Ask Dan and Jennifer » sex tip

Can Masturbation Help Prevent Getting Erections At The Wrong Time? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:28:32 +0000

It’s every guy’s worst nightmare – having an erection at the wrong time, whether you’re in class, at the office or on a casual date with a girl you really like.

Having an erection at the wrong time can be embarrassing and it can be even more embarrassing and frustrating trying to hide it. Can masturbating often or at the right times help prevent unwanted erections?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do you know if it is a common occurrence for a guy to masturbate not so much for the direct pleasure (although it is nice) but to not have any "urges"? I often masturbate so I won’t get them at the "wrong" times. Is that a common occurrence?

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Erections are a natural thing!

An erection for a man is his body’s way of letting him know that there’s tension there,sexual or not, that needs to be relieved. It signals arousal but there are times where a man can get an erection and he’s not thinking about sex nor is he aroused at all.

An erection is simply when extra blood flows to the penis, making it stiffer instead of more relaxed. This can happen often and it is known for happening at some of the most inopportune times.

Masturbating to relieve tension.

Almost every man (if not every man) masturbates at some time or another. Many men masturbate often, especially if they’re not sexually active, while some masturbate less.

However often a man needs to masturbate is generally considered healthy, with the exception of often forgoing sexual intercourse with your partner in lieu of masturbation or masturbating to the point of physical harm.

Masturbating helps to relieve tension and yes, it can help to prevent erections at the wrong time.

When to masturbate?

Many men masturbate in the mornings before a day at the office so they can put the focus on their work, while others prefer to masturbate less often. If you want to use masturbation as a means to prevent unwanted erections, try going without masturbation for a few days and note when your erections seem to happen.

Do they happen at a certain time or when you see a certain person? Learn your triggers. There may be more than a few and sometimes it can be hard to figure out what the triggers are, but it’s helpful to have at least a little background knowledge on when you seem to get unwanted erections before you use masturbation as a tool to prevent them.

Use your triggers to prevent unwanted erections.

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Going Solo… Self Empowerment Through Masturbation

Maya Silverman — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 19:03:54 +0000

The dirty word of the sexual world, masturbation conjures up images of old men, nuns, and cucumbers. But much like reality TV, we all indulge in it, but no one likes to admit how much they enjoy it,

People often assume that Tantra, Tantric Sex, Erotic and Sensual Massage all require a partner.

A partner is good, however anyone can reap the benefits, and by going solo you are in a unique position to really explore yourself, discover what turns you on , and to nurture yourself in any way that your mind, body and soul desire.

So dim the lights, put on the music, get the oils out, and give yourself a hand. It’s time to celebrate a bit of quality ME time:

Masturbation and Empowerment

For the ladies out there – the majority of women self-love lying down on their backs, however why not add some variety and intrigue ? Stand up, do it before a luxurious candle lit bath, out doors (if you have privacy), any place that feels harmonious, relaxed and safe.

Create a sensual and inviting mood. You are loving yourself so don’t hold back on preparation. You are taking the time to honor yourself and this takes as much time, preparation and focus as if with a lover.

Let Go of Old Limiting Beliefs

Some women aren’t comfortable touching and pleasing themselves and the thought of self loving creates resistance. Why not let go your old beliefs, pain, and frustration. Use this time to honor your self, your femininity, your body. Give yourself all the love, attention and pleasure that you really want.

Put on some comfortable yet inviting clothing, breathe deeply and slowly to relax your mind and body. A more relaxed mind and body equals stronger more pleasurable and intense orgasms. So always take the time to unwind, de-stress and shut out the world.

Tease, Explore and Arouse

Tease, explore and gently arouse and awaken your female goddess by touching and stroking your body avoiding the intimate areas for at least 20–30 minutes. Stroke your legs, inner thighs, hands, feet, lightly brush over your breasts. Feel your sexual energy pulsating throughout your whole body, increasing in intensity the more attention and focus you lavish on your self.

When you feel your whole body tingling, apply soft sensual touchs to the breasts, gently stoke your yoni, lips, clitoris (but don’t apply to much pressure directly on the head at this point). Explore how each area feels to your touch, explore the texture and sensations of each area, gently insert one finger into the yoni, about 2 inches within, and move in and out.

Finding Your G-Spot

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eXtreme Sex Ed: Help! I Feel Like A Spectator During Sex! (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:12:37 +0000

If you’re new at sex or are just new to your partner, it might be difficult for you to get "into" your partner.

Things might seem awkward at first and it can be frustration to experience sexual intimacy with your partner without being really "into" it. How can you get more into your partner and more into sex with them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I want to tell my bf what I like in bed, but I don’t know how, because I don’t masturbate? (That’s right! – remember from before Scarlett is a pastor’s kid…) I feel like a spectator during sex. I find it hard to relax and I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. Please help.

–Scarlett, NJ

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Finding Out What You Want

For you to get "into" sex, it’s important for you to experiment with what turns you on. If you don’t know what turns you on and what gets you excited, it’s hard not to feel like a spectator when you’re actually doing the deed. How do you do that? One of the greatest ways to experiment with what you like is to masturbate.

Use your hands, a detachable shower head or even toys to find out what feels the best. You can masturbate with your partner if you prefer, or you can masturbate alone to really try new things and find out what really gets you going.

It’s difficult to get into sex and share with your partner what you like without first knowing yourself.

Get Into The Game

One of the best ways to find out what you like during sex and really get into it is to just dive in and do it! Spend time experimenting with different techniques, including genital massage, oral sex and sexual intercourse.

You might like simultaneous oral sex or you might really enjoy your partner using their hands on you.

You’ll never know though if you don’t try! Have sex with your partner and make mental notes of what you don’t like and what you really don’t want to try again. Next time, try something new.

Continue to do this until you find a few things that you really enjoy doing with your partner. Make a mental note of these and when you’re feeling turned on, you and your partner can use these things to get you really excited and into it.

Make sure both partners get equal satisfaction. It’s easy for a woman to feel like a spectator during sex if the focus is on the man. Share each other equally and take turns pleasuring each other until you build up to an amazing climax!

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Sexual Penetration And What It REALLY Means…

Wendy Strgar — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 15:35:00 +0000

Language is the metaphor we use to communicate our deepest feelings. A couple’s sexuality is the most profound vehicle of communication available. The words we use and our physical language of love define our love experience.

What is penetration really?

Penetration is the word often used to describe the culminating act of sex. It’s a word I often use when describing the best use of a good lubricant. But it was just this week, after using the word in conjunction with the act, that I wondered what I was saying.

The verb to penetrate has six different definitions in the dictionary and as in the power of any metaphor, the meaning one attaches to the term may deeply influence our relationship to the act.

To Penetrate or Not to Penetrate

A lesbian friend of mine once told me that it is not uncommon for many of her friends to maintain a no penetration relationship, and among my heterosexual friends, it is not a small minority who avoid penetration with their spouses.

I never asked them but I wonder if, for them, the meaning of penetration feels like this definition of a military force entering into enemy territory or the depth of a projectile into a target. Certainly the idea of women as targets for men is rampant and so the need to protect oneself is also deeply held.

To penetrate also means to have an effect throughout, spread through; permeate, move deeply, or imbue.

Penetration Potential

Applied again as a metaphor for sexuality this penetration is an act that transforms, that has the potential of changing everything. This sexual act can have the force of inspiration, the possibility of being completely saturated with love.

The act of penetration is a force of nature that is loaded with meaning and mystery. Not surprisingly, to penetrate also means to gain insight and to have a marked effect on the mind and emotions.

The Language of Sexuality

Our language about our sexuality is as layered as the act itself, and knowing what you mean when you speak about love and sex can only be helpful.

Sexuality is a metaphor for many things in life. Those things that we share in our sexual encounters, like language, attitudes and openness with one another, have a long reach into the depth and closeness of our day-to-day relationships.

Thinking of your relationship as penetration is the word, the idea and the act. Penetration means all of these things all at once.

But if I were to make a leap, in the name of making love sustainable, it would be that couples who build a strong and consensual relationship with the meaning and act of penetration are much more likely to have a strong and consensual relationship to each other.

To learn more about Wendy Strgar, visit www.GoodCleanLove.com.