Ask Dan and Jennifer » sex games

4 Secrets Guaranteed To Spice Up Your Sex Life

W. Wilcox — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 18:40:42 +0000

Sex is a healthy, fundamental component of all good relationships. It unites men and women everywhere, both physically and emotionally and allows both the guy and the girl to truly unleash and express their animalistic AND sensual sides.

But no one’s sex life is perfect. Things slow down, the energy seems to disappear, it’s not as fun or exciting as either of you would like, in short, it needs improving.

So what can you do to get back (or even create for the first time) that special spark that makes great sex so…well, great? Here are 4 top tips.

1. Play Games

The thing that often grinds sex lives to a halt and makes lovemaking become so much of a hassle is the pressure and responsibility that surrounds the whole subject.

For the man, there’s the burden of having to make the girl reach her own climax. For the woman, there’s the strain of making sure her man is sexually satisfied and not bored and liable to go looking elsewhere for sex or questioning the stability and longevity of the relationship they’re both in.

To counteract these negative pressures, try making having sex a less traditional, scheduled, boring task. Instead, pick a couple of fun games that you can play together that are fun and flirty and that can lead casually and smoothly into the actual sex.

Twister, strip poker and spin-the-bottle are all great games that incorporate physical contact and allow both you and your partner to have a little no-hassle, no-responsibility fun that does or doesn’t have to lead to a bout of impromptu lovemaking.

2. New Locations, New Positions

People often have a very 2-dimensional outlook on the nature of sex and how one should go about having it. The vast, vast majority of people, for example, only have sex in the bedroom.

And even they have a set routine, lights dimmed or off, the same progression through the various stages of sex: a little foreplay, intercourse in missionary and maybe doggy if the guy’s lucky and the girls feeling up to it, then it’s pretty much over. Even if your personal situation has more life than that, sex in the bedroom can still become a drag after a while.

So, switch it up. Think about different locations you can use: the living room, bathroom, kitchen…consider all possibilities, even if they at first seem far-fetched and silly. Also, think about locations away from the home once in a while.

Motels and cheap hotels offer a couple a fresh place to explore each other. Secondly, improvise and experiment with the positions you use. Missionary, girl on top, spoons, and doggy are all great, but always try to mix in a few more unusual, adventurous ones to spice things up.

Even if you find yourself in a tangle with your partner, you’ve still had fun and been spontaneous, which is a key component of any great sex life.

3. Communicate Fantasies

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Are You Dom or Sub? Sexual Compatibility in the Bedroom

The Beautiful Kind — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:02:32 +0000

“Harder,” I whispered in the dark.

He tried to oblige and picked up the pace a bit.

“Harder!” I asked again. I needed it rough.

With that he stopped mid-thrust and it was game over for the night.

“I can’t treat you like that,” he said with disgust. I felt like a freak.

This was sex with my ex-husband.

Later, I had a relationship with another man, and I got him trained pretty well in the bedroom to do the things I liked, but out of the bedroom he constantly criticized me, complained that I needed to be more assertive and outgoing.

Fast forward through a handful of other brief failed relationships…

These days, I have a wonderful, loving, strong man who can give me a nice hard spanking or tie me up nice and snug. I finally found my dom – someone who can give me what I want in and out of the bedroom.

What is dom and sub?

A dominant person is a leader, likes to be in charge, is the person on top or does the tying. A submissive person is passive, a follower, is often the person being penetrated, and likes to be tied up.

A parallel to the dom/sub dichotomy is extroverted/introverted. For the most part, dom types are extroverts, and the subs are introverted. All you introverts out there know what a relief it is to have an outgoing partner who does well at parties. They take the pressure off of you.

A dom is often a boss, a politician, a lawyer. A sub is often a secretary, a jewelry maker, a massage therapist. But there’s always more than meets the eye! We’ve all heard of the high power businessman who pays a dominatrix to give him a good paddling.

So, dom or sub…which one are you?

Breaking a Pattern

I didn’t realize it, but I was habitually going for the wrong type. I have a thing for sensitive, intellectual academic types, and the men I kept ending up with had submissive personalities.

Turns out they wanted a woman who would lead the way, be in charge, wear the pants. I didn’t have that personality at all. I’m a skirt-wearing wimp. And the fact that I wanted it rough (oh fine – and that I had rape fantasies) made them nervous.

The guy who criticized me – we were one of those annoying bickering couples. And now I know that he resented me putting him in a dom role. It wasn’t comfortable for him.

Look at Your Own Relationship

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3 Ways To Intensify Your Orgasms and Intimacy During Lovemaking

Michael Webb — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:15:40 +0000

Did you know that one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the overall lovemaking experience is by having prolonged foreplay?

It’s true. Including "prolonged foreplay," you’re about to learn three ways to add new levels of passion and excitement to your lovemaking that will bring you and your partner even closer. So here we go!

1. Prolong your foreplay

An extended period of foreplay amplifies your sexual experience because it gives you time to build up sexual anticipation. Why does this work? It’s just human nature. Think about a big event in your life. Whether it be a party, a holiday, or a major movie launch, chances are that you were so excited by the buildup and buzz that it made the experience 10 times better.

Well, the same rules apply to making love. So next time you spend some time under the sheets, make a conscious effort to explore your partner’s body. Leave a trail of kisses all over their body, run your fingers along their skin and gaze lovingly into their eyes.

The more time you spend devoted to foreplay, the greater the experience for both of you. And if you want to feel the magic even more then…

2. Try new things with a "twist"

Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not talking about JUST trying a new lovemaking position, tip, technique or even location. While these things would definitely spice things up, you can make your experience even more fulfilling, simply by using a little added creativity.

For example: Why not learn a new technique––pack a picnic and head to a beautiful park for the day. And if you find a private spot, who knows what might end up happening? Going on dates like these helps to bring back the magic that made you fall in love in the first place.

3. Play bedroom games

Tasteful, fun and alluring sex games are one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the entire lovemaking experience. Not only are they extremely fun and have a lot of ‘replay value,’ but they actually accomplish BOTH the other tips at the same time too!

Because when you play a sex game you…
1. Automatically extend foreplay in a fun and interesting way
2. Try new things that the game tells you to do

And even while some games only consist of familiar tips and moves, you’ll be using them in new scenarios, which actually makes them feel new.

Maybe you’ll use a deck of cards or dice to create your own passionate play. Perhaps you’ll adapt a sport game for the bedroom. Or maybe you’ll just want to use your bodies as the props. It doesn’t matter. Simply get excited and unleash some creativity!

So if you want to create a magical experience, remember there’s no better way than playful game that combines both prolonged foreplay and trying new things.

About the Author:

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of Lick by Lick, the complete guide to giving women oral pleasure. Unfortunately, most men leave women frustrated and disappointed after cunnilingus.

To find out how you can be one of the rare men who can satisfy her with oral sex, visit the Lick by Lick website. Read our review here.

7 Tips For More Pleasurable and Passionate Lovemaking

Michael Webb — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 14:40:36 +0000

Need some ideas to make your lovemaking phenomenal?

These 7 tips should give you plenty of ideas to make your midnight sessions more hot, steamy and passionate, starting today…

1. Become more sensual

While most men want to ‘get the job done’ and reach the goal of orgasm, for women it’s more about the journey. Women love to reach climax as much as men do, but they also love a sensual stroke from your hand across their leg.

Believe it or not, the ears, neck, arms and hair are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and watch how it pleases your partner and can even intensify their orgasm.

2. Try positions proven to increase pleasure

For women: The reverse missionary is identical to the traditional missionary position except that she is on top. This is probably the easiest position for a woman to climax because she can control the friction to her clitoris and/or G-spot.

For men: Practically every animal species utilizes the rear-entry “doggy-style” position, so it is a natural one for humans to enjoy, as well. Although you won’t have face-to-face contact, there are many benefits. It is great for guys because they have full control over movement and pleasure.

3. Play bedroom games

Tasteful, fun and alluring sex games are one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the entire lovemaking experience. They’re fun, sexy and have a lot of replay value.

And even while some games only consist of familiar tips and moves, you’ll be using them in new scenarios, which actually makes them feel new.

4. Set a romantic mood

People often think that using candles, music, incense and even rose petals to set the mood of their lovemaking is too "cliché." Are they kidding! Your partner will LOVE YOU for this. Just imagine how happy you would feel if someone went to all the trouble to create a special lovemaking occasion that you can cherish for years to come. Could this be so "cliché" because people enjoy it so much? Point made.

5. Give them a sexy massage

Why stop at setting the mood? Go one step further and give your partner a sensual massage that makes them feel relaxed and loved at the same time. Make it sexy, sensual, and pleasurable. Massage them naked or build up the anticipation by having them slowly undress during the massage. Then kiss, caress and slowly transition “under the sheets” where a massage of another kind can take place.

And no, you don’t need years of study to give a great massage. Just grab some candles and music, and bless your partner with an experience they’ll never forget….

Too Tired for Sex? Try This…

Karen Lynch — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 15:18:39 +0000

Sometimes we all get caught up in careers, kids and parenthood, life and stress.

Often that affects our relationships with our significant other, especially the sexual side of things.

What happens when you just can’t find the time and the energy?

The Secret to Creating Sexual Energy

Here is something you can try, something fun and exciting and all you have to do is open up and figure out how to use it best to create the most exciting sexual energy available on the planet. It is without a doubt the most important sexual element that you can get.

What is it?

Is it a toy, a tool, a strategy?

Can anybody get it?

Where can you buy it?

Can you show me online?

Is it something that shows up in my spam folder everyday?

The answer is “none of the above”. No, you can’t buy it, you can’t find it out in the world, it’s not available online.

The great thing about it is that everybody has access to it. Everybody can use it. It is just a matter of being open-minded and learning to use it to your advantage.

The most important sexual element available in the world is your own mind. You can create more excitement and fun, anticipation and pleasure by using the power of your own mind than any other thing you could ever come across.

Here is a Fun Strategy Proven to Work Wonders

Start in the morning, set a time for a “date” in the evening with your loved one. Both of you plan a time when you can get together and spend some quality time. And then go on with your day.

During the day, spend some time visualizing and anticipating your date. It is really nice when you can include the other person. If you are around your loved one, you can do little things to include them in your fantasy, a kiss on the neck, a loving touch in the right places, some passionate kisses can all increase your level of anticipation. And that is what you are trying to do, get your mind going with an excited level of anticipation for your “date”.

If you are not with your partner during the day, you can still participate in this type of foreplay, you will just have to be more creative.

How do you normally communicate with your loved one?

Text messages are great for sending just a little note to tell your partner how much you are looking forward to being with them and spending some quality time on loving. You can also use some of the more old-fashioned modes, sending a sweet love letter, or calling on the phone to say how much you love them and how excited you are for your date.

The point is to spend the entire day in anticipation and building up the excitement for your time together in the evening. Imagine and visualize the loving time together and appreciate and be grateful for the love and excitement you feel for this person that you love.

Some may say that this takes away from the spontaneity and excitement and of course there is always a place and a time for that kind of lovemaking. But for those couples who may feel that life is getting ahead of them and they are finding it difficult to get into that mode, your minds can work wonders for your sex-life.

Because like many things in life, The Joy is in the Journey.

Featured Author, Karen Lynch is a Law of Attraction and Personal Development Expert and founder of the empowering and inspiring website www.livethepower.com. You can read more of her inspirational and motivational writings at the Live the Power blog at http://www.livethepower.com/blog

5 Wicked Ways to Get Kinky in the Kitchen

Rose Rivera — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 17:02:28 +0000

It’s no surprise to learn one of the sexiest places in a house is the kitchen; the delicious smells, the beautiful colors, the way everything simmers together, tempting our senses into complete and utter abandon…

Unfortunately most of us never get the opportunity to fully explore all of the hidden erotic treasures patiently awaiting us in our kitchen drawers because we’re too busy reheating yesterday’s pizza to actually spend three savory hours indulging in our sensual creativity.

So here’s my suggestion – make a little cooking date with your lover on a Saturday, or a Sunday, or whenever. Treat it just as you would any other date, give the children to their grandparents, get a babysitter, etc. Make sure the two of you have plenty of time to relax and to really "get into" whatever happens to come up.

Go through your cupboards, your refrigerator, and your pantry with kinky eyes.

Ask yourself questions like "how would that feel running up my spine?" or "how else could this fork be used?"

Before you know it everything will seem wonderfully tempting, and you’ll be well on your way to making steamy memories that will no doubt have you blushing the next time you stick that boring old pizza into the oven.

If, however, you still need a bit of inspiration to get your naughty juices flowing, keep reading.

Five Very Wicked Ways To Turn Your Ordinary Kitchen Accoutrements Into Brazenly Devilish Sex Toys

1. The Spanking Wooden Spoon – Near and dear to my own playful heart, I get a fluttery feeling every time I use one of these classic, extra-large wooden stirring spoons. For the edgy players among you, using a spoon for spanking purposes is not a very shocking idea.

After all, whenever a paddle’s not handy, a wooden spoon will always do the trick! It’s sturdy, fairly wide, and gives that yummy mix of sting and thud. Oh come on, be daring and give your partner a soft teasing whack – their reaction might surprise you!

2. Chip Clip Nipple Clamps – Warning, not for the faint of heart. I’m a little hesitant to make this suggestion because it has to be the right kind of chip clip – you should only use ones that are flat on the inside, NOT the kind with little teeth or jagged edges meant to hold the bag closed tighter! Although impromptu nipple (or other body part) clamps are a fun idea, remember how easily this skin can be damaged and use your common sense. Smaller clips have less power so are better suited for this pain/pleasure toy. And don’t forget to sooth those fire-hot nipples afterward with a little melting ice from the freezer…