You start ripping each other’s clothes off and proceed to the bedroom. Once you get there, somebody steps on a gadget left on the floor causing pain.

You move on but the open window is bringing in all the noise from outside and a strange smell from the nearby garbage dump. You both still try to proceed with sex but the bed hasn’t actually been made that morning and it’s smelling a bit in addition to having cookie crumbs all over it.

You both decide to try again… sometime.

What a bummer! If only you had time to prepare your bedroom for lovemaking! Well read on, following are tips that are GUARANTEED to up sexual desire in your bedroom.

How to Make Your Bedroom Hot, Sexy and Ready for Love… Anytime!

Lighting is everything.

Bright yellow lights or glaring white fluorescent lights contribute nothing to sexual desire in the bedroom. What you need are room lights that can be dimmed or a simple bedside lamp that can be dimmed. Better yet, go for scented candles ready for lighting at a moment’s notice!

Music – and Love – is in the air.

You must have some form of music player in your room right? Make sure that you have a couple of tracks that simply shout LOVE in the air. A couple of Barry White (Michael Buble for the younger crowd) CD’s never hurt. It really depends on what you and she are into in terms of music genres. Some couples like opera music (you know, the crescendos make great backdrops to orgasms!), while other’s prefer a 1980s collection of love songs.

The smell of love…

At this point, we’ll go a bit beyond the scented candles and/or burning scented oils. Try to ‘train’ her to associate a certain smell with lovemaking. The trick here is to condition her brain to think of sex every time she smells a particular smell.

For example, on the first night you plan to engage in foreplay, give her a bunch of red roses (or any flower you know she likes). This way, she thinks of making out every time she smells red roses.

Now, on the first night you plan to engage in sex, make sure red rose petals are scattered on the bed or a fresh bouquet of red roses is in the bedroom. Again, the goal is to make her ALWAYS associate a specific scent to you and your lovemaking sessions!

Action speaks louder than words.

Keep in mind that no trick beats a previously sexually pleasurable or great experience with you. Say that you guys made love a week ago at some other location and you saw to it that she climaxed BEFORE you did, she’ll remember this and you can be sure that this time – in your own bedroom – she’ll be showing you just how grateful she is!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

Related articles:

1. 5 Ways to Turn Your Bedroom Into a Sex Magnet
2. Are You Committing These 4 Bedroom Mistakes?
3. Great Sex Begins With A Sensual Massage
4. Are You Dom or Sub? Sexual Compatibility in the Bedroom
5. Erotic Massage: How Erotic Touch Can Turn Up the Heat in Your Bedroom

Huh? Yes, there are many people out there, mostly women, who are afraid of sex. The slightest mention of sex can completely lock them up and bring them to tears.

Here’s a desperate cry for help from a lady in the U.K. facing the dire prospect of losing her husband…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am a 24 year old woman, 8 months pregnant, and don’t enjoy sex at all. It all started when I was about 18/19. I had my first real love and it was brill.

The only problem that I had was that I didn’t like to have sex or even talk about it. The thought of it makes my whole body tense up. I’m with a loving partner now who I have been with for 2 years. We have sex occasionally, twice to maybe three times a month. I’m really worried because I can’t satisfy him. I would love to, but even talking about it now I feel like I want to cry.

He has suggested some things like games / watching videos / role play, but I can’t do it because I feel embarrassed. He sometimes shouts at me because he gets sexually frustrated, and says that he might even stray if I gave him permission. I really need some advice, as I feel I might lose him. Please help.

– Emma, United Kingdom

Click here to view the embedded video.

Why Are You Afraid of Sex?

This could happen for many reasons including childhood abuse, parents who had issues around sex, an extremely religious upbringing, and many other reasons. And before anyone accuses us of religious bashing, we’re not talking about all religions or all religious followers, only the extreme, pathological cases.

The point here is that there are many reasons that someone could reach adulthood and literally be afraid of sex.

So what do you do when you are this person, and you’re in a wonderful relationship? Just imagine the self-doubt and worry that you would feel – wanting to please your partner but being completely unable to do so…

Here are a few suggestions on how to overcome these fears.

Educate Yourself on Your Body and Sexuality

Educate yourself about your body, sexuality, and the emotions around sex. Read books, go to seminars, look online – whatever you have to do to truly understand your body and sex.

This may seem unrelated, but I had an incredible fear of spiders, especially wolf spiders. They seemed to be everywhere. Until… One day I went to the Science Museum with my 7 year old daughter and they just happened to be doing a feature on spiders. I learned so much that day and with this new knowledge my fear of spiders was erased. I now politely help them back outside when they come in the house, rather than splattering them into oblivion.

Knowledge is power and with knowledge comes acceptance.

Where are these feelings of fear coming from? It’s absolutely crucial for you to find the origin of these feelings and deal with them. Whether it’s childhood abuse or being raised by parents who genuinely believe sex is evil, the most important thing you can do is understand where this fear is really coming from.

Only then can you deal with those emotions, accept yourself, be at peace, and move on with your life – free of this restraint.

See a Traditional Therapist

A good therapist working closely with you should be able to help you find the underlying source, or at least to get an idea where to look. When seeking a therapist, be aware of… any biases they may have. Every human being has biases, and it’s important to always understand the bias of someone you’re dealing with.

Consult a Clinical Hypnotherapist

Hypnotherapy is a little on the fringe and “out there” for many people, but it can definitely work wonders. It certainly has for us. What we really like about hypnotherapy, is that you can often find the root of a problem in just a few sessions, as opposed to visiting a traditional therapist for months on end.

Since hypnotherapy is not mainstream enough that you can go to a hospital and get treatment, be sure to see someone who’s had some verifiable training and is a certified clinical hypnotherapist. And no, you can’t be hypnotized into doing anything you wouldn’t be open to doing anyway, that’s just in the movies. What a hypnotherapist will do is help you achieve a very relaxed state so that you will be more comfortable dealing with some of your more deep seated issues. But if it makes you feel better, you can take a trusted friend or relative with you (as I did).

Certainly both therapist and hypnotherapists have their place and benefits, but our focus here is discovering the core underlying issue quickly. Then you can visit a traditional therapist to deal with your emotions as they come up over the long term.

Try some emotional clearing to find the source yourself.

It’s hard for us to find the root of our own faults because we shield ourselves from harm or pain. Our minds easily avoid the real reasons for our problems unless we make a truly focused effort, and even then it’s very hard to come up with anything useful – unless you seek help from an unbiased external source.

A really great book to read on this is “Feelings Buried Alive Never Die” by Carol Truman. It’s an easy read, but it should help you find and heal the real buried feelings and emotions behind the problems you’re experiencing.

Ultimately, your best bet if you really WANT to get this resolved is to go through all 3 of these approaches, and then really focus on the one that is working best for you.

Can you overcome your FEAR of sex before it’s too late and you lose your husband to another woman?

This is hard to say… It depends on your husband, or boyfriend, and the strength of your relationship. Remember, love is not sex and sex is not love. Don’t focus on what you might lose. It’s more important to focus on getting help for yourself first. Only then will you truly be able enjoy a sexual relationship with another person.

Related articles:

1. It’s OK to Trust: How You Can Overcome The Fear of Intimacy
2. What Causes Irrational Fear Of Sex? (Video)
3. How Can I Give My Girlfriend An Orgasm? (Video)
4. How To Be More Attractive & Less Needy By Releasing The Fear Of Being Alone Today
5. Female Orgasm and Oral Sex? What’s a Girlfriend to do? (Video)