How To Find Your Swinging Comfort Zone (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:00:51 +0000

Swinging seems taboo, but more and more couples are talking about it as a way to spice up their sex lives. Swinging can be fun and can involve flirting, roleplaying, watching or going all the way with other couples. Not everything is right for everybody though, so here’s how to find your swinging comfort zone so you and your partner can have fun and have a fun, exciting sex life!

How can someone interested in swinging establish their own comfort zone and boundaries so they can have a fun and exciting sexual experience?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Challenging Your Comfort Zones

Many couples are afraid to start swinging because – duh – it’s completely out of your sexual comfort zone. Especially if you’ve been with your partner for years, starting to swing is just like dating all over again. You’re nervous meeting people, nervous about having a physical relationship with them…it’s not at all like the comfortable sex you have with your partner! Don’t worry though – swinging is commonly misunderstood. It’s not just a massive orgy all the time where everyone does everything with each other. Swingers are just adults looking to have a good time in a variety of different ways – so it’s time to challenge your comfort zones without jumping right out of them.

What Are Your Comfort Zones?

Even if your comfortable with your partner, you might not be in sync with them when it comes to thinking about swinging. You and your partner may have completely different ideas about what you want to accomplish while swinging and what swinging means to each of you. Find out what your partner is comfortable with and what their comfort zones are, and talk about what yours are too. Think about what would possibly make you uncomfortable. Decide what the boundaries are, what you’re ok with or not ok with. Write them down! Do you want to involve oral sex but not actual intercourse, or do you want to watch only? You don’t want to find out something is not ok after it’s already happened. The best thing you can do is communicate with your partner and talk, talk, talk – and then talk some more! The biggest reason that swinging doesn’t succeed with couples is because they didn’t take the time to discuss their thoughts and feelings about swinging before and after.

Reviewing And Redoing The Rules

The rules of swinging don’t change during swinging, but they can certainly change before and after. Just because you and your partner have agreed on a set of rules for what is ok and not ok during swinging doesn’t mean it has to stay that way forever. You and your partner both have the right to review the rules and redo them at your discretion – just don’t forget to talk about it! Above all, practice safe sex if you’re having sex with other people and be smart about it. Make sure everyone is in agreement about what is going to happen, including the other couple(s) and everyone is comfortable with what is going to happen. Even though the rules don’t change during swinging, if someone is getting hurt or you’re uncomfortable with something, you certainly have the right to stop.

How To Host A Swinging Party Without Annoying The Neighbors

Christ Pro Erotic — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 13:10:37 +0000

Tact: a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense.

(From the Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online)

My grandmother drilled the need to be tactful towards others as a child. My grandmother pointed out how adults can do things in front of other people without considering their own thresholds. I apply this lesson in my own adult life because it is easy to forget not everyone shares the same liberties as I do.

It’s a lesson Jim Trulock, Julie Norris and the city of Duncanville, Texas can learn in their battle over a tiny little swingers club called the Cherry Pit. No, it’s not an actual club in a building somewhere in the city but it is operated in the home of the couple.

The Battle Over The Swinger’s Club

Trulock and Norris opened their home to receive both friends and couples to party at their house. Not a problem with a party going on in the suburbs, but it becomes a problem when it is a weekly occurrence bringing traffic and annoyance to their neighborhood.

The weekly parties at the Cherry Pit prompted the city to do everything from visit the home with warnings to adding no parking signs near the house. When this didn’t work the city then enacted new laws prohibiting the running of a sex club out of a residential area. Citation after citation came from the city; when this happened Trulock sent his lawyers in to argue the constitutionality of the ordinances.

Once the police entered the facility to raid their “club” the battle escalated prompting court appearances, accusations, and a mention by Bill O’Reilly of Fox News.

In the year and a half of back and forth over who is right (whether the residence can be used as a private club or if zoning laws prohibited this activity in a residential area) I think the whole thing could be solved if both sides could meet each other half way instead of the legal monster it is now.

Isn’t it time for a little tact on both sides? How about a review of some swinging rules in this situation?

Swinger Lifestyle Rules

You know the basic rules in the Lifestyle:

No means no.
Treat ladies like ladies—before and after the party.
Practice safe sex

Here’s a fourth one: Never throw a swingers party in a place that either annoys the neighbors or draw attention to you from law enforcement.

Ask Dan and Jennifer » swinging tips