YouTube Viewer

Accept Your Fantasies

Everyone has something that turns them on sexually. Each person has a fantasy or fetish – and some people have more than one – and what turns someone on differs greatly from person to person. There are as many sexual fetishes, likes and dislikes in the world as there are people. What turns you on is part of what makes you sexually unique, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Unless your fetish is illegal – say, child pornography – having something special (or several somethings special) that gets you hot is perfectly normal. If you accept your fantasies and fetishes as part of yourself and aren’t embarrassed by them, you’re not going to sound like a pervert when you share them with your partner. You’re going to sound like a hot, confident guy who knows what he likes and what he wants. Her attitude about it greatly depends on your attitude about it.

When Your Partner Opens The Door

If your partner has asked you to share with them what turns you on, this is an open door that you want to take advantage of. Sure, coming right out and saying to your partner, “Hey, do you like to bite during sex?” might sound strange coming out of nowhere, but if your partner asks you what you like in the bedroom, don’t be too embarrassed to tell her. She’s let you know that she wants to share fantasies with you. This is a sign that she’s more open minded about sex than you think. Take advantage of the situation and talk about what you like and what she likes. You might find that what turns you on turns her on too and vice versa!

Make It Fun

Sharing your fantasies with your partner isn’t supposed to be nerve wracking, it’s supposed to be fun! Finding out about your partner’s fantasies and sharing yours with her is part of the fun of a new sexual relationship. If you’re still nervous about sharing what turns you on with her, try playing a fun sex game to loosen you up. Adam And Eve has a great game called Sex Is Fun, and involves fun questions about you and your partner’s fantasies. Popular sex advice magazine Cosmo has also come out with a Truth Or Dare game that lets you and your partner discover the truth about each other – and get turned on by the sexy dares. However you decide to share your fantasies and fetishes with your new partner, don’t be embarrassed or scared to do so. Make it fun and exciting instead, because it’s really not as big a deal as you think it is!

Q&A: Cracking Jokes And Talking During Sex

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 14:00:44 +0000

A lot of people find themselves cracking jokes or talking during sex. While sex is generally “supposed” to be hot, heavy and sexy, it can actually be funny too! Is cracking jokes, laughing or talking during sex wrong? Can doing it hurt your relationship with your partner if you talk or laugh too much?

Question: Cracking jokes during sex?? So, when I’m REALLY into it, I tend to ask him, “Am I your bitch?” To which he’ll be like, ‘Yes, yes! My horny ‘lil bitch!” (Damn this is horrible putting this out here) Anyways, I just randomly cracked up a few days ago RIGHT in the middle of going at it and said, “You get the whole bitch thing right? Yeah, cause I’m always presenting myself to you like a bitch in heat.” I swear he laughed, then smacked me on the asscheek. He also says I talk WAY too much during sex. How can I help that??

–YouTube Viewer

Sex Is Supposed To Be Fun!

One of the best things about sex is that it can be whatever you want it to be. Whether you want it to be soft, slow and romantic or hard, fast and dirty, sex is all about what you make it to be. If you want sex to be fun and lighthearted, it can be that too! Sex is supposed to be a way to have fun, relieve stress and make you feel good and if you want to laugh, talk or crack a joke or two, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Of course, making sex out to be a complete joke won’t work for you or your partner though, so where do you cross the line?

Too Much Goofiness?

While it’s great to have fun during sex, laughing and making jokes can go too far if you let it. Are you always cracking jokes, or always laughing? Is sex ever serious or sexy for you? If not, you might want to try stopping the joke making, laughing and talking some of the time and try having a sweet love making session or a downright dirty one. It doesn’t matter which (or anything in between) as long as there’s no joking involved. Giving your partner a break from the laughing and joking and focusing just on the pleasure might be more incredible than you can imagine!

When One Of You Isn’t Into It

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with laughing and talking during sex. But if one of you isn’t into it, it gets old quick. You just can’t be sure if your partner is laughing at you or not and sometimes you just want sex to be sex instead of a joke. If your partner isn’t into the talking or making jokes during sex, it can damage your relationship and your partner’s sexual satisfaction if you keep it up. Think about why you’re laughing and making jokes all the time during sex. Are you unable to let go and fully enjoy sex? Are you trying to cover up for being uncomfortable or nervous during sex? If you can’t quit laughing and joking during sex (at least some of the time) it’s time to dig deep and figure out why.

Q&A: Help! My Girlfriend Does NOT Want Me To Use A Condom

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:00:58 +0000

While using a condom is a great way to protect yourself and your partner from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, not everyone likes the way a condom feels. Both men and women can find condoms uncomfortable, and many find it harder to orgasm when using one. Are there other ways to prevent pregnancy and STD’s?

Question: I have a problem. My girlfriend doesn’t want me to use a condom while having sex. I’m telling her that we must use it to prevent pregnancy. She is telling me that there is other ways of contraception, but she doesn’t want to have a condom in her. What other simple ways you can suggest to prevent pregnancy? And what should I do? Should I talk to her more about using a condom?

–YouTube Viewer

Why Doesn’t She Want To Use A Condom?

If your partner doesn’t want you to use a condom, try to find out what it is about condoms that make her so uncomfortable. Does she have a latex allergy and she doesn’t know it? Is she sensitive to spermicide in condoms, or does she simply not like the way that it feels? There are a number of different kinds of condoms available, including polyurethane condoms for those with latex allergies, scented and flavored condoms, textured condoms and condoms without spermicide if she’s sensitive. Try getting a “goodie bag” of condoms together (you can buy a mixed lot of condoms easily online) and suggest trying them out.

Other Forms Of Birth Control

There are other forms of birth control available, such as the pill, the patch or the shot. But none of these contraception methods help to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Unless you are absolutely positive that you are both monogamous to each other and have had recent, completely negative STD testing results (and no unprotected partners in between), you just can’t be sure that you won’t transmit or contract a sexually transmitted disease. One of the best ways to prevent pregnancy and STD’s together is for the woman to use a form of hormonal birth control such as the pill or the patch in addition to using a condom. This double layer protection is the best way to ease your mind and let you have fun with your partner without worrying about STD’s and pregnancy.

No Glove, No Love

Ultimately, you decide whether you’re comfortable using a condom or not. Don’t let your partner pressure you into not using a condom if you don’t feel comfortable with it. You and your partner may find an alternative birth control method that works well for the both of you, but make sure it’s something you are comfortable with too. Remember though that the end decision lies with you. If you don’t want to have sex without a condom, don’t do it and don’t let anyone else tell you that you have to. There’s nothing wrong with insisting that you be safe and if your partner ends the relationship because of it, you’ll regret that a lot less than an unwanted pregnancy or ending up with a sexually transmitted disease.

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