Ask Dan and Jennifer » singles

Valentine’s Day Fun For Singles

Romy Morgan — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 14:00:06 +0000

Valentine’s Day is known as the “love” holiday, but do you have to be with someone to enjoy it? No way! Check out these Valentine’s Day ideas for singles.

Whether you’ve gone through a recent break up or you just haven’t found that special guy, Valentine’s Day can be a very somber affair. If you thought that this February 14th would be filled with chocolates, flowers and other gifts only to find that you’re all alone, you might be searching for some alternatives to help you get through it.

This is a time that is generally geared toward couples, but there are a lot of options out there for singles also. Don’t get hung up on the 14th of February just because you don’t have a significant other right now. Push away the thought of spending your night eating ice cream straight from the bin. Take advantage of the occasion with some alternatives for singles.

Throw A Party

Throw a party at your house for all of your single friends if your find yourself alone on Valentine’s Day. Throwing a party can be one of the best ways to spend the holiday with other people who are in the same boat as you. Make a rule that no couples can be at the party and tell all of your friends to bring a single friend.

This will get people mingling and could help you meet a new flame. Since you’re going to be the host you will have a lot of the attention put on you. This is an awesome way to get over recent break ups and really put yourself back out there on a day that could have been spend wallowing in your grief.

Go Out Anyways!

So you don’t have a guy by your side, who cares? It doesn’t matter that you’re single on Valentine’s Day because there are tons of people who are also looking for a way to avoid the love-fest. Get a few of your friends together and head to out a night club that you normally wouldn’t go to. This will not only get you out of the house, but it will put you in a place that you’ve never been before.

We all have our favorite bars or clubs that we like to go to, but why not take a chance on this Valentine’s Day and expand your horizons? Going to a bar or night club that you’ve never been to will increase the chance that you meet new flame.

Take A Day For Yourself

If you know that you’re going to be alone on Valentine’s Day, take a day for yourself. Make plans to take off work for the day and do something that you want to do. Maybe you want to spend the entire day in bed catching up on old TV shows. Maybe you want to finally get started on the indoor garden that should have been done a month ago.

Maybe you want to take a trip to the next city over and do some outlet shopping. No matter what you want to do, make sure that you’re doing it. Being alone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean that you have to sit around depressed. We rarely get a day all to ourselves so make it your day.

Go On A Blind Date

Blind dates can be invigorating and scary at the same time. If you have a friend or coworker that has been dying to set you up on a blind date, finally take the chance to indulge them. Remember that just because a friend wants you to date somebody that they know doesn’t mean that you have to take it any further than a first date.

Make it a point to not have a throw away date with the guy. Treat him with respect and not just a way to get through your Valentine’s Day blues. Remember that he’s a friend of a friend so your conduct will get to your friend. You never know, he might actually wind up being a potential relationship.

Valentine’s Day can be a drag if you’re alone, but it doesn’t have to be. Finding ways to keep yourself entertained so the depression stay at bay is essential for your sanity. Throwing a party is a good way to have a low pressure event at your own home while avoiding couples. Throwing caution to the wind and hitting the town can put things in perspective. You will find a lot of singles that go out on Valentine’s Day despite not having a significant other.

Taking a day for yourself or going on a blind date are other ways to stay active on a day could be dismal. Whatever you choose to do, be proactive in keeping yourself busy. Don’t allow yourself to think about recent break ups or the unrealistic thought of being alone forever. Take a risk and turn this Valentine’s Day into a fun social occasion.

How To Meet Singles During The Day

Chase Christopher — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 17:00:20 +0000

Singles usually gather at night, right? Wrong! You can meet some awesome singles by going places during the day – here’s how!

Nightclubs and bars are the most common places to meet singles, but what if you want to meet singles during the day? Meeting them during the day can feel more natural and build confidence. Most guys like meeting girls during the day because of the games that women play in nightclubs in bars. If you would like to meet singles during the day, there are a few places that you can check out. Having a routine and using a little bit of logic is the best way to accomplish the task at hand. Here are a few ways that you can meet singles during the day.

At Coffee Shops

Almost everybody has their favorite drink at Starbucks, Caribou Coffee or any other coffee shop around your town. The best time to meet singles is during the morning rush. People tend to stop by their favorite coffee shop before work. 7-8:30 is a great time to pop into a coffee shop because there will be a line.

If you have a traditional 9-5 job then you will be dressed in business attire, which makes you look like you have it together. Chat up a girl that is in line with you. If she likes you, she will probably show up the next day at the same time. Keep to this routine and you will start to see regulars at the coffee shop.

At Grocery Stores

Grocery stores are like a hub for singles. Everybody has to buy food and you can easily meet singles at grocery stores with just a bit of detective work. A lot of guys don’t like approaching girls during the day out of fear that they will have a boyfriend. Checking the items in their cart can usually be a telltale sign of whether or not they have a boyfriend.

Look for men’s products with a quick glance before you talk to them. Don’t scour through their stuff, but take a second to look for male shaving cream, face wash or something else that would indicate that they have a boyfriend. If you don’t see these items then she could still have a boyfriend, but if you do see them she definitely does. Approach her with ease and ask if she has used a product in the aisle. This is an easy icebreaker that can lead to a conversation.

At Gyms

Gyms can be a great place to meet singles. With all of the endorphins in the room you will find girls more open to talking. The best way to meet single women at the gym is to use a machine after them. The problem with trying to meet singles at the gym is that they usually have their iPod on. Smile at a girl as she’s getting off of a machine and simply say “hey.” If she doesn’t answer you then her music is too loud. If she does answer you back then you can start talking about the different machines in the gym. Wing it and you’ll find her more open to talking than you thought.

At The Bank

Almost everybody has to go to the bank now and again. Heading to the bank to deposit money or take money out can be a great way to meet singles during the day. If you’re single, it’s best to forgo the convenient services of online banking and get out into the world. It’s too easy to hide behind modern technology.

Instead of using the ATM, go inside and deposit your check with a teller. This will force you to get in line and you never know when another single will be in front or behind you. Say hello to any girl that is waiting with you. Not only could this lead to a potential date, it will help the time pass as you are both waiting.

At A Dog Park

This one only applies to guys that have dogs. It’s no secret that a dog park is a haven for singles. The best thing about a dog park is that you are standing around as your dog plays with the other dogs. This leaves you open to conversation. Chat up a girl that is in the park. A lot of girls go to dog parks in hopes of finding singles. They might never admit it, but it’s true.

Girls love guys who have dogs because it shows compassion. Dog parks allow people with something in common to have light conversations. Ask her about the kind of breed her dog is. Ask her about local pet services or different products that you have tried. This is an easy icebreaker that you can implement with little hassle.

I’m Alone On Valentine’s Day! What Should I Do?

Romy Morgan — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 14:00:12 +0000

Valentine’s Day is the most romantic time of the year. But what are you supposed to do when you have to spend it alone? Being alone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a complete drag. When you’re with somebody you expect to have plans. When you’re alone and the depression starts to set in, it’s best to keep yourself occupied. There are a lot of things that singles can do when they’re alone on Valentine’s Day. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Get Together With Friends

Chances are not all of your friends have significant others. It’s a great time for couples, but it can also be good for singles. The majority of singles don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. Get together with your other single friends and head out to a bar or nightclub. You will probably find other singles that are trying to escape from the fact that they don’t have anybody. Enjoy yourself and don’t let the holiday get you down.

Go To A Movie

Movies are one of the greatest escapes. Being engrossed in a movie can take away any thought of being alone on Valentine’s Day. Don’t choose a romantic film or something that is too harsh. An action film or a thriller is your best bet to keep your mind at ease. Check your local listings and choose a movie that starts a little later. An 8 o’clock show is perfect because you will probably need to be there by 7:45. This will take up your entire evening. Before you know it, the evening will be gone.

Go To A Party

So your friends are having a Valentine’s Day party and you don’t have anybody to go with. Usually you would just blow it off because it’s going to be filled to the rim with couples. Go anyway. Yes, there will be a lot of couples, but there might be singles. Single people tend to play third-wheel with their couple friends and some rely on them to find their next relationship. You could meet a friend of a friend and end up spending Valentine’s Day with a new flame.

Take A Short Trip

Is there a concert going on in the next town over that you would like to see? Even if you have never heard of the band, take a short trip. This is a great way to change up the scenery and get you into a different mindset. This works great with art exhibits or craft shows also. Grab a copy of your local paper and look at what is going on around your area.

Spend It With Family

If you don’t have any single friends and you don’t want to spend the whole time alone, shack up with some family. Family will never tell you to butt out so hitch a ride with them and have dinner or go to a show. Even if your family is not doing anything special, you can just spend it catching up. Your family will be understanding of what you’re going through and can lend a shoulder to cry on or even put a smile back on your face.

Work Through It

Work has the ability to take your mind off of anything. If you have a big presentation coming up or you really need to get a jump start on a busy week, go ahead and work through it. Your mind will be off of being alone on Valentine’s Day and can get you through it without a major breakdown.

Join An Online Dating Site

If you’re completely tired of being alone and Valentine’s Day is too much to handle, join an online dating site. You can spend Valentine’s Day online dating and looking at potential dates for the future. Just thinking about a new relationship could be enough to give you perspective. When you join an online dating site, make sure that it’s one you like. There are a lot of free options out there, but a paid dating site tends to have more sophisticated clientele.

Being alone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be depressing. There are a lot of activities that you can do to help you get through it without a mind-melt. Hit some friends up to go out or take in a great movie. Work can take your mind off of the event, but your family will always have open arms.

Where To Meet The Right Guys

Romy Morgan — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 23:00:52 +0000

Dating tips can help you when you’re on a date, but how do you get there in the first place? Use THESE dating tips to help you find Mr. Right!

Meeting guys can seem like a pretty daunting task. If you have done the bar and club scene then you know what it’s like to have a sweaty guy try to rub his stuff all over you at 1 am. Even in a martini stupor this isn’t flattering. Meeting quality guys that will treat you right and respect a long-term relationship doesn’t have to be an elusive mirage. The fact of the matter is that there are worthwhile guys all around you. You just have to know where to look. Dating takes initiative. If you’re serious about find a relationship with the right kind of guy, here are a few suggestions to get your started.

At Church

Before you go into some kind of rant about religion, just hear me out. Men that go to church has morals that supersede the bar and club scene. They aren’t going to want some dirty tryst in the back of their car after last call. If you’re at all religious, think about how you can meet some quality guys at your church. You don’t have to be the biggest devout Christian, but if you were raised in the church this is a good place for meeting guys. Even if you don’t meet any guys, this could be a great place for making more friends.

At The Gym

Yes, the gym is a pretty popular choice. There are a ton of guys who like to stay in shape. If you also like to stay in shape then this could be a common interest that you might want to consider with your next potential relationship. Almost every town has local gym. In my experience, the local YMCA will have more young professionals because of the classes and services they offer for a cheaper price. The facilities are pretty vast also so you might want to take advantage of this.

In Electronics Stores

A ton of guys are wild about their gadgets. If you don’t believe me then head over to the Apple Store or you local Best Buy. Hang around the computer aisles and wait for a guy to come over. Ask him a question about a computer or a hard drive and let him teach you something about it. This is a great way of meeting men. You can base whether or not he’s a complete geek on how he dresses, but most guys know about electronics.

At The Dog Park

This is one of the best dating tips, especially if you have a dog, although you can still go if you don’t. Head over to your local dog park. The dog park gives you a great way to let your dog run free while you can chat up some fellow dog owners. A lot of singles have dogs. It gives them company since they are single. This is probably the reason that you have a dog. See a guy that you like? Ask him about what breed his dog is to get the ball rolling.

Take A Class

One of the best places to take a class at is The Home Depot or Lowes. Both of these places will have guys trying to learn about home repair. Even if you don’t meet a guy in one of these classes you can gain a little knowledge on how your home works. After the class is over you can scour the aisles for good-looking guys who are looking at tools. Strike up a conversation about painting a room and see where it goes.

Through Single Friends

Although this is a little obvious, your single friends know you best and they will be able to recommend some great guys. If you’re not using your single friends to meet guys, you should start immediately. Being set up on a blind date can be pretty nerve racking so if you do go with a single friend’s recommendation, make sure that you meet him first.

At Local Organizations

A great place for meeting single guys is through a local organization. Taking up a sport or a book club is a good place to meet single guys because you have something to talk about instantly. If you aren’t feeling it after a little while, you can reengage in the club or the sport.

Meeting men doesn’t have to be a full time job. In all of these occasions you can have a lot of fun while you try to meet some guys. In order to meet somebody that you really like you might have to come out of your comfort zone a little bit. The best dating tips are to take a chance and join a club or take a class. Just get out there! Meeting people is not very difficult when you have an open mind and connect on a deeper level than what he’s drinking.

How To Spend Valentine’s Day If You’re Single

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 23:00:12 +0000

Valentine’s Day is for couples, right? Wrong! Just because you’re flying solo on February 14th doesn’t mean that you have to confine yourself to your house like a leper just because you don’t have a significant other on your arm. Treat yourself to something special this Valentine’s Day, like a massage or a special dinner. Check out these great ways to spend the day if you’re sans a date.

Book A Spa Appointment

Pamper yourself on Valentine’s Day by booking an appointment at your favorite spa or salon. Pedicure? Yes, please! If you’ve got the money to spend, book a few services or even purchase a “day spa” ticket where lunch is served. Instead of being bummed out that you’re single on the big day, you’ll be enjoying being pampered all day long. Plus, human touch during a massage is known to boost a person’s mood almost immediately! Even if you’re watching your wallet this February, consider booking just a half hour massage or a simple pedicure or manicure. You’d be surprised that even a little pampering will go a long way.

Try A New Restaurant

Grab a friend (or go solo) to the restaurant you’ve been dying to try. Sure, it may be full of couples having a romantic dinner, but there’s nothing wrong with bringing a book or surfing the web on your phone while you enjoy an amazing meal (that you didn’t have to make!) on Valentine’s Day. If you don’t want to brave the crowds of couples on the 14th, consider ordering out. Either way, make sure you’re treating yourself to something super yummy so you have something to look forward to all day – kind of like a date with yourself!

Host A Valentine’s Day Party

Being single on Valentine’s Day puts you in the perfect position to host an amazing party for your friends. Instead of having to spend the night hanging on someone’s arm, you can mingle with your friends all evening, making you a great host. Throw a rooftop party if you have access to one and the weather is nice, or just string some twinkle lights in your living room or den. You can go all out with decorations and food, or you can keep it simple with snacks and ask that guests bring their own alcohol if they wish to drink. Make it as big or as small as you like, depending on whether you want to throw the Valentine’s Day bash of the century or if you just want an intimate gathering with your closest friends.

Veg Out In Front Of The Tube

Most people have to work on Valentine’s Day, because it’s definitely not a holiday that is recognized by the corporate or business world. After a long, hard day at work, you may not want to do anything but hang out at home in your pajamas – and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing that! Plan for a great night in front of the tube with your favorite movies or DVD’s of your favorite television series, and make sure you have lots of your favorite snacks and drinks. Spend the night relaxing and treating yourself to an evening of doing absolutely nothing!

Spread Kindness

There’s something about being nice to other people that makes you feel all warm and tingly inside. Instead of spending Valentine’s Day moping around and feeling sorry for yourself about being single, try donating your time to an animal or homeless shelter instead. Serve up soup to the homeless or take a few puppies from the pound for a walk in the dog park – bonus points if you end up finding homes for any of the doggies! Smile at everyone you meet and make a point to be as nice and kind as you can. At the end of the day, you’ll feel really great about yourself and your self-esteem will have gone way up. It’s a great way to spend Valentine’s Day if you’re alone!

Take A Class

Have you ever wanted to try a kickboxing class or an art class? Have you been dying to hit up the poetry slam at your local coffee shop? Flex your creative muscles and take the class you’ve always wanted to take or check out the underground theater you’ve been eying for a couple months. Valentine’s Day is a perfect day to finally do something you’ve always wanted to, because it’s a great way to remind yourself that you are a creative, talented human being and that you truly do love yourself!

Is My Girlfriend Using Me Or Is Her Love Real?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 14:07:10 +0000

Usually it’s the other way around, but sometimes a man will be ready for a steady relationship and his girlfriend begins pulling away.

It can be confusing if you’ve started staying the night with your girlfriend or even taken the relationship to another level

when your girlfriend starts to pull away and act as though you and she are still in the beginning phase of the relationship.

What does it mean when a woman starts to pull away? What should you do if you’re ready for commitment and she’s not?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I started talking to this girl and we hooked up. Things escalated rather quickly and ended up with me staying with her. She dropped hints that she wasn’t actually ready for a relationship and while I was away on vacation, she told me to go back to my own place. We started hanging out again and then one day she asked me to stay the night. After that I have been staying there on and off. She is also dealing with a deep seated depression. She just started taking meds for it. The other day I noticed the change in her and now she is back to pushing me away. She is confusing me and I don’t know if I am wasting my time and she is just using me so she doesn’t have to feel alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

-DW, Tennessee

She Wants To Remain Casual. . .

So you and your girlfriend have gotten quite cozy recently. Perhaps you’ve been dating a few months or more and have started staying the night at each other’s apartments or houses. Maybe you even have your own toothbrush there.

Suddenly, your girlfriend begins to pull away. She stops asking you to come over as much and perhaps she finds excuses why she can’t come over to your house. She still seems interested in the relationship, but not at the level you were once at. She seems more interested in going back to the “dating” phase. Perhaps this has happened more than once. What does it mean?

Well, it might not mean anything other than your girlfriend isn’t ready for a steady relationship – and that’s okay! Try to talk to her openly and honestly without criticism. She may very well open up to you about why she has been shying away. Often, if she doesn’t cut things off completely, she’s still interested in you but may want to take things slow.

You really won’t know the absolute truth of what’s behind her shy behavior, however, until you talk to her. Just make sure that when you do, you’re respectful of her and her right to pull away if she wants. Don’t be judgmental or critical, or she might just shut down on you and you won’t get an answer either way.

What Do You Do?

Well, sometimes there’s nothing you can do. What your girlfriend wants is up to her, and truthfully, if you want to be with her you have to respect that. If you think your relationship has the potential to go somewhere in the future and you’d like it to, go ahead and take it slow and be casual for as long as she wants to. Take the time to get to know yourself and what you want in a relationship too.

If you’re ready for commitment and she isn’t, you need to make a decision if this is the person you really want to be with. You can’t make her commit to you and you can’t make her be more than casual.

You can, however, change what you do. Tell her honestly and without criticism that you want more than just a casual relationship. If she doesn’t want to take it to the next level, or has and keeps backing away, then move on to someone who will give you what you need.

Casual relationships aren’t necessarily bad and if your girlfriend suddenly decides she wants to back down and cool off from the relationship for awhile, it doesn’t always mean the relationship is doomed.

The best thing you can do is talk with her openly and share your feelings about the situation with each other. Neither of you are mind readers, so talk to each other about what’s going on if you want to get some answers.

How Letting Go of the Past Can Help You Hold On To The Future

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:18:46 +0000

The past can be a tricky thing. It always seems to haunt us, especially when we really need to learn to let it go.

When you enter into a serious relationship with someone, you tend to take on their pasts as well, and it can be difficult to accept what may or may not have happened in their lives before you came along.

This can put a serious damper on your relationship! How can you learn to let go of your partner’s past so you can move forward with them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for just over six months now. I feel quite serious about him, but I have issues with past relationships. I was married for 7 years and divorced. Things went well with him up until I found out about and saw pictures of his ex-girlfriends. This seemed to trigger some sort of obsession which I believe was the catalyst of our break up. I needed to find out more about them. Which led to my self esteem plummeting, I believe I wasn’t worthy of his affection. Now with my new boyfriend, I can see a similar pattern emerging. This result in me being distant and pushing my boyfriend away in fear of destroying another relationship, which is the last thing I want to do. Please help.

- Vicky, UK

The past is the past.

First of all, you need to understand that your partner has a past, just like you do. They probably dated around and had their fair share of exploits and relationships that didn’t work out, just like you did.

While your partner’s old partners can seem like they’re in the present, they’re not! They’ve moved on and your partner has moved on. If you find yourself obsessed with your partner’s past partners, you may be the only one who hasn’t moved on! You need to realize that your partner is with you and not with their former partners.

That’s what matters most! When you begin to understand that you’re the one your partner loves and wants to be with, you can begin to let go of their pasts and look towards the future.

Dealing with serious issues.

Sometimes, people who are unable to let go of their pasts or their partner’s pasts have some inner issues that are causing this obsessive behavior. It could be underlying self esteem issues that make you feel like you aren’t as good as your partner’s former flames were or it could be other issues that arise from childhood. If you suspect that you have some baggage that you need to check before moving forward in your relationship, it’s time you do so before you end up pushing your partner too far away.

Really take a look at yourself outside of the situation you’re in and see where you’re at. Don’t compare yourself to your partner’s past partners. The important question is how you feel about you. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling if you feel like your inability to let go of the past is something that comes from deep inside of you. A good counselor or therapist can help you work through your inner issues to learn to be happy with who you are now.

When you are confident and happy with yourself, you can be confident that your partner is happy with you too, and then your partner’s former flames won’t matter so much!

No matter what the real issue is, if you find yourself obsessed with your partner’s past or even if you’re stuck in your own past, you may be serving only to push your partner away. Unless that’s what you’re truly going for, it’s important to nip the behavior in the bud before it gets any worse!

Take the time to work through your problems and don’t forget to let your partner in during the process. They can be a huge pillar of support for you and if you’re open and honest with them, they can be understanding as you work to move through your inability to let go of the past. With time and effort, you can learn to be comfortable enough with yourself to let go of your partner’s past, and you’ll both be happier for it.

How To Get More Hits To Your Online Dating Profile

Natalie Lue — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:01:50 +0000

I’m going to premise this by saying that I can give you some tips for helping you get more ‘hits’ on your profile but I make no promises that if you write the most amazing profile on earth, you’ll find your soul mate.

A lot can happen after some winks and a flurry of emails! But until then, here are some quick tips for a more attractive online dating profile.

Use a photo!

Everyone should use a photo and it should be one that is representative of you, shows you in as flattering a light as possible, should ideally have just you in it. and should be in focus. Obviously it goes without saying; it should be YOU!

Start on a positive note

I would steer clear of saying anything that makes it sound like dating online is beneath you or that has been forced upon you. It sends the wrong message. Avoid saying anything that makes you sound like a prospect to avoid because you need to captivate them in the first couple of lines. That’s right, captivate, not scare or turn off. Be confident.

Easy on the length

They say that size matters but in this case, it’s about striking a balance between so short it seems like you don’t care, and so long, it seems like you want the person to be overwhelmed with boredom. People don’t read web pages in the same way that they read books or magazines, and are quite likely to skim, so writing the longest profile in history will hinder chances.

Leave a little mystery

Yes the profile is for telling a prospective date about yourself but if you roll out everything in the profile and tell them ever itty, bitty, little piece of info about yourself, what’s left to ask? Write enough to create curiosity and have the prospective date wanting to find out more.

Be careful of stating the obvious and suffering from ‘Those who doth protest too much’ syndrome

It’s better to be funny with your profile rather than state “I’m really funny” because…well that’s not very funny! Convey and prove your personality with whatever you write because quite frankly, I glaze over when I read “great sense of humor” and “great guy”.

And purlease steer clear of trying to ram ‘qualities’ down people’s throats. I’m really nice; I’m really honest; I’m really caring – People who are nice, honest, or caring don’t make a point of stating it, they just are these things.

But…convey your personality and qualities

There’s no point trying to make out like you have one of the greatest sense of humors if you don’t convey this. It doesn’t mean that you turn your profile into a stand-up, but if you want to come across light and humorous, you don’t write a serious, potentially cold profile that is more likely to trigger depression…

Be descriptive

“I spent a year traveling through the luscious jungles of South America, living in a tent, and living off the crops” creates an instant picture as opposed to “I love traveling”.

Be positive

If you sell yourself short and are down on yourself, why do you expect people to be attracted to you? It’s best not to go around stating negatives about yourself, particularly since we can sometimes be critical of the wrong things. You are selling yourself here – not literally obviously!

Don’t do the ‘Poor Pathetic Me Whine”

Sorry guys but this is mainly a male error in online dating profiles. If a woman wrote a profile and said “I’m recently divorced, I’m feeling quite lonely and I wonder if I’ll ever find true love again”, guys would label her ‘needy’ and ‘too emotional’.

When a guy says this stuff, he knows that women out there lap it up and think “Ooh, I can change him! Let me be the one to make him feel whole again”. But women are getting wise to this and it’s not exactly a glowing reflection of your wonderful traits to whine about your problems!

Don’t lie

If you’re married…well you shouldn’t even be writing a profile unless you’re both looking for kinky couples….But that aside, lies are why I am very cautious about dating online. Stick to truths and remember that if you lie, at some point you are going to be caught out.

Don’t boast

Trust me, if you spend your profile boasting about what you own or who you know, or what you do, you’ll sound like a seven year old bragging to the neighborhood kids. You’ll have an audience temporarily and then they’ll go off and laugh at you. Either that or you draw in someone who will take advantage of whatever you have boasted about.

Men, Does More Muscle Really Equal More Sex?

Brad Howard — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:08:28 +0000

On average women find muscular men more sexually attractive.

This may seem a little obvious, but it IS scientifically proven by research. Not only that, but time and time again, social psychology research shows us that women will choose more muscular men for short term sexual partners, and have sex with them faster without a long dating period, than their non muscular counterparts.

Women will also have sex with these “types” of men without developing an emotional attraction to them first as well.

Research shows women prefer muscular men

In fact, a study published in 2007, by Frederick et al. photographed men and had random women judge the look of the muscularity and fatness of their bodies. What the researchers discovered was not only that the men who were judged to be more muscular with less body fat were deemed more attractive, but also that these same “musculed” men had more sexual partners on average than their non “musculed” rivals.

This may seem unbelievably obvious to you, but for some reason there is a notion that your “look” and the condition of your body don’t play a role in attracting women.

Despite this idea, this research is proof that the way your body looks absolutely makes a difference in the amount of sex you will have, and the amount of different, high quality women that you can have sex with.

In other words, the study shows that guys with the right ‘type’ of muscularity can have sex with more women, more often, and have more short term partners than less physically attractive men of the same age and social status (more muscle = more flings).

Point blank, if she’s looking for a hair raising blast in a sports car, and you look like a practical safe station wagon, then it doesn’t matter what you say or do, the chips may be stacked against you more than you know.

What else will you attract?

As an aside, the research by Frederick et al also shows that guys with the right muscular build ALSO have sex with more women that are currently in relationships with other men.

That’s right, according to the research, if you’ve got the right look, even married, engaged, or otherwise ‘attached’ women still want a piece of you, and many are perfectly fine with ‘cheating’ on their significant other to have a taste of what you’ve got to offer.

This effect is all dependent on having the right “ type” of muscular body. As the Frederick research also illustrated, a bodybuilder style build was not as attractive as a male body with properly proportioned muscles.

Luckily, getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men–The Adonis Index. With a top flight male transformation program like the Adonis Effect (which is designed to build your body into its most ideal attractive shape) while introducing a wee bit of dedication on your part in order to see astounding results.

So what are you waiting for? Lets get to the gym, and start building the body our women really want!

Getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men… The Adonis Index. To find out how to use the Adonis Index to generate subconscious physical attraction, visit the Adonis Effect website.

Why Having Sex Right Away Doesn’t Mean He’ll Call…

Victorya Rogers — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:58:59 +0000

Okay ladies, I know most of you THINK seducing your date is the quickest way to get him to call you back but in reality it’s the worst thing you can do—especially early on!

There are many “dating experts” that will tell you differently including fellow colleague David Wygant, who by the way gives great advice about other aspects of dating.

I just totally disagree with him on this point! Come on Dave! You’re a guy and you are in no way guaranteeing that taking it off gets a call back. It just gives the guy a great time in the moment! The problem is, the minute you leave, ladies, you are out of sight out of mind.

Why taking it all off doesn’t work

I’m not saying be a prude and cover up from the top of your neck to your ankles. I’m saying, ladies, dress to look nice and desirable as a human being not a piece of meat on display. Men don’t fall in love because of their libido.

They fall in love when they allow themselves to give up their heart. Commitment for a man is always a conscious choice. Until a man decides to commit, he will continue to play the field, often with more than one woman at a time.

Sure, most guys will gladly sleep with you, and they’ll be quite pleased with you for satisfying them. Here’s where you will get confused. Just because he sleeps with you doesn’t mean he loves you. In fact, it doesn’t even mean he LIKES you.

It just means you were willing, he was “in the mood” (which is every guy all the time) and so you did it. It in no way means anything else, in HIS mind as far as “commitment.” Rather it will be a pleasant instant gratification moment.

Another negative about jumping in the sack with your date is that the minute sex is involved, the communication level of a developing relationship seems to just freeze. However well you’ve gotten to know each other at that point seems to be as far as the relationship “depth” goes. This is a very bad consequence if you were trying to move him along the path of committing to you.

Thinking sex right away is a good idea? It’s not just you.

I can give you story after story, example after example to prove my case. I’ve seen the evidence all over America and I’ve seen it all through the entertainment industry (where I spent 16 years and all my single years).

I so feel bad for all these female celebrities because they are making the same mistakes many of you are and jumping in the sack, even getting pregnant, to try and catch their man. For them, the results are worse because they’ve just given the guy bragging rights for nabbing a celeb who they didn’t have to commit to first. Kudos to the guy, sympathies for the celebrity who will soon be dumped—that is if she was ever even considered a girlfriend.

Okay, okay, enough ranting, let me close in just telling you there are many other ways to capture that man’s heart than taking it off and using your body, no matter HOW amazing your body is.

Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.

How To Be Every Woman’s ‘Type’

Brad Howard — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:13:07 +0000

Guys might say they have ‘types’, like blondes, or short and petite, or like women with blue eyes, or brunettes, whatever.

But I’d guess that most of you never refer to your “type” as being “excessively overweight” or “big boned with a great personality.”

Yet, this is in fact what guys settle for when they think they have no shot at something better looking.

What women really want

Likewise, 99% of all women prefer a guy with a great body – regardless of hair and eye color, or how tall or short he is. There is no such thing as an attractive women who “prefers” a guy with a big sloppy gut, or a hot woman who would really like a guy with a weak sunken chest, no muscle in his arms and skinny twigs for legs.

Rest assured these body looks are not any woman’s “type”, they are just what women settle for when they realize they can’t get their hands on a better looking guy.

Now, of course you might say that rock stars or big time Hollywood celebrities get great looking women without being in any kind of shape, and I’ll agree to an extent, but if you’ll notice most of these guys are in pretty good shape too!

The research on body shape and attraction

There is current research that shows on average:

Women with great bodies have sex with guys that have great bodies.
Women with a few extra pounds tend to end up with guys with a few extra pounds.
And women who are really big, well you can fill the blank in here.

In other words, more often than not you’re going to end up in bed with a girl who’s body is only as good as yours.

In fact, studies show that it’s rare for a guy who is completely out of shape to constantly be having sex with women that have the hottest of hot bodies.It’s much more likely that the women available to you have a body that rates about the same as yours does.

So how do I get a great body?

So the question is how do you build a 10-rated body that will help you get the 10-rated women?

Fact: there is a precise measurable body shape and size that almost all women are attracted to without even KNOWING IT.

It’s totally subconscious. In other words, women will be drawn to you without knowing HOW or WHY. And, it doesn’t matter how tall or short you are, you have a specific shape and size that will fit on your frame and will spark attraction in all women.

If you’re like most men, you’ve probably read popular fitness magazines for workout and diet information. Or, if you’re a former athlete you might use the workout you learned playing sports. Maybe you know a personal trainer who can give you tips. You might even be a fitness enthusiast and personal trainer yourself and study this kind of stuff all the time.

But, I gotta tell you, building a body that women are subconsciously attracted to is more precise than any of this. It’s not child’s play.

I’ve been a professional trainer for over 10 years with graduate research in exercise physiology and nutrition under my belt so trust me when I say that the specific shape that men need to be in to subconsciously attract women is not obvious BY ANY MEANS.

I’ve spent the last year researching the psychology of attraction and the physiology of the male body shape that women find most attractive and the ONE THING that I uncovered throughout this grueling research is that there IS a specific body proportion that is deemed “perfect” and that almost every woman that you come in contact with will be attracted to.

This specific body shape is more muscular than the average man yet isn’t as “hulking” as one might think.

But, make no mistake, this musculature IS a clear sign of masculinity and dominance to women that they are instinctively attracted to.

Thinking short term relationships?

Incidentally, research also proves that women are more likely to have short term relationships that are based primarily on sex with more muscular men that posses this specific body shape and size. This even goes for women who are currently “attached”. As long as you have a better body than the guy she is dating there will be a certain number of women who just won’t be able to resist the urge to sleep with you! No dating or romancing required.

It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny, average, or heavy, your perfectly proportioned body is attainable just be willing to build it, and reap the benefits!

5 Tips For Finding Mr. or Mrs. Right

Stephany Alexander — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:21:16 +0000

Be realistic. We are all searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right but everyone has flaws. Set your expectations high but not so high that nobody can meet them.

To search for an accomplished, educated, attractive partner is realistic. Insisting your potential partner must have a Phd., be wealthy, with model looks, is not.

Stay positive and have fun

Plan your dates around activities that you both enjoy so even if things don’t work out, you have fun in the process. You may meet a lot of people you aren’t interested, but don’t give up. Think of your search similar to that of searching for a great job. It takes a lot of work but the payoff is well worth it.

Try different things

Experiment with various ways to meet new people. Don’t just try online dating, rather also allow your friends and family to set you up, take up a new hobby to meet someone with similar interests and actively put yourself out there so you can meet new people.

Stay true to your morals

If a date tries to pressure you into sex early on, simply move on to the next because there is a high probability they are pressuring others also. In this dangerous world we live in, practicing abstinence not only protects your health by protecting you from sexually transmitted diseases, it also prevents someone from using you like a piece of meat.

Write a great online profile

In order to find the person of your dreams, you need to have an eye-catching, well-written profile that tells a lot about you, including your likes AND dislikes. Overly sexy profile user names or photographs attract the wrong type of person. Treat your profile like a resume and spend some time on it by making sure you use proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. If you are searching for someone who has never been married with no children, say so.

Screen, Screen and Screen Some More

Ask a lot of questions and listen to your instinct. If something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t. For example, if your date says they are a doctor, ask them a series of medical questions.

If your date says they are single, phone them between the hours of 8p-11p and if they always have their phone turned off or an excuse for not answering, you may be getting involved with someone who is already committed because these are the times usually spent with a significant other and family.

It is imperative that you screen your dates as early on as possible because getting involved with the wrong person can destroy your life.

There are many different services on the internet where you can do a background check to see if you may be getting involved with a con-artist, an abuser, a convicted felon or a pedophile. It’s especially important for single mothers to screen their dates because pedophiles target them for access to their children.

It’s crucial not only to do a criminal background check on the person but also a character check on their relationship history. Women can research a man’s past relationship history on WomanSavers.com for free and men can do so at RateB4UDate.com.

We inspect our home before buying it, we have a mechanic check out a car before purchasing it, it’s simply naive not to check out a person who you may potentially be spending the rest of your life with.

In order to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, you need to be able to filter out all the wrongs. By taking some precautions, using your gut instinct and doing your homework, you can increase your chances of meeting the person of your dreams.

To learn more about Stephany Alexander, visit www.WomanSavers.com.

How Much Of A Man Are You? Your Adonis Index Defined

Brad Howard — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:06:32 +0000

On your top 10 list of things that you find attractive in a woman, I’ll bet facial beauty and a nice body account for 9 of the top 10 spots…and in many cases all 10.

In fact, the vast majority of men… and that’s me included… will probably give a bit on the face if the woman has a rockin’ body.

Yet, in this same regard, how much will you compromise if the woman has the prettiest face you’ve ever seen… but she’s carrying 10, maybe 15lbs over your ideal?

Exactly.

I don’t care how pretty a woman’s face is, if it’s attached to a body more suited for a walrus, that woman is not on your radar, or any other guy that you or I know. This is the girl with the “great personality” that just so happens to be the proverbial “grenade” every night she goes out.

“Personality” never gets a woman too far if she doesn’t have the looks and the body and quite frankly, the research proves it.

So, why do you think that would be any different for guys?

There ARE differences when it comes to attraction

Well, truth be known… there ARE some differences… but they are more subtle than most guys realize.

Attracting women, and especially a hot woman with a great body requires you to know what to say, when to say it, how to move and how to act… but studies also show that being in shape helps much more than most people are giving credit for.

You can believe it or not… but the fact is… if you’re in the throws of passion with a beautiful woman and your body is built like a Greek god… she won’t be able to keep her hands off of you… period.

The truth about the way your body looks

Taking care of the way you look and more specifically the shape of your body will not only go a long way in boosting your overall attractiveness to women… it will also boost your confidence in yourself, help you carry better posture, and command respect from other men.

AND… all of this happens the very second you step foot in any room… before you utter a single word.

Can you IMAGINE a more powerful tool to have on your side?

Look, I’ve been in the fitness and nutrition game for over 10 years studying it internationally and consulting professionally. I’ve done every style of training and diet you’ve ever read about, and probably a couple dozen you couldn’t even imagine and I gotta tell you… deep down… everyone understands this… but they never talk about it.

And, quite frankly… research clearly shows that over 91% of the people that DO exercise do so in the hopes that they’ll be able to improve their sexuality and attractiveness.

So with that said I decided to find out if there WAS a measurable perfect look… and whether a new workout and nutrition program that was designed to actually shape your body into its most attractive and appealing form to women would actually be feasible.

But I already work out!

Listen, if you go to the gym on a regular basis then you’re already ahead of the game and probably understand where I am going with this.

(If you don’t then your next order of business should be getting a gym membership.)

But once you’re at the gym… do you really know what look you’re trying to build while you’re there working out?

You might think you want bigger arms, or tighter abs, maybe a more muscular chest, but do you really know how much bigger your arms should be or even if tight abs are necessary to spark subconscious physical attraction in women everywhere?

Do you need to work on your shoulders and back too?

Fact is… most guys just wing it, and figure that working out is going to make them look better… and that bigger is most certainly always better.

Quite frankly, most guys have it all wrong and I can accurately tell you there is a specific body shape and size for every guy that women will find most attractive. And, this same shape will command respect and evoke jealous responses in other men, and exert a higher level of social dominance over everyone in the room

The specific body shape I am talking about is actually measurable right down to the inch for each male body. And… the kicker is that most guys are way off when they guess at what this should be, yet it’s not as hard to achieve as you might be thinking.

If you’re going to workout (and I suggest you do) you should do it with a purpose. Building a socially dominant body that women are attracted to is a pretty good purpose in my books. That’s why I’ve spent the past year researching this.

The Adonis Index

I’ve researched the attraction response women have to different male figures and have come up with a specific number called the Adonis Index for you to use to help determine the exact shape you should be in.

“But what IS my Adonis Index?”… you might ask.

Actually, it’s quite simple really… like all great things are.

Your Adonis Index is defined as the ratio of the circumference of your shoulders… to the circumference to your waist… with an IDEAL ratio being 1.614.

Don’t be fooled by its simplicity. Your Adonis Index might just be the most POWERFUL number to the male physique that’s ever been revealed.

(In fact, you should go determine out your Adonis Index today… before you do anything else.)

What it really means for you

Studies prove it. Artists and sculptors have used it. And so should you.

Think about it. No more worrying about your weight… it’s a crappy indicator of health and fitness anyway.

Now, you have a metric that actually MEANS something.

And… couple that with a research based male transformation program that is SPECIFICALLY FORMULATED to get you to that perfect Adonis Index ratio and you’ve now got your hands on some SERIOUS dating dynamite.

That program is known as the Adonis Effect.

After all sexual attraction stems from an age old animalistic instinct, and there is nothing more animalistic than how attracted a woman is to your body.

FACTS:

If you haven’t had a girl say she gets off on the look of your shoulders when you’re having sex, then you’ve got more military presses to do at the gym. If you haven’t experienced a girl who can’t keep her hands off of your arms, or chest, or any other part of your body, and even the slightest movement from you gets her hot, then you better get a new workout program.

At the core of it all we’re just animals and sexual attraction is a primal animal instinct. Society and language make it a bit of a trick but in general, confidence, body language and the way the male body looks to a woman is what gets her juices flowing.

Just think of how sexy a woman can be just by moving her body the right way.

No words need to be spoken for attraction to take place.

This same thing can happen in the opposite direction. If you don’t think girls can view guys like a piece of meat, think again!

Think of how convenient it would be for you to be able to attract a girl just based on how your body looks.

Remember, your outward appearance says a lot about your inner view of yourself… and don’t think that women aren’t aware of this. The look of your body and the way you carry yourself is a sure sign that women pick up on before you even have a chance to say a word to them.

Your Goal:

Combine an Adonis Index influenced socially dominant body with the best techniques you can learn from the other leaders in the dating and seduction community and you will be an unstoppable, instant attraction generating machine!

Getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men… The Adonis Index.

To find out how to use the Adonis Index to generate subsconcious physical attraction, visit the Adonis Effect website.

Online Dating? 5 Signs You Should Run Like Hell!

Lisa Quirke — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:45:39 +0000

Sometimes the big bad world of online dating can be very confusing. It seems it gets harder and harder to know when to trust a potential date. Use these 5 tips to know when you should pursue a connection or run like hell.

1. He takes no time to get to know you

So you get an email from someone telling you they’re interested in getting to know you. You check out the profile and see potential. Then you reply saying you are interested as well. The next email says, “Great! Let’s meet!”

Whoa Nelly! Slow down there just a bit. Two emails, especially short one or two liner emails, are not enough here. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not telling you to drag it out for months or even weeks, but do give it a few days at least.

But maybe more importantly, make sure you are having conversations with substance. You should be talking, asking questions, and really getting to know each other before a rushed meet. Otherwise, how do you even know he’s someone you want to know. And vice versa.

I learned this lesson the hard way recently with a date. He had emailed saying hello. I emailed back asking how he was. The very next email asked if I wanted to meet.

I agreed and was in for not only horrible date, but one that ended in text message harassment and physical threats.

Was that a bad call or what? I had no idea what I was getting into and, obviously, I made a bad judgment call. Don’t make the same mistake.

2. He makes you a goddess in 2.5 emails

This guy will woo you with romantic notions and flowery words. He will become “hooked” in record time and will proceed to fill your head with more cornball notions than you’ve ever seen or heard before.

One of the problems here is that, at first blush, it’s easy to get caught up in it all. That part of you that has been single and feeling less than desirable is thinking, “Well, it’s about time!” Back away for awhile and try to look at the conversation objectively.

If he immediately started in with nothing but excessive compliments and talk of finally finding the “one,” you have a problem. Not only that but if, in those first few emails, you suddenly have much more in common than it seemed from his profile, he may be telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

One guy I was chatting with didn’t have an occupation listed on his profile. When I suggested we perhaps after getting to know each awhile we might want to exchange phone numbers to continue the conversation, he responded that he didn’t have a phone. After all, he is a teacher too and being one myself, I could empathize with the amount of money teachers don’t make.

Really? Kind of a coincidence isn’t it? And, if we were really both in the same profession, I would have thought he would have mentioned it sooner.

3. He doesn’t respond to what you say

He emails. You respond by commenting on what he said. You throw in some observations and ask some questions. He replies completing ignoring the questions and responding only to a few ideas–ideas that he introduced into the conversation to begin with.

Maybe he’s flattered you by asking for more pictures which you obligingly send. Tit for tat right? But when you ask for more pictures of him, he completes ignores the request. The same applies if you ask questions regarding his profession or occupation, his kids, or previous relationships.

4. He’s so hot, but…

You get an email, open the profile, and then start drooling all over your keyboard. Wow! Could someone that hot really be interested in me?

Stop. Reign in your hormones and check out the rest of the profile. Is that one unbelievable photo the only one? Does it look like it came with the $7.95 picture frame he just bought?

If so, this dude very well not be who he claims to be. Can you say 350 pounds in a wife beater? Not only that but, if he’s posting a fake picture, it’s a relatively safe bet that the rest of the profile is fiction as well.

5. He just seems fishy

If things just don’t add up, he is probably not who he says he is. If he changes what he says or things he says don’t match what his profile says, these are first signs he may be lying. Other signs would be if after chatting for awhile, he won’t exchange contact information or shows no signs of meeting.

I met a guy a few years ago who completely fit this bill. He purportedly had a civil government job which required he split his time between two states. After exchanging phone numbers and missing his call any number of times, I realized that he was only calling during the day. Voicemails always said he would try me again and never suggested I call him, and there was always excuse as to why he couldn’t call in the evening.

Also, I never heard from him on the weekends. He only emailed and called Monday through Friday. Pretty good sign he was either married or had a girlfriend at the least.

Stay safe and trust your gut

The biggest thing is to trust your instincts. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, then something is probably wrong. If you find yourself going against your instincts, it just means that he’s very good at making women trust him. He’s got the whole game down to a science. Walk away.

It really almost goes without saying that you should never provide personal information too quickly, and yet many women make this mistake. While I am usually very guarded about such things, I have found myself lately revealing too much, too soon in some cases.

When the guy in #1 started harassing me with texts and I talked to my boss about it, his first question was “Does he know where you work?” Thank goodness I could honestly answer “No.” And yet there have been many cases when I have given that information out without a second thought. It becomes easy to become complacent, so until you are really sure you know someone, caution should be the rule rather than the exception.

Online Dating – How to Avoid the Single Biggest Mistake Most People Make

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:00:37 +0000

So what so you think is the single biggest mistake that most men – and women- make with online dating?

Put simply, most people use the shotgun approach to dating and hope to hit something, anything. They put no thought into what they are actually looking to get out of online dating or the type of person and relationship they’re really looking for.

And then they wonder why they’re not happy with the people they meet.

Not exactly the best approach for the most important aspect of your life, is it?

Watch this short video to find out how you can avoid this fatal mistake…

Also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Online Dating Safety for Men – Web Cam Girls, Identify Theft, and More

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 02:03:00 +0000

Just when you thought it was safe to try Online Dating...

It seems that with Online Dating it’s often the men, rather than the women who are getting preyed upon.

You can avoid being taken advantage of by being well informed and taking a few safety precautions.

Think these things can’t happen to you? Think again!

Identity theft? But her online profile looked really hot. There must be some mistake.
Why is she asking for my credit card to “see her special private photos?”
What’s a web cam girl and why do you care?

Watch this short video to find out how you can avoid becoming a victim…

Then, be sure to also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Online Dating – How to Get Her to Actually Respond to You

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 22:40:45 +0000

You can avoid this critical mistake that many men make with Online Dating.

So, you’ve found a girl that you’d like to meet. Now, what do you say to her in that crucial first email?

How do you capture her interest so that she’ll actually give you a chance?

And… what are the biggest things to avoid saying to women online?

Watch this short 2 minute video to find out the answers to these questions and more…

Then, be sure to also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Online Dating – How to Get 10 Times More Women Checking You Out

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 14:59:06 +0000

Here’s the Single Biggest Mistake that both men and women make with Online Dating.

Making this one small change to your Online Dating Profile can increase your response rate anywhere from 10 to 20 times – yes, 1000% or more.

So don’t wait. Watch this short 1 minute video right now to see how you can avoid it.

Then, be sure to also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Fatal Online Dating Mistakes – How NOT to Respond to Her Message

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 21:27:54 +0000

Here’s another fatal mistake that almost all men make with Online Dating.

Learn exactly how long you should really wait before responding to her message in this quick 1 minute video.

Then, be sure to also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Fatal Online Dating Mistakes – How to Avoid the Delete Key and Get Her to Actually Read Your Message

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 12:01:00 +0000

There are some very common mistakes that almost all men make with Online Dating. One of the biggest mistakes has to do with what you should and should not say in your first message to her.

Watch this 2 minute video where you’ll discover how to avoid the delete key & actually get her to read your message.

Then, be sure to also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Fatal Online Dating Mistakes – Sending Her Just a Wink ;-)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 03:41:36 +0000

There are some very common mistakes that almost all men make with Online Dating. This one may come as a surprise to you…

Watch this 2 minute video to find out just exactly why sending her a wink could be a fatal mistake.

Then, be sure to also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Relationship Secrets… Should I Have Told Her?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 21:05:00 +0000

The Question: I’ve been seeing a girl for 4 months. We were serious but she started teaching and wanted to take it down a notch because she is under so much stress from the internship and she has anxiety attacks and is on medication for them. I found out today that another reason she can’t be serious with me is that I get mad at things she thinks I shouldn’t.

During the 4 months we have been seeing each other I’ve kept it a secret that I have anger issues from a head injury I got a couple of years ago. This injury left me with small lesions that affected my mood, memory, and some motor and thinking skills. Even though I’ve been through therapy for it and have gotten somewhat better, I hate telling girls, or anyone else, because I don’t want to use it as a crutch or a sympathy card.

I got so worried after tonight that she was seriously going to dump me that I sent her an email telling her of my ailment. The last girl I dated and told her about it kinda disappeared, so I’m a bit scared what she will do because I really like this girl. I just couldn’t let her keep thinking that I’m a jerk when my anger is only so much in my control.

Should I have told her about the lesions and how they affect me or should I have kept my mouth shut?

The Answer:

Whether you should have told her or not doesn’t really matter since you already told her. What’s done is done. As a rule I never regret absolutely anything. You can choose to learn from all your choices and experiences and do something different next time, but stay away from regret and self doubt. They only hurt you and lead to uncertainty, which leads to more regrets.

But keep this in mind for the future… You should always talk about a serious or emotional topic in person, never on the phone or via email. In an emotional situation like this, if you really need to get it off your chest, type up that email and then save it in draft or delete it all together. You’ll feel better and will still have the opportunity to let things cool and have a calm chat in person.

From my perspective, full disclosure is a must if you’re considering a long term committed relationship with someone. Otherwise, secrets (small or large) seem to create a heaviness over the relationship because you’re always wondering if the other person will find out. Most likely, your partner will find out anyway because secrets have a way of coming out eventually.

It is however a good idea to wait to share certain intimate details until it looks like the relationship is actually going somewhere. Picture going on a first date with someone and you both go through a laundry list of countless little things that "the other person should know". Most of those are completely irrelevant if you don’t build a relationship. Unless you have a firm foundation and you truly want to be together, none of that stuff really matters… and it could torpedo your chances of getting to know each other.

Regardless of any disability, she was attracted to the person you are today, and the person you’ve been for those four months. Period.

Your best chance to salvage the relationship and keep her is to confront the anger problem aggressively. Start a new anger management therapy program, or whatever else you think will work, and include her. But definitely take action to make it better. That way she’ll see that you truly care for her and you’re serious about making her happy and being with her.

Second Date Ideas… Keeping it Fun and Exciting after the First Date

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 20:12:00 +0000

The Question: I have a second date with a special girl. I live in the Cleveland Ohio area. I found a place we can go to see x-mas lights on a horse-drawn wagon. She has a daughter and I’m thinking she is ready to settle down. I really like her and I’m ready to settle down. Do you think that the horse drawn wagon is a good idea and not too pushy or romantic?

The Answer:

The horse drawn carriage ride definitely sounds romantic and also very thoughtful. Everyone goes to dinner at some fancy place on their first dates – that’s not special. She’ll appreciate that you actually came up with something creative and romantic.

If you want to stand out from the crowd, always strive to be yourself, to be different… Don’t go on the same dates everyone else goes on, and don’t copy what everyone else does. Do something exciting and memorable, and most importantly – have fun.

Fun and happiness is extremely infections… people just can’t get enough.

One caveat… if she seems at all uncomfortable around you, then it may be best to take her to a more public place place like a restaurant. That way she won’t spend the evening with her guard up and the two of you should have a lot more fun. That’s usually more of a first date issue, but still keep it in mind.

In the end, you two will have to decide together. Tell her what you’re planning and let her choose what she’s most comfortable with. Better yet, brainstorm some ideas together, and come up with fun ideas for future dates. That way you’re way more likely to reach third date and beyond.

A word of caution on the topic of settling down… you’re not there yet. Don’t rush it. If you’re too focused on the end goal of “setting down” you could sabotage the relationship before it takes off by being too pushy or needy. When the time is right and you’re more comfortable around each other (you’ll know when that is…) – talk openly about how you both honestly feel about settling down. Make sure that you have that conversation in a neutral, no pressure environment and be prepared to listen to what the other person has to say.

Take this one day and one date at a time. Enjoy your time with her now and see how your relationship grows and evolves.

You’re definitely on the right track… keep it creative and exciting and fun.

For some fun and really unique date ideas, check out our review of Michael Webb’s excellent guide 300 Creative Dates.

Friends After Break Up… Why Won’t He Return My Calls?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:54:00 +0000

The Question: Last year Jim and I dated for a month then broke up. We’ve known each other for 4 years and after the break up last year we still remained friends. And then, this year in April we got back together again but he broke up with me about a month ago. He said he never wants to see or speak to me. Please tell me why he suddenly doesn’t want to be friends? Please help me because I need to know this to get over him.

The Answer:

There are many reasons why he may no longer want to be friends.

Here are some possible reasons why some find it difficult to stay friends after a breakup…

He may need time to heal emotionally. It could be painful to see you.
He may be seeing someone else and fears that being friends with you may jeopardize his new relationship.
If the breakup was difficult, he may be angry at you and need some time to cool off.
Being around you may bring up emotions and feelings that he’s trying to suppress.

It could be one of these or a hundred other different reasons and you’ll make yourself crazy trying to guess what that reason is. In the end, the ‘why’ doesn’t really matter because it’s an emotional decision, not a logical decision. When we try to identify the ‘why’, what we’re really doing is trying to come up with a logical explanation for an emotional decision. If you stop and think about this for just a moment, you’ll see why it doesn’t make sense to even try. So whatever the reasons, he’s decided that the two of you can’t be together and you need to face that and move forward with your life.

If you continue to try to figure it out, you’ll just end up blaming and finding all kinds of faults with yourself, which will in turn make you miserable. If you keep pushing him, you could end up spoiling any chance of a future friendship.

So STOP! Yes, right now. It’s time for you to move on with your life and find happiness.

One of the best ways to get over the pain of a relationship that has ended is to get back out there and date some new people – find that connection again.

Contrary to what some people think, we don’t believe it’s necessary to be miserable and alone for a certain period of time after a breakup just to avoid the rebound zone. Being lonely and alone won’t make you or anyone else happy. It’s almost like punishing yourself for no reason.

But what about these rebound relationships that we’re always hearing about? Don’t people warn you to stay away from rebound relationships?

Well, yes and no. Just be aware that when you break up with someone it’s very common to find someone that’s the exact opposite of the last person you were with. More specifically, the exact opposite of whatever you think didn’t like about your previous partner. This is good and bad. It’s good because experiencing many different types of people and relationships allows you to better identify the exact type of person who is really right for you. It’s bad because, this new ‘opposite’ person may also be opposite in all of the things that you actually liked about your previous partner. Just keep this in mind as you find yourself attracted to new people. Stop and ask yourself what it is that you like about him or her and make sure that it’s not just that they are ‘not’ like your previous partner.

By the way, if you do prefer to be alone for a while that’s OK too. It’s your life; you make the rules. Do what feels right in your heart.

Trying to figure out why your last relationship ended isn’t going to help you, it’s only going to make you miserable. So, keep an open mind, call up some friends, and go meet some new people. Listen to the advice of those you trust most and then always, always follow your heart even if it goes against their advice. You are in control of your destiny and what’s right for them may not be what’s right for you.

First Serious Relationship… Should We Date Other People?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 22:04:00 +0000

The Question: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost seven months now, and I love him a lot. He says he loves me too, and I believe him. We’re already talking about getting married after we graduate from college, but I feel uncomfortable sometimes because this is my first serious relationship. He, on the other hand, has had actual girlfriends before, and a lot of them. In fact, he started dating me about a week after his previous girlfriend broke up with him.

Maybe this shouldn’t bother me so much, but it hurts so much whenever I think about how he’s loved multiple girls before me. It just feels like if we broke up, he’d begin dating someone else right away. He promises this wouldn’t happen, but I’m not so sure. It wouldn’t bother me so much if I was his first girlfriend also. I feel like if we end up getting married, I’ll have wanted more dating experience.

I thought I should talk to him about this, but honestly, what good would it do? I can’t change the past, and I’m sure he doesn’t regret dating any of his past girlfriends, but I regret not having had more serious relationships. I thought maybe I could talk to him, and we could take a break for a month. I haven’t said anything to him yet, but I do want to know whether he’d date other girls during that month, or wait for me, proving he loves me.

I know it’s stupid and he shouldn’t have to prove his love. And maybe I’m just being paranoid, jealous, and vindictive… but it hurts, thinking of all his ex-girlfriends. What do you think I should do?

The Answer: First serious relationship or tenth serious relationship, the feelings that you’re feeling are perfectly normal. They’re feelings of ‘wanting control’. We all want to subtly, and some times directly, control other people – our friends, our parents, our boyfriends, our co-workers. We want to make them do, act, and say the things that we feel is best.

The easiest solution here is to try to let go and understand that you simply can’t control another person. You can love them, and they can love you, but you simply cannot ever control them and make them act the way you want them to. This is an illusion that has shattered countless relationships.

One of the biggest underlying problems in troubled relationships today is that people feel like they "own" their partner. This is the real reason behind jealousy and similar types of feelings. The best thing to do is to just allow other people to be themselves and love them for who they are and not who you want them to be.

It doesn’t matter who he’s been with before. It’s those decisions and those relationships that have made him the person you’re in love with. In the same respect, it’s your experiences, or lack of experiences that make you the person that he loves today.

If you want to date other people, then that’s cool. Just be up front about it, talk about it honestly, and make sure that it’s something you both want. But you shouldn’t set a double standard and definitely don’t use it as a test to see what he’d do. If you bring it up and he honors your suggestion, then that’s the deal. Simple. Just be prepared to accept the outcome. If you let the birdie out of it’s cage to see if it’ll fly away… it just might.

I’d stay away from the marriage talk for now. If and when the time is right, you’ll know. Some people get so excited about getting married quickly, we joke that it’s almost like locking in a low mortgage rate… "quick, sign here before the rate goes up".

Guess what? There’s no requirement for every relationship to turn into marriage. In fact, a lot of relationships sour that way because we all grow and change. Many times, we grow and change in different directions, regardless of what the legal marriage document says. It’s a good idea to take enough time to be sure that you’re both growing in the same direction.

Live your lives together, enjoy each other, and be happy on your journey together. Tomorrow will come soon enough and in it’s own time. Until then, enjoy what you have now.

Related Link: Are you just getting back into the dating scene? If you are then come check out a free personals site where you can browse through singles in your area or even find date ideas.

Honesty About Previous Sex Partners… How Much Do You Really Need To Share?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 22:25:00 +0000

The Question: I have been with a man for 5 months. He told me a few months ago that he has strong values and wants to wait for marriage to have sex. I was a little disappointed, but I respect his beliefs. We are very open with each other and I have never lied to him about anything until he asked me how many people I have slept with. I said 3, but the real number is around 40. I’ve never been so sure about someone in my life until I met him and wish to put my promiscuity in the past, but I fear he may look at me differently due to his strong values. That is why I wonder if it is necessary for me to tell him the real number of people I have had sex with. Or is this a lie that can remain a secret?

The Answer: My first response is that it’s no one else’s business how many people you’ve had sex with in the past or will have sex with the future…

Don’t allow yourself or your actions to be judged by another person. We make decisions every day and we learn from the results of those decisions and move on to the next decision. There is absolutely no reason to regret any decision you’ve ever made as long as you learned something from the experiences that followed. We grow with each experience, each choice, and each relationship. Some philosophers say that’s what life is really about – experiencing life so that we can discover who we truly want to be.

"We sometimes have to experience who we don’t want to be so that we can discover the person we want to become."

Each of us has our own set of core values that are important to us, but that doesn’t give us the right to push those values onto another person, nor to judge that person because they do not share our values now or in the past. Your partner should not judge you for your past actions because it is those actions and decisions that have made you the person that he or she loves today.

One man’s convictions, values, and moral beliefs are another man’s heresy. For thousands of years different societies have persecuted other cultures and societies for arbitrary "values" and "morality".

Ponder this for a moment… In the greater scheme of the Universe, what gives one man or society the right to determine what is right and wrong for everyone else? Or to force others to feel shame if they feel or believe differently?

If you are suppressing who you really are to match up with another person’s "strong values", realize that there’s nothing wrong with who you are, and there’s nothing in the world that makes their values and beliefs, or life experience, any better than yours. Period. Beware of convincing yourself to live up to someone else’s values. You could end up resenting the other person for it, which could end your relationship.

While I cannot make your decision for you as to whether or not to tell your boyfriend the actual number of people that you’ve slept with, I will say this: Open and honest communication in a relationship is vital to its growth and survival. If this is something that will haunt you and cause you distress on the inside, then you should tell him because suppressing it will affect your relationship. But if you can truly forgive yourself and let go of any guilt that you carry around regarding your past sexual activity, then I say let sleeping dogs lie and move on with your life.

Calling All Animal Lovers… Dan and Jennifer Team Up With DateMyPet.com

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 17:58:00 +0000

We’re really excited to tell you this…

We’ve just teamed up with DateMyPet.com to get the latest dating and relationship tips and advice to their members. Spreading the good word!

If you haven’t heard of DateMyPet.com yet, you’re missing out.

They’ve been featured by The Today Show, Good Morning America, MSNBC, the LA Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, and many other major traditional media outlets – and that’s just in 2006.

They’re a great example of a niche online dating site, for animal lovers like us.

In fact, DateMyPet.com was a major point of discussion in our revealing interview with Heather Vale for the soon to be released Online Dating Confessions ePackage where we reveal everything we’ve learned from our online dating business over the last three years. Stay tuned. You won’t want to miss this.

Have an awesome day!
Dan & Jennifer

P.S. If you love animals like we do, don’t forget to check out DateMyPet now.

______________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Match.com Learns a Few Tricks from MySpace and Facebook…

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 08:52:00 +0000

The big online dating sites haven’t changed much over the last few years. But that’s beginning to change…

Match.com is finally taking a page from the social networking playbook and adding "communities" or interest groups, much like MySpace and Facebook have done.

Instead of just plain searching, you can now browse all kinds of communities or "interest groups", from state and major cities, to religion, politics, smoking, etc.

MySpace has done some amazing things for getting people together based on their interests – it’s great to see the online dating sites going that same direction.

If you still haven’t tried Match.com, this could be a great time to take them up on their 3-day free trial. Give it a try.

Have a great day!
Dan & Jennifer

______________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Seems MySpace and Friendster Aren’t Just For Your Kids Anymore…

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 08:17:00 +0000

Ok, so we all got used to thinking about MySpace and Friendster as online hangouts for the college and younger crowd.

But something’s changed…

These amazingly popular social networking sites seem to have absorbed a large segment of the grown-up population.

According to Comscore, the nice folks who bring us website stats, the age of the average MySpace user is – get this – between 35 and 54.

“MySpace.com has the broadest appeal across age ranges, Facebook.com has created a niche among the college crowd, Friendster.com attracts a higher percentage of adults, and Xanga.com is most popular among younger teens. There is a misconception that social networking is the exclusive domain of teenagers, but this analysis confirms that the appeal of social networking sites is far broader.”

You can get down and dirty details from the ComScore press release here:
http://www.comscore.com/press/release.asp?press=1019

So, we’re not talking mostly college kids, but rather a majority of people who are over 35. Go figure.

Of course, there’s been a lot of back and forth between the "in the know" and the "wanna be in the know" people (a.k.a. "experts") on this for the last week or so.

The truth is probably somewhere in between, but the bottom line remains – MySpace isn’t just for your kids anymore.

Don’t be shy – leave a comment on this post and tell us what you think.

Have a great day!
Dan & Jennifer

______________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Users: It’s NOT OK to Lie in Your Profile

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 21:41:00 +0000

OPW — Sep 26 — It seems many users and a few industry notables are OK with white lies in profiles. Here’s my thoughts. Your comments please.

Lies are always good for the short term and bad for the long term. Singles need to hold themselves to a higher standard of integrity. I advise anyone who goes on a date and finds themselves in front of a liar to immediately excuse themselves from that date. "Sorry, I’m not comfortable continuing with this date because you lied to me. It was a pleasure meeting you however. Thanks, bye."

This should include lies about age, weight, pictures which are significantly inaccurate/photoshopped. Lies are the BANE of this industry. A huge detriment. I highly, highly recommend site owners to advise their users to represent themslevs in their best possible light within the realms of complete honesty.

One of the reasons services like Great Expectations and The Right One are doing well, and charging thousands of dollars, is because their clients expect to see truthful profiles and know, truly, who they are meeting before their first date. Less surprises, means more value to clients. Higher integrity leads to higher profits…in the long run. – Mark Brooks

ReviewPlace.com gives “Online Dating – Finding Love Online” 5 stars!!!

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 11:49:00 +0000

Review Place recently awarded a five-star rating to ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online,’ an e-book that teaches the art of online dating.

‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ literally offers the insider’s track…

The e-book’s authors, Dan and Jennifer, actually founded a successful online dating site. As a consolidation of their vast experience, ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ helps lonely hearts find their match online. The e-book walks the reader through the ins and outs of online dating, from writing an attention-grabbing profile to crafting winning emails and responses. The reader learns how to avoid being disappointed by recognizing warning signs and weeding out scammers. ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ even provides help for handling that first date!

"In our quest to help our members become more successful, we have personally reviewed tens of thousands of profiles," said Dan and Jennifer, authors of ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’, "Our book contains the top strategies and tactics that ensure success in online dating."

" ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ is a valuable resource for anyone who subscribes to online dating services or frequents online communities," said Andy West, the Press Relations representative for Review Place. "With Dan and Jennifer’s extensive research on proven online dating techniques and strategies, this e-book is sure to help readers find what they are looking for. It’s no surprise our reviewers gave ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ a top rating."

One of the leading consumer-driven online communities, Review Place provides reviews on thousands of products and services. Review Place categories include home based businesses, employment services, relationship advice and many more. The site is dedicated to saving you time and money by providing quality information on the issues that impact your life. To see the complete list of categories, visit http://www.reviewplace.com/.

To find out more about ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ and other related services, including descriptions, testimonials, and product reviews, please visit Review Place’s Dating Tips & Advice category by copying and pasting this link into your browser: www.reviewplace.com/cat-88-OnlineDating–dating-tips-advice.html.

Online Dating Tips – I See Someone I Like – Now What?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 16:37:00 +0000

So, you’ve signed up to a couple of dating sites and have actually found a few people you’d like to get to know better… maybe even date. What do you do now?

Well, you can put up your profile and wait for someone to contact you, but you’ll probably get much better results if you take the initiative. When you find someone interesting and feel the urge to say “Hey”, don’t be bashful! That person may just love to hear from you. After all, they created a profile, just like you, in hopes of meeting someone. You definitely won’t know unless you contact them and find out.

Ladies, don’t be shy – men love to be pursued!

How do you initiate contact?

The most common ways to contact someone is with an email, an instant message, or a ‘wink’.

I recommend saving the instant messaging until you’ve exchanged a few emails because it gives you more time to think about what you are going to say and to get a feel for the other person. Once you get more familiar with each other, then you can start chatting.

If you don’t have a paid membership, you’ll most likely be limited to using ‘winks’ or ‘smiles’ or something similar. These are canned messages that will say something like “Nancy is interested in you” or “Joe winked at you”. Winks and smiles are a quick way to say hello but drastically limit your ability to pique someone’s interest. This puts a lot of pressure on having a terrific profile because it will have to do all of your talking for you.

Email is best in the beginning.

Emailing a potential date is a lot like flirting. The purpose of the first email is to get them to respond, to open a dialogue. You want to get their interest but leave it open ended so that they will respond back to you. Keep your emails short and charming. Another tip: don’t send a barrage of emails to one person, follow their pace and try to keep up. (If they send 4 a week, you send 4 or so a week.)

So How Do You Write That First Email?

When replying to personal ads, try to be, well, personable. Write at least a paragraph or two about yourself and what you like about them or their personal ad. Many of the principles of profile writing apply to email, such as staying positive, being honest, and paying close attention to spelling and grammar.

Meeting someone online is very exciting and can make you feel like a love struck teenager, but do your best not to sound like one. Most of us are looking for someone that is a little more mature, someone that has potential for being a lifetime partner. When you first start communicating with a person, there is nothing wrong with flirtation, being happy, and laughing, but make sure it’s not over the top. Also, don’t start by pouring out your soul, telling him or her all about your ex-spouse or ex-significant other. Avoid talking about personal things such as financial problems, health issues, or stories about your dysfunctional family. This is a huge turnoff, and an excellent way to scare someone away. Save that kind of talk for your Thursday night poker game or day at the hairdresser. If you are a single parent, a little bit of conversation about your kids is fine to break the ice and find common ground, but remember you are trying to build a romantic connection, so keep it too a minimum.

Always be honest!

If the relationship moves forward, the truth will come out eventually. It’s far better to be yourself up front rather than tell a silly lie in the beginning, only to be found out and have a potential relationship fall apart.

Keep it positive!

The last thing anyone wants is to send a message to someone and in the response, hear all about their past failed relationships, health problems, or financial woes. You can share the doom and gloom after you get to know each other a little bit. Or better yet, just put all that stuff behind you and move on. There’s no time like the present to start fresh!

Compliment something you found interesting in their profile.

This is where it’s important to read the person’s profile. It gives you things to talk about. For example, if you are a woman and you find a man interesting and he has Labrador dogs just like you, you could say something like, “Hi. My name is Mary and I noticed in your profile that you have Labs. I do too!” From there, give a brief description of your dog, mention that you would enjoy hearing back, and sign off…

Avoid overtly sexual comments.

Don’t come on too strong at first with sexual innuendos and try not to comment on the person’s photo. Find something a little more ‘deep’ to comment on, maybe something they said in their description.

Find a way to continue the communication.

The main point of the first email is to get them to notice you and to respond back to you. Don’t give up too much information, but tell them enough to get them interested. You are trying to get a conversation going, so asking questions is a good idea, as long as you don’t ask too many.

Mention things you have in common, and ask a question or two about them.

For example, when you first start messaging with someone, you could ask, “Did you do anything fun this week?” “Do you have any great plans for the weekend?” This will help you learn more about the person without seeming nosey. After you have been communicating with someone special for a while, you can use innocent questions to see if you can find an opening in time when the two of you might meet.

Try to avoid long letters with little details that might be considered boring.

Keep it to the point, but try to let your personality shine through. Then, a good rule of thumb is “compliments and questions.” An earnest compliment on the person’s accomplishments, writing style, or life goals will say a lot.

Here are a couple of good, ice-breaking starter topics:

If you live in the same area, comment on the area, or something relating to it. If you don’t live in the same area, you can ask questions about where they are.
Music and movies are also a good conversation-starter; most everyone likes some kind of music or movie.
Maybe you went to the same college or better yet, a rival school. Poking fun at rival schools is always a fun way to break the ice.

And sign your real first name…

If you work this right, the person will contact you back. Remember, even if you get a response, you’ll have to keep their interest. In the emails that follow, keep asking questions and keep complimenting (while remaining honest and positive). When you feel comfortable, you can move on to more intimate forms of communication like instant messaging, the telephone, and eventually, meeting in person.

If a day goes by and you haven’t heard from them, rather than inundate the individual’s mailbox with messages, leave one short, sweet message that provides a small hint to prompt him or her to reply.

Remember…

Don’t give out your full name, personal email address, or phone number in this initial email; wait until you’re both interested and it’s apparent that it’s going somewhere.

Frustrated with Online Dating? Nobody Checkin’ You Out?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 18:37:00 +0000

Are you sick and tired of nobody checking out your online dating profile? Feeling like it’s all a big scam? Is the joke on you?

You’re about to find out the one single biggest things that you can do to have good-looking singles begging to meet you…

If you want to meet someone online, there’s one thing that you’ll definitely want to do – post a good, recent, smiling photo of yourself. If you can post more than one, even better!

Why upload your photo?

A Picture Is Worth 1000 Emails. Statistics have consistently shown that profiles with photos get a minimum of 10 times more looks. Many (actually most) people only search for profiles with photos. (Admit it. You do it too.) That means that if you don’t have a photo, people are not going to look at your profile. You might as well delete it, close out you account on Match.com, and head to you favorite bar.

I understand that you may be a little afraid to post your picture on the internet , but it will be very difficult to meet anyone worthwhile online without one. Think about it…. Put yourself in someone else’s place. Would you contact someone without a photo? When you search, don’t you want to see people with pictures?

The old saying that a picture is worth a 1000 words still applies. Your age, height, and hobbies may sound cool, but is that enough to pay cold hard cash to contact you?

Even if someone does contact you, the first thing they’ll want to know is what you look like . Also, many people don’t really trust the internet and may feel that you’re hiding something if you don’t post a photo – like your spouse and kids. They may assume you’re cheating on your partner or even that you’re a criminal.

Your photo makes you ‘real’. It gives you an identity.

With online dating, your photo can create a spark or chemistry that mere words cannot. Remember, most dating sites charge money to communicate with someone, so making that step to contact you or to respond to your message involves a bit of commitment, and not having a picture is just one more reason not to do it.

Just like updating your profile frequently, posting a photo will often get you placed at the top of the search results – above members without photos .

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

One reason you might not post a photo is because you think you’re ugly, or fat, or unattractive in some way. First of all, you’re probably wrong. Don’t worry about how you look. You’ll have to show yourself eventually! Even the best looking people look ugly when they don’t smile. So smile! If you’re not conventionally attractive, a confident, genuine smile can only do you good.

There are lots of techniques to make sure your photo is the best it can be.

You can crop or otherwise enhance you photo to make sure that your best side shows through. Most digital cameras come with free software that will help you do basic photo editing. Even if you use a 35mm camera and take to the store for development, most film developers offer the option of a digital CD of your pictures.

Tips for Winning Photos

Use a recent photo . Even if you looked better when you were 20 pounds lighter and five years younger, the moment your date sees you in real life, they’ll realize that you have lied to them. Yes LIED! That’s how the other person will perceive it.

Use a good camera. Even though most cell phones these days take photos, they often turn out fuzzy or dim. If you don’t have a good camera, get creative. Ask a friend to take your picture or go to photographer and have a professional photo taken (Isn’t it worth it to invest in a professional photo if it brings you your dream partner?). Head shots are best – we want to see your face. Really!

Your picture should be fun, sexy, and interesting - not a mug shot and not pornographic either (unless you on an adult site, like AdultFriendFinder, that encourages that sort of photo). Many people, however, are turned off by overly sexy photos.

DON’T post a photo of you and your ex or a photo where your ex has been cut out or colored out. This implies that you have no pictures of yourself where there isn’t some other person attached to you. It also implies that people are disposable to you – not good!

Avoid posting photos with your kids. I know they’re important to you (I love mine unconditionally), but giving them too much prominence in your profile leads others to think you’re looking for a replacement dad or mom, rather than a partner for yourself. Mention them in the profile and then send pictures if your prospect expresses interest. Having said that, if you’re looking for a replacement mom or dad – be honest about that too and save yourself the grief and heartache later on.

Need A Professional Quality Digital Photo?

Here are two websites that will take your picture for you. I was amazed by what these guys can do and highly recommend them.

LookBetterOnline – Professional Internet Dating Photographers
DatingHeadshots – Internet Dating Headshots

First Date Question – How Can I Avoid the Conversation Dead Zone and Keep From Striking Out?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 11:56:00 +0000

The Question

"I get stuck trying to start the conversation. Absolute silence drives me crazy. The ice breaker that I say usually ends up being something really stupid." – Anonymous

The Honest Answer

We’ve all been there before – that awkward silence that occurs when you’ve just met someone and have no idea what to say…

Just picture this in your mind… You’ve just met someone new and you’re a little unsure what to say to make a good first impression. Maybe you’re a little shy and a lot nervous! Maybe you’re just tired from a long day at the office. Regardless, you’re completely stuck and cannot think of a single intelligent thing to say. To make matters worse, your date isn’t saying anything either.

It’s the "FIRST DATE DEAD ZONE!" – Help! Someone say something… anything… Quick!

Is your fax machine more articulate that you?

No, your fax machine simply has an established protocol for first dates. Think back to the last time you faxed a document to someone. Your fax machine makes a connection to the other fax machine, and then you hear all kinds of gibberish before the document starts going through.

Did you ever wonder what that’s all about?

Well, the two fax machines are basically saying hello and setting the tone of the conversation, how fast they’re going to talk, what language they are going to use, and how long they’re going to chat.

It’s very similar to those first few minutes with your date.

You’re getting to know a brand new person
You’re getting used to their speech patterns and body language
You’re figuring out their sense of humor (which can in and of itself change the tone of the conversation completely)
You’re trying to determine their intentions. Are they really friendly? Can you trust them? Do the mean you any harm?
Do you really, really like them?

You simply need to implement your own personal first date protocol.

It’s important to remember that WHAT is said during those first few minutes doesn’t really matter. What is important is to establish that initial, friendly connection with the other person.

Here are some communication 101 tips for getting started on the right foot.

Be friendly and genuinely nice
Show concern for the other person’s feelings
Truly listen to them – look them in the eyes (I know that’s a tough one but you can do it.)

That’s great, but what do I say? Is there a canned ice breaker for every occasion?

Not exactly, but there’s always something you can say to alleviate the awkward silence.

These ideas should work in most first date situations.

Ask about their day… How was it?
Ask about their work… What do they do? How do they like it?
Inquire about pets and children. How many? Names? Ages?
Do they have anything that they like to do when they’re not working? Hobbies? Sports? Etc.

I know these sound rather generic, but the idea behind these simple questions is to find something that you both enjoy and feel comfortable talking about. Hopefully, you will find some things that you have in common.

However, it is important to not get too personal too fast . Show interest, and ask further probing questions, but don’t be too intrusive. You don’t want to scare the other person off.

So why do we freeze up on the first date?

In most cases, that uncomfortable silence (which can often cause panic for some), is based on fear. Yes, fear…

Fear that you’ll say something really stupid
Fear that you’ll have nothing in common
Fear that the other person won’t like you
Fear of being put on the spot to perform

How do you overcome YOUR fear?

Although there isn’t a magic formula that will save you every time, there is a solution to your problem. Take a little time before your date to come up with a few simple and general questions that you can ask or compliments that you might be able to make. Write them down on a piece of paper. Keep the piece of paper in your wallet or purse. You don’t necessarily have to look at it – just having it with you and knowing that it’s there will help you remember.

If you get really stuck, excuse yourself to the restroom and look at your cheat sheet. When you return, you will surely impress your date with your thoughtful and caring questions.

Stay tuned, more soon…

We encourage our readers to send us their most pressing online dating and relationship questions. If you haven’t told us your biggest dating question yet, you’ll want to go to AskDanAndJennifer.com and do it now before you forget.

For some fun and really unique date ideas, check out our review of Michael Webb’s excellent book 300 Creative Dates.

Online Dating Question – How Can You Spot a Fake Online Profile?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 10:41:00 +0000

The Question

How do you know that the profile is for real and not something made up to get you to join the online dating site? I would get lots of emails from a dating site so I would join it, and then the emails just stop. What’s up with that? - Anonymous

The Honest Answer

To avoid online dating scams, your best bet is to stick with the major online dating sites that have been around for a few years and have a large member base. They won’t admit it, but I have personally seen some of the smaller or more obscure dating sites ‘pad’ the website with fake profiles and even go so far as to send a message to their members from this ‘fake’ person in the hopes of generating more activity on the site.

The larger, more well known dating sites have no reason to do this and generally have employees whose job it is to monitor new accounts and weed out the spammers and the scammers. The larger sites also have a public image to protect, which works in your favor. If you suspect someone of being a spammer or scammer, make sure that you report them immediately to the website’s support team.

Why do the messages stop after you join?

There are all kinds of reasons that a real person may not answer your messages and many of them have nothing to do with you personally. Maybe they got really busy, left town on vacation, or decided that online dating is just not their thing. The important thing here is not to get discouraged. There are lots more fish in the sea.

I would recommend trying to send a few messages over the course of a few weeks before deciding to give up entirely. And then, if you still don’t here anything, move on.

There are situations where the person messaging you could be a scammer trying to contact you for whatever reason. Those accounts are often found and terminated quickly on the major dating sites. So by the time you respond, the account may have been deleted.

You might also get a wink from a girl who’s not actually a paying member of that site. If you join to message her she may not be able to respond unless she pays… and she may not be willing to do that. If she’s not willing to pay to talk to you, then she’s not worth your time anyway. Move on to the next cute girl on your list.

Red flags. How can you know the real people from the scammers?

“Red flags” are defined as those little things that you can look for in a person’s profile that indicate the profile may be fake. Although there is really no way to know for sure if a profile is real or fake, there are some red flags that you should watch out for.

Here are some examples of what I mean when I say “red flags”…

• The person invites you to check him or her out at a different website. This could still be a real profile, but it could also be an invitation to sign up to a porn site.

• If a woman you have never met, sends you a message that is extremely forward and flirty, she might just be a porn model or cam girl trying to lure you to her site, or a prostitute trying to get clients.

• A really great looking guy or girl (we’re talking super model quality) sends you a message even though you haven’t even uploaded a photo or filled out your profile.

• The grammar in the profile is of very poor quality and sounds foreign. There are a lot a spammers, often from Russia and Nigeria (and many other places), that specifically target dating sites and other social network sites, such as MySpace and Friendster.

• If a person requests your personal information such as phone number, address, or any other type of personal or financial information, they may just be using the dating site to collect information to use for identity theft or some other fraudulent scam.

• If for any reason, the person or the message seems ‘to good to be true’, this should urge you be careful.

I’m not saying that you should never respond to messages that meet these criteria, but if you do, proceed with caution!

You’ll be fine if you just use common sense. Remember, online or not, real world rules still apply.

Dating and Relationship Advice – Can You Use the Law of Attraction to Find True Love?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 17:55:00 +0000

Have you ever noticed that when you start thinking about buying a new car, you start to see that car everywhere you go? This happens to all of us on both a very small and very large scale. For our purposes, we are talking about the very common idea that our “thoughts create our reality”.

Now, you may be thinking…

“Wait, this sounds really weird. I’ve never heard of this stuff before, so it must be bogus.” Hold that thought for just a minute… If you’re not already in the perfect relationship and your life isn’t already exactly as you want it to be, then keep reading. This very short article could just change your life for the better.

So what is the Law of Attraction? Simply put it is a Universal Law that says we will attract into our lives the things that we focus our attention on, whether it is positive or negative. Whether you are aware of it or not, every thought you have, every emotion you feel, everything you hear and read, affects your reality.

So what does that have to do with dating and relationships?

By truly understanding what you want from a relationship and applying some very basic Law of Attraction principles, you will ensure that you get what you truly desire. It is important to understand exactly what physical traits, behaviors, values, beliefs, and interests are important to you so that you can focus on what you want in your relationship instead of what you don’t want.

Remember, you will get what you focus on.

Many times, people will go from one failed relationship to another without giving any thought whatsoever to why or how their relationships keep failing. Even better, they over correct and end up in another relationship that fails for similar, yet opposite extreme reasons.

“If you’re like I was, you have no idea what you really want
from your next relationship – only it should be completely different from
the last one that failed so miserably!”

I certainly knew what I didn’t want – at least from the relationship that just ended. Wouldn’t it have been great if I would have taken the time to think about all of the failed relationships and combined all that heartache into one clear idea of what I did and did not want in a relationship? I could have saved myself a few swings of the pendulum.

How do I ‘Attract’ the perfect relationship for me?

I’m going to show you a real quick and simple way to Attract the exact person that you are looking for – Your dream date!

Take out a piece of paper and write down everything you want in your perfect relationship. What is he or she like? How do they look, smell, talk? What kinds of things will you do together? How do you feel when you’re around them? Really get into this and take the time to write down every detail. It’ll be well worth it in the end.

Most people never take this step of writing down what they want and yet it is the single most important step in finding the partner of their dreams.

“Do you know that by simply writing down what you want, you increase your chances of getting it by 80%!”

Just think about that for a minute…

Don’t doubt yourself. Assume that you are perfect in every way and there is nothing standing in your way of getting exactly what you want. Not money, or looks, or time, or anything else.

“Imagine… You can have anything that you want!”

When you have finished this exercise, you will be well ahead of the game. Take as long as you need… This is key to your ultimate success!

Be VERY clear in your mind about what you want. Otherwise, the Universe will have no idea what you really want – and that’s what it will give you. (Just a quick note, when I say ‘Universe’, I mean God, Buddha, Mother Earth, or whatever term you use for your universal higher power.)

Confused? Stay with me here… Imagine going to a restaurant and ordering a hamburger. The waiter turns in your order. Before your hamburger arrives, you change your order. Now you tell the waiter that you really want a steak. The waiter turns in your order. Before your steak arrives, you tell the waiter that you have changed your mind again and would like a salad. Now at this point, most waiters would tell you to make the salad yourself. The Universe will not do this, but can you see how it is very difficult for the Universe to give you exactly what you want when you don’t even know?

OK – finished?

If you didn’t do it – go back and do it. I said that this would be simple, but you still have to do a little of the work.

Now that you’re very clear about what you really desire in a partner, take that piece of paper, fold it up and carry it with you for at least a week. Carry it in your pocket, in your wallet or purse, or in your underwear. It doesn’t matter where you put it, as long as you keep it with you for at least a week. Every time you remember that you have this piece of paper with you, remember the feeling of what it will be like to be with your partner. Really feel it!

There’s one more very important step. During this week, make sure that you listen to your gut, or inner voice. If it tells you to stop at the dry cleaners on Tuesday when you normally go on Thursday, go on Tuesday! You may meet you soul mate while your standing in line. The point here is that you’ve placed your order with the Universe, now you need to pay attention to the signs that are being sent your way and ACT ON THEM!

That’s really all there is to this exercise. If you’re interested in learning more about the Law of Attraction and how it can change your life, here are some of my favorite books on the subject. Read them all – twice!

“Ask and It Is Given”, by Jerry and Ester Hicks
“The Power of Intention”, by Wayne Dyer
“The Attractor Factor”, by Joe Vitale

Online Dating – Why Almost All Men Blow It in the First E-mail

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 17:44:00 +0000

The EZ Guide 2 Online Dating experts help thousands of men avoid the relationship killers that almost all men make in that first email. With women out numbering men on most dating sites by at least 2 to 1, how is a guy supposed to get noticed?

(PRWEB via PR Web Direct) July 31, 2006 – The experts at EZ Guide 2 Online Dating help thousands of men avoid the instant relationship killers that almost all men make in that first email. They want to ask women, "What will make you read a guys message and not hit the delete key without even giving him a chance?"

Reports estimate that 50% of online singles have met less than two people in person as a result of online dating. Many men have never actually met a woman in person as a result of online dating.

"Fact #1: There are 16 million singles attempting to find their perfect match with online dating – 11 million of those are Men."

"Fact #2: A good looking female profile will get more than 100 winks and 50 messages in a single day."

What does this mean? It means that even the most awesome profile and the most intriguing message may never be read.

How is that possible? Simple… Women with good online profiles get tons of winks and messages every single day.

So, how is a guy supposed to get her to open and read his email and not hit the delete key? The experts behind the EZ Guide 2 Online Dating are offering a free online dating report to help men avoid the most common devastating email mistakes so that he can get out from behind the computer and actually real meet women in person. That is the end goal is it not?

But they are not stopping there…

They want to ask the millions of online women what they recommend. To all the ladies who are sick of getting lame emails from guys who obviously did not even read their profile, now is their chance to tell them all about it.

They are inviting all women to take the "How Do I Get You to Open My Email?" survey and tell the guys what they want to see in an email to keep them from hitting the delete key and actually give the poor guy a chance. The results will be published at the EZ Guide 2 Online Dating for everyone to see.

They encourage any adult over 21 to download this free report and take the "How Do I Get You to Open My Email" survey today. Respondents will be added to a special notification list alerting them when survey results are published.

The experts at the EZ Guide 2 Online Dating hope to help online singles actually meet real people with the answers to this survey – to help people communicate better and actually meet someone with Online Dating.

Download this press release as an Adobe PDF document.

For more information contact:
Claire Brent
http://onlinedating.ezguide2.com/
+40720770773

Online Dating Question – I’m a Good Catch. Are all the Women in My Area Stupid?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 14:06:00 +0000

The Question

I need someone to help me try to stand out. There is no one around here that can help me. That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH! - Phil in Illinois

The Honest Answer

We’ll respond to the last part of Phil’s question first and then tell you a few quick tips to really make your online profile stand out from all the other guys on any dating site.

Part 1: “…That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH!”

When you’re trying to appeal to another person , i.e. to attract that really cute girl, take a look at yourself from her perspective, and figure out what would be attractive and what is important to her. Take the time to write down all of your best qualities “from her perspective”. At that point it’s about her, not about you.

Maybe you’re coming across as a little too strong (read: arrogant). Many women like subtle confidence but not arrogance. You need to be sure of yourself without offending her.

Focus on your best qualities in your headline and online profile details. Also – and this is VERY important – remember that every person is a unique individual, with distinct preferences and tastes. What is a “great catch” to one person could be a turn off to another person, and vice versa. Be careful of assuming that other people perceive things the same way you do – that’s rarely the case and will often get you into trouble, especially with women.

Part 2: “I need someone to help me try to stand out…”

Here are some simple things that you can do to REALLY stand out among all of the other men on any dating site.

Upload a Quality Photo

We will continue to hammer on this one until every guy out there gets it! Most men do not upload their photo and the fact is that profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without. And get this, profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more looks than profiles with poor photos.

The key word here is QUALITY PHOTO. That’s where most men who do upload a photo really mess up. They upload a poor grainy photo, or worse yet, they upload a photo with their ex-girlfriend scribbled out. If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile. This is the single biggest thing you can do to stand out!

Write a Catchy Headline

When it comes to writing an online profile, it is easy to make the mistake of not paying enough attention to your headline. Most people will click on a profile with a catchy headline just to see what the person has to say next.

The whole purpose of your headline is to get the other person to want to know more about you. Your headline should be something special about you, but still make them curious. You’re trying to get them to want to read more of your profile, so it helps to either ask a question that the reader might think will be answered in the profile, or try and establish a sense of mystery.

Have a well -written, intriguing profile

Writing about your self in paragraph form can be a very daunting task. What do I say? Where do I begin? Why are they making me do this? First, take a deep breath and relax. Taking the time to write a good profile will attract more compatible women to your profile and save you a lot of wasted time and energy in the end. There are some basic and simple rules that can make the process much easier.

Be yourself. Honesty is the Best Policy . Even though it may be tempting to fudge a little bit on your weight, your age, or your marital status, the best way to ensure that you will find the person that you are looking for is to BE HONEST!

Write like you speak. Be yourself. Sure, you’re trying to put your best foot forward, but you’re also trying to find someone who likes you for who you really are.

Target your market. Don’t talk “leather and whips” when your looking for true romance at eHarmony and in the same respect, don’t use words like “true love” when you are looking for a one-night stand at Adult Friend Finder.

Be specific. Avoid generalities. Use concrete examples from your life. Instead of saying “I like football,” you can say “I like watching the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night at my favorite sports bar. You can see how that says so much more about you. What things are most important to you in life? Is it health, career, family, fun, learning, religion, or personal development? The things you choose to prioritize say a lot about who you are; including them in your profile will attract the right type of woman to you and lead others away.

Don’t forget to spell check . Nothing is worse than reading a profile that starts with “maybe your the one for me” or something worse. (In case you didn’t catch that it should be ” you’re” instead of “your”.) Sure, we’re not all perfect, but that squiggly red line under half of your text is there for a reason.

Will it be Adult Friend Finder or PerfectMatch.com? Top 10 Tips for Finding the Best Online Dating Site for You…

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 08:26:00 +0000

Question: What could PerfectMatch.com, eHarmony, and Adult Friend Finder possibly have in common and why do you care?

Answer: They are all online dating sites designed with a very specific objective and person in mind. Fact is, an amazing number of people sign up to the wrong dating site and wonder why it doesn’t work for them.

Adult Friend Finder is intended for people looking for a casual, and in most cases, a sexual relationship, A.K.A. "not looking for marriage".

eHarmony is intended for people looking for a long-term, serious relationship, A.K.A. "looking for marriage". But with the endless forms to fill out before signing up… most people don’t make it to the other side.

PerfectMatch.com falls somewhere in between, focusing on casual dating that may potentially turn into a long term relationship. This is also a great option for a dating site with true scientific matching.

Many people join dating sites like Adult Friend Finder simply to ‘browse’… If you are looking for some good ADULT entertainment, skip the added overhead of a dating site and try Sizzling Cams or Totally Free Cams.

(WARNING: These sites contains adult content and nudity. If that kind of stuff offends you, don’t click on the links.) You may also want to turn off your sound before you visit these sites…

So, if you are looking for a serious relationship, don’t you think it would be a mistake to join Adult Friend Finder? Yes, it may be fun to look around and flirt, etc., but are you really being honest with yourself and with the other members of that site?

There are literally hundreds, even thousands, of dating sites to choose from.
How do you know which ones are right for you?

As you begin your search for the best online dating site, you will probably be surprised by the number of options. Online dating services are popping up daily on the internet, making the decision of choosing the "right" service a bit overwhelming.

It’s well worth the extra time to find 2 or 3 dating sites that fit your personality and offer the services that you’re looking for. Narrow down the list of potential online dating sites to your top 3 and then compare them to determine the pros and cons of each one. Pay particular attention to the monthly cost and features offered by each dating site.

While more and more ‘free’ dating sites are becoming available, most sites differentiate between free and paid memberships. In general, most dating sites will let you upload your profile and a few photos, and search through their database of profiles for free (but they may not let you see all of the details). You will most likely have to pay for any additional features.

Once you’ve chosen a few, sign up for each of them. It only takes a little extra time and you’re sure to meet different people on each of the different sites.

Here are some excellent tips for finding a service that will best match your needs:

Establish a budget.
Decide how much money you want to spend, and set a budget. Most online dating websites charge a recurring monthly fee, but there are a few that have a one-time membership fee, and even fewer totally free sites. Determine up front how much you want to spend so that you can narrow your choices and avoid sites that don’t fit in your budget.
Ask for references.
Talk to friends and family to see if they or anyone they know has had a good experience with a particular online dating website. If you don’t know anyone, you can always check out an online dating guide. Just go to your favorite search engine and type in "online dating guide". You’ll get plenty to choose from.
Try to choose an online dating service that has been around for a couple of years.
The best way to find out how long a website has been around is to go to the website’s "About Us" page where you will learn not only the date the site was started but also the company’s philosophy. Another good source of information is the “FAQ”, or frequently asked questions page on the website.
Do your research.
Take the time to check your favorite search engines for popular dating sites. Try searching terms like "online dating", "meet someone online", or "online personals" to generate lists of potential online sites for you.
Consider specialized or niche sites.
Think about any special interests or unique situations that might require a more specialized online dating website. If you are interesting in something specific like Single Parents, Christian Dating, Jewish Dating, Senior Dating, Gay Dating, or Adult Dating, make sure you include those terms in your search (see #4 above).
Determine the pros and cons of your top picks.
Narrow down the list of potential online sites to your top three and compare them to determine pros and cons of each one. Compare them buy cost and features that are interesting to you such as live chat, online video, and number of members on the site.
Sign up to multiple dating sites.
Don’t be afraid to sign-up for multiple websites or change services if you are not satisfied. The goal is to meet new people online and enjoy the process. If a particular site is not meeting your needs, move on before you invest more of your money on a service that isn’t right for you.
For safety and convenience, look for online dating services that offer onsite messaging and email services.
This will allow you to communicate with people using a special email provided by the dating service instead of using your personal email or IM (instant message).
You should stay anonymous, at least at first. You wouldn’t walk into a bar with a name and address tag around your neck, would you? It is important, however, to use a valid email address when signing up for your account.

Most dating sites give you the option to receive email notification of replies to your personal ad, and some even forward the reply right to your email box. You won’t want to miss these emails!

I suggest that you use a free email account, such as Yahoo Mail or Hotmail , to reduce the possibility of spam. Just remember to check your new mailbox!
Make sure the dating service offers secure payment methods.
Also, look at the type of payments accepted (credit card, check, money order, PayPal, etc.) to ensure the options work for you.
Look for websites that offer free trials.
Look for an online dating service that will allow you to browse profiles and photos before you join, or a service that offers a free trial period so you can talk to people that you are interested in meeting before you have to pay. This allows you to fully understand the number and types of potential matches already signed up with the service.

Dating a Younger Woman in 5 Easy Steps

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 12:05:00 +0000

The Question

I am looking for a younger woman but most women want to date someone around their own age. What can I do? – Anonymous

Today’s question is from one of our readers who wishes to stay anonymous; we’ll call him Bill.

Read the question again. Notice how Bill is already convinced that the younger woman he seeks will not be interested in someone his age. This is a self fulfilling belief which is virtually guaranteed to come true. If you believe deep down that you’re going to fail, then you will.

The Honest Answer

In short, yes, you can absolutely find a younger woman that’s right for you. You just need to set your target, take action, and stay the course.

How can you get started in the right direction?

First, take a look deep down inside and figure out exactly why you want to meet a younger woman. And then think about what this perfect woman would be like. Describe her in as much detail as you possible can. Then, write it down on a piece of paper. List her age, physical appearance, personality traits, hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc. Once your have described the perfect woman for you in great detail, fold up that piece of paper and carry it with you for 1 week.

Imagine that you are already with her. What will you do? What will you talk about? Where will you go? REALLY feel it and get into the emotion of it — How will you feel when you are with her? All of this may sound silly, but do you know that by simply writing down what you want, you increase your chances of getting it by 80%!

Just think about that one for a minute…

“The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.”

- Lee Iacocca

Social stigmas and why do you care?

You don’t. Our society is full of social stigmas. We’re so busy being concerned about “what others will think” that we we’re afraid to pursue our own dreams. Yes, many people love to pass judgment on others, but that’s their choice and their right. Why they do it is a larger topic for another day, but it’s really not important here. No one else can possibly know what’s right for you, so why listen to them?

A wise person once said,

“What someone else thinks about you is none of your business”.

Is it true that most women want someone around their own age?

This is completely untrue! Fact is, each of us has different and unique wants and needs. Your goal and single focus should be finding the perfect woman for you. Period.

5 easy tips for attracting and dating younger women.

Younger women are often attracted to traits like maturity (like their daddy), more money and higher social status, masculinity, leadership abilities, confidence, and composure, so it’s important for you to focus on whichever of these traits you possess.

1) Be yourself.
When older guys meet a younger woman they often get nervous and start to act really weird. Don’t do this — just be yourself.

2) Keep it light and fun.
Be playful. Have fun. Tease her. She hasn’t forgotten what it’s like to play and goof around. It’ll do you some good to remember not to take life so seriously. Be a little crazy and opt for things that younger guys generally can’t afford to do. Go ahead. Enjoy yourself.

3) Be the leader. Be the man.
Younger women are most likely looking for someone to take the lead. They have less experience in life and are most likely looking for someone to show them what’s out there. Make your date and other plans ahead of time, but be sensitive and ask her opinion of the plans that you have already made. (She may be allergic to sushi). Be a man, yet respect her opinion. Opening doors, walking on the outside of the curb, and pulling out chairs is another way to make a big impression on younger women.

4) Don’t act like a “perv”.
Most attractive young women have been hit on by some lame, perverted older guy. Don’t try to move in too soon or she’ll think you’re just a “perv” looking to get into her pants. When your alone together, it’s OK to flirt, but let her pursue you for anything further. Otherwise you may scare her away.

5) Give her some space.
Younger women have probably just gotten out of their parent’s house with very structured lives and zero freedom. If she’s attracted to you, it’s not because you’re re-creating the suffocating environment that she just left… it’s because you represent something different. Give her some space. Be the man that she’s always dreamed about, and then don’t chase her. Let her come to you.

The Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 16:34:00 +0000

Here are the top ten most common mistakes you should avoid when contacting women online.

The following will be the most important online dating tips and advice you’ll read all year…

Don’t forget to watch the short 1-2 minute videos - just click the “Watch the Video” link under each heading.

Mistake #1: Sending her ‘just’ a wink

Watch the Video

Most internet dating sites let you send “winks” or “show interest” for free.

But what does this say to her about you?

When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy that’s not serious about wanting to contact her and too cheap to fork over the $20 membership fee.

What a wonderful way to start off a relationship… Not!

She also knows that a wink is an easy “cop-out”. Anyone can scroll through hundreds of online profiles and wink at everything that moves.

So, from her perspective, why should she spend time on you when there are dozens of guys taking the time to send her real messages every day?

Mistake #2: Not having a recent QUALITY photo in your profile

This one should be easy, but the fact is, most men do not upload their photo. The statistics on this one are very clear. Profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without; and profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more than profiles with poor photos.

Let me ask you… When you log on to a dating site and search, don’t you search for women with photos in their profile first?

Why would she be any different?

Many women will assume that you have something to hide if you won’t post your photo – like maybe your wife…

If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile.

If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a good quality photo.

Oh, one more extremely important note – make sure that you upload a RECENT photo. Nothing is more disappointing than to meet someone and realize that the picture they sent you was 20 years and 40 pounds ago!…

Mistake #3: Sending a message with a boring subject

Watch the Video

Fact #1: Guys outnumber girls by at least two to one on most online dating sites and that’s a conservative number.

Fact #2: Good looking girls get dozens of winks and messages in any given day.

You can have the most awesome profile and you can send her the most intriguing message, but she may never see it.

How come?

Simple… Once again, women with good online profiles get lots of winks and messages every day.

Give her a reason to open your message first! It has to stand out among all the others, or it has a high chance of getting deleted and never read.

Spend just as much time crafting an intriguing subject line as you do in writing the rest of your message.

Ask her a question or specifically reference some detail in her profile so that she will know you actually read it and are truly interested in more than just her looks.

Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic or otherwise lame message

Watch the Video

So you took the effort to become a paying member of a dating site, and want to make the most of your membership. But then you came up with a standard boilerplate message, and you quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls.

Go you! At least that’s what you think…

Ok, reality check.

Women like to feel special and important. They can smell a lame form message a mile away, and the delete button is always close at hand.

So, why not take a different approach?

Actually read her entire profile (we know it’s painful, but do it anyway!), learn everything you can about her, and then send her an insightful, personal message.

Remember, you’re messaging her and she needs to feel that she is the only girl in the entire world that you are interested in.

Keep your messages fairly short and concise. Compliment or make reference to some thing or things you found interesting in her profile.

Then, conclude each message with a “clear call to action”. Always be friendly and polite, but tell her what you would like her to do next.

Don’t leave her wondering. An example is “talk to you soon” or “drop me a line”.

Mistake #5: Taking too long to respond to her message

Watch the Video

With all the buzz around the seduction and “pick up artist” community these days, many guys are afraid of scaring women away by appearing too eager or desperate.

So they get her message and then wait… and wait… and wonder when it’s “ok” to answer her.

Let’s clear this up.

Responding promptly is not a bad thing. It will likely help you stand out from the other dozen guys that messaged her today. Like most opportunities in life, you’re far better off striking while the iron’s hot.

Get over it and message her back. In fact, do it while she’s still logged on. Forget the “head games” and be yourself. Women are attracted to confident men who are comfortable in their own skin. Be yourself and you’ll be fine! …

Mistake #6: Asking for her personal information too soon

So you messaged this really great looking girl, and she responded with a basic “Hi” message. Now what?

You want her real email address, her phone number, her work number, or better yet her address so you can go there now, right?

Stop!

Asking her for ANY personal information in your first messages is a quick way to kill the relationship before it starts.

Think of two dogs approaching each other… what do they do? They approach slowly and cautiously, and proceed to sniff each other.

Why do they do this? They’re getting to know each other.

People are the same in many respects.

Don’t scare her off. Take it slow and let her get to know you before requesting personal information.

Mistake #7: Making sexual innuendos in your first message

Yes, she’s really hot and yes her profile seems flirty and sexual…

So you think it’s OK to be overtly sexual when you try to contact her, WRONG!

Unless you’re on AdultFriendFinder.com or other adult site, sexual innuendos are unlikely to help you.

They’ll most likely torpedo any chances you might have had with her.

So don’t do it.

Mistake #8: Sending her money or a credit card number

Yes, the ever popular Nigerian (or whatever country is in on it this month) money scam.

Social networking sites, including online dating sites, are plagued by scammers.

And guys you know are falling for it every day…

Remember, the whole “if it sounds too good to be true” idea still stands!

If your online profile is really bad, and all of a sudden a girl strangely resembling a supermodel emails you and promises to make all your dreams come true, take it slow.

And DO NOT send money or other financial information to make her come to you…

Mistake #9: Checking out her “really hot” nude photos on her personal website

The ever popular “cam girl” phenomenon is surprising scores of new men on a daily basis.

So, what’s a “cam girl?”

Well, let’s say you’re searching profiles on and run across this great looking girl. She looks friendly, approachable, and is wearing a highly suggestive outfit.

To make it better, her profile has a link to her “private website” where you can “see more of her”.

What luck! So you click on that link, and to your surprise, you have to “verify your age by providing a credit card number”. Hmmm.

If you want to browse an adult site, then proceed and enjoy. But recognize this for what it is – often a teenage high school male pretending to be a really hot girl in order to make money by sending happy surfers (read: you) to a pay-per-view adult site.

Mistake #10: Not knowing what you really want

The last blunder is actually by far the most important one…

Put simply, most guys use the shotgun approach to dating and hope to hit something, anything.

Then they wonder why they’re not happy with the women they meet.

Not exactly the best approach for the most important aspect of your life, is it?

Before you join ANY online dating site, take a step back and figure out exactly what you’re looking for… what type of woman do you really want to meet today?

That way you don’t waste you time messaging a really great looking ‘single mom’ when you know full well that you don’t want children.

If you are an outdoorsman, you probably don’t want to spend time messaging a woman that tells you in her profile that she is allergic to the sun. (Yet another reason to actually read her profile.)

It will be well worth your time to understand what you’re really looking for!

Revealing New Online Dating Book…

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 16:30:00 +0000

If you have ever thought about trying online dating or if you are using online dating but having less than amazing results, this book is for you.

Don’t spend hours of wastedtime searching all over the internet trying to find out about online dating.

We have compiled everything, and I do mean everything that you need to know to meet your perfect partner online!

"Online Dating – Finding Love Online"

5 Proven Strategies for Success
and
The Top 5 Things You Should Never
Put In Your Profile

by Jennifer Hunt and Dan Baritchi

Go here to get it today!
http://www.online-dating-tips-and-guide.com

Ask Dan and Jennifer » singles

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