Ask Dan and Jennifer » sex ed

Blowjob Tip #2 – She’s In Charge, Here’s Why… (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:00:26 +0000

If you’re learning how to give a great blowjob, one of the best tips you can employ is being in charge and being confident of your abilities to give great head. Even if you’re new at it, being in charge can be pleasurable for both you and your partner. Here’s why!

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Why It’s Good For Him

Since most men take control during sex and even during a blowjob, logically, it doesn’t make sense that they would want to give up control, does it? But get this – most men take control during sex because they have no choice. Many women don’t know how to enjoy themselves during sex and end up lying there, making the man do all the work if he wants anything to happen. Guys are actually aching to give up control! What better way to get pleasure than to have a woman worship your penis and be completely devoted to giving you pleasure? It’s awesome! He loves it when you take control, let him lie back and enjoy the ride.

Why It’s Good For You

Taking charge when giving head is good for you because you get to do what you want to do. Don’t like a certain position? Try another one. Getting a jaw cramp? Switch to using your hand for a little while. Deep throating make you gag? Lick it like a lollipop instead. Of course you want to take his verbal and non-verbal feedback into account when using different techniques and do what he likes best, but you want to be comfortable and enjoy giving him head as much as he enjoys getting it.

Why You Need To Be Confident

It’s important to be confident – or at least appear that way – when you’re going down on your guy. Nothing ruins a great blowjob than a passive girl asking, “Am I doing this right?” or “Did I do something wrong?” Sure, you want to ask your man questions. But you want to use positive, confident phrases that assert your control, such as “Do you like this?” or “Does this feel good?” or even, “Tell me what feels good.” Your demeanor can actually make all the difference during fellatio. You want your man to relax and let go, feeling good about leaving you in the driver’s seat. Who wants to enjoy the ride with a driver who’s constantly worried they’ll wreck and asking you if they’re hitting the brakes right or accelerating properly?

A blowjob works much the same way – a guy just wants to know that you know what you’re doing (or at least perceive that you know what you’re doing) and get lost in the feeling of getting great head. So be confident and take charge! You’ll both like blowjobs a lot better if you do.

Think You Know How To Give A Great Blowjob? Take the Blowjob Quiz and find out!

Take just a minute to check out ‘Blow His Mind Tonight’: “What Your Man Secretly Wishes You Knew About Oral Sex… But Will Never, Ever Tell You To Your Face!”

Blowjob Tip #1 – Why It’s a Gift, Not an Obligation (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 13:00:58 +0000

Men love to get blowjobs – in fact, many men prefer getting oral sex to vaginal intercourse and sometimes, it’s their favorite type of stimulation of all time. Naturally, women who want to please their partners want to find out the best blowjob tips and advice so they can be an oral sex master – here’s what you want to know on how to give the best blowjob!

Oral sex is one of the most intimate gifts we can give one another. When a woman gives a man oral or manual stimulation, you are giving him a very special gift. That means you’re in charge! Here are some tips to make the experience more pleasurable for both of you.

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The Greatest Sexual Gift

When a man gives a woman oral sex, he does what he thinks will make her feel good. When a woman gives a man oral sex, she let’s him take the reins and shows her how he likes it, even to the point of physically manipulating her to maximize his own pleasure. Not only can this be uncomfortable for a woman, it doesn’t allow her to give head as a “gift” to her partner. One of the great things about oral sex is that it’s one of the best sexual gifts you can give. Since oral sex provides the giving partner no physical stimulation whatsoever, the focus is totally on the receiving partner and their pleasure. So to give oral sex to someone means you’re focusing on their pleasure and their pleasure alone. When a man takes the reins when she’s giving him a blowjob, that takes away from the fact that she’s “giving” him a sexual gift, making her feel more used than treasured.

Women In The Driver’s Seat

If you’re going to go down on him, it’s time to sit in the driver’s seat. Let your partner know that you’re in control and that you’re giving him the gift of oral sex – so he just needs to sit back and enjoy it! Blindfold him and tie his hands behind his back if you have to (which can, of course, add to the fun) but it’s important that he doesn’t try to take control while you’re giving him oral sex. If he’s not the submissive type, it may be an adjustment, but in the long run, allowing you to enjoy giving him the gift of oral sex – instead of making it an obligation or making you feel used – will give him more pleasure. He’ll like watching you enjoy it and he’ll get blowjobs more often!

Listen To His Feedback

It’s essential that you listen to his verbal and non-verbal feedback when you’re giving your partner fellatio. While you get to pleasure him how you’d like, listening to what makes him feel good is important. For example, if he lets you know verbally what he likes, make sure you incorporate that into your blowjob routine. You can also listen to your partner’s non-verbal feedback. For example, if your partner is quiet or doesn’t seem to be getting into it, change what you’re doing. If your partner starts making noise and showing that he’s really enjoying what you’re doing, keep doing what you’re doing! Otherwise, your partner should lie back, relax and enjoy your oral sex gift!

Think You Know How To Give A Great Blowjob? Take the Blowjob Quiz and find out!

Take just a minute to check out ‘Blow His Mind Tonight’: “What Your Man Secretly Wishes You Knew About Oral Sex… But Will Never, Ever Tell You To Your Face!”

What Are Crabs And How Do You Get Them? Dangerous Sex Toys? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 14:00:41 +0000

You’ve probably heard of the term “crabs” before, and we don’t mean the kind you get at the local seafood joint. Crabs are a curable, although annoying, sexually transmitted disease that you can get a number of ways – including non-sexual ways, such as sharing underwear with someone if it hasn’t been washed in hot water first.

Virgin girl gets crabs – did she get them from her sister’s vibrator or from somewhere else? What exactly are crabs, how do you get them and what can you do to get rid of them?

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What Are Crabs?

Crabs are lice – like head lice, only much smaller, that live in the pubic area. Crabs are tiny and hard to spot, and lay eggs on the hair shaft or follicle like head lice do. Crabs are generally spread through sexual contact, although this doesn’t have to include penetration. Any sexual contact, including vaginal sex, anal sex, or any type of pubic area to pubic area contact. People with crabs (also known as pubic lice) don’t always look like they have pubic lice, and it can be hard to spot. If you have multiple sex partners, make sure you check yourself regularly.

Symptoms of crabs include white dots – which are the crabs’ eggs – in your pubic hair (easier to see if your pubic hair is dark) and can often be spotted easily with a magnifying glass. Intense itching is one of the most common symptoms, even before you begin to see eggs. If you suspect that you might have pubic lice, see your doctor. Your doctor can prescribe a simple shampoo that will remove the crabs as well as their eggs.

Avoiding Crabs

There are some ways you can avoid getting crabs, although, if you have multiple sex partners, it can be difficult to spot right away and you might come into contact with them. You can also get crabs from wearing unwashed underwear of someone who has crabs, or sharing sex toys with someone who has crabs. To avoid exposing yourself to crabs, avoid sharing sex toys with anyone, and always wash your sex toys after use (even if you’re the only one who uses them. You might not get crabs from yourself, but it’s just better hygiene and will avoid spreading unwanted bacteria). You can use a special sex toy cleaner, or simple soap and hot water.

Getting Educated

While crabs are an unwanted sexually transmitted disease, they’re curable and certainly not one of the worse. Many other infections and sexually transmitted diseases can be spread by sharing sex toys or having multiple sex partners. Many of these infections can be treated, but some can’t. It’s important to educate yourself about sexually transmitted diseases and infections and learn how they’re transmitted, what the symptoms are and how you can protect yourself. Using condoms greatly reduces your risk of contracting a number of STD’s and infections. You’re worth the time it takes to explore different resources and take charge of your sexual health. Being smart, safe and informed can save you a lot of time, money, heartache and health problems later.

Help! He Doesn’t Want Anything To Do With My Baby! (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:15:32 +0000

It’s an unfortunate yet age old situation – a girl gets pregnant, knows who the father is, yet he wants nothing to do with her or the baby because he doesn’t believe it’s his. Some men, even if they know they’re the father, will still want nothing to do with the child. What’s a girl to do?

A girl gets pregnant and knows her boyfriend is the father – but he disagrees. Now he wants nothing to do with the baby! What can she do?

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Is It Him? Is It Someone Else?

If you’ve only had one sex partner in between menstrual cycles, generally, you can pretty much bet that he’s the father. However, if you’ve had more than one partner, you can’t be sure of who the father of your unborn child might be. Of course, if you’ve had multiple sex partners, your partner may be unsure of whether he’s the father or not as well. You might be “sure,” but you can never be 100% sure of who the father is if you’ve had multiple partners without a blood test.

Getting A Paternity Test

If you’re in a situation where you’re pregnant and you’ve had more than one sex partner, it’s important to have a paternity test done. Even if you’re sure of who the father is, a paternity test can still be helpful if your sexual partner is unsure of whether he could be the father or not. This can be done while you’re still pregnant, but can be dangerous for the fetus. A simple blood or saliva test after the baby is born will tell you for certain whether a sexual partner you’ve had is the father of your child or not. This will also help you legally should you pursue child support down the road if the father still wants nothing to do with the baby. Some paternity tests are expensive, and you might be tempted to contact a television show for a paternity test, but don’t do a show unless you’re a million percent certain of who the father is. Being proven wrong on a television show is embarrassing and time consuming – if you’re even a little doubtful, shell out the dough for a private paternity test. You’ll be glad you did.

Your Options

You can legally and physically prove that your sex partner is, in fact, the father of your child, but you can’t make him be a dad. It takes a lot more to be a “Dad” than sharing genetics. If he wants no part of the child’s life, there’s nothing you can do. It can be difficult to wrap your head around, but it is what it is and there isn’t anything you can do to change that. Unless you’re prepared to be a single mother, you need to consider your options. There are many available to you and you should learn about them and understand them. There is abortion and adoption if you don’t wish to have a child, depending on what your beliefs are. Think about what you want to do before you have a paternity test.

Does Sex Always Equal Babies? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:00:08 +0000

Sex education these days is at a low, especially considering our social growth and development in other areas of our lives. While we love exploring why educating our youths about sex is so taboo, this time we’re talking babies. We’re going to answer the simple, yet age old question – does sex always equal babies?

Most people know this, but some of you may not. Does sex always equal babies? Do you have a baby for every time you have sex? Here’s what you want to know about the fundamentals of sex and pregnancy!

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Egg, Sperm, Birds And Bees

To address whether sex always equal babies, first you need to understand the fundamentals of what creates a baby. What it takes to make a baby is simply 1 sperm to fertilize 1 egg. While men release millions of sperm each time they ejaculate, women only drop 1 egg a month (generally, with the exception of twins) within a window of about 3 days, during which the egg can be fertilized. So while you may have sex 30 times in one month, or 5 times in one month, that does not equal how many babies you will have. Most of the millions of sperm that enter the vagina during unprotected intercourse will die before ever reaching the egg, thousands do reach the egg and all it takes to fertilize it is 1. Sperm can also live in the vagina for about three days as well, so these events don’t always have to happen back to back or in order for a pregnancy to occur. In fact, you may release an egg before you have unprotected sex, but still end up pregnant.

Educate Yourself

You can’t rely on your parents or even schools to educate you about sex, so it’s important for you to take that step and start educating yourself. Read about female and male anatomy and broaden your understanding about sex and pregnancy and how they relate to each other. There are a ton of resources available to you through your local health department, the library and websites that can help you understand the basics of pregnancy and sex, as well as human anatomy. Knowledge is power and it’s important to be informed and smart when it comes to sex and you can never learn too much.

Always Risky

When you have unprotected sex, you’re always running the risk of becoming pregnant. Even protected sex isn’t completely, 100% effective. All it takes is 1 sperm and 1 egg. Know that any sex (even protected) can result in a pregnancy, even if it isn’t a pregnancy for every time you have sex. Every time you have sex, you risk getting pregnant. If you aren’t planning on having a baby or don’t want one, take measures to protect yourself when having sex. Abstinence is the only 100%, foolproof way to prevent pregnancy, but condoms, spermicide and birth control work well in reducing the risk of pregnancy, especially when used in conjunction with other pregnancy prevention methods. Condoms are the only safer sex method that will protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. Do your research – it pays to be informed.

When Should You Talk To Your Kids About Sex? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:00:38 +0000

Sex ed is a hot topic these days, with teens making pacts to get pregnant and STD’s on the rise. Kids obviously need sex ed – but are they getting it? Who is responsible for teaching kids about sex, and when and how should it be done? Are schools responsible for sex ed? Are books or the Internet responsible, or how about movies, music and TV? No - you, as a parent, are solely responsible for your child’s sexual education. So when should you talk to your kids about sex?

What is the right age to tell your kids about sex? 8? 10? 15? 18? Watch this video to hear what we think about talking to your kids about sex. Visit our YouTube Page to comment and share what you believe is the right age. We also want to hear about your funny ’situations’ – what’s the most awkward question your kids have asked you about sex? When did they ask it? How did they ask it? How did you react to the question?

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Why We Don’t Want To Talk To Our Kids About Sex

We don’t want to talk to our kids about sex because it makes us uncomfortable. Maybe our parents didn’t talk to us about sex, or we’re embarassed about sex. Heck, most of us can’t even talk to our partners about sex, let alone talk to our kids! But we’re adults – we’re supposed to have the answers. That’s what parenthood is all about. If you don’t know the answers, go find them and live up to the responsibility of being a parent. Maybe it makes you uncomfortable to talk to your child about sex, but how uncomfortable are you going to be when your twelve year old daughter comes home pregnant? Or your teenage son has caught a nasty case of Chlamydia or worse – HIV? That’s a pretty uncomfortable situation and you will then, of course, have to talk to them about sex and why they’re pregnant or infected with a sexually transmitted disease. Why wait until it is too late?

The Right Time Is Now

Okay, we don’t mean “now” as in right this second, especially if your kid is still in diapers. We mean “now” as in talking to your kids about sex when they ask about it. If they don’t ask you about it, it means they’re getting their information from somewhere else, because they will ask. So if they ask you about sex, take the opportunity to answer their questions in an age appropriate manner and be grateful they’re not asking their teenage friends or worse, relying on movies and television to show them how it’s done.

There are three keys that you need to know when taking it upon yourself to discuss sex with your child – first, wait until they ask, but let them know beforehand that it’s okay to ask and make them feel comfortable and safe when asking about sex. Second, answer their questions in an age appropriate way. If your child is eight and asking about sex, you can explain to them simply that it is how children are made. Third, answer your child’s question and only your child’s question. Just because they asked a question about sex doesn’t mean you have to launch into an entire birds-and-the-bees lecture. Often, children will be satsified that their question was answered and go on about their business. They’ll ask more and want to know more along the way – so let them lead.

Stop Making Up Fairytales

You’ve known for a long time that children aren’t delivered by the stork, and that hospitals don’t deliver babies as a package. You’ve known how babies are born, did it yourself even, and have known for quite some time how sex really works. So why make up a story to tell to your children for the time being, only to have to tell them it was a lie later? Don’t tell your kids that babies come from the stork, or any other silly explanation about sex so you can escape the sex talk until a later date. It’s the 20th century people. Grow up!

Lead By Example

You want your kids to grow up and have loving, healthy relationships in which they can have smart, safe sex right? You want them to never have to deal with a sexually transmitted disease or infection, and you want them to have a baby when they are ready. You want them to love and be loved by their partner for who they are, right? So show them what a loving, healthy relationship is.

Do We Need Real Sex Ed In Schools? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 13:30:28 +0000

Sex education in schools – if you have a child , it’s undoubtedly something you’re going to encounter at some point during your child’s school education. You’ll want to know what your child is learning – but does that mean that those of us who do not have children should be unconcerned about the sex education that our children as a society are being taught? Not hardly – there are too many limitations placed on sex ed these days in school that the lack of comprehensive sex education is truly an epidemic of large proportions.

What do you think? Should we educate our kids about sex and how to be safe, or tell them to pretend all their friends aren’t having sex and hope for the best? Education or ignorance?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Abstinence Only?

Every sex education program needs to include abstinence. It is a great choice for teens of all ages, because it keeps them completely safe from pregnancy, STD’s and emotional damage until they’re ready for it. But abstinence is just that – a choice. There are other choices when it comes to sex ed, mainly deciding to have sex and have protected or unprotected sex. It’s a choice that many of our teens today are making – they’re making the decisions, so why aren’t we talking to them about it?

According to a 2006 study from the Guttmacher Institute, abstinence only programs make up the sex education curriculum in half of the schools in the southern United States and 1 in 5 schools in the northern part of the U.S. Many schools absolutely forbid education on safer sex, such as education about available contraceptives. Some abstinence only education curriculums do touch on sexually transmitted diseases, if only to scare teens into becoming abstinent, and some touch on male and female anatomy and how babies are born.

Government Control?

Why are the schools in the United States choosing abstinent only curriculum? Waiting until marriage to have sex is largely a religious concept, and with the separation of church and state, schools are no longer allowed to have prayer in schools – so why are they promoting a form of sex education that is founded on religion? A little digging unearths some unsettling facts. $176 million dollars in government funding is available to schools in the United States who promote an abstinence only sex education program. $0 is available to schools in the United States who choose to teach comprehensive sex ed in their classrooms. The federal guidelines for sexual activity include anything that is sexually arousing – including kissing and hugging – and federal guidelines for these sex ed programs require teachers to suggest that sex outside of marriage is wrong and unsafe at any age.

Teens Will Choose To Have Sex – So What Do We Do?

Teaching abstinence in schools doesn’t automatically shut off a teenager’s hormones. It doesn’t suddenly make them not want to have sex, especially when our marketing, television shows and commericals, movies and music promote sex and sexuality at every turn. Our job as parents – and as a civilized society – is to teach children about all of their choices, including the choices to have sex both protected and unprotected. Knowledge is power and children deserve to know what their options are, including what can happen with each choice. Children deserve to know how you feel about sex and what you expect of them, as well as how to learn what they expect of themselves. A properly educated teenager may choose not to have sex at all, or they may choose to have safe, protected sex with someone they care about when they are ready. Uneducated or poorly educated children will not know what to do when a sexual situation arises, when they don’t understand why they should say no, or what to do when their bodies are telling them to do something entirely different. They may choose to have sex, but they may not know that there are options available to help make sex safer for both them and their partners, so they may end up pregnant or with a sexually transmitted diseases.

Perhaps it’s too soon to hope that the federal government will fund comprehensive sex education, but it certainly something we can take into our own hands. Find out what they’re teaching at your child’s school, and fill in the gaps. Give your children the power to choose – and to choose wisely.

Female Orgasm Tip #3 – Why Communication Is Crucial (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 15:00:08 +0000

Giving a woman an orgasm doesn’t have to be tricky – in fact, it doesn’t even require a circus full of performances, contrary to popular belief. You might think you have to stand on your head, recite the alphabet backwards and even juggle with your feet (at the same time, of course) to give your girl the big “O,” but the truth is that nothing is further from the truth. We’re going to go into one of the more basic (but no less intimidating) aspects of giving a girl a toe curling orgasm – communication.

When you hear communication, you normally think “talking” but words are not always the best way to communicate – especially when you’re having sex. In this video, you’ll find out why non-verbal communication is so important.

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Vanilla, Chocolate or Strawberry - What’s Your Flavor?

Just like everyone has different flavor preferences when it comes to ice cream, everyone has different preference when it comes to sex. It’s a rather basic comparison, but an easy one. If you take your girl to an ice cream parlor, how do you order her ice cream? Do you ask what flavor she wants, or do you pick one for her and hope she likes it, only to find out later that it was her least favorite and she only pretended to like it to be nice? Now take that scenario and apply it to giving your girl an orgasm – do you try to find out what she likes, or just wing it and risk doing something she doesn’t like in the bedroom?

Communication Is Key

Okay, so asking your woman what she likes in the sack isn’t as easy as asking her what her favorite ice cream flavor is. It’s much more difficult – in fact, some people are incredibly shy about talking about sexual topics in general and try to avoid it at all costs. Of course, communicating verbally about what she likes in the bedroom is the better way to go about it, but you can also use different forms of non-verbal communication to give you clues about what feels good and what doesn’t. Imagine going to the ice cream parlor and instead of asking her what she likes, watch her as she browses the flavors. Is she giving you any cues about what flavor she likes, such as looking at one more than the other, or even asking for a sample and exclaiming, “Mmmmm!” You can do the same thing during sex – when you’re using a sexual technique, see how she responds to it. Is she saying, “Mmmm!” or is she perhaps using body language to suggest another technique? You can even devise a system between you and your partner to let each other know what feels good and what doesn’t, such as a special word, or a type of moan or even a special touch.

Ladies Only – A Man’s Delicate Ego

Ladies, beware a man’s delicate ego. He doesn’t like to hear criticism about his performance – in fact, he’d rather not hear about what he was doing wrong at all. So how do you let him know if he’s doing something you don’t like? It’s easy – instead of mentioning what he shouldn’t be doing, make a big deal about what he does that you do like. Did he rub you the right way and really get you going last night? Make sure you are vocal about it during the act, mention how good it felt afterwards and for good measure, mention it next week. Chances are, he’ll repeat whatever it was that he did that pushed your hot buttons.

Think you understand Female Orgasms? Take the Orgasm Quiz and find out!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

For Ladies Only: Can’t Reach Orgasm? Here’s A Secret…

Jessica Perez, author Faster Female Orgasm — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 19:00:35 +0000

It’s estimated that about 10% of women have never experienced the joys of reaching a climax. And it doesn’t matter what type of ‘lovemaking’ they engage in. Whether it’s with a partner or via masturbation, some women simply cannot seem to find the road to the Big O.

This has led countless women to seek sex counseling and in my practice, I’ve had the opportunity to share what some ’secrets’ that have helped countless women get out of that 10% statistic.

The secret is actually all about tension and relaxation. It may sound like an oxymoron now but read on below to know more!

The Road To Climax Tip #1: Tense Those Muscles

On one hand, you can’t help but tense up during intercourse right? After all, all that stimulation gets the blood flowing, which in turn heightens sexual arousal. The problem is some women tend to relax the muscles or tissues that contract while making love. Why?

For one, some women tend to be passive in bed. But let me assure you the days of ‘lying there and receiving it’ are over. If you want an orgasm, you better get up there and participate! And yes, tense your muscles while you’re at it.

For example, while in the woman on top position, squeeze your pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles). These are the same muscles you use when you try to stop the flow of your pee. By contracting these muscles, not only are you giving your man pleasure by gripping his penis, you are also increasing the friction between your genitals, thereby increasing sexual pleasure (which is supposed to push to you a wonderful climax).

The Road To Climax Tip #2: Relax Your Mind

The relaxation part comes in the form of letting go of your thoughts. We women can be so BUSY up there! Seriously, do you really have to make a mental note that you need to pick up something from the dry cleaners tomorrow while riding him now?!?

So free your mind, relax, and just let the erotic pleasures that sex bring you wash over you.

If relaxing is hard for you, take cue from the silent radio technique that’s employed a lot in area where people have to fall in line. Notice that electronic billboard that shows snippets of news from left to right? It draws your attention to it doesn’t it?

So, next time you make love, plaster that electronic billboard in your mind with sentences like “omg… his penis is REALLY hitting it now!” or “here it comes, here it comes, here it comes!”. By focusing your thoughts on the pleasures that are ravaging over your body, you’ll hopefully be able to finally experience a climax.

Rmember, to reach the Big O, tense your muscles but relax your mind. Doesn’t sound like an oxymoron at all, does it?

Take just a minute to check out ‘Faster Female Orgasm’: “How To Reach Orgasm During Intercourse In Just 5 Minutes (Or Less)”

Female Orgasm Tip #2 – How To Build Sexual Excitement With Anticipation (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 01:00:39 +0000

There’s nothing like teasing to get your partner going…and when we say teasing, we really, really mean it! Learn the importance of building anticipation before sex and how it can play a role in both your partner’s ability to have a great orgasm and her overall sexual satisfaction.

Now that she’s relaxed, it time to build her sexual excitement with ‘anticipation’. Watch this video to see exactly what we mean…

Click here to view the embedded video.

Getting Her More Aroused

Your partner is relaxed and ready for sex. Do you just “stick it in?” Of course not! What a great way to spoil all of your hard work in getting her to relax! Now is the perfect time to build her anticipation for sex and get her completely aroused. Don’t just “go for the gold” and go straight down on her either – this is the part where you want to tease her and get her to absolutely beg for sexual release! Getting your partner properly aroused is essential to not only her pleasure, but yours! When a woman is aroused, she secrets vaginal lubrication, making sex more pleasurable for both you and her.

The Art Of Teasing

Going for the gold without getting her aroused is a great way to turn your partner off. Not only is it a mental and emotional turnoff for a woman (especially if you’ve spent all that time relaxing her and showering with her only for the actual sex to be over so quickly) but it can also be a physical turnoff. If her clitoris isn’t properly aroused and her vagina isn’t properly lubricated, direct clitoral stimulation can actually become painful.

To tease your partner, touch her on every area of her body but her clitoris. Of course you don’t want to ignore it completely, so give it a good lick or gentle rub every minute or so. However, it is better to spend most of this time massaging her breasts, licking her nipples, kissing her mouth and neck deeply, licking her thighs and letting your tongue rove in and out of her vaginal folds. Take your time during this part and your woman will become incredibly, inconsolably turned on – so much so that it would take a great deal to turn her off!

Make Your Move

Once you’ve gotten her completely aroused, feel free to proceed with sex as you please. Finish going down on her until she has a mind blowing orgasm, or have penetrating sex where you reach her g-spot. Either way, once your partner is not only relaxed, but sufficiently aroused and warmed up, your partner will be closer to an incredible orgasm than you or her could possibly imagine.

While the occasional quickie is something that shouldn’t be forgotton, use this sexy technique any time you want your partner to be totally, 100% involved in sex and thinking of nothing else. This is a technique you can use all the time – women rarely get tired of having a man focus totally on them and their arousal and pleasure!

Think you understand Female Orgasms? Take the Orgasm Quiz and find out!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

Top 5 FREE Sex Education Resources (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:00:13 +0000

Sex education – it’s a touchy topic and it’s everywhere. But what is modern sex education teaching us and our youth? Are we being honest about sex, or does today’s “sex education” leave much to be desired? We’re going to give you our 5 favorite FREE sex education resources, so you can start filling in the gaps, whether you’re educating yourself or educating someone else.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Your Local Health Department

Your local health department is probably step one when it comes to getting the best free or reduced cost health and sex services. Believe it or not, your local health deparment will provide services including free or reduced cost physical exams, breast exams and pap smears, as well as sexually transmitted disease testing and sexually transmitted infection treatment. Many health departments offer free birth control supplies including condoms and birth control pills, as well as other hormonal birth control methods such as the IUD, the diaphragm, the birth control ring or the birth control patch or shot.

Find your local health department by visiting Health Guide USA and clicking on “local health departments.”

SexEtc.org

SexEtc.org is a great sex education resource for teens. It’s an easy to navigate website with full feature videos, forums and articles on the sex topics teens really want to know about. The best thing about SexEtc.org? It’s written by teens, for teens! Most teenagers hate the “condescending” feel of sex education from adults, and SexEtc.org gives teens the information they need from their very own peers. Teens can even chat and participate in polls on everything from their first time to homophobic bullying and more. If you are a teen or are a teen’s parent, definitely check out SexEtc.org!

Scarleteen.com

Scarleteen.com is another teen oriented sex education website with lots of useful information presented in a way that teens and even young adults can understand and relate to. This website is article heavy, but the articles are precisely on the topics that teens today want to know about, such as male reproductive choices, how guys can prevent rape and even more topics for girls! When researching sex ed topics, be sure to look at several credible websites and use your own judgement – most of the time, if you see similar information on a topic come up again and again on different websites, you can trust that the information is reliable.

Positive.org

The message given by Positive.org is a simple yet powerful one – you have the right to complete and honest sex education! A little less colorful than some of the other teen centered websites, Positive.org appeals not only to many teens but also adults of all ages who want the straight facts on sex. This site is a little more difficult to navigate, but talks about every sex topic you could possibly want to know about, including information about STD’s and STI’s, homosexuality, teen sex, safer sex, pregnancy prevention and much, much more.

Sexuality.org

Sexuality.org is a more adult oriented sex education website and is like an online book with lots of information available. Read articles about sexuality topics, review guides on educational books and videos, and check out transcripts of presentations from popular therapists, doctors and other notable figures. Sexuality.org offers lots of different perspectives on topics from erotic massage, tantra and BDSM, as well as other sex education topics such as pregnancy, birth control and STD and STI prevention.

Sperm, Semen and Safe Sex – What You Need To Know (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 01:00:50 +0000

Sex education, unfortunately, is at a low nowadays. Although our society has evolved exponentially since sex was considered completely taboo – sex education is still primitive. Television shows, movies, music and even the Internet has taken sex to a completely new level, with songs about “booty calls” and nudity on prime time, but adults in this nation can’t bear to discuss more than the scant basics of sex with their youth. It’s about time somebody steps up and gives solid, useful information about every aspect of sex in an educational way so that our youth can make informed decisions about sex, oral sex and foreplay.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend gives me blow jobs, hand jobs, etc. Every time we play, this white sticky stuff come out, and then after a few minutes cum comes out – what is all this stuff coming out of me?

–Jason, TX

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Sperm, Semen and Precum

Lots of girls want to know – what’s the skinny on sperm, semen and precum? What are they?

Precum – The clear, thinnish and somewhat sticky liquid that comes out of the head of the penis in small amounts during penile stimulation before he actually ejaculates. Precum can and does contain live sperm, although in significantly smaller amounts than actual semen.

Semen – The whitish, thicker fluid that comes out of the head of the penis during ejaculation that contains millions of sperm.

Sperm – Organisms carried within semen and precum that join with a woman’s egg to conceive a child.

Which Of These Can Get A Girl Pregnant?

In short – all of them! Precum and semen both contain sperm. Having unprotected sex without a condom, even before the man ejaculates, can get a woman pregnant. It is better to treat a penis like a loaded gun. Many women believe that allowing a man to have intercourse with her without a condom is safe, as long as the guy pulls his penis out of her vagina before he ejaculates, and ejaculates away from her vagina. While this is safer than allowing your partner to actually ejaculate inside you, it is not a way to protect against pregnancy. Sperm can travel out of the penis pretty much at any time – allowing a condomless penis to get within the vicinity of your vagina puts you at a definite risk of getting pregnant.

Don’t chance it! Even allowing your partner to rub his penis on the outside of your vagina without a condom can transmit sperm from the penis to the vagina and there’s a reason that sperm are called “little swimmers.” They travel! For the safest type of sex, use a condom to prevent pregnancy. You can also discuss with your doctor other methods of birth control that can be used in conjunction with a condom for added protection, or in lieu of a condom if your with an STD free partner and in a completely faithful, monogamous relationship.

Which Of These Can Transmit A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

In short – all of them! Again, treat a condomless penis like a loaded gun, even more so if you’re unsure if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease. To clarify, unless you have a piece of paper in your hand that says your partner has tested negative for STD’s and you’re 110% positive your partner has not had any type of sexual contact with anyone else since the test was taken, you’re unsure of whether your partner has an STD. Protect yourself. Both precum and semen can carry the HIV and AIDS virus, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases. It is important to be even more vigilant if you’re concerned about STD’s, however, because you don’t just have to worry about any fluids from your partner’s penis coming into contact with your vagina, you also have to worry about these fluids possibly coming into contact with your mouth or any open sores or cuts on your body.

For example, if you knicked yourself shaving and your partner rubs his penis up your leg without a condom, you can possibly contract an STD that way. It’s rare – yes. But possible. Be safe and get STD tested, suggest that your partner get STD tested, stay in a monogamous, faithful relationship whenever possible, and use condoms during anal sex, oral sex and vaginal intercourse any time you’re unsure. Always treat your partner’s penis as though it can get you pregnant or give you an STD because in truth – it can! That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. Just be safe and smart about it!

How To Put On A Condom (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 01:15:11 +0000

Whether it’s your first time or your three hundredth time, putting on a condom the correct way might still prove elusive to you. How do you put on a condom safely, how do you make sure the condom is still good and how do you take it off correctly to avoid spillage? Here’s answers to your questions, and more!

Dear Dan And Jennifer,

I’m a first time condom wearer – I want to be safe, but how do I put one on the right way? It seems harder than it should be! Do you have any tips?

–Terry, Washington

Click here to view the embedded video.

Checking Your Condom

First, keep your condoms in a cool, dry place. Condoms that are kept in glove compartments, wallets and back pockets can break down more easily than condoms that are kept in a drawer or another safe place. Before opening your condom, make sure the condom hasn’t passed its expiration date – yes, condoms can expire! Open your condom gently to make sure you’re tearing only the package (not the condom) and check it for consistency. Make sure if it’s a lubricated condom that the lube is still moist, and make sure your condom is still in good, working condition. If it seems like your condom might not be ready to go, throw it out and get a new one!

Putting Your Condom On

You might want to put your condom on in a lighted situation – putting on a condom in complete darkness can lead you to possibly put it on the wrong way. Grab the built in reservoir on the top and roll the condom slowly down the penis, making sure that all of the air bubbles are worked out of the condom before you start. To avoid fluid contamination, be sure that both your hands and penis are clean before putting on a condom. Be very careful that no fluid from the penis gets on the outside of the condom before you begin intercourse, as this may lead to sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

Removing Your Condom

When you’re ready to remove your condom, pull your penis out slowly while gripping the base of the condom to avoid spilling any seminal fluid that is inside the condom. Turn completely away from your partner before removing it, and slowly roll the condom back up the penis while making sure that the seminal fluid stays in the built in reservoir. Take your used condom, wrap it in tissue and throw it away properly – they don’t flush! Wash your hands and penis thoroughly with soap and water before touching your partner again.

Tips And Pointers

If a condom breaks, pull out immediately and remove the condom, washing thoroughly before putting on another one. Make sure your condom fits properly – if it’s not snug, or there are air bubbles or it seems too loose, your condom might be too big and you may need to choose a smaller size. It can also be dangerous if your condom is too small or too tight – if the ring around the base of the condom doesn’t go all the way to the base of your penis, the condom isn’t the right size for you. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different types of condoms until you find the right one for you!

Can Masturbation Help Prevent Getting Erections At The Wrong Time? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:28:32 +0000

It’s every guy’s worst nightmare – having an erection at the wrong time, whether you’re in class, at the office or on a casual date with a girl you really like.

Having an erection at the wrong time can be embarrassing and it can be even more embarrassing and frustrating trying to hide it. Can masturbating often or at the right times help prevent unwanted erections?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do you know if it is a common occurrence for a guy to masturbate not so much for the direct pleasure (although it is nice) but to not have any "urges"? I often masturbate so I won’t get them at the "wrong" times. Is that a common occurrence?

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Erections are a natural thing!

An erection for a man is his body’s way of letting him know that there’s tension there,sexual or not, that needs to be relieved. It signals arousal but there are times where a man can get an erection and he’s not thinking about sex nor is he aroused at all.

An erection is simply when extra blood flows to the penis, making it stiffer instead of more relaxed. This can happen often and it is known for happening at some of the most inopportune times.

Masturbating to relieve tension.

Almost every man (if not every man) masturbates at some time or another. Many men masturbate often, especially if they’re not sexually active, while some masturbate less.

However often a man needs to masturbate is generally considered healthy, with the exception of often forgoing sexual intercourse with your partner in lieu of masturbation or masturbating to the point of physical harm.

Masturbating helps to relieve tension and yes, it can help to prevent erections at the wrong time.

When to masturbate?

Many men masturbate in the mornings before a day at the office so they can put the focus on their work, while others prefer to masturbate less often. If you want to use masturbation as a means to prevent unwanted erections, try going without masturbation for a few days and note when your erections seem to happen.

Do they happen at a certain time or when you see a certain person? Learn your triggers. There may be more than a few and sometimes it can be hard to figure out what the triggers are, but it’s helpful to have at least a little background knowledge on when you seem to get unwanted erections before you use masturbation as a tool to prevent them.

Use your triggers to prevent unwanted erections.

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eXtreme Sex Ed: How Do I Talk To My Husband About Sex? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 01:42:27 +0000

When learning about your partner’s body and your own body and how they work together during sexual intercourse or other sexual activity, you might run into a few roadblocks along the way.

You might find it difficult to bring up the subject of how you like a certain thing or what feels good and what doesn’t.

How can you talk to your partner and help them to learn what you like and don’t like in bed?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Sometimes I feel like my husband doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. I find it hard to talk to him about this stuff, the sex and things like condoms and lube, how do I talk to him?

– Scarlett, NJ

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Learn yourself first.

The first step to being able to tell your partner where to go when pleasuring you is to first learn where you’re going. This often happens during masturbation. Learn what spots are sensitive and how you like to be touched, as well as what doesn’t work for you. Once you’re comfortable with your own body, you can help your partner learn where to go.

The Fragile Male Ego

Telling your partner how you like to be touched sexually, especially if he’s not doing it that way, can be intimidating and rightly so. Men have fragile egos that are easily damaged, especially when it comes to their sexual skills.

Trying to talk to your partner about these things can easily cause the words to die right in your throat, getting you nowhere, because you’re afraid to hurt his feelings. It’s good to be a little scared, because you can hurt your partner’s feelings if you want to tell him that you like to be touched in a way that he’s not touching you.

You can easily make him feel inadequate or even useless in the bedroom. Does that mean you have to shy away from the conversation at all and stop enjoying sex with your partner just to save his feelings? No! It’s all in how you go about it.

Don’t Criticize

Being critical when making suggestions about your partner’s sexual performance is the number one thing that will upset him and bruise his ego. It’s very important not to be critical at all, instead, be supportive.

Don’t tell your partner what he’s doing wrong, suggest to him something else to do instead. When he does hit the right spot, make sure he knows it! Be vocal, thank him and definitely return the favor. Many women make the mistake of never changing their vocal suggestions or their body language, regardless of what feels good and what doesn’t.

Give your partner a chance to learn what you like and what you don’t based on your reactions.He will learn to tell the difference between a mild "ooh" and an "OOOH!" He’ll want to continue doing the things that elicit the most reaction from you, and you’ll want him to!

Make it Fun

If you want to talk to your partner about toys, lubes and other things related to sex but are afraid to, make it a little bit fun. Go shopping for these things together, or browse them online from the comfort of your home.

Point out things that you like and ask him to show you what he likes. You can learn a lot from each other this way! Combine that with positive suggestions on which of his moves feel good and which don’t and you’ll both soon be rocking each other’s world!

eXtreme Sex Ed: Help! I Feel Like A Spectator During Sex! (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:12:37 +0000

If you’re new at sex or are just new to your partner, it might be difficult for you to get "into" your partner.

Things might seem awkward at first and it can be frustration to experience sexual intimacy with your partner without being really "into" it. How can you get more into your partner and more into sex with them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I want to tell my bf what I like in bed, but I don’t know how, because I don’t masturbate? (That’s right! – remember from before Scarlett is a pastor’s kid…) I feel like a spectator during sex. I find it hard to relax and I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. Please help.

–Scarlett, NJ

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Finding Out What You Want

For you to get "into" sex, it’s important for you to experiment with what turns you on. If you don’t know what turns you on and what gets you excited, it’s hard not to feel like a spectator when you’re actually doing the deed. How do you do that? One of the greatest ways to experiment with what you like is to masturbate.

Use your hands, a detachable shower head or even toys to find out what feels the best. You can masturbate with your partner if you prefer, or you can masturbate alone to really try new things and find out what really gets you going.

It’s difficult to get into sex and share with your partner what you like without first knowing yourself.

Get Into The Game

One of the best ways to find out what you like during sex and really get into it is to just dive in and do it! Spend time experimenting with different techniques, including genital massage, oral sex and sexual intercourse.

You might like simultaneous oral sex or you might really enjoy your partner using their hands on you.

You’ll never know though if you don’t try! Have sex with your partner and make mental notes of what you don’t like and what you really don’t want to try again. Next time, try something new.

Continue to do this until you find a few things that you really enjoy doing with your partner. Make a mental note of these and when you’re feeling turned on, you and your partner can use these things to get you really excited and into it.

Make sure both partners get equal satisfaction. It’s easy for a woman to feel like a spectator during sex if the focus is on the man. Share each other equally and take turns pleasuring each other until you build up to an amazing climax!

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eXtreme Sex Ed: I Feel Like I Have To Pee During Oral Sex! (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:19:57 +0000

Feeling like you have to urinate during oral sex, or any other type of sexual activity, can be quite unnerving the first time it happens. If it happens often, you might become even more confused or be tempted to avoid oral sex all together.

Is it normal to feel like you have to urinate during oral sex or other sexual activity? What can you do about it so you can enjoy your partner?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m relatively new at this whole sex thing. I grew up a pastor’s kid…. Anyways, I’m married now, and there are problems. I’ve got tons of questions but no one to ask. Questions that can’t be answered by books. Is it normal to feel like peeing when a person does oral on you? I kind of squirm, cause it feels like I want to pee, and I would be mortified if that happened. So I avoid it all together, which is a shame cause I’d like to know how it truly feels…

–Scarlett, NJ

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The Whole Package

Your genitals actually come in a whole package. The muscles, nerve endings and organs all work together to help you to urinate, achieve orgasm and have sexual intercourse or other sexual activity.

Some of the muscles and nerve endings do two different things. The same muscles that contract while you urinate are also the same muscles that spasm during orgasm.

It’s only natural to consider that sometimes your body might get a little confused. You’re experiencing sexual pleasure and the muscles that are getting ready to spasm during an orgasm might actually make you feel like you have to urinate instead. This is totally normal and it actually happens to both women and men.

Although it’s perfectly normal to feel like you have to urinate during oral sex or other sexual activity, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating or confusing when it happens.

Prevention is Key

If you feel like you have to urinate during oral sex, does that mean you actually do have to urinate? Probably not, but it is certainly possible. If you find yourself feeling like you have to urinate during sexual pleasure, try to preempt yourself by using the restroom before you and your partner get busy.

This can help reduce or eliminate the feeling of having to urinate once you and your partner start pleasuring each other. If you feel the need to urinate during oral sex, feel free to stop your partner and let them know that you need to use the restroom.

You can incorporate it into your sex play by suggesting a hop in the shower with a nice soapy massage or you can just do your business and continue afterwards. It’s up to you based on how comfortable you feel with your partner at the time.

If It Happens

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Is It Safe To Have Sex While My Wife Is Pregnant? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:58:00 +0000

Today’s emphasis on the health of pregnant women can have men wondering if having sex with a woman during her pregnancy is healthy and safe for both the mom and the child.

Fortunately, men will be happy to hear that the only ban on sex is after the baby is born. There are, however, some considerations to take when engaging your pregnant lady in sex – just out of courtesy.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

If my wife is pregnant is it still ok to have sex? because me and my wife are thinking about having a baby and when she’s pregnant I don’t want to miss out on sex for several months. I hope you answer my question in one of your videos.

Thanks.

— Pascal, Canada

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Yes, It’s Safe

Your doctor will tell you if your baby is healthy and if the pregnancy is progressing normally. If your doctor confirms a healthy pregnancy, there is no harm whatsoever in having sex with your partner during her pregnancy.

Most doctors will put a ban on sex for a short time after the baby is born, but during a normal pregnancy, there is nothing to worry about when having sex with your partner. That doesn’t mean, however, that your partner will always feel like having sex.

When She Doesn’t Feel Like It

Even a normal, healthy pregnancy is tough on a woman’s body and emotions. Sometimes it’s difficult for the body to produce the hormones necessary for arousal when it’s regulating both the health of the mother and the baby.

A mom has to produce more blood and even grow a new organ along with the baby when she’s pregnant and with all that going on, she might not feel up to having sex. The second trimester is reportedly better for the sex drive when the morning sickness goes away and before she gets uncomfortably big, but it’s not foolproof.

If your partner doesn’t feel like having sex, don’t hold it against her! Do something else that is intimate instead, such as rubbing her belly or her feet or just cuddling on the couch.

When She Does Feel Like It

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Does Masturbation Really Cause Blindness? (Video)

Paul Carlson — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:47:53 +0000

There are a great number of taboos on masturbation and there have been since almost the beginning of time. You might have heard that masturbation causes blindness or that masturbation makes your palms hairy.

While you might already know that these are old wives tales, it still might leave you with the question, "is masturbation right?" Whether it’s ‘right’ or not is something you need to decide for yourself, but masturbation isn’t unhealthy by any means.

Does masturbation really cause blindness? Are there any medical concerns with masturbation?

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Where did the taboo come from?

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Parents. You ARE The Sex Ed Teacher.

Christ Pro Erotic — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:17:15 +0000

When was the last time you saw something on your Blackberry of a friend of yours was “sexting” in a photo they’ve sent you? Don’t know what I’m talking about?

Good. I didn’t until hearing the terms passed around lately in the news and around young people.

According to the Urban Dictionary.com (a must for parents/adults alike), sexting is defined as “v: the act of text messaging someone in the hopes of having a sexual encounter with them later; initially casual, transitioning into highly suggestive and even sexually explicit.”

Your teen knows what it means

And yes, if you think your pre-teen or teenager is not up to this term, think again.

I think for all the sexual freedom talk, it’s hard to judge what is the right course of action to take when your pre-teen or teenager is acting out something which should be left in the bedroom. It’s even harder today when our kids are more astute with the latest technology than any of us were 10 or 20 years ago.

From cell phones to text messaging to YouTube and Facebook , kids and teens show an ability to master the latest gizmo available on the market. They take it, use it, and create it to be their own identity; they make their homepages and profiles incredibly savvy even for the novice user.

The danger for young people

The danger is many young people are knowledgeable about sexual terms and how to do them, but not have the knowledge to be responsible to themselves and others.

Meanwhile, parents are left in the dust.

Many adults with kids get their children these devices, or give them unlimited time on the computer unaware of how far down the rabbit hole they can go. Your kids can be in their room or at school for hours, with parents not knowing what is on their cell phone, their personal page, or God knows what else. So how do sexually hip parental units find a balance between allowing your kids freedom to grow?

Simple. Be parental. Mom, Dad…Engage!

Getting to know what your children are doing means you may need to get as technically savvy as your kids. It may be as simple as having a sit down chat with your kids. It may mean you will have to confiscate their cell phones or computer to check out what they have on them.

Be a parent; not a friend

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