Ask Dan and Jennifer » sexual fantasies

How Do I Tell My Girlfriend About My Foot Fetish?

Kendall Ashley — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:00:55 +0000

A foot fetish is one of the most common fetishes in the sexual realm. Foot fetishes are usually the worship or obsession with female feet. If you want to tell your girlfriend about it, you are probably nervous about how she will take it.

It’s important to remember that every guy and girl has a fetish of something to some degree. Whether they have a thing for being dominated, oral sex or a specific body part, a fetish is just an admiration. Some guys are into breasts while others love a nice pair of legs on a girl.

An admiration for feet is not that out there and you shouldn’t be embarrassed by it. If you are still worried about telling your girlfriend about your foot fetish, there are a few things that you can do to make the situation more comfortable.

Don’t Go All In

Chances are you have already had sex with your girlfriend. During sex you have probably abstained from licking or sucking on her feet. If you have licked or sucked on her feet or toes and she has not mentioned it making her uncomfortable then half the battle is already won.

If you have not done anything to her feet then you are starting at square one. Have a healthy respect for your partner and do not try anything that is going to make her uncomfortable before you get a chance to talk to her about it.

This is pretty universal for any fetish, but it’s essential for a foot fetish. Many people find feet disgusting and this could be a huge turn off if implemented without explaining yourself first.

Don’t Be Afraid Of The Consequences

This is easier said than done, but you shouldn’t be afraid of any possible rejection. Sex is an important part of every relationship and if you are with somebody that isn’t going to accommodate you in the bedroom then they are probably not right for you.

When your girlfriend entertains your fetish she shows that she really does care about you. She should not be judgmental about your fetish as she probably has something that she’s into also. You want to be with somebody that you can express yourself openly with.

A girlfriend who is judgmental and doesn’t try to understand your foot fetish will be a lifelong hang up that you will regret. It is not uncommon and you should not feel like you’re going to be excommunicated from society after telling her about it.

Remember Her Needs

Comfort is an essential part of every relationship. When you are telling her about your likes, it’s important to realize her needs also. If she is going to entertain your foot fetish then there is probably something that you can do for her. A trade off in the bedroom is always nice because each partner gets what he or she wants. If she is going to let you worship her feet then you should be just accommodating to something that she needs.

Telling Her

Don’t tell her about it over dinner or just before you’re having sex. Arrange a time when neither of you are busy and sit her down. Just say, there’s something that I want to talk about with you. Once she is comfortable, tell her outright. Don’t beat around the bush.

Come right out and tell her in easy to understand terms. You don’t want to be explicit when you’re telling her about your foot fetish, but you want her to understand that this is an important part of your sexually and you want to implement it into your sex life. Ask her if she is comfortable enough with it and what she will not be comfortable with. The key is to get her talking honestly about the situation.

The Benefits

The benefits of talking to your partner about your foot fetish are immense. Putting that feeling in your stomach to rest and having a healthy relationship with somebody that you love is essential. When you tell her about it, ask her about anything that you can do to make her happier with your sex life.

More than likely there is something that you can do to turn her on in the bedroom. Communication is the key to any relationship. When there is no communication, secrets and resentment can set in. Talk to your girlfriend about your it. A relationship without proper communication cannot be successful so be as upfront and honest with her as possible.

When Is Your Kink Really A Fetish?

Kendall Ashley — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 23:00:36 +0000

A kink is something someone really likes during sex – but what is a fetish, and how can you tell if your kink really is that or if it’s something more?

Who Wants A Boring Sex Life?

Nobody enjoys a boring a sex life. Having variety in the bedroom is a natural form of keeping things interesting. Doing missionary every time or knowing that somebody is going to have an orgasm right at five minutes thirty seconds into girl on top is not the most exciting way to go through life. In an effort to keep the monotony out of our sex lives we try new things.

We bring in sex toys, role-playing and other aspects of naughtiness to keep the spark. Kinkiness is essential for this, however, when does the kink turn into something more? The line between kink and fetish is kind of grey, but there are certain keys to finding out if you are just kinky or have an all out fetish. Here are the main differences between the two.

What Is Kinky?

The definition of kinky can vary from person to person depending on whom you talk to. Some people find that simply having a girl on top is kinky while others think of this as a standard sexual position. Some people will find using handcuffs in the bedroom is really kinky while others consider it a requirement. It’s not very easy to define kinky because so many people are beginning to take hold of their sexuality.

Normal loving sex with one woman and one man will usually involve the missionary position, eye contact and kissing. Many people find dirty talk to be extremely kinky. When you start talking about what kinky is it’s really up for personal interpretation. So if we don’t know what kinky is, how do we know what a fetish is? The fact of the matter is that defining this is actually much easier than defining what kinky is.

What Is A Fetish?

Defining this is actually fairly simple. This is basically when you derive sexual arousal from something that is not grouped into sexuality. For instance some people have a fetish for high heels. High heels are not directly attributed to sexuality, however, high heels are commonly referred to as sexy. High heels are a little bit different than a vibrator or a dildo.

Although a vibrator and a dildo can be seen as sexy, they are directly attributed to sexuality because they are used for giving sexual gratification. High heels are simply an accessory used to give a woman more height. While a lot of men find high heels to be an extreme turn on, most men would be able to get aroused without the presence of high heels. This takes us to our next key term in defining what this actually is.

Fixation Makes The Difference

One of the most important aspects of having a fetish is fixation. Fixation is the obsession with a characteristic, action or an inanimate object in a sexual nature. For instance, if we went back to the high heel example, this would involve a guy that could not get sexually aroused without the presence of high heels. This is much different than finding high heels extremely sexy. Wanting your girlfriend or wife to wear high heels in the bedroom once or twice is kinky, while needing your wife or girlfriend to wear high heels every time is considered a fetish.

This doesn’t have to work with objects though. You probably hear men say that they love “blondes.” If you have an affinity for blonds, but you would also date a brunette then you don’t have a fetish. If you your affinity for blondes was something more, you would not find any other color of hair acceptable or sexually desired. This can also be present in different actions.

For instance, to be fixated on voyeurism or exhibition would mean that you could not have an orgasm unless you were watching another couple having sex or unless another couple was watching you. Public sex, certain sexual positions and role-playing can also be a fetish, while doing them every once in a while is just kinky.

Affects It Can Have

A fetish can actually be a lot of fun, but there are certain ones that can be a problem for certain relationships. They can also be draining for the other person. Always having to wear high heels to give you an orgasm or acting out a certain scene cuts down on the spontaneity of the moment. Always remember that your likes and dislikes should be considered just as much as your partner’s needs. Never forget that a relationship works two ways and nobody can get their way all the time.

10 Things You DIDN’T Know About SEX!

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:00:02 +0000

Sex is pretty cut and dry, right? Wrong! There are tons of things about getting it on that you probably don’t know – are YOU savvy when it comes to sex – or not?

1. You And Your Partner Can Be A “Mismatch”

A penis doesn’t always fit into a vagina perfectly. Yes, they’re generally “made to fit together,” but that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes, a man can be much smaller than a woman, resulting in reduced pleasure for both of them because his penis is too small to stimulate the walls of his partner’s vagina.

Also, a man can be too large for a woman, resulting in pain or discomfort for her. A vagina is made to stretch, but there’s only so much length in there. A vagina will double in length when a woman is aroused (from about 4″ long to about 8″) but there are still some men who are substantially larger than this.

2. A Woman’s Orgasms Can (And Will) Outnumber A Man’s

It’s no secret that women can have multiple orgasms. But did you know that it’s possible for a girl to have a pretty much unlimited number of climaxes? That’s right. Most men have one and they’re extremely lucky to get two, but that’s pretty rare even for the pros.

However, a girl can climax again and again during sex, simply because she never goes all the way back down to square one after she reaches orgasm, unless she stops all pleasure completely and waits for her “oven to cool off,” so to speak. The female orgasm is similar to an oven, where it takes quite some time to warm up and reach temperature, but also a significant amount of time to cool down. While the oven is “hot,” she can climax over and over!

3. Confidence Will Make You Look Sexier

Confidence matters much, much more than what you look like or anything you wear. Both women and men become instantly more attractive when the show a good amount of confidence in themselves, because frankly, a low self esteem isn’t very becoming on anyone.

Forget about donning the lingerie for sex – just go in and strut your stuff. Care less about your cellulite or stray body hairs and care more about awesome foreplay and incredible orgasms. Have confidence in not only your hotness, but also your ability to please your partner and experience pleasure yourself.

4. Regular Sex Will Improve Your Immune System

During sex, our bodies release a antibody called immunoglobulin-A, which can help fight off illnesses like the flu or the common cold. Regular sex can produce quite a bit of this antibody, which can help you stay healthier during cold and flu season. Did you really need another reason to snuggle up when it’s cold outside and get it on?

5. Women Fall Asleep After Sex Too

That is, if the sex was any good. If a woman is really and truly satisfied after sex (after having one or more orgasms), then she’s going to be dog tired too. It’s true that men get the bad rap for falling asleep after sex when the girls just want to talk or cuddle, but if the nookie really was that stellar, both parties are going to be out like a light in minutes.

6. Sex Is Better In Long Term Relationships

While casual sex is fun in and of itself, sex can get REALLY hot in a long term relationship or a marriage. Sure, you’ve heard the opposite, that the desire begins to wane after you’ve been with someone for a significant period of time. This, however, isn’t always the case.

Sex in a long term relationship can be super hot if you make it that way! Monogamy tends to create a feeling of safety and comfort between two people, where new and exciting fantasies can be tried without the fear of judgement or criticism. Basically, you can start doing those things you always fantasized about, but would never tell someone you just met.

7. Orgasms Relieve Menstrual Cramps In Women

Most women don’t want to have sex on their periods, but it can actually be very beneficial if you can get over the “yuck” factor. Just lay a towel down and hop in the shower afterwards. Believe it or not, a good orgasm can produce enough endorphins to help relieve menstrual cramps better than over the counter pain medicine.

Also, during an orgasm, the uterus will contract, helping to shed more of the inner lining at once. Getting the lining out quicker, so to speak, will help your period become shorter and lighter in the coming days.

8. Medications Can Be Responsible For A Lowered Sex Drive

If you have experienced a dip in your sex drive (or your partner has), take a look at what’s inside your medicine cabinet. Anti-depressants and anti-psychotics are notorious for causing both men and women to desire sex less. Other medications for blood pressure, diabetes and more can cause a decreased libido as well. If you’re struggling with your sexual desire and you take any kind of medications, you may want to check with your doctor about a change in meds. Never switch medications or stop them without your doctor’s clearance first.

9. Men Only Ejaculate About A Teaspoon – But Girls Can Ejaculate Much More!

When a man ejaculates, it may seem like a lot of fluid is coming out because it comes out in so many spurts. However, a man really will only ejaculate about a teaspoon of semen, give or take a little. Women can ejaculate also, but they can ejaculate much, much more than just a teaspoon of fluid! It takes some practice and some women are never able to do it, but many girls can ejaculate LOTS of fluid during sex or masturbation. That’s why they call it “squirting!”

10. It’s Normal To Have “Strange” Sex Fantasies

If you think your sex fantasies are weird, or no one else has them and you’re just a freak, think again! There are SO many sexual fantasies out there in almost every flavor you can imagine (and some that would never cross your mind).

Rest assured that odds are, someone else out there likes what you like sexually, regardless of how strange it might seem. It’s also completely normal for odd sexual things to flit across your mind now and then, even if you would never, ever consider doing something like that in real life.

Top 10 Most Common Kinks & Fetishes

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 14:00:17 +0000

BDSM, kinks and fetishes are actually more prevalent than you may think. Check out the ten most popular kinks & fetishes!

Foot Fetish

People with a foot fetish get sexually aroused by women’s feet. A foot fetish and a shoe fetish are often mistaken for one another – people with a shoe fetish are sexually aroused by shoes and feet in them, but usually not by feet in general. Those with a foot fetish are the exact opposite – they are sexually aroused by feet, which may or may not include footwear. This could be in the form of just looking at feet, licking and sucking on them or involving them in sexual activity.

Role Playing

Tons of people enjoy role playing, whether they’re avid BDSM enthusiasts or couples that could be considered relatively “vanilla.” Role play is so much fun, because it allows you to experience different sexual fantasies without going too far outside your box (or outside your relationship). Some sex role play fantasies include:

Hot nurse (or doctor), ailing patient
Teacher, naughty student
Sexy cop, person getting arrested

Breasts

It’s no secret that a big number of guys have a breast fetish! Most guys absolutely love breasts and will watch porn that features women with large breasts or sexual acts taking place with breasts, and they’ll also pay special attention to their lover’s breasts during sex. Some guys will enjoy grossly enlarged breasts (we’re talking HUGE), while others just like ones that are pretty big. Men with breast fetishes may have a particular interest in nipples, but not all of them will.

Butts

It’s also not at all uncommon for some guys to be aroused by butts – especially the nice, large, round variety. Most guys with a special attraction towards butts are going to enjoy rear entry sex positions. They may also really like anal sex. Interestingly enough, there are many guys who are “butt guys” and many guys who are “breast” guys, but very few men (if any) are actually both.

Public Sex

People love the idea of having public sex. There’s just something about having sex around other people – who could possibly see you – that seriously gets people off! Some couples may role play the idea of having public sex – or choose to do it somewhere really discreet where it’s almost impossible to get caught – while others really will get it on out in the open, without regard to getting caught. For some, the idea of getting caught (and actually getting caught) is the biggest turn on of all.

Shoe Fetish

Again, a shoe fetish is a largely popular form of sexual gratification – but it is often mistaken for a foot fetish. A shoe fetish is going to be specifically centered around shoes (and sometimes feet in them). The shoes are almost always high heels, and often very “bondag-ey” looking. Fetish footwear often includes lots of straps, buckles and leather! Some shoe enthusiasts feel like the higher the heel, the better.

Piercings & Tattoos

People have long linked pain with pleasure, and many people will say that there’s a fine line between the two. It’s not hard to figure out that there’s a lot of people on this planet that enjoy not only getting piercings and tattoos, but being around other people that have them as well. However, did you know that a lot of people who enjoy piercings and tattoos get sexually aroused by them? They will be more inclined to have sex with someone that is pierced or tattooed than someone who isn’t, and may even be sexually aroused by the process of getting tattooed or pierced.

Domination & Submission

This is also one of the more popular forms of BDSM & fetishes, because so much fun can be had if you’re creative with domination and submission. Some people have a personality that leans more towards a dominant nature, while others will have a more submissive personality. This can work really well in couples, because dominant and submissive personalities will usually feed off each other.

Rough Sex

This goes back to pleasure being linked to pain. Many couples enjoy BDSM and rough sex, which may include:

Slapping
Spanking
Biting
Restraints
Hard and fast penetration that typically goes deeper than “normal”

Certain Fabrics

Believe it or not, it’s not at all uncommon for people to be aroused by the feel and texture of certain fabrics when they rub up against the skin. This can include:

Satin
Silk
Leather
Rubber
Velvet

People who are sexually aroused by different kinds of fabric will often have pajamas, lingerie or their sheets that are made of this particular fabric.

4 Red Hot Hotel Sex Fantasies That Will Re-Ignite Your Sex Life!

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 14:00:44 +0000

Hotel sex is always on fire! There’s just something about hotel sex that makes it hotter, naughtier and leaves you gasping for breath – a certain je ne sais quois. If sex with your lover has become boring and unfulfilling (for either of you), head to your nearest lodge to act out these incredibly juicy hotel sex fantasies tonight!

Honeymoon Sex

Imagine how great the sex was on your honeymoon. Wasn’t it fantastic? Re-create that by booking a room (preferably the honeymoon suite or similar) in a nice hotel in your town. Here are some great tips on how to bring the “honeymoon sex” fantasy alive.

Make sure the room has a Jacuzzi and have some nice bubble bath or salts on hand.
Have champagne and strawberries ready. Chill the champagne in a silver ice bucket. Sure, it seems cheesy and a little cliché, but this will really bring that “honeymoon romance” feeling out in you and your lover.
Engage in lots of foreplay. Take it slow and really savor the experience. Pretend you are on your honeymoon and it’s the first time you’ve had sex – enjoy every touch and every sensation.

Dirty, Raunchy Sex

For this hotel sex fantasy, you’re going to want to book a room in a seedier motel-style place. Of course, make sure it’s a fairly clean and safe facility (you don’t have to get that deep into the fantasy).

Dress for the occasion. Have your lover dress a little more provocatively than usual.
Book the room during the day and arrive separately. Make it feel a little more “naughty” by pretending you’re having an affair or that one partner is an “escort.”
You can really bring this fantasy to life by your attitude and with certain sex positions. Feel free to be a little rougher during sex, or to use the doggy style sex position.

Business Meeting Sex

Hotel sex often happens when one partner is away on business – and unfortunately, this often happens as affairs. Still, the sex is almost always incredibly intense! Forget the affair and re-enact this type of hotel sex with your partner. Here’s how:

Guys, you’re going to want to head to the hotel first, perhaps after dinner. If you can, try to plan it on a night where you actually have some kind of business engagement, such as a company party or dinner.
Ladies, you will arrive later, perhaps after a naughty phone call or a dirty text.
Draw the blinds. Make it seem as though you’re not supposed to be seen doing what you’re doing!
Ladies, if your men travel a lot for work, think about a way to surprise him at the hotel he’s staying at. It may or may not be possible, but if it is, you could surprise him when he finally heads back to his hotel after his business meetings wearing something super sexy!

Hotel Maid Sex

Another way to have really hot hotel sex is to explore the “maid” sex fantasy. This is easy enough to do, but does require a maid costume of some kind if you really want it to be effective.

Call your partner for “maid service” after you’ve checked into the room. They have to be in on it though, or you might end up offending them!
Ladies, don the maid costume under a trench coat and head to the hotel room. Knock, knock. “Housekeeping!”
Play out your maid fantasies together, getting as involved as you want.
If you want to keep the role play going, let her leave before he does. The exhilaration of a naughty maid meet up can be super exciting for a woman, and letting her go home alone will give her time to reflect on how hot what happened was. Later, snuggle up to her in bed and kiss her sweetly, letting her know how great you thought it was and how much you love her (this also works really well with the dirty, raunchy sex fantasy).

Whatever it is that makes hotel sex so much better than regular sex at your house – whether it’s the excitement of doing it somewhere else or living out a business affair, prostitute or maid sex fantasy – try to harness that and use it to make the mood come alive. Let yourself go and really get into it. Don’t worry about what your partner will think – chances are, if you’re really into it and put some good effort in setting the stage and the mood, they’ll be responsive and get into it as much as you do. Relaxing and having fun are keys to making hotel sex fantasies work!

Free Report: 4 Sex Secrets To A TRULY Wild Sex Life

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 19:15:23 +0000

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Passionate, wild sex is possible and you can have it. You can literally have the sex life of your dreams!

There’s one thing you need to know before we get started. Women DO judge new lovers, and all of their friends will hear about you. (I know it sucks, but it’s completely true)

There is nothing that can ruin an amazing sexual experience more, than a guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing in the bedroom…

And no, it’s not just about giving her an orgasm; it’s about the entire experience, right from the very beginning. Hot women know that they have their pick of any guy they want. So if the entire sexual experience isn’t enjoyable, and doesn’t feel right, they are going to move on to the next guy, and you are going to be left at home with nothing more than your hand and some internet porn.

Sex Secret #1

Being a great lover in bed is NOT about Size, it’s about knowing how to use what you’ve got! Most guys think that the only way to pleasure a woman is with a big penis. This is totally and completely NOT TRUE!

If all a woman wanted was a huge penis, we’d all be racing to the sex shop to buy the largest toys they had. Being a great lover is about knowing how to tap in to what your partner really wants, and having the skills to give it to her.

Men are the same way… what feels better to you?

When a woman performs the same motion over and over with little to no variation?

Or when she is so in sync with you and what your body wants, that it feels like she’s in all the right places and exactly the right time?

Sex Secret #2

Women cannot orgasm if you can’t lead BOTH her body AND mind!

Women know that you judge how we look with our clothes off – but we judge A LOT more than just ‘that’ about you.

And guess what. We judge your sexual foreplay techniques more than anything else. Why? Because, it is absolutely vital to us, if we are going to get warmed up and relaxed enough to have an orgasm. Getting us warmed up properly involves knowing how to drive us wild with your words, your touches, your kisses and everything else that leads up to us taking our clothes coming off.

If you don’t know how to make a woman feel excited with your sexual intelligence, care, and mind-blowing sex techniques, then we will feel uncomfortable. And at that point, there is no chance we can orgasm.

Sex Secret #3

The #1 reason a woman will cheat is because you don’t satisfy her the right way in bed!

Women crave great sex (maybe even more than men). But without excitement in the bedroom, the sex can become mundane and feel more like a chore than the Earth-shaking, body-rocking experience we really want. And when a guy doesn’t know how to pleasure us the right way, we may go out and look for a guy who can.

Sex Secret #4

Most women are a lot more open and wild than you’d ever expect! Women talk about their sexual encounters A LOT more than guys do. We tell our girlfriends about EVERY detail when we have sex with a guy. And I can tell you from experience, that when one of us can’t stop talking about how amazing a guy was in bed, big things are going to go down

For starters, some women openly share their guys name and number with a friend so she can have some “fun” too. Women will also be a lot more open to inviting their girlfriends over for a threesome. So if you truly ever want to have truly wild sex life you are going to need the bedroom skills required.

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The Incredible Sex Video Series includes 10 exciting modules – All of which you can watch INSTANTLY in our private ‘members only’ website.

It is quite simply THE BEST program on giving this kind of pleasure to women, of it’s kind EVER MADE! It’s Your Complete Guide To Getting Her Off!

The Incredible Sex Video Series isn’t simply a collection of amazing sex techniques… It’s your complete step-by-step system to achieving the wild and exciting sex life you’ve always fantasized about – And giving your partner the greatest sexual pleasure they’ve ever experienced.

I want to share with you the 10 modules that make up “The Incredible Sex Video Series”… I’m positive you’re going to love it as much as I do.

Module 1 - “Sensual Touch” - Find out how to how to touch, kiss, and undress any girl in a way that will have her begging for more.

Module 2 - “Fingering Techniques” - There are things you can do with your fingers that you can’t do with any other part of your body.

Module 3 - “Advanced Fingering Techniques” – These advanced fingering techniques that will get her so hot and bothered that she’ll be begging for more. And deep emotional orgasms that are so intense, most women refer them as “The Ultimate Orgasm”.

Module 4 - “Oral Sex Techniques” - Discover why most men are losing their women to other women (Here’s a hint: Women are better at giving oral sex) AND the techniques to become a “master” of going down on her!

Module 5 - “Things You See In Porn That Are Bad Ideas” - If you try to imitate most of what you see in the movies, your partner will most likely walk out and never come back.

Module 6 - “Amazing Positions A to Z” - Being an amazing lover has nothing to do with those “fold her up like an origami crane” positions. It’s all about knowing how to “compliment” each others bodies by making tiny changes to your favorite positions.

Module 7 - “Anal Sex And Dirty Play” - So, if you’re interested in trying out “backdoor sex” with your woman (or any woman for that matter), then you need to pay close attention.

Module 8 - “Fetish And Advanced Dirty Play” - WARNING: This module is ONLY for the most adventurous of lovers! However, if you are daring enough to explore your “inner-freak” you may never want to go back.

Module 9 - “Staying In The Game” – If you want to last longer in bed, and drain your girl of ALL her energy, by giving her the most intense sexual experience of her life – Then this may be the most important module of all for you.

Module 10 - “Safe Sex” – Trust me, if she starts pissing razor blades, she will NEVER sleep with you again. Not only that, but if YOU catch something nasty, it won’t be a picnic for you either.

Q&A: MILF Fantasy – I Want To Have Sex With My Step-Mom!

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 14:00:27 +0000

A MILF fantasy is actually quite common – there are many guys out there that either have or had a really hot step-mother who they couldn’t help but be attracted to! Of course it’s inappropriate, but lots of guys experience it. Most of the time, it passes and nothing more is ever said about it. But just what do you do when all you can think about is getting it on with your stepmother?

Question: I have a fantasy of having sex with my step mom. Almost every day she wears these pants that when she bends over you can see her ass perfectly, and my urges keep getting more and more frequent! I’ve gone to many other people, all with no help. She is also about to get breast implants, so that makes it all the worse! Your videos have helped me out a lot, so please help me on this one!

–YouTube Viewer

A MILF Fantasy Is Perfectly Normal

Boys, especially those going through puberty, are going to be attracted to random hot women, possibly all hot women. If your stepmother is hot, it’s not out of the ordinary that you would have a sexual fantasy about her! Lots of guys have gone through or are going through the same thing. You’re just attracted to a hot woman who just happens to be your step-mother. You don’t have to make it any more complicated than that.

Acting On Your Fantasy

While a MILF fantasy is actually very common, it’s not one that you can act on. Even if you’re over the age of eighteen and you and your step-mother are both consenting, you’re still going to hurt a lot of people if you make that decision. Your family would likely be very hurt and feel very betrayed if you and your step-mother got it on.

If you’re under age, that’s a whole different ball game – things could be much worse if you did anything about your fantasy. Also, it’s likely that your step-mother most absolutely does not share this fantasy, and you could damage your relationship with her and the rest of your family if you tell her that you think about her sexually.

You can’t help that you’re having this fantasy, so what do you do? If you end up masturbating every day while thinking about your step-mother, you’re not going to be the first guy that has ever done that. Masturbation is an excellent relief for fantasies that you just can’t be a part of in real life. However, if you actually act on your fantasy, you could be crossing a line that you can never un-cross.

Consider Counseling

If your MILF fantasy really bothers you and you just can’t get away from it (and you really want to) consider counseling. There’s nothing wrong with seeing an unbiased counselor or third party that can help you talk through your feelings and problems. People put so much stigma on going to a therapist – especially for sex related issues – but if you want to get to the root of the problem, therapy is about as good as it gets.

Don’t think that seeing a therapist automatically makes you a weaker guy. What counseling can do is help you talk through your issues and learn the tools you need to become a better person and live a happier, more fulfilled life. On a side note, talking to your step-mother about this fantasy of yours is probably not a good idea.

Redirect That Energy Elsewhere

If counseling isn’t something you can or want to do, think about ways you can redirect this energy. Think about what it is about your step-mother that turns you on so much. Is it her physique? Perhaps she has a nice butt or legs that just won’t quit. If you can isolate just what it is about her that turns you on, you can redirect that energy to adult films and magazines that feature women with large butts, long legs, or whatever it is that you think turns you on the most.

Even if you can’t find something in particular, there is surely going to be another girl you find attractive. Exploring magazines, websites, films and art can help you find other women to look at that also turn you on. If you’re old enough and dating is an option, get more social and talk to girls.

You may be attracted to your step-mother’s personality, simply because you haven’t been close or conversed much to other women. Dating can help you redirect your energy into finding a girl that you’re attracted to that you can get to know without the repercussions that getting involved with your step-mother would bring.

Q&A: Can I Get Rid Of My Fetish?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 15:12:46 +0000

A fetish is a common thing for some people to have, and most men and women have a fetish of some kind or another. You’ve probably heard of many different kinds of fetishes, from a foot fetish to bondage and more. Most individuals indulge in their fantasy without thinking about it, but what do you do if you want to get RID of yours?

Question: I just finished watching your video about the teenager who is a macrophile, which motivated me to ask my question. I am a 16 y/o female and have been into omorashi my whole life. I don’t know when it started, but I can remember this fetish existing back to age 3. I hate it, I think it’s gross, I don’t know why it started, and I want to get rid of it. Can I do that? It is the only thing I get off on (for lack of a better term) and I don’t want it to be. I feel like a freak. Can you guys help me? Also, if I can’t get rid of it, how do I go about telling a future boyfriend/husband about this?

–YouTube Viewer

What Is Omarashi?

Omarashi is the Japanese term for a “panty wetting” fetish. It’s not necessarily the act of urinating in the underwear that is arousing to Omarashi enthusiasts, it’s the act of “waiting until you can’t hold it anymore” that is the turn on. This can also be called bladder desperation. While enthusiasts find the actual wetting arousing, they may also be sexually attracted to the feeling of having a full bladder or to someone else who is experiencing the feeling of a full bladder.

Most Fetishes Aren’t Harmful

Some people are freaked out by their own fantasy more so than they are the fetishes of others – which is saying something, considering that it’s common for them to think that their own fantasy is “normal” while what other individuals enjoy is “strange” or “weird.” However, most fetishes are actually completely harmless. Some individuals may think a foot fetish is odd (even the person with the fetish), but in all actuality, there’s nothing harmful at all about enjoying feet sexually or collecting sexy shoes and high heels.

Even “stranger” fetishes like wetting, macrophilia, infantophilia or diaper fetish, and cuckoldism among others are completely harmless, although they wouldn’t necessarily be considered “normal” by most. As long as no one is getting hurt and everything that happens is between consenting adults, there’s really nothing wrong with any fantasy that’s out there.

Don’t Let Others Judge You – And Don’t Judge Yourself

If you’re ashamed of your fantasy or prefer to keep it hidden, you probably don’t have to worry about others judging you. However, some fetish enthusiasts can be pretty hard on themselves for liking what they like – and if it’s not hurting anyone and you’re still able to lead a relatively normal and fulfilling life, there’s no reason to be so critical of what you enjoy. If you have a different sort of fantasy that might hurt someone or something like rape or bestiality, it’s important to seek help as soon as possible. However, if it’s not hurting anyone and it still bothers you, try to think about what exactly it is that freaks you out about it.

What Bothers You About It?

Find out what it is about your fantasy that bothers you – what exactly is it that you find distasteful in what you enjoy? Is it because you and others see it as “dirty” or “wrong” or is it due to hygiene issues or anything else? There are tons of possible reasons as to why something that you enjoy sexually might gross you out or bother you in some way – it’s your job to dig around and find out which one it is. Once you isolate the real issue, only then can you begin to resolve it.

Getting Rid Of A Fetish Because It’s Overtaking Your Life

If you have a fantasy that is overtaking your life and you’re unable to live a normal, healthy and happy life, getting rid of it is definitely in order. Here are some signs that it’s going too far:

It’s all you ever think about. For example, with a masturbation addiction, masturbation will nearly consume the thoughts of the addict. How often are you thinking about your fetish?
You can’t afford it and it hurts you financially.
It affects your relationships with your friends, family and significant others.

How To Overcome It

You most likely want to see an unbiased counselor that you’re comfortable with to talk through your issues with your fantasy. A lot of people with issues they’re ashamed of won’t go see a counselor, however, it’s pretty difficult to work through something like this on your own. This goes back to not letting anyone judge you – there’s nothing wrong with seeking help, ever. If you’re seeking help for any problem that you have and you’re committed to working through it, more power to you. Don’t let anyone bring you down! Also, remember that everything that goes on at a counselor’s office is confidential.

Redirect The Energy To Something Else

Whenever you feel the urge to engage in your fantasyg, think about consciously redirecting that energy to doing something else. For example, instead of looking at porn, try to meditate or do yoga. Pick up a hobby that you really enjoy such as painting or working on cars and do that whenever you feel the urge to engage in your fetish come on. Try getting out of the house – take a walk or adopt a pet that requires a fair amount of your time and attention.

Accepting Your Fantasies

Your sexual fantasies may not be something you are able to rid yourself of – let’s face it, people like what they like and sometimes you can’t change that. If your fetish isn’t hurting anyone and it only involves consenting adults, consider simply accepting it. Consider not letting anyone judge you for it, including yourself! There are individuals out there that enjoy the same things you do, or enjoy things that would be complementary to what you enjoy, like with BDSM where a submissive personality and a dominant personality get together and enjoy their fantasies. If you can’t make it go away of it, learn to accept it!

Q&A: BDSM & Rape Fantasies – How To Make Them Safe And Fun

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 14:00:58 +0000

BDSM and rape fantasies can be fun when no one gets hurt. Real rape is no joke – if you want to engage in this type of fantasy, it needs to be between consenting adults who are comfortable with pushing the boundaries. Here’s how to indulge in your BDSM fantasy without going too far.

Question: Hey guys, I am a BDSM master. I’ve had a lot of people ask me about rape fantasy sex with their partner. I’ve told them, just like an BDSM act, it has to be discussed beforehand and have a safe word chosen. Would you please do a video on this subject? Thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

What Is A Rape Fantasy?

A rape fantasy, in the right context, is actually just a domination/submission role play game. Some people enjoy being dominant over their partners while others enjoy being submissive. When you have a couple where one partner wants to dominate the other and the other enjoys being dominated, you can have a lot of fun with BDSM play.

Domination and submission is actually incredibly popular, although a lot of it stays underground for fear of being judged on sexual preferences. Rape is forced sex, and a rape fantasy is where you pretend to force someone to have sex or pretend that you’re being forced to have sex. It can be fun and enjoyable if it’s under the right circumstances and safe for everyone involved.

Communicate With Your Partner

While communication during sex is important no matter what you’re doing, it becomes essential when you’re doing something that is so far towards the edge of what is okay and what isn’t okay. You want to make sure you’re on the same page with your partner about what crosses the line and what doesn’t, because if the line is crossed, someone can get hurt, even if neither partner meant for it to happen.

Talk to your partner about what is okay and how far you can go, while also discussing where you don’t want to go and how far is too far. Talk about it beforehand – don’t wait until you’re doing it to say “Hey, I’m not sure I like that.” You and your partner both need to know exactly what you can do and what you can’t do before you ever get started. This is one of those situations where you don’t push the envelope past what you and your lover previously agreed to.

Also, make sure you’re with someone you trust. You don’t want to be acting out a BDSM rape fantasy with someone you just met at a club – because it very well could turn into real rape or you could get hurt. Make sure you and your lover both know and trust each other well before engaging in any activity of this nature.

Come Up With A Safe Word And Gesture

During any BDSM act, it is important to have a safe word or gesture prepared in case one partner wants the play to stop immediately. If it hurts, or you’re getting scared and just aren’t into it anymore, it’s important that you have a word you can say that lets your lover know that all play needs to stop right then and there. A safe word is something you don’t say very often, especially not in the bedroom.

“Stop!” or “No, don’t, that hurts!” are very bad safe words, because for doms and subs, this type of language is actually erotic. A safe word can be anything like, “purple pony,” “fried tomatoes,” or “Troy Aikman” – anything that you wouldn’t normally use in a sexual conversation is perfect. That way, your partner knows you want to stop ASAP.

A safe gesture is also a good thing to decide on before trying out a rape fantasy, especially if you and your partner enjoy using gags of any kind. A gag will prevent someone from speaking, so although they may be shouting “purple pony!” to try to get you to stop, it may only come out as gargled moans – which can be erotic if you’re a dom. So choose a safe gesture as well. It could be flipping the bird or the Vulcan salute – anything that can’t be confused with random movement of the hands. If your partner sees you make the gesture, they need to stop immediately, just as they would with a safe word.

How Do You Get Started With A Rape Fantasy?

Even if you’re experienced in the world of BDSM, it’s generally not a good idea to jump right into a rape fantasy. This is definitely something you want to start slow with, and work your way up. Start with some light domination, or a little bit of bondage and then gradually work your way up to more bondage and restraint, while adding in sexual language that is suggestive of pretend forced sex. You can also find your boundaries this way – going slow and working your way up to bigger things will allow you to find out if you’re comfortable with something or not before really diving head first into it.

What To Do If It Goes Too Far

Even though you’re just pretending, it can be really easy for a rape fantasy to go too far, too quickly. Don’t ever be afraid to use your safe word or gesture, and don’t be afraid to stop. Don’t think that your partner likes it so you should keep going – if YOU don’t like it or it’s hurting YOU, it’s important that you stop the play right away! You can always try again later if you really want to.

If your partner uses the safe word, make sure you’re the one stopping. That’s where trust comes in during BDSM and rape fantasies – you have to trust that your partner will stop immediately if the safe word is used and your partner has to trust that you’ll do the very same.

Real Rape Is No Joke

Although it’s perfectly fine to enact rape fantasies and play pretend when you’re with a partner you trust, real rape is not a joke! It doesn’t matter if you’re married, single, gay, straight, male or female – if you’re forcing someone else to have sex or sexual contact against their will, it is rape! If you have fantasies or feelings about actually raping someone against their will, talk to a counselor. Seek help, because these are not safe or natural feelings to have. You could hurt yourself or someone else, and get in a lot of trouble in the process. If you’ve flirted with the idea of actually raping someone, talk to a counselor right away!

5 Ways To Make Beach Sex Incredible!

Kaylen Jackson — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 14:00:57 +0000

Beach sex is common during the summertime, and it can be a totally amazing experience. It can also be the pits – so here’s how to make it absolutely fantastic.

Put Down A Blanket (Or Utilize The Doggy Style Position)

The biggest caveat when it comes to beach sex is one thing and one thing only – sand! Getting sand in all the wrong places can really cramp your style and can actually make it impossible to get it on with your lover. If even a few grains of sand get on a man’s penis and up into a woman’s vagina, it can be excruciating to have intercourse. It can also be dangerous – the sand can cut the inside of the vaginal walls and provide a perfect climate for infections to set in.

The best way to prevent sand from getting into your nether regions during beach sex is to simply bring a blanket and put it down before you get busy. Yeah, yeah, it’s not as “au naturel” as feeling the sand beneath your feet, but without a blanket, you’re going to be feeling the sand in many more places than just your feet. If you can’t bring a blanket or forget one, doggy style is your next best bet. Doggy style keeps the important parts away from the sand.

Find A Private Spot

While there are lots of voyeurs out there that wouldn’t mind you getting busy right on the sand, you may want to find a private spot to have beach sex with your lover instead. There are lots of private areas around, such as behind large rock formations or a grove of palm trees. Some places also have secluded lagoon areas, which can be super romantic, especially at dusk.

If you neglect to find a private area to get it on with your partner, you will most definitely get caught, even if you’re somewhere that doesn’t object to nudity. Places that allow nudity don’t object to complete nakedness obviously, but they do object to beach sex! Also, there are often lots of children out and about, even if you go at a time when you think all the kiddies are in bed. Avoid areas with children at all costs, unless you want lots of angry parents reporting you to the police.

Bring Lube

Contrary to popular belief, water is not lube. Neither is saliva – which you’re probably going to have to use if you don’t bring a bottle of your favorite lube with you. If you think you’ll produce enough of your own natural lubrication, think again. The sand is hot and dry, and chances are you’re going to wish you had a dab or two once you get going.

If you’re having beach sex outside the water on the sand, a good water based lubricant will work well. However, if you’re actually planning on getting in the water or doing it in the surf, a water based lube may be too thin for you. In that case, a silicone lube will work better. It’s a little thicker and a little more water resistant than water based lube, so it takes a little extra work to get off. This will work to your advantage, however, because you don’t want all your lube to rinse off into the ocean! Keep your stuff nearby so you can reapply your lube when needed.

Get Busy In The Surf

If you’re totally alone where you are and don’t expect anyone busting you, try having sex in the surf! There are tons of benefits to doing it right at the edge of the water:

The sand there is smooth and wet, so it’s less likely to get in your nooks and crannies.
The waves crashing against you feel incredible against your skin
It’s incredibly romantic and sensual

Plan To Do It At Sunset

Sure, having beach sex at sunset seems cliche, but there’s a reason for it – it’s probably one of the most romantic ways you can get busy! It’s a breathtaking way to get in touch with nature and with yourselves. You’re surrounded by water and sand, the views are great and you’re enjoying everything with your partner.

When you’re having beach sex at sunset, take it slow. This is not the time for a quickie (unless you’re about to get caught) – instead, take the time to really savor your partner and savor your surroundings. Taking it all in and enjoying it will make the experience absolutely unforgettable for both you and your lover.

How Do I Know If I’m Bisexual?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:00:53 +0000

In sex ed, they don’t tell you how to figure out your sexual orientation. And when you’re a teenager, there are tons of sexual hormones that are taking over your body – one minute you can be feeling one way and the next minute you can be feeling the exact opposite. It can be hard to tell what your true sexual orientation is when so many emotions are going through you. How do you know if you’re really and truly gay, straight, bisexual or anything in between?

For about two years, I’ve contimplated weather or not I’m bi-sexual, and I’ve been feeling like I am a lot more now than I have in the past. I’m sort of freaked out by all this and I was wondering if you could explain some of this stuff. I’m fifteen and living with two old school catholics – so let’s just say I can’t go to the parents on this one, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

What Is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality is simply the recognition that one can be physically and emotionally to more than one gender. Many people assume that if you have sex with a member of the same gender that it automatically makes you gay or bisexual, but this isn’t true. You don’t have to have had sex at all – with anyone – or you can have had sex with both genders.

You can also be gay but have only had sex with members of the opposite sex, and vice versa. On the other hand, having a sexual encounter with someone of the same gender doesn’t make you gay or bisexual. Your sexual orientation doesn’t depend at all on who you’ve been to bed with!

What Do You Really Fantasize About?

What does determine your sexual orientation is what governs your sexual fantasies. Are you a guy who is sleeping with with women but keeps dreaming about giving a great blowjob to a guy? Are you a girl who is having sex with guys but secretly wish you were with a girl instead? If this is the case, you might want to consider that possibility that you are gay or bisexual.

Leaning One Way Or The Other

If you’re bisexual, it doesn’t mean that you have to be attracted physically and emotionally to men and women equally. Lots of people lean one way or the other – a man who is bisexual may prefer women but sometimes enjoy men, or a woman may really enjoy being with another women but think being with a man sexually is okay too.

Questions To Ask Yourself

If you’re unsure about what your sexual orientation really is, you can ask yourself some questions to dig deeper within yourself and find out what really defines your sexuality.

Do you feel attracted to both genders?
Are you attracted to men and to women sexually and emotionally?
Do you think about having sex with a woman when you’re with a man or vice versa?
Do you enjoy looking at both men and women sexually?
Do you believe that either gender could fulfill you emotionally in a relationship?

All In All, It’s Just A Label

What sex ed definitely won’t teach you is that bisexuality, gay, straight, transgender, etc. are all just labels that people put on themselves or put on others. Humans have to label everything – it comes naturally to them to place a label on people, things, ideas, and pretty much everything else they come into contact with.

You don’t have to label yourself at all if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to consider yourself bisexual or gay or straight, then don’t! There are lots of people out there that don’t meet the criteria for gay, straight or even bisexual and are somewhere in the middle – but that’s okay because when it comes to sexuality and sexual orientation, it’s all shades of gray anyways. By labeling everything, we try to make our world black and white, but it just doesn’t happen that way.

You are who you are and you don’t need a label to give yourself permission to be a certain way or enjoy certain things. You don’t have to consider yourself into BDSM just because you like the occasional spanking, or think of yourself as having a urine fetish if you enjoy a golden shower every now and again. When it comes to sex – and anything else – you don’t have to define yourself unless you want to, and it’s not up to anyone else to define you either. The most important thing is to be honest and true to yourself, and live the way you want to live.

Porn: How To Make Your Own (And Make It Great)

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 14:00:20 +0000

Making a porn flick with your lover sounds really hot, but it can lack a lot of luster when you play it back after the fact. You may not look the way you want to, the angle of the camera may not flatter you or things that you thought would translate well on screen don’t. If you want to do a porn with your partner, there are a few technical things to keep in mind when you’re making the movie. Here’s how you can be sure your amateur porn looks as hot as it was doing it!

Watch A Few Porn Videos Together

Sit down with your partner and watch a few adult movies together. Figure out what you like and what you don’t like. Decide what looks hot and looks like you might want to try, and decide what you want to keep off screen. For example, don’t videotape your first time engaging in anal sex. That just won’t go well. Figure out what you want to do first, next and then how you want to finish up. Don’t be afraid to write it down. Professionals have a script and a storyboard, why can’t you?

Consider Hiring A Trusted Friend

One of the best things about real porn is that the camera goes in and out, focusing on different aspects of what the couple on screen is doing and grabbing those awesome close ups. You just aren’t going to achieve that with a standing tripod. If you want one camera angle, or don’t have anyone that you feel close enough with to ask this favor, a tripod will be fine.

However, if you want a film that turns out really great, consider hiring a close friend that you trust (perhaps even one with some knowledge of video cameras and filming techniques) to film you and your lover getting down. The finished product will most likely turn out much, much better and you’ll get views of you and your partner that you’ve never had before.

Invest In A Good Camera

No, the video camera on your cell phone isn’t going to work this time. If you don’t already have a good video camera, it may be time to invest in one before you start filming an amateur porn. It may be a pricey investment, however, you’ll be very glad you spent the money when you view the end result. Poor quality video cameras tend to be grainy or pixelated, making it difficult for you to see what’s really going on in the movie. When detail is important, a good camera is essential. Why would you want to tape a homemade porn when you’re not going to be able to see saliva on your partner’s penis as you give him a blowjob or vice versa when he’s giving you oral sex?

Make Sure You Have The Right Lighting

Lighting plays a very important part in any movie, and porn is no exception. Porn lighting can be tricky though, because you want enough light to make sure the camera picks up on everything, but you don’t want the fluorescent kind that highlights your every flaw. You can rent some lighting setups from your local rental agency, or you can purchase a few cheap floodlights from a hardware or home building store.

Buy An Outfit (Or Two)

Don’t wear your old, ratty pajamas when you shoot a homemade porn. Instead, spend a few extra bucks and get something nice for both you and your partner to wear. Lingerie, of course, looks great on camera, but it’s very important that you find something that flatters your body type. If you can fit into a garter belt and a pair of stockings without a muffin top hanging out, good for you. Go for it! However, if you’re a little bigger, you’ll want to buy something that flatters you.

Not so fond of your stomach? Try a baby doll top with sheer, filmy organza that flutters over your stomach and rests on your hips. Don’t like your arms but think your legs are bangin? Splurge on a minidress with tight long sleeves that rests just below where your butt and your legs meet. High heels or stilettos are a must for women, simply because no matter what you’re wearing, they’ll make your legs look fantastic.

Grooming

Grooming before shooting a porn is important, because you want to look your best. Of course, hair and makeup is a must but what about body makeup? Find a color of concealer or foundation that matches your body’s skin tone and use it to cover up blemishes on your legs and arms. You’d be surprised at how a bruise that you didn’t even know you had shows up on film after the fact.

You’ll also want to trim or shave your pubic hair, legs and armpits. Men may want to trim or shave their chest hair, depending on what you want to look like on film.

Use Editing Software

So your video is filmed and you’re ready to make the finished product. Consider purchasing or downloading video editing software to help you in the process. With editing software, you really can turn something mediocre into something fabulous. Just being able to cut out the scenes that you’re not happy with is well worth it right there, not counting the countless other cool features that can give your video that “wow” factor.

Above all, make sure that you’re filming a porn with someone that you trust and don’t allow copies to be made that aren’t expressly agreed upon by both of you. Remember to have fun and if you and your partner split, make sure the tape and any copies (digital or otherwise) are destroyed. Next time you and your lover want to heat things up, throw in your homemade porn and watch you and your lover get it on!

8 Sex Fantasies That She’s Absolutely Dying To Try

Kaylen Jackson — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 14:00:30 +0000

Every woman has secret sex fantasies that she wants to try, but many girls are too shy or nervous to introduce their sex fantasies to their boyfriends or husbands. Here are eight sex fantasies that almost every woman wants to try at one time or another and how you can gently lead her into playing along with you in the sex fantasies of her dreams!

She Wants To Teach You A Lesson

It’s a good bet that your partner wants to teach you a sexy lesson. The teacher/student fantasy is one that a lot of women (and men) have and it’s an easy one to do. You don’t have to have any special costumes or spend money on anything to get started. Call her “Mrs. ____” and ask her to “teach” you how to give her oral sex or finger her. See if she gives you “detention” for being a bad boy!

She Wants To Do It With Someone She’s Never Met

Sex with a stranger is something every woman fantasizes about at one time or another. While you probably don’t want to see her go out and bang someone she’s never met before, you can play into her fantasy with just a little bit of dirty talk. When she comes home from work and the two of you sit down for dinner, introduce yourself to her and tell her that you’ve been eyeing her from across the room and would love to meet her. If she plays along, lead her to the bathroom for a quick and dirty romp.

She Wants You To Pull Her Hair

In many cultures, women are taught to be submissive to men. In fact, the desire to be submissive to a man stems from generations and generations ago when women had to rely on men for many more things than they do now. Play into your partner’s desire to be dominated by you and tug her hair a little when she gives you a blowjob. If she likes it, make a point to spank her a little when you start getting busy!

She Wants To Tie You Up

A part of her wants to be dominated by you, but the other part of her wants to dominate you. Chances are, she’s fantasized at one point or another about doing bondage with you and tying you up while she has her way with you. Since this is probably something you would love her to do as well, introduce her to it by wearing a blindfold to bed (a silk tie or scarf works well) and handing her a pair of handcuffs or a tie for your hands. This also works well if you do it on her first and then let her do it to you!

She Wants To Have Sex In Public

Most women dream about having sex in public, but they’ve never taken the chance in real life to actually do it. Satisfy her desire for exhibitionism by taking her somewhere you can have sex (check out these amazing sex places) or surprising her next time she’s in the dressing room at the mall.

She Wants To Play With Your Prostate

Sure, she’s given you an amazing orgasm by just giving you a blowjob or a handjob. But she’s probably read about the “male g-spot” or a man’s prostate and how much better an orgasm can be for a guy with a little prostate massage thrown in. She’s most likely fantasized about being the first one to touch you there, or about being the woman that can give you the most amazing orgasms. Let her insert her finger next time she goes down on you and see what happens!

She Wants You To Rim Her

A lot of women fantasize about their partners going down on them, but her idea of great oral sex and your idea of giving great oral sex may be very different. Lots of girls imagine their guys going down on them and putting their tongue everywhere and exploring places that have never been licked or sucked before. Satisfy her craving for amazing oral sex by spreading her legs and letting your tongue go places it has never gone before instead of just licking her clitoris.

She Wants You To Talk Dirty To Her

Almost every woman has fantasized about dirty talk at one time or another. She wants to hear exactly how good it feels when she touches you, licks you or gives you a handjob. She also wants to hear how much you love doing things to her!

How Do I Get My Man To Role Play With Me?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 23:00:25 +0000

I love adult costumes, but Halloween is only once a year. Would it be weird to ask my boyfriend to extend our dress up beyond the holiday?

What She Said

Heck no, that’s not weird! In fact, I bet your boyfriend will be kissing your feet. A girl who wants to dress up in adult costumes? I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to know that he not only gets you as you are, but also has a sexy kitten, nurse, French maid, school girl, cheerleader and witch all coming to visit! If he, for whatever reason, expresses discomfort then there will be some compromises ahead – but my guess is that your revelation will be greeted with a big smile and a little (or a lot) of foreplay.

What He Said

Would it be weird to ask him if it’s okay to wear adult costumes? Well, all that depends on the costumes. If you want to dress up like Chester A. Arthur or The Queen of England and have a historically accurate 19th century tea party, then yes, yes it is in fact weird. Unless of course he has a fetish for Medieval English History Reenactments and then no, it’s not weird. Well, the asking him to dress up part. The rest is most certainly off, to put it nicely.

What Adult Costumes Are Appropriate For The Bedroom?

If however, you want to dress up as a naughty nurse, a naughty doctor, a naughty cheerleader (you can also substitute the word ‘naughty’ with ‘slutty,’ ‘whore-y’ or ‘nympho’) and you think that it is weird to ask him if you want to wear those costumes for him, I have to wonder what exactly is wrong with you.

Are you afraid he’s going to take the kids and leave the country because he can’t believe what a foul mouth deviant you are? Are you afraid it will ruin his chances for running for office? Are you finding your sexual desires incompatible with your religion (if it makes you feel any better, the people who are in charge of your religion have way more f’d up sexual fantasies than you do).

Why He’ll Love Your Adult Costumes

The point here is that there’s no way your man will have a problem with you wearing sexy adult costumes for you. If he does, then he’s gay and just not ready to come out of the closet. Seriously. He may have a slight problem wearing costumes for you because, well, men feel weird rocking the banana hammock (or speed to the lay person).

He may not feel secure or comfortable in his body because he doesn’t fit the Fabio body type, or maybe he’s never done this kind of thing before. Just work with him on it and let him know you are into him and that this will make you want to do him more. That should eradicate any resistance he has to the idea, if he has any to begin with. If all else fails, offer him anal sex. That always works.

I really think this is less about how to get your man to go along with role playing and more about getting you to feel comfortable about it. There’s nothing wrong with it. You can be in a happy long term relationship (or not), monogamous (or not), and good parents (or childless) and still be freaks and whores in the bedroom. In fact, I encourage it.

Best Kink Articles Of 2010

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 14:00:09 +0000

The great thing about kink is that there’s always something new, fun and different to try. Kinky sex never has to be the same way twice (that is, unless you want it to be) and the only limits to what you can do with your partner in the bedroom are your imagination – and of course, a few laws that ban the really scary stuff like bestiality or pedophilia.

If you and your partner are both consenting adults, you can pretty much do anything you want behind closed doors! You can experiment with kink if you’ve never done it before by trying a little light bondage with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs or role playing your favorite fantasies. You might be surprised at how much fun you and your lover can have if you learn to let go a little! If you’ve already made the dive into kink and are ready to try something a little hotter, try using a mouth gag or whip.

You can also explore really different fetishes, like a diaper fetish or domination. BDSM and kink is all about what turns you and your partner on – regardless of what anyone else considers to be “strange” or “weird.” This past year, we’ve done some research on the kinkiest fantasies and the best dirty sex tips that are out there. Here’s our top picks for the best kink tips of the year!

Kinky Sex: 6 Sex Fetishes You Didn’t Know Existed

Kaylen Jackson — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 14:00:38 +0000

There’s kinky sex and then there’s kinky sex. You may think that a little bondage and some fuzzy handcuffs in the bedroom is pretty out there, but it’s guaranteed that there are dozens (and maybe even hundreds) of different sex fetishes and fantasies that you didn’t even know about. From diapers to stuffed animals to erotic asphyxiation, check out these sex fetishes that you probably didn’t know existed!

Diaper Fetish

If you’ve never heard of a diaper fetish, now you have. People who enjoy diapers while making love (or just enjoy wearing diapers period) are called “diaper lovers” or “adult babies” and contrary to popular belief, they have no interest whatsoever in pedophilia. People who enjoy using diapers during coitus may like to urinate in the diapers or have their partners urinate in them, or may enjoy pulling the diapers to the side to perform oral sex on their lovers. Some adult babies will go so far as to purchase child like pajamas or even use pacifiers while sleeping or while making love. Now that’s kinky sex!

Erotic Asphyxiation

A truly dangerous form of kinky sex, this is one of the sex fetishes you don’t want to mess with. It is more dangerous than pleasurable and is one of the only sex fetishes that can result in death. Either during intercourse or masturbation, a person who enjoys erotic asphyxiation will tie a cord, scarf or other item around their neck to cut off blood and oxygen to the brain during orgasm. This supposedly makes an orgasm much more intense and satisfying. At best, the person who is participating in erotic asphyxiation will pass out at the point of orgasm and come to a little later after the body resumes normal function on its own. At worst, passing out before the cord is untied will cause the brain to go without blood and oxygen too long – causing brain damage (if the person is discovered in time) or death.

Klismaphilia

Klismaphilia is often one of the sex fetishes that people who enjoy anal sex like, and this is a form of kinky sex indeed. Klismaphilia refers to the sexual pleasure that some people derive from giving or receiving an enema. People who enjoy this activity will often fantasize about getting an enema, and will get aroused and may even reach orgasm while getting an enema or during the elimination process. Klismaphiliacs may go to the doctor or hospital to get an enema under the pretense of being constipated, or they may engage in this activity in secret as many adult toy stores offer devices such as enema tools, latex gloves and vaginal speculums for those into medical fetishes.

Hybristophilia

Hybristophilia is a fetish that is described often as the “Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome” where people (most often women) have a sexual fascination with someone who has committed a violent or gruesome crime. Many prisoners with sensationalized murder cases receive “fan mail” in prison from women who have sex fetishes or fantasies about the perpetrators of the crime and may even fantasize about being a part of the crime or witnessing it happening. Since most hybristophiliacs aren’t able to experience this type of kinky sex in person, their sex fetishes are usually expressed during masturbation. Some women, however, have even been known to marry the objects of their affection while they’re in prison. Passive hybristophiliacs often stick to writing letters to violent criminals, while more active hybristophiliacs may even be an accomplice in a heinous crime.

Plushophilia

Plushophiliacs have sex fetishes with stuffed animals or people who wear animal costumes, such as sports mascots or holiday characters such as the Easter Bunny. Men and women who are plushophiliacs may enjoy having intercourse with their partners dressed up in plush costumes, or they may experience this sex fantasy during masturbation with a small stuffed animal. Both men and women can be plushophiliacs, but not all fans of furry critters enjoy them sexually – called “furry fandom.”

Burusera

Burusera is the Japanese equivalent of a “panty fetish.” Men with Burusera style sex fetishes enjoy smelling, touching, masturbating with and even licking a girl’s used panties. This type of kinky sex was so prevalent in Japan at one time, that many Burusera shops existed to cater to clientele that wanted to purchase used panties and swimwear for sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, many more young girls were targeted as providers of used panties than those over the age of 18, so many Burusera shops were shut down and laws were passed to keep young girls from selling their panties to individuals or shops.

5 Mistakes Couples Make When Trying To Dirty Talk

Michael Webb — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 14:00:43 +0000

Okay, so you’ve agreed to give talking dirty a go with your partner. You may be a little nervous, but you love them so much and only want to make them happy. Besides, your sex life could really use a boost. However, many people make grave mistakes when learning how to dirty talk and these mistakes will end up causing more problems than you originally bargained for. Like you, many people have the potential to fall into the trap of these 5 mistakes. Avoid these mistakes at all costs to save yourself the embarrassment of a dirty talk attempt gone horribly wrong!

Mistake 1: Emulating The Dirty Talk In Porn Films

A good deal of women are turned off by porn, so try not to emulate what you’ve seen during some of those movies. Lots of them have cheesy lines and actors that aren’t up for academy awards for a very good reason. Many of these lines are not only cheesy, but they can be crass and derogatory towards women and sometimes even men. Also remember that these lines are scripted, and very, very fake. Your partner will definitely be able to tell that you’re not sincere at all in your dirty talk if you use lines from a porn movie. Avoid copying what you hear the porn stars say in the bedroom and you’ll be on your way to successful dirty talk.

Mistake 2: Making The Dirty Talk Unbelievable

Be aware that sometimes talking dirty can come across as very insincere. Telling your man, “Your cock is so huge,” when in reality is only about 3 inches isn’t going to make him suddenly feel like a stud. It’s actually going to make him feel much more self conscious about his smaller size. Likewise, telling her that that you love her massive tits when she is more “grape” than “grapefruit” in size will more than likely backfire. Sure, indulge a little but don’t go completely overboard with your exaggeration. In fact, when your lover is overly conscious of his or her size, dirty talk can do amazing things to boost their confidence. Tell the guy with the tiny penis that his cock rubs your clit so perfectly it makes you cum or whisper to your wife that you love being able to put her whole breast in your mouth. Dirty talk gives you the avenue to banish their insecurities and make them eager for more hot sex with you. Instead of exaggerating what they’re insecure about, talk about how much you love it. They’ll feel great about their body if they know it makes you really, really hot.

Mistake 3: Putting False Expectations In Their Heads

When you’re using dirty talk, don’t tell your partner about things you honestly have NO intentions of doing (ie. a threesome, group sex, farm animals, sex in public, midgets, bondage, etc.) You may find that it triggers some new fantasies or embeds some new images in his or her mind that he or she could continue to ask you to talk about and then want to act them out in real life. Reserve your dirty talk for things that you and your partner can actually make happen. Tell her that you want to bend her over the washing machine and do her from behind or tell him that you want to give him road head the next time you guys have a long drive in the car.

Mistake 4: Using Dirty Talk As The Sizzle Rather Than The Spice

Talking dirty can also become redundant, just like the same sex positions day after day after day. Make sure that you don’t use the same phrases over and over, or trust me, it will have the exact opposite effect and your partner might end up thinking, “Ok, I’ve heard that so many times. Please shut up already!” Instead, try your best to find new and different ways of telling your partner that they turn you on or what you want to do to them when you get them alone. If you’re having trouble thinking of something new to say, try using your surroundings as an inspiration. Going grocery shopping? Tell her how hot it would make you if you bought a very smooth, large cucumber and used it at home! Dirty talk won’t get boring if you use your imagination.

Mistake 5: Giving Up When It’s Not Turning Them On

Sometimes dirty talk can be more comical than erotic, depending on what is said and how it is said. It’s okay to laugh! But don’t give up. There’s actually a lot to learn! It’s not just the words you say, it’s how you say them. If your dirty talk isn’t appearing to turn your partner on, ask them why. Keep open communication about what they like and what they don’t like. If they’re not into something in particular, it doesn’t mean they’re turned off by dirty talk all together. It just means that that particular phrase didn’t do that much for them. Find something else to say instead!

Sexy Halloween Costume Ideas

Kaylen Jackson — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 23:00:35 +0000

Halloween isn’t too far around the corner, so it’s time to start thinking about sexy costumes and what you want to wear to halloween parties or in the bedroom with your partner – or both! Here are some great ideas for sexy halloween costumes that will make you the talk of any party and make your partner want to rip your costume off when you get home.

Cliche Costumes Make The Best Ones

Sure, you may think a sexy nurse or police officer is cliche, but these are actually some of the sexiest and hottest costumes available! Everyone loves a nurse in garters or a police officer in tall leather boots. If you think that by picking a common sexy costume that you’ll show up at a party wearing the same costume as someone else, think again. Many websites offer different versions of the same costume, so you can choose the one that’s just a little bit different than all the rest! You’ll love being the center of attention at any halloween party, and of course, you’ll want to incorporate your costume into the bedroom at home and give your partner amazing sex!

Spice Up Your Costume With A Wig

If you really want to be different on Halloween, try looking for a wig to go with your sexy costume. Have you picked out a sexy genie costume? Try going with a blond ponytail instead of your long brown hair. If you’ve picked something darker, such as a police officer, a mafia girl or even a hot assassin, why not go for a short, razor cut dark bob? Pairing wigs with your costume can take your look from “sure, that looks good” to “Damn! Who is that girl?!?” Taking your sexy costume to the next level with a wig is a bit like taking your normal sex routine up a notch with oral sex. It just adds that little something extra!

Plus-Size Sexy Costumes

Don’t think that you can’t wear a sexy costume just because you’re a little bigger around the middle. Most websites have plus size versions of their best costumes, so you can choose the costume that best flatters your body shape – it’s kind of like selecting the right size condom for your partner’s penis. Don’t want your spare tire to hang out? Choose a one-piece sexy nurse costume instead of the two-piece, or add a black leather bodice to your police costume to help cover up your flaws and make you look thinner! A one piece sexy school girl outfit can flatter a lot of body shapes, but perhaps the best costume for large tummies and busts is a barmaid-type costume. A full skirt will hide your thighs and a criss-cross bodice will cover up your midsection. A ruffled top enhances a large bust, so you can flaunt your assets while hiding what you don’t like about yourself. Finding a costume that you feel comfortable in (and that you can have sex in any sex position in without worrying about what’s hanging out) is the key to looking great on Halloween. Confidence and knowing you look good in whatever you choose to wear is what will turn heads and make you feel like a Halloween sex vixen!

Vampire Sex: A Guide To Safe Bloodletting And Biting In The Bedroom

Kaylen Jackson — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 14:00:42 +0000

With sexy vampire shows like True Blood and Vampire Diaries, or movies like Twilight, fetishists and BDSM fans may be tempted to try lots of biting and bloodletting in the bedroom if they haven’t already. Sure, it might be creepy to some people, but who’s to judge? Here’s how to keep bloodletting and biting in check so you can have hot vampire sex safely.

Biting

Most people are no stranger to biting in the bedroom. Even non-BDSM lovers can enjoy light biting or nibbling during sex, and some even enjoy harder biting that leaves marks. Biting during sex typically isn’t dangerous if you’re not drawing blood, but it’s important to have a safe word during biting just like with any sex activity that involves pain of any kind. Come up with a completely unrelated safe word (like “banana” or “train”) and if your partner is biting too hard or you want to stop for any reason, use the safe word. Before getting started, make sure both you and your partner (and whoever else is involved) is aware of the safe word and knows to stop immediately if anyone says it.

Bloodletting

Bloodletting isn’t as common as biting and it’s definitely not considered a “safe” activity and in fact it can be as dangerous as other activities such as erotic asphyxiation. There are, however, some things that you can do to make it safer for both you and your partner if this is an activity you both wish to pursue. First of all, bloodletting is not an activity that can be done with either partner inebriated in any way and of course must never be done by anyone under the age of eighteen. Bloodletting is an activity that is reserved for responsible, consenting adults only! Typically, people who enjoy bloodletting will draw only small amounts of blood from themselves (to avoid cutting or harming the other person more than intended) and either lick the blood themselves or allow their partner to do so. Never draw large amounts of blood from yourself or your partner, and if you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it! Don’t let anyone “talk you into it” or convince you that you want to do it.

A Note On STD’s

Blood spreads STD’s like wildfire. NEVER, EVER use someone else’s needle or razor and never allow anyone else to use yours. Never drink another person’s blood unless you and your partner have had STD testing and your results were negative. In addition, once you and your partner have had clean blood tests, you both must be committed to monogamy to avoid contracting a new sexually transmitted disease and giving it to your partner. Remember that bloodletting and biting (if blood is drawn) can spread serious STD’s like HIV and Hepatitis C, for which there is no cure. It is considered a high risk activity and it’s important to take steps to make yourself and your partner as safe as possible.

Don’t want to take the risk but enjoy the sight of blood during sex? Why not incorporate a bottle of good old fashioned fake blood into your sexcapades? Or find a recipe for edible blood made from corn syrup and red food coloring. You can still have fun without causing pain or putting yourself at risk for contracting and spreading sexually transmitted diseases.

How To Deal With Your Partner’s Secret Diaper Fetish

Kaylen Jackson — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 23:00:06 +0000

So your partner has a diaper fetish or diaper sex fantasy. Weird? Perhaps to you. However, the “diaper lover” and “adult baby” community is a surprisingly large and growing community filled with people who enjoy wearing diapers during sex, having their partners wear diapers during sex, and those who simply enjoy wearing diapers or using pacifiers. While your partner certainly isn’t alone in his diaper fetish, it can definitely seem strange or even disgusting to other people. So how do you deal with your partner’s secret diaper fetish?

What Is A Diaper Fetish?

A diaper fetish is a strong like or even obsession with diapers. These people are often called “diaper lovers” or “DL’s” for short, and while it may seem at first that the diaper lover is into pedophilia or infantophilia, they’re absolutely not. In fact, pedophiles and infantophiles are very much shunned by the diaper loving community. Some diaper lovers enjoy using diapers during sex and enjoy their partners wearing diapers during sex, however, others may not feel that diapers are sexual at all. These types of diaper lovers are often called “adult babies” and simply enjoy wearing diapers because they feel or look good to them. Adult babies may also enjoy wearing child-like pajamas, playing with children’s toys or even sucking on pacifiers. A diaper fetish is actually no different from a foot fetish, a smoking fetish, a cross dressing fetish or any other type of fetish.

So Do I Try It?

If your partner has confessed to you that he would like to wear a diaper during sex or would like to see you wearing a diaper during sex, you may be taken aback or even a little freaked out. This is very normal for people who don’t have much experience with fetishes at all or have never heard of a diaper fetish. It may take you some time to get used to the idea and get comfortable with the fact that your partner is a “diaper lover,” let alone considering trying it yourself. Stop and think about it though. Your partner’s sex fantasy could be something that really brings you and your partner together emotionally and sexually. Or it could be something that drives a wedge between the two of you. Your partner may not break up with you or leave you because you’re uncomfortable with trying his fantasy, however, it’s always going to be hanging out in the back of his mind. You have the opportunity to make his wildest fantasies come true and be a sex goddess in his eyes. If it’s not hurting anybody, why not? However, after giving the subject some deep thought, if you’re really and truly uncomfortable with it, don’t let your partner pressure you into anything you don’t want to do.

Going Through With It

If you’ve decided to try wearing a diaper for your partner, it’s going to seem very weird and strange at first. In fact, taking a trip down the “adult diaper” aisle may send shivers down your spine. But if you’ve thought about it and decided to try it, try to put your freaked out thoughts aside. Start slow though and don’t rush into it. Try purchasing a pack of diapers for yourself and checking them out when your partner’s not around so you don’t feel any pressure to like them. Put one on and see how it feels. If you try a diaper for the first time in front of your partner and aren’t at all comfortable with it, your partner may feel hurt or betrayed when you rip the diaper off, throw it in the trash and get as far away from it as possible. Trying diapers out by yourself allows you to form your own judgements without the pressure of having your partner waiting with bated breath for your reaction. If you’ve gotten that far and aren’t thoroughly wierded out, try wearing a diaper on your next date. Surprise him by leaning over and whispering to him, “Guess what I’m wearing underneath my pants?” Let him feel the crinkle of the diaper for himself. You would be amazed at how turned on he’ll get if diapers are truly his deepest, darkest fantasy!

It Goes Both Ways

Sex fantasies and fetishes are often harmless if they happen between two consenting adults and no one is getting hurt. However, if you try his diaper loving fantasy, it’s only fair that he try one of your fantasies. You may not have any deep, dark, secret sex fantasies but for example, if bondage is really your thing and it’s not his, it’s only fair that he play along. Try setting up a fantasy box where each of you can put in your own fantasies, wants and desires for sex. Pull out a fantasy whenever you and your partner want to do something fun. It could be your fantasy that ends up getting pulled out or it could be his!

BDSM Around The House – Things You Can Use For BDSM That You Already Have!

Kaylen Jackson — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 14:00:35 +0000

It’s common to want to try a little BDSM and bondage without a trip to the whips-and-chains store. You don’t want to spend the money on expensive toys but it just doesn’t seem like real BDSM without some props. Here’s what you can use for some fun bondage play that you probably already have at your house – or that you can get easily without spending a lot of money.

In Your Kitchen

Using a spatula for light spanking (or hard spanking if that’s what you prefer) might have already crossed your mind, but you might have dismissed it because it seems so cliche. But what about that naughty fantasy of a nearly naked cook punishing you for trying dinner before it was ready? A simple spatula can be a lot of fun with a little imagination. Smooth fruits and vegetables can be used for homemade sex toys, such as using a very large cucumber as a dildo. Make sure it’s clean and smooth, without rotted places or rough places on the surface. NEVER insert anything into the anus that isn’t a sex toy built with a wide base specifically for anal play – it might get lost in there and warrant you and your partner a trip to the emergency room.

In Your Bathroom

A feather duster can feel divine when your partner tickles you up and down your body, especially if alternated with light or firm spanking. You may not, of course, keep a feather duster in your bathroom (or in your house for that matter) but they’re available at virtually every store and are extremely cost effective. They are definitely less expensive than their red and black sexy feather tickler counterparts. While the sexy feathers might seem more enticing, who doesn’t like a nice “French Maid” sex fantasy? You can even bring “bathroom cleaning supplies” such as soap or lotion and offer to clean up your partner’s genitals.

In Your Bedroom

Your bedroom has lots of fun BDSM toys inside, including scarves and ties that can be used for sexy blindfolds and restraints. Bondage may sound played out, but never underestimate the power of being blindfolded and tied up and not knowing what your partner is going to do to you next. Looking for something a little less blase than bondage? Try experimenting with shoes. Even if you don’t have a strong shoe fetish, experimenting with stilettos can be super fun. You can create both pleasure and pain with a sexy high heel and you’ve probably got a really hot pair of heels or even boots lying around somewhere. Don’t forget that your closet is also a great place for sexy costumes, even if you don’t seem to think so. Pair knee high boots with your normal black bra-and panty set for a hot surprise, or put on one of your partner’s white button up shirts and ties for a sexy just-from-the-office strip tease. There are lots of great roleplaying ideas that will utilize clothes you already have, such as a sexy librarian, a school teacher or a sexy pool boy or handyman. When it comes to BDSM, you just have to use your imagination!

The New Sex Rules For Women

Jessica Perez — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 23:00:56 +0000

Women who enjoy sex are much happier than those who don’t. Sex can make you smile all day and make you bloom like a flower. If you have an active sex life, you feel sexier and more alive.

Some women claim that it’s the constructive and romantic relationship that is making the sex awesome. Some say the sex is great that’s why the relationship keeps getting better. From any angle, it’s unmistakeable that sex plays a huge role in making any loving relationship a success.

But what if your relationship with your partner continues to flourish even if your sex life has started to falter? You are still living together, you’re talking like old buddies and you enjoy watching movies and television shows together. You do not share a long French kiss but you peck each other on the cheek before you leave for work. Is that enough to keep your relationship going?

Some women might say yes, it’s enough. But a sizable majority would probably disagree. Sexual intimacy is something that a relationship must have or it’s going to hit the skids anytime soon.

So, what can you do if you want a better sex life and you want to share intimate moments with your partner again? You lay down some ground rules…

Share Sexual Fantasies

You should never feel ashamed about your fetishes. Everyone has some kinky thoughts every now and then, and yours should not make you feel embarrassed. One way to improve sexual intimacy with your partner is to tell him about your sex fantasies, no matter what they are. Doing this will give him an idea of what you like, and he can think of some ways to please you more in the bedroom.

Encourage Intimate Touching

Remind your partner that touching is essential to make a woman feel secure and safe. Touching often does not have to lead to sex, but if it does, you both should go with the flow. Some men feel pressured when their partner touches them intimately. They feel pressured to perform.

Female Masturbation

I know a lot of women who try to keep the fact that they masturbate a secret from their partner. Some women feel like they are cheating on their partner. A woman should not feel ashamed of the fact that she pleasures herself. In fact, the next time you have sex, you must be able to show your partner how you do it.

Having sex daily might be impossible if you have chores at home and you have to deal with stress in the workplace. However, you should never assume that the intimacy requirement could only be met with actual penetration. You can strengthen the sexual tension between you and your partner by acting sexual towards each other whenever you can.

Kinky Sex 101: Adding Flavor To Vanilla

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 14:00:14 +0000

Not everyone is content with a plain, vanilla sex life. In fact, most dating and married couples seek out various ways to spice up their sex lives once they’ve gotten past the initial “everything is new” sex phase. There are tons of different ways to revv up your sex life, ranging from the very tame to very “outside of the box.” Here are some great new sex ideas for you and your partner to try in the bedroom (or out of the bedroom if you prefer) so you and your lover can start experiencing mind-blowing sex all over again!

Going Outside Of Your Current Comfort Zone

Just because you want to try kinky sex, you don’t have to start with the whips and chains right away – that is, unless you really want to. Spicing up your sex life can involve lots of fun, tame activities, as long as you and your partner are going just slightly outside of your current comfort zone. For example, if you’ve never tried light spanking or dirty talk before, try it now! If that soon becomes a part of your regular sex regimen, it will soon be time to graduate on to something else. Your “current” comfort zone is always changing – you could be completely comfortable with racy lingerie six months from now, but it may make you just a tad nervous if you’re thinking about putting it on tomorrow night. A little nervous is good though. Your goal is to make it just outside of your “bubble” and try something you’ve never done before.

Paddles

Paddles – the ones made specifically for sex, not the ones with the rubber ball on a string – are great way to get started. Most paddles that are made for the bedroom are soft and silky on one side, and hard on the other so it smarts when you give your lover a light smack on the rear end. Start by giving each other soft taps before you graduate to full on paddling pain. By starting off small and working your way up, you and your partner can both find your level of tolerance to paddling before pleasure starts turning into pain.

Blindfolds

This is an incredibly easy and fast way to bring some extra sizzle to your sex life tonight. Anything will do – a scarf or a silk necktie will work just fine, although there are a number of great blindfolds made specifically for lovers. These may be soft and silky or have naughty sayings on them to entice your partner. Either way, the sensory deprivation created by placing a blindfold over your lover’s eyes (or vice versa) is an extremely titillating experience. You or your partner won’t know what is coming, and it will force you to experience your partner’s touch (and taste and smell) in an entirely new way.

Bondage & Restraints

There’s few things that are sexier than being tied up and waiting patiently for your partner to deliver you pleasure while there’s nothing you can do about it. Take turns with your partner in some light bondage situations, allowing both you and your lover to experience the feelings of being in total control and being totally out of control where pleasure is concerned. You may find that you really enjoy one or both of these roles! Combine restraints with blindfolds for a really wild experience!

Sex Swings & Sex Furniture

You’ve heard about a thousand and one different sex positions and how they are all meant to add that extra “oomph” to your sex life. Some of these positions are darn hard to get into though, let alone actually create any kind of movement that will stimulate you or your partner! Sex furniture, such as the Tantra Sex Chair or a sex swing, are great aids to help you and your lover get into all kinds of different sex positions – without breaking your back.

Advanced Kink

If and when you and your partner are ready to graduate to advanced kink in the bedroom, try experimenting with more dominant and submissive roles. Force your partner to be your sex slave for the day, or vice versa. Some partners like to get into cross dressing a little, or have a little more fun with the fine line between pain and pleasure. Remember to be safe (and have a safe word), but when it comes to kink, the only limit is your imagination!

Fun Sex Games To Try With Your Partner

Lee Jenkins — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:00:10 +0000

Have you ever wished sex between you and your partner would be more enjoyable? If you’re like all men, you probably thought of doing some really kinky stuff with your girl but have not yet discovered how to lead the sex in that direction. But, what if she’s really not into that, you ask? I understand that it’s pretty difficult to start making love the way you really want when your partner is inhibited and stressed.

While you can do nothing to keep her from thinking about work, grocery bills and other tiresome issues, you can improve the mood by making her relax while she’s alone with you. Being relaxed will lead to more enjoyable things, as you’ll soon find out. Read on to discover some of the best sexy games you can do with your partner to make her less inhibited and more willing to try kinky sex with you.

Find That Ticklish Spot

Stimulating someone sexually when she’s not in the mood is like plunging a bar of ice into boiling water. The ice will not thaw slowly, it will break. What you need to do is warm her up in a way that she naturally opens up.

You can do this by poking her or running your fingers on her ticklish spots and gently teasing her. Be as naughty as you want. It’s important to do this gradually so that she naturally allows you to explore her body. When you get her laughing and giggling, you can pick up the pace and start acting sexual. You can let her turn the tables on you, too.

Use Props

When she is breathless with anticipation, or if you have made it clear over dinner that you intend to make love that night, you can bring props with you to bed. It does not have to be some fancy sex toy that you bought online; you can simply use what you have at home.

Bring a bowl full of ice cubes to bed or slices of her favorite fruit. You can even encourage her to bring out her vibrator so she can play with it while you do your moves on her. Props and toys make sex more exciting. Have fun trying out each one and finding out which ones give the best sensations.

Who Can Hold Climax Longer

The fun thing about this game is that the more she tries to hold her orgasm in, the more aroused she gets. This is a psychological game that you can play with your girl, to increase sexual tension and anticipation on her part. The more she tries to hold back, the harder you should work so that she will not be able to hold back.

The next time you think of using champagne to “loosen up,” think about these sex games. There really is no need for artificial stimulants when you can play some kinky games with your partner to get her in the mood.

How To Enhance Your Sex Life

Lee Jenkins — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 14:00:07 +0000

After a few years of being in a sexual relationship, sex may feel like a normal, everyday occurrence that you can take for granted. No one will admit that their sex life sucks, but the fact is that sex becomes boring if you don’t continue to find ways to spice things up. Choosing to enhance your sex life is great for improving your relationship in general.

Here are some erotic ways to make sure you and your partner can make sex feel more exciting and fun.

Sex Tools

Even if you haven’t seen or touched a vibrator before, you should know about these things that women use to masturbate. These sex toys aren’t just for solo pleasure. In fact, they can be used to enhance your love making if you know how to use your imagination. Not ready to join a swing club? No worries. You can use your girl’s vibrator to simulate a threesome.

Sex tools also include oil rubs that add heat to an otherwise ordinary erotic massage. There are some vibrators that don’t need manual manipulation (like a sybian). You can purchase sex ticklers, spiked massagers and tongue dildos that can make a difference as far as your girl’s pleasure is concerned.

Sex Fantasies

These sex fantasies can be a great way to add variety. Pretending to be someone else while having sex isn’t taboo if you keep your mind open and if your relationship is solid to begin with. You may want to stay away from sexual fantasies if your partner is the insecure type who can’t bear the thought of pretending to be something she’s not during love making.

However, even if your girl isn’t as outgoing or uninhibited as you would like her to be, there are certain things you can do to pull off a sexual fantasy. You can ask her to dress differently, wear costumes or talk dirty to you during sex. The important thing is that you find out what floats her boat so you can come up with a good roleplaying “script” for your next kinky adventure.

Experiment With Sex Positions

Look for new sex positions that allow you to experiment with your lips and hands. There are certain positions that allow deeper penetration, and there are those that allow you to touch a woman everywhere during penetration. There are even some sex positions that allow you to share an intimate kiss and look into each other’s eyes while you’re having sex. Who said being romantic during sex isn’t possible? It’s all in the position.

Even if you’re not the adventurous type, discovering new sex positions with your partner should come easy. You can try lifting your partner’s hips during Missionary, or you can hold her ankles up during doggy style sex. Not all sex positions have to be planned, some can be executed beautifully during sex, as long as you’re willing to experiment.

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

Sexy Gift Ideas

Andrew Wang — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:37:17 +0000

You’re looking to get a sexy gift, eh? Well, this is the internet. You’ll have no trouble finding plenty of suggestions here. From garter belts and sensual candles to fake ding-dongs and edible jock straps, it’s all here. But you’ll have to put a little thought into it if you want to really impress anyone. After all, the brain is our most important sex organ and, when it comes to sexy gifts, the thought really does count.

“Help me out here,” you’re probably saying. “If I wanted to think, I wouldn’t have turned on my computer and Googled ‘sexy gift ideas.’” Well, go ahead and order the Ima Virgin Sexy Bride costume then. But deep down you’ll know that you just picked something off of the first page of search results. Even worse, so might your partner! Trust me. Put a little bit of effort out and it will be worth it.

Find Their Fantasies

First of all, does your partner have any fantasies? If you know what they are, your job is pretty easy. Many times, however, you won’t. People tend to be shy about these things. Do a little digging. If you happen to find out, for example, that your babe has dreams where she’s a damsel in distress and you’re her knight in shining armor, a trip to Medieval Times might get the night off to a great start. Maybe his fantasy is to be with nurse. Don’t stop at buying (or renting for the risk-taking folks) a costume. Arrange an evening that puts him in a “hospital” bed—maybe even where he is incapable of moving, due to whatever injuries you have concocted—with you taking care of his every…need.

Do something surprising. A dim desk lamp with a light blue cloth over it makes a great fake moon. Set up a moonlit beach picnic in your living room. Googling ‘sexy gift ideas’ won’t point you towards the Ocean Moods CD, but that can be part of your plan. With the right background ambiance, a bottle of Yellowtail wine, and a basket full of goodies, you’ve got yourself some sex on the beach in the privacy of your living room (without the sand in your you-know-what). What’s more, this can be yours for under a grand total of thirty bucks. You can bet she’ll be bragging to her buddies about the crazy, romantic, sexy thing her man did last night!

Get Creative

Or maybe a beach setting isn’t his thing. Maybe your man prefers the rustic outdoors in a camp setting. Pitch a tent (ahem!) in the living room—though I don’t recommend driving stakes into the floor—and roast s’mores. Rather than telling scary stories, take turns telling erotic stories.

Creativity is the key here. You can be as tame or as raunchy as you think is appropriate. The point is, you’re the one who knows. Or, at least, you’re the one in the best position to figure it out. It’s all the things that happen day to day that inspire the thoughts that come to us by night. Don’t be afraid of looking nerdy or whipped. Pay attention to what’s going on. Listen. Try new things.

Q&A: How To Fantasize Without Sounding Like A Pervert

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:00:55 +0000

In a new sexual relationship, it can be nerve wracking to share your sexual fantasies, likes and dislikes with your new partner. Will they judge you? Will you sound like a pervert if you tell them what gets you turned on? Here’s how to share your fantasies with your partner – without making yourself look bad.

Question: My girlfriend keeps asking me what turns me on. How do I say something without sounding like a pervert?

–YouTube Viewer

Accept Your Fantasies

Everyone has something that turns them on sexually. Each person has a fantasy or fetish – and some people have more than one – and what turns someone on differs greatly from person to person. There are as many sexual fetishes, likes and dislikes in the world as there are people. What turns you on is part of what makes you sexually unique, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Unless your fetish is illegal – say, child pornography – having something special (or several somethings special) that gets you hot is perfectly normal. If you accept your fantasies and fetishes as part of yourself and aren’t embarrassed by them, you’re not going to sound like a pervert when you share them with your partner. You’re going to sound like a hot, confident guy who knows what he likes and what he wants. Her attitude about it greatly depends on your attitude about it.

When Your Partner Opens The Door

If your partner has asked you to share with them what turns you on, this is an open door that you want to take advantage of. Sure, coming right out and saying to your partner, “Hey, do you like to bite during sex?” might sound strange coming out of nowhere, but if your partner asks you what you like in the bedroom, don’t be too embarrassed to tell her. She’s let you know that she wants to share fantasies with you. This is a sign that she’s more open minded about sex than you think. Take advantage of the situation and talk about what you like and what she likes. You might find that what turns you on turns her on too and vice versa!

Make It Fun

Sharing your fantasies with your partner isn’t supposed to be nerve wracking, it’s supposed to be fun! Finding out about your partner’s fantasies and sharing yours with her is part of the fun of a new sexual relationship. If you’re still nervous about sharing what turns you on with her, try playing a fun sex game to loosen you up. Adam And Eve has a great game called Sex Is Fun, and involves fun questions about you and your partner’s fantasies. Popular sex advice magazine Cosmo has also come out with a Truth Or Dare game that lets you and your partner discover the truth about each other – and get turned on by the sexy dares. However you decide to share your fantasies and fetishes with your new partner, don’t be embarrassed or scared to do so. Make it fun and exciting instead, because it’s really not as big a deal as you think it is!

Q&A: My Sexual Fantasies Are Taking Over My Life

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 14:00:15 +0000

Both men and women think about sex often during the day, but most people can push those thoughts aside so they can focus on the task at hand. Some people, however, struggle with thinking about sex almost all the time and have trouble focusing on their daily life and find that the sex thoughts are taking over. Here’s what you can do if your fantasies seem to be out of control.

Question: Hello Dan and Jenn, I have a problem and I hope you can help me. I’m 25 years old and I go to university. However, I feel sometimes I cannot stay focused because I have too many sex fantasies during class. I don’t know why, but I’m starting to engage in wishful thinking quite often. Not only in class but in social situations, riding the bus, doing homework, it just happens. What can I do to stop my sex drive from affecting my grades and my life?

–YouTube Viewer

Your Body Is Trying To Tell You Something

If you find that you are thinking about sex all the time, or more often than usual, your body is definitely trying to tell you something. If the fantasies overrun your life, your body isn’t getting the sexual relief it needs so it tells your brain to think about sex – a lot. Just like when your body has cravings for a certain food, your body is telling you it needs sex. This is one time that you really want to listen to your body, especially if you find that the sexual fantasies are popping up everywhere, no matter what you’re doing and you find it hard to concentrate on anything else.

Finding Sexual Relief

When you find yourself fantasizing about sex often, take some time to find some time to satisfy yourself. If you’re in a relationship with someone and are sexually active, try having sex more often or incorporating some of your fantasies in your sex life. If you’re with someone and haven’t had sex yet, think about becoming sexually active with them if there are no moral or religious reasons that are keeping you from having sex. Last but not least, one of the easiest ways to relieve sexual frustration whether you’re in a relationship or not is masturbation. To try to keep the fantasies at bay while you’re at school or work, try having sex or masturbating in the morning before you leave. If you find that you’re really struggling throughout the day, you can pop in the bathroom for a quick masturbation session if you have to. Chances are though, if you incorporate more sex or masturbation into your life at home, you’ll find that you’re just fine at work or school.

Is It A Sex Addiction?

If you can’t shake your sexual fantasies regardless of how much sex you have or how much you masturbate, you may be a sex addict. A sex addiction can really interfere with your life and make living day to day very difficult. If you think you have a sex addiction, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A counselor or specialized therapist can help you find the root of the problem so you can work towards finding a solution.

Q&A: BDSM and Fetishes – When Your Fantasies Don’t Line Up

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 14:22:26 +0000

Everyone’s sexual fetishes are unique, and it’s not uncommon for two people who like very different things to be in a relationship together. Can you and your partner find sexual satisfaction together and bond sexually when you both like completely different things in the bedroom? Here’s how.

Question: I am currently going out with someone that likes BDSM and cross-dressing, some humiliation as well. The problem is as much as I love him and would like to please his every desire, I just dont seem to be able to understand the deal with BDSM or humiliation. I’m not into it. He doesn’t want me to do these things if I’m not into them. He says he loves me and doesn’t mind being with me, even if I cant seem to get into his fetishes.

–YouTube Viewer

Have You Tried It? You Might Like It!

If you partner has a fantasy or fetish that you don’t seem to be interested in, such as BDSM, bondage or humiliation, steering clear of these in the bedroom is going to make you more comfortable sexually. However, if you haven’t tried it with your partner, you might consider some light bondage next time you and your partner have sex. Your partner will really enjoy anything that relates to their fantasy and you might find that you like it! Don’t try anything you’re super uncomfortable with, but trying new things in the bedroom isn’t a bad idea.

Be True To Who You Are

If you’ve tried to share your partner’s fantasies and fetishes and just can’t seem to get into them, don’t force yourself to do things that you don’t like. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it and it’s important that you be true to who you are. It’s also important that your partner is true to who they are and if they like something, it’s essential not to criticize them about it. While you don’t have to be a part of it if you’re not comfortable with it, it’s important to allow your partner to be themselves. Being unable to find sexual satisfaction together because you both like different things in the bedroom may cause issues later on in your relationship but if they’re not bothering you or your partner now, relax and let it go. You can cross that bridge when (or if) you get there.

Find Fantasies That You Do Share

Try to find some fantasies that you and your partner both like. If you and your partner think you’re totally sexually incompatible together, you might be surprised that there are a few things that you both actually have in common. But you won’t know unless you try! Talk to your partner and be open and honest with them about what turns you on and what doesn’t. Listen to them openly about what they like or don’t like. Browse adult toys online, or even adult videos that might interest you both. Just because you aren’t into his fantasies doesn’t mean you can’t find something that you both really enjoy!

Pleasing Your Partner With A Strap On

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:00:04 +0000

If you and your partner are looking for something to spice up your sex life, you may want to consider pleasing your partner with a strap on. In this alternative to traditional anal sex, a woman will wear a strap on dildo and please her partner anally, focusing on stimulating the prostate gland. Some men, however, are adverse to this idea – here’s how to find out if you can please your man with a strap on.

Introducing The Idea

Many women enjoy the idea of having sex with their partner with a strap on. It gives them the feeling of power and lets them experience a different side of sex altogether. Some men enjoy being on the receiving end, however, many men do not relish the idea at all. How can you find out if your man would like being pleased anally with a strap on? First, try traditional anal sex and let your partner please you anally. This is a good way to introduce him to the idea of anal play at all. Communicate with him how much it turns you on. Also, try a few roleplaying activities that allow your partner to take the role of the submissive. This is a great way to allow him to explore being submissive without diving right into anal play. If he enjoys anal sex with you and enjoys being submissive sometimes, browse a sex toy store online and let him suggest a few toys he would like to play with.

Getting Him Warmed Up

Don’t start by outright suggesting he try being on the receiving end of a strap on. Instead, give him plenty of time to warm up to anal play by purchasing a few small anal toys, such as anal beads or small butt plugs, and use lots and lots of silicone or water based lubricant. Never use desensitizing lube, because if it is painful or uncomfortable, he should stop. Once your partner really gets into anal play, try taking a look at a smaller sized dildo with a strap on. Let him know it could be a toy for both of you to enjoy!

Do’s And Don’ts Of Strap On Play

Don’t try any kind of anal play without lots of lube.
Don’t force your partner into a submissive role or strap on play if that isn’t where he wants to be.
Listen to him if he tells you something makes him uncomfortable or becomes painful.
Start small and work your way up. Always use toys and dildos that have a wide base on the end of them to prevent the anal toy from being lodged in the anus. You don’t want to risk it not being able to get back out.
Start slow and go slow. Anal play is not the time to be rough – stuff can tear back there!
Have a safety word and use it if one of you becomes uncomfortable.
Be open to ideas that your partner wants to try too – let him share something with you that really turns him on and make a vow to try it with him.

Q&A: My Girlfriend Wants To Do Me With A Strap On

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 14:00:43 +0000

The act of penetrating your partner during sex is intense. It’s a huge turn on for guys – but believe it or not, penetrating their partner (instead of being penetrated) can be a turn on for women too. Some women fantasize about having sex with their man with a strap on. Many men, however, don’t find this idea at all appealing. What do you do if your girl wants to do you with a strap on – and you’re not into it?

Question: I have been having sex with my girlfriend for 3 months now and just recently she keeps bring up the idea of her pleasuring me with a strap on. The idea scares me and I feel as if I were to go through with it I would be less of a man. How do I talk her out of it?

–YouTube Viewer

Open And Honest Communication

When bringing up a fantasy, whether it’s your fantasy or hers, it’s important that both you and your partner be open and honest with each other. Each partner should be able to bring up a fantasy of theirs without the fear of criticism or being laughed at. That doesn’t mean you have to go along with it though. If her fantasy makes you uncomfortable (or vice versa) it’s important that you are honest with your partner and voice your concerns without being condescending or critical. Sex between you and your partner should be enjoyable for both of you, and neither partner should be forced to be uncomfortable just so the other partner can have a pleasurable experience. If your partner wants to try something that makes you uncomfortable, let her know. If she wants to have sex with you using a strap-on, let her know what about that idea causes you discomfort.

How To Say No

Whether you aren’t into the idea of playing in the mud or you’d rather keep your anus a “one way only” street, those are all perfectly sound reasons to bring up to your partner. When you’re talking to your partner about why you don’t want to have her use a strap-on on you, make sure that you use “I” terms instead of “you” terms. This is about you after all, and why the idea of her introducing this type of BDSM makes you uneasy. Be careful not to make her feel as though her fantasies are gross or wrong. She should feel safe enough in the relationship to bring her fantasies up in conversation, whether you actually go through with them or not.

She Should Respect You

If you respect your partner enough to make it safe for her to share her fantasies with you, she should respect you enough to realize that you may not want to participate in all of them. Ultimately, if you’re not comfortable with something, she shouldn’t force you to do it or become angry if you won’t. It’s your body after all. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If she doesn’t respect you enough to dismiss her fantasy and find a form of sex or BDSM that you both can enjoy in the bedroom, it’s time to move on to someone who does respect you and your body.

Best BDSM And Kink Articles Of 2009

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 14:00:15 +0000

Kink, bondage, cuckold fantasies, cross dressing – you name it, it’s out there. Everyone likes something different in the bedroom, whether it’s traditional, vanilla sex, light bondage or something totally extreme. Our motto is as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and no one is getting hurt, it’s all good! This year, questions about bondage, BDSM and kink came in from all over the globe and we answered the questions you were asking about everything from watching your woman have sex with another man to a husband who wants to videotape his wife having sex with a donkey. No, we weren’t afraid to “go there!” Check out some of our best, no-holds barred BDSM and kink articles from 2009.

Cuckold Fantasy: My Wife With Another Man – Why Do I Like It? (Video)

How Do I Introduce BDSM To My Boyfriend? (Video)

Is Cross Dressing A Turn Off To Women? (Video)

Asexual Wanting BDSM But Not Sex – Is It The Medication? (Video)

Help! My Boyfriend Wants To Be Tied Up! (Video)

My Husband Wants Me To Have Sex With A Donkey (Video)

Is My Foot Fetish Weird? (Video)

Are My Sexual Fetishes And Kinky Fantasies Bad? (Video)

What’s Your Safe Word? How to Get Off Without Getting Hurt

Sexual Fetishes – Is My Smoking Fetish Weird? (Video)

Britney Spears “3″ – Are Threesomes “In?”

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:20:57 +0000

It’s every guy’s wet dream right – and no, we’re not talking about the Princess-Leia-in-the-gold-bikini fantasy. We’re talking about threesomes. Threesomes have long been touted as the “holy grail” of sex for guys, and any real life threesome gives a guy automatic bragging rights to his friends. Women who are down with threesomes are considered wild and fun, and as society becomes less censored and more open about human sexuality, threesomes are actually a commonly accepted practice. So are threesomes the new black?

Britney Spears “3″ is one of the most popular songs out there right now, but how many of you have stopped to actually listen to the words? Britney claims that threesomes are the new “in.” Well, that’s what we’re talking about today on the show. Are threesomes the new “in” or a disaster for your relationship?

Why Are Threesomes So Popular

Guys are visual. We all know that. One naked girl = one erection. So what about two naked girls? More erections? Double the pleasure? What about if the two girls start getting sexual with each other while the man watches? Or better yet, what if the two girls start getting sexual with each other and with the above mentioned man? Guys tend to like “bigger” and “better” things, and there’s really nothing “bigger” or “better” when it comes to sex than threesomes or foursomes. Not only do you have twice – or three times – the visual stimulation, you also have several different physical sensations going on at once. When you take all emotion whatsoever out of it and think about it like a guy does – that is, looking at it from a purely physical standpoint – it’s not hard to see why threesomes are so popular. Many women enjoy threesomes as well, if they are secure and confident in themselves, their relationships and their sexuality. Sometimes, three’s not really a crowd.

Will A Threesome Destroy Your Relationship?

Some women – and men too – absolutely refuse to have an open relationship or even consider having a threesome. Some girls are afraid that if they are open to having a threesome, it will ruin their relationship. Not only can jealousy ruin a threesome, it can hurt too. It can also be hard to imagine going back to a normal sex life after introducing a threesome or a foursome. How can you ever top that? How can you ever keep your man from wanting to add another girl every time? There are definitely a lot of concerns for women when it comes to thinking about having a threesome or foursome. How can you handle those concerns?

A threesome won’t ruin a relationship or even damage it, in and of itself. It’s what can happen when there’s no clear communication between all the parties involved in the threesome, and when someone’s expectations are too high. There are, however, ways you can avoid trouble when it comes to inviting another person – or persons – into your bed.

How To Make A Threesome Successful

First, talk to your partner about having a threesome. Is it something you both want? Do you want to have a threesome just to please your partner, or is it something you would enjoy too? Making sure you’re on the same starting page is the first step. When you’ve come to the decision that having a threesome is something you and your partner would both enjoy doing together, talk to each other and establish some ground rules. What are you both expecting out of a threesome? Is your partner expecting you to have threesomes often if you’re comfortable with it, or is this a once-in-a-lifetime deal? Talk about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with, and how you want to deal with things that make you uncomfortable. Once you’ve reached common ground when it comes to the threesome, above all, make sure anyone else that is involved in your threesome is in the know too.

Would You Have A Threesome?

32% of users who answered our online threesome poll suggested they would “absolutely” have a threesome, no questions asked. 40% suggested they would have a threesome if they were with “the right group of friends.” Only a small percentage – 29% to be exact – suggested they wouldn’t even consider having a threesome. So are threesomes “in?” Would you have a threesome? Take our poll here, only on Ask Dan and Jennifer.

Sick Or Sexy – When He’s Daddy In The Bedroom

Paul Carlson — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 14:42:27 +0000

Everyone has their own kinks and fantasies that they like to play out in the bedroom. Whether it’s simple, missionary on top sex, or really kinky BDSM, everyone has something they like and enjoy doing when it comes to their own sexual satisfaction. Many people enjoy talking dirty, or roleplaying in the bedroom, but is there ever a point where this can go too far?

What happens when we start carry those term of endearment into the bedroom? Watch this video to find out if it’s normal to call each other ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy,’ even when the kids aren’t around.

Using “Mommy” And “Daddy” To Refer To Your Partner

Lots of parents call each other “Mommy” or “Daddy” in front of the kids, and sometimes when they’re alone just out of habit. This is a completely normal part of parental life, especially if you’re teaching very little ones what to call your partner. If you refer to your partner as “Jeff” all the time, but ask your little one to call him “Daddy,” she might get confused. It can definitely help teach little ones if you and your partner call each other “Mommy” and “Daddy” too. But is there ever a point where these terms of endearment aren’t normal?

Using “Mommy” And “Daddy” In The Bedroom

It may be out of habit, or it may be a bit of fun roleplaying, but sometimes the terms “Mommy” and “Daddy” get carried away in the bedroom. Some people even like to roleplay with those terms, with “Mommy” punishing her bad boy, or her partner asking, “Who’s your Daddy?” This may seem strange, or even sick, but it’s just part of roleplaying. If both partners are into it, and both partners are comfortable and emotionally mature enough to realize that it is just a roleplaying game, there’s certainly nothing wrong with it, just as there is nothing wrong with playing “teacher” in the bedroom, or “french maid.” As long as everyone involved is having fun and isn’t getting hurt, there’s no reason to think there’s something “wrong” with you. If someone becomes uncomfortable, find a new game to play. It’s as simple as that.

When It Crosses The Line

There is a point where being “Mommy” in the bedroom (or being “Daddy” for that matter) can cross the line. If you’re playing “Mommy” and your partner is thinking of his own mother, there are some psychological issues there that probably need to be addressed. Although, your partner is the only one that will ever know that, so it’s up to him to seek help if he finds that he’s having these kids of issues. Also, if being “Daddy” in the bedroom leads a man into psychological or physical abuse of his own children because he’s so into it, that is definitely a call for professional help. Other than that, it’s very hard for two, emotionally mature, consenting adults to make roleplaying “Mommy” and “Daddy” in the bedroom go too far. So what do you think? Is it sick or sexy?

Cuckold Fantasy: My Wife With Another Man – Why Do I Like It?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 01:00:28 +0000

Everyone has a secret sex fantasy – what’s yours? Maybe you have a shoe fetish, or perhaps you enjoy BDSM or biting. What is considered outside the norm for you? What if you like watching your wife get banged by another man and really enjoy it? Is this considered abnormal? Should you stop indulging in your fantasy? Here’s what you want to know about 2 guy, 1 girl threesomes and more.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Cuckold question: I like watching my wife get banged by a well endowed man. I love watching her climax in ways she doesn’t with me. Is this TOO weird?

–John, IN

Who Gets To Determine What Is Normal?

First of all, what is considered “normal” in this society? There are so many varieties of people with different cultures and different backgrounds who all do things a little bit differently that it’s practically impossible for anyone to determine a baseline of what is considered “normal” or “abnormal.” With that said, people might think your fantasy is weird if you share it with them, but what about those guys who like wearing women’s underwear – do you think that’s weird? Everyone’s own fantasy or fetish isn’t considered strange to them, but other people’s fantasies are labeled “weird” or “abnormal.” It’s all subjective, so worry less about what is “normal” and what isn’t and focus more on how to get what you and your partner both want in a sexually healthy relationship.

Confidence In Your Sexuality And Masculinity

If you enjoy watching your wife have sex with another man and are genuinely cool with it, you deserve some kudos! While involving other women with their wife in a 2-girl, 1 guy threesome is a typical man’s fantasy, the tables often get turned when a woman suggests bringing another man into the equation. Most men are too self conscious, too jealous and too insecure with themselves to really enjoy watching their partner be with another person sexually. If you’re not bothered by watching your wife become sexually intimate with another man and truly enjoy watching her be pleasured in this way, it speaks volumes about your confidence in yourself and your masculinity.

Have Fun!

The best way to judge if your sexual fantasy or fetish is “crossing” the line is to ask yourself the basic question – does it involve only consenting adults? Is everyone comfortable with what is going on? If so, have fun! As long as you and everyone involved can legally consent to sexual activity and no one is being harmed or doing something they’re uncomfortable doing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your sexual fetish or fantasy. Make sure your relationship with your partner stays strong and healthy, and communicate with them regularly about what you like, what she likes and what the third person likes during sex. If any hard feelings come up, talk to your partner about them. If you have any suggestions about what would turn you on more, or if your partner has any suggestions about what would turn them on more, it’s important to keep an open line of communication going when it comes to your sex life. The biggest reason that threesome fantasies crumble is that partners have a breakdown in communication – enjoy yourself and talk to your partner often for a healthy and happy sex life!

Help! I Fantasize About Being A Prostitute!

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 31 May 2009 21:40:05 +0000

Everyone has a fantasy – some, more than others. Many people choose not to act out their fantasies, afraid that their fantasies will offend someone, or embarrass them. You can, however, act out your fantasy in a safe, fun way with your partner, making your sex life that much sweeter. How can you act out your fantasy with your partner, especially if you’re not sure that they share your fantasy?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I fantasize about being a prostitute, having sex with strangers and being naughty – having to do what the other person wants and even getting paid for it. I want to experience this fantasy with my husband, but he’s not comfortable being the ‘dominant’ one. How can we pull this off so that everyone has fun?

–Lisa, WA

Consenting Adults Get The Green Light

When it comes to acting out a fantasy, as long as your fantasy is safe (as in, doesn’t cause anyone harm) and is between consenting adults, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to act out your fantasy and have fun! No matter what your fantasy is, if you’re not hurting anyone and everyone involved is okay with it, there’s nothing that should stop you from satisfying your deepest sexual desires and fantasies.

Sexual Compatibility

That said, many people don’t share the same fantasies and might be uncomfortable with another person’s fantasy. How can you tell if your partner is sexually compatible with you and your fantasy without putting yourself out there and risking embarrassment? The trick is not to have a “sit down” talk with your partner. Often, this can be overwhelming for a partner, especially if your fantasy is something they’ve never had any experience with before. Try introducing your partner to your fantasy slowly, by dressing in some lingerie or a costume that suits your fantasy, or even simply playing with dominant and submissive roles. If your partner shows that he or she is interested in your fantasy, or turned on by what you’re doing, try introducing a little more each time until you’re really ready to tell them about what you want to act out and what your fantasy is.

Fantasy Box

Many couples and partners use something called a “fantasy box” where they can submit their fantasies on paper in a safe and fun environment. With a fantasy box, you can write your fantasies down on a piece of paper, and slip it into the box. Every week (or however often you would like), you can pull a piece of paper out of the box and act out the fantasy. It’s fun to be spontaneous, and both you and your partner already know you’ll be acting out a fantasy, so you’ll be in a great mindset to have a good time! Some fantasies take a bit of preparation, so, it can also be fun to pull a fantasy out of the box a few weeks ahead of time and go shopping together for toys, lubes or costumes – whatever your fantasy requires!

The bottom line is, as long as your fantasy – whether it be acting out the fantasy of being a prostitute or something else – is between consenting adults, and you introduce your fantasy slowly to your partner or use a fantasy box, you can have fun indulging in your sexual desires and grow closer to your partner.

He Feels A Threesome Will Solve Our Sex Issues – I Disagree

Paul Carlson — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 00:34:27 +0000

Threesomes have long been touted as the “coveted” sexual thing that all men want but can rarely have. If your partner has brought up having a threesome in your relationship, you’re likely not surprised – unless a “threesome” is your partner’s idea of revving up your sex life. While this can help two people who are very secure in their relationship, secure in themselves and secure in their sex life, if you’re not any of those a threesome can be disastrous. So how can you spice up your sex life without having a threesome?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My partner wants to bring a third person into our bedroom, but I want to fix our sexual issues first. Our sex life is sketchy at best… I don’t see adding a third person (threesome) any time soon and feel that he needs to show me more attention and make sure that I feel secure before adding a third person. How do I talk to him about this without causing a fight and him blowing up?

–Alexis, TX

Roleplaying

It can be hurtful to think about it in this way, but gal’s got to wonder, “Does he want a threesome because he’s not interested in me sexually anymore?” While you may be confident that your partner loves you and wants to be with you on a romantic level, hearing him introduce the idea of bringing another woman into the bedroom can definitely make you feel inadequate. Is this wrong on his part? Not likely – he’s trying to find a solution to his problem and trying to involve you at the same time. So it’s time to think outside the box a little bit. What if you roleplayed a different person entirely for him? Wore a wig, a new outfit, or even played a different part for a little while? Your partner may become very turned on by this, especially by seeing you so “out of yourself.” It’s almost like having an affair without having an affair, and the excitement and different feelings of roleplaying can really set your sex life on fire.

He Can Roleplay Too

Are you bored in the bedroom? You could be initiating sex less (thus leaving your partner high and dry) because you too are bored, or unsatisfied with your sex life. That doesn’t mean that you love your partner any less, but a little safe excitement never hurt anyone. To that end, if your partner likes the roleplaying idea, ask if he’ll try it too. Share with him some of your fantasies (being arrested by a dirty police officer anyone?) and let him decide which he feels comfortable with and let him surprise you. You might find that your own sexual desires are awakened, without something as drastic as a threesome.

Thinking Out Of The Box

Roleplaying is just one way to spice up your sex life. Start thinking outside the box – introduce toys, books, magazines, videos, costumes, lingerie, lubricants…anything sexual that will take you outside of that normal comfort zone and put you in an exciting, new sexual place. Heck, it may even be having sex on the couch instead of the bed that does it! There are so many different things you can do to give your sex life, well, a new life! All you have to do is have an open mind and get a little creative! Browse the internet for some fun ideas and when it comes to roleplaying, never, ever forget that the Star Wars Princess Leia Slave costume is just about every guy’s wet dream. Have fun!

Asexual Wanting BDSM But Not Sex – Is It The Medication?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 13:52:01 +0000

A self-proclaimed asexual begins taking medication and now finds herself having a strong sex drive – not only wanting sex, but BDSM as well! Is this normal? Is she falling out of the asexual orientation, or does her medication have something to do with it? It may be confusing and intimidating, but it’s important to get to the root of the issue – what is really going on here?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been asexual all my life. I met my boyfriend on an asexual website. I’m taking medication and now I’m getting a sex drive. Now, all I can think about is BDSM. I can live with normal sex, but I can’t be happy with BDSM. My mind would never accept this type of lifestyle. What do I do?

–Alyssa, Virginia

What is “Asexual”

“Asexual” is a sexual orientation, much like being gay, bisexual, lesbian or straight. Asexual people usually do not desire sex, and form emotional and satisfying relationships without being sexual at all. It’s comparable to celibacy, with the exception that asexuality is a sexual orientation and not a choice like celibacy is. You might want to compare it to the difference between being a lesbian (a sexual orientation) or just choosing to have a threesome because it’s fun. Asexuality is like celibacy, but it’s something that is rooted deep inside of the person’s identity rather than a choice.

A Sudden Interest In BDSM – Is It The Medication?

In this particular situation, experiencing a different set of emotions and feelings right after beginning a new medication should not be taken lightly. Anti-depressants, epilepsy medications and other type of mind altering medications can make you feel all sorts of different ways, even ways that you would have never expected or anticipated. If you’ve just started taking a new medication and find that your emotional and even sex drive is different than before you began the medication, it’s important to talk to your doctor. Talk with your medical doctor or even a psychiatrist to find out whether these new feelings are a side effect of the medication and will dissipate or not. If these new feelings are a result of the medication, ask your doctor if you are able to switch to a different medication that may not cause these side effects, or how to best handle the side effects until your body gets used to the medication.

It’s Not The Medication – Now What?

If you’ve found out that the medication has not caused your newfound desires and fantasies, it’s time to dig deep and start questioning yourself. You may still be asexual, but if you’re having desires and fantasies, find out where your comfort zones are. Are you okay with incorporating sex into your life? What about the BDSM part? In this situation, this particular person is uncomfortable with acting out on her BDSM fantasies. Why? Examine yourself and ask yourself why you’re comfortable with some things and not others. Think about trying BDSM, or slowly easing yourself into it. Try light roleplaying, or even a little dressing up, without harming yourself or harming someone else. There are lots of fun ways to get into BDSM without starting with the whips and chains. You might find out that this is something you really enjoy, with or without sex!

Remember, experimenting with your desires and fantasies is fun – it’s not supposed to be intimidating or make you feel ashamed. As long as you and anyone else involved is having fun and isn’t getting hurt, what is the harm in trying a few things out? It could be something that really fulfills your life, even asexually.

Shoe Fetish – How Can I Find A Partner To Enjoy It With Me?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 13:15:28 +0000

Many people have fetishes, whatever they may be. Some of the most common fetishes, however, are bondage and shoe fetishes. If you have a shoe fetish or another type of fetish, it might seem daunting to try to find a partner to enjoy your fetish with, but with a little searching, you can definitely find someone who likes shoes – or anything else – as much as you do.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I love shoes — I mean, I really love shoes. Some people might say I have a sexual fetish with them. How can I find someone that loves shoes as much as I do?

–Richard, New York

Finding A Partner That Shares Your Fetish

While it may not be particularly easy to find a partner that you enjoy sharing your fetish with, it’s definitely not impossible. There are several ways to meet someone that likes what you like!

While you can search your local newspaper ads or even just visit places that people that share your fetish would visit – such as shoe stores – one of the easiest and most versatile ways to find someone that you can enjoy your fetish with is online.

There are a number of websites you can visit, or you can simply do a search to find websites that cater to your particular type of fetish. Browse around a few of them and you might be surprised – through forums, message boards or straight up personals, you can find someone that enjoys your fetish as much as you do!

You can also try searching through traditional websites, such as Craigslist or other similar websites for personal ads – or try putting up your own personal ad! You might not meet someone to enjoy your fetish with you right away, but with time and persistence, it’s possible that you’ll meet a partner that you really enjoy spending time with in and outside of your fetish.

Introducing Your Fetish

If you meet someone to share your fetish with online, especially if it’s through a fetish website, breaking the ice about your fetish isn’t difficult at all – in fact, it’s what brought you together!

However, you may find someone you’re interested in that you’ve met outside of your fetish. Breaking the ice about your fetish should be done slowly and carefully – you wouldn’t want to scare your partner away!

If you have a shoe fetish, you could start by going shoe shopping with your partner and trying on shoes together. Let them know what you think looks good! If you have a bondage fetish, try introducing a pair of fuzzy handcuffs or a tie in the bedroom.

By working your way up, you can make sure that you don’t scare your partner away from your fetish (or you) and you can help your partner to learn to enjoy your fetish as much as you do!

If you have a fetish, no matter how strange or unusual it is, it’s nice to be able to share that with someone you enjoy spending time with. As long as you’re not harming anyone and everyone involved is a consenting adult, let yourself have fun and open up to others who enjoy your fetish as well!

You might find that you meet someone truly special that you share a connection with both in and out of your particular fetish!

What ME a Sex Addict?

Melody Brooke — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:09:49 +0000

Only a few of us think that the way we participate in sexual activity is addictive, but often the beginnings of sexual addictions show up in covert ways that we may miss if we are not attentive.

I just spent three days at a symposium on addiction and the speakers there reminded me of just how ubiquitous sexual additions are in our society.

Most of the time I tend to think of men as the ones harboring secret sexual addictions but, of course, women are just as subject to sexual addictions as men. We really are not that different, are we?

The Truth About Sexual Addiction

Strangely, most sexual addictions have little to do with sex, other than the fact that the behaviors take place in the context of sexuality. Exhibitionism is really about wanting to feel the power of having shocked someone. Pornography is about fantasy.

Most of the others, like sadomasochistic fetishes are all about regaining a sense of power and control. Strangely enough, even the avoidance of sex can be a “addictive” behavior according to Maureen Canning of the Meadows Treatment Center.

As a wife who avoided sex over the course of many years of my previous marriages, this one got my attention. I was, as many women are, quite able to enjoy a courtship and “honeymoon” phase of an active and athletic sex life during the beginning phases of my relationships.

But, as the relationship moved out of the fantasy stage and into the reality of a real, day to day set of interactions, sex disappeared. It didn’t disappear because my husband wasn’t interested. No, it disappeared because I became angry and disgusted with his continuing to be happy with sex as the lifeblood of our relationship.

Once we were married I think I expected our relationship to magically blossom into a real intimate connection. Never mind that I had no clue how to do that. But I was certain it was my husband’s fault because HE was such an angry, avoidant, workaholic.

Certainly I was the innocent victim of his deliberate withholding of time, attention and kindness. So, I withheld sexual contact from him because I was so angry with him. I never thought of it as being addictive behavior.

But if you re-frame how you think about what addiction is, you can easily see how it really is an addictive process. As Maureen Canning says, most sexual addiction is really about power and control.

I was clearly attempting to get a sense of power in the relationship by moving into the Self-Protective withdrawal position. I put up barriers to prevent myself from feeling vulnerable to his angry, avoidant behaviors. I did this in an attempt to get power and control over feeling like his Victim…

Sexual Anorexia

How many wives do this? I asked Maureen if she new of any other resources for information about this form of addiction she calls “Sexual Anorexia” and she directed me to a book by Patrick Carnes. I have not yet gotten a copy of the book but I do think it’s fascinating.

A lot of unhappy husbands will probably relate to this scenario. Maureen talked about the “offending” quality of this behavior. I have to admit I never would have thought of myself as doing any “offending” by this behavior, but I was clearly damaging my relationship.

The word offending does bring up legal or even criminal meaning, but one simple definition is “wrong”. And it was indeed “wrong” of me to withhold sex in order to meet my own power and control needs.

But don’t you offending men take heart at this either, because addictive relationships generally require two addicts. The partners to the Sexual Anorexic are obviously the “Co-dependant” in the relationship and just as addicted in their own way. One partner is generally a “Sex Addict” and the other is the “Sexual Anorexic”. Both are just opposite ends of the spectrum from the other.

The more classic “Sex Addict” is the one who gets a sense of power and control by engaging in some form of sexual activity. Of course, the sex act itself is mood enhancing and can be a way to alter an unhappy mood.

Where Is The Real Problem?

Sex is not meant to be about power and control or even mood enhancing. Sex is supposed to be intimate, passionate play with your partner. Any other covert use for it is “wrong” or “offensive”. If passionate play is not how either of you experience your sexual relationship, then there is a problem.

So What Do You Do If You Are Using Sex Addictively?

First of all you have to just recognize that you are using sex (or your sexual power as in Sexual Anorexia) in a way that is harmful to your relationship. Once you recognize what you are doing you have to stop the offensive behavior and deal with the feelings that are buried underneath the behavior.

This can be a simple but uncomfortable process, or it can be a complex and debilitating one. If you begin the process of eliminating your sexual addictive behaviors and find yourself feeling overwhelmed. Don’t hesitate to call a professional because, like any addiction, if it is severe enough it can be life threatening.

No joke, the feelings underneath the sexual addictions can be very intense and lead to severe withdrawal symptoms. Take care of yourself as you open your eyes to how you may have been unwittingly causing harm to your relationship.

How Keeping A Journal Can Reveal If Your Lover Is Cheating

Jim Walthby — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 13:05:32 +0000

Our minds aren’t perfect at remembering special details and specific facts. Far from it.

Our brains work selectively; they store and recall certain bits of information while forgetting others.

For example, you might remember, for whatever reason, a phone number that has little or no importance to you, but forget the birthday of someone you really should buy a present for.

For the most part, this selective/subjective memory trait creates no real problems in our day to day lives. We can look up a number if we forget it, or ask a friend of a friend for the day of the month on which someone’s birthday falls.

When Selective Memory Is A Problem

However, sometimes it can make things slightly trickier. One such time is when we suspect our partner may be cheating on us. Imagine you walk into the room just as your partner is putting down the phone and they seem a little on edge or tense as they turn around and see you.

The incident may stick out in your mind for weeks, niggling at you, making you wonder: did it mean something, was it a sign? Fast forward to a different occasion, when your partner returns home from a business meeting or other engagement late and immediately jumps in the shower, even before properly saying ‘hi’ to you.

You might rationalize their behavior by thinking: “Well, they were probably tired or something. They surely just felt like refreshing themselves with a shower,” then forget all about it.

You might be 100% right, but that’s not really the point. The strange phone incident and the unusual dash to the bathroom on returning home could both have happened because your partner is cheating on you, and conversely they both could be wholly innocent and not caused by infidelity.

The point here is, remembering one incident over the other and thus giving it more weight or meaning than the other in your mind could potentially make it much more difficult to ascertain what is or isn’t going on, whether they’re trustworthy or not.

So, to combat the human tendency to selectively remember and therefore consider some incidents more than others, and therefore improve your chances of revealing the truth, you should keep an objective, non-selective record of everything that happens. Here’s how it works:

Keep A Journal

Use a journal or diary, not a digital method of recording events, changes in behavior/habits/moods, etc. Noting things in your own handwriting allows each piece of information recorded to be absorbed more deeply and permanently by your mind than if you type them out quickly on a computer.

Also, paper records (a diary, journal, etc.) are usually more portable than laptops, PC’s, etc., which could come in handy if/when you spot a potential sign of infidelity away from home.

Be Objective

Keep your journal as objective and neutral as humanly possible. Note the time something unusual, strange or suspicious occurs, if you’ve noticed it before, and what it consists of.

For example, saying: “Today (insert date) they came home 2 hours later than usual from work, it’s happened once before and they offered no reason or explanation for their lateness” is much better and more useful in the long run than: “They came home late again! They had no reason to be late at all. It must mean something.”

So, be specific, neutral, accurate and non-judgmental. A time will come when you’ll make a decision on whether or not you can trust them and it’ll be then when an emotional response will be completely warranted and understandable. Until then, record what happens like a robot. I’ll help unravel the mystery and reveal what the hell is or isn’t going on.

Keep Your Journal Hidden

Finally, keep your journal/record hidden away somewhere where it won’t be stumbled upon by your partner. If they ARE cheating and find your diary, it could easily make them more secretive and more careful not to give out noticeable signs of their infidelity in the future, thus making your job of uncovering the truth more difficult.

If they find it and are NOT cheating, they could feel insulted or hurt that you don’t fully trust them. That’s an issue that, if appropriate, can be brought up by you after you’ve completed your little ‘investigation’. For now, secretiveness is quite possibly one of your greatest allies in discovering whether or not your partner’s having an affair.

Is My Foot Fetish Weird?

Paul Carlson — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:05:04 +0000

Many people have fetishes. In fact, most people do. Many men have breast or butt fetishes, although those aren’t considered weird because most guys like breasts and butts.

Other fetishes, such as foot fetishes or back fetishes may be considered strange because the majority of people don’t have these types of fetishes.

Does that mean you’re not normal? How do you tell your partner about the fetish you enjoy?

Is my foot fetish really weird?

You’re not hurting anyone, are you?

You’d be surprised at how many men do actually have foot fetishes. While it’s not the majority by any means, if you have a foot fetish, you’re certainly not alone! Foot fetishes aren’t wrong, bad or weird at all, although some people are going to think they are because your fetish is different from theirs.

That’s okay. People are entitled to their own feelings but they’re also entitled to their own fetishes. It’s a live and let live sort of situation. If your fetish isn’t hurting anyone, namely yourself or your partner, it’s perfectly fine.

There are really only a few simple guidelines to tell if your fetish is something that you should be concerned about. You don’t want to hurt anyone, you don’t want it to be illegal and it should always be between two consenting adults. If you’ve covered all your bases, your fetish is probably fine. If you’re really that worried, see a sex therapist. Otherwise, enjoy your fetish!

Getting your partner to participate.

This is where it can be tricky. If you come right out and tell your partner that you have a foot fetish or other type of fetish, it can turn them off immediately.

That’s not necessarily because they won’t enjoy it, it’s just that society has programmed our brains to register immediately what society accepts as normal and what it doesn’t. These things have been drilled in since childhood, and it can be very difficult for some people to get past them.

Don’t give up.

Don’t give up though! If you have a foot fetish or other fetish, try introducing it to your partner without an introduction. Try massaging your partner’s feet slowly, kissing them and eventually licking them. At each stage, judge their response.

If they seem into it, have at it! If they seem to shy away, ask them how it feels. Are they too ticklish? You can also spread this out over a period of time, doing a little more each time you have an encounter with your partner.

This works well for other types of fetishes as well, including bondage or sadism and masochism. Just remember to make sure no one gets really hurt!

After you’ve kind of warmed your partner up to your fetish in an inadvertent way, you can talk to them about it. Don’t be afraid to be open and honest at this point, especially if they’ve been responsive to it.

Start by saying that you really enjoyed what happened and go from there. If your partner wasn’t responsive to it, now is the time to be honest and let them know that you really enjoy your fetish.

You and your partner might be able to make a compromise. You’d be surprised though. Your partner may end up having a fetish that you didn’t know about either!

4 Secrets Guaranteed To Spice Up Your Sex Life

W. Wilcox — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 18:40:42 +0000

Sex is a healthy, fundamental component of all good relationships. It unites men and women everywhere, both physically and emotionally and allows both the guy and the girl to truly unleash and express their animalistic AND sensual sides.

But no one’s sex life is perfect. Things slow down, the energy seems to disappear, it’s not as fun or exciting as either of you would like, in short, it needs improving.

So what can you do to get back (or even create for the first time) that special spark that makes great sex so…well, great? Here are 4 top tips.

1. Play Games

The thing that often grinds sex lives to a halt and makes lovemaking become so much of a hassle is the pressure and responsibility that surrounds the whole subject.

For the man, there’s the burden of having to make the girl reach her own climax. For the woman, there’s the strain of making sure her man is sexually satisfied and not bored and liable to go looking elsewhere for sex or questioning the stability and longevity of the relationship they’re both in.

To counteract these negative pressures, try making having sex a less traditional, scheduled, boring task. Instead, pick a couple of fun games that you can play together that are fun and flirty and that can lead casually and smoothly into the actual sex.

Twister, strip poker and spin-the-bottle are all great games that incorporate physical contact and allow both you and your partner to have a little no-hassle, no-responsibility fun that does or doesn’t have to lead to a bout of impromptu lovemaking.

2. New Locations, New Positions

People often have a very 2-dimensional outlook on the nature of sex and how one should go about having it. The vast, vast majority of people, for example, only have sex in the bedroom.

And even they have a set routine, lights dimmed or off, the same progression through the various stages of sex: a little foreplay, intercourse in missionary and maybe doggy if the guy’s lucky and the girls feeling up to it, then it’s pretty much over. Even if your personal situation has more life than that, sex in the bedroom can still become a drag after a while.

So, switch it up. Think about different locations you can use: the living room, bathroom, kitchen…consider all possibilities, even if they at first seem far-fetched and silly. Also, think about locations away from the home once in a while.

Motels and cheap hotels offer a couple a fresh place to explore each other. Secondly, improvise and experiment with the positions you use. Missionary, girl on top, spoons, and doggy are all great, but always try to mix in a few more unusual, adventurous ones to spice things up.

Even if you find yourself in a tangle with your partner, you’ve still had fun and been spontaneous, which is a key component of any great sex life.

3. Communicate Fantasies

Something few men and women do is talk to their partners about what turns them on, about things they’d like to try, scenarios they’d love to act out, etc. etc. Make telling your partner about things that turn you on a regular thing and, in return, you listen to their previously private fantasies and day-dreams.

If doing it face-to-face is too embarrassing, consider sending saucy messages via email or text message. You’ll find that after reading about what really gets your partner going, you’ll be much more excited and motivated to please them sexually, and they’ll feel the same way back!

4. Special Occasions

When you do the same thing many times, even if it started out feeling new and exciting, it can get a little run-of-the-mill and boring. So, to inject a real sense of passion and renewed excitement into your sex life, make certain evenings special nights in (or out, then in!).

Go the whole way to making it feel almost like a celebration and do whatever’s necessary to separate it from your usual lovemaking sessions. Popular favourites include getting dressed up separately from your partner, perhaps at a friend’s house, then meeting them in a restaurant for a meal.

Then, on returning home, you can indulge each other with a slow and sensual massage or perhaps carry out one or more of the fantasies you’ve been hinting to each other about. From there, sex can begin. Maybe on the floor of the living room or even on the stairs.

Remember, impulsiveness and adventurousness are a turn on, use them to kick-start your sex life!

MMF Threesome Dilemma… Why Can’t My Threesome Have One Woman and Two Men?

Paul Carlson — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 19:15:03 +0000

It’s widely known in society that a man enjoys watching two or more women have sex with each other. A huge fantasy among men is to have a threesome with their partner – two women with him right smack in the middle of them.

Less mentioned, however, is the threesome where there is one woman and two men. What causes a two man-one woman threesome to be much more taboo?

So what’s wrong with an MMF Threesome – one girl and two guys?

The Human Condition

It’s natural for humans to be curious about sex in a variety of different forms. Whether it’s oral sex, anal sex or even sex with someone of the same gender, these are all things that pique the curiosity and interest of a human being.

Men, however, are socially raised to believe that it is not acceptable to be submissive in any way. They’re taught to be macho.

Also socially ingrained into men and all people actually, is that when two people come together, one must be submissive and the other dominant.

This is something that is seen with all mammals and it’s only natural for humans. Understanding why two men being together sexually is considered more taboo than two women being together sexually takes an understanding of the human condition.

If men are taught to never be submissive and when two people are together, one of them must be submissive, if two men are together one of them must become submissive.

Socially, this is unacceptable, yet this is something that is not projected on women. It seems perfectly natural and even erotic for two women to be together sexually and fuels a number of male fantasies.

Exploring Homosexuality

Every person has at least one fleeting thought about sex with someone of the same gender. It’s totally normal! However, because of the mindset that society has placed on people, men having even a fleeting homosexual thought is considered not normal.

Were a man to express this to someone, they would automatically assume that he is gay as opposed to assuming that he is human. Watching two women be together sexually allows a man to explore two people of the same gender being together sexually without being criticized in any way.

Perks of Same Sex Partners

Without having to worry about pregnancy in a sexual relationship, sex between two people of the same gender allows for more enjoyment and freedom.

Another factor that plays into the fact that men enjoy watching two women be together sexually is that women are traditionally more sensual. They tend to take sex and sexual pleasure slower, allowing a man to really watch and enjoy their pleasure.

A threesome with two men and one woman is perfectly normal and actually happens more than one would think. It’s normal and healthy for a person to want to explore all avenues and aspects of sexuality, whether that’s through masturbation, traditional heterosexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex or sex with someone of your own gender.

It helps, however, to have an understanding of the societal pressures that make some sexual activities more or less taboo than another, so you can begin to understand that most sexual desires, thoughts and actions are normal and are simply part of the human condition.

Should I Act On My Threesome Fantasy?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:15:15 +0000

If you’re interested in having a threesome with your friends, you might be a little intimidated about how to approach the situation. Even if you or your friends have hinted at it or joked about it before, it can seem a little awkward bringing up the topic seriously.

How can you approach that subject with your friends without risking anything?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m 34 years old and have recently won a 3 yr battle with cancer. I have a new lease on life and want to live it to the fullest. I have an absolute best guy friend, “Rick”, who is dating my best friend “Abbie”. I have been thinking a lot lately about having a threesome with “Rick” and “Abbie”. I’m just not sure how to broach the subject with either of them. “Rick” and I have joked about it a few times before but I always brushed it aside… Now, how should I go about approaching the subject for real? I love them both, and I don’t want anyone hurt at all.

–Amanda, Kentucky

Your Friends Are Your Friends

First off, if your friends are really your friends, especially if they’ve joked about it before, they’re not going to hang you just for suggesting a threesome for real. You’re all adults and you can talk about the topic as adults.

Simply bring it up, possibly over a glass of wine or after a nice meal, and discuss the situation. Let them know that you’ve been running the idea through your head and it might something you want to try.

Be honest with them. In turn, you’ll find they’ll be honest with you. They might say it was something they were only joking about and they’re not comfortable trying that with you at this point.

That’s okay! Then again, they might say it’s something they’re open to experiencing. You won’t know until you talk to them about it.

When The Mood Is Right

Okay, so you don’t want to approach the topic of having a threesome with your friends over a quick breakfast before work, or when the kids are acting up. If you wait until the mood is right, however, you’ll most likely get the more honest response.

For example, your friends might really be into the idea, but if they’re rushed or otherwise occupied, they’re probably going to brush the idea off.

Approach your friends alone when everyone is at ease and laughing with each other. You’ll get a much better response that way!

Talking About The Details

Some of the most important things to discuss when you approach the topic of having a threesome with your friends is the what, who, when and where. Don’t be afraid to discuss details. For example, would you like to first try a threesome without sexual penetration at all? Will there be condoms involved? How will the subjects of STD’s and possible pregnancy be handled?

What makes you uncomfortable about having a threesome? What turns you on about it? Hashing out the details of the threesome before you actually have one will leave less awkwardness to be had afterwards.

Without talking about the details beforehand, you risk things becoming weird during the threesome if someone does something someone else isn’t comfortable with, and you also run the risk of having things become weird afterwards as well.

Talk about the threesome before with your friends, but also talk to them afterwards as well. Remember that everyone is an adult and that the threesome and things within the threesome can be discussed as adults. Even if the threesome didn’t go as planned, or it really wasn’t your cup of tea, it’s nothing to be ashamed about or embarrassed about.

Just talk to your friends and be honest with them. Similarly, if you really enjoyed the threesome, be sure to be honest with them about that as well! Talk to your friends about the possibility of another threesome. You’ll never know if you don’t approach the topic though!

8 Ways You May be Betraying Your Lover

Scott and Stephen Petullo — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:45:17 +0000

Infidelity comes in many different forms besides having a sexual relationship with someone other than your lover, assuming you’ve agreed to a monogamous relationship with that person.

We’re often asked how romantic betrayal relates to spiritual tenets such as karma and personal destiny. In two words, a lot. Our long-term empirical research firmly indicates that everything you do and say will return to you, and usually not in the same lifetime.

The Big Picture

When looking at the big picture in relation to your love life, it’s important to realize that key circumstances and events, ”good” and “bad,” happen because that’s the way your soul (not your personality) planned them before birth so you can learn your lessons and grow spiritually.

However, you do have free will to make the most of every situation. You can also limit your future life karma by treating others as you want to be treated now. Below we list five ways you may be betraying your lover, possibly even without realizing you’re doing so.

1. Emotional Cheating

You have an emotionally intimate relationship with someone other than your spouse. You’re not sleeping with this other person, but still you have an intimate connection that you explore and nurture. If this sort of relationship isn’t acceptable with your spouse, then you are betraying them.

2. Fantasizing Outside the Relationship

You’re regularly fantasizing about someone else, even while in bed with your partner. If you and your partner have an agreement that it’s okay to do so, then fine, but beyond that, it’s a form of betrayal.

3. Disregarding Personal Health

You stop maintaining your health, take up unhealthy habits that cause your looks to deteriorate and, or otherwise are not making the most of your appearance and looking your best for your partner.

4. Decreasing Sexual Frequency

You limit the amount of sex between you and your significant other. Worse, you start to offer sex to your partner only under certain conditions, perhaps in exchange for something such as giving you more of his or her disposable income.

5. Cutting Off Your Partner

You cut off your lover emotionally or intellectually, or otherwise limit or sever vital human contact. Sure, relationships go through certain stages where you may change the way you relate, but to intentionally starve him or her of the type of emotional or mental contact you had prior is a form of betrayal.

6. Financial Irresponsibility

You are not financially responsible, spend more than you both make or have, and risk his or her good credit standing. Telling your lover he or she should be making more money isn’t an excuse for spending too much.

7. Just Pretending

You pretend you are in lust and love but you aren’t. Nobody likes to be with someone who really isn’t into them, but pretends to be.

8. Loving Someone Else

You are in love with someone else and, or you simply don’t love your partner anymore, yet you remain with them and pretend everything is great because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. This is actually selfish because you are keeping them from being with someone more compatible.

In a karmic sense, all of this behavior is ultimately betrayal and just as negative as fooling around behind your lover’s back. In fact, altering your behavior in any way, to your lover’s detriment, after a commitment has been made, is cheating. What to do if you are on the receiving end, you ask? We don’t recommend retaliating with similar behavior, since it will incur negative karma.

But if you’ve done all you can do to help your relationship, and your partner refuses to do their part, it is your right to sever the connection and leave if the betrayal or betrayals push the union beyond repair. You won’t incur any negative karma if you leave as peacefully and fairly as you can.

MILF Fantasy – Should I Have Sex With My Ex’s Mom?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 11:01:58 +0000

When it comes to dating, finding the opportunity to make your move can be intimidating and frustrating. Fortunately, sometimes the universe smiles in your favor and gives you a golden opportunity.

What if you don’t take it, only to realize later on that you wished you would have taken it? Have you lost the opportunity forever?

Realizing It Too Late

Whether you were at a dinner party where your prospective partner had a little too much wine and let you give them a massage, or whether you’re in a dark theater and their hand gently caresses yours, a golden opportunity is what it is. It’s the perfect time to make your move and see what happens and where it goes.

If you find that you’ve only noticed this opportunity after the opportunity has already passed, you may be feeling angry at yourself for missing it or realizing it too late. You’re not alone!

Plenty of people miss great opportunities in the dating world, although that might not make it any easier for you to cope with an opportunity missed. The question then becomes, have you totally blown it?

Recreating The Chance

Sometimes when you miss a chance to get with someone, you have a chance to recreate the opportunity and try again. While this doesn’t always happen, you can try. Think about how to recreate what happened when you missed your “golden opportunity.”

Did it happen at the movie theater? Invite your prospective date to another movie. Do what you can to recreate the mood and ambiance of your opportunity.

You Might Have Missed Out

Recreating your missed opportunity might be a good idea, but it doesn’t always work and you should realize that before giving it a go. Many times, people make decisions that they wish they hadn’t later. For example, that great massage after the dinner party might have been something that person regretted or wished hadn’t happened.

They might be grateful it didn’t go any farther than that. Be prepared to find out that your missed opportunity happened only because of a lapse in judgment.

Picking Up The Spare

Being successful in recreating your golden opportunity can feel a bit like picking up the spare in bowling. Consider that your potential partner may have opened up the opportunity the first time because they like you. It is certainly possible.

If this is the case, they might be disappointed that you didn’t take them up on it, but they could still be open to taking it further if you pursue making a move of your own. If this is the case, you’ll likely be more successful in recreating your opportunity and nabbing a date or a kiss.

If this should happen, you can easily explain to your date that you didn’t realize the opportunity was knocking the first time around but you’re definitely into them and want to take it further.

No matter which way you go about it, you’re going to have to accept the fact that you might have blown it. Then again, you might not have. The only way to find out is to try again. Recreate your opportunity and see what happens. You might be surprised!

Are My Sexual Fetishes And Kinky Fantasies Bad?

Paul Carlson — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:46:16 +0000

Almost everyone has a sexual fetish or fantasy of some kind, but many people don’t like to admit it.

Society has put sort of a damper on being open and honest about what turns us on sexually, however, most of it is healthy and even natural.

Most fetishes and fantasies aside though, some of them can be dangerous or harmful. How do you know if what turns you on goes too far?

Are sexual fetishes bad?

Are fantasies healthy?

Healthy Fetishes and Fantasies

First, let’s distinguish between a fetish and a fantasy. A fetish is in part an obsession on one particular thing whereas a fantasy can incorporate several different sexual and non sexual elements.

You’ve probably heard of a fetish before, such as a foot fetish, and who hasn’t had a sexual or non sexual fantasy? You may, in fact, have both fetishes and fantasies. That’s perfectly normal. It only means that you’re human.

So what is a healthy fetish or fantasy? Well, there’s no “list” of what’s healthy and what’s not, so it’s something you need to determine yourself. Does your fetish or fantasy make you uncomfortable in any way?

Don’t use others’ reactions as a guide. Someone might find that a fetish for crotchless panties disgusting when there’s really no harm at all in enjoying crotchless panties. It’s really a classic example of “to each his own.”

What if your fetish or fantasy is a little more extreme than that? Do you like S&M pornography or do you enjoy biting or being bitten during sex? These are still relatively healthy and normal fetishes, although that is where it starts to get a little hairy.

When Does It Cross The Line?

Basically, it crosses the line when someone gets hurt and they don’t want to. Now, in S&M and some other fetishes and fantasies, people do get hurt a little.

It all boils down to consent. If all parties involved are consenting, there really is no harm in . . . well, a little harm. It does go too far though. If you’re really hurting someone and they don’t like it. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be “harmful.”

If any other person involved isn’t comfortable with what you’re doing, you’ve crossed the line. Back up a little and find another way to enjoy your fetishes and fantasies without harming someone or making them uncomfortable in any way.

That said, there are some fetishes or fantasies that might signal you need some help. If you have any questions about whether your fetishes and fantasies are normal, run it by a therapist or more specifically a sex therapist. Most fantasies are normal but in rare cases where someone might fantasize about really hurting someone else, it’s time to seek help.

If you’re worried that your fantasy or fetish isn’t normal, keep in mind that there’s a very wide range for what “normal” is. Some people fantasize about phone sex while others think feet are the most erotic thing in the world. Some women fantasize about a sexy pirate with rock hard abs sweeping them off their feet while others just want to spank their partners.

As long as everyone involved is comfortable and consenting, there is nothing wrong with indulging your fetishes and fantasies! Remember that everyone is different and unless someone is getting hurt or is uncomfortable, or you are fantasizing about really hurting someone, just enjoy the ride!

Peeping Tom – How Do I Turn My Fantasy Into Reality?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:33:53 +0000

Voyeurism. Watching. Peeping.

It’s not all bad…

Many people find themselves in the situation where they’re watching someone having sex, and they’re a little surprised to find out they enjoy it.

Everyone has a little bit of voyeurism in them, but what happens if you want to take it to the next level? What is okay and what isn’t?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Living next door is a beautiful girl my age. We are both 18. We have been friends and have flirted and done other fun things. My bedroom looks over at hers. I have sometimes seen her undressing and doing other sexy things. The other night I saw another guy in her room. They were making out. The shades were left open. To be honest I would like to see her doing it. I would like to watch them have sex. What suggestions would you give for me watching them without being caught? Could she want me to see her having sex? I want to do it with her, if I see them doing it. Should I tell her? What would I say? How do I say that I would like to be with her?

-Roger, PA

Do they know I’m watching?

Most of the time, someone who wants to be watched or doesn’t care will leave their window curtains or blinds up. Chances are, this is what happened if you’re able to get a good view of your neighbor or someone else while they’re undressing or having sex. It’s actually very unlikely that they don’t know you’re watching.

Does that make it right? It depends. If you’re having to do a lot of maneuvering, such as using binoculars or there just happens to be this one spot in the blinds that allows you to get a view, it’s probable that your object of affection doesn’t want to be watched. You might want to back off, because this could get you in a fair amount of trouble.

If they’re leaving their blinds wide open and you can see them while eating your dinner, you can be pretty sure they’re doing it intentionally.

Is it okay to watch them?

If you’ve been watching someone, such as an attractive neighbor or friend, undress and possibly even have sex with another person, you’ll likely find yourself quite turned on. This is normal. We all like to watch someone have sex in some form or another. Why do you think pornography is such a successful industry? If you find that you’re interested in taking your peeping to the next level, you’re not the only one.

How can I approach them?

This can be tricky. You don’t want to start out the conversation by saying, “So . . . I’ve been watching you.” That can lead to some pretty uncomfortable situations. Just approach them the same way you would approach anyone with whom you are interested in starting a relationship. Ask them out on a date, or have coffee with them. If you really want to take it to the next level, get yourself on neutral ground with them so you can get to know them outside of their bedroom.

Can’t I just keep peeping?

If you’re intimidated by asking them out, you might be inclined to just continue to watch them from afar. This can develop into unhealthy obsessions, so this is not something you want to do.

Take a break from the peeping and find a real partner to hang out with, even if it’s not the person you’ve been watching. You’ll find that spending time with a real, live, breathing person is far better than watching someone through a window. If you find yourself unable to let go and you continue to peep, you may want to seek help.

All in all, watching your neighbor or someone else undress or have sex can be enticing and fun if they’re leaving their blinds wide open enough for you to see it. It’s perfectly fine to show normal interest in them and even ask them out on a date and spend time with them in the real world. Don’t make peeping a habit though. It can turn into an ugly habit that you can’t break away from.

Sexual Fetishes – Is My Smoking Fetish Weird?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 14:00:08 +0000

Everyone has different turn-ons, ranging from turn-ons that seem relatively mild to turn-ons that seem to be completely out there and fetishistic.

How do you know if what turns you on is normal or not? Should you continue to do what turns you on, even if other people think it’s weird?

Many people have these same questions and are wondering what to do about their turn ons. What should you do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m a 59 year old male and I have always found the sight of a woman smoking a cigarette to be very arousing. I am fortunate that my wife (an inveterate smoker) understands this and uses it to excite me but (the question is from both of us) is this weird? Have you heard of it before?

-Marty, Pennsylvania

Are your turn-ons normal?

Let’s take a look at normal for a moment… Human beings can’t really be considered normal. There is such a wide range of likes, dislikes, habits and more from person to person that you can’t really pin anything down and consider it “the norm.”

That said, what turns you on is probably just fine! Do you like it when women wear high heels? Do you like to wear the high heels yourself? Do you get turned on when women are smoking a cigarette? Go with it! As long as your turn-ons don’t involve harming other people or doing anything illegal in any way, your turn-ons are perfectly fine.

Enjoy and indulge in what gets you excited!

Don’t scrutinize yourself, or let others do so.

Although people are different in so many ways, that doesn’t stop them from judging others. Human beings have a bad habit of passing judgment on their neighbors when they themselves are doing something that would be considered “strange” by someone else’s standards.

Guess what? Everybody is different! Don’t let others try to tell you that you are weird or strange, unless your turn-ons include something that would cause harm to another or that is illegal. If not, then take comfort in the fact that the person judging you is most likely insecure themselves.

On the same token, don’t scrutinize yourself. If you think your own turn-ons are weird and they make you uncomfortable, don’t do anything about them. Chances are, however, that your turn-ons are perfectly fine to you and you should accept yourself for who you are.

Find someone to play with.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to find someone who likes to play the same way you do. Find someone who shares your interests and shares your turn-ons. If there are two of you who are turned on by the same thing, it will be more fun for you to both engage in what turns the other on! It’s a perfect give and take. It may take time and patience to find that special someone, but if you keep trying, you’ll end up winning out. You can then share all of your turn-ons with your partner, and enjoy them together.

Unless your turn-ons are dangerous, they’re fine for you. If they work for you, let them! Don’t worry so much. Everyone has their own quirks and way that they do things. Just be a good sport. If you don’t want others judging you for what turns you on, don’t judge them! You might meet someone who has a turn on that you think is weird, but remember someone else out there might think your turn on is weird too!

We’re all in the same boat. Accept your turn on and everyone else will too. What works for you might not work for someone else and vice versa, and that’s okay! Just enjoy yourself and your turn ons!

BDSM 101 – Moving Beyond Plain Vanilla Sex

The Beautiful Kind — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 13:56:30 +0000

A male friend of mine told me about something embarrassing that happened to him. He was in the throes of passionate sex with his girlfriend when, in a gesture of instinct, he put his hand over her face.

Immediately she froze in horror and blurted, “What are you doing?”

Well, how do you answer that? They resumed their lovemaking and talked about it afterwards. He told her he was going with the heat of the moment, and that to him it was an incredibly intimate gesture, a dominant move on his part.

She felt the opposite – she said it creeped her out and made her feel like an object. And there you have it – that one simple hand over the face gesture crossed the vanilla sex line.

What Do You Call Non-vanilla Sex?

I still haven’t found a good term for non-vanilla sex – chocolate? Strawberry with sprinkles? Chili sauce? This is a little problematic, since I overwhelmingly prefer it over vanilla.

Don’t get me wrong – vanilla sex has its place. But there are plenty of times when you just want to take it to “11,” like Nigel in Spinal Tap.

Taking it to “11”

First off, make sure you’ve covered the vanilla basics. Have you tried sexual positions like doggy style, reverse cowgirl? Have you played all the oral sex games, even 69 (highly overrated in my opinion)?

How about places – have you branched out from bedroom? I’m partial to the bathroom vanity myself, and the basement works well for my dungeon fantasies. How about anal sex? OK, now we’re crossing the line.

Consult the Checklist

Hopefully you have filled out the handy dandy BDSM fetish checklist I provided last month. Going through the checklist will be an eye opening experience for most couples. You’ll find out pretty quickly if one or both of you is dominant/submissive. Take turns picking a fantasy and trying it out.

Start small with blindfolds, silk scarves. A friend of mine had NO idea she liked blindfolds, until her boyfriend spontaneously wrapped her winter scarf around her head and gave her a massage on the couch. That smooth move prompted her to change her blindfold preference from a 3 to a 5 on the checklist. Instant addition to their bag of tricks!

Test Your Comfort Zone

As for me, I knew I liked rough sex, but I sure didn’t know I got turned on by a gentle face slap. My guy tried that one on me one time and I had a similar reaction to the woman with the hand on her face – I was shocked, but paused to process it. Did I like it? At first I didn’t, then found myself fantasizing about it later. As you can see, you can surprise yourself.

Be “Try-Sexual”

It pays to try new things, even if you think you might not like them. If you find you’re not crazy about it, don’t do it again. As long as you keep open communication going, pushing your boundaries shouldn’t “ruin” things. It’s all a learning process.

You can also experiment with swatting the bottom during sex, or pinning your partner’s hands above his or her head while you’re making love. Take a candle and drip hot wax on your partner – it’s easy to monitor this one – the higher up you hold it above someone when it drips, the less it hurts.

Someone once told me that they loved sex because it reminded them of what it was like to be a kid. “EXCUSE ME?” I said, eyebrows raised. “And just what kind of childhood did you have?” He laughed and explained, “With sex you get to be really messy and play make believe and just have fun!”

What a great attitude. Give your hang-ups a rest and explore with an open mind. Work the kinks OUT. Oh and by the way – my friend I mentioned at the beginning of this article? He ended up breaking it off with his girlfriend. It turns out they weren’t sexually compatible, and now they are both with better matched partners. In my next article, I’ll talk more about sexual compatibility when it comes to kink.

Does Wanting to See My Wife Have Sex With Another Man Make Me Gay?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:35:58 +0000

One of the most popular fantasies out there is the idea of the threesome…

Most men love the idea of seeing their woman have sex with another woman while they watch, or the idea of having two women have sex with him at the same time.

But threesome fantasies don’t stop there…

There are also men out there, who love the idea of watching their woman have sex with another man.

Here’s an interesting question. If a man enjoys the idea of watching his woman have sex with another man, does this make him gay?

Here’s a question from Michael whose fantasies have him wondering about his sexuality.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I have talked jokingly about threesomes in the past. But recently she’s been bringing up the idea more often. I’m worried about what she would want afterwards like if she’d wanna bring home a guy. I don’t know how to respond…

I have entertained the thought of watching her have sex with another man while I watch. Would that make me gay to enjoy watching it? Also, I had more homo erotic thoughts but haven’t gotten hard around a guy that’s straight.

Am I just curious, confused or bi?

– Michael, Massachusetts

Does This Mean I’m Gay?

We’re all sexual beings. We all have a unique ideas and fantasies, things that turn us on. Don’t get stuck on labels and just consider yourself ‘sexual’. It’s very common, and very exciting for most men, to think of their girlfriend as bi-curious, but most men get a little nervous when they think of a bi-curious boy.

But on that topic… We ran an online dating site for over three years and were very surprised by the large number of bisexual or bi-curious men. It’s not as uncommon as you might like to think.

There’s nothing wrong with being bi-curious, bisexual, or gay. That’s just your sexual preference. The sooner you get in touch with your own sexual preferences and desires, the happier and more fulfilled your sex life will be.

On The Topic Of Threesomes

So the idea of watching your partner with another man or woman that you really excited – and you have talked to one another enough to know that it gets your partner excited as well…

Here three tips to help make your first threesome more successful:

1. Talk About It

Before you and your partner set out to act out your fantasies of having a threesome, it’s critical that you both talk about it and understand why you want to do it. It’s also important to talk about what kind of threesome you are interested in.

Do you want to see your girlfriend with another woman, or perhaps another man. Do you want to see your boyfriend with another woman or another man. Do you both want to be intimately involved, or you prefer to just watch.

It’s also important to talk about who this third person will be. Will it be a close friend? Will it be a stranger? Do you want to be friends with him or her afterword are you just looking for one night stand? What should his or her age be? What should they look like?

It’s important to talk about the details up front so that you don’t end up fighting over something silly halfway down the road…

2. Set Boundaries And Stick To Them

Boundaries…

This is an important one that many people overlook. Before your first threesome, and your second, and your third, talk about what’s OK and what’s not. Where is your comfort zone? Where is your partners comfort zone? Are there any actions that are forbidden?

It’s a worthwhile exercise to actually take the time to write down what is OK and one is not. We have some good friends who jokingly refer to their first list… it must’ve been 100 items long. You can do this. You can’t do that. This is OK. That’s not. — Now they have just two runs a list away. That works for them. Your list may get longer. The important thing here is that you talk about it and agree on the ground rules before during and after.

3. Try It And Then Talk About It Some More

Once everyone’s happy and feels COMPLETELY comfortable, go for it. Try it. See how it feels and talk about those feelings. What surprised you? What didn’t? Did the experience go as you expected it? Do you want to do it again?

Hopefully by now you get the point…

Communication is critical in your relationship and even more important when you bring other people into the relationship.

We can’t say it enough… Talk. Talk. Talk.

Is Having Cyber Sex Before Physical Sex a Good Idea?

Rose Rivera — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 13:50:50 +0000

These days it’s nearly impossible to begin a relationship without using some form of cyber communication during those critical “getting to know you” weeks.

From meeting online via a dating website to having a casual chat over instant messenger, the likelihood that you’ll have at least one online conversation with your potential lover is extremely high.

One of the main differences between online and face-to-face conversations is the amount of social inhibitions experienced by the chatters.

Because online communications encourage an atmosphere of anonymity, it’s easier for most people to open up about themselves. The lack of physical/visual social repercussions online, such as a frown of disapproval, makes online chatters less vulnerable to emotional hurts, and therefore much more willing to take chances by saying things that might otherwise be considered “inappropriate” in person.

Under such relaxed social constraints, it’s easy to imagine how a casual late night chat can quickly turn into an arousing exploration of each other’s sexual fantasies. But is engaging in this type of risqué talk with someone you’ve recently met and may eventually sleep with a good idea? Might it ruin those first “magical” moments if and when you do decide to have physical sex together?

The Pros and Cons of Having “Cyber Sex” Before Really “Doing It”

Pro – It’ll Give You Both a Chance to Explore Your Sexual Compatibility Safely.

Rather than risking a potentially awkward first time with a new partner, having cyber sex beforehand can provide both parties with an opportunity to verbally explore each other’s likes and dislikes in a fun and consequence-free environment.

Maybe she is much more sexually aggressive than he is, or maybe he has certain kinks that she is strongly against. Whatever differences and similarities are discovered, it’s much better to test out certain ideas online than it is in person. Wouldn’t you like to know your new crush actually enjoys being tied up before you whip out your studded leather cuffs?

Con – What Happens in Cyber-Land, Stays in Cyber-Land

It’s true, the uninhibited social freedom of cyber sex can go straight to some people’s heads like the bubbles in any great bottle of champagne. Because of this, the difference between someone’s online sexual persona and their real life sexual behavior can be shockingly different…

Although you and Mr. New Love did every position in the book during your torrid affairs in Cyber-Land, the reality might be that you’re a very shy and cautious lover. Once Mr. New Love really gets you between the sheets, the difference between Cyber-Land you and Real you might be very confusing to him. So confusing it might seem like a betrayal since you portrayed yourself to be one way when in fact you’re another. Sounds very much like lying, doesn’t it? And that’s never a good start to any relationship.

Pro - Fantasies Can be Very Revealing

Not only can exploring each other’s sexual fantasies be a wonderful way to test out your sexual compatibility, but it can also lead to a whole slew of other insightful topics of conversation. Bringing up different sexual likes and dislikes can reveal where someone stands on a variety of socially political issues such as homosexuality, marriage, religion, feminism, etc. For example, when you are having cyber sex try shifting the fantasy toward something “taboo” and see how your partner reacts. It’s very easy to then bring up that topic later on for further clarification and discussion. There’s nothing like trying out a Nun/Priest role playing fantasy to bring out someone’s religious and political convictions!

Con – Your Writing Skills Don’t Match Your Sexual Skills

This problem can go one of two ways. Either you’re a fantastic writer who‘s bad in bed, or you’re a fantastic lover who can‘t write. In the first case, your partner may be disappointed the first time you “really” have sex since cyber (written) sex with you was mind-blowing due to your uncanny way with words. In the second case, your lack of verbal finesse might ruin your chances of ever getting your partner into your bed at all. If for some reason you believe your writing skills do not match your real sexual prowess, then it’s probably best to avoid cyber sex with your crush until after you’ve had physical sex with them at least once. That way no one will be unfortunately disappointed or unreasonably dissuaded from having sex with you.

Otherwise, Enjoy It!

Like most things, the decision to have cyber sex before physical sex with someone new is a gamble. The opportunity to explore each other sexually without having to worry about physical consequences, appearances, and social inhibitions is understandably tempting. My only words of caution are to remember that your cyber persona and actions will influence how your potential lover perceives you, as well as their expectations for your “real” first time together. However, if you’re a little mindful of these things and don’t go crazier in Cyber-Land than you would in your bedroom, then cyber sex can certainly add a lot of playful flirtations to those first few weeks of heart-racing acquaintanceship.

Did You Get Your Fun, Sexy Halloween Costume Yet?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:55:46 +0000

Think back to your childhood for a moment, and remember all the fun you had with playing dress up and trying on all those cool costumes for Halloween…

And then ask yourself… why should kids have all the fun, while all the adults grow up and become boring and stodgy? Well, there are a lot of perks to being a grown up, and Halloween can be just as fun as it was back then… and a LOT more naughty.

Forget that! Let’s turn up the heat this Halloween with some dress up gear that’s ONLY for grown ups.

Instead of cartoon characters and action figures, how about some fun, sexy fantasy costumes to get you AND your lover in the mood for a steamy evening after your trick or treating.

French Maid? Nurse? Maybe a Sexy Bunny?

"Is there a doctor in the house? Somebody’s been naughty and needs a physical."

Role playing is one of the most common forms of sexual diversion for a couple. Nothing like pretending to be someone else, living dangerously, meeting an exciting stranger and letting your passion run wild!

There is of course the French maid, or better yet, the upstairs maid (no upstairs is complete without one). And of course the nurse, in case of emergency.

What about a sexy witch, or an adult pirate costume.

And for the serious playa who’s just dying to don that purple suede suit with leopard lining and matching hat, check out these pimp costumes.

It’s truly amazing how many creative sexy and fantasy costumes can be found, if you just know where to look.

What About Just Straight Fun Costumes?

Then again, it’s not always about sex (just most of the time).

The lock and key costume is a great gag costume for those couples where the lady wears the pants. Just look at the picture and imagine it reversed, with her wearing the key. You know who you are.

Sexy Halloween Costumes

If you’re going to find a great, sexy outfit for Halloween, start looking now and order in plenty of time. Check out some of the great sexy costumes at Costumes, Inc and see what sparks your imagination.

They also have a special offer for our readers. When you order, be sure to use the coupon code "askdanjen" to get 15% off any order over $75 (except closeouts and shipping).

At the very least, check out the upstairs maid. Remember, no upstairs is complete without one.

Note: This is a Sponsored Review brought to you by Costumes, Inc, but all opinions are our own.

Gasp! Do People Actually Have Oral Sex?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 23:53:15 +0000

Everyone has their own sexual preferences, whether it’s plain old missionary position, lights off, oral sex, anal sex (gasp!), or any one of dozens of exotic sexual activities.

Of course, nobody thinks of what they like as a weird fetish. No, what they like is always “OK” and “mainstream”. Then we hear about someone doing something just a little more weird, just a little different from what we’re comfortable with, and suddenly it’s a “kinky fetish”.

Here’s a question from a man in Georgia, who’s absolutely shocked to have discovered that some people seem to actually enjoy oral sex. Is it blasphemy, or has he just been missing out?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do people really perform oral sex? Seems disgusting to me. Is it rare, or do couples regularly do it? I never thought of such a thing until I got on the Internet. It was never discussed in my circle of friends.

– Harold, GA

Do Regular People Actually Engage in Oral Sex?

Absolutely. There are people out there who enjoy every type of fetish and exotic sexual activity imaginable. From enjoying oral sex, to relishing anal sex, to threesomes and swinging, and other fetishes you’ve never even imagined.

And of course there are people who want absolutely no part of any of these activities. They are content with missionary position on the third Thursday of every month, give or take a week.

There are even some people out there who consider sex without the specific objective of making a baby to be a sin!

The Most Important Rule for Sexual Fantasies and Fetishes

Most importantly, figure out what you like to do, and find someone who likes to do these things with you. And then have fun, lots of it…

This is a private agreement between the two of you. Don’t focus on what other people do or say, unless you’re looking for other things to try with your partner. Also, don’t try to force something on your partner that they are not comfortable with. This is about making each other happy, not forcing your ideas on your partner. Especially with oral sex, if you do it right, I think your partner will come around. Yes, the pun was intended!

How to Become an Expert at Giving Oral

Remember. Just because women aren’t very vocal about requesting oral sex, doesn’t mean they don’t like it and WANT IT.

Two of our most popular articles in recent months have focused exclusively on pleasing your lady with oral sex. These are the Female Orgasm Black Book review, and a review of well known romance expert Michael Webb’s excellent guide called “Lick by Lick”. If you haven’t seen these already, go check them out.

Men shouldn’t feel left out though. If you’re looking for a guide to buy for your lady friend, get her a copy of Michael Webb’s just released “Blow By Blow” – a guide to pleasing the man in your life. Yeah, you read that title right, and that’s what it’s about. Don’t blush, you know you either like it or would like to try it.

Exclusive Swingers – Are You CHEATING On Your Swinger Friends?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 20:41:21 +0000

Exclusive swingers? Isn’t that an oxymoron?

Exclusivity is not what you typically think of when you talk about the swinger lifestyle. Few in the swinger community would consider it cheating to play with multiple couples and partners without consulting them. It’s important to remember that swinging is largely about expanding an individual or a couple’s sex lives, and not usually about extending the romantic circle.

What about polyamory?

Some consider polyamory to be a more enlightened approach to swinging, though it’s really a very different animal. With polyamory, a couple will actually expand their love and romantic relationship to truly include others, not just for the occasional fun and sexual fantasies.

For many, the idea of swinging is really a stretch… polyamory is even more so because we’re no longer talking about being committed to a single person.

Can you expect an exclusive relationship with another couple?

People are interesting in their expectations, and since we’re all unique, nothing is really too far fetched to be expected. Think about an exclusive relationship between two people. It slowly evolves from the casual meeting, a few dates, and eventually exclusivity where you’re no longer seeing other people.

It’s entirely possible for two couples to also become close over time, and for some of the players to develop closer feelings for each other. In this case it’s definitely possible for one couple to get jealous when the other couple sees other people. No, it’s not the regular traditional lifestyle experience, but it definitely does happen on occasion.

And when it does…

Don’t talk with your family about your sex life and your exotic sexual fantasies

It’s always great to share our lives with our loved ones… not just our romantic partners, but also our blood families.

BUT… this can sometimes lead to problems, especially when we’re talking about parts of our lives that are not viewed as “acceptable” or “mainstream” by some segments of society.

This can happen when parents share intimate details of their sex lives with their grown children, as well as those same grown children sharing with their parents.

At first this seems to go against what we normally believe in, but stay with us here. Countless fights and arguments start when people share too much about their sex lives with their families.

We’re generally very adamant on having very open and honest communication in relationships, whether those are romantic relationships, family relationship, or friend relationships.

However we are not yet evolved and enlightened enough as a society, where your family (i.e. your parents, siblings) can have an open and honest discussion with you about your sex life and sexual preferences without judging you and without digressing into some type of fight or argument.

Hopefully our society will evolved to this point in the coming years, but by an large we’re just not there yet. Certainly there are some exceptions to this (as there are to anything based on a standard deviation), but if you want to play it safe – keep your sex life between you and your partner.

SO… Should you demand and exclusive relationship with another couple?? Shat what can you do if you’ve shared your dilemma with your family and they’re going nuts?

Here’s a question from a couple in Maryland facing this very frustrating problem…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband and I have now experienced swinging with two different couples. The first happened slowly over a long period of time with a couple that we were very close to. The second couple we found through a swinging website. We met them a few times to get to know each other and then met them for a sexual encounter. Ever since then, things have been a mess. We shared with the first couple that we had been with the second couple. They did not handle it well at all. They felt hurt and betrayed, especially the woman, whom I am extremely close to. I thought that our friendship was in jeopardy. I ended up talking to my father about how upset I was about this problem that I was having with my friend. I ended up telling him about my swinging experiences- BIG MISTAKE! He was very upset and my stepmother, who he told, was even more upset. So, my husband and I are finding a way to rebuild our relationship with the first couple, minus the sex. I am working through things with my dad. My stepmother is still concerned that we are going to rot in hell. With all of this happening, I am really struggling with the idea of swinging again. My husband wants to, of course. I am seriously struggling with whether it is immoral and sinful. Besides, with everything that has happened, I don’t have a good feeling about preceding forward. How can I make my husband understand this? He is extremely disappointed that I am not interested in continuing to swing, at least for now, and maybe forever. I know that this is long and complicated, but I am really in need of some advice. Please respond. Thanks.

– Jennifer, Maryland

Sex Tips – The REAL Secret to Sexual Confidence

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 20 May 2007 01:20:36 +0000

Sex can be a wonderful and exciting part of any relationship, bringing great joy to both (or more) partners. But so often a couple just isn’t sexually in sync. For whatever reason, they just don’t click sexually.

A common reason for these sex problems is the lack of open and honest communication.

This is a deeply engrained societal issue… people just aren’t comfortable talking openly about sex, not even with their sex partners. And guess what – your partner isn’t going to read your mind. If you don’t let them know what you want, they won’t know.

When lovers do talk, it’s often about the physical – the logistics of love making, not about their deep fantasies and desires. So often we get questions from people who can’t seem to get a particular sex position just right.

It’s not about getting the other person to orgasm in any particular position or another, but rather about feeling desired, felling wanted, feeling your partner’s lust and craving for you – feeling the intense heat of passion. And it’s about making your partner experience that as well.

That’s something to strive for. It’s that shared desire that brings great sexual confidence.

Today’s question is from a lady dealing with the difficult issue of sexual confidence.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I find myself burdened with an unfortunate insecurity. I don’t feel confident in bed. I have had a number of good and bad relationships that have left me knowing a lot about my soul, but little about success in bed. My first sex partner used to become extremely angry and offended if I didn’t want to have sex. He would lay guilt trips down, refuse to speak to me, or yell. It wasn’t until after leaving the relationship that I realized how badly it made me feel about myself, and how unnecessary/abusive it was. I dated another boy after him who was just the opposite, we dated for 3 years and he rarely initiated sex, not wanting to make me feel pressured. We spoke freely of our feelings, and by the end he felt more comfortable being aggressive. The second relationship helped me feel comfortable with myself and men, however neither relationship really left me feeling like a sex goddess.

Now, I have finally found someone who is helping me explore my sexual side. I recently started dating a French man I met, and he really knows how to turn me on! The problem is… with every boyfriend, I have never been able to get a guy to cum from a blow job, and I’ve never really been the one on top during sex. Frenchie keeps trying to get me on top, but every time I do, it’s like I’ve broken his penis! I’m 140 lbs, not obese; and he’s no waif… His penis is medium size, so it’s not as if it’s some stub that would break if a sparrow sat on it! I’ve tried sitting straight up and moving up and down, or leaning forward and moving forward and back, but while he is encouraging, it’s never successful. I’m also afraid that sitting straight up leads me to bouncing rather than riding… and that seems to hurt! As for the blow-jobs, I can’t seem to get a rhythm; or when I do (and this is highly embarrassing) he jokingly asked if I would like to breath!

He is perfectly confident and supportive, and I’d really like to get over my insecurities. I’m sorry for such a long explanation and please, if you have any advice, it would do a lot of help.

Desperately,
Finally French (Pennsylvania)

Check out this resource we recommend to really spice up your sex life:

500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know

Playing Mind Games in Love and Sex – Should You Really Do it?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 22:02:48 +0000

I found this great post today from Seduction 101. It really got me thinking, because Dan and I love to play games!

"She’s playing games with him." "He’s playing games with her." "They’re playing games with each other."

These comments are always accompanied by stern looks of disapproval. But if I enjoy a game of tennis with my lover, nobody’s going to accuse us of "playing games with each other".

What’s going on?

Most people pay lip service to the idea that "mind games" is bad, bad, bad. But who among us never plays them? I submit that these games are not always bad; in fact sometimes they are good and even downright necessary to social interaction. I like to call them "social games".

Playing mind games in love and sex can be everything from exhilarating to heart crushing.

Games can be anything from psychological bantering to role playing. The perception that playing mind games is bad comes from the fact that far too many people use little known seduction tactics to take advantage of other people.

However, when everyone involved knows that they’re playing, it can be an incredibly fun ride. A chance to let your hair down and try something new or be someone new for a little while.

Dan and I both love the chase… And we both know it. So while some couple might get jealous if their partner flirts with someone else. For us, it’s exciting because we know we’re having really hot sex tonight! The key here is that we have a completely open and honest relationship. We tell each other absolutely everything.

I know you’ve got fantasies that involve some sort of game playing even thought you may not call it that. You see, having a fantasy IS a mind game.

One word of caution for couples who like to play games, make sure that you’re both always on the same page and are completely open and honest with one another. If a game goes too far, say so. If you want it to go farther, say so.

I would love to hear any thoughts or ideas that you may have on this topic.

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