Dating Tips for a Single Father

Jason Likert — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 16:41:54 +0000

Dating as a single father is probably one of the most frustrating experiences that a man can go through.

No matter how hard you try to pretend you’re not, at the end of the day you’re still a man with potential lady-repellent. Overall, most women love children and love to play with them. The difference between your child and the "other" children is that your child is YOURS and shares genetic code with a another woman.

A single woman who doesn’t have children of her own is going to look at your child differently – because if she’s dating you, she’s dating your child.

Subconsciously the female mind is keyed into things that as a man, we’re just not aware of. Our minds are wired differently, and women view children in more granular and deep ways than most men can dream of. We may see our child as a bundle of joy, but the non-parental partner sees a beautiful child AND a living, breathing, relationship technical difficulty.

Biggest Concerns Women Have When Dating a Single Father

Am I Becoming a Mom?

This is probably the biggest fear that I’ve heard. Children are a huge responsibility, and someone who hasn’t experienced it may see raising children as a crushing weight that can be overwhelming. Am I becoming a mom? Does he expect me to help raise his child? What will happen to our relationship?

Do I Have to Know His Ex-Wife?

Let’s face it; women love attention and affection. A woman loves to know she’s the only woman in your life and she puts value in that. No woman wants to feel like she’s in second place, and an ex-wife can be a constant reminder that your current lady isn’t Number One. This can drastically affect her faith in your affections towards her, and really varies based on your relationship with your Ex.

In the long run, your girlfriend is dating your ex-wife, in a twisted sort of way.

Secondly, meeting the ex-wife (or ex-husband if roles were reversed) forces a woman to compare herself to your Ex. No one wants to feel judged, and we are all our own worst critic. How do you feel when you look at your ex-wife’s new man? Take that and multiply it by twenty.

But He Has a Child…

You can’t change your past just like you can’t predict the future.

The fact that you have a child with another woman is something she’ll have to deal with. There’s a profound emotional intimacy that people share when they have children, and women tend to be hyper aware of this. The fact that you found this intimacy with another woman and created a child can leave a the woman you are dating gasping for breath because of how she sees this bond and connection. That doesn’t mean that you can’t share that intimacy with another woman.

Unfortunately, this seems to be the issue that makes most women see divorced fathers as "tarnished" or "damaged goods."

What’s a Guy to Do?