Ask Dan and Jennifer » sex with wife

The Secrets Of True Sexual Confidence (Video)

Melody Brooke — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 14:00:58 +0000

Sexual confidence – or confidence at all, really – is a touchy subject. A lot of people believe they’re sexually confident, but inside they’re incredibly insecure, waiting for someone else validate their standing as a sexual human being. Most women know they’re insecure, but still try to hide it. How do we become truly sexually confident, accepting ourselves for who we are and the sexual human being we are?

Watch this video to find out what TRUE sexual confidence really is…. It’s not what you think! Visit our YouTube page and tell us what you think true sexual confidence is!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Social Influences

Believe it or not, society dictates how we feel about ourselves. Should it be that way? No. Is it that way? Unfortunately, yes. The images in the media, in magazines and in commercials teach us what “sexy” and “beautiful” are and if we don’t look, act or talk in the way that the media depicts as “sexy” and “beautiful,” then we aren’t either. Unfortunately, society’s ideas about what sexy and beautiful are happen to be incredibly narrow. And even more unfortunately, we use this as a standard against which to judge ourselves.

Acceptance From Others

In addition to using society’s ideas of what sexy and beautiful are to measure ourselves, we also wait for someone else to accept us (usually our partners) before we accept and love ourselves. This is incredibly backwards, because often in a relationship, you must love and accept yourself before someone else can fully love and accept you and you can fully love and accept someone else. Looking at yourself through society’s eyes and through your partner’s eyes won’t get you far – instead, you need to look at yourself with your own eyes and find the love and beauty within.

Being Sexually Confident

If you’ve taken a step to love and accept yourself before expecting anyone else to love and accept you, congratulations. But it’s likely that other people in your life are still looking for your acceptance of them before they start loving and accepting themselves. Are you giving your partner the love and acceptance they want and need? If not, start! Talk to your partner about where you’re at in the relationship, and what you need to be in the relationship. Have open and honest communication with your partner of where you stand, so you can be loved and accepted for who you are.

It takes a lot to shed the human need to be validated by society, but it’s something each and every one of us must do in order to start seeing ourselves in a realistic light. Society’s ideas about what is beautiful and sexy are skewed, and we need to learn to see ourselves as sexy and beautiful for who we are – because sexy is who you are. Make that scary jump right now and decide that you’re not going to be worried about whether society says you’re too fat or too thin, not pretty enough or not sexy enough. Accept yourself for who you are and learn to be sexy in your own skin. Love and accept yourself before expecting anyone else to love and accept you, and you’ll feel, look and be sexually confident.

Why Have I Lost All Interest In Having Sex? (Video)

Melody Brooke — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 21:11:38 +0000

Losing interest in sex when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, and even if you haven’t, can be frustrating and even embarrassing. You want to experience your partner intimately and of course, your partner does too!

If you’ve lost interest in sex, how can you find out what is behind it? What can you and your partner do?

Why am I no longer interested in having sex with my husband?

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Physical Reasons

There are a multitude of reasons that a woman, or a man, can lose interest in having sex with their partner. The first issue to explore is if there’s a physical reason for this.

For example, if a woman’s testosterone level is low, she may lose interest in sexual activity. The first thing you’ll want to do if you’ve stopped finding sex enjoyable is to check with your doctor.

Emotional Reasons

Many women and men suffer physical, emotional and sexual abuse as children and even as adults. Even if these issues are past, they can affect how you feel about sex and intimacy in the here and now.

You might not even realize it! If you’ve suffered any kind of abuse and you think it’s possible that the emotional after effects of it could be affecting your relationship and your sex life, it’s time to bring in a professional.

Talk to a therapist or a counselor. They can definitely give you the tools you need to push past these emotional issues and get your sex life back on track.

Life Balance

In today’s busy world, it’s common for both men and women to get up at five or six in the morning to get the kids ready for school and go to work, and not hit the sack until it’s 11:00 or 12:00 at night. That’s quite a long day!

It’s really no surprise that by the time you and your partner crawl into bed after a hard, busy day that you would have no interest in sex. Work on your life balance and find ways to rest and relax so you can recharge your batteries.

Get a little more sleep and maybe give up an activity or two that isn’t necessary. Work together with your partner to make these changes so that you both have the energy to experience each other sexually.

Discord With Your Partner

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eXtreme Sex Ed: How Do I Talk To My Husband About Sex? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 01:42:27 +0000

When learning about your partner’s body and your own body and how they work together during sexual intercourse or other sexual activity, you might run into a few roadblocks along the way.

You might find it difficult to bring up the subject of how you like a certain thing or what feels good and what doesn’t.

How can you talk to your partner and help them to learn what you like and don’t like in bed?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Sometimes I feel like my husband doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. I find it hard to talk to him about this stuff, the sex and things like condoms and lube, how do I talk to him?

– Scarlett, NJ

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Learn yourself first.

The first step to being able to tell your partner where to go when pleasuring you is to first learn where you’re going. This often happens during masturbation. Learn what spots are sensitive and how you like to be touched, as well as what doesn’t work for you. Once you’re comfortable with your own body, you can help your partner learn where to go.

The Fragile Male Ego

Telling your partner how you like to be touched sexually, especially if he’s not doing it that way, can be intimidating and rightly so. Men have fragile egos that are easily damaged, especially when it comes to their sexual skills.

Trying to talk to your partner about these things can easily cause the words to die right in your throat, getting you nowhere, because you’re afraid to hurt his feelings. It’s good to be a little scared, because you can hurt your partner’s feelings if you want to tell him that you like to be touched in a way that he’s not touching you.

You can easily make him feel inadequate or even useless in the bedroom. Does that mean you have to shy away from the conversation at all and stop enjoying sex with your partner just to save his feelings? No! It’s all in how you go about it.

Don’t Criticize

Being critical when making suggestions about your partner’s sexual performance is the number one thing that will upset him and bruise his ego. It’s very important not to be critical at all, instead, be supportive.

Don’t tell your partner what he’s doing wrong, suggest to him something else to do instead. When he does hit the right spot, make sure he knows it! Be vocal, thank him and definitely return the favor. Many women make the mistake of never changing their vocal suggestions or their body language, regardless of what feels good and what doesn’t.

Give your partner a chance to learn what you like and what you don’t based on your reactions.He will learn to tell the difference between a mild "ooh" and an "OOOH!" He’ll want to continue doing the things that elicit the most reaction from you, and you’ll want him to!

Make it Fun

If you want to talk to your partner about toys, lubes and other things related to sex but are afraid to, make it a little bit fun. Go shopping for these things together, or browse them online from the comfort of your home.

Point out things that you like and ask him to show you what he likes. You can learn a lot from each other this way! Combine that with positive suggestions on which of his moves feel good and which don’t and you’ll both soon be rocking each other’s world!

Is It Safe To Have Sex While My Wife Is Pregnant? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:58:00 +0000

Today’s emphasis on the health of pregnant women can have men wondering if having sex with a woman during her pregnancy is healthy and safe for both the mom and the child.

Fortunately, men will be happy to hear that the only ban on sex is after the baby is born. There are, however, some considerations to take when engaging your pregnant lady in sex – just out of courtesy.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

If my wife is pregnant is it still ok to have sex? because me and my wife are thinking about having a baby and when she’s pregnant I don’t want to miss out on sex for several months. I hope you answer my question in one of your videos.

Thanks.

— Pascal, Canada

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Yes, It’s Safe

Your doctor will tell you if your baby is healthy and if the pregnancy is progressing normally. If your doctor confirms a healthy pregnancy, there is no harm whatsoever in having sex with your partner during her pregnancy.

Most doctors will put a ban on sex for a short time after the baby is born, but during a normal pregnancy, there is nothing to worry about when having sex with your partner. That doesn’t mean, however, that your partner will always feel like having sex.

When She Doesn’t Feel Like It

Even a normal, healthy pregnancy is tough on a woman’s body and emotions. Sometimes it’s difficult for the body to produce the hormones necessary for arousal when it’s regulating both the health of the mother and the baby.

A mom has to produce more blood and even grow a new organ along with the baby when she’s pregnant and with all that going on, she might not feel up to having sex. The second trimester is reportedly better for the sex drive when the morning sickness goes away and before she gets uncomfortably big, but it’s not foolproof.

If your partner doesn’t feel like having sex, don’t hold it against her! Do something else that is intimate instead, such as rubbing her belly or her feet or just cuddling on the couch.

When She Does Feel Like It

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Why Couples Don’t Have Great Sex…

Lee Jenkins, author Female Orgasm Black Book — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:20:38 +0000

Sex (especially great sex) is an important piece of a successful romantic relationship. If you’re having amazing sex already, this probably won’t apply to you. But if you’re experience lack-luster sex on a regular basis, I suggest you read on.

Do you know why the majority of couples do not have great sex?

It simply boils down to one mistake.

The number one mistake couples make in the bedroom is…simply not knowing what to do.

That’s right, “Ignorance”.

And let me tell you…

Ignorance is NOT bliss in the bedroom!

What Wise Men Have To Say

Don’t think female orgasm ignorance can harm you? Well, consider the following quotes:

“Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil.”
– Plato (427 BC – 347 BC)

Cheating can be a result of ignorance on how to give women orgasms.

“It is worse still to be ignorant of your ignorance.”
– Saint Jerome (374 AD – 419 AD)

If you don’t know that you lack the knowledge to give women orgasms, then how can you fix it? Also, she might be faking orgasms on you.

“Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.”
– John Tillotson (1630 – 1694)

…and the ruin of a relationship.

What Sexual Ignorance Means To You

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How To Be A Good, Responsible Dad And Still Have Great Sex With Your Wife (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:02:59 +0000

Can you really be a good husband AND a great lover?

Remember that she was your wife before she was ‘mom’.

Married couples and especially new parents often forget this very important fact. You were couple before you were parents.

Your biggest responsibility as parents is to love your children and provide a stable home.

You can’t do that if you’re divorced.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My wife and I have been married for 7 years, we have a four year old son and 2 year old twins.

Money is kind of an issue, due to the fact that we are a single income family and I work nights.

How can I be romantic and achieve a romantic sex life, but not neglect our kids and responsibilities as parents?

Thanks Greatly.

– Steven, Missouri

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Make Time For Your Relationship First

I know you’re exhausted. I know you’re tired. You’ve had a really long day.

But it’s critical to your relationship whether it’s two weeks older 20 years old, to make time for one another and to nurture your relationship. Schedule some time to just be together, whether its first thing in the morning, a nice lunch, or some quite couple time before you drift off to sleep, couple time is very important.

It doesn’t make you bad parents if you get a babysitter once a week so that you and your partner can go out on a nice, intimate, romantic date. As a matter of fact, it may even make you better parents. Parents who actually stay together. Parents who are able to give fully to their children because they feel nurtured and loved as an individual.

Teach your children now what it means to be a well balanced individual. Don’t let them grow up thinking that they have to sacrifice everything to become parents. Just because that’s what your parents may have done, does not mean that’s what you have to do.

Also, don’t forget…

Does Wanting to See My Wife Have Sex With Another Man Make Me Gay? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:35:58 +0000

One of the most popular fantasies out there is the idea of the threesome…

Most men love the idea of seeing their woman have sex with another woman while they watch, or the idea of having two women have sex with him at the same time.

But threesome fantasies don’t stop there…

There are also men out there, who love the idea of watching their woman have sex with another man.

Here’s an interesting question. If a man enjoys the idea of watching his woman have sex with another man, does this make him gay?

Here’s a question from Michael whose fantasies have him wondering about his sexuality.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I have talked jokingly about threesomes in the past. But recently she’s been bringing up the idea more often. I’m worried about what she would want afterwards like if she’d wanna bring home a guy. I don’t know how to respond…

I have entertained the thought of watching her have sex with another man while I watch. Would that make me gay to enjoy watching it? Also, I had more homo erotic thoughts but haven’t gotten hard around a guy that’s straight.

Am I just curious, confused or bi?

— Michael, Massachusetts

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Does This Mean I’m Gay?

We’re all sexual beings. We all have a unique ideas and fantasies, things that turn us on. Don’t get stuck on labels and just consider yourself ‘sexual’. It’s very common, and very exciting for most men, to think of their girlfriend as bi-curious, but most men get a little nervous when they think of a bi-curious boy.

But on that topic… We ran an online dating site for over three years and were very surprised by the large number of bisexual or bi-curious men. It’s not as uncommon as you might like to think.

There’s nothing wrong with being bi-curious, bisexual, or gay. That’s just your sexual preference. The sooner you get in touch with your own sexual preferences and desires, the happier and more fulfilled your sex life will be.

On The Topic Of Threesomes

So the idea of watching your partner with another man or woman that you really excited – and you have talked to one another enough to know that it gets your partner excited as well…

Here three tips to help make your first threesome more successful:

1. Talk About It

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Danger! Is Too Much Sex With Your Wife Bad for Your Health? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 16:24:32 +0000

Having hot, passionate sex with someone you love is a wonderful experience, certainly more fulfilling than sex with someone you barely know.

And having lots of sex and erotic adventures with your partner is usually a really good thing. But how much is too much?

Here’s a question from a man in India, who’s happy to be having a lot of sex with his own wife. But he’s worried what might happen if they have TOO MUCH sex!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

How much sex can I have in a month with my wife? If I have more, will it be bad for my health?

– Sorri, India

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget to Give this video 5 stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you can stay up to date with all our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Is Too Much Sex Bad for Your Health?

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