Most Guys Don’t Know What It Is  - And Why It’s Different From The Vagina

An unfortunate amount of men are grossly uninformed about the vulva. Everyone knows about the vagina – that’s where the penis goes. When I say the word “clitoris,” there are some of you high five-ing each other going, “Hell, yeah, I know about the clit!” However, upon hearing “vulva,” most are either scratching their heads or answering something like, “It’s, you know, down there.” Well, it’s your lucky day. I’m going to explain what it is, and what exactly is “down there.”

The first thing that may surprise you is that the vulva is not a thing. It’s all the things. Contained in the vulva are the mons veneris, labia majora, the urethra, the clitoris, the vaginal opening, and the perineum. There are some other things in there, but for our purposes we’ll focus on just these.

Mons Veneris

The Mons Veneris is more commonly referred to as the Mound of Venus – the fatty tissue over the pubic bone. It is most easily distinguished by the fact that it is where the bush is. Or, if she is waxed, where the bush would be.

Labia Majora

Labia majora literally means “big lips.” I hope you are able to imagine where I’m going with this. They are the two folds that protect all the good stuff underneath. There is usually hair growing on them. However, again, in this day and age do not be shocked if that area is bare. Plus, it’s easier to see if labia majora are turning red. If they are, it means she’s turned on.

The Urethra

The little hole where the pee comes out. Don’t put your penis in there.

The Clitoris

If you do not know about the clitoris, you are in trouble, pal. This is the one and only place you can stimulate that will virtually guarantee an orgasm. It is covered with a thing called the “clitoral hood,” because it’s a hood – over the clitoris. Right up under there is the epicenter of nerve endings. If you can get your tongue, finger, or head of your penis on that spot, you have struck gold. Your woman will thank you dearly.

Vaginal Opening

Otherwise known to you as “Jackpot!” It is located below the urethra, and this is the place you can put your penis.

Perinium

The Perinium is a little known area of nerve endings. It is located between the vagina and the anus. You call yours a chode. If you lick that spot lightly, she’ll get a pleasant shock.

So, unless you’re referring to her actual vagina (you know, the Jackpot), then when you say “vagina,” you’re really talking about the vulva.

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Question: What do I do when her vagina smells really bad? I noticed, but I did not want to say anything. How do I kill that smell in my room, on my bed and on me?

–YouTube Viewer

Take A Shower Together Before Sex

As part of your foreplay routine, take a shower before sex. Sex in the shower can be super hot, and you can make washing your lover’s vagina part of turning her on. She’ll love the feel of your hands on her clitoris and labia as you soap her up, and she very well may want to do the same to you!

A shower before sex accomplishes two things – you get to wash your partner’s vagina without her really knowing that you’re washing it to get rid of odor (as long as you act like you’re trying to turn her on rather than scrub her clean) and you’re getting her aroused in the process. It’s a win-win situation!

Both Male And Female Genitals Have An Odor

Men may act like going down on a woman that has vaginal odor is the worst thing in the world, but many men forget that their genitals also have an odor. A man’s genitals smell a certain way, even when he is clean. His scent, however, will get stronger and more pungent in between showers and especially if he’s worked outside or engaged in physical activity such as jogging or aerobics.

A woman’s vagina is the same way – her natural smell is going to be less noticeable right after a shower, but it’s still there. It will get stronger as the day goes on, but this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with her. Women who have more pubic hair will also have a stronger odor, simply because body fluids stick to the hair. Some people find that the scent of their partner’s genitals is arousing, while other people don’t like it at all.

Also, be aware that if you and your partner have sex often without a condom, your seminal fluid is going to be hanging out in her vagina. It’s not going to hurt anything to leave it in there and your partner’s vagina will eventually clean itself out, however, many people find it easier to simply rinse the semen out by douching.

It Could Be An Infection

Women are prone to vaginal infections such as bacterial or yeast infections. A bacterial or yeast infection can cause a woman’s odor to change and become stronger, even with proper genital hygiene. If she washes regularly, or you take a shower before sex and you still notice that your partner’s vagina has a strong odor, she may have an infection.

In this case, you may want to suggest going to the doctor. This can be an awkward conversation, but if you’re genuinely concerned about her and her health and offer to go with her without criticism, she’s not going to be as offended. Do NOT make it about you and how you can’t stand your partner’s vaginal odor. She will likely never have sex with you again!

Not A Chemistry Match

Both men and women release pheromones through their genitals, and different people are attracted to different pheromones. It all has to do with body chemistry – if you find that your partner almost always smells really good down there to you, her body chemistry is likely a great match for you. Alternatively, if you find that she almost always smells really bad to you – even if she has impeccable genital hygiene – she may not be a good chemistry match for you.

Foods That She Eats

You may have heard that eating certain foods will affect the taste of your semen, and the same applies to women. The food she eats will have an impact on her vaginal odor. If she eats a lot of cabbage, garlic, broccoli and onions, her vaginal odor is going to be very pungent. On the other hand, if she’s eating a lot of sweet foods like pineapple and strawberries, her vagina is going to smell sweeter as well.

When To See A Doctor

If you’ve gone through every possible cause of her vaginal odor and you still aren’t able to eliminate it, it may be time to get checked out by the doctor. Other reasons to bring a doctor on board are:

• Pain while urinating (you or her)
• Discharge coming from your penis
• If odor doesn’t go away with hygiene or gets worse
• Sexual intercourse is painful for her

There’s nothing embarrassing about going to see the doctor – if you’re not comfortable talking with the doctor you currently have about sex or the health of your genitals, find a new one. If your partner isn’t comfortable enough with her doctor to do so, encourage her to find a doctor she is comfortable with.

How To Talk To Her About It

Having to talk to her about her vaginal odor might seem impossible, but if you do it very carefully, it will end well. Some things to keep in mind are:

Don’t Joke About It

Never make jokes about her vaginal odor or make fun of her in any way. Never allow her to overhear you joking about it with your friends, never put it in a text, etc. etc. Guys can often be insensitive, but make sure you’re aware of her feelings the entire time.

Come Off As Concerned

Don’t approach her in a critical way – she’ll instantly get defensive. Instead, make sure she knows you’re concerned about her and her health, not about yourself. If she truly feels as though you care, she’ll be more willing to investigate the problem with you. Offer to go to the doctor with her and be supportive of her as you both try to figure out the root of the problem.

Be Honest With Her

Honesty is important here. While you want to be careful about what you’re saying, lying to her or trying to “sugar coat” the issue isn’t going to get you anywhere. Just be truthful with her in a courteous way.

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Question: Hi Dan and Jennifer – I have a problem! Each time I put my finger into my girlfriend’s vagina, she says that it hurts – but it is only one finger and I want to give her a vaginal orgasm! All along I have been giving her a clitoral orgasm. I have my fingernails cut properly and I think one time I accidentally cut her vaginal wall to a point where it bled a little…does that affect anything? I really need help because I want her to feel good!

–YouTube Viewer

Common Reasons Fingering Can Hurt

There are many reasons that fingering can hurt – and it may be just one reason, or it may be many factors that contribute to pain during this activity.

Lack Of Proper Lubrication

The most common reason that fingering is uncomfortable or painful for a woman is if she’s not lubricated enough down there. Many people assume that if she’s turned on, she’ll be wet enough down there, while other people assume that spit is a good enough lube. If you really want to avoid pain during this activity, you’re going to want to use a good, water based lubricant and plenty of it. The more, the better!

If she’s not lubed up enough before you insert your finger into her vagina, it can be difficult for it to go in, and it can cause a lot of friction against the walls of her vagina. The vaginal tissues are very delicate and can tear or bleed if there’s too much friction without enough lubrication. Lube is inexpensive and can be purchased almost anywhere. There’s no reason not to use it!

Fingernails

If your fingernails aren’t cut or trimmed down well enough, or if you have hangnails, these can cut or tear the vaginal tissues inside. This is painful and may even cause bleeding! Take the time to trim your fingernails and cuticles, or if you don’t know how to do it yourself, man up and go get a manicure! Another option, especially for men who work with their hands and have rough calluses on their fingers, try wearing a condom or latex or vinyl glove when you finger your partner. This makes it go in and out smoothly, and you’re guaranteed not to hurt her.

Yeast Or Bacterial Infections

A lot of people don’t want to think about it, but a woman who experiences pain during fingering or intercourse may have a bacterial or yeast infection. Yeast and bacterial infections are common, and it simply happens when either the pH level in the vagina is out of whack or bacteria is introduced. In fact, you may have given her a bacterial infection if there was dirt and bacteria under your nails the last time you put your fingers in her vagina!

Chemicals On The Skin

It is so, so, so important to wash your hands before touching your partner’s vagina! Even if you’re only touching the clitoris or the labia – make sure your hands are clean first! Chemicals or substances on the hands can cause pain during fingering, especially if you’ve just dug into a basket of hot wings. Don’t assume that just because your hands look clean that they are – wash up with soap and hot water and your lady will thank you tremendously!

She May Not Be Aroused Enough

A woman has to be fully aroused before any down-there action can feel good. If you try fingering before she’s ready, she’s going to tighten her muscles and she’s not going to be relaxed enough for you to get your finger all the way inside. Coupled with not being lubed up enough, this scenario can be disastrous! Spend some time kissing her and engaging in foreplay before you actually make the move to start fingering her. Making sure that she’s aroused and practically begging you to do it will keep it from hurting her as much.

Using Too Many Fingers Too Fast

A lot of guys think that they can start fingering their partner with three fingers – and this is not the case! Starting with too many fingers or pushing too hard or too fast before she’s really ready for that level of action can cause extreme discomfort and pain. Start with one finger and work your way up as she gets more and more aroused.

How To Make Fingering More Pleasurable For Her

There are many ways to make sure that fingering is pleasurable for her. In fact, before you start trying to learn specific techniques to give her an orgasm, check out these basic tips to make sure you’re not hurting her.

• Go slow and use lots of lube.
• Start with one finger at a time and slowly work your way up to more if she seems into it.
• Pay attention to her cues – she will let you know if it’s uncomfortable or not with her body language.
• Can she finger herself without pain? If not, the issue may be bigger than you.
• Try fingering in combination with oral sex. Start by licking her clitoris and when she’s aroused, slowly begin to use your finger.

When To Get Her Checked Out

If fingering always hurts, lube stings and she’s not even able to finger herself, there may be something going on down there that needs a doctor’s diagnosis. Infections will cause almost anything to be painful down there, even urination. Communicate with her about what hurts and why it hurts, and if she needs to go to the doctor, offer to go with her without passing judgement. Eliminating all the possible causes of pain during fingering is the best way to get to the root of the problem – and get rid of it!

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Men and women experience sex in very differently. For men it’s relatively easy: see woman, want to have sex with woman, hopefully penis will touch woman. Obviously that is an oversimplification, but, compared to the woman’s experience, that’s all it is. If you develop a better understanding of how women satisfy themselves, perhaps it would seem less complicated.

She Creates A Mood

In order to achieve orgasm, a woman needs the right atmosphere. She doesn’t light candles and get out the satin sheets every time she masturbates; she just needs to feel comfortable. If not, she can’t concentrate on the task at hand, so to speak. If she is too cold or too exposed or too anything that distracts her pleasure, it’s not going to happen. That sounds daunting, but finding the right ambient balance isn’t too difficult if her mind is calm. Plus, extreme horniness will always overtake any environmental distractions.

She Sets A Pace

Regardless of the method, a woman fingers herself rhythmically. Meaning, there is an even flow of strokes and caresses, allowing her to concentrate on the sensations each touch gives. A choppy technique can be distraction. Whereas a man responds to physical stimulation alone, a woman puts herself into an almost meditative state. Otherwise, no amount of touching will induce orgasm. Again, this sounds quite complicated to men, but a woman does know how to adjust her focus in different situations.

She Has A Specific Technique

All women have that one sure-fire orgasm making technique. This is not to say that a woman has only one way of satisfying herself, but she does have a method that guarantees her orgasm. I know that you are hoping that I’m about to tell you what it is, but I’m not. It is as diverse as ladies themselves. Some women like direct manual stimulation of the head of the clitoris, but some ladies are far too sensitive and require indirect stimulation. There are even girls who can get off just by rubbing their inner thighs. Whatever her technique, find out what it is, and learn to employ it in given situations.

She Uses A Vibrator

Many girls start out using their fingers during masturbation, but it doesn’t take long for them to graduate to sex toys when they get older. Once a woman tries a vibrator, there’s often no going back – simply because a vibrator offers pleasure whenever she wants it and can make her orgasm fast and hard. Girls are busy ladies after all, and they don’t always have time to sit around and finger themselves for an hour until they reach climax. Instead, using a vibrator can help her get things done quickly, with just as much – if not more – pleasure than if she used her hands alone.

She Reads Erotic Novels

Men look at porn when they masturbate, but women don’t respond to visual stimuli the way men do. They prefer to use their imaginations to think about sex and different sexual scenarios that turn them on. Sometimes, women can do this on their own without any help at all, but other times, she may enjoy reading a romantic or erotic novel before she masturbates or while she’s doing it. Girls love using erotic novels for masturbation because it really gets their biggest sexual organ involved – their brain!

She Does It More Than Once

If a girl reaches orgasm through masturbation once, it’s likely that she’ll do it again a few times before she’s thoroughly finished. Many times, girls will experience their first round of multiple orgasms through masturbation, simply because they stop after the first orgasm but realize they don’t feel quite done yet. Unlike men, girls don’t go back down to an unaroused state after their first orgasm. Instead, they go back to the “plateau” phase – which comes after the foreplay phase but before the orgasmic phase. That makes it much easier for her to reach orgasm again after the first time!

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The Importance Of Foreplay

I know that you think fingering her is foreplay, but this is why you keep missing the train to O-town. Women’s physical arousal is very different from a man’s. For men it’s easy: show some cleavage, he’s up. Touch his dong, he ejaculates. A woman needs a more complete process to be turned on, and if you touch her privates before you’ve warmed her up, it is irritating at best.

Fortunately, if she likes you well enough to even consider letting you touch her in her swimsuit place, that’s half the battle. The rest of it involves attention: kissing, fondling, stroking. Whatever it is that helps to build a connection between the two of you is valuable. Soul bearing honesty is unnecessary, just show that you are in the moment with her. She may have no intention on calling you the next day, but if all you do is absent-mindedly stick your penis in her, she’ll mock you to her friends.

Tease Her

Once you have spent some time with the rest of the body, you can move between the legs. Again, one of the best sex tips is to have patience. She may be slightly aroused, but if you go in now you’ll be at it so long your fingers will cramp, and you’ll get bored. If she sees that you’re bored, she’ll never cum. Instead, feel around the lady bits. Cup them with your hand.

Massage her labia gently and slowly, but then move to her inner thighs for a bit. If you rub the fleshy part of the upper inner thigh, you will run into the pudendal nerves, which are the carriers of stimulation to and from the clitoris.

Get Ready For The Orgasm

Now she is ready for you to finish her off. The next source is her vagina. You can slide one or more fingers into the vagina to give them some glide, but do not think that you are going to make her cum that way (unless you’re a g-spot expert, but if everything here is new info, you’re probably not.) If she’s not wet enough yet, make sure you use some lube. Using lube is probably one of the most important sex tips you can take to heart – without it, your movements will be uncomfortable or painful for her.

Apply light, rhythmic strokes to the head of the clitoris. Whether, it’s counterclockwise, clockwise, up and down, or what, just make sure you keep a consistent rhythm to the strokes. You can pull away every now and again if she is not near orgasm. If she is about to cum, you better stay in that exact spot until you finish her off, as she will stop having an orgasm the second you stop touching her. Then, you are going to have one angry lady on your hands.

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Drink Lots Of Water

Make sure you and your partner are drinking enough water every day. The body is about 70% water, so each person requires roughly eight or so glasses of water a day. A glass is about 8 oz. – so it’s safe to say that a lot of people don’t get enough water. Replacing drinking water with drinking soda, sweet tea or any other sugary or caffeinated drink can definitely contribute to a UTI.

Bathe Before And After Sex

This is probably one of the best things you can do to help prevent getting a UTI during sex. Both men and women naturally harbor bacteria all over the body, however, it’s not necessarily the kind of bacteria you want to introduce to your genitals during intercourse. Hot, sweaty sex (the good kind) can definitely create a breeding ground for bacteria and contribute to urinary tract infections. Simply make a shower before sex part of foreplay – and make sure you wash up afterwards as well.

Women: Be Careful What You Use Down There

Scented lotions, sprays and soaps can irritate the delicate tissues of the vagina, which can lead to an infection. Even products that are designed for use in, on or around the genitals – such as douches or feminine deodorant sprays – can irritate the vagina if there are any chemicals, soaps or perfumes in the products. Avoid douching, and stick to using only plain, unscented soap during showers or baths. You may also want to take showers instead of baths, as bacteria and fungus in the bathwater can easily travel up the urethra.

Wear Cotton Underwear

If you or your partner do not wear cotton panties, briefs or boxers, you may want to switch to wearing cotton only. Any time there is heat and moisture around the genitals, it can cause bacteria to breed. Cotton fabric allows moisture to evaporate through the fabric, while other fabrics (such as polyester or lingerie items) can trap moisture near the genitals.

Change Sex Positions

Sex positions where the penis rubs up against the urethra – such as missionary or girl on top sex positions – can also cause urinary tract infections. This is because the friction during sex actually pushes more bacteria up the urethra. Instead, try sex positions that don’t involve the urethra, such as doggy style or reverse cowgirl.

Urinate After Sex

Make sure that along with showering after sex (or having sex in the shower!) that you also urinate immediately after having sex. This will help flush out any bacterial or fungus that was pushed into the urethra during intercourse. While this isn’t going to completely prevent UTI’s from ever happening, it can certainly help reduce the occurrence of a UTI or at least make the UTI less intense and easier to treat if you do get one.

Pay Attention To Your Sensitivities To Condoms And Spermicides

Spermicide and condoms with lube or spermicides can also help contribute to urinary tract infections if you’re a fairly sensitive person. This can happen to both men and women, although, it is more common for women to get UTI’s from intercourse, condoms and spermicides. When you try a new product, make sure you aren’t using anything else new at the time. For example, don’t try out a new lube and a new condom at the same time.

This is because if you find that you have a sensitivity to the product, you’re not going to be able to tell which one it is. Introduce each new item alone and pay attention to your reaction to it. If you’re sensitive to it or get a UTI, try something else until you find something that works with your body chemistry. There are lots of lubes that are available for sensitive skin!

Increase Your Vitamin C Intake

Extra vitamin C will help adjust the pH in your bladder and urethra, making it difficult for bacteria to actually live there and cause an infection. You can do this by taking simple vitamin C supplements, or by drinking more vitamin C rich juices. If you do choose to go the juice route, make sure that you’re not drinking juices that are packed with sugar, as this can actually make UTI’s worse.

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Just What Is A “Double Vagina?”

A double vagina, also known within the medical community as a “didelphic uterus,” is when a girl actually has more than one uterus, cervix or canal. It is not uncommon for a woman with a didelphic uterus to have two canals, however, it is also possible for a woman to have more than one uterus but with only one cervix and canal. Regardless of the presentation of this condition, it is not something that can be seen even when the girl is fully naked. It’s all internal. In fact, there are many women who may not even be aware that they have this condition!

Are Two Better Than One?

You might think that having a double canal would be more fun during sex – after all, wouldn’t it bring a whole new meaning to the term “double penetration?” The truth is, there is usually one primary uterus, cervix and canal and the secondary organs are much smaller. A lady with more than one canal may not even be aware that she has the condition. This is due to the second vaginal canal usually being no larger than the width of a pencil and may be hidden within the labia and folds of the vulva.

A common side effect from a double vagina is longer, more intense periods with more pain and bleeding. Some women may experience more “breakthrough bleeding” if they wear tampons – this is because often each uterus will have its menstruation at the same time and since the tampon is inserted only into the primary canal, the woman can experience bleeding around the tampon from the other uterus and canal.

How It Affects Sex

Usually, this condition will not affect sex at all since the secondary one is so much smaller. Some women may experience pain during sex due to this condition, but this is uncommon as the canal is made to stretch to accommodate a variety of different penis sizes.

During sex, the penis is usually inserted into the primary vagina, without regard to the smaller, secondary one at all. In fact, if a girl doesn’t tell her partner that she has more than one, he may never even know! Since the secondary canal is never used for penetration, a woman is still able to experience sex with as much pleasure and capacity for orgasm as any other girl. The g-spot should still be present in the primary canal.

How It Affects Pregnancy

While having a double vagina doesn’t necessarily affect sex all that much, it can be more complicated if a woman with this condition becomes pregnant.

• It is possible for sperm to travel through both canals and fertilize eggs within each uterus separately. This can also happen at different times. A girl could be several weeks or months pregnant in one uterus, and then get pregnant in the second one. The deliveries could then be several days, weeks or months apart!
• Each uterus is smaller than what an average uterus would be, so it is possible that neither uterus would be suitable for carrying a fetus to full term. In a study of 18 pregnant patients with a double vagina, only 67.5% of the babies survived. Most of the women required a c-section surgery to deliver the baby. However, with proper prenatal care and a doctor who is familiar with the condition, the fetal survival rate is most likely much higher.

How The Condition Is Treated

Most of the time, a girl with more than one uterus and more than one cervix or canal requires no treatment at all. Another similar condition, called a uterine septum, may require surgery, however, surgery is usually not recommended for women with more than one uterus, cervix or vagina.

How Common Is A Double Vagina?

About 1 in 3,000 women have a double vagina and many of them may not be aware of their condition. Usually, if a girl does not have any symptoms such as painful periods or excessive bleeding, she may never know that she has more than one. The condition is usually discovered when a woman sees her doctor or gynecologist with complaints of very severe pain during menstruation or pain during sex.

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Question: Is it true that the more babies a woman has had the less pleasure she feels from sex, because she is ‘loose’?

–YouTube Viewer

Does Everything Go Back To Normal?

While some women take longer to “bounce back” after having a baby than others, almost every woman’s body returns back to normal after having a child. The breast size will reduce after she stops breastfeeding, and the vagina will firm back up in the months after she’s given birth. A vagina does stretch a great deal when accomodating a the size of a baby, but the skin and tissue down there is very elastic and most of the time will return to it’s normal size and shape after everything is said and done. This certainly doesn’t happen right away, however, and it may even take several months to a year before her body is fully back to normal.

How She Can Take Care Of Herself

Exercising and eating a healthy diet is one of the best things she can do to help her own body return to normal as quickly as possible. To help her vagina return to normal after birth, she can regularly do kegel exercises. Kegels involve squeezing the PC muscles (the same ones used to stop the flow of urine) and holding them several times in a row. The PC and pelvic floor muscles are what are weakened during pregnancy and the birthing process, so exercising them regularly will help them firm up. Remember to follow all doctor’s orders for exercise, diet and sex after pregnancy. Most doctors recommend waiting at least six weeks after a natural, uncomplicated birth to release a woman for exercise and sex. This time frame may be longer if the birth was complicated or a c-section was performed.

Will Some Changes Be Permanent?

Typically, no. A woman’s body is designed to be with child and to give birth – it’s a completely natural process. The biggest changes you may notice after a woman gives birth are that she carries weight in different places than she did before or is heavier now, but of course, exercise and a healthy diet will help some with that. Her breasts may be a little saggier, but then again, gravity affects most women at some point in their lives! A woman’s vagina may be very different after giving birth if she had an episiotomy or tore during the birthing process. An episiotomy is where the skin between the vagina and anus is cut to make more room for the baby, and the incision is stitched up afterwards. Some doctors will repair vaginal tears and some won’t, depending on the doctor’s preference and the severity of the tear. This may change the way her vagina looks and feels, but it won’t stop her or you from receiving sexual pleasure and more often than not the changes are small and easy to overlook.

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Question: I heard from a friend that if a girl has a baby that her vagina will be wider than before and her breasts will be bigger is this true?

–YouTube Viewer

What Happens To Her Body During Pregnancy

A woman’s breasts usually do get bigger during pregnancy and especially after she has the baby. During pregnancy, a woman’s blood volume actually increases by up to 40%, and much of this blood is used to simply nourish the body’s growing reproductive organs. It also goes to the breasts and vagina and can make both look much bigger and even swollen. After the baby is born, her breasts will become even bigger as her milk comes in. They will stay large if she chooses to breastfeed, or they will reduce in size several days after discontinuing breastfeeding. If she decides to breastfeed, you will even notice that her breasts change sizes several times throughout the day as the milk comes in and the baby nurses. Your partner may also have hair and skin changes, where her hair becomes fuller and her skin becomes darker or blotchier. After the baby is born, her vagina may look and feel different. It may feel more loose or stretched out, or it may look larger and darker in color.

When Everything Goes Back To Normal

Usually, after a baby is born, a woman’s body goes back to it’s normal, pre-pregnancy state. After breastfeeding is stopped, the breasts should return to their original size. The body absorbs the extra fluid and blood that was created during pregnancy and skin discolorations generally start to subside a few days or weeks after the birth. The vagina is made to be elastic and resilient and even the vaginal canal and surrounding vulva will begin returning to normal at this point as well.

When Everything Doesn’t Go Back To Normal

While a woman’s body is designed to “bounce back” after pregnancy (even though this process can take some time), there are changes that take place that may be permanent. After breastfeeding, a woman may notice that her breasts are larger or smaller than they were before, and they may be droopier or less perky than they were before the pregnancy as well. She may lose the extra pounds she gained during pregnancy and return to her pre-pregnancy weight, however, the weight may be distributed in different places. She may now carry more weight on her hips and lower stomach, even if her “trouble spots” were always her thighs or buttocks before. The vagina may retain some of the changes that took place during pregnancy and birth, especially if her vagina tore at all and required stitches. Sometimes, doctors will perform a procedure called an episiotomy, where the skin is cut to make room for the baby and then stitched back up. This can make sex feel very different for both her and her partner.

Even though the body goes through monumental changes during pregnancy and birth, sex can still be very pleasurable – and sometimes even better than before!

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This can come as even more of a shock if a woman has previously enjoyed G-spot or vaginal orgasms and great sex, because the loss of sensitivity may create some feelings of inadequacy. What can a woman that has lost vaginal sensitivity do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I was married for 11 1/2 years and the sex was good. Then I divorced and remarried. While my husband (now) and I were dating our sex was AMAZING!!! I never knew a woman could have an orgasm like that. I would drench him and the sheets by just having regular sex with no stimulation of the clitoris.

We’ve been married for 2 years now and for the last year I am not able to be stimulated inside anymore. I feel his penis in me but it doesn’t get stimulated. I asked my doctor and he just says to stimulate my clitoris, well I don’t want to have to do that all the time. I want to feel the stimulate my vagina again.

Why has this happened? What went wrong? Please help.

- Michael, Florida

Realize that it may be age or frequent sex that has caused the loss of muscle tone.

Both age and frequent sex cause the loss of muscle tone. It’s something that happens naturally, so if you find yourself in a situation where sex isn’t as great as it once was, age and sex may be the culprits. The loss of vaginal muscle tone also happens after a woman gives birth vaginally. That said, however, you certainly aren’t out of luck when it comes to this situation.

You can increase vaginal muscle tone by doing Kegel exercises. Kegel exercises work to improve the strength of the pelvic floor muscles, which are responsible for holding in urine among other things. You can do Kegel repetitions by simply squeezing your vaginal muscles as though you were going to stop a stream of urine before you had completely finished. No one’s going to know you’re doing it, so feel free to sneak in a few Kegels at your desk or in line for lunch! Regular Kegel exercises will improve vaginal muscle tone, making it easier for you to climax vaginally without any external clitoral stimulation.

Seek a sex therapist.

You may have visited your doctor, thinking something was wrong with the machinery down there. This is most likely not the case, although mentioning the situation at your yearly visit to your doctor won’t hurt anything and it’s always nice to get a professional medical opinion about an issue that you’re having. Sex therapists, however, have more to offer in that department so you might want to seek one out to help you with your vaginal sensitivity loss. They’ll have plenty of tips, tricks and things you and your partner can try to get your sex lives up and running again!

Work with different positions.

Nothing stays the same all the time, especially sex. Even if it’s with the same person, sex can change. You can get into a routine where you’re comfortable with sex and nothing out of the ordinary happens. Comfort sex is great, but it can be frustrating when you’re looking to get those mind blowing orgasms back.

Don’t be afraid to try new things and try new positions and realize that the same position that gave you that great orgasm a few months ago might not work now. That’s okay and that’s one of the great things about sex – it always keeps you on your toes, looking for new things to do and new ways to achieve good orgasms and please your partner!

The loss of vaginal sensitivity that many women experience is a mixture of many different factors. It never hurts to get a medical opinion, but if you’ve tried several different sexual positions and nothing is working for you, see a sex therapist. If after a few months of trying to get back into your groove it still isn’t happening, relax. Find a new and different way to enjoy yourself and just go with the flow!

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