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Sperm, Semen and Safe Sex – What You Need To Know (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 01:00:50 +0000

Sex education, unfortunately, is at a low nowadays. Although our society has evolved exponentially since sex was considered completely taboo – sex education is still primitive. Television shows, movies, music and even the Internet has taken sex to a completely new level, with songs about “booty calls” and nudity on prime time, but adults in this nation can’t bear to discuss more than the scant basics of sex with their youth. It’s about time somebody steps up and gives solid, useful information about every aspect of sex in an educational way so that our youth can make informed decisions about sex, oral sex and foreplay.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend gives me blow jobs, hand jobs, etc. Every time we play, this white sticky stuff come out, and then after a few minutes cum comes out – what is all this stuff coming out of me?

–Jason, TX

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Sperm, Semen and Precum

Lots of girls want to know – what’s the skinny on sperm, semen and precum? What are they?

Precum – The clear, thinnish and somewhat sticky liquid that comes out of the head of the penis in small amounts during penile stimulation before he actually ejaculates. Precum can and does contain live sperm, although in significantly smaller amounts than actual semen.

Semen – The whitish, thicker fluid that comes out of the head of the penis during ejaculation that contains millions of sperm.

Sperm – Organisms carried within semen and precum that join with a woman’s egg to conceive a child.

Which Of These Can Get A Girl Pregnant?

In short – all of them! Precum and semen both contain sperm. Having unprotected sex without a condom, even before the man ejaculates, can get a woman pregnant. It is better to treat a penis like a loaded gun. Many women believe that allowing a man to have intercourse with her without a condom is safe, as long as the guy pulls his penis out of her vagina before he ejaculates, and ejaculates away from her vagina. While this is safer than allowing your partner to actually ejaculate inside you, it is not a way to protect against pregnancy. Sperm can travel out of the penis pretty much at any time – allowing a condomless penis to get within the vicinity of your vagina puts you at a definite risk of getting pregnant.

Don’t chance it! Even allowing your partner to rub his penis on the outside of your vagina without a condom can transmit sperm from the penis to the vagina and there’s a reason that sperm are called “little swimmers.” They travel! For the safest type of sex, use a condom to prevent pregnancy. You can also discuss with your doctor other methods of birth control that can be used in conjunction with a condom for added protection, or in lieu of a condom if your with an STD free partner and in a completely faithful, monogamous relationship.

Which Of These Can Transmit A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

In short – all of them! Again, treat a condomless penis like a loaded gun, even more so if you’re unsure if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease. To clarify, unless you have a piece of paper in your hand that says your partner has tested negative for STD’s and you’re 110% positive your partner has not had any type of sexual contact with anyone else since the test was taken, you’re unsure of whether your partner has an STD. Protect yourself. Both precum and semen can carry the HIV and AIDS virus, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases. It is important to be even more vigilant if you’re concerned about STD’s, however, because you don’t just have to worry about any fluids from your partner’s penis coming into contact with your vagina, you also have to worry about these fluids possibly coming into contact with your mouth or any open sores or cuts on your body.

For example, if you knicked yourself shaving and your partner rubs his penis up your leg without a condom, you can possibly contract an STD that way. It’s rare – yes. But possible. Be safe and get STD tested, suggest that your partner get STD tested, stay in a monogamous, faithful relationship whenever possible, and use condoms during anal sex, oral sex and vaginal intercourse any time you’re unsure. Always treat your partner’s penis as though it can get you pregnant or give you an STD because in truth – it can! That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. Just be safe and smart about it!

Painful Sex – Should It Still Hurt? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 23:00:43 +0000

Some women experience painful sex, especially if they’re having sex for the first time. Is painful sex normal? Sometimes sex can hurt, especially if your partner is too rough, but what if sex is painful all the time? What if it never gets better? Here’s what you need to do if sex still hurts for you.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I lost my virginity over a year ago, but every time we have sex it feels like losing my virginity all over again. Should it still be hurting? Is this normal?

–Danielle, PA

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Why Does It Hurt?

Sex can hurt for a variety of reasons. Some of them are medical, others are not. Let’s take a quick look at the medical issues that can cause sex to become painful and stay that way with no relief. There are many sexually transmitted diseases and vaginal infections that can cause sex to be painful. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are among the many STD’s that can cause vaginal discharge, odor and painful sex for a woman.

Untreated STD’s will continue causing these symptoms and they may become worse or even unbearable. Common vaginal infections, such as yeast or bacterial infections, can cause discomfort during sex with or without other symptoms. If sex has become painful for you, it is important to see your medical doctor for an exam to rule out any medical issues or infections that could be causing your discomfort. Find a doctor you are comfortable with, and don’t worry – doctors see it all! You should feel comfortable enough with your doctor to discuss your sexual habits and the reasons you might be feeling sexual discomfort – if you’re not, it’s time to find a new doctor.

Common Issues

Common issues for uncomfortable or painful sex go beyond medical issues. There are a few reasons beyond your control – and some that are within your control – that could be responsible for sex becoming and staying painful. First, your partner may be too large for you. Whether your partner is exceptionally large or not, he may be too large for your anatomy. Everyone is made differently and although vaginas are extremely accomodating, your partner’s hardware may just not match yours in a way that is comfortable for you. You also may be prone to vaginal dryness. This isn’t necessarily a medical issue, however, it can cause plenty of discomfort during sex.

What To Do

Other than seeing a medical doctor to rule out any physical issues for painful sex, you can make sure you have lots of foreplay before sex and are very, very relaxed and aroused. This will help you to make soothing vaginal secretions that will aid any vaginal dryness, as well as help your vagina to better accommodate a larger penis, if that is the case. You can also use a good, water based lubricant during sex, and try different positions that allow for less penetration if you feel that your partner may be too large for you.

No matter what, sex shouldn’t be painful, or especially continue to be painful. It should be pleasurable! Talk to your doctor to see what you can do to make sex more enjoyable for both you and your partner. Your doctor may recommend a sex therapist, after ruling out any medical conditions responsible, to better help you and your partner to find ways to make sex more enjoyable and comfortable for you.

Should I Really Be Worried About STDs? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:02:15 +0000

When it comes to sexual activity, it can sometimes be confusing as to what can transmit sexually transmitted diseases and what can’t. What types of STD’s can be contracted during which kinds of sexual activity and when are you completely safe?

If you have oral sex can you common STDs like Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, or Herpes?

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Sexual Activity and STD’s.

There’s a reason they’re called "sexually transmitted diseases." You can contract them through virtually any type of sexual activity, including oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal intercourse.

Some sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS, HIV and Hepatitis C can be transmitted via blood to blood contact such as receiving a tattoo or piercing with a needle that isn’t sterile. When you have sexual contact or blood to blood contact with someone, you put yourself at risk for contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease. How can you protect yourself?

HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis C

HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis C can be spread via blood to blood contact or through vaginal and penile secretions. This includes semen and pre-ejaculation secretions.

The best way to protect yourself against these types of STD’s is to use condoms and dental dams while having oral sex, anal sex and vaginal intercourse, make sure any tattoo or piercing artist uses a sterilized needle and don’t use intravenous drugs.

Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis and Other Infections

These types of sexually transmitted diseases are known as viral infections. They are spread by any sexual contact at all, but not through blood to blood contact.

While these are particularly unsavory STD’s, they are most often treated with an antibiotic regimen and can be cured. If left alone long enough, a Chlamydia, Gonorrhea or Syphilis infection can cause a great deal of other bodily damage, including muscle and brain damage, and more commonly sterility.

To protect against these types of sexually transmitted diseases, you should use a condom or a dental dam during any type of sexual activity. Oral sex should also be protected against because viral and bacterial STD’s can set up host in the mouth and throat.

Other Types Of STD’s

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Can I Get STDs From Masturbation? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 13:57:45 +0000

Masturbation is a great pleasure for both men and women. It can relieve stress and satisfy sexual desires without having intercourse with someone else.

You might be curious, however, if masturbation falls in the same category as sex, oral sex and erotic massage when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases.

While you can’t transmit or contract STD’s from masturbation or toys, unless you share your toys with someone else, does that mean you’re safe from everything?

If I masturbate without toys (just with my hands) can I get and STDs or other sicknesses?

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The Skinny On STD’s

Sexually transmitted diseases are spread when an infected person shares bodily secretions or blood with another person. This usually happens during sex, but it can be transmitted in other ways as well, as long as secretions are shared. While you can contract a sexually transmitted disease from another person if they’re infected, it’s very difficult to contract a sexually transmitted disease if you’re simply masturbating.

This would only happen if your hands happened to come into contact with an infected person’s bodily secretions and these secretions made their way into your genitals by being passed on from your hands. This can actually be prevented with simple hand washing. In light of this, however, masturbation is the second safest sex next to no sex at all. If you’ve never had any sexual partners, you can’t transmit STD’s to yourself through masturbation, as well as if you’ve recently been tested for STD’s and haven’t had a sexual partner since.

Simply put, if your hands come into contact with any bodily fluids of another person, such as blood, semen or vaginal secretions, and then you masturbate, there is a very small possibility that you can contract STD’s through masturbation. How can you make absolutely sure you’re safe?

Simply Safe

Being a safe masturbator is actually fairly simple. Always keep your hands clean and make sure they’re washed before masturbation. Even if you don’t have any sexual partners, bacteria on hands that haven’t been washed can cause an infection.

Easy As Soap and Water

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Can I Get AIDS From Oral Sex? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 13:52:25 +0000

Oral sex is a great way to share yourself with your partner, if you’re ready, without having sexual intercourse. It may be tempting to think that since oral sex isn’t actually sex that it reduces or eliminates the risk of contracting AIDS, HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases.

Sadly, this isn’t true. Oral sex presents just as much of a risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease as anal sex, vaginal sex or any other type of sex. How can you protect yourself?

If you have oral sex can you get AIDS or any type other type of sickness or disease?

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Blood and Bodily Fluids

Most sexually transmitted diseases are transferred through blood or bodily fluids. This makes it extremely easy for someone to give or contract sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex. For example, HIV and AIDS are present in semen, vaginal secretions and blood. If a person giving oral sex has recently brushed their teeth, small scrapes may remain in the mouth and on the gums even though the person can’t feel them.

Performing oral sex and taking bodily fluids, whether it’s vaginal or penile fluids, into their mouth can easily cause the transmission of the disease. Curable infections, such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis still cause a lot of damage and can easily be transmitted through oral sex.

A particularly unfavorable infection is when these types of diseases actually take host in the mouth and throat. A virus such as this doesn’t discriminate from one warm, wet place to another and will be just as happy in a throat as they are in a penis or a vagina.

The only way to completely prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases is to stay completely abstinent, but this is often completely unrealistic as most couples want to experience each other sexually as part of their relationship.

It’s important to take steps to protect yourself if you’re thinking of having oral sex with a new partner or a partner that hasn’t been tested for STD’s or who may have not been monogamous.

Staying Safe

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Parents. You ARE The Sex Ed Teacher.

Christ Pro Erotic — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:17:15 +0000

When was the last time you saw something on your Blackberry of a friend of yours was “sexting” in a photo they’ve sent you? Don’t know what I’m talking about?

Good. I didn’t until hearing the terms passed around lately in the news and around young people.

According to the Urban Dictionary.com (a must for parents/adults alike), sexting is defined as “v: the act of text messaging someone in the hopes of having a sexual encounter with them later; initially casual, transitioning into highly suggestive and even sexually explicit.”

Your teen knows what it means

And yes, if you think your pre-teen or teenager is not up to this term, think again.

I think for all the sexual freedom talk, it’s hard to judge what is the right course of action to take when your pre-teen or teenager is acting out something which should be left in the bedroom. It’s even harder today when our kids are more astute with the latest technology than any of us were 10 or 20 years ago.

From cell phones to text messaging to YouTube and Facebook , kids and teens show an ability to master the latest gizmo available on the market. They take it, use it, and create it to be their own identity; they make their homepages and profiles incredibly savvy even for the novice user.

The danger for young people

The danger is many young people are knowledgeable about sexual terms and how to do them, but not have the knowledge to be responsible to themselves and others.

Meanwhile, parents are left in the dust.

Many adults with kids get their children these devices, or give them unlimited time on the computer unaware of how far down the rabbit hole they can go. Your kids can be in their room or at school for hours, with parents not knowing what is on their cell phone, their personal page, or God knows what else. So how do sexually hip parental units find a balance between allowing your kids freedom to grow?

Simple. Be parental. Mom, Dad…Engage!

Getting to know what your children are doing means you may need to get as technically savvy as your kids. It may be as simple as having a sit down chat with your kids. It may mean you will have to confiscate their cell phones or computer to check out what they have on them.

Be a parent; not a friend

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Thinking of Having a Threesome? Why Not Make It A Foursome… (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 14:15:41 +0000

You and your partner have decided to have a threesome. You may even have someone in mind that you and your partner have both agreed on.

If you’re about to take the plunge into the world of multiple partner sex, you may have a few questions on how to do it safely.

Congratulations! Not everyone has safety on their mind before having a threesome. Here are some great ways to have safety in numbers.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi.

Just wanted to say I think it is great what you two do. My question is my girlfriend and I want to have a threesome with another female and we have one lined up. I know to use a condom but what about oral and other kinds of play? We don’t want to come home with some kind of STD.

Do you have any advice for protection?

– John, CA

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Getting Tested

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Frustrated Man Can’t Orgasm Wearing A Condom! (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 13:21:22 +0000

If you dislike wearing a condom during sex, you’re certainly not the first! Many people dislike the feeling a condom has or, more to the point, the lack of feeling.

If your partner insists on having you wear a condom during sex every time, you may be frustrated, especially if she’s already using another type of birth control such as the pill.

Why do you have to wear a condom every time? Can you convince her otherwise?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi I’ve seen your videos on YouTube. I’ve enjoyed learning new things and love that you’re so willing to share your knowledge. I’ve been seeing this girl for a little while now, things are great, we’re very comfortable and physically compatible in bed, but I haven’t finished inside of her yet. She wants me to, but so far she insists on using a condom and I can’t climax with it on and it’s getting frustrating. The part that really bothers me is that our relationship is suffering because of it. I want to understand why she wants to use a condom when she’s already on the pill. I’m not looking for unprotected sex. What can I do to save our sex life?

- Stan, Ohio

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A Layered Defense

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My Boyfriend Wants To Have Sex Before Marriage But I’m Not Sure. Is It Really Okay? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 18 May 2008 14:53:51 +0000

Sex before marriage. It’s a tough topic that many people feel very passionate about, but not everyone is passionate about it for the same reasons.

Many people believe that sex before marriage is wrong or immoral and others believe that it’s not an issue.

While there may never be a universal agreement on whether sex before marriage is acceptable or not, many men and women find themselves in this situation before they’ve even given much thought to the question.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hello, I’m Lizeth from Turkey. I want to ask a question about virginity.

Here doing sex before marriage isn’t common. I have a foreign boyfriend, and he want to have sex with me and I it want too.

I know in America you don’t care so much about it. I just want to learn your things. Is it bad?

Sorry about the mistakes in the e-mail, I’m not a native speaker of English.

– Lizeth, Turkey

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Is having sex before marriage wrong?

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