Ask Dan and Jennifer » tantric sex

Take Your Climax To The Max – Top 5 Tips To Wilder Orgasms

Jessica Perez, author Faster Female Orgasm — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 02:11:20 +0000

Just because you’ve heard that not a lot of women reach orgasms during intercourse like you do does not mean you should sit on your laurels. After all, there are orgasms and there are ORGASMS, if you know what I mean.

So, if you want to up the pleasure you get when you climax read on to find out what you need to do to really create fire in bed.

Wild Orgasm Tip #1: No More Fake Ones For You!

Why do women fake orgasms? That’s a complicated one. Here are a few possible reasons.

At the start of your relationship, maybe you faked it because you want him to think you’re this wild, erotic lover.
You’re tired and you really just want to get it over with.
You actually have no idea how to climax so you just fake it.

Why it’s bad: When you fake your orgasms, you are sending him all the wrong ideas when it comes to what turns you on. As a result, he will never really get what makes you tick sexually.

How to change: Make it real. Seriously, don’t moan if there’s nothing to moan about. Don’t say it was great if it wasn’t. Don’t say ‘yeah, yeah’ when in you’re head you’re already planning tomorrow’s chores.

This does not mean to say that you should be brutal with comments (e.g., I don’t know why you’re licking that way!) or that you should be passive (why wait for him to figure YOU out?). Instead, explore your body together. If you don’t want to do this, you can go off on a self-exploration journey first. Yes, masturbate more.

Find out what moves REALLY arouse you. And then the next time you guys make love, guide him to what you want him to do.

Wild Orgasm Tip #2. Bring In A ‘Third Party’ To Bed.

Sometimes women, in their frustration to reach an orgasm more often, turn to battery-operated lovers. This is all well and good and in reality, sex toys ARE great ways to explore your own sexuality. However, in many cases, women tend to turn to their sex toys more and more because well, it’s almost a sure-thing each time you use it.

Why it’s bad: This prevents you from exploring better climaxes with your lover.

How to change: Why not try to introduce your man to your sex gadget? A lot of people say this will hurt his ego but this really depends on how you bring it. For instance, why not give him a peep show first. You KNOW what one of men’s sexual fantasies is to watch their woman masturbate so why not give him a treat?

Engage in self-love right in front of him. This will not only drive him wild but will bring you to your sexual edge too. It’s a win-win situation. You can even hand off the sex toy at one point to him so he can use it on you!

Wild Orgasm Tip #3. Realize This: Perfect Sex Exist Only In Movies.

Nowadays, it’s getting harder and harder to separate fantasy from reality! And the bedroom is one of those areas that are suffering from this. We seem to think that making love should be almost ‘picture perfect’. I mean, heaven forbid you make a fanny fart or emit some gas as he takes you from behind. And woman-on-top is GREAT but then again, you have to be right in front of him where he can see how your face contorts as you near your climax.

Why it’s bad: All of these thoughts are not only unrealistic; they completely get in the way of a darn good orgasm! Instead of letting go and losing yourself in the sexual moment, you tend to become alert as to what MAY occur.

How to change: Practice feeling and not thinking while making love. Really try to empty your mind and focus only on your body. If you must ‘think’, practice mental stimulation instead. For instance, if you love the way he’s licking you then recite this in your head “Lick. Lick. Lick. Wet. Wet. Wet. Coming. Coming. Coming.”

Wild Orgasm Tip #4. Your Next Bedroom Project: Tantric Sex.

Oftentimes, when a particular sex position works (i.e., you actually reached an orgasm in that position), we tend to engage in nothing but that position over and over again. Tried and tested, right?

Why it’s bad: If you keep on doing the exact same thing, it loses its effectives in the long run. Furthermore, this means you’re dangerously coming close to that R word (routine) that kills a lot of sex lives.

How to change: Keep on experimenting. Ok, maybe tantric sex or the kama sutra is too big a project to start with but you must start something. It keeps sex alive and yes, you WILL find one that will push your orgasms to greater heights.

Enjoy yourselves!

Take just a minute to check out ‘Faster Female Orgasm’: “How To Reach Orgasm During Intercourse In Just 5 Minutes (Or Less)”

How to Achieve Healing, Intimacy, and Ultimate Union With Tantra

Maya Silverman — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 13:39:17 +0000

When the average person thinks of tantric sex, their thoughts may jump to intense sack sessions that are solely for the pursuit of intense pleasure. While much of tantra does involve these kinds of sexual practices, after all, that’s what it became famous for in the Western world, tantra involves so much more than pure physical pleasure.

For example, did you know that tantra is often used as a means of emotional, physical and spiritual healing, as well as a method for achieving the ultimate intimacy that can exist between two people?

Sound intrigued? Then read on to discover how tantra can lead you and your partner on the path to ultimate healing and unity!

The Tantric Path to Healing and Unity

It’s no secret that many people may have emotional and mental “baggage”, thanks to previous relationships or life experiences. These problems can often manifest themselves during particularly intimate moments, including sack sessions.

Whether the problems come from inner issues (perhaps with self-confidence or body hate) or outer influences (for instance, you or your partner experienced abuse or grew up in a loveless household), these mental and emotional scars don’t have to become an obstacle in your quest for the ultimate intimacy and union.

Tantra is widely known for its healing powers. In fact, if you and your partner engage in tantric lovemaking practices, you’ll soon find that you both will grow to become more confident, loving and intimate partners.

The Distinction

However, when using tantra in an effort to emotionally and mentally heal yourself or your partner, it’s important to distinguish these nights from normal sack sessions. A healing tantric session shouldn’t have the same feel as a normal night of tantric lovemaking, since the latter focuses more on achieving spiritual bliss through physical pleasure.

Rather, a healing tantric session will focus more on unleashing and clearing away any mental and emotional obstacles that you or your partner may have in regards to sex and intimacy.

In a healing session, you must first distinguish your role as either Healer or Receiver; for example, if your partner is the one experiencing emotional or mental obstacles to tantric bliss, then you should be the Healer, and he or she the Receiver.

Additionally, it’s important to verbally confirm your role with your partner, as this will serve to relax each other in regards to any expectations.

Once Roles Are Established….

His ‘N Hers Tantric Massage

Maya Silverman — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 13:02:51 +0000

Tantric sex refers to ‘Sacred Sex’ and can be a very powerful way to connect to your lover. In tantric sex, the terms “‘Yoni” and “Lingam” to refer to our nether regions.

“Yoni,” or Vagina, means “Sacred Place” and is said to be the source of Divine Female Sexual Power; “Lingham” or “Vajra” refers to the Penis and this term means “Wand of Light” and is said to represent Divine Male Sexual Energy and Consciousness.

The terms used in tantric sex are a far cry from the Western approach to using some not-so-pleasant terms to describe our nether regions. Partners are revered as a ‘Beloved’ and are to be valued, respected, nurtured and cared for.

Setting the Scene For Pleasure

Set the scene for your Tantric Night of Pleasure by taking the time to prepare a deliciously sensual environment. Put some thought into creating a warm, relaxing, and seductive space within which to begin your Tantric Yoni and Lingham massage, or His ‘N Hers Tantric Massage.

Your space should have:

A great location – make sure your space is warm and inviting

Soothing sounds — put on some relaxing and soothing music for a calm environment

Beautiful sights – as the Japanese saying goes, “The First Bite is With the Eyes.” Create a visually stunning atmosphere by decorating your space with colorful flowers or rose petals. You can also get together some cushions and place some meaningful or symbolic objects around the bed to represent a calm, safe and loving space.

Proper dress — dress yourself up and make an effort to look good for your partner. Make sure your personal hygiene is up to par, including brushing your teeth and smelling appealing. Make it sensual by taking a shower or bath together and remember that poor hygeine is one of the biggest turn offs in the bedroom.

Try to set some time aside for your Tantric Pleasure Experience as a way to honor your lover, develop skills, relax and focus the mind and spirit.

Massage your lover’s entire body for at least 30 minutes before starting your Intimate Tantric massage. By slowly charging up and circulating your sexual energy, the Yoni and Lingham will be more sensitive to your touch.

Massaging the Yoni

If you’re massaging your lover’s Yoni, start by resting one hand over the area and the other over her heart. Visualize energy from your heart flowing through your hands into her heart and Yoni.

This is a great way to balance emotions and to create a deeper connection between lovers. Lightly pour some warmed cold pressed, organic vegetable oils (sesame, almond, olive) over your hands and let the oil drip slowly over the Yoni and Clitoris.

Always start from the outside in. Start by teasing and caressing her outer lips, pubic mound, proceeding to the inner lips, and massage the opening of the vagina very gently. After at least 15-20 minutes of playful teasing, gently take the clitoris between your fingers and massage slowly (but not directly) around the sides and base.

Take Your Time

Multiple Orgasms – Did You Know That It IS Possible For Men Too?

Carla Tara — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:15:36 +0000

Tantra is such a vast subject that it’s fascinating and awe-inspiring. It includes so much that it can be very confusing to the beginning student. Tantra is an art, a science, a way of life that is honest and courageous. It includes and faces squarely our sexual energy, this awesome force that some religions fear and want to suppress.

It can be used to help us reach our highest potential of pleasure, and union with the divine. To achieve this, it offers a series of exercises in breathing, tone vibrations, the use of certain muscles, and concentration on certain symbols representing the energy centers of the body.

One of the techniques it teaches allows men to have an orgasm without ejaculating, which makes it possible for him to come again and again.

How is This Possible?

Well, by using tantric principles, such as breathing, visualizing, and squeezing the love muscles to draw sexual energy from the sex organs up the spine to the back of the brain, a man can learn to ride the waves of orgasm and start coasting along the crest of those waves like a skilled surfer.

He can go down in the valley of the wave and enjoy playing more safely in a sweet and intensive romantic/spiritual space, absorbing the benefits resulting from the heightened pleasure he just achieved. He feels as if he’s buzzing with energy, more open and tender toward his partner and himself.

They can look into each other’s eyes, exchange gentle caresses, or simply breathe together to expand the state of bliss. All this can be done without the man losing the precious life-force contained in his semen.

Then the couple can proceed to make love actively, and reach several peaks in one love session. After having reached several peaks and experienced several body orgasms, the man can choose to have an ejaculatory orgasm if desired.

Controlling Ejaculation

How quickly a man can learn to control his ejaculation response depends on how much he practices, and the attitude he practices with. It’s almost a paradox: The more patient and loving you are with yourself, the less in a hurry to achieve quick results, the faster you’ll learn.

That’s because relaxation is the key, and you can’t be relaxed if you’re very goal-oriented. When you’re goal-oriented, you’re tense and usually judgmental. Ideas like, "I don’t know if I’ll ever learn this stuff…..Perhaps it’s not for me….I’m wasting my time…." or similar discouraging thoughts will retard the process of learning.

Be Positive and Loving

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Finally! The Truth About Female Ejaculation…

Carla Tara — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 19:00:14 +0000

Does a woman ejaculate? The answer is a definite, yes. With proper stimulation of the Gspot, women can ejaculate a fluid from ducts located around the urethra. It is located in the front wall of the vagina under the pubic bone.

This is a spongy area two inches or more inside the yoni (vagina) depending on the size of the yoni and the location of the clitoris. It is actually South Pole of the clitoris.

The First Documentation of Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation was documented in ancient China and India where the Goddess-spot massage was a common Tantric-sex technique. Tantric texts call the liquid produced amrita, or "sweet nectar." It is a protein-based fluid, found to be chemically different from urine. It is believed to have great healing properties.

This knowledge is slowly coming to the awareness of non-Tantric people like Dr. Mitchell Levine, a gynecologist/obstetrician at the Women Care clinic, in Arlington, who declares that women do ejaculate. He believes that the hush-hush aura around the subject does not help women or men. He believes that is should become common knowledge.

Medicine Ignores Women’s Sexuality

Sexuality, and especially women’s sexuality, does not receive much attention in medical school. In fact, one female gynecologist approached for this story declined comment, admitting not to know enough about the subject.

Our in so many other ways advanced western culture is badly informed about human sensuality. Medical encyclopedias still do not mention female ejaculation. There is some information, however, on The Complete Guide to Women’s Health.

Don’t Make Something Out of Nothing

The quantity of amrita is not indicative of how much the woman enjoys her release. Therefore, please men don’t make it an issue. Some woman I’ve been working with say they experience intense pleasurable feeling of release and often ejaculate three to nine times or more during one session of sex, each ejaculatory orgasm giving them more pleasure than the previous one.

However, the experience of female ejaculation varies from woman to woman. Some dribble a small amount of fluid; others soak the sheets.

Some women get concerned that they’re urinating, and they need to be reassured that this is not the case. It is amrita they secrete, not urine. In fact amrita does not smell or taste like urine.

The G-Spot Itself

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Did You Know That Tantra Can Help Sexual Dysfunction?

Carla Tara — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 14:55:12 +0000

There is a certain embarrassment or even shame that is connected with sexual dysfunctions. No one would be ashamed to have, for example, a liver or heart dysfunction.

One would be sad but not embarrassed and one would immediately ask a professional for help.

Common Sexual Dysfunction

The most common sexual dysfunctions that men experience are: loss of desire, erectile dysfunctions, premature ejaculation and impotence. Some women experience: inhibited sexual desire, lack of orgasm, insufficient lubrification and painful intercourse.

According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, in 2005 more than 105 million Americans have reported struggling with chronic sexual dysfunctions and many of them were not aware that there is help available. Diabetes can be one of the causes of sexual dysfunctions.

Also some prescription medications for depression can have a negative effect on sexual desire.

What Causes Sexual Dysfunction

There are many causes: some of them are related to hormone production, to blocks to the flow of energy, to shallow anxious breathing and unhealthy diet, just to mention a few.

The hormonal production tends to diminish with age, and you could consult a good endocrinologist to check your hormonal production status. There is a lot of information available on the internet. It’s worth learning about it.

There are also products available that are natural, organic, that very safely stimulate the body to increase production of the body’s natural growth hormones.

You Are What You Eat

What you eat and drink is also important. There are certain simple recommendations you might want to observe most of the time: eat your biggest meal between 12 and 2 PM; eat fish vegetables often; keep your stomach light at night; drink lots of water during the day. Drinking a little alcohol can help lower inhibitions, while drinking too much can inhibit sexuality.

Breathing Matters

Breathing shallowly and high in the chest is probably the most important single cause of lack of energy and anxiety during lovemaking. Through the years, we became habituated to breathe shallow breaths, often filling only the higher part of our chest where the lungs are narrow and smaller.

The body brings the venous blood to the lungs to be purified and the largest veins are located on the bottom of the lungs. Venous blood contains carbon dioxide and other poisonous gases that need to be exchanged with oxygen and thus transformed into vital arterial blood that nourished and strengthens the body.

To be fully present and energetic lovers, we need to learn to breathe to facilitate this exchange as fully as possible. Tantra teaches different breaths for different purposes. Some of the most used techniques are to increase energy and to retain energy without going over the top.

Sometimes It’s Emotional

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What is Tantra and Tantric Sex?

Carla Tara — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:22:35 +0000

Tantra is such a vast subject that it’s fascinating and awe-inspiring. It includes so much that it can be very confusing to the beginning student.

Tantra is an art, a science, a way of life that is honest and courageous. It includes and faces squarely our sexual energy, this awesome force that some religions fear and want to suppress. It can be used to help us reach our highest potential of pleasure, and union with the divine.

What Tantra Is and Isn’t

However, Tantra is not a religion. Tantra does not require anyone to follow any dogmas. Rather, it encourages us to discover through our own experience our true creative potential for pleasure, and our ability to connect with all the elements that surround us, and the spirit that we all share.

To achieve this, it offers a series of exercises in breathing, tone vibrations, the use of certain muscles, and concentration on certain symbols representing the energy centers of the body. This helps us clear blocks interfering with the movement of energy, and guides us into altered states of consciousness.

There we can transcend our everyday self-identification, and we can get a glimpse of our true larger reality. This includes the body, and goes beyond to include "all that is." It’s a state of great expansion and orgasmic pleasure that surpasses by far the short-lived ejaculatory orgasm that many are accustomed to.

Engaging in the Tantric Journey

There are many wonderful book on Tantra, and reading can open your mind up to Tantra, but in order to actually engage in the journey, I think the best way to start is with a good guide. Why do many people need a guide?

Some books can be confusing and no matter how well written they can never express the warmth and guidance of a real knowledgeable professional who can transmit her energy and knowledge to the seekers who are open to receive it.

Connect With and Clear Emotional Issues

If you want to prepare for a really high Tantric experience with each other, it is also essential to start by taking time to connect and catch up with emotional issues that might linger unexpressed. People often leave these issues unsaid because of some common rationalizations, such as “I don’t want to start a fight with her” or “he’s not ready to hear me.”

But when we leave these emotions hidden, they become a hindrance to the moving of erotic energy, and end up suppressing our passion for each other. Paying attention to each other and really listening to each other’s concerns is essential. Learning how to “make love grow” becomes especially imperative if you did not see good models for this process while growing up.

Making Love Tantrically

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How To Make Lovemaking a Real Love Making Experience With Touch

Carla Tara — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 19:24:28 +0000

People have forgotten the simplest lovemaking ‘technique’ of all: the incredible power of human touch. Even when the opportunity arises in lovemaking sessions for us to give and receive the pleasure of the caress, we tend to get caught up in the drive to ejaculatory orgasms.

Making Lovemaking a Real Love Making Experience

Admittedly, ejaculatory orgasms produce intense pleasure, but without the slow build up of conscious touch, it is more like a sneeze in the groin, just a release of tension, than a deeply satisfying experience that “makes love grow” (love making).

Unfortunately for many people, sex encounters become more mutual masturbation than real love building experiences.

Tantra invites us to take time to thoroughly touch each other to increase arousal across the entire body. Our skin is our biggest organ and needs caring love and attention. But the Tantric touch, the conscious touch, goes deeper than the skin.

Using Conscious Touch

“Conscious touch” means that you are not thinking of something else. Your attention is fully on your lover, how they breathe and how they take in your touch. Your conscious touch stirs up energy, opening up both the heart and the flow of sexual energy in the form of weak electronic waves that continue to build up until they become larger waves that encompass the entire body.

Sometimes we touch how we want to be touched instead of tuning in to see how our lover likes it. If you notice your lover caught up in their own thoughts, notice how you are touching them. Ask if they would like a softer or stronger, slower or faster touch. This will get their attention back, and you will get a chance to give them the touch they desire.

Touch is both sensuous and healing. The most obvious emissaries of love are our arms, and the focal points from which love flows are the palms. When we touch our loved ones, we help them heal from any pain or disappointment they experience during the day, and they feel that life is worth living just to be touched by you.

Connecting Your Intention With Your Breath

When you connect your intention to your breath, you will feel their muscles sucking in that attention, all the way down to the bones. Yes, bones need love and attention, too, and your intention connected with your breath is powerful enough to penetrate deeply.

Tantric people know that touching a lover does not have to end in ejaculation. Some women cringe when their men start touching them because they know it will end up in intercourse and they might not be in the mood.

I invite men to set up a “just touching time” with your beloved. Then, even when she gets excited you keep your agreement of “just touching” during that time. Doing this often, you build up trust in your word, and she will be touched with joy anytime you do so.

And I promise you that both of you will have an incredibly great time touching and making love.

To learn more about Carla Tara, visit www.1Tantra.com.

Taming The Tiger: Exploring Female Sexual Pleasure

Maya Silverman — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 19:19:01 +0000

Female sexuality has always been a source of mystery and power. Even during ancient times, philosophers and poets often devoted themselves to discovering the hidden secrets of female sexuality.

However, many of these exposed “secrets” painted female sexuality as something to be feared as opposed to celebrated.

The Sexuality of Women is a Mystery

Today, the sexuality of women is still a mysterious subject for many including females themselves! Thanks to the nearly impossible work schedules of our work lives and the hectic demands from our family and friends, women often leave their own sexuality on the back burner, choosing instead to put the needs of others before their own.

It’s not entirely a conscious choice, either, as many women feel more comfortable catering to the needs of their family, friends and lovers before paying attention to their own.

Modern Life Affects Women’s Sexuality

Modern life can also have a draining effect on female sexual power, as the daily stresses of our day-to-day schedules can not only have a negative effect on women’s emotional and mental well-being, but her sexual force as well.

Women, think about it this way: how many nights have you returned home from work or a social outing, only to reject the advances of your lover because you were too tired or stressed to even think about making love?

It’s easy to see that female sexuality is often adversely affected by modern life, as stress can prevent a woman’s sexuality from blossoming into the sheer sexual energy that it deserves to be.

It’s no surprise that female sexuality continues to remain an enigmatic puzzle! Yet if you’re looking to reclaim the power and beauty of your own sexuality, then look no further than Tantric text to reawaken the sexual tiger within!

When you think of Tantra, do you think of intense sack sessions full of mind-bending positions that seem nearly impossible? While many may limit their view of Tantra to this picture, Tantra is actually a way of channeling and controlling the sexual energy that courses through our bodies.

What is Tantra?

This method of achieving sexual nirvana actually originated with the Zami cult, a group of women who used Tantra as a way to celebrate the power and beauty of female sexuality. When Tantra merged with Hindu and Buddhist influences, it became the Tantra that we know of today, a celebratory blend of male and female pleasure, where two lovers can reach sexual nirvana by appreciating the power of each other’s sexual power and energy.

Yet female sexuality cannot be celebrated if women don’t take the time to release and explore their own sexual power. Want to celebrate your divine sexuality? Here’s how to battle the modern stresses that women face today in order to reclaim and release the tiger that is female sexuality!

Celebrating Women’s Divine Sexuality

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Can Men Really Have Multiple Orgasms? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 15:09:56 +0000

A woman has the ability to have more than one orgasm in a day or even more than one orgasm per sexual episode – sometimes one right after the other.

Many people believe that this is something gender exclusive and that men can’t achieve the same experience – but is that really true?

We’re going to take a look at both the physical – and social – boundaries that might (or might not) be keeping men from having more than one big O.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

There are many drugs out there to keep a man arouse, my husband doesn’t have this problem…

Are there drugs out there to help him have multi-orgasms?
(speaking about more than 1 per day.. not necessarily more than once per ‘event’).

- Jenn, Georgia

Wait! Give this Video 5 Stars and Subscribe Today so you don’t miss a single video.

Think men can’t orgasm more than once? Think again!

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