Question: Is it weird to get turned on by strange things, like fetishes and stuff? Like, there are some things I enjoy which a normal person would hate or find painful or embarrassing. Is this normal?

–YouTube Viewer

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Define “Normal”

Fortunately for human beings, “normal” is relative. What is considered normal and what isn’t is based on each person’s belief system, morals and point of view. There is no concrete “this is normal and this isn’t,” because it is different for everybody. Unfortunately though, it is a common belief that one person’s view of what is normal and what isn’t must be forced on everyone else. It’s time to shake that belief, and realize that one person’s definition of what is normal or weird is going to be different from everyone else’s. It’s time to embrace our diversity and focus on our own beliefs and actions instead of dictating everyone else’s.

What Is A Fetish?

A fetish, as defined by UrbanDictionary.com, is considered a sexual obsession with a usually non-sexual object. Many people have a “shoe fetish” or a sexual obsession with shoes. Some people have a specific fetish for high heels only, while some people are turned on by shoes of all kinds. Other people may like fur, armpit or leg hair, or may be exceptionally turned on by different types of scents. Whatever your fetish is, this object generally will heighten sexual pleasure and may even be required during sex to acheive sexual release. Some fetishes, such as pedophilia and bestiality to name a few, do cross the line, so there are a few ways to tell if your sexual obsession goes too far or not.

Informed Consent Is What Makes The Difference

Regardless of what your fetish is, it must meet a few criteria for it to be considered “okay.” And by “okay,” we mean legal. Each person involved must be an adult (as in over 18) and must be able to and have given informed consent to whatever will happen. Informed consent can’t be given by children, animals or those mentally unable to make informed decisions such as people who are very intoxicated or have a mental handicap. It’s also a good idea if no one gets seriously hurt, although some sexual obsessions such as biting, piercing and bloodletting could be viewed by others as being “serious,” while if done safely pose very little harm at all. When experimenting with fetishes, always use a safe word and if someone wants to stop, STOP! If everyone involved is an adult and has made the informed decision to participate, and as long as no one gets seriously hurt, you can relax. Your fetish may seem “strange” to others but if it works for you, go for it!

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Society has put sort of a damper on being open and honest about what turns us on sexually, however, most of it is healthy and even natural.

Most fetishes and fantasies aside though, some of them can be dangerous or harmful. How do you know if what turns you on goes too far?

Are sexual fetishes bad?

Are fantasies healthy?  

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Healthy Fetishes and Fantasies

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So is it really a special treat, or a very dangerous game that should be avoided at all costs?

The answer depends on who you ask and what  their sexual preferences are. It’s not your place to judge another person nor is it another person’s right to judge your sexual preferences.

Here’s a question from a couple who watched an episode of "Talk Sex" with Sue Johanson. They’re wondering if we agree with her take on anal sex.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I watched your videos on YouTube and I wanted to explore a bit more one subject. My girlfriend and I have had anal sex several times, but she recently saw a episode of Talk Sex with Sue Johanson. In this episode she mentioned of all the bad things that can happen if one is to have anal sex.

 

Our question is the following: Will having anal sex about once, twice or even 3 times a month, with lube and no pain still lead to these problems? Is it eminent like cigarettes give you breathing problems? or possible like walking and twisting an ankle? Thanks, keep up the good work!

 

– Domenic, California

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Is Having Anal Sex Dangerous? 

Like all things, there are risks associated with having anal sex that must be considered and weighed against the pleasure and intimacy that many couples experience while engaging in this type of sex play. 

Sue Johanson has written a really great article on the things to watch out for if you are going to have anal sex.

Check out her full article here.

In her article, Sue mentions many problems that could possible occur during anal sex.

Possible Complications Caused By Having Anal Sex 

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Often times men want it and women SOMETIMES indulge them. But there’s so much more to that.

Our friend Rose from Speak Sexy just posted a great article entitled Getting Anal Sex Right – The First Time. This is a great instructional piece on anal sex, going into all the how-to details.

But be warned… And I’ll quote Rose when she says "This article contains things that may make you feel uncomfortable. It is intended for mature, open-minded adults only." So only click if you actually want the vivid details. In addition Speak Sexy features various erotic and sometimes nude photos.

Take a moment to enjoy our recent videos on this beautifully sinful and taboo sexual fantasy…

Do You Know The Hidden Dangers of Anal Sex? (Video)

Anal Sex – How to Make Her REALLY Want It (Video)

Help! My Boyfriend Wants Me To Have Anal Sex! (Video)

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