Ask Dan and Jennifer » S&M

Rough Sex and BDSM – Going Beyond The Occasional Spanking (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 18:37:06 +0000

Rough sex is an extremely popular but largely underground sexual fantasy. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen much, it just means people are usually afraid to talk about it.

And like with most things that are driven underground (prostitution being a great example), it’s hard to find good, safe tips and information… so you’re left to experimentation.

Rough sex is largely about mind games, dominance, and control – not just the physical

While many people think of rough sex as having mainly to do with physical aggression, when you truly get into it you’ll realize the most important aspect is generally the mental one. The mind games, the dominant and submissive relationship that quickly develops into total trust and absolute control.

Is make up sex just an excuse to have rough sex?

As amazing as it sounds, some couples actually have arguments and fights just so they have a socially acceptable excuse for what’s commonly known as make up sex (read: rough, wild, and passionate sex).

Here’s a question from a couple in Wyoming hoping to spice up their sex lives by experimenting with rough sex.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My partner and I have started to get into rough sex, but as far as we have gone with it, it’s just him pulling my hair and spanking me. I have tried to find other stuff online that we could add in, but really can’t find much. Any suggestions?

– Ellie, Wyoming

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Explore your sexual fantasies together

One of the wonderful things about being a couple is that you have a friend, a partner in crime, someone to share your experiences and the joys of life with.

Talk with your partner and share your fantasies…

It’s very important to…

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 19:53:33 +0000

Here’s a common scenario…

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together, we rarely have sex. We are becoming more like best friends and I’m scared the passion is fading.

I don’t want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it. What can I do?

Watch this short video to find out how you can spice up your sex life and bring back that spark you had in the beginning…

Don’t forget to go to YouTube and rate the video and subscribe to our channel.

Then, be sure to tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 03:11:44 +0000

The Question:

My partner and I have been together for 2 years now and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together I feel that our relationship has changed. We hardly ever have sex, probably once a month is about all we manage to achieve.

I love sex and I’m sure that my partner does too, but for some reason we just can’t seem to make an effort to do the wild thing – one of us or both are always tired and sometimes it feels like we’re losing sexual compatibility; now it seems like I’ve had more passion in the past with other men or in the beginning of our relationship.

We do love each other and we’ve been through a lot together but I feel that our relationship is changing and I don’t know what to do about it.

We are becoming more like best friends everyday and I’m scared that the passion is fading. His idea of seduction and mine are totally different – he thinks ‘Let’s have sex?’ is an acceptable phrase into seducing a woman into hot sex, where as I would rather be pinned up against a wall without a word being said and so on…

When we weren’t living together our relationship was great; we did struggle a bit in the sex department but 3 times a week compared to once a month was a vast improvement.

Any advice you have considering this situation would be greatly appreciated. I don’t think I want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it – I don’t know what to do.

The Answer:

You might be surprised to learn that almost all long term relationships go through this ‘phase’ where everyone seems to get a little lazy. From my experience, it seems to happen somewhere between 18 months and 3 years into the relationship.

Here are some ideas that will help you make the best decision for you…

Drastically Improve Your Life With a Little S&M…

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 11:46:00 +0000

This past weekend, we attended a personal development seminar that we’d been looking forward to for months.

But you can be sure we were surprised when we walked in a little late on the second day, and everyone was getting in on some S&M action…

If we thought it was that kind of seminar, we would’ve been on time that morning.

OK, the seminar was the Millionaire Mind Intensive from Peak Potentials, founded by T. Harv Ecker. Ecker is a very well known guru in the area of personal development / betterment.

If you haven’t read his latest book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind yet, you’re seriously missing out. It’s about finding all those limiting beliefs like "I don’t deserve it", "That’s for other people", "I’m not that lucky", that many of us acquired while growing up and showing you how to destroy them. It’s really that simple.

We can’t give the whole thing away – you’ll want to go to one of these seminars yourself – but here’s what you need to know.

T. Harv Ecker is very big on completely eradicating old damaging beliefs that we hold which don’t serve us. These beliefs actually sabotage our chances for success, in all areas of life – love, relationships, money, success. etc.

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind is a great easy read, and very actionable… Oh, and it also comes with two Free tickets to this really cool seminar, which is how we got in. I highly recommend you check it out.

Back to our story – the S&M session…

Our instructor had just passed out some heavy duty rubber bands and asked everyone to put one on their wrist… and that’s where the fun begins. Yes, it IS exactly what you’re thinking.

The 30 Day Personal Development S&M Challenge

He challenged everyone in the room to wear that rubber band for 30 days, and every time you catch yourself having a limiting thought, you have to stretch that rubber band and let go. ‘POP!’, ‘Ouch!’.

Yes, it hurts, but that’s the idea. Then you correct your statement with something encouraging and positive. And you repeat two more times.

Now, this may remind some of you of some form of bizarre shock therapy or a Pavlovian experiment unleashed on us all, but it’s a really good idea. Yeah, the brain psychology is basically the same.

So for every negative though, you experience three snaps of that heavy duty rubber band. Your brain’s going to catch on pretty quickly, and it’s going to associate the pain with negative, damaging thoughts, and the relief and good feelings with powerful, empowering thoughts.

And like with any bad habit, after 30 days you’ll change the way you think and be much happier and more successful for it.

Read Secrets of the Millionaire Mind and get your own personal success story in gear. Also, dial into the free Millionaire Mind Tele-Class. That price again is "free", so you’ve got nothing to lose except some bad habits.

Now if you’re looking for the "other kind" of S&M, watch for our special BDSM series coming soon. As you probably know by now from reading our blog, we don’t pull punches or hide out from the forbidden topics. That’s not what helping people is about.

As always, our commitment to you is to answer your questions without bias or judgment, and to help you with the best advice we possibly can. If we don’t know the answers, we’ll find someone who does!

That’s our promise to you.

Have a great day!
Dan & Jennifer