Ask Dan and Jennifer » threesome

Britney Spears “3″ – Are Threesomes “In?” (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:20:57 +0000

It’s every guy’s wet dream right – and no, we’re not talking about the Princess-Leia-in-the-gold-bikini fantasy. We’re talking about threesomes. Threesomes have long been touted as the “holy grail” of sex for guys, and any real life threesome gives a guy automatic bragging rights to his friends. Women who are down with threesomes are considered wild and fun, and as society becomes less censored and more open about human sexuality, threesomes are actually a commonly accepted practice. So are threesomes the new black?

Britney Spears “3″ is one of the most popular songs out there right now, but how many of you have stopped to actually listen to the words? Britney claims that threesomes are the new “in.” Well, that’s what we’re talking about today on the show. Are threesomes the new “in” or a disaster for your relationship?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Why Are Threesomes So Popular

Guys are visual. We all know that. One naked girl = one erection. So what about two naked girls? More erections? Double the pleasure? What about if the two girls start getting sexual with each other while the man watches? Or better yet, what if the two girls start getting sexual with each other and with the above mentioned man? Guys tend to like “bigger” and “better” things, and there’s really nothing “bigger” or “better” when it comes to sex than threesomes or foursomes. Not only do you have twice – or three times – the visual stimulation, you also have several different physical sensations going on at once. When you take all emotion whatsoever out of it and think about it like a guy does – that is, looking at it from a purely physical standpoint – it’s not hard to see why threesomes are so popular. Many women enjoy threesomes as well, if they are secure and confident in themselves, their relationships and their sexuality. Sometimes, three’s not really a crowd.

Will A Threesome Destroy Your Relationship?

Some women – and men too – absolutely refuse to have an open relationship or even consider having a threesome. Some girls are afraid that if they are open to having a threesome, it will ruin their relationship. Not only can jealousy ruin a threesome, it can hurt too. It can also be hard to imagine going back to a normal sex life after introducing a threesome or a foursome. How can you ever top that? How can you ever keep your man from wanting to add another girl every time? There are definitely a lot of concerns for women when it comes to thinking about having a threesome or foursome. How can you handle those concerns?

A threesome won’t ruin a relationship or even damage it, in and of itself. It’s what can happen when there’s no clear communication between all the parties involved in the threesome, and when someone’s expectations are too high. There are, however, ways you can avoid trouble when it comes to inviting another person – or persons – into your bed.

How To Make A Threesome Successful

First, talk to your partner about having a threesome. Is it something you both want? Do you want to have a threesome just to please your partner, or is it something you would enjoy too? Making sure you’re on the same starting page is the first step. When you’ve come to the decision that having a threesome is something you and your partner would both enjoy doing together, talk to each other and establish some ground rules. What are you both expecting out of a threesome? Is your partner expecting you to have threesomes often if you’re comfortable with it, or is this a once-in-a-lifetime deal? Talk about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with, and how you want to deal with things that make you uncomfortable. Once you’ve reached common ground when it comes to the threesome, above all, make sure anyone else that is involved in your threesome is in the know too.

Would You Have A Threesome?

32% of users who answered our online threesome poll suggested they would “absolutely” have a threesome, no questions asked. 40% suggested they would have a threesome if they were with “the right group of friends.” Only a small percentage – 29% to be exact – suggested they wouldn’t even consider having a threesome. So are threesomes “in?” Would you have a threesome? Take our poll here, only on Ask Dan and Jennifer.

How To Find Your Swinging Comfort Zone (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:00:51 +0000

Swinging seems taboo, but more and more couples are talking about it as a way to spice up their sex lives. Swinging can be fun and can involve flirting, roleplaying, watching or going all the way with other couples. Not everything is right for everybody though, so here’s how to find your swinging comfort zone so you and your partner can have fun and have a fun, exciting sex life!

How can someone interested in swinging establish their own comfort zone and boundaries so they can have a fun and exciting sexual experience?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Challenging Your Comfort Zones

Many couples are afraid to start swinging because – duh – it’s completely out of your sexual comfort zone. Especially if you’ve been with your partner for years, starting to swing is just like dating all over again. You’re nervous meeting people, nervous about having a physical relationship with them…it’s not at all like the comfortable sex you have with your partner! Don’t worry though – swinging is commonly misunderstood. It’s not just a massive orgy all the time where everyone does everything with each other. Swingers are just adults looking to have a good time in a variety of different ways – so it’s time to challenge your comfort zones without jumping right out of them.

What Are Your Comfort Zones?

Even if your comfortable with your partner, you might not be in sync with them when it comes to thinking about swinging. You and your partner may have completely different ideas about what you want to accomplish while swinging and what swinging means to each of you. Find out what your partner is comfortable with and what their comfort zones are, and talk about what yours are too. Think about what would possibly make you uncomfortable. Decide what the boundaries are, what you’re ok with or not ok with. Write them down! Do you want to involve oral sex but not actual intercourse, or do you want to watch only? You don’t want to find out something is not ok after it’s already happened. The best thing you can do is communicate with your partner and talk, talk, talk – and then talk some more! The biggest reason that swinging doesn’t succeed with couples is because they didn’t take the time to discuss their thoughts and feelings about swinging before and after.

Reviewing And Redoing The Rules

The rules of swinging don’t change during swinging, but they can certainly change before and after. Just because you and your partner have agreed on a set of rules for what is ok and not ok during swinging doesn’t mean it has to stay that way forever. You and your partner both have the right to review the rules and redo them at your discretion – just don’t forget to talk about it! Above all, practice safe sex if you’re having sex with other people and be smart about it. Make sure everyone is in agreement about what is going to happen, including the other couple(s) and everyone is comfortable with what is going to happen. Even though the rules don’t change during swinging, if someone is getting hurt or you’re uncomfortable with something, you certainly have the right to stop.

I’m Attracted To Girls – How Can I Share A Threesome With My Husband? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:00:25 +0000

Ah, the threesome. It’s almost every guy’s fantasy, but men rarely get to indulge in this popular but taboo sexual act. Some guys get lucky though, and their partner is up for a little same sex fun with their husbands – but more often than not, the woman is scared to share her newfound interest with her husband because she’s afraid she’ll have to do it every time to keep her husband from getting bored in the bedroom. What’s a girl to do?

She’s attracted to girls, he thinks it’s great – but how can she share a fun, exciting sexual experience with her husband while still staying safe and without upping the ante in their sexual relationship at home?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Opening Pandora’s Box

It’s a legitimate fear – she wants to share her attraction to girls with her husband, but she’s afraid she and her husband won’t be able to have regular sex again if they have a threesome. It’s his ultimate fantasy – so if she does it once, how can she ever live up to that again? It’s a fear that a lot of girls have and it’s one that keeps many of them from experimenting in the bedroom. Whether they’re afraid of opening the theoretical Pandora’s Box, or they’re jealous of their man with other women, many guys don’t get to have threesomes with their partners not because their partner isn’t into women, but because their partner is scared of the consequences.

Making It A Reality

If you decide that you want to try to share your attraction to women with your husband, take it one step at a time. There’s no need to dive right in with a straight-up, kinky threesome. Start by talking about girls first. Watch some videos with girls in it together, and try to meet some girls. See what it’s like to flirt and interact with other women. Does it make you uncomfortable? Does it make you jealous at all? If you find yourself uncomfortable at any time, it’s important that you recognize it as a sign to stop from moving forward. Don’t go too far too fast, because you might not be able to go back. Take your time and explore different things with your partner that involve women. You may find something that you like that doesn’t involve a threesome at all.

All Or Nothing?

Having interactions with other couples and other women isn’t all or nothing. When it comes to “swinging,” some couples simply get together and flirt, with a little light play. Some couples just watch each other get it on, while others go all the way and swap partners, share each other and do pretty much everything. Some couples just let the girls play. It depends on what you’re comfortable with, and you’re not expected to do everything all at once. The biggest reason that playing with other couples can fail is if you fail to communicate – so talk to your husband, listen to your husband, talk to the people you’re interested in interacting with and make sure that everyone is absolutely on the same page about everything.

Cuckold Fantasy: My Wife With Another Man – Why Do I Like It? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 01:00:28 +0000

Everyone has a secret sex fantasy – what’s yours? Maybe you have a shoe fetish, or perhaps you enjoy BDSM or biting. What is considered outside the norm for you? What if you like watching your wife get banged by another man and really enjoy it? Is this considered abnormal? Should you stop indulging in your fantasy? Here’s what you want to know about 2 guy, 1 girl threesomes and more.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Cuckold question: I like watching my wife get banged by a well endowed man. I love watching her climax in ways she doesn’t with me. Is this TOO weird?

–John, IN

Click here to view the embedded video.

Who Gets To Determine What Is Normal?

First of all, what is considered “normal” in this society? There are so many varieties of people with different cultures and different backgrounds who all do things a little bit differently that it’s practically impossible for anyone to determine a baseline of what is considered “normal” or “abnormal.” With that said, people might think your fantasy is weird if you share it with them, but what about those guys who like wearing women’s underwear – do you think that’s weird? Everyone’s own fantasy or fetish isn’t considered strange to them, but other people’s fantasies are labeled “weird” or “abnormal.” It’s all subjective, so worry less about what is “normal” and what isn’t and focus more on how to get what you and your partner both want in a sexually healthy relationship.

Confidence In Your Sexuality And Masculinity

If you enjoy watching your wife have sex with another man and are genuinely cool with it, you deserve some kudos! While involving other women with their wife in a 2-girl, 1 guy threesome is a typical man’s fantasy, the tables often get turned when a woman suggests bringing another man into the equation. Most men are too self conscious, too jealous and too insecure with themselves to really enjoy watching their partner be with another person sexually. If you’re not bothered by watching your wife become sexually intimate with another man and truly enjoy watching her be pleasured in this way, it speaks volumes about your confidence in yourself and your masculinity.

Have Fun!

The best way to judge if your sexual fantasy or fetish is “crossing” the line is to ask yourself the basic question – does it involve only consenting adults? Is everyone comfortable with what is going on? If so, have fun! As long as you and everyone involved can legally consent to sexual activity and no one is being harmed or doing something they’re uncomfortable doing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your sexual fetish or fantasy. Make sure your relationship with your partner stays strong and healthy, and communicate with them regularly about what you like, what she likes and what the third person likes during sex. If any hard feelings come up, talk to your partner about them. If you have any suggestions about what would turn you on more, or if your partner has any suggestions about what would turn them on more, it’s important to keep an open line of communication going when it comes to your sex life. The biggest reason that threesome fantasies crumble is that partners have a breakdown in communication – enjoy yourself and talk to your partner often for a healthy and happy sex life!

He Feels A Threesome Will Solve Our Sex Issues – I Disagree (Video)

Paul Carlson — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 00:34:27 +0000

Threesomes have long been touted as the “coveted” sexual thing that all men want but can rarely have. If your partner has brought up having a threesome in your relationship, you’re likely not surprised – unless a “threesome” is your partner’s idea of revving up your sex life. While this can help two people who are very secure in their relationship, secure in themselves and secure in their sex life, if you’re not any of those a threesome can be disastrous. So how can you spice up your sex life without having a threesome?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My partner wants to bring a third person into our bedroom, but I want to fix our sexual issues first. Our sex life is sketchy at best… I don’t see adding a third person (threesome) any time soon and feel that he needs to show me more attention and make sure that I feel secure before adding a third person. How do I talk to him about this without causing a fight and him blowing up?

–Alexis, TX

Click here to view the embedded video.

Roleplaying

It can be hurtful to think about it in this way, but gal’s got to wonder, “Does he want a threesome because he’s not interested in me sexually anymore?” While you may be confident that your partner loves you and wants to be with you on a romantic level, hearing him introduce the idea of bringing another woman into the bedroom can definitely make you feel inadequate. Is this wrong on his part? Not likely – he’s trying to find a solution to his problem and trying to involve you at the same time. So it’s time to think outside the box a little bit. What if you roleplayed a different person entirely for him? Wore a wig, a new outfit, or even played a different part for a little while? Your partner may become very turned on by this, especially by seeing you so “out of yourself.” It’s almost like having an affair without having an affair, and the excitement and different feelings of roleplaying can really set your sex life on fire.

He Can Roleplay Too

Are you bored in the bedroom? You could be initiating sex less (thus leaving your partner high and dry) because you too are bored, or unsatisfied with your sex life. That doesn’t mean that you love your partner any less, but a little safe excitement never hurt anyone. To that end, if your partner likes the roleplaying idea, ask if he’ll try it too. Share with him some of your fantasies (being arrested by a dirty police officer anyone?) and let him decide which he feels comfortable with and let him surprise you. You might find that your own sexual desires are awakened, without something as drastic as a threesome.

Thinking Out Of The Box

Roleplaying is just one way to spice up your sex life. Start thinking outside the box – introduce toys, books, magazines, videos, costumes, lingerie, lubricants…anything sexual that will take you outside of that normal comfort zone and put you in an exciting, new sexual place. Heck, it may even be having sex on the couch instead of the bed that does it! There are so many different things you can do to give your sex life, well, a new life! All you have to do is have an open mind and get a little creative! Browse the internet for some fun ideas and when it comes to roleplaying, never, ever forget that the Star Wars Princess Leia Slave costume is just about every guy’s wet dream. Have fun!

The Swinger Lifestyle and Open Relationships – Is it Really CHEATING?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 19:14:14 +0000

Some couples have a truly amazing, exotic sex life that’s enough to make most anyone jealous.

But there’s more to a great sex life than endless sexual adventures and erotic games.

It’s not even about those amazing mind-shattering orgasms that many have heard about, but few have ever experienced.

The real secret lies in really playing together and being completely open with your lover, your playmate, your partner in crime. Open up and share your fantasies, and indulge your partner in theirs. That’s the well kept secret of those with the truly incredible sex lives.

So… How About a Threesome? Or Maybe Even Swinging?

In expanding their sex lives, many couples come across that point where they consider a threesome – or even consider inviting another couple into their bedroom. Gasp!

Sure, bringing another woman into their bed is possibly the most popular male fantasy of all time. But finding that ever elusive single girl that likes to play with couples in her spare time is more challenging than some might thing. Fact is, most single girls like to go out and have sex with single men – not with couples.

Of course there’s a lot of social stigma around “swingers” which generally comes to mind, but the reality today is very different. Rather than the old “wife swapping” lifestyle of decades past, some couples today choose to try new things to spice up their sex life, and this new thing may or may not include playing with other singles or couples.

This is not about “swinger groupies” – people who don’t care about much other than having sex with others in large orgies, and hanging out at swinger lifestyle conventions. It’s about a couple experimenting and trying a new thing or another to add more spice to their sex life. THAT’S IT!

What’s truly amazing is that for something with such stigma, over 20 million Americans engage in sex multiple partners, together with their spouses. And the most popular adult personals site shows a consistent number in each state, regardless of religious or political stereotypes.

Are you a bad person if you WANT to have sex with your friends?

Think back… maybe back to your college days. Have you ever had one of those late nights hanging out with some friends, another couple? You know the feeling… you’ve all had a little too much to drink, and card games are starting to become a contact sport. You look around the room and everyone’s feeling the excitement, the sexual tension.

And while you’re pretty excited to cross a boundary here, you’re terrified. Are you suddenly a bad person? Are you taking advantage of your friends? Are they taking advantage of you? Is it cheating to be even having those thoughts? Are you asking way too many questions for the amount of alcohol you’ve consumed?

Is It CHEATING to Have Sex with Someone Other Than Your Spouse, Partner, Lover?

That certainly depends on how you define cheating. It’s kind of hard for you two to be cheating on each other while you’re BOTH enjoying something together, isn’t it?

Cheating is a breaking of the sacred trust in your relationship. When you’re both enjoying a fun, new adventure, it’s not possible to “cheat” on each other.

But BEWARE. While it’s not technically cheating, there are a few things that could go very wrong if you’re not careful.

You MUST have excellent and very open communication, and a great, solid relationship, or this will tear your relationship apart. Swinging, or the broader concept of an “open relationship” is definitely not a crutch to drag out a failing relationship. It can only work for a couple whose relationship is steady and strong, and can withstand the emotional torrent that can be unleashed when you bring new people into your intimate relationship.

MMF Threesome Dilemma… Why Can’t My Threesome Have One Woman and Two Men? (Video)

Paul Carlson — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 19:15:03 +0000

It’s widely known in society that a man enjoys watching two or more women have sex with each other. A huge fantasy among men is to have a threesome with their partner – two women with him right smack in the middle of them.

Less mentioned, however, is the threesome where there is one woman and two men. What causes a two man-one woman threesome to be much more taboo?

So what’s wrong with an MMF Threesome – one girl and two guys?

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The Human Condition

It’s natural for humans to be curious about sex in a variety of different forms. Whether it’s oral sex, anal sex or even sex with someone of the same gender, these are all things that pique the curiosity and interest of a human being.

Men, however, are socially raised to believe that it is not acceptable to be submissive in any way. They’re taught to be macho.

Also socially ingrained into men and all people actually, is that when two people come together, one must be submissive and the other dominant.

This is something that is seen with all mammals and it’s only natural for humans. Understanding why two men being together sexually is considered more taboo than two women being together sexually takes an understanding of the human condition.

If men are taught to never be submissive and when two people are together, one of them must be submissive, if two men are together one of them must become submissive.

Socially, this is unacceptable, yet this is something that is not projected on women. It seems perfectly natural and even erotic for two women to be together sexually and fuels a number of male fantasies.

Exploring Homosexuality

Every person has at least one fleeting thought about sex with someone of the same gender. It’s totally normal! However, because of the mindset that society has placed on people, men having even a fleeting homosexual thought is considered not normal.

Were a man to express this to someone, they would automatically assume that he is gay as opposed to assuming that he is human. Watching two women be together sexually allows a man to explore two people of the same gender being together sexually without being criticized in any way.

Perks of Same Sex Partners

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Should I Act On My Threesome Fantasy? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:15:15 +0000

If you’re interested in having a threesome with your friends, you might be a little intimidated about how to approach the situation. Even if you or your friends have hinted at it or joked about it before, it can seem a little awkward bringing up the topic seriously.

How can you approach that subject with your friends without risking anything?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m 34 years old and have recently won a 3 yr battle with cancer. I have a new lease on life and want to live it to the fullest. I have an absolute best guy friend, “Rick”, who is dating my best friend “Abbie”. I have been thinking a lot lately about having a threesome with “Rick” and “Abbie”. I’m just not sure how to broach the subject with either of them. “Rick” and I have joked about it a few times before but I always brushed it aside… Now, how should I go about approaching the subject for real? I love them both, and I don’t want anyone hurt at all.

–Amanda, Kentucky

Click here to view the embedded video.

Your Friends Are Your Friends

First off, if your friends are really your friends, especially if they’ve joked about it before, they’re not going to hang you just for suggesting a threesome for real. You’re all adults and you can talk about the topic as adults.

Simply bring it up, possibly over a glass of wine or after a nice meal, and discuss the situation. Let them know that you’ve been running the idea through your head and it might something you want to try.

Be honest with them. In turn, you’ll find they’ll be honest with you. They might say it was something they were only joking about and they’re not comfortable trying that with you at this point.

That’s okay! Then again, they might say it’s something they’re open to experiencing. You won’t know until you talk to them about it.

When The Mood Is Right

Okay, so you don’t want to approach the topic of having a threesome with your friends over a quick breakfast before work, or when the kids are acting up. If you wait until the mood is right, however, you’ll most likely get the more honest response.

For example, your friends might really be into the idea, but if they’re rushed or otherwise occupied, they’re probably going to brush the idea off.

Approach your friends alone when everyone is at ease and laughing with each other. You’ll get a much better response that way!

Talking About The Details

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Threesomes As An Alternative Approach to Marriage Therapy? (Video)

Paul Carlson — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:14:02 +0000

Many times, after about six or seven years of a relationship or marriage, the sex life tends to dwindle.

As time goes on, the sex life continues to dwindle and sex with your partner becomes routine.

Your interest in sex with your partner may lessen, but this doesn’t mean that you love your partner less or your relationship is doomed. It just means your relationship has progressed naturally!

Can having a threesome bring the spice back into your partnership?

You had mentioned the other day that some therapists actually recommend bringing

a third person into the bedroom to spice up your sex life. Please explain…

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Threesomes aren’t for everyone.

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Can Swinger Relationships REALLY Work? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:44:59 +0000

Nowadays, you hear so much about open relationships and swinging, where partners will team up with other couples (or even go their separate ways) to have new and fun sexual experiences with other people.

You also sometimes hear how this is essentially a recipe for disaster, but you’ve thought about it and it sounds like something you might want to try. Can an open relationship or swinging relationship ever actually work?

Can swinger and open relationships really work or are they just a recipe for disaster?

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Yes, for strong couples.

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New Swinger Concern – What If We Can’t Agree? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 14:50:25 +0000

If you’re new to the swinging game, picking a partner that satisfies you and your husband or wife can seem kind of intimidating.

You’re not alone! You’re right to be a little nervous about picking a swinging partner, especially if it’s your first time.

You need to pick a swinging partner that you are both comfortable with and attracted to, or trouble can brew. If you and your partner can’t agree on who to swing with, should you compromise?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My wife and I want to get into swinging. We’ve been talking about it for a little over 2 years now. She was the one who approached me with the idea. We have joined a swing site but the problem is that my wife doesn’t like my taste in woman.

I’m not into super thin women I like a woman with a little belly but not huge. Let me say this before judging me on this not that you would. My wife is not small but not huge either, I love her dearly, but she always wants me to pick a woman that is larger then her or the same size. But when she picks the man she wants I never question her on it. Its just sex I’m not looking to replace her.

Am I wrong for wanting a woman that I’m more physically attracted with?

- Aaron, Ohio

Click here to view the embedded video.

Her fears.

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Thinking of Having a Threesome? Why Not Make It A Foursome… (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 14:15:41 +0000

You and your partner have decided to have a threesome. You may even have someone in mind that you and your partner have both agreed on.

If you’re about to take the plunge into the world of multiple partner sex, you may have a few questions on how to do it safely.

Congratulations! Not everyone has safety on their mind before having a threesome. Here are some great ways to have safety in numbers.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi.

Just wanted to say I think it is great what you two do. My question is my girlfriend and I want to have a threesome with another female and we have one lined up. I know to use a condom but what about oral and other kinds of play? We don’t want to come home with some kind of STD.

Do you have any advice for protection?

– John, CA

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Getting Tested

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Hey, Are You Guys Swingers?

Kasidie Swinger Lifestyle Magazine — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:35:50 +0000

We have heard so many stories about couples that were confronted or "outed" by friends, family or co-workers about their "lifestyle" and they simply didn’t know what to say. Caught off guard, they stumbled, mumbled and bumbled through their explanation, leaving little or no doubt that they were indeed "Swingers".

"If my (mother, boss, kids, etc…) knew what we do… they’d disown us! It would be a disaster!"

We have heard it 1,000 times. Interestingly, in most instances the opposite is the case. A countless number of couples have told us that when their family and friends did find out, things actually got better, not worse.

Coming Clean

In our case, Tess thought her conservative family would freak out if they discovered our personal lives (and our lifestyle related business!). Then, one New Year’s Day, we awoke to a phone call from her mom. Still groggy, Tess stepped over several of our naked friends, still sleeping from the house party the night before, and answered the phone.

After a quick "Happy New Year!", her mom got right to the point – "Do you throw sex parties?" Stunned, Tess sunk into a chair and started to explain our "lifestyle" convention business and the rest of our "lifestyle" in more depth. Her mom didn’t say much and only asked a few questions, allowing Tess to fully explain, that morning, the secret part of our lives we had been living over the past 13 years.

…her mom got right to the point –
"Do you throw sex parties?"

When she thought she was finished, she braced for the onslaught she always knew would come her way, if or when her family found out. After a brief (but excruciating) moment of silence, her mom finally said, "Now everything makes sense."

Apparently her mom had held a grudge for years, because she’d hear we were going to Jamaica, Mexico, Las Vegas, Miami, Chicago, Toronto, etc… She couldn’t figure out why we didn’t have more time to visit her while having plenty of time to vacation all around the world. Once she found out that these trips were actually business trips, she was more understanding. As a result, Tess and her mom grew closer.

I attribute a lot of that to simple communication. Once that weight was lifted from Tess’ shoulders, she and her mom talked a lot more often, and openly. We ended up visiting her more frequently. Her mom still doesn’t really understand why we would be interested in a "lifestyle" like ours, but I can tell you that she respects us both more now than before our secret came out.

More People Should Be Open

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Virgin Male Swinger – Are My First Time Fears Normal? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 15:39:29 +0000

What guy hasn’t fantasized about a threesome?

Even married guys have the occasional “swinging” wet dream now and then.

However, facing the realities of actually sharing the love of your life with another man or woman for the first time gives rise to questions and insecurities that were never there before. How do you deal with them in a way that satisfies both partners?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi, I’ve fallen deeply in love with the woman of my dreams who happens to be bisexual but also an experienced swinger. I myself have fantasized about such things but have little experience. I am confused by my emotions of seeing my lady with another man. Although I am not bi I’m willing to experiment with another male for her, and its a funny thing that this causes less stress then seeing her with another man. I have no fear of sharing another woman with her, so why should sharing another man with her cause such worry? But it’s in the past why should it matter now? Is this a common fear for virgin male swingers like myself?

–Ric, London

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Common First Time Swinger Concerns

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When Swinger Sex Goes Horribly Wrong…

Melody Brooke — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:25:45 +0000

Threesomes and swinging are on most male fantasy lists, but what happens when it goes horribly wrong?

Over the course of my three marriages I have been encouraged by husbands to engage in a variety of interesting (and some downright bizarre) possible sexual behaviors. Of course, I tended to marry sex addicts, so the range of possibilities stretched a lot further than my sensibilities.

Along the way, I’ve been “encouraged” to participate in all kinds of things that became problems later on. Some of these were physically not a good idea, and I won’t go into that!

My first husband liked fantasies. I am quite creative so I was able to come up with all kinds of fun and innocent stories to keep him excited. I became good at playing the part and keeping things spicy – nothing dangerous or problematic there. But then eventually with some of the stories, he liked the idea of making them happen. These included other people.

While I can appreciate the desire to add spice and variety to the bedroom, I’ve discovered through my own (and others) experiences, there are some kinds of behaviors that are a set up for disaster. When you open the door and invite another person into the intimate connection with your partner you are inviting in trouble.

Now, in theory, I will conjecture that there are couples secure enough with each other where they can have flings with other people and not do any perceivable damage to their relationship. I’ve just never seen it happen that way personally…

Dan and Jennifer’s comments:

While this is one experience, Dan and I have seen many successful open/swinging relationships… Even though we don’t agree with with everything in this article, we wanted to publish it to show what can happen when you get into swinging for the wrong reasons.

It is critical to be honest with yourself and you partner. Never allow another person to ‘push’ you into something that you’re not comfortable with. For a swinging relationship to be successful, it has to be something that both partners want, not just grudgingly agree to.

What tends to happen is that one member of the couple is more motivated than the other to pursue the “Swinger” lifestyle. For whatever reason, having one sexual partner for the rest of their life is not appealing, but they like having a life partner.

Therefore that partner encourages the other to participate in this “exciting” adventure of “Swinging". Then both partners agree to it using certain ground rules.

…

Does Wanting to See My Wife Have Sex With Another Man Make Me Gay? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:35:58 +0000

One of the most popular fantasies out there is the idea of the threesome…

Most men love the idea of seeing their woman have sex with another woman while they watch, or the idea of having two women have sex with him at the same time.

But threesome fantasies don’t stop there…

There are also men out there, who love the idea of watching their woman have sex with another man.

Here’s an interesting question. If a man enjoys the idea of watching his woman have sex with another man, does this make him gay?

Here’s a question from Michael whose fantasies have him wondering about his sexuality.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I have talked jokingly about threesomes in the past. But recently she’s been bringing up the idea more often. I’m worried about what she would want afterwards like if she’d wanna bring home a guy. I don’t know how to respond…

I have entertained the thought of watching her have sex with another man while I watch. Would that make me gay to enjoy watching it? Also, I had more homo erotic thoughts but haven’t gotten hard around a guy that’s straight.

Am I just curious, confused or bi?

— Michael, Massachusetts

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Does This Mean I’m Gay?

We’re all sexual beings. We all have a unique ideas and fantasies, things that turn us on. Don’t get stuck on labels and just consider yourself ‘sexual’. It’s very common, and very exciting for most men, to think of their girlfriend as bi-curious, but most men get a little nervous when they think of a bi-curious boy.

But on that topic… We ran an online dating site for over three years and were very surprised by the large number of bisexual or bi-curious men. It’s not as uncommon as you might like to think.

There’s nothing wrong with being bi-curious, bisexual, or gay. That’s just your sexual preference. The sooner you get in touch with your own sexual preferences and desires, the happier and more fulfilled your sex life will be.

On The Topic Of Threesomes

So the idea of watching your partner with another man or woman that you really excited – and you have talked to one another enough to know that it gets your partner excited as well…

Here three tips to help make your first threesome more successful:

1. Talk About It

…

Curious Virgin Swingers – Honey the Neighbors are HOT! (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:51:33 +0000

Imagine meeting another couple, neighbors, co-workers, other parents… You become good friends or your kids become good friends, and you find yourself spending lots of time together.

And then one evening, maybe after a few drinks by the pool, you start to notice that they’re really hot, you start feeling some sexual tension all around, and you start having these ‘thoughts’…

You might actually like to have sex with them!

Those thoughts are typically followed by thoughts like "Am I a bad person?", "Do they feel the same way?", "What will my partner think?".

Soon your head is spinning… What do you do? Do you act on these feelings or just keep them as your secret fantasies?

Here’s a question from Randy who seems to have some really hot neighbors!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

A few years ago, we had a younger couple move next door to us. The sexual tone between us and the other couple is ever increasing.

I’m interested in having sex with them but I am not sure about my wife. I haven’t shared my feelings with her yet. I’m very open regarding my sexual life. Should I be looking for clues regarding to the possibility of swinging with them?

This would be a first for us but I think it would be a lot of fun as long as guideline and rules are followed such as the one posted in your site.

– Randy, Washington

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

First Time Swingers

If you’re thinking about swinging with your partner for the first time, we have one rule above all others…

Virgin Swingers – Am I A BAD Person If I Want to Have Sex with Our Friends? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 18:16:28 +0000

Some couples have a truly amazing, exotic sex life that’s enough to make most anyone jealous.

But there’s more to a great sex life than endless sexual adventures and erotic games.

It’s not even about those amazing mind-shattering orgasms that many have heard about, but few have ever experienced.

Here’s a question from a woman who would love to enhance her and her husband’s sex life by having sex with some of their friends, but she’s terribly afraid of what others will think of her…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi this is a tough question for me because we were asked to do something with some friends of ours that I thought I would never do. They asked us to have sex with them!

Is it possible to have sex with this couple and still remain friends with each other? We do a lot together and I can see the sexual tension between all of us. We want to do it but we are not sure how to start it.

There are also kids. I don’t want to do anything with the kids around is that a smart idea. I really want to do this but I am nervous and scared and don’t know what to do. We all know that we love our spouses and that sex is as far as it will go.

Am I a bad person for wanting to have sex with someone else other than my husband? He is the only one I have had sex with. I have a lot of mixed emotions about this and I need some advice. We are all really good friends and don’t want to ruin our friendship either please help me.

What should I do?

– Heather, Iowa

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget to Give this video 5 stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you can stay up to date with all our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

So… How About a Threesome? Or Maybe Even Swinging?

In expanding their sex lives, many couples come across that point where they consider a threesome – or even consider inviting another couple into their bedroom. Gasp!

Exclusive Swingers – Are You CHEATING On Your Swinger Friends? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 20:41:21 +0000

Exclusive swingers? Isn’t that an oxymoron?

Exclusivity is not what you typically think of when you talk about the swinger lifestyle. Few in the swinger community would consider it cheating to play with multiple couples and partners without consulting them. It’s important to remember that swinging is largely about expanding an individual or a couple’s sex lives, and not usually about extending the romantic circle.

What about polyamory?

Some consider polyamory to be a more enlightened approach to swinging, though it’s really a very different animal. With polyamory, a couple will actually expand their love and romantic relationship to truly include others, not just for the occasional fun and sexual fantasies.

For many, the idea of swinging is really a stretch… polyamory is even more so because we’re no longer talking about being committed to a single person.

Can you expect an exclusive relationship with another couple?

People are interesting in their expectations, and since we’re all unique, nothing is really too far fetched to be expected. Think about an exclusive relationship between two people. It slowly evolves from the casual meeting, a few dates, and eventually exclusivity where you’re no longer seeing other people.

It’s entirely possible for two couples to also become close over time, and for some of the players to develop closer feelings for each other. In this case it’s definitely possible for one couple to get jealous when the other couple sees other people. No, it’s not the regular traditional lifestyle experience, but it definitely does happen on occasion.

And when it does…

Don’t talk with your family about your sex life and your exotic sexual fantasies

It’s always great to share our lives with our loved ones… not just our romantic partners, but also our blood families.

BUT… this can sometimes lead to problems, especially when we’re talking about parts of our lives that are not viewed as "acceptable" or "mainstream" by some segments of society.

This can happen when parents share intimate details of their sex lives with their grown children, as well as those same grown children sharing with their parents.

At first this seems to go against what we normally believe in, but stay with us here. Countless fights and arguments start when people share too much about their sex lives with their families.

We’re generally very adamant on having very open and honest communication in relationships, whether those are romantic relationships, family relationship, or friend relationships.

However…

Swinger Sex Partners: Should We Try a Threesome or a Foursome? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 13 May 2007 18:13:53 +0000

Some couples are much more sexually curious and adventurous than others.

These are the swingers and other sexually liberated souls seeking threesomes and more, together with their life partner.

While many have fights and arguments due to petty jealousy, others actually open their sex lives to others. They share and enjoy these experiences together, and amazingly enough, these experiences often bring a couple much closer together.

Today’s question is from a couple in New York ready to try their first threesome, or even a foursome.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I want to try a threesome or foursome. I agree with this, but I just want to know which one is least likely to cause me problem in my relationship?

– Jose in New York

Wait! Give this Video 5 Stars and Subscribe Today so you don’t miss a single video.

The mass media often portrays swingers as very risque and living a dangerous, risky life – but the fact is most swingers are much more cautions about safety and safe sex than their single counterparts. After all, these are generally couples playing together, so you have someone on your side planning with you at all times – you’re not winging it as you often do (and did) in the singles scene.

While these relationships can sometimes develop into polyamory, often times swingers just live the lifestyle and enjoy playing with their friends.

But of course the jealousy monster can always rear its ugly head, so always prepare and plan ahead before venturing into uncharted waters in search of new sex partners. There are rules and boundaries you must agree on with your partner ahead of time – no exceptions.

Also there are some great resources below to help you make the most of your new experience and avoid the common pitfalls that can lead to relationship disaster and, yes, break up.

Check out the largest swinger and sex personals dating site and find sex partners in your area today. They have millions of active members online, and 30,000 new photos uploaded daily.
500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know