When should you take down your online dating profile? Should you wait until you’re exclusive with this person before you do, or should you take down your profile on the first date?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I’ve met someone I really like online. I’d like to pursue a relationship with them, but I still have my online dating profile. Should I take it down right away or leave it up in case this relationship doesn’t work out?

 

–Shanna, FL 

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Has Your Date Taken Down Their Online Dating Profile Yet?

Many people will keep their online dating profile up on the site for quite some time, even after they’ve found a potential match or even someone they really like. Why is this? It’s somewhat like leaving your resume on a job search website.

Even though you’ve found a new job, it never hurts to have your resume out there just in case you’re contacted by a really great opportunity. It seems logical, right?

Unfortunately, this is where not being on the same page as your date can really harm your budding relationship. For example, your date might have taken their online profile down as soon as they met you.

You might not be ready to take down your profile until you’re more sure of the relationship with this person, or even vice versa. However, it can definitely be hurtful if your partner believes they’re more serious with you than you think they are.

How To Avoid Uncomfortable Situations When It Comes To Removing Your Profile

The most important thing to do when it comes to your online profile and your new online dating partner is to be open and honest with them. Really, you and your new partner are not exclusive until you’ve both sat down and talked about being exclusive. If you haven’t had that talk, you’re really both free and open to continuing to meet other people and potential matches.

If you’re really hitting it off with this particular partner, however, you might decide to have the “exclusive” talk sooner rather than later. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to commit to each other, but it’s important to be on the same page with them.

You can start the conversation out in an open manner, such as saying, “Now that we’re dating, how do you feel about continuing to use our online dating profiles?” You can also be more frank about the issue, especially if you feel more comfortable leaving your profile up.

For example, you can say something like, “I would like to keep my online dating profile up while we’re in the beginning stages of getting to know each other.” This lets your new partner know what your plans are so there are no surprises later.

Whether you and your new partner decide to leave your profiles up or take them down, or any combination of the two, it’s most important to be open and honest with your partner so you both are on the same page. Honesty and trust are the best way to build a relationship with someone, and will give you a solid foundation to start on.

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