Ask Dan and Jennifer » virgin

eXtreme Sex Ed: Help! I Feel Like A Spectator During Sex! (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:12:37 +0000

If you’re new at sex or are just new to your partner, it might be difficult for you to get "into" your partner.

Things might seem awkward at first and it can be frustration to experience sexual intimacy with your partner without being really "into" it. How can you get more into your partner and more into sex with them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I want to tell my bf what I like in bed, but I don’t know how, because I don’t masturbate? (That’s right! – remember from before Scarlett is a pastor’s kid…) I feel like a spectator during sex. I find it hard to relax and I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. Please help.

–Scarlett, NJ

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Finding Out What You Want

For you to get "into" sex, it’s important for you to experiment with what turns you on. If you don’t know what turns you on and what gets you excited, it’s hard not to feel like a spectator when you’re actually doing the deed. How do you do that? One of the greatest ways to experiment with what you like is to masturbate.

Use your hands, a detachable shower head or even toys to find out what feels the best. You can masturbate with your partner if you prefer, or you can masturbate alone to really try new things and find out what really gets you going.

It’s difficult to get into sex and share with your partner what you like without first knowing yourself.

Get Into The Game

One of the best ways to find out what you like during sex and really get into it is to just dive in and do it! Spend time experimenting with different techniques, including genital massage, oral sex and sexual intercourse.

You might like simultaneous oral sex or you might really enjoy your partner using their hands on you.

You’ll never know though if you don’t try! Have sex with your partner and make mental notes of what you don’t like and what you really don’t want to try again. Next time, try something new.

Continue to do this until you find a few things that you really enjoy doing with your partner. Make a mental note of these and when you’re feeling turned on, you and your partner can use these things to get you really excited and into it.

Make sure both partners get equal satisfaction. It’s easy for a woman to feel like a spectator during sex if the focus is on the man. Share each other equally and take turns pleasuring each other until you build up to an amazing climax!

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I’m A Virgin – Will My Big Penis Hurt My Partner? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 13:38:40 +0000

This isn’t a common question because usually it’s the other way around with a man asking if his penis is too small. Though the questions are opposites, the answers share a common thread.

It’s really not the size of your penis, but how you use it. A lot of guys see this as a copout response, but it is the honest answer. It also depends on the woman and the size of her vagina. If you think your penis is to large for your woman then you should take it slow and see how she responds.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My penis is 7.5" long. I’m a virgin and I don’t want my first time to hurt whoever I intend to share my virginity with. Am I too big?

–Concerned, Florida

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Penis size really isn’t that important

What is more important than length of your penis is the width of it. If your penis is long and thick then your partner might be in for a little bit of trouble. There is no "correct" length, because we are all made differently but what really matters is if you and your partner enjoy sexual intercourse and that you’re not causing her discomfort. If it is your first time, then you should take it slow and see how she reacts.

You’ll find there are a lot of women out there who enjoy a large penis, so don’t worry too much if you think you’re too large. There are also plenty of lubricants to help ease the process of insertion to make it much gentler on the woman. Sex is to be enjoyable to both parties, but some men who have larger penises don’t stop to think if it might be uncomfortable for a woman.

You’ll find you will have a much better sex life if you do stop to consider your partner’s enjoyment as much as your own. You won’t hear as much praise from your partner if you are a "stick it in and hope for the best" kind of guy. Sex is as much about pleasing your partner as it is pleasing yourself.

A large penis is intimidating

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Lying Virgin – Do Hookers and Hand Jobs Count? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:44:41 +0000

If you’re in a relationship, you’re likely to be with someone who has had at least one other partner before you. Sometimes you’re with someone who hasn’t, or sometimes they’ve had more than they can count on their fingers . . . and toes.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be difficult getting over the other women but not impossible.

Here’s how to come to terms with your partner’s past partners.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. When we were first together he said that he was a virgin. Since he was 20 I found this surprising but I trusted him. Only after I slept with him did he confess that he had been with someone when he was deployed in Korea (he’s in the army). He paid for it I think she was only a bartender not a regular hooker. She also did oral on him and he has received "hand jobs" and oral one other time. Now that I know all these I can’t get out of my head of him with other women and I am constantly worrying that I am not the best out of them. How do I get over the idea of my boyfriend being with a hooker of all people and the others? And to stop comparing myself?

- Laura, Ohio

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Realize They’ve Had Other Partners

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Is It Normal For a Virgin to Be Into BDSM? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 16 May 2008 13:43:17 +0000

As a virgin, it’s normal to find yourself turned on and sexually excited by many things, even if you’ve never actually had sexual intercourse.

What turns you on is going to be different from what turns someone else on, and it’s important to embrace diversity and celebrate your uniqueness!

Is there ever a point where something that turns you on would not be considered normal, especially if you’re a virgin?

Well, yes and no. It’s a complicated situation that needs a hard, honest look.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I found your website on YouTube. I think I am into BDSM or there may be something wrong with me. I believe I am more Sadistic than Masochistic though and I am still a virgin as is my boyfriend. He likes to be clawed and chained (yet to let me do that though) and when I scream in pain because I got hurt or something he gets a little excited. I have clawed him so bad I took chunks of skin out of his hips and when he screamed in pain I laughed at him.

The idea of burning, whipping, tying down, flogging, wrist/handcuffing, caging, and torturing him sounds fun. Is there something wrong with me?

Is it possible for a virgin to be into BDSM like this?

- Barbara, Missouri

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Virgin Into BDSM

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