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Why So Many Men Are Emotionally Unavailable – The Astrology of Feeling

Jeffrey Kishner — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 14:13:09 +0000

Emotionally Unavailable Men

Many women wish that their men were more emotionally available, yet when a man cries or shows sensitivity, he is perceived as weak or un-masculine.

In the culture of the U.S., men have been raised to be John Wayne, not Johnny Depp. A guy’s effete mannerisms make one wonder about his sexual orientation; a tear shed makes him a sissy. Boys may be raised with classic lines like "Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about."

Face it…

Despite more flexibility in our culture regarding gender, boys are still expected to be boys. Emotions are considered the territory of girls, and boys are only supposed to focus on playing in the dirt (or playing dirty) and developing their analytical skills. It’s more important for a guy to diagnose a problem with his carburetor than identify the source of his melancholy.

Despite the weight of upbringing and social mores, some boys still turn into "girly men," as the famous Hanz and Franz SNL sketch goes. And it has nothing to do with being gay or straight.

Why is that?

The Astrology of Feeling

In astrology, the twelve signs of the zodiac are broken up into four elements, or ways of processing experience. These elements are Earth, Fire, Air and Water. The Earth sign man is a solid, dependable type who only believes in what he can hold with his two hands. The Air sign man is logical and verbal, more into information and dialogue than inner experience. The Fire sign man is outgoing and inspirational, channeling his passion into creativity and sharing his message with the world. And then there’s the Water sign man.

The Water sign man is either a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. These are all deeply emotional signs. Sometimes a Water sign man will have a tough exterior, but he is simply protecting his vulnerable insides from the world. After all, both the crab (Cancer) and scorpion (Scorpio) have exoskeletons. Do you know any men who withdraw into their shells and then defend themselves by side-stepping (Cancer) or stinging you (Scorpio)? Or how about men who create confusion by stirring up the waters with their fins (Pisces)? All these sea animals have developed ways to survive, and it is no different for Water sign men.

Unfortunately, with all the pressure to be "real men," these Water sign guys often rely on their defenses to keep their strong feelings at bay. A Pisces may resort to alcohol, a Scorpio may play power games, a Cancer may become zealously attached to his country and his local football team.

However, if you gain a Water sign man’s trust and help him feel secure, he will open up a world of feeling to you… and your relationship will be much richer for it.

Featured Author, Jeffrey Kishner is a professional astrologer and Licensed Mental Health Counselor. He blogs about the astrology of relationships at Seduction Central, and created the Seduction Central Social Network and Forum, where members discuss astrological compatibility. Subscribe to his blog’s feed or get updates via email.

Why Men Don’t Say ‘I Love You’…

Jeffrey Kishner — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 15:56:38 +0000

Your guy may change your tires, buy you presents and open the door for you at a restaurant, but he has not yet uttered those three words.

Does that mean he doesn’t love you?

Without hearing the utterance, you may wonder what’s going on in his skull. Is he just sticking around for the sex? Has he developed an intricate plan to win you over and then tear your heart out, just for the fun of it?

Men are hard to read. They are not as verbal as women, and some have been raised on the belief that "actions speak louder than words. "Chalk it up to genetics, culture (nature versus nurture) … it doesn’t matter. You just want to know if you’re a man’s final destination, not just a rest stop along the highway.

Fortunately, knowledge of your guy’s zodiac sign can help you determine if he’s the strong, silent type … or if he’s just taking you for a ride. The twelve Sun signs symbolize different ways that people express themselves. Some men are primarily emotional, others live in their heads. Look to your guy’s Sun sign below to learn how likely he is to say, "I love you."

Air Signs: Gemini, Libra and Aquarius

These mental, sociable signs vary greatly in their expressions of love. Gemini may say, "I love you" Wednesday, only to have changed his mind on Friday. He is a fickle man, and it is hard to hold his interest for long. Libra, on the other hand, is the romantic type, and will not only express his affection with "I love you," but also with songs, flowers, chocolates and reservations at fine restaurants. Aquarius will say "I love you … like I love all my friends!"

Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn

More than any other element, earth signs will express their love with actions more than words. After all, the earth element is all about what you can actually hold in your hands. Taurus will express affection by doing simple things for you, probably tasks that involve physical labor. Status-conscious Capricorn will buy you diamonds. Virgo is the exception — he does thrive on being helpful, but his sign is ruled by communication planet Mercury. He’s likely to put his love into words, but he’ll also alert you to the spinach lodged between your teeth.

Fire Signs: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius

These inspiring guys prefer drama, action and adventure over articulate expressions of their love. Leo (the exception) is most likely to exclaim his affection, preferably with Shakespearian prose in front of a crowded room. Sagittarius will take you along the entire Appalachian Trail, but may fear that "I love you" means having to stay home and watch network TV. Aries will say those three words only if he had to conquer another guy (or your own resistance) to get to you.

Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces

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How to ‘Lose’ a Taurus Man

Jeffrey Kishner — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:29:31 +0000

It’s not so easy to get dumped by a man who dislikes change. Of all the zodiac signs, Taurus is the most stubborn, a true creature of habit. The Bull is an earth sign (along with Virgo and Capricorn), focused on tangible progress and concrete results. He’s attached to his treasured possessions. Taurus values security and reliability, and will dig in his heels if forced to move from his sweet spot in the grass. So if he finds a comfortable relationship groove, it’s near impossible to steer him from his course.

Two Types of Losing

Sometimes you want to get rid of someone who won’t let go, and other times you screw up so bad you forfeit the person you cherished. Let’s cover both scenarios:

When a Taurus Man Won’t Leave

No matter how many times you’ve said "it’s over" — you need to take matters in your own hands. The Bull can be possessive, and letting go of you can be as hard as parting with the keys to his Range Rover. Or he may take you for granted, if you’ve become a fixture of his environment … like a cozy armchair. To make him turned off to you — so that he thinks it’s his decision to call it quits — be unpredictable (and tasteless) enough to make him supremely uncomfortable. Don’t return his calls, texts or emails with any regular frequency. If you live with him, come home late when you told him otherwise. Spend money in your shared account without consulting him. Buy a really ugly sculpture. Try to smell bad. Eventually, he’ll be so fed up with you that he’ll pack his bags … and his numerous collections.

When You’ve Lost A Taurus Man

If you’ve lost a Taurus against your will, you may have inadvertently turned him off by doing exactly what irks him the most. As much as you loved him, your unreliability — and lack of appreciation for the simple things in life — drove the nail in your coffin. It’s hard to say if he’ll let you back into his arms once he’s let you go, but the best way to turn things around is by becoming more grounded. You don’t have to give up your spontaneity, but you may need to channel it into activities that appeal to him — a hike along an unmarked trail, attendance at a vintage toy convention. And bringing home a box of chocolates always works!