Ask Dan and Jennifer » spice up your sex life

Sex Tips – The REAL Secret to Sexual Confidence (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 20 May 2007 01:20:36 +0000

Sex can be a wonderful and exciting part of any relationship, bringing great joy to both (or more) partners. But so often a couple just isn’t sexually in sync. For whatever reason, they just don’t click sexually.

A common reason for these sex problems is the lack of open and honest communication.

This is a deeply engrained societal issue… people just aren’t comfortable talking openly about sex, not even with their sex partners. And guess what – your partner isn’t going to read your mind. If you don’t let them know what you want, they won’t know.

When lovers do talk, it’s often about the physical – the logistics of love making, not about their deep fantasies and desires. So often we get questions from people who can’t seem to get a particular sex position just right.

It’s not about getting the other person to orgasm in any particular position or another, but rather about feeling desired, felling wanted, feeling your partner’s lust and craving for you – feeling the intense heat of passion. And it’s about making your partner experience that as well.

That’s something to strive for. It’s that shared desire that brings great sexual confidence.

Today’s question is from a lady dealing with the difficult issue of sexual confidence.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I find myself burdened with an unfortunate insecurity. I don’t feel confident in bed. I have had a number of good and bad relationships that have left me knowing a lot about my soul, but little about success in bed. My first sex partner used to become extremely angry and offended if I didn’t want to have sex. He would lay guilt trips down, refuse to speak to me, or yell. It wasn’t until after leaving the relationship that I realized how badly it made me feel about myself, and how unnecessary/abusive it was. I dated another boy after him who was just the opposite, we dated for 3 years and he rarely initiated sex, not wanting to make me feel pressured. We spoke freely of our feelings, and by the end he felt more comfortable being aggressive. The second relationship helped me feel comfortable with myself and men, however neither relationship really left me feeling like a sex goddess.

Now, I have finally found someone who is helping me explore my sexual side. I recently started dating a French man I met, and he really knows how to turn me on! The problem is… with every boyfriend, I have never been able to get a guy to cum from a blow job, and I’ve never really been the one on top during sex. Frenchie keeps trying to get me on top, but every time I do, it’s like I’ve broken his penis! I’m 140 lbs, not obese; and he’s no waif… His penis is medium size, so it’s not as if it’s some stub that would break if a sparrow sat on it! I’ve tried sitting straight up and moving up and down, or leaning forward and moving forward and back, but while he is encouraging, it’s never successful. I’m also afraid that sitting straight up leads me to bouncing rather than riding… and that seems to hurt! As for the blow-jobs, I can’t seem to get a rhythm; or when I do (and this is highly embarrassing) he jokingly asked if I would like to breath!

He is perfectly confident and supportive, and I’d really like to get over my insecurities. I’m sorry for such a long explanation and please, if you have any advice, it would do a lot of help.

Desperately,
Finally French (Pennsylvania)

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Check out this resource we recommend to really spice up your sex life:

500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 19:53:33 +0000

Here’s a common scenario…

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together, we rarely have sex. We are becoming more like best friends and I’m scared the passion is fading.

I don’t want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it. What can I do?

Watch this short video to find out how you can spice up your sex life and bring back that spark you had in the beginning…

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Then, be sure to tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 03:11:44 +0000

The Question:

My partner and I have been together for 2 years now and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together I feel that our relationship has changed. We hardly ever have sex, probably once a month is about all we manage to achieve.

I love sex and I’m sure that my partner does too, but for some reason we just can’t seem to make an effort to do the wild thing – one of us or both are always tired and sometimes it feels like we’re losing sexual compatibility; now it seems like I’ve had more passion in the past with other men or in the beginning of our relationship.

We do love each other and we’ve been through a lot together but I feel that our relationship is changing and I don’t know what to do about it.

We are becoming more like best friends everyday and I’m scared that the passion is fading. His idea of seduction and mine are totally different – he thinks ‘Let’s have sex?’ is an acceptable phrase into seducing a woman into hot sex, where as I would rather be pinned up against a wall without a word being said and so on…

When we weren’t living together our relationship was great; we did struggle a bit in the sex department but 3 times a week compared to once a month was a vast improvement.

Any advice you have considering this situation would be greatly appreciated. I don’t think I want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it – I don’t know what to do.

The Answer:

You might be surprised to learn that almost all long term relationships go through this ‘phase’ where everyone seems to get a little lazy. From my experience, it seems to happen somewhere between 18 months and 3 years into the relationship.

Here are some ideas that will help you make the best decision for you…